>Living with parents because NEET
>Mom and Pop have like, 12 cats
>One of them gets clumps of fur when we forget to brush him
>He's got these huge lumps on his sides, Dad calls them parasitic twins
>Tells me one day "Anon, go clip Tigger's parasitic twins."
>Go on the porch with some scissors
>Clip Tigger's clumps of fur. He has a few bald spots
>Forget to clean up
The next day
>Get up in the morning
>Go downstairs, somebody broke in
> The cats are scared. It looks like nothing was taken
>Except one of the cats, Raymond.
>Hear loud meowing across the street
>I see a little girl with Raymond
>Run up to her, and I'm all "Thanks for finding my cat!"
>Little girl won't give Raymond back
>She thinks I'm skinning cats after seeing the clumps matted fur on the porch
>She won't let Raymond go
>I smack her upside the head, grab Raymond, and run like hell
>Hear her crying, don't look back
I never got any shit about this from anyone. I smacked a little girl and got away with it.
>>27607390
Whats wrong with that kitter?
Another one about the same girl.
>At night
>Hear some commotion next door
>Neighbor is an elderly Italian man
>He's screaming, time to check it out
>The little girl across the street broke into his house
>She won't leave, no matter how much my neighbor screams at her
>Her parents aren't home and she thinks he's evil
>I'm all "Not my problem!" and go back to bed
>>27607419
He has matted fur. It's what happens when you have a really fluffy cat and his fur gets too dirty and you forget to brush it. They end up getting these huge lumps of fur that can come off if you pull on them without much trouble. Sometimes the cat will like you for pulling them off, sometimes they will get mad and bitey.
this is 2016 /r9k/ we don't do greentext threads anymore we just do fembot feels, trap threads, and omegle threads get out of here
>>27607419
The hair gets so tangled and dirty that it gets hot for the cat, the cat tries to shed the hair but it's stuck to its body. So the hair just sits on the cat until someone pulls it off and underneath is bald
>>27607555
Trips of the sad truth.
>>27607488
>>27607390
Why is it so easy for this little girl to break into people's homes? Do you not have locks?
>>27607390
>cat named Raymond
kek
Here's another one about my cats
>Be 16
>Have a cat named Blacky
>She's real cute, but she hates me
>I'm stalking her throughout the house because I want to pick her up and pet her
>Cat jumps into my dresser, hides in my dirty sock drawer
>Can't find her, start singing a song
>"Little girly! Little girly! I'm gonna get you! Little girly!"
>I don't know why. I never called her Little Girly before.
>Brother walks in
>Gets all defensive and threatens to beat me if I tell Mom and Dad
>Confused, don't know what I did
A couple years later, I find that Bro has a loli rape game on his computer he was hiding from me. The game is awesome. He still doesn't know I found it and copied it onto my computer.
More cats
>Have a cat named Honey
>She has kittens
>All of them die except Lucky and Sweetie
>Lucky grows up to be fucking huge, the fattest fat fuck of a cat I've ever seen
>Sweetie is a normal cat that sleeps all day
>One day, watching TV with Dad
>Hear loud meowing
>Dad casually screams "Lucky stop raping your sister!"
>I walk over, sure enough, that's Lucky raping Sweetie
>They're both fixed (spayed and neutered), I don't know how exactly that works
>Ignore it and go back to TV because Strike Back is on
>Fuck yeah, Strike Back!
