A guy I work with hasn't bathed in over 2 years. He's dirty and crusted and smells like shit. He's kind of alright though because we watch anime and play vidya together. He has a lot of fun with that.
He's someone I watch for work. Every time I try to talk him into bathing or washing he ignores me and locks himself in his room.
What tactics can I use to convince this guy to wash himself?
Convince him that washing is critical for him to continue being employed. You can persuade him that the managers are growing dissatisfied with his scent.
Or you could do what my friend did to this other girl:
>Army training for reserves
>Girl refuses to shower despite it being two days
>Rest of squad decide to cover her in mud, especially her hair
>She's forced to shower else she'll look like a mud golem
Just replace mud with something else that leaves a nasty scent but do it with a few friends so the blame is split
>>27900680
He's a client, not an employee. Around 20 years old
I think you'd need to have the idea in your mind that he does want to wash, but he's too impulsive, and he probably knows this. I've been trying to decrease my impulsivity a lot lately; here are some internet things I found especially useful:
http://lesswrong.com/lw/3w3/how_to_beat_procrastination/
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aqhzFd4NUPI (yes I know she said some triggering things somewhere in the middle of the lecture but the main point is really important)
https://www.psychologytoday.com/files/attachments/59029/happy-chemicals.pdf
>>27900738
Makes sense. So I need to do less anime and videogames then?
>>27900893
They can be addictive. It really depends on how bad the situation is, of course. Is there anything else your friend might want to cut back on to help with their hygiene?
Teach him about the value of cleanliness in Japanese society
Tell him his waifu would have her whole famiry shamed if she ever interacted with someone so selfish
>>27900893
Another way I can motivate myself is by keeping a journal. Unfortunately I am not always consistent with it, but when I do, I can see how much ridiculous amounts of time I am spending on doing things I give only a decimal of a fuck about.
>>27900973
On a similar note, I find keeping a list each day helps me immensely
But I guess the most important thing is to find a technique that fits the person's personality. I'm a bit of an autist to "do x then x then x" worked for me.
>>27900566
Just ask to shower together ;)
>>27900996
It's tough. Mostly it just falls to him to do it himself. But I think he can be cool and want what's good for him.
>>27901056
Well good luck. Even if you can't find out how to solve it at least he doesn't have to be alone, that's valuable in itself
>>27900690
>Around 20 years old
tell him there is a brand new manga in the shower and the once he's in there you wrestle the shower onto him
>>27901081
I'm happy to hear that. Thank you.
>>27901099
If I was permitted to use force I would have some time ago.
I'm curious OP - what's your job, exactly?
>>27901112
>If I was permitted to use force
you will never win
>>27901133
OP is a retard wrangler
1. Trick him into going outside.
2. Lock the doors
3. Give him the hose
4. Break his will
5. Give him more hose water until clean
6. Post pics or it didn't happen.
>>27900996
Yeah, I think everyone needs to find their own way that works, but the number of methods are not so vast, so it's not such a huge deal. My process towards finding something that worked is really lengthy and would sound too much like a blog post, involving the details of my family and how they influenced my thinking.
I'm not sure if the links I posted made this clear enough, but sunshine and exercise can go a long way. And when I say 'exercise', I don't mean going to the gym to lift, or even doing sit-ups in the morning. I prefer to go on walks; just 90 minutes a week is fine, but I prefer 40 minutes each day. I have basically abandoned gaming. The things I consider fun now involve learning how to make software or poetry. Or sleeping; sleeping's really helpful for memory. If only I could sleep at the right time.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8bnniNxqB4w
>>27901181
Bingo. The guy's cool though, so I'm trying to think of something I can do.
>>27901271
What is he, a severe autist? Do his parents pay you to basically babysit and hang out with him or what?
>>27901286
Nah he was given to the state. So he's newly out of home and in a state home all by himself.
>>27901286
And yes autist is right. But the guy is smart enough. Wondering what more there is to do.
>>27900566
There's really nothing you can do. If he doesn't want to bathe, he's not going to bathe. Put some vaporub under your nose before you commence the tard wrangling
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LwWisZ016No&app=desktop
Just like that, the humiliation will keep him showering. But seriously, because you're handling a ward, shaming can go a long way. Buddy works with a mentally challenged anxiety case, while positive reinforcement is a good tool, not all work can be made into a positive experience. Sometimes drawing a line in the sand and some negative reaction can go a long way.
Shame the sweaty bitch. Why do you think we're all worried about our shoes?
>>27901337
Tell him that uncleanliness leads to depression, which might fool him into thinking he's depressed and that a bath will make him feel better.
Tell him that his uncleanliness makes it easier to spread diseases and make other people around him sick. Maybe this will guilt-trip him if he has a brain in his head.
OP, you're probably way smarter than I am, so judge for yourself if these plans are worth trying.
Burn it with fire.
Cover him in petrol and light him.
>>27901458
Those are good ones. I've made arguments before but they've never gone far with him. But I'm always willing to try new ones. Thanks
>>27900566
How comfy is your job? Is it basically keeping some social outcasts company once every while? Did you study nursing or psychology? Did you ever got threatened by some schizo, or stories like that?
>>27901522
It can be comfy depending on who you have. I've worked with all kinds, people who are pretty relaxed to people who spit on you and punch you.
You can't strike back or you'll get arrested. You can't even yell at them for acting that way to you, it would be deemed "emotional abuse" and you'll face termination, and possibly civil charges.
On my first day I had one who opened her car door and took off running and screaming down the street. That was interesting.
>>27901522
The guy I have now is pretty cool. We play Pokemon, watch anime, and play on my playstation. But the hygiene issues...
It's hard because I'm the only carer that does that with him. The others are too old and don't really get it, they just let him shut himself in all day. So I have this bond, but I still want to push to get him clean. He hates when I talk about cleaning though.
My grandfather had dementia, and wouldn't want to take a bath. One really smart nurse figured to tell him that there was always the possibility of visitors or important people or things happening that would require him to be presentable, and no one could know when exactly they would happen. So the thing was that he had to always "be ready", and when he went too long without a bath, he "wasn't ready", and telling him he wasn't ready would really get him to cooperate. I guess it was the anticipation and uneasiness of the unknown future that got him in line, or that's how it would have gotten to me if it I were in his place.
>>27901558
Did you ever had a client who was just an asshole and manipulated the system?
>>27901601
Nice. This dude had a birthday party and the admins and his mom were the only ones there. He smelled and everything, didn't give a damn.
I try telling him about arcades, and talking to girls. He likes it but never acts on the cleaning.
>>27901630
Not financially or anything. I don't think I had one smart enough. Or maybe I had one smart enough to fool me as well.
I've work with people who lie a lot for sympathy, and claim they've been abused. Luckily they've been found out and I've never seen anyone go to jail over a false accusation. But I bet it's happened.
Next time the conversation goes to that, just matter-of-factly say "yeah, I can't stand going more than a couple days without a bath. After just a couple days all of my dead skin dries up and itches just like bug bites".
Tell him if he has a shower and gets super clean you'll introduce him to a really cute girl. Then when he's confirmed had a shower and everything, give him one of those anime dakis.
Say "dude I've got to sit close to the tv when I play multi or I can't see what's goin on, and I'm literally getting sick sitting so close to you. I don't think I can play multi unless you take a bath."
>>27901798
Brilliant. Maybe my problem is I'm thinking too much in 3D.
>>27901812
I've been think of this. We'd probably never play multi, and since noone else plays with him, that would suck.
I'm going to try though.
>>27900680
That's a terrible idea though. I agree a harsh lesson would be best though this would just drive him away from op and leaving him to think he's a complete douchebag. It's not the army lol.
What if you were dirty and smelly for a day? I mean like run 2 miles and not even change clothes or shower. I bet he wouldn't like a taste of his own medicine. Beat him at his own game.
>>27901845
Get him one of these. You can find them anywhere for like $3 (this one's from walmart) and they feel amazing. Give him one and tell him to try it out dry on his arms. He could also scratch his back with it without even having to take off his shirt. It feels amazing, and he'll be able to look at the brush and see all of the dust on it that is actually his dead skin. Remind him that the amazing feeling comes from removing the debris and dead skin, but of course that it needs warm water and soap to really do its job.
He genuinly needs a reason to shower. If he's autistic he is probably so used to being judged he doesn't even try. Maybe he doesn't want to shower when people point him on this fact which was often my problem as a child. Though he definately needs a reason to shower perhaps the only way would be to harshly get him to humiliate himself or for him to have a girlfriend. Or when he goes to places he really likes such as anime conventions or E3. Trust me he will most likely shower because he LIKES the places and reminds him of what might make him happy. I'm just brainstorming but these are valid for as far as I'm conserned these were the times I took a shower when I was a lazy ass kid.
>>27901904
That's dirty. I'll think about it, but I hate the idea of being filthy myself. After a run might not be so bad though.
>>27901945
Is that a normal scrub brush or some kind of special bristles? What's it called?
>>27901948
Yeah, I tried with the anime convention and it didn't work. But maybe putting the thought of a girlfriend in his head. He's not overweight, so that works for him.
>>27901962
Nothing special about the bristles. They feel just like those on a toothbrush. Doesn't have to be any particular brand either.
>>27901962
http://www.walmart.com/ip/Body-Benefits-Bristle-Bath-Brush/22822783
>>27901984
Yes he sounds like me. I mean before many many traumas. He needs a reason. That's what's important. You take him someplace and you suggest a shower like it is a normal thing for example it's 3pm and you say 'Hey anon I'll meet you there at 3.30pm? Or if you need to make yourself ready. Just let me know if you still need to shower or something.' you virtually have little chance to convert him unless you suggest him it in a subtle manner. Not showering is almost completely for being so stuck in your own head that every physicall task that takes too much effort and too little fun is not worth the time. Or maybe he feels like he doesn't deserve it which was also my problem. I'm sure that you have a broken guy right there. It's hard to convert these people I should know.
Literally do a shit on him or throw your shit at him. He will be forced the bathe. If he doesn't then Jesus fuck get a hose and just corner him in the room and spray while reciting exorcism rights.
>>27902036
He can't drive and refuses to go outside. He hasn't been outside in months.
Sadly I agree though. Something's wrong but he can't express it.
>>27901945
Probably not a good idea to do that for a dude with autism severe enough to require a state-hired caregiver. Strange tactile sensations can make them flip out
>>27902060
Yes anon I know what's wrong. He's broken and that's what you have to deal with. Does he change his clothes?
>>27902075
Good point. Would have to know the guy first before making that call.
>>27902077
Only when I remind him.
>>27902036
see
>>27902075
>Strange tactile sensations can make them flip out
He probably just doesn't shower because he hates the sensation of being wet. We're talking legitimate autism here, not the "I'm awkward and depressed" /r9k/ meme variety
>>27902127
A dry brush might be a good start. So far he hasn't flipped out. I've worked with that before and most of the time there are signs, sometimes not.
>>27902104
Yes that's important. However not enough obviously. If he changes his clothes taht is good. Does he have very smelly feet? Because often the most horrible smell comes from that. Remind him to change his socks and to wash his feet. Very important as fuckin shitbro. Very important. You see my friend also reminded me to take showers all the fucking time or to atleast change my clothes so I always took the best choice. Tell him to 'atleast' change his socks and his underwear. You will have a HUGE compromise where he feels like he doesn't have to feel too guilty about it. He might start doing it without you reminding him of it because it's such a simple task and doesn't require to much physicall touch which showering does require. Give him one of the lesser evil. That will definately work aslong as he often enough meets up with you. Autism isn't a disorder. It's a torture.
>>27902127
Test this, challenge him to a squirt gun fight
This is an interesting thread, OP. I care for my cousin part time who also has actual autism.
I'm guessing if this guy is autistic he is going to like the concept of an organised routine, it eases a lot of the confusion. If your dirty neet does have one then try to work showering in there once you initially convince him to have one, however that might be.
>>27902193
I think you make a great point about the choice. Thanks, I'll try that.
>>27900566
>a guy I work with
>Neet
you seem to be a retarded normie gtfo
>>27902221
Read the thread, he just phrased it weirdly. Didn't want to admit he was a tard wrangler in the OP for some reason
>>27900566
>clean this dirty Neet
>A guy I work with
LOLWAT. NEET is an acronym, dude. you should google it to learn what it means and why you're a gigantic faggot
>>27900566
Fuck fuck fuck nigger shit dick lol I'm so high
>>27900566
so you are NEET babysitter or something, OP? What kind of job you have?
>>27902380
r e a d
t h e
t h r e a d
Fuck, newfags can't even lurk for a single thread before posting
>>27902208
I forget sometimes that there's a hard disability involved. I used "neet" based on the personality of the guy. We love games and anime. For some reason I was casually fishing for ideas on 4chan to solve this big problem. I got a few good ones though.
>>27902256
I absolutely deserved that.
if he's gonna act like a child then treat him like one.
>no vidya until you've had a bath!
