Who /selfloathing/ here and why?
My life is a mess but it's not really my or anyone else's fault. I hate myself for all the shitty things I've done and all the chances I was too scared to take, all the times I hurt other people because I was afraid of being hurt, and for putting my momentary comfort and satisfaction over my own self respect, even though that's exactly what I've been doing for the past 10 years and will probably continue to do until something forces me to change. I get really depressed and short sighted sometimes, maybe that's what happens when I stay in my room for days on end or maybe that's just the way things really are.
>>27126300
I hate myself because I'm lazy and have no self control. I failed out of college and part of me feels like I deserve to be as depressed as possible and I find every chance to make myself feel worse.
Here.
Because I realize what an utter embarrasment I am to my parents. How awkward and creepy I was in school. How plain and boring I am because I take no time out to do my appearance. How I have no friends because I make no efforts to do so, and because my home is as messy as my head.
I don't deserve anyone. Not love, not caring. I should be forgotten, turn up on TV like one of those hoarders who are found dead in the trash of their own fault.
>small dick
>round baby face
>little facial hair
>huge eye bags
>balding
>short
>ugly
>fat
>no money
>stuck in 3rd world
>no love and affection
>stuck in a dead end job
>depression, paranoia and panic attacks everyday
>huge potato nose
>can never fix my personality, I'm too far gone
>too afraid of getting hurt to try
>probably end up killing myself or dying alone in a shitty aparment
>lazy as hell with little self control
>literally deserve to be shot in the head and stop mooching resources
I got fat and I know that I'm too lazy to fix it.
>>27126300
Me.
I'm hideous, which makes everyone hate me, including myself. Fell for the meme that people don't and tried to move on with my life. Nothing worked out and everyone still hated me. I missed out on my youth and now everything is all downhill from here.
Can somebody here explain to me what the self is?
Thank you.
Theres nothing to loathe
>>27126300
Because I'm a mental wreck and I've finally accepted it
I tried so hard but I've accepted that I'm just a failure at heart. Went to the doctor and got prescribed antidepressants so chance of getting into the military within the next 10 years is gone which means I probably never will be accepted so I can finally beat my head against the wall and cut myself like I always wanted to.
I don't have to try any more. I don't have to fake it and lie about my head.
I can finally just be myself.
Was raised to be a social retard who can't make friends.
>>27126300
Because i have tried to have a positive mindset and it hasn't work.
Because
>am gay
>am doing shit in school
>hair is thinning
>no friends
>>27126300
Being southeast asian man, manlet, having a small dick, no friends, and realizes that i have no positive quality that would make people be comfortable around me. Also friendless and loner but wishing to be extroverted
>>27126572
How small and where do you live ?
>>27126768
13 cm and thin, don't wanna say where I live.
>>27126798
Why ? Is it southeast asia ?
I will describe my day so far
>woke up at 5pm
>obtained chicken tacos from mother
>went back to my NEET dungeon
>watched movies and built with Legos for 8 hours
>boy does time fly when your existence is pointless
>got hungry
>ate entire box of Famous Amos cookies and half gallon of milk to wash it down
>bored of Legos for now
>start arguing on /tv/ and /r9k/
>see this thread
>post this
i am dead on the inside, self loathing would be an achievement
>>27126798
N'ah, just don't wanna say it.
>>27126798
wtf i thought 13 cm was average
>>27126901
Is it
P O O I N T H E L O O ?
>>27126991
13 cm = about 5.18 inches.
6 inches is the world average, including asians which means the western world average is probably considerably higher.
Of course the africans have the biggest ones but that's hardly surprising.
>>27126995
N'ah.
>>27126991
Nope, it's small as hell.
>pretend to be an intellectual
>everyone I know thinks I'm much more intelligent than I probably am
>they only think this because I surround myself with business students and other idiots only interested in making money
>don't remember the last time I read and finished a book
>still pretend to know what Im talking about when it comes to literature
>could be an intellectual if I weren't so fucking lazy
>marijuana addict
>the thought of stopping smoking actually scares me
>decidedly non-normie fetish that prevents normal sexual relationships
INonverbal learning disorder diagnosed when I was 8. ADHD diagnosed when I was 18. I have executive functioning problems and need some help from my family. I've had depression since I was 13 and have been hospitalized for it 5 times. I used to self harm. It's not for attention, I tried so hard to hide it but they checked my legs. I haven't cut since I adopted my dog 8 months ago.
I suspect I may have avoidant personality disorder but I'm not diagnosed. I was misdiagnosed with bipolar and BPD. I have neither.
I'm on SSI and I have no idea what I'm going to do with my life. I can do some arts and crafts to sell for pocket money, or maybe breed rabbits for meat.
>>27127066
>could be an intellectual if I weren't so fucking lazy
Are you sure about that, though? Have you ever actually tried? I have my doubts...
>marijuana addict
>the thought of stopping smoke actually scares me
You sound like just another self-delusional weak-willed hipster to me.
I suppose you are right to be selfloathing. Good post, anon.
>>27127278
>Are you sure about that, though? Have you ever actually tried? I have my doubts...
nigga you don't know me
I am very well-versed on a lot of issues that interest me, most notably history. I know more about the American Civil War than I imagine anyone on this board does, but that's because it actually interests me
Reading philosophy and most literature just doesn't interest me. My only regret is pretending that it does
>weak-willed hipster
I might be weak-willed but I'm anything but a hipster. More of an anti-hipster if anything
>>27126300
why?
because I'm a lazy, cowardly shithead
I act smart but deep down I'm a dumbass who just gets by winging it
My mind, body, and life are permanently fucked up because of preventable events.
I'm ashamed to be alive. Killing myself would be, by far, the most respectable course of action for me to take.
>>27127313
Fine...
Weak-willed stoner, if that's what you'd prefer.
>>27126300
I'm an ugly short POS but I think the biggest reason I hate myself is my crippling anxiety and mood swings. Those two coupled have really ruined my life
>and why?
why not?
I have zero positive attributes
because im a shadow who has no inch of potential or talent to my name. i mean i bet people think im talented because i whip out the exotic shit to entertain (e.g. didgeridoo) but in reality im highly incompetent at everything i do. ive become completely selfless and only care about the well being of my friends and family. i dont want anybody of them to fall victim to self loathing, pity and uncontrollable emotions like i have.
>>27127373
>>27127439
fuck, i feel you anons.
>>27127149
I'd be interested in taking to other anons with NVLD. I've never met anyone else with it that I know of.
>>27126300
Not enough power to destroy the universe if i wanted to
it fucking sucks having to slave away a shitty existence when i could be an actual god
>>27127585
so you're a liar and you would cheat on your partner?
I have ideas and solutions but I don't know how to articulate them. I feel like there's a gap where thoughts become words and whenever I try to articulate my thoughts I stutter or it is incoherent
>>27128184
sometimes I feel like a pathological liar
I would never cheat on a partner, but I'll never HAVE a partner so it's not even something I think about
>>27128944
>pathological liar
that's shit. pls stop.
>would never cheat
that's good bro. you have 1 positiv attribute now :3
>>27127017
>6 inches is the average
Where did this meme come from?
>>27129524
It ain't a meme, ya dip.
Learn to into google.
>>27127017
>>27129524
the eu avg is 6 inch. hungarian men have the biggest dick with 6.3 inch in the eu. no homo.
only 1% of the men have 6.7 inch or more.
1-2% of the men have a micro dick with under 2.8 inch.
>>27129006
>pls stop.
how?
I don't know why I lie, and i want to stop.
>>27130197
say people that you lie "sometimes" and tell them when you lie. it's shameful but the only way to get over that shit.
I'm self loathing because I'm a failure in every sense of the word.
I dropped out of high school in my junior year because my anxiety was getting too bad to function around other people. Its not like things were going well for me there anyways, I was failing classes and eating lunch in the fucking bathroom because I had no friends.
Ever since then, I've been a NEET. I'm 23 now.
I spend my days locked up in my room, avoiding sunlight for months at a time, shitposting on an anime imageboard and watching Japanese cartoons to fill the time. And the weirdest part is that I have no desire to change. I know I'm not strong enough to make anything of myself, so why should I?
I have no potential, no skills, and no future. Why would I not be self loathing?
>always thought lowly of myself since elementary school.
>zero self-confidence
>always been self-conscious of my stutter.
>constant teasing through out schooling a main reason I've acquired bad social anxiety.
>couldn't start college because of said social anxiety.
>currently have no social life, no irl friends.
>never-ending thoughts about my family thinking i'm a failure
>constantly feel I'm replaceable or never good enough.
That's just the tip of the iceberg. I've just always gave too many fucks about things and people I shouldn't give a fuck about and it's messed me up to the point where I hate myself, no matter what I've accomplished.
I'm doing well in college, but it's come at a price. Completely surrendered my social life, and now I'm so involved in a combination of academics, work, and organizations that I literally have one evening of free time a week and fewer than 10 genuine friends at best. My mental health has suffered, and my anhedonia is rampant. I've never gone on a single date ever, and I'm screwed up enough now that I don't think I could have a real relationship. I have fantasies of making girls feel like shit about themselves.
>>27130704
>Doing well in college
>"Only" 10 genuine friends
Your life sounds great, to be honest. I can see how the lack of free time can be frustrating at the moment but that will change once you graduate.
The anhedonia is something that is extremely common nowadays (or maybe it just is here on 4chan), so you get no sympathy from me there.
The sadistic tendencies are nothing special either. Most of the robots here would probably choke a few Stacies given the opportunity.
To be honest you just sound like a normal somewhat introverted normie who's come to whine here.
I've never had any reason to believe I'm anything other than shit.
>in uni
>able bodied, decent grades, not that autistic
>don't want to do anything productive outside of classes, homework
>recognize that I'm a lazy piece of shit and wasting my life
>don't want to do anything to correct myself
Why can't I be ignorant enough to believe what I'm doing is fine
Severe rosacea and I cant so much as look in the mirror
Pretty much the main thing desu. I dont even like going outside because of it
Both my appearance and my character are worthless and will never be of value to anyone
>>27126300
Because I'm an alcoholic and a toxic mess of a person.
I've scared away almost everyone who has ever loved me. I've consistently done terrible things to other people throughout my life (and we're not talking petty highschool stuff), either because I felt justified in doing so, or because I enjoyed the kick of superiority and excused it because this was my "job" and they deserved it.
I've failed at the goals I set for myself and that I used to justify a lot of the awful things I've done.
One person from a long time ago in my life has recently come back to me, and I'm going to be better, for her, because she needs someone who can offer real, unconditional love.
>Failure at everything
>Shitskin
