I'm fucking tired anons.
I consider myself smart, i like to talk big and pretend i'll go far, have shittons of little ideas that could make millions and yet i spend days playing videogames online, get sick easily, can't concentrate on my studies and make little to no effort to actually cross the bridge between where i am now and where i could be if i gave a rat's ass.
Does that ring a bell? Because it's not fake, it's really what i'm doing with my life and i'm ready to bet a dollar or two some of you also live the same situation. Not willing to kill yourselves because what fucks you up is how MUCH you could do, not how little matters in this life. Not really interested in what's in front of you but always looking like, ten steps ahead, when you can't even cross the street or do your shoelaces or talk to people without actually stopping to think about it, and in some cases, even then you can't.
Hell, maybe i'm the only one, maybe i'm really autistic and somehow managed to fool all around me, including myself. Still, blogging about this on reddit or tumblr or somewhere else's useless, the only people deluded enough to actually be like this are here. So tell me robots. I have just blogged to you, is there anyone else out there?
>>27448882
http://9gag.com/gag/aA1OroR
>>27448882
It does ring a bell with me, only I grew up as a high achiever in pretty much everything naturally; competed at national level sport, got top grades all throughout school even though I partied a lot. Then I got really bad acne and came to uni, didn't make friends during the first week and had no intentions of making friends afterwards. Have kind of sank into nothingness over the last couple years at uni, I'm barely passing my degree and only leave my room to get food.
I burst into tears the other day on a job application because it said to list recent achievements 'from within the past 2 years'. I think I have the ability to turn my life around completely, but I haven't had the push or desire to.
>>27448882
Same shit.
>good grades
>dad dies
>stop caring
>mom wants a change of scenery
>stop giving a shit
>gram gram gets sick, move to take care of her
>done, bullshit through HS
>drop out if college
>realfuckingNEET.jpg
I don't go look for validation of my sadness online though, fuck off
>>27449184
Don't you ever get tired of that mentality? Just keep it in forever and never burst online? (and i say online because if you're truly "same shit" then hell'll freeze over before bursting irl).
Stopping giving a shit is the one thing i haven't done, and that's why i'm the virgin fucking mary of suffering. Oh it's not bad on the outside, of fucking course it isn't, but thinking how you can still do it everyday, how you can be what you used to be and then going to sleep day after day in failure, well it takes a toll on you. Going to college every day wondering if it'll be your last. Talking with people as often as possible (which is weekly, i might as well be a neet already) wondering if this'll be the convo where they tell you to fuck off). Every once in a while having some faith crisis where you ponder whether to stop caring or not, and every time falling closer to the nothingness mark.
I mean not to sound edgy but that shit's horrible. Wouldn't wish it on anybody. Specially not on someone who has nobody else by their side.
i was always a good kid, i never harmed or laughed at anyone and almost kept my opinions to myself.
years went by and i realized school is a fucking joke, 75% of the things you learn are completely irrelevant in day to day lives, and a 18 year old guy can't shove 8 hours of material to his brain everyday, none to less things that barely intrest him, also being in class was hard, people shouting and talking none stop and teachers put up with it.
instead of suspending a kid that consistently make noise in class they would simply tell him to get out.
so as time went on i realized the school staff are all idiots, the principals as well and obviously the students are little shits too that take advantage of the teachers cuckhold attitudes.
when i got into highschool years i realized this thing called "statues" which is a invisible force you sap from others in order to apperciate you, another reason why i think most people are dumb and just barely above animal level of understanding how things work.
when i got to work, people treated me like crap with this attitude of "you are lucky to be here making less than minimum wage" so i gave up on that either
and lastly woman, even my parents treat my older sister like she is a god and always praise her no matter which decisions she makes while being overly critical and harsh on me and my older brother
tl;dr turns out the world we are living in is total shit, full of evil and stupidity and i would gladly kill myself IF i didn't have the hope of making it someday
>>27449036
Wow geez oh man. Which sport was it? Why didn't you play in college. As far as I can tell, the most social people in college play at the college level.
I have always been pretty mediocre and average at everything, and my parents pretty much dragged me to every milestone, so I kind of see where you are coming from.
But, getting to that high a level is pretty impressive and beyond anything I've ever accomplished.
inb4 I took the bait
>>27449449
I am from the UK, so college sport isn't nearly as big a thing as in the US. You have two choices after school if you are amazing at sport; either go to university for studies, or become a full-time athlete.
Not going into too much detail for fear of anonymity, but in my last year in school I was diagnosed with a pretty bad condition which put me out of training for two months. When I got back to it I was shit and had lost motivation, I got told "you will have to announce your resignation" from the programme I was on, and I lost all my sponsorship after that too. Tried doing sport just casually for a bit but I didn't enjoy it without any competitive edge / goal to aim for
I know it's a meme spouted by motivational speakers all the time, but it really is true. The moment you stop setting goals in your life is the moment it starts to go downhill I think
