I have a job interview for a $45k job, my dad is pushing me towards. I figure if I'm going to work in life, I need some pleasures to buy. I'll never win a girl the Darwinian way, so maybe I can buy one the capitalist way.
I had been thinking of seeing an escort since 2008, but was too worried. But I went through an agency and it was very easy. $160 plus $20 tip. Considering the cost it would take me to 'earn' a girl for free it was a bargain.
I was expecting a Romanian Eastern European type. But she had no accent. All-American. She could have billed herself as a WASP coed. Shes been here for 15 years. Shes studying journalism this is her final year. She has real jobs and internships. So shes more like a Sugar Baby than an escort.
She stripped right away. Which was probably a mistake. I should have stretched out the undies stripping, since its my fetish. So she tries giving me a handjob and blowjob, but nothing works. I go into her vagina sem-hard. Pounding away several times. Finally I just have her dance for me in my panties and fap with my IRON GRIP HAND. I was cucked by my own hand. My hand can get me off, but vagina, mouth and weak female hands can't.
Once I've proven I can cum to an iron grip, I want another chance in my 10 min left. But she says it wont work. She tried. My dick is just too soft and bent. So I hang out with her in her panties a little longer. Then I make some excuse about how its my 1st time visting, and maybe I'd be better. She said yeah maybe you were just nervous. I slink out in defeat.
I've always been metaphorically impotent as in powerless, now I know I'm literally impotent as in sexually.
Does this even count as 'sex', sticking my dick into her mouth and vagina without cumming?
>>27493105
She had curly dirty blonde/ light brunette hair so Jessica Spano is the closest I could think of her.
Oh well at least this relieves me of the regret of my years of inceldom. If I had actually attracted a girl, dated her, and had my big moment. It would have just been me shoving my limp soft dick into her pussy. While she pities me. With an escort I call it a negative learning experience. With a crush I loved, this would have been an emotional trauma that defined my life.
As it is, I have nothing going for me socially, and these Escorts was supposed to be what gave me meaning in life. But I'm not even capable of sex. I can't complain about the setup. It was as good as I imagine sex with my crush would be. She was a beautiful All-American curly coed sugarbaby. My dick just can't do it. I still gave her a $20 tip, it wasn't her fault, and she really did try to get me hard.
But if this was my last stop before suicide, it would just confirm this life is shit. Unless I want to keep practicing sex until I GET good at it. But if your dick can't get hard in a vagina, how do you advance from that?
I never have this problem lol. Damn I am pretty fucking awesome.
>>27493601
What do you do to get hard?
>>27493608
I am just a high test alpha male I guess.
>>27493638
Was it a free or paid girl?
>>27493680
Nothing is free my friend.
>>27493563
I was cucked by my own irongrip hand. I fap on the mattress with all my weight on my dick. Been doing it since age 4. r9k warned me many times it would give me ED, since no pussy would ever be as tight. I didn't disagree with r9k, but I figured why should I care? I'm a doomed incel permavirgin anyway. So if its better than pussy so much the better.
Of course my HAND can get me off. But not pussy or weak girly hands. My hand really is my only sexual partner now.
>>27493105
Next time you need to stop fapping for at least 3 days before.
>>27493846
I've done NOfap since the Friday. But IDK if that was the problem. Since plenty of cum came out after she danced for me in her thong, and then I fapped myself. She had to clean me up.
>>27493105
good job, anon.. yeah it still counts as sex
theres one thing i dont get tho. why the hell would you keep fapping after you got hard instead of going to poontown
but yeah, you were likely just nervous. try it again some other time. also, how was her body
And these "blowjobs" that Normies go on and on again. It was just a wet ticklish tongue on my dick slurping. Reminded me of when my pet dog licks my feet. Didn't get WTF the big deal was about. But then again I can't even get hard.
>>27493105
Perhaps you're gay OP or see doctor for erectile dysfunction
I had almost exactly the same experience anon. I would like to believe that it is just death grip syndrome, being under stress, doing it the first time, not actually building up to it with foreplay, an escort having a loose vagina, etc etc. I think it is normal and would not be a problem with an actually girlfriend if that ever happens.
>>27494024
I went to a stripclub 7 months ago, and also reported back to r9k that I was underwhelmed and never even popped a boner. I said it was no better than porn.
Someone replied
>it worse than porn desu if you never got a boner
The stripclub was a foretaste of this.
>>27494130
Seeing as how you can get actual sex for $100; I thought only an idiot would pay $25 for 3 minutes of a stripper dancing in her thong, no contact. But seeing as how thats what my $180 escort experience ended up being. Some panties dancing. I could have Spitzer's $5000 an hour Escort it would be the same thing. Might as well stick with 3 mins of thong lap dancing, since its all I can handle.
>>27494229
>He fell for the sex meme
OP you fool! Sex is only pleasurable when you feel attraction to the person or when you feel love.
If you try to fuck a whore and you're all nerved up, of course your going to have a bad time.
>yfw you will never know what sex with a willing loving partner feels like.
>>27494258
>>yfw you will never know what sex with a willing loving partner feels like.
It turns out my true love was in front of me all these years- my hand. When I tried to betray her, I cucked myself.
>>27494229
At least imho, as a dateless, friendless, virgin incel whose never done anything beyond 1 trip to a stripclub, I acted relatively natural all things considered. Had her kiss my penis to do the cop check. Made some casual convo about her background. Got naked, right into the sex. It just all broke down, because I couldn't get that dick hard. Even with my best fetish fantasies being projected onto her. And a beautiful curly coed right in front of me, me touching her all over. Breasts are lot softer, fluffier and lighter than I imagined. I always thought they'd be thicker, heavier, denser, fatter.
>>27493105
were you drunk? this happened to me the first time I hired a prostitute and it was because of the alcohol
I had her come over the next day and I could get hard because I didnt drink
>>27494521
No, I hadn't eaten anything all day though. I mean my hand got me off, so she just didn't have enough pressure
>>27493105
In some ways its a relief knowing I'm impotent. All these years of chasing Stacies, and had all went well it would have just lead to this humiliation. This is what I was seeking all along. Its like Bad Luck Brian made a wish to have penis in vagina and had it granted by a trickster Genie monkey hand.
>>27493105
Is whatever the fuck this was considered "sex"?
>>27495014
I already knew there was no chance of attracting real girls. Spending my salary on escorts was the one pleasure left in my life, before suicide. But now I know that would entail shoving my limp wormdick at em and hoping something happens. If this was an experiment on whether life could be worth living, I got an overwhelming answer back.
Modern women dress and act in a way that makes it impossible to a guy not to come back home from school and masturbate to release all that pent-up desire.
On a daily basis, men have to suppress their most basic and primitive urge and act in a completely unnatural manner because they have an obligation to act professional with their female coworkers.
and then at the flip of a switch, they are supposed to regain all of that mojo back for a date after work or with their wives.
Equality of the sexes is great for the economy but it's at the expense of our sexual health. You didn't feel anything during that blowjob because you were holding back...you were holding your breath and trying not to become aroused. All of that is unconscious but it's the result of all the unnatural expectations that are placed on us males.
Male sexuality is not a switch you can turn on and off...it doesnt work that way.
fuck this life
>>27495131
>you were holding your breath and trying not to become aroused. All of that is unconscious but it's the result of all the unnatural expectations that are placed on us males.
Or I've become too aroused and de-sensitized by porn and fapping
Maybe it is easier to fap to my exquisite HD fantasies in the privacy of my room, instead of having to navigate a real flesh human being
this thread is trauma
>>27495324
They call prone masturbation- traumatic masturbation, and they were right.
>>27495257
No...there is a lot about sexuality that is unknown or not talked about.
I've been desensitized to all the women I've been with...hot or average looking...didn't matter...
All the time I had sex because, it was now an appropriate time and socially acceptable time to have sex. We get drunk at a bar, we go back to my appartment...it's socially appropriate. It's sunday morning...it's the appropriate time with a girlfriend.
Basically, whenever you come face to face with a woman you are attracted to...psychologically you have to mentally hold yourself back from reaching down her pants and touching her vagina and start to fondle her...etc
I think that when that happens, there is a part of you that is blocked forever for that woman.
I once had a spur of the moment sex...(not like in hollywood movies...thats bs...it wasnt choreographed.) and I didn't know her and it felt right for her and me and it felt right RIGHT NOW.
Sex was like a million times different than with all the other women I had been with. The difference was not that she was all that different from other women but that we both went for it when we felt like it and we didn't supress or hold back.
Of course those type of situations happen once or never in a lifetime.
society has ruined sex. its not your fault
Great on top of being NEET and incel, I'm also a 27 year old with erectile dysfunction. None of this is independent, its all interrelated. It all gets back to being an inferior male. And you can use capitalism to cheat Darwinism, and get the babe. But that wont change my dick. The failure lies with me. All these years girls were insintively sniffing out how terrible sex with me would be. Not only can't I give them pleasure, I can't even give myself pleasure.
>>27493730
are you a handophile?
>>27495481
r9k warned me I was ruining my dick, with my heavy pressure fapping. Either with iron grip hands or by humping my bed prone. I didn't disagree with em. I just figured it wouldn't matter since I'm a doomed permavirgin.
But yeah at this point, my hand is the only thing that can get me off. Not her hands, not her vagina, not her mouth.
>>27495496
stop masturbating mentally (and physically) and get yourself a fleshlight. stop fucking touching your dick with your incelhands and only thrust your fleshlight, this way youll get rid of your DGS.
(i honestly cant believe how some of you are even able to breathe and shit on your own)
>>27495435
you're wrong...
go to oldje.com
It's a site with young teens with 70year old guys.
I'm very good at reading emotions and while quite a few of the girls are disgusted, surprisingly a lot of them give a way better and more convincing performance then when they fuck with normal male pornstars.
I think I know why...
They don't feel pressure...they don't feel stressed by beeing in the presence of a large male that is young and good looking. They can just let themselves go and feel relax with these old guys.
Don't beat yourself over it. Looks are not the end all be all. Trust me on that last one.
>>27495585
It might not be just looks alone, its a whole network of factors that just conclude in me being impotent in every way possible, both metaphorically and literally.
The experience itself isn't so traumatic for me, since it was just an Escort. If It had been a crush it would have destroyed my life. But it was educational. It does provide me feedback on who I'm as a man, and what I'm sexually capable of. And answer some of the what ifs if I had actually dated and """fucked""" girls.
>>27495630
This was the plotline to "Law & Order" American Jihad
A Feminist professor is murdered by an American Islam convert. And they interview her intern.
And she says she had sex "if you can call it that" with the Incel Jihadist. He goes into a rage "I'm a MAN and she laughed at me".
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NLnHvkXqXXQ
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0629156/
http://lawandorder.wikia.com/wiki/American_Jihad
Olivet: My guess is he is terrified of women. Militant Islam eases that anxiety by making women subordinate.
McCoy: Landon became a slave of Allah because he couldn't get a date?
>>27495716
OP's life at 39min mark
http://www.watchseries.li/link/novamov.com/3099078
>>27493105
OP your problem is the death grip.
I had a similar problem at first but then I stopped using the death grip and a month later I was able to fuck without problems.
After that the problem came back but this time it was a psychological issue. I was too nervous but then I read some guides on the internet and you just basically have to think "I really wanna fuck this girl" inside your mind
>>27495828
Does the fact that my hand can get me hard and cum proves its not erectile dysfunction?
OP, it's not your fault. 3/4ths of the nerve endings on your penis were sliced off with a scalpel when you were an infant.
>>27493105
Now I don't even know if I'm a virgin or not
>>27495864
Probably yeah. Just don't squeeze it so hard when you fap and when you're with a girl you should try to think about how good it feels to fuck instead of thinking that you need to get it hard as soon as possible. It becomes a self fulfilling fear if you start thinking that you need to get it hard fast and will only make you more nervous
So much for the escort option...
Start getting into Femdom fantasies and this could be your sexlife
>>27493105
IDK wtf my ultimate verdict on this is. Yeah this was a shitty experience because of the ED. But as far as the actual sex act goes; it was like having real sex with an All-American girl next door coed. And of course I could have went ED with my crush too.
If it is caused my my death grip fapping, then maybe I should start slow with strippers and handjobs, eventually work my way up to vagina fucking. I thought strippers were a ripoff relative to sex. But at this point the best sex, I can get is 4 minutes of thong dancing anyhow.
If I don't care about sex with escorts, then idk why I ever cared about being incel, because this is just as good as STACY.
>>27496602
NOW I've kind had sex. Even with no cumming, my semi-erect dick was shoved into her pussy and mouth. That is "sex". Yet it hasn't changed my life at all. THE lack of cumming made it worse, but it wasn't just that. I guess sex really isn't such a big deal. I also got to feel up breasts and stroke her shaved pubes. It really isn't much different from my stripper experience. Which was also notable by my lack of boner.
>>27493105
Of course it counts as sex. I mean your penis was literally in her vagina. Congrats on losing your virginity. Now take a few months off fapping and go back.
>>27496643
Don't be discouraged, when I had sex the first few times I wasn't able to get hard or if I did I'd ejaculate in 30 seconds.
It gets better after that, maybe try kissing her first or that undie stretching fetish thing.
From my experiences, jumping straight into genital stimulation doesn't help getting hard if you're completely limp.
>>27496820
>Don't be discouraged, when I had sex the first few times I wasn't able to get hard or if I did I'd ejaculate in 30 seconds.
I was expecting premature ejaculation, not no ejaculating at all.
If I could do it over again, I would have been more in control over what I want. This was my 1st time, so I didn't know what to expect. But yeah I'd have her dance in her underwear then get a condom on and fuck her. I might ejac too early, but it be better than being limp. I thought she might jump in during my fapping, but she'd already given up on me, and let me cum on myself.
I'm glad I went. I have a job interview on Friday. I've been living this depressed NEET life for years. And I want to know what $$$ can buy and whether life is worth living. Despite this being a mostly negative experience, it does show you can buy the GF experience with $$$. This is everything I imagined sex with the girl of my dreams would be up to the limpness. Maybe I dived in to quickly directly into vaginal sex. I had some softer options considered. But I figure given the price differences might as well see the real thing, this sex thing everyones always talking about. Actually its kind of chilling to think that this is what my 1st time with my crush would have been.
>>27496820
I've seen a lot of r9k advice that you don't want your 1st time to be with your dream girl, and after this I see why.
>>27493105
For the time being if I do pursue this paid female company lifestyle, I'll stick with strippers. I mean if my big fetish is just seeing groups of girls in their panties, stripclubs certainly deliver that. And while it is expensive $20 for a no-contact thong lap dance. I've proven that even in a full on sexual context, I'm not capable of handling much more than that anyhow. Yeah I got to finally stroke panties. But they were harder, and less soft than I imagined they'd be. The biggest surprise is how light breasts are, I always imagined they'd be heavy from watching porn. If strippers would let me just stroke their thongs, it would be the equivalent of "sex" for me.
>>27496916
Good luck on the job interview, but don't think of sex or money as the only things to want in life.
Once you have a job to go too and start to social and stop being NEET, you'll be able to see that /r9k/'s perverse world view is twisted by users' years of minimal social interaction.
>>27497068
I had a first time (and a few times after) comparable to OPs but she was understanding I dated her for over a year after.
And I also have many friends who I'm sure would be understanding if they really liked the guy, so don't think that that's true for all women or even most.
>>27497273
I said to my dad I have $30,000 in savings right now, if there was anything good in life, I could buy it right now. So I don't think having a job will improve my life. Although I fully concede it might be needed to preserve my current NEET standard of living. Which is a shit depressing life anyway.
Thats why I decided to answer my own challenge and find some of the good things money can buy. And one of them was sexual experience.
>"I'm ugly but I can buy myself the most beautiful of women, therefore I'm not ugly"
>>27497355
I've grown more fond of paid sex after reading r9k. Now that I know how ugly the Darwinian process of sexual selection. Capitalist money seems much more clean and elegant like a lightsaber cutting through the crap.
