Post feels
Talk about your meds
Call your doctors qt
Write about hospital experiences
>super depressed and anxious
>can't sleep(doctor gave me zolpidem but they don't work)
>got a panic attack on Monday just because I went outside
>first therapist gave up on me
>just been sitting at home since
>don't eat for days
>pretty much gave up
>wanted to go to the psychiatrist today so she can send me to a hospital
>psychiatrist just called me
>told me she found a new therapist
>set an appointment for tomorrow
Should I still go to my psychiatrist?
>>27506478
>be me, 20
>at hospital because of psychosis
>meet drug addict
>fall in love
>fuck in hospital bed
>both gets out of hospital
>become lovers
>mfw he started using heroin
>>27507404
I didn't believe until you said you said you fucked a guy. Have fun getting aids you trash roastie.
>>27506519
What do you mean she gave up on you?
Just told you you're no hope and should just die
>be me
>be insane
>>27507497
>implying he's a roastie
>be me
>be depressed and socially anxious
>see tons of psycholoigists that don't help and tell me I'm alien-like
>try a nice variety of drugs that I sometimes snort
>sell the left over drugs to friends at school
>go to psychiatrist
>she is smart
>take LSD
>am cured for a week
>go back into depression
>taking Pristiq
Me right now
>>27507597
All that money wasted on all those stupid prescription drugs when $20 worth of LSD or DMT may actually help. At least in the shot term
I'm going back on medication next week. I've been off for about 3 years, I can't remember exactly. I'm worried about being able to properly explain my thoughts to the doctor. When I was an adolescent, my mum did most of the talking.
on 100mg of sertraline for anxiety. had a really great therapist for a bit but our sessions concluded recently. i've been improving and getting my life on track. On a nice course at college three days a week. things are gradually getting easier.
Have schizophrenia and depression.
Was on abilify, wellbutrin and sertraline. Nothing worked, still depressed as fuck, see no future, still think people are watching me.
I think pills just don't work on me. I am too fucked up for them to work.
I was in hospital twice, they were always nice, but when you are inside it is different than being in real world. When you are inside everyone is nice to you, tries to understands you, tries to help you etc. both patients and staff. Once you go outside everyone starts judging you, mocking you, watching you and depression returns.
>>27506478
i think i have autism. and i had adhd in the past
Last night was really awful. I was seeing bugs everywhere, huge clumps of beetles and wasps and ants all over everything I looked at. I tried to eat dinner because I was really hungry, but my meal kept changing into something really disgusting and rotten, covered in the bugs and everything. Then I went out for a walk and around every corner I saw people staring at me. When I checked to see if they were really there, they'd disappear. I'm not sure, but I think I was hallucinating some music too. Maybe that was real. I dunno.
I'm really stressed because my roommates want to kick me out at the end of the week because I was late on rent again. Maybe that's got something to do with the hallucinations.
>>27507970
Also, when the bugs were flying around and they came near me, I could feel them hitting against my face. I kept myself pretty calm during all this, like I could easily see that I was hallucinating, but I was really grossed out.
>>27506478
>formally diagnosed with BPD, PTSD, ADD when I was 18 a day after my father died unexpectedly
>throw me on Lamictal and Prozac to begin with but refused to give me Adderall or anything for my panic attacks because I am a pretty obvious candidate for intense substance abuse
>end up just becoming an alcoholic instead lol
>years of heavy drinking, illicit stim + benzo on top of excessive experimentation to point of actual physical danger with research chemicals and MDMA have made everything so much worse
>have schizophrenic like symptoms; mild to full blown psychosis, went from sometimes suicidal to nearly constantly psychotically paranoid and actively suicidal
>throw me on Seroquel, up the Lamictal and switch me to Wellbutrin, finally fucking add Adderall 2 years later, somehow only now get diagnosed with depression, panic disorder, and schizoaffective PD
>haven't told my therapist any of these developments and I literally don't know how she doesn't know
>had two attempts within the last week alone
>cutting everyday again
>fuck
>tfw can't go higher on buproprion
>tfw it was the only one that helped
>>27506519
I just came back from the doctor
She gave me stronger sleeping pills(zopiclone) and xanax
I will go to the hospital tomorrow
How bad is xanax?
>>27507538
She said I am in a state where therapy won't help
My psychiatrist called her an idiot
>>27507656
I am also taking 100mg of Sertraline right now but it doesn't seem to help at all with my anxiety
Good that it worked with you tho
>go to mental ward involuntarily
>doctors are convinced I've lost it
>forced to take hydroxyzine, olanzapine, haloperidol and diphenhydram
>constantly bloated
>get out two weeks later
>quit medication instantly
There's no way I would live as a bloated fatty.
>>27509481
I was put on olanzapine in the hospital too. The doctor kept going on about how it's some next-level shit that the Swedes give out to everyone or something like that. I took it for a while afterwards, but I stopped once I was feeling a little better. The hospital gave me a script for like 90 pills of it, so I take them sometimes when I can't sleep or something. I kinda liked it, at least as far as I could like an anti-psychotic. It didn't leave me groggy all day like Risperidone did. The only issue I had with it was that it'd give me these weird fucking visions right before I went to bed. I'd like walk down the street to the store and buy some smokes, experiencing the entire walk and seeing everything in more or less its right place, only to open my eyes and realize it didn't happen. It was some trippy shit. I've read of other people having the same problems, since ironically olanzapine is a mild delirant. Didn't bother me too much though, I thought it was kinda cool.
Haloperidol, from what I've read, is a pretty shitty med. It was given out back in like the '60s or something, when we didn't have anything better. It's kinda a last resort now, when nothing else has worked, since it's got so many awful side effects. Doesn't sound like something I'd wanna take, but I've never been on it so I dunno.
The other two are just run of the mill anti-histamines. Psychs give those out for anxiety or insomnia sometimes, but they're not all that great.
If you're feeling better, you probably don't need any of that stuff. At least in America, docs will try to keep you on meds forever, but it's really not necessary.
I've been depressed for so long and taken so many quizzes/Psychology classes that psychologists don't believe me when I describe my symptoms because I sound like I'm just reading it from a website
>>27509358
Maybe you could ask for another stimulant, like Ritalin or something? It's worth a shot, but don't expect much success since all the harder stims are scheduled substances.
>>27509458
Be careful with zopiclone and xanax, they both can cause really nasty dependence. If you quit them cold turkey after being on them daily for a few months, you'll have a nasty withdrawal. Benzo withdrawal can be a real hell, many people say it can be the worst class of drugs to withdraw from. You can actually die if you have a really huge habit, but recreational users are mostly the ones at risk for that, not therapeutic users.
I dunno, just be aware of all that. Probably a bad idea to intend to take them long-term, since both those drugs are really meant to be short-term medications. If you keep it under control, benzos are pretty safe though.
>tfw doc won't give benzos
>>27510054
Doc also didn't want to give me benzos first
I tried a lot of meds and they all didn't work
Now she gave me benzos and I am kinda scared of using them
>>27510026
I won't use zopiclone or xanax daily
Only plan on using xanax when I have a panic attack and I will only take zopiclone when I have to get up early for now
Which is like once every two weeks
I am unsure what will happen to my meds in the hospital tho
>thought anxiety and depression was a mental illness
>came to the realization it wasn't and that I just needed to straighten up
The world doesn't revolve around you ya egocentric faggots.
>taking jew meds
>going to jew therapy
You normalfags make me fucking sick.I hope you all just cut yourself and die slow.
Depression and anxiety aren't mental illnesses on their own, just symptoms of your shitty way of living. You may not realize how fucked up your family truly is or how bad your life is in general. Once you change your environment, you'll get better without any drugs.
Schizophrenic and borderline pd here. I've been to the psych ward only once, which is how I found out. I'm on 60mg latuda and 150mg zoloft.
Depression and social anxiety here. I was in mirtazapine and now my doc put me on bupropion too. I feel kinda weird, like my brain is overclocked. I'm full of energy but still doesn't feel like I want to do something or that things are pleasurable again. I spend all this energy shitpostting on the internet. Also, it fucked up my sleep pattern that had took more than a year to fix.
>>27510340
Shouldn't taking Mirtazapine at the same time every day help you keep a regular sleeping schedule?
>>27510431
It was helping before I started taking bupropion. Before I had a hard time to start sleeping, now I just wake up too soon.
>>27506478
ive been calling offices sporadically because i need treatment/meds but all i ever get is voicemail boxes. i leave messages saying i worry i will kill myself soon and need to speak to a doctor but no one ever calls back. 3 weeks of this. what should i do before i just end it?
>>27506478
> new college student
> get diagnosed with manic depression
> can be on meds and feel like nothing
>or not be on meds and at least have some good days
> No win
>>27510531
Go there in person and tell them how urgent it is
It's probably best to go to your normal doctor first and then they will send you to a psychiatrist they trust
If you think you can't wait go to the ER
>>27510511
Did you ask your doctor to change your meds?
Do you do anything with the energy? Art or Sport?
it starts with a question,how much of this is real. Skepticism sets in and lessens your appeal, next you study conspiracy and delvop some theories and become weary of all your previous learned materials. Your tolerance for stupidity degrades, most your old friends are trapped in the maze. You narrow your aquaintance down to the few who can stand it but even they sometimes wonder what's going on in that head of yours. You study eastern and western philosophy psychology physics,you think a lot more and start to question existence. You wonder about your nervous systems limits and tamper with reality maps in a last hallucinagenics chemically induced who am I what I am I for ever all information breeds in the shallow dark halls of never. You can see where its leading you wish you were dreaming if the castle crumbles there's no one there to put it back together have felt yourself slip away when all abouts your sanity and how it decayed there's no place to run no place to hide you can't escape from inside and your losing your mind you try to think of when it started and ask yourself why but each thought completes the hot desert drive fear feeds the deranged to the inner eye with nothing left you find yourself falling into madness so you cry then you dive
>>27510610
I didn't ask, she did it by herself because I was in really down mood. I do nothing, just shitpostting all day. I have the energy, but not the will to do anything productive.
Hey guys, what is better, a male or female therapist?
>>27510762
The sex doesn't matter when you are comfortable with both sexes, but a lot of guys aren't as comfortable with women
>>27510707
Do you have anyone that could force you to go outside on a walk or something?
>>27510816
I don't, I live alone and have no friends nearby.
>>27510855
maybe you have to go to a hospital to fix this
Are you a neet?
>>27511130
wagecuck, my doc suggested go to the hospital, but I can't stop wagecuking.
>>27506478
Who here /exposure therapy/?
I've got OCD and have been making daily logs about my intrusive thoughts and compulsions for my psychologist so we can have a baseline for how bad it is before treatment starts. This Friday we're going to do the first imaginal exposure session. Does anyone have any idea what I'm in for? Any advice?
>>27511166
Don't know how to help you then
Sorry senpai
>be me
>be very good looking, 6"2 aryan
>a certain day i pretended to be sick at night so that i missed an important event
>go to hospital
>the place is okay but very empty and isolated, there's maybe six or seven people in there including employees
>they get me a bed
>i'm all alone in the room
>nurse arrives, she's a 9.5/10 blonde with titcow tits
>she says something about me taking medicine, I make up some excuse and refuse
>just get the water bag instead
>we start chatting about things, after a while comes in the subject that she doesn't have a partner at the moment
>I get aroused because can't stop staring at her tits
>after chatting for a good hour or so i joke if i can be her boyfriend
>we get out of the hospital to my car
>i drive to the woods and park in some isolated road
>we have sex in there for a few hours
>cum all over and creampie her
>go home in the morning
>sleep
>wake up regretting everything
Life is tough
>>27506478
>depressed as shit
>no friends
>barely go outside any more
>kissless virgin
>started talking to myself
>took some SSRI a year ago but made me feel like a zombie
>started therapy recently
>went ok man
i don't have mentally illness but i don't think i am normally thinking mentally
>>27506478
I have extreme social anxiety and hedgehog's dilemma. I actively avoid the people around me. I also have extreme BDD because of my vitiligo, dark circles, and acne.
>visit psychiatrist yesterday
>literally the only time I've left my house this year because my mom picks up my meds for me
>he comments on my pallid skin and my bulging eyes
>tell him to truth, say its because I'm near panic being around other people and because I think he wants to kill me
>he asks me about my feelings of insecurity and I tell him about my home defense knife and how I carry it around all the time because I'm afraid of black people
>he ups my medication antipsychotics even though they don't do anything
>ask him to increase my hydroxyzine because that one actually helps to curb my anxiety
>he says no because its known to cause memory lapses if taken in too high doses
>say I don't care and that I need it
>he cuts me off and asks if I stopped drinking like I said I would
>I tell him to truth, that I drink 11-15 vodka shots every day
>he tells me I should enter rehab because I have a drinking problem
>I get defensive and we argue for the rest of the session
>tfw drinking is literally the only thing I look forward to in life anymore
I've been diagnosed with just about everything in the book and I've been in the psych ward (or "behavioral health" as they like to call it nowadays) 3 times.
>>27513735
>I tell him about my home defense knife and how I carry it around all the time because I'm afraid of black people
Lol this better not be real.
>>27513771
Sadly, it is. I know its not rational (besides the fact that they commit most crime) but I'm afraid of a gang of black people breaking into my house and murdering me and my family. I'm afraid most people are going to murder me, but when I picture the killer in my head they're always black.
>>27513814
stop sipping on the /pol/ koolaid family
>24 years old NEET
>social anxiety from being bullied in school
>still posting on this shitty board
>sitting in the same position zoning in and out for ten hours
>>27513848
I don't even browse /pol/, I just tune in to the local news sometime. Its always a group of "youths" who beat a man into a coma jogging, or break into a house and rape/murder the occupants. I know what thats code for.
>>27513859
Have a hug anon.
I will be starting one of the old MAOIs soon. I hear there about as effective as ADs get, so I am hoping for some success.
>>27513908
Thanks, that actually helps a lot.
I'm actually doing relatively well for once. I spent a bit of time in a psychiatric hospital late last year and ended up on a new antidepressant. Well, new for me at least. I was originally on duloxetine, which obviously wasn't doing much for me, and I've been on nortriptyline for several months now. Doesn't do so much for my anxiety, but my depression seems to be relatively well-managed, all things considered. I am thinking of starting therapy though, because I am having trouble breaking the bad habits I formed before starting treatment.
>27
>Quit meds when I started wagekeking
>Self-medicate with DUDE WEED LMAO
>Therapist is starting to give up on me
>Hate myself and want to die everyday
>>27514036
I'm sorry to hear that. Where do you work? Maybe you could take up an interesting hobby.
>>27513964
That's nice to hear, I hope you continue to improve.
>>27513911
don't get your hopes up lol I tried two of those and they did't do shit (literally nothing, at all. no change, no side effects nothing.) PLus you have to avoid all these foods it's a hassle
anyway the best medication I found for depression is methadone. actually increases my mood!
Going to a doctor for the first time in forever. I hope he can point me in the right direction to feel more comfortable around close friends, family and acquaintances. At the moment it is nicer to talk with strangers.
Are there any therapies involving advanced social training? If I can't live like a normie I'll never be happy, tbqh.
>>27514061
I work in a waterpark at a resort.
I'm so depressed that nothing really interests me right now besides smoking weed, watching TV and collecting amiibos.
>>27514133
Maybe you could make friends with the person you buy weed from and go paintballing with them!
About to finish working in a psychiatry hospital, been there for 4 months. It's been pretty boring but it's shown you don't have to be super empathetic to every patient who comes in, sometimes (quite often actually) you have to be quite firm with them to get them to move on with their lives.
I've seen quite a few people who claim there depression was terrible and when I was new at the job they sounded convincing. I'd talk about the same people with my boss and he'd point out why they weren't nearly as bad as they thought they were and he was always right.
>>27514205
Can you give an example? I think my depression is really bad, but obviously I'm quite biased by having this fucked up brain the the first place.
>>27514102
I don't have high hopes. Did you get methadone on prescription?
>autistic
>NEET
>no friends
>no sexual attraction to adult women
just end it already i don't know what else to do anymore
>>27514205
Why weren't they as bad as they thought they were?
>>27514239
>>27514205
When depression hits you and hinders your everyday life(ie being a productive wage slave), it's indifferent what the cause is.
Avoidantfag here, i'm axious and scared as fuck even when I need to do simple groceries because I'll have to say a few words to the clerk
psych says I need a therapy but im too ashamed, im a 27 year old neet virgin, if I tell it to anyone they will just pretend i'm not disgusting but they will hate me deep down and propably fucking laugh at me behind my back
>>27514205
Also, was this an inpatient or outpatient facility?
>>27514239
There was a guy in his 50s who was admitted after he ended up having some argument with his partner (who was like 10years older than him) and he said he was feeling suicidal. Said he had been like that for several years, said he never went out and did anything, said he couldn't trust anyone and his family didn't understand he was unwell. In the past he was in a RTA which ended up killing two people and he never got counselling for it, and also when he first got married he eventually found out his kid (or one of his kids) wasn't his but still brought him up until he got divorced. Think he might have been prison when he was younger, not certain. He was more or less constantly in tears when he spoke to me.
Me and the boss saw him and he diagnosed with personality disorder traits and mild depression. I won't get into the PD diagnosis since that involves having to talk about loads of shit that happened in his life but when I asked why his depression was mild he said he's still eating and drinking, despite claiming he never does anything he still goes to pub (fair enough he didn't speak to anyone there but he still leaves the house) and he did have a partner for a long period of time before he tried to kick the shit out of her.
And a telling thing was that even though he said his family didn't get how depressed he was, my consultant pointed out that when people tell people who they know well (this is the important bit) who feel low to 'snap out of it' it's because they have seen them that way and get over it on there own. When we said we weren't going to treat his depression with meds his PD side came to the front and his low mood and all that wasn't an issue anymore.
Obviously depends on the case and that. We do take some risks sometimes, we often discharge people who say they are going to kill themselves as soon as they are going to leave. Of all of those cases I have seen like that none of them go through with it, I'm sure someone will though.
>>27507970
What are you diagnosed with? That sounds really fucked up
Anyone else get kicked out of bootcamp here? That was supposed to be my career.
>>27514368
also the only thing which has any effect on me is xanax
>>27514424
why did they kick you out?
fffuck
>>27514296
Various things for various patients. I saw another guy who was apparently so depressed that he was admitted for ECT. We felt he only had 'moderate' depression and managed him with meds. People are still not great at stratifying depression it seems (obviously neither am I but the guy I worked for was really good at it).
>>27514406
In-patient. I worked on the admission ward so when people were acutely unwell I saw them. If they were critically unwell they would go to psych ICU. The hospital had a forensic ward (basically psych for people with previous criminal history) but I never actually had any prison visits.
>>27514407
>when people tell people who they know well (this is the important bit) who feel low to 'snap out of it' it's because they have seen them that way and get over it on there own
So would the opposite of this be everyone you know telling you to get help but you minimizing the symptoms? Or am I missing the point?
>>27514407
Would you say that someone who has never had any friends, never had any romantic relationships, and as of speaking hasn't left home, or barely bed, for over four months, has an issue?
>>27514476
Was this in the UK?
bloxx
>>27514462
I always hid behind my rack and people were being jerks and telling on me. I was trying to slide through the hard part because I had a really good job (nuke) but I'm not really hardened enough to be in the military I guess. So I got diagnosed with three types of anxieties and depression by the doctor or whatever.
Then I went to this really depressing barracks called seps and I was surrounded by hardasses who were salty about being separated.
I'll be your friend bloxxxc
>>27514481
I wasn't very clear, when I said the important bit was people who know the patient well saying that. Normalfags will say that to anyone because they don't know any better, you can't listen to that advice because it doesn't mean anything.
>>27514494
Based only that sentence, possibly. I'd have to talk to you for a couple of hours and actually see you in person to make a decision though.
>never had any romantic relationships
If it makes you feel any better this also applies to me and I'm the junior psych doctor that these people see.
>>27514476
How bad are the worst possible depressions?
>>27514516
Yeah. Like I said, I'm only a very junior doctor and don't intend to do psych as a career (when I finish here on Monday I'll never do any psych work ever again) but it was a very interesting experience if not boring because the same shit keeps coming in. But every job is like that.
>>27514585
Why do you visit /r9k/, out of interest? You seem like a fairly high achiever.
>>27507970
Hallucinating bugs is a symptom of anticholinergic activity, were you taking DPH (Benadryl) or anything similar? Try supplementing with choline and see if that helps. You may even want to test out DMAE and piracetam since both increase acetylcholine.
>>27514585
Right, so if close family are telling you to get help then it's a good indicator that you should?
>>27506478
I got my dick sucked by a shemale I def regret it after I cum in her mouth, my parents say being gay is a mental illness I think it is but idc anymore maybe some day I will have sex
>>27514620
Depression at it's worst is when people stop eating, drinking, showering, even moving. When you get catatonic from depression you are getting to sort of life threatening stages. And obviously serious suicide attempts with regret of not carrying out the action and hopelessness are some of the other things. I had a chat with the medical director of the psych hospital I work in who is a very senior psychiatrist and we talked at length about suicide risk stratification which was really interesting.
>>27514680
I was on the board when it first existed and came back after it came back as well. No real reason, I don't think you necessarily need to be a loser to be here (but it feels that way after the board was brought back).
I might be seen as a high achiever but I'm still a guy who would prefer to stay at home and listen to music and read manga over anything else. If anything, I feel like the people who are actively trying to become like normalfags and the like make me feel like I don't belong here since I don't care about any of that.
>>27514905
I would think so, on the assumption that they know you the best. It's not quite the same for example if your older brother who you haven't spoken to for 10 years says that, but if your parents who you see every day or every other day since you were a kid say that then yeah.
It's a double edge sword sometimes because people aren't good at looking deeper into reasons why people say what they say. As soon as some people say "I want to kill myself" I see families break down in tears, then when other stuff comes out and we discharge them and they are still saying that we often get threats of complaints/getting sacked etc. It's understandable why people would be worried but trying to explain our stance usually falls on deaf ears.
Im a virgin but I have been fucked up the ass..
I realise this thread is about mental issues but lemme post my physical one
>had a lump at the top of my crack for like two or three months
>wasn't causing issues so I didn't do anything about it (yes I realise this was dumb of me, but my generally good health otherwise made me be a dumb motherfucker)
>it was a pilonidal sinus, apparently some kind of infected ingrowing hair in the crack area
>procedure to remove it is to quite literally cut it out and then have the area slowly recover
>because I left it for so long the amount of removed flesh is actually pretty fucking huge, like 1.5 - 2 inches
>I basically need to go for regular ass checks every single day now
I feel like a living poopoo pepe
>>27514961
your parents fucking suck. just like mine...
I'm on abilify, lexapro, welbutrin. I was on lithium but it made me too tired so I stopped it.
Had to quit drinking because of this shit. Just fucking kill me.
>>27514986
You will probably be unable to answer this, but why can I not stop thinking of suicide, despite the fact that I don't think I'll actually do it?
>>27514986
> I had a chat with the medical director of the psych hospital I work in who is a very senior psychiatrist and we talked at length about suicide risk stratification which was really interesting.
I would be very interested to hear a distillation of that discussion, if you wouldn't mind?
>>27514986
I know someone who once had catatonic depression, ECT managed to bring her out of it.
How much do we know about the causes of depression?
>>27514265
yeah I had a morphine addiction though
to all the people in this thread depressed and anxious in my own experience I tried around 15 (not exaggerating) different meds, and then as a last resort, and after taking and getting addicted to morphine for depression I went on bupenorphine but it was too weak so I switched to methadone and my life has never been better no shit. I' not high or anything in fact I can't even tell I'm on a drug really, when i firsted started I got high as fuck for about a month but it fades and I'm just left with this far more optimistic outlook on life, and I enjoy things now, and look forward to the future
it's been great I couldn't reccomend it more. Even since I've started methadone (I take 95mg a day) I've come off ALL my other meds. I was taking venlafaxine+mirtazipine+propanalol+diazepam but I literally have no need for them anymore (plus they were doing shit but making me fat)
Took me like since 18 (24 now) to actualy find something that worked but it's been going really well.
Look into it guys it could help you. Plus they drug test you and make you take antabuse (at least in my countr) which is actually a ood thing. looking back all the drug use never really fixed anything it was just a temporary increase in mood and then it would be worse after (especially with alcohol, makes your anxiety waaay orse)
you need a solution
>>27515220
Well, if they aren't working you may as well stop them.
>>27515458
My doctor wouldn't even consider giving me a mild stimulant (modafinil) to help with my extreme lethargy. There's no way on this Earth he would consider giving me an opiate.
>>27515305
You absolutely cannot take this as a diagnosis because I know nothing about you and don't intend to get into it now, or ever, but the people I see who can't stop thinking about suicide but never go through with it are usually people with emotionally unstable personality disorder/borderline personality disorder. It's a diagnosis I see frequently and it's very challenging to work with but manageable at times.
>>27515349
This might get a tiny bit abstract and I couldn't find the paper the guy wrote about this but here it goes. If you imagine a veen diagram of suicide, there's one circle which are people who succesfully commit suicide and one circle where people unsuccesfully commit suicide intersecting. At the intersection you have essential two groups of patients: people who have 'succesfully committed suicide' but are still alive or 'unsuccesfully committed suicide' but are now dead.
That last bit is odd but what it means is there are people who go to attempt suicide as more of an attention seeking type of behaviour without any intention of dying but then end up dying. Conversely there are people who put all their effort into sincerely killing themselves (ie. keeping it a secret, making suicide notes, sorting out finances, doing it in a way which they think will work, doing it so they won't get found out etc.) but who end up surviving. This latter group is, as expected, the highest risk and people we need to be most wary of. For example we had a lady with EUPD who keeps coming in because when she is seen the community she keeps saying she is going to kill herself and can't not think about it. When she gets admitted these thoughts remain but she doesn't engage with treatment so we discharge her and she doesn't actually ever do anything, even though we have seen she has a noose tied in her house ready to go. If she did take her own life, she'd fall into the 'unsuccesfully committed suicide but dead' group.
Comment too long, continued.
>>27515555
>emotionally unstable personality disorder/borderline personality disorder
That's interesting, I admit I've never even heard of the former. My psychiatrist is absolutely convinced I'm on the autistic spectrum, I'm rather sceptical of that myself, but he often seems unwilling to listen to objections.
>>27515555
Continued.
So part of the risk assessment for suicidality is to ask those questions for the high risk groups. One of the problems with admission to psych hospitals in UK is that lack of funding for community services aside, in an attempt to 'streamline' assessments for people in A&E to help shift patients breaching the 4 hour A&E target, people (not necessarily doctors but sometimes) base their whole risk on one or two questions, one of these being "do you think you can keep yourself safe at home" to which people will say no and end up admitted without being needed to (it was the guy I worked with who said this, the medical director didn't go into it).
And interesting thing that the medical director did point out is that one aspect of assessing risk is looking at time of attempt. People who go on to succesfully commit suicide make their attempt at any time during the day, early hours is more likely as their sleep is none existant so they are awake when everyone else is asleep and therefore less likely to be found. PD patients or 'attention seeking' attempts tend to occur around midnight. The reason being is that during the day the person keeps themselves busy, around night time they usually are at home, have a couple of drinks, get into an argument with someone about something and then make an impulsive suicide attempt around midnight. So they can fall into low risk patients depending on their answers to other things.
We don't really assess suicide risk well based on my experience. I want to be a surgeon in the future but after working under my current boss I have picked up skills to assess suicide risk pretty well, so it's not exactly hard. Must be time consuming though.
>>27515553
just get addicted to opiates and go to a methadone clinic
it's really not that hard. just exageratte if you want. cwe codeine pills which will piss positive for morphine and say you take like 80mg of morphine per day
you gotta put some effort in
>>27515374
Catatonic depression is one of the main indiciations (possible the main one) for ECT.
I don't think anyone can say they know what causes depression. The dopamine theory was a big thing a while ago but it's very complicated an involves a lot of odd negative and positive feedback mechanims which are far more complicated in the proposed theory than any other disease. The medical director of my psych hospital basically said nothing in the human body is that complicated and we know the dopamine theory doesn't work the way it should (I'd expand but I don't know it in detail myself) so he thinks it's unlikely. According to him the new theories are about neuroplasticity and depression but I'd be lying if I said I knew anything about it. Still not a well researched field.
>>27515625
They are the same thing.
The consultant I work for is almost certain I have Asperger's (I know I don't) but that I can function well because med school forced it into me. It started off as a bit of a joke but he says he's sure of it now and it doesn't sound like he's taking the piss anymore. He's a great boss though, will definitely miss working with him, he's an excellent diagnostician in particular.
>>27515555
>>27515710
That was really interesting, thank you. Are there those who might, on a rational level, think their lives are not worth living (or bad for others) but lack the courage to act upon the realisation?
>attempt suicide
>hospitalized against will with the suicidal / homcidal
>roommate killed her sister
>diagnosed with PTSD and chronic depression
>get out of hellhole
>sexually assaulted
>attempt suicide again
>back at the nut house
>get out
>see therapist
>she drops me
>ok
>>27515798
Ah, sorry, poor reading comprehension on my part, I suppose.
>>27514415
Schizoaffective disorder, bipolar type.
>>27514765
No, wasn't on any drugs. I'm really sensitive to anti-histamines like that though. Can't take even one pill of Benadryl or anything similar because it makes me start tripping balls. So maybe my acetylcholine levels are abnormally low or something, I dunno. I'll copy and paste those supplements into a text file and maybe try them in the future, right now I don't have much money.
>>27515798
People with Asperger's often have very poor coordination, so I imagine you're fine in that department, at least, if you wish to become a surgeon.
>>27515458
saying you use drugs immediately gets you blacklisted from ever being prescribed anything scheduled again. also insurance will fuck with you too
good luck if you ever have back pain or some shit
i have to take stimulants for ADHD
ive tried bupe and honestly i think that does have antidepressant potential. i woke up and felt normal entirely but theres no way ill ever be put on that unfortunately
i started getting drug tested regularly for my adhd script for telling a doctor i smoked weed a little bit like 8 years prior
>>27515798
How do I get my GP to put me on something?
I'm going through a period of constant/daily thoughts about suicide. Recreational drugs don't help anymore and I've been drinking alcohol every day for months now.
I'm hardly moping around but I'm getting sad about shit that happened in my childhood and constantly thinking of how to end my life.
>>27515813
No worries. There probably is but they don't come to attention of mental health services since they don't have any risky behaviour. An important thing I have been told and learned about on this job is that we can't stop suicide. Short of having someone watching you 24/7, if you are hell bent on killing yourself then you will find a way to do it. The aim of the mental health service isn't to stop the patient from committing suicide, it's to hopefully help the patient either finding a way to cope with their feelings of managing them so suicide is not a risk to them.
>>27515832
>she drops me
There is usually a reason for this if it happens, I hope. When our therapists have to reduce contact with patients it's because they get overly dependent on them and start losing the ability to function independently. It's one of the reason why psychotherapy is so difficult, it constantly tows the line of getting patients help they might need but putting them in a place where they can easily access someone in times of crisis which isn't a natural set up.
I'm not saying that's what happened to you, just pointing out that is sometimes what happens.
>>27516036
Yeah when I've assisted in surgery no one has had any concerns. I had forced myself to play rugby and tennis at one point and was co-ordinated enough to do that. I can;t remember the exact link between ASD and Dyspraxia but it does exist.
>>27516073
Recreational drugs and alcohol will make you worse, this is evidence based but it's a coping mechanism people are quick to use but try not to if possible, I'm aware just sitting here saying that won't change a lot but still. It will depend on what you tell your GP and also how confident they are at managing mental health issues. Talk honestly about your feelings and see what their response is, they might recommend you see a Psychiatrist in a community setting and they might consider things. There's no real phrase which will make someone start you on meds, everything has to be taken into consideration together (which in a 10min GP appt. is almost impossible).
>>27516021
>Can't take even one pill of Benadryl or anything similar because it makes me start tripping balls.
You definitely have low acetylcholine in that case. I'm obviously not a doctor but definitely try to buy a $5 bottle of choline (and a $5 bottle of B100 complex if you can spring for it) and they should help you a great deal. I'm guessing you also have brain fog and lethargy since those are symptoms as well.
Honestly though, I have absolutely no idea what the cause of that would be, maybe it's a vitamin deficiency or a gene issue, who knows.
>>27515832
Damn, when I read shit like this, I really think I don't belong here even though I'm seriously depressed in waves of about 2 weeks at a time, and really self-loathe and want to kill myself during that time.
>>27516273
I'm sorry about this, I know you're being bombarded with questions, please feel free to ignore. Do you know much about the efficacy of MAOIs for relatively mild, but chronic, depression? I was recently given a prescription by my psychiatrist for tranylcypromine.
>>27516286
Okay, I'll see if I can get my sister to throw me a few bucks. She's like one of those supplement junkie types, so I think she'd be on board. Yeah, my brain is very foggy a lot of the time and I find it really hard to get anything done. It hurts my relationships because I'll just go silent for long periods and not know what to say.
>>27506478
>be me
>always been depressed
>insomnia, constant might terrors, can't remind of a night without a nightmare
>discover about weed
>get slightly relaxed
>move to China for three years as part of an exchange program
>can't speak fucking Chinese
>meet some guy, another foreigner there
>turns out he's abusive, punched me several times, broke my rib
>we split up
>get depressed, drunk, high every day
>can't take mind off depression
>mfw I can't even get any therapy because no one speaks English there
>mfw can't talk about it to parents or I would have to leave the program and fail my engineering degree
>mfw to this day, 3 years later, my rib is still painful and no one knows why
>>27516380
>tranylcypromine
Is this something you were prescribed in UK? I have never even heard of that or seen it prescribed here.
I'm sure MAOIs are out of favour in terms of treating depression as far as first line drugs go (which is more SSRI/SNRI/NaSSa). They tend to be better for atypical depression but far as actual efficacy goes, can't tell you without looking it up myself.
I just want pills to feel normal again. I don't want therapy and I don't want to be sectioned.
>>27516542
I am in the UK. I've tried a great deal of medication, and psychotherapy, to little avail.
>>27516408
>It hurts my relationships because I'll just go silent for long periods and not know what to say.
God damn that hits way too close to home, I know that feel all too well robro. After breakfast take the B100 and choline together, certain b vitamins aid the conversion of choline. If she's a supp junkie though she might already have the two, in which you'd definitely want to test them out first before buying. Personally choline gives me a light headache but that happens with certain supps for me (like l-dopa, tyrosine, etc.) But since you're deficient it should have a positive effect.
>>27516594
It's likely beyond the scope of what I know then.
I say likely but it's definitely beyond the scope of what I know.
Anybody here with schizofrenia? How did it start?
>>27516380
MAOIs are excellent, it's a shame they're so rarely prescribed. SSRIs are barely more effective than a placebo, yet MAOIs which help depression dramatically are avoided like the plague by doctors.
Granted, they do have some decent reasoning for that. Basically, you have to be very careful not to combine the MAOI with any other drugs/meds, like say if you were to take an MAOI with mdma you'd pretty much be dead or at least severely fucked by serotonin syndrome. Then again, SSRIs have some bad side effects and nightmare withdrawal symptoms but doctors like to downplay those.
>>27516632
That's fine.
What is this atypical depression you mentioned?My doctor has never mentioned any such thing. Is it associated with extreme tiredness?
>>27516273
Thanks.
I was never a frequent user of drugs (mostly once every couple months) they used to leave me glowing and bouncing for weeks after but that stopped a long while ago.
The booze kept up on me out of a boredom issue. I just can't seem to cope in a social situation without it, I had stopped for 3 days then attended a work function and after about an hour was thoroughly sick of orange juice and gave in and descended into drunken mess.
I just need something to help me transition out of this rut. Will chat to the GP.
>>27516682
SSRIs often lead to significant sexual dysfunction, too. Although, I suppose that's of little concern to someone who is clinically depressed.
>>27516791
Take phenibut instead of alcohol, it has the same effect on GABA but without the toxicity. Your liver will thank you.
>>27516868
Tried it and didn't realise notice much of an effect.
>>27516682
I thought the side effect profile and the Tyramine reaction amongst others was one of the reasons MAOIs fell out of favour with psychiatrists.
>>27516685
Depression is usually diagnosed looking at core symptoms and associated symptoms based on ICD/DSM criteria. Atypical depression is depression which fits in with other criteria of symptoms that standard depression doesn't fit into.
For example an associated symptom of depression is weight loss, atypical depression may have weight gain. It's complicated, as is everything in psych.
>>27516809
They can comment that it's one of the more irritating side effects of their medication though.
>>27516791
>Will chat to the GP.
See how it goes m8. But don't go in expecting them to say one thing or another or give meds etc. Listen to their opinion and see if they think seeing a psychiatrist might help.
i have IED and im afraid I'm going to lash out at the wrong person on the wrong day and either get killed or go to prison
>>27516974
According to the wiki these are the DSM-IV criteria for atypical depression:
Mood reactivity (i.e., mood brightens in response to actual or potential positive events)
At least two of the following:
Significant weight gain or increase in appetite;
Hypersomnia (sleeping too much, as opposed to the insomnia present in melancholic depression);
Leaden paralysis (i.e., heavy, leaden feelings in arms or legs);
Long-standing pattern of interpersonal rejection sensitivity (not limited to episodes of mood disturbance) that results in significant social or occupational impairment.
I meet every criterion, I'm surprised this has never been mentioned to me before.
>>27516655
I've got schizoaffective, which is similar. It's been kinda there in the background my whole life, but it gradually got worse until I had my first full-blown psychotic episode. It's pretty common for schizos to have a lot of social issues before their other symptoms show up. Lots are diagnosed with autism at first. As a kid I was kinda a social butterfly or whatever, but ever since I went through puberty I was pretty withdrawn. Usually I wouldn't talk to anybody unless you directly asked me a question. I would also get some mild hallucinations here and there, both visual and auditory, starting back in middle school or so.
>>27507648
It's probably better for your health that you do the talking, and a decent doctor should be able to understand what you're trying to say; it's their job
>>27517114
When do psychotic symptoms usually manifest?
>>27517209
Can start at any age, especially if you've had a rough adolescence, but usually it begins around young adulthood. Say, between 17-24 or so.
>>27517289
Hmm, not out of the clear yet then, it would appear.
>>27517062
Well ain't that something. See, only takes 4 months to get good at a medical job.
If you do still regularly see a doctor or psychiatrist bring it up with them and see what they think about it. They might have considered it and thought otherwise for some reason.
Can't tell you how we manage it though since I don't see it often.
>>27517404
Might be more of an outpatient thing, I suppose.
>>27517447
True.
But then again personality disorders should be managed as out-patient but I think about 60% of all patients I have seen at work are PD. They are only meant to stay in 72hours according to research but they often stay longer. Have one which has been here for a year and a half.
>>27517327
If you're afraid that you're at risk you should try to find healthy outlets for stress, take care of yourself, and stay away from any drugs. Those are the biggest triggers. My first episode happened when I was nearly homeless. I was so distressed and worried that I'd stay up for days and days, thinking really panicked thoughts, and I wasn't eating very much. My doc pulled me off both my medications and that just threw me over the wall. I started thinking I was like the Messiah and I wandered along the highway until I got caught by some state troopers. They drove me straight to the loony bin.
>>27516059
>ive tried bupe and honestly i think that does have antidepressant potential. i woke up and felt normal entirely but theres no way ill ever be put on that unfortunately
Yeah bube is literally used for 'treatment-resistant' depression in some places.
That sucks wit the blacklisting and insurance and shit I don't come from the states so it's a lot better here.
But I think in terms of getting prescribed scheduled medication it's not really a big deal. Like what would you even want? Nothing they have is really that great. I think it's definitely worth the trade off, and besides methadone IS an opiate in itself, so if you're just trying to get recreational drugs from the doctor methadone is one of the best things they can give anyway,
If bupe made you feel normal then I don't see why you've just given up. There's always a way to get the right medications, especially if you have depression you know, it's fucking awful, so just do what you have to to get the thing that's helped you.
ALL opiates have antidepressant effects. At least tha's what I found. They worked better than any of the shit they pass of as 'antidepressants'. The drugs they give you literally do jack shit. You can't even feel them doing anything. They have no psychological effects, or when they do it's negative like increased anxiety, feeling on edge, hallucinations.
A big part of me just wants to scream it from the rooftops. I struggled with not enjoying my life and suffering all the time for a long time, probably around 8 years. My life just got destroyed by it, and anything that gave relief was a godsend. So when I discovered opiates and how they didn't just drug you, they actually made me feel optimistic about my future, happy to be alive, my body wouldn't feel so achy and just burdensome, alll these other positive effects I was just like holy shit, why didn't I do this earlier?
Just fake an opiate addiction if yo can't get it
>>27517929
stimulants (all besides adderall) are really useful to me to make that gamble also with the retarded draconian laws here they would probably force you off really quickly and wouldnt allow you to stay on it indefinitely. theyd also probably force you to pay for your own drug tests
>>27509917
That's interesting, thanks for letting me know. I didn't read about the medications much, but yeah they had me on last resort medication basically because they couldn't figure out what was wrong.
I was committed involuntarily after suffering from a potassium issue unknowingly which was causing delirium, confusion, delusions and hallucinations (I kept calling 911 and begging for help but doctors couldn't find any issues). They mistook it for schizophrenia for two weeks. After I started complaining of chest pains, they finally stooped down and gave me potassium. I quit taking because there was obviously nothing wrong besides that. I feel normal now.
I still have the medication around, maybe I should try some olanzapine.
>>27507648
dude, having someone else do the talking is the worst thing, especially when it's about mental health. no one but yourself can describe what you're feeling.
>>27516073
you should tell your loved ones how you're feeling
you don't realize it when you're depressed, but you're actually extremely ill. think if it like you have a life-threatening mental illness.
Talk to your gp, your parents, basically anyone who will listen. The antidepressant they script seem to help a fair amount of people. BUt there's always new therapies to try and drugs if the one they give doesn't work so don't lose hope and think you're never going to get better. that's how people end up killing yourself
also, the alcohol is probably making it worse. I can't know your situation entirely, but at least in terms of my own experience, I found that alcohol would make me less depressed hell even happy for a few hours, and my anxiety would fade away. But the next morning and day, your anxiety levels will be increased. And so you just end up drinking the next night because you mistake your increased anxiety for just how you are normally, you just think that is how my life is, when in reality it's from getting drunk the last night.
It took me about 3 weeks just to finally get back to some semblance of how I really am when 'sober'. that's just how powerful alcohol is, and the effect it has on your mood and anxiety. We have this notion that you get drunk and then sleep and then the next you're back to normal or possibly have a hangover but you'll soon be back to normal within the end of the day. But that's not true at all. Alcohol has MASSIVE residual effects. It increases my own anxiety for about 3-4 days afterwards (from getting drunk). It pains your body, aches, you have less energy and vitality you're mentally slower, you have less concentration and you're tired from the fucked up sleep/rest you're getting. It really fucks with you.
But if you're reguarly drinking you just don't notice it. Because the residual effects you don't realize it's from the alcohol you just end up thinking that you have high anxiety naturally when it's just from the alcohol
>>27517654
Personality disorders can get serious enough for in-patient. BPD in particular can get pretty dangerous. I have a fellow robot friend with it and he's gotten full-blown psychotic episodes, with hallucinations and everything.
Also, I've read that atypical depression is best treated by MAOIs, more so than the other typical anti-depressants. My guess is that it's because MAOIs are kinda stimulants, since they raise levels of dopamine and norepinephrine just like normal stims do.
As an aside, do you know anything about the therapeutic utility of cigarettes? I find it interesting that the mentally ill smoke a lot more than the rest of the population. During my two stints in the hospital, pretty much everyone was a smoker and we'd always be talking about how much we wanted to have a cig. Something like 80% of schizos smoke and there are pretty high rates for patients with depression and bipolar too. I wonder if it's got something to do with the MAOIs that are in tobacco.
