Sometimes it just gets to me, that we will die some day and the thought that we will be nothing, absolutely nothing, destroys me. I hate it. It makes me appreciate what I have. Just looking at my window makes me happy. And yet some day, my brain will stop working, I will be nothing. Nothing! Just out of nowhere you don't exist no more. I want to be immortal, fuck! Why aren't we perfect? It's so scary, that one day we won't be. Fuck fuck fuck it's scary! I've told myself, to not be afraid of death, countless times and yet it just gets me sometimes. It's not like something bad even happened to me recently, no. I was just thinking that even the Demi-humans from Ajin must be scared of their natural death and it got to me. I just imagine being a rotten body, and yet not existing. Once I die everything will stop existing to me, in the end I'm all that matters to me. It sucks, really, but that's how it is. Even if I'm as happy as I could be, say I get a perfect wife and what not, in the end it won't even matter. There is no heaven or hell for me to go to. Even endless torture in hell would be better than nothing. I watched Creed today. Maybe that was a part of why I started thinking about this shit. It's not a depressing movie on it's own, not at all, but the theme of death... fuck I hate it. I'm sorry for writing here, I never even come to r9k I just couldn't think of another place to vent. You're all autistic bastards and I don't even know why I wrote all of this.
I want to do something with my life. Even if it's worthless. Spending all of my free time on my computer, I hate it. I don't want this. Fuck, poor animals have it even worse than us. How bad would it be if we had the life span of a cats or dogs? And yet how cool would it be if we were perfect and immortal? Honestly somewhere in this universe, lucky bastards like that exist: billion times smarter than us, immortal and who knows that not. Fuck this gay cycle of life and death. Just what is it like, to be dead, to be nothing? How scary is that? One day you'll just go to sleep and not wake up ever again.
I was like you for a good several months. Nonstop thoughts of death. You're just gone. I would panic myself and flip between believing in God and believing nothing happens. These days, with the more I see and experience, nothing happens. With luck the Christians or Hindus are right. Best case scenario is Heaven or reincarnation.
But, weed has helped tremendously. After awhile I just stopped thinking about it and accepted it. Its unavoidable and everybody is going to go through it. For me that's comforting.
The idea of not-existing anymore, all of my problems going away and my shit life ceasing to exist feels incredibly comfy to me, desu.
Think about the nights you sleep deeply. You don't dream, you don't feel, it's just a few hours of nothing. That's what death is. Only you don't wake up the next morning tired and unprepared the next day. You stay in that blackness for an un-felt amount of time.
>>27445143
I want to die and never ever go through this shit ever again. I hope there is nothing after death and that our consciousness just dies. Hell for me would be dying then coming back to life to live my life all over again and the process repeats for infinity. That's a robot's worst nightmare. You fucking normalfags have the opposite reaction. Fuck off you fucking normies. Death is a robots ultimate gift. Death will release us robots from suffering. You normies will never understand.
