I got a gf, I've had her for about two months now, and she really fucking pisses me off sometimes. I'm posting this to ask if you guys think that my anger is illogical or not, and please be honest and not white-knight tier shit. I'll give some examples:
>constantly having borderline anxiety attacks, refuses to tell me what's wrong but still expects me to be there for her
>acts like a fucking five year old and has no idea why i get annoyed when she does this in public.
>completely ignores what i tell her and "forgets" it. for example, (we're in uni) we were going to hang out one day, but she had homework and told me that she would do it all that day so we could hang out the next day. the next day, she doesn't even do fucking HALF of it, and says that she didn't finish on PURPOSE, but she forgot that we were going to hang out that day, but because of the rest of the homework, we couldn't
I've got plenty more, but this should suffice. So, from these examples, do you think it's illogical that I get angry at her a lot? (I've never actually expressed my anger externally, so she doesn't know how much it really irritates me, even though i've told her directly that it does irritate me)
Lol and you aren't calling her on the bullshit? Put your foot down or get walked on
>>27224849
>completely ignores what i tell her and "forgets" it. for example, (we're in uni) we were going to hang out one day, but she had homework and told me that she would do it all that day so we could hang out the next day. the next day, she doesn't even do fucking HALF of it, and says that she didn't finish on PURPOSE, but she forgot that we were going to hang out that day, but because of the rest of the homework, we couldn't
>>constantly having borderline anxiety attacks, refuses to tell me what's wrong but still expects me to be there for her
She's fucking Chad
http://oshotimes.blog.osho.com/2013/03/a-woman-is-to-be-loved-not-understood/
you either act with love or you gonna lose her eventually and not enjoy the experience
>>27224890
I have before, I refused and still refuse to be a fucking beta cuck anymore, and she acts like she "doesn't know" why or what she is feeling but that it's "bad"
>>27224896
Actually no, unless she started fucking him in the past five days, I broke her hymen myself like last weekend.
>>27224903
I'm not sure if you're being sarcastic, but I'm not going to just "love" her and "not understand" her. I do actually love her, but her shit is really fucking pissing me off, and I refuse to just fucking ignore it any more.
My gf is the same way. Retarded as fuck. I think it's a female thing. The best we can do is try to train them. Mine still annoys me but I got her trained to be a mindless fuckslave. I think there is no hope of teaching her to hold a conversation or cook. I get what I need though.
>>27224975
Its not the question of do you love her or not, but do you act with love?
If she doesn't feel loved, then it doesn't matter what you think you feel. It just calls for different perspective on things, it is the easiest way to make things feel better.
Other option is of course try to talk about it with her a lot more and do your research on her life ( ask questions or notice things ). But girls faced with compromise/confrontation especially anxious ones, may really just panic and detach themselves from you, hence it leading to slow break up
I guarantee you she hears what you says and remembers what she says she "forgot". She sounds manipulative and selfish. You could try and fix it by calling her out and discussing it but you might end up driving yourself crazy since she doesn't sound very reasonable just based off what you've said. But yea, to answer your question, any reasonable person would get pissed off dealing with that.
Treat her like you would a dog. Train her with the same systems, reward behaviours you want to see and punish/ignore those you don't. Finally, talk to other women, I don't care if you shit yourself and puke afterwards, so long as she knows you can.
The goal is to both train her and give the impression that she is not particularly important to you. She needs to know that you can and will drop her without going full feels afterwards. How true this is doesn't matter yet
>>27224849
>constantly having borderline anxiety attacks, refuses to tell me what's wrong but still expects me to be there for her
You're a prick, women are emotional wrecks at times. Learn to deal with it.
>acts like a fucking five year old and has no idea why i get annoyed when she does this in public.
A little weird on her part, talk to her about it.
>completely ignores what i tell her and "forgets" it. for example, (we're in uni) we were going to hang out one day, but she had homework and told me that she would do it all that day so we could hang out the next day. the next day, she doesn't even do fucking HALF of it, and says that she didn't finish on PURPOSE, but she forgot that we were going to hang out that day, but because of the rest of the homework, we couldn't
She doesn't love you anymore.
>>27226108
>She doesn't love you anymore.
She first told me that she did like five days ago.
>You're a prick, women are emotional wrecks at times. Learn to deal with it.
At times, yes. I can understand at TIMES. This happens EVERY OTHER DAY.
I had a gf for 7 year, then a fiance for over one year.
You are having it good, there are much worse girls around, and I mean it, severe daddy issues girls are the worst to get attached to.
You need to follow the advice given here, it is like an untrained dog, you must shape her to act how you expect.
In a relationship you shape you partner much like she shapes you back. It is not equal amount to each side, you have to impose yourself slowly and steady until she does what you want without even realizing it.
Hey OP, how did you get her in the first place? What kind of dates and stuff did you go on?
>>27225056
Mine is stupid too. She doesnt know shit about anything. She just likes to spend money and talk bullshit about what little things happen in her day and friends.
They are really shallow and retarded.
>>27226670
Here
Don't forget that when you tell to her that she did bad use her NAME, no sweety, love, pampam, cute pie or anything. Much like your parents when you did something bad.
>>27226761
That was my fiance, playing league of legends all day while I worked my ass off to be noticed inside my company and studying over the weekends to improve.
She would do absolute nothing but complain about her drunk father and play LoL. When she had to go to her Design classes the only thing she had to say about it was how much he hated it.
>>27225056
>>27225985
Any more advice on "training". Can I do this with a girl I want to be my gf, or only once she is a gf?
>>27226875
If you want to do with someone that is not your gf yet you have to be inspirational, the shaping must look more like teaching than anything else.
Check this article and also the book, which continues to be a holy grail.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_to_Win_Friends_and_Influence_People
>>27227008
Thanks m8, looks like I have some reading to do.
Got any stories from your training your gf? Just trying to understand this from a gf-related angle
>>27227301
I can't think of anything from the top of my mind, sorry, the process is continuous, it never stops.
And also, I've been doing therapy and suppressing(In a good way) the past memories with them so I can relate with another woman again. I was diagnosed with mommy issues a while a go.
>>27227517
Oh wow, a therapist is actually encouraging you to suppress? Never heard of that before.
Just to clarify, by "inspirational", you meant you mean like you have to do things you want her to do, and she will do them because she wants to be more like you?
>>27227970
I said suppress in a sense of completely getting over it and never thinking about it again because it doesn't not matter anymore, sorry if I used the wrong word.
You didn't ask but: My thing is that my mom had to work all the time, and used to beat me, when home. My first GF was a sweet girl but had crazy dad issues, he tried to strangle her once. She needed constant attention otherwise she would find online guys and be their long distance gf, I only realized when gifts appeared on her doorstep.
Sorry for that, I like to write about it, it is always a personal challenge.
Now to the real thing:
Paint yourself as mature fatherly figure. Act interested on everything she says, google the subject, think about friends that had any experience with subject and use that to your advantage.
"Become genuinely interested in other people."
That is the main thing. She is doing some cooking course? "That is awesome, what is the hardest thing you ever prepared?"
Architecture? "That funny building over X, why is it like that?"
Sound deeply interested in what she does, and you better end up being, as he she might be your future gf. This is not only a "get a gf tip", it is universal couple relationship tip.
Every time a woman approaches her bf/husband with some news and he answers with "I see" "Hum..." "Nice...", the relationship dies a little.
Inspire her with your thoughts in subjects that relate to her, don't give your straight and dry opinion about things, ask her what she thinks of it, and then give your honest opinion. This way you will even find stuff that you both relate to, or some red flag for you.
Don't go full analyst "How do you feel about it?", that is also a bit unatural. "But if youdo X, will it make Y better for you?" sounds much better.
I am no specialist, what I say cames from 10 years of relationship, a lot of problems, observation, and a bunch of reading on the subject.
>>27227970
Remember these are not advices to fuck and drop, if you use this kind of stuff to that you must be ok with damaging someone else brain
>>27227008
>>27227301
>How To Control People and Act Fake
>>27228668
"Become genuinely interested in other people."
You can use a gun to both hurt and protect. How you use your soft skills is up to you.
>>27228770
If you are reading a book on how to act and what to do to make people like you, how are you not a faker?
>>27224849
This is exactly the reason why I don't try anymore, honestly.
Never had a formal gf before, but had a sex partner. Sex isn't that good, sure, it feels better than jacking off, but not that much of a difference.
I have a couple girls looking for me, but I don't want to proceed because just for wanting to have sex I have to cope with:
>their fucking bullshit
>having to buy them shit
>having to take them out
>having to stay /fit/ or/and good-looking
>talk literally everyday with them
>having to be alert to not get fucking cucked
>having to discuss awkward shit like children (a couple of them have hinted me this, like, what the fuck we're 20)
>having to visit their family, which IHDGAF
Is all this shit worth the sex? Do I really need to fill that status quo? Fuck me, that's not like me at all. I'm a lazy cunt, plus, I have a lot of things to be worried about right now, so why adding another preoccupation to the list?
>>27228845
The book covers a lot of things that are common sense to some. Other have been raised in a way that these concepts are completely alien to them and the book helps to get along with society.
Do you want an example on how this can go bad?
http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/198/How-to-Win-Friends-and-Influence-People
Act One, a father gave this book to a 10 year old and fucked up his head completely. Is the book dangerous? For a 10 year old yes, of course. It may be used to cause harm.
You don't go to a shooting range to get better at murdering, or maybe you can!
You can use the book to fuck girls and drop them on the stop, it is up to you. You could also convince a shallow retarded stacy that you are the perfect guy, and enjoy a life of suffering next to someone miserable.
It is a matter of opinion.
http://www.theguardian.com/society/2012/aug/27/dementia-village-residents-have-fun
There is this village in Amsterdam where they hold a population of people with dementia, they can "work" and carry on with their lives without realizing the people around are all nurses/trained people, prepared to deal with their condition. They have dementia, they don't realize it, this village is is the closest thing they can get to reality.
Are those couple hundred sick people being lied to 24h a day? Yes. Is it bad? In my opinion it is not.
>>27229084
When having sex, were you trying to reach climax or were you trying to make your partner reach it?
There is something special in a relationship about trying to make your loved one feel good.
A fuck buddy seems like something to de-stress, just to relax a bit. What could be achieved with a pill of Clonazepam under the tongue.
Could you share your experience?
>>27229084
> Is all this shit worth the sex?
>Do I really need to fill that status quo?
>Fuck me, that's not like me at all.
>I have a lot of things to be worried about right now
I too have been thinking about this for a while. I want to find not a Queen but a King to walk hand in hand. Someone that helps me when I need, and to be helped the same way.
She does not need to have an entire life plan, just be working toward good things, study, work and so on.
I don't want to be your second father, I want to be your partner for life, to build, to achieve. And for this a girl can't be a drag, can't walk behind my footsteps but at my side.
This is my dream, and I will not cease to search for a girl like this.
Sometimes I feel like I am actually looking for a man, and that a girl like this does not exist. I even tried dating a girl that had high testosterone, manly facial structure and other features. It was a failure, she had the same women crippled brain as the others.
>>27229335
>we were kind-of friends already. When we started, we were at a house reunion or whatever you call those in the U.S. (few people and liquor)
>we stayed up until we were the last 2 awake
>it was dark, all lights were out
>we were talking
>she puts her hand on my dick and starts rubbing it
>I had never experienced sexual approach, so I just went with it and kept talking normally with her
>she eventually takes my dick out of my pants and starts giving me a blowjob
>things build up until we get to her room
>she asks me if I've ever had sex before
>"uh... no...?"
>she starts explaining me how to do shit, and shows me some positions
>we fuck, sleep together
>one week later, another reunion happens in the same house and the same shit happens
>at this point we knew this would be going on
>actually went on for 1.5 years until I moved
To answer your original question. My first time, of course I was nervous, but as soon as it became somewhat normal I just got the hang of it.
>>27229615
Wow, more than one year, that is crazy! How could you not get emotionally attached? I would for sure.
>>27229533
>I don't want to be your second father, I want to be your partner for life, to build, to achieve
I also thought I could someday find someone like this but do you honestly think this is achievable, especially considering how women's minds are hardwired to think completely different than a man's?
>>27229666
Nah, we only saw each other whenever the group would reunite to drink and play Smash Bros., she wasn't half bad at it either. We would fuck once each month average.
Crazier are those sick demon gets, though.
>>27224849
How long have you known her and have you fikki fikki yet? Was she like this at first? These details are important.
>>27229690
I found one, she is now my best friend, and has a bf for more than a year. I am not in love with her, nor she is my crush. She is the first woman that I can talk with without feeling that I am walking on eggshells, I can be completelly honest, as if she was a man.
My theory, she has severe ADHD and takes pills since childhood. Not sure if the pills or her condition somehow rewired her brain to be on "no-bullshit mode" like most of us.
>>27229801
So how does she fit your description if you don't have any romantic feelings for her? If she's that special to you, are you really okay with her being with someone else?
it's illogical that you are posting here.
leave normie
>>27228845
Are all people with autism "fakers"?
The reality is that some people aren't born with your normie social skills and actually have to learn them manually.
keep in mind that you might feel like shit when it is all over....
>>27229909
It is what she desires, I see her as utmost close friend so much that I want to see her happy, and she seems to be at the moment. Would you try to screw your friend life for a chance?
She meets my criteria, doesn't mean we are destined to be together. I am just saying that there are cases around, but very hard to find.
>>27230018
Print this and read it everyday in the morning with a cup of coffee, it is pure truth and you must be prepared. Even so, it will hurt.
>>27230112
Thanks for sharing your point of view with me. I assume you know that denying your feelings now or developing them later can lead to loads of misery. Peace.
>>27228564
Thanks for all the info anon. I think I;m starting to understand the whole relationship thing a little better. I was always focussed on myself and worried that I would be too boring for a gf, but maybe what I really need to do is focus on her more.
>>27224849
You seem way too angry about such tiny things imo. Have you tried actually fucking talking to her about this stuff? Personally, my partner does shit that pisses me off sometimes but I don't think I've ever felt the need to post about it like GUYS IM SO FUCKING FURIOUS SHAKING WITH RAGE. None of those seem like unforgivable things so I don't understand why it is making you so angry.
>constantly having borderline anxiety attacks, refuses to tell me what's wrong but still expects me to be there for her
Is there actually something wrong that she refuses to tell you about or is she just having them about nothing? It's pretty normal for people with actual anxiety (not just hue hue im fukn sad bc no gf) to get anxious and have panic attacks for no fucking reason. Like, that's the point. Anxiety is illogical.
Legit, dude, people can be fucking annoying even if you love them but just be careful with your anger. If calm talks about finding a solution to certain problems aren't working or if you can't find it in yourself to just let go a little bit it'd be better to break it off. No point being with someone who you're going to end up resenting and hating forever.
>>27225056
>>27226875
>>27226670
This shit is gross as fuck.
How about you retards just actually dump your gf and date someone you actually like? Is that too easy of a solution to your problem?
>>27230535
We kind of explained that on the following posts, but without trips you can't tell.
I am alone, grieving the end of my last relationship and searching for a King.
