I honestly think I have a mental illness, but I need to know for sure. Lets start with the fact that weird thoughts always visit my head, I feel like I am going mad slowly and I dont know how to stop it. My life is miserable as it is with a very low amount of friends (2 friends), I dont know what to do when I am home, Sometimes I just sit and stare at the computer and realize how much of useless cunt I am. My parents are divorced and I dont live even with them. When I am with any of my friends for a long amount of time I feel like they see that I am going mad. I dont think like normal people, I say stuff that normal people wont say and I do what normal people dont do (usually). My life fucking sucks how can I stop it (no suicide since scared of death). I know I have to change somehow. Each day that passes I feel more and more paranoidic, I am a complete fucking paranoic. Also something that ruins my daily life is for example when I am with a group of people and someone says something offensive to me I get super sad and super mad at this person and will hate him for the rest of my life to such degree that it ruins my everyday life, I cant look at this person without thinking about raping his mother and killing this peice of shit, I think about it almost daily and when this particular person says something bad about me again in a public place I get insta worried, my heart beats like mad, I start panicking what people might think about me and its literally the worst feeling ever. How can I stop this bullshit. How can I stop caring about what other people think of me? Please I need help guys
>>27391645
>I dont know what to do when I am home, Sometimes I just sit and stare at the computer and realize how much of useless cunt I am.
This is your problem right here family. I have the same problem as you. And it's not completely gone or anything, but when you isolate and don't stay active (mentally or physically) it makes it worse. You just need to go out and do something, or don't even go out, but do SOMETHING. Put on some headphones and take a walk, pick up a hobby, learn something, even write a diary or whatever? Do something with yourself, you're going to drive yourself insane otherwise.
>>27391686
Its not only that. I feel like I am inferior to other people for example there are people who fuck with me sometimes (fuck not in the sexual meaning) and I feel like they know everything about my life and can control me while I dont know anything about them. Weird shit like that. I feel like everyone around me is against me and it has a proof since I cant make any friends in the class (last year) except with the total nerds.
>>27391778
Even if they can, are you gonna let that control your life? People are always fucking with me, are you gonna let them win? Fuck that, do what makes you happy, let go of the silly notion that anyone actually cares enough to seriously fuck you over, they'll most likely only do slight things that won't even matter to you in a year or so. Acknowledge the paranoia and accept it. You're going to feel like this for the rest of your life, it's time to get used to it.
You felt trapped by society all you life, however you are a social. You say weird stuff to people because, of the shadow self within. The "shadow self" is a part of your subconscious which that is trying to push you away from "scary people." You have to nurture your shadow within and teach it that it has nothing to fear. This will take time and practice. In the mean time try working on you self-esteem, this will take time to. So just run. When you feel stressed or or overwhelmed, Lace up your snicker and put on sweat pants and run. Run until you break down. Fuck the world and just run away until you can't anymore. The activity will make you less depressed also, drink lots of water and eat healthy foods.
>Here is a feels video that may encourage you.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e17iXDf0NGE
>it's a "normies pretending they know all of life's answers" episode
>>27391862
There is nothing with using you neetdom to read books.
>>27391645
Asking help on /r9k/ of all places.TOP FUCKING KEK
