Well hello there, first time posting on this board, thought this subject maybe fits in here.
If you do not already know this is a feels thread, not a ''she doesn't love me'' or ''I give up and planning on killing myself'' thread, i just need to get some shit of my chest.
I have no idea how to start, i have never talked about this with anyone really, not my true feelings.
It all started when i was young, i never had a father growing up due to drug addiction. My mother would not let me see him because of this. I did not really understand why until i was like 6-7 years old when i was told he did drugs. My mother wasn't very good in relationships so i had many kind of father figures when i grew up. My father did become clean and held it for 1,5 years. I got to meet him the first time (as far as i remember) when i was 7 years old. He was very nice, almost to nice. I maybe knew him for 1 years then he died from drug overdose. He had meet an old friend that he used to do drugs with, the ambulance found him in a staircase lifeless. His ''buddy'' left him there after alerting them (im not even sure he was the one alerting them). Anyways, i was still very young and did not really understand the concept of death. After my father died shit went downhill really fast and really fucking drastic. My mother ironically used drugs ever since i was born and because of this she meet some crazy fucking people. As i wrote before i had many father figures because my mother slept with quite some guys, sadly. She even married one (as i later got to know he was a big drug dealer at that time) guy, but only for like 2 years. After they divorced, me and my mother moved to a smaller apartment down the street we already lived on. My mother had to work as i stripper to be able to pay the bills and her drugs of course. This went on for about 4 years, she meet and left many guys in these 4 years and some she only was with for like 1-2 month's...(CONT)
>>27633437
Saged & filtered
Nice blog post dickbreath
>>27633437
Everything seemed to be going very well awhile. My mother meet a very nice dude who became like a brother to me. Sure the fought sometimes (and i mean literally fought) but things were going well. My mother had gotten a job at the local library right next to my school, i couldn't have been happier.
Then one day, one fucking day shit went south. My mother had used some drugs during her work. Then other personnel called the police of course because my mother was tripping balls in the middle of the library.
I got home per usual after school, saw my mother sleeping on the couch. I knew she had used drugs and was sleeping it of so i just went in to my room and slept. Then i woke up of the sound of the police and social services knocking on the door. I panicked because i knew if they saw my mother in the state that she was in they would take me away. I forced her awake whispering that the police was here. Long story short i ended up in a foster home. Lived there for about 3 months, just about ready to go home again and i get i call. My mother had taken an overdose. I was about 12 years old when this happened.
From here.. Shit from here i cant even explain what was going thru my head. I dont remember very much between the years 12-13 almost 14. Everything went down. I did not understand what had happened really. I became some sort of empty shell. Tried not to think about it, just thought that it would become better with the years. It did not. I was in a coma like state, my mind empty. That is the only thing i really remember, emptiness. Complete emptiness.
I moved to a wonderful family who took care of me and got me on my feet's. Everything became sort of better with time, i just blocked all my feelings because i did not know how to handle them.
Now.. Now i feel so bad. Like my heart has become black. Im almost unable to love anything anymore. Ever since my mother died i don't think i have loved anyone really.
>>27633507
well fuck man, as i stated above its the first some posting on this damn board. I have no idea nor care how you like to read your threads.
>>27633459
well fuck, is it really that bad?
>>27633917lurk morelurk moreblox
>>27633976
Half of it is the layout, I mean for one you should know that
>meme arrows
are the appropriate way to format any long story, and even then the way you write is just a mess. It's literally like a blog post, you're just rambling about yourself in a way that is (no offense) not at all engaging or interesting to read.
>>27633437
Don't even try posting here.
Don't come to this board.
This board is a slippery slope.
Get off this board while you can. Better yet, off of this site. You're not trying to hide that you are a newfag: memecenter watermark, no knowledge of how 4ch works, etc.
So, while you can, leave.
Nice blog.
Please take this shit back to Tumblr where your lot fucking belong.
People like you are a cancer to this board of cancer.
learn to write kek
>>27633917
>I have no idea nor care how you like to read your threads.
>expecting us to read your shitty thread
>saying this
go away, normalfag.
this is now a spiderman thread
spiderbloxxxx
