the suicide thoughts are coming on full force a large part of me wants to actually fucking do it but a small part of me wants me to not do it. Will this ever stop?
>the suicide thoughts are coming
They're "coming"? No. That's not how thoughts work.
You choose your thoughts. Every thought you think is a decision YOU made.Not really I'm just messing with you. Feel better brah
>>27139799
You will have to face death anyway, whether now or later. Every person is born owing the Universe a death and you're no different. If you were to end it now, it would make no difference at all... and this is why you shouldn't. See, the difference between an animal and a man is that animals must always choose the path of least pain. Only Man has the power of Will, the ability to say, "I choose to do this not because it is of benefit to me or because it will aid in my survival, but because I choose it and it is my Will for it to be so."
The fact that it would be easier, kinder, and less painful to kill yourself than to live is why you absolutely must force yourself to live. You must defy the Universe. You must defy all logic, all reason, and choose to live simply because you can, and because it is your Will. And by doing so you manifest what is great in Man; you embody the Ubermensch the part of us which is divine and spiritual and reaches past the mere meat.
Be a true champion, OP. Choose to live simply because it is your Will to do so.
>>27140070
well the thoughts are getting stronger.
>>27140285
why so I can constantly be bored and depressed?
>>27140452
>so I can constantly be bored and depressed?
Yes. You complain constantly about how life never gave you a fair shake. Yet here you are with the power in your hands to declare that you refuse to give in and refuse to give up. That no matter how terrible the things you must face, you will face them fearlessly and defiantly because you are a Man and you have chosen to do so. If you choose to take the easy path, then that's entirely on you. You will have no one to blame, no excuses to give.
Dare to be great. Dare to get up off your knees and say that you will choose to live not because it makes sense but because it *doesn't*.
>>27139799
I want to die all the time, friend! :D Y'know what stops me from doing it? Mainly the fact that I'm shit scared of going to Hell or something for doing it. Just think.... There's a chance that you can stop being bored and depressed, and replace it with eternal fiery pain. I sure wouldn't want that. That's what keeps me going. Maybe it can help you too! Good luck with your life, anon-kun. <3
>>27140524
>You complain constantly about how life never gave you a fair shake.
not really I find my life pointless I don't complain really to anyone about it
Was horribly depressed for years and then got a terminal illness.
Guess what apparently sparks the fight to live?
Shit sucks yo.
>>27140645
Hope you find some peace anon.
I want to do it so badly. Not because I'm too chicken shit, but because of the consequences it'll have on my family. I would feel incredibly selfish to put my family, especially my 3 sisters(2 of which actually just turned 9 today) through all of that pain and suffering from me.
Listen to this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4SGDHfcZVOg
That girl sounds like a slightly older version of one of my sisters so this video fucked with me a lot. Any time the suicidal thoughts come back I just remember this video and know I just can't do it.
Are we gonna make it guys?
>>27140682
I wish that'd bother me but it doesn't my brain is melting away I don't have any sympathy I just want to die.
>>27140682
This is terminal illness anon.
You will never see a world more vibrant and beautiful, even with all its faults and fucked up nature, than one you are not allowed to live in anymore.
Things I'd find so banal or not worth my time are just absolutely fascinating and enriching now.
Just to sit outside and listen to the breeze.
The reason you can't appreciate this right now is because nothing is trying to tear it from you.
I'm just rambling now I think..
I had to spend a year at an inpatient facility to figure out which meds work for me and which didn't. Once I got the right meds (Zoloft and Clozaril) I'm symptom free and even managed to get back into the groove of things and am now at University
>be me
>been crying all night
>been drinking a lot
>desperately want to kill myself
>firearm license is waiting to be approved
>can't kill myself yet
>have my suicide note printed
Everything is preped. Just need my license, so I can get a gun, then I can get drunk, feel sad, and blow my brains out. Thank fuck I didn't go to the doctors' about my depression because of tfwnogf, or else I wouldn't be able to get a gun.
>>27139799
>Will this ever stop
yes, its just the time of year. early spring is when most people kill themselves. something about sunlight after winter. it'le pass
>>27140846
That does indeed make a lot of sense anon. Without sense of loss there's usually no sense of meaning either...
>>27140682
This asshole is a fucking retard. Why would you shoot yourself with your little sisters in your house with you? What a fucking Chad piece of shit. At least leave a note and walk out to the forest or something
>>27140914
Niggers tongue my anus!!
blocxx
