Guys, you've helped me before and I need your help again.
There's a girl and she's open to us hanging out.
I have no idea what I'm doing, or where I'm supposed to take her, or if this is even a date.
What's the gameplan? Keep in mind I'm a total beginner.
>she's open to us hanging out
So... you haven't even hung out with her before? Is this some internet meet up thing because that can only end in disaster.
Just go grab something to eat with her or go get a coffee.
Also, why don't you just ask her these questions? If you don't have her number then you're just beta orbiter status and shouldn't expect much.
>>27036035
Take her out somewhere where there's constant activity. Like a mall or a carnival of some shit where you can constantly talk about new things. If you don't think you can handle a long date, talk to her about a quick cup of coffee because your schedule allows it, that way you don't have to be forcing the convo thinking of what to say next.
Don't be a sperg. You're obviously not experienced don't go for any base that night . keep it cool, smile, laugh, and be relaxed.
And if she's being a bitch then drop her ass back home or leave early on the bus you took. Whatever but let her know you won't put up a second more with her shit
I'm dating this chubby Asian bitch who was giving me a hard time and I dropped her ass home on the first date. She called me back about 100 times I finally picked up and she apologized. Most importantly, dont show your interest in her romantically. Maybe just let a little sexual inuendo slide.
>>27036112
Sorry for being so vague.
We've kinda hung out in group situations a few times, but never just us two.
I'm scared of doing the generic coffee/dinner thing because the focus is strictly on each other and I'm really shit at talking. Also, how do I know if I should be trying to escalate or if we are just hanging out?
Wouldn't it be autistic if I literally asked her?
>>27036164
Guy who posted above you.
Assume she's not into you, and assume you're trying to get at her. Make her like you.
>>27036164
>Wouldn't it be autistic
You're fucking asking for advice on r9k and you want to talk about what is autistic? I would just ask her what she wanted to do and then only if I hated the suggestion, would I tell her what we're doing instead.
Fuck man. You're bad at talking, are you? Great, don't get to know anyone. If you want friends or a girlfriend then learn to not be bad at talking.
Try to find something fun and mildly distracting, I personally like mini golf or a similar half-sport type thing. I would say bowling but I always feel autistic when I go bowling
>>27036161
>Take her out somewhere where there's constant activity. Like a mall or a carnival of some shit where you can constantly talk about new things. If you don't think you can handle a long date, talk to her about a quick cup of coffee because your schedule allows it, that way you don't have to be forcing the convo thinking of what to say next.
That makes sense. Although even with this crutch I'm not very confident in my ability to come up with interesting stuff to say.
> You're obviously not experienced don't go for any base that night
Are you sure? From other advice I've heard, I should kiss her to show my intentions and be "assertive".
> keep it cool, smile, laugh, and be relaxed.
Gonna be hard when I'm a depressed, anxious mess. I'll have to fake it all. Maybe I'm not even ready for dating yet.
>
I'm dating this chubby Asian bitch who was giving me a hard time and I dropped her ass home on the first date. She called me back about 100 times I finally picked up and she apologized. Most importantly, dont show your interest in her romantically. Maybe just let a little sexual inuendo slide.
That's a good tip. I think this girl is really nice though, so I should be okay.
>>27036255
>Are you sure? From other advice I've heard, I should kiss her to show my intentions and be "assertive".
holy shit dont do this, you will cuck it up
>>27036268
Literally this, maybe a kiss on thy cheek at the end of the date but that's it.
>>27036184
>Make her like you.
Well yeah, that's the hard part. How do I do it?
>>27036214
>I would just ask her what she wanted to do
But don't girls prefer the guy to be in control?
>If you want friends or a girlfriend then learn to not be bad at talking.
I know I have to learn, but I also don't want to lose this girl. Theoretically, how long could I keep her on hold while I practice my skills with someone else?
>>27036294
Guy who isn't giving you garbage advice here. You don't "make someone like you" unless you're applying for a fucking job or some shit. What kind of fucking normie shit treats regular interactions like an interview? She's either going to like you or she won't.
Best advice I can give you is to try to look your best. Please do not ask me how because they write entire fucking books on how. Entire books.
>>27036315
>don't girls prefer the guy to be in control
Oh, I'm always in control regardless of what the stupid bitch thinks. I ask her to make her think I care about her opinion when I'm just asking for another idea for a place to go.
>>27036251
That's what I was thinking. Although bowling and minigolf also have the potential to be boring, or to have awkward silences and shit.
There's got to be some other activity along these lines. Or maybe I'm too awkward for dating.
>>27036288
>>27036268
Cheek kiss seems a bit beta, doesn't it?
When do you know if there's a right time? Probably never for a daytime date, right?
>>27036363
>Please do not ask me how because they write entire fucking books on how.
At least got some sort of starting point? I assume you just mean clothes, hairstyle, etc.
>Oh, I'm always in control regardless of what the stupid bitch thinks. I ask her to make her think I care about her opinion when I'm just asking for another idea for a place to go.
I see what you mean. But for a date, at least the first, shouldn't it be something that you were going to do anyway, and she's just coming along? That makes it feel like you have a life and aren't basing everything around her.
Not that I have any ideas, since my life is boring as fuck.
>>27036379
Minigolf is actually good as you can be pretty playful.
Also, recommend having a couple of drinks just before the date, loosens you up and you feel less self conscious.
And there's nothing wrong with a kiss on the cheek - it's more assertive than a hug or (heaven forbid) a wave or some shit. Yet at the same time you're not a total creep leaning in to the lips.
>>27036379
Minigolf guy here, you basically just need an activity you can talk about between talking about your personal lives. That's why dinner is good, you can talk about the food, atmosphere, clientele etc.
The worse your personal life the more interesting the activity should be
>>27036416
Clothes and hair is good. Fitness is also good. Just about clothes though, just fucking copy someone you think is cool (a person that attracts women, preferably) (also, try to avoid fictional characters please). That's a good way to start on your path to not being a loser.
I like your way of thinking in the second half of the post. Don't go out of your way for her. Just take her to a place you would normally have lunch at. Not McDonalds or whatever, though. That's too low brow. Just double the price of what you'd spend at McDonalds.
I like the food idea because it gives you a lot of time to talk. A coffee is good too because its always hot and you gotta wait for that shit to cool, there's your time for talking.
I really think you're overthinking it. Just the fact that you're here talking to us and not the girl is already a problem.
Do you even like this person? If you aren't comfortable chatting with them via text then that's a very bad start. A conversation in person is even harder than texting each other.
>g-guys how do i become friends with people without speaking to them?
R9K: the question
>>27036035
Relax. Keep an emotional distance because this will clear your head of overthinking.
>>27036434
Agreed about the minigolf and drinks, although part of me thinks the alcohol might slow me down and make it harder to come up with conversation topics.
The cheek-kissing, I don't know if I can pull it off senpai. I can't remember the last movie/show I saw where the guy just kissed the cheek and that was it..
>>27036436
>The worse your personal life the more interesting the activity should be
Well my life is rock-bottom, so what are the top-tier interesting activities? Money is no object, I just want us both to have fun.
>>27036545
Thanks for the advices
>Do you even like this person? If you aren't comfortable chatting with them via text then that's a very bad start. A conversation in person is even harder than texting each other.
I mean, I have social anxiety, so I don't really feel comfortable with anyone. But we've chatted before and got along decently, which is good. Problem is gonna be stretching that out over 30+ minutes. I'm a really boring person, and I know she doesn't care about my nerdy interests. I know it sounds like we don't have much in common, but I like her and she liked me enough to give me her number, so there's something there. I guess the key is gonna be to find a topic we can both care a lot about.
>>27036936
How to Make her like you? Like I said. Be relaxed, calm, smile, and have a good vive. Don't show romantic interest. That means no love talk, no boyfriend girlfriend talk, no marriage talk, no what would you name your kids talk, none of that.
You can insert sexual jokes though. Not too sexual though, keep it pg13.
Getting a girl to like you is very easy. Either A she likes you physically and is open to get to know you. Or B, she doesn't like you physically and is not open to getting to know you that way.
The best we can do is hope she's into you and then the rest, just act like you're in control of the situation. Getting women to like you for who you are is easy. Just be relaxed, cool, calm and collected. You choose what you do, what you eat, you don't ask questions you live and if she wants to be a part of your life she will follow.
And don't get too fucked up with the drinks kiddo, don't want you throwing up or pissing yourself lol.
Brush your teeth so you don't smell like booze
>>27036605
>>27037091
I think I can relax, only problem is I might get too relaxed and forget what I want to say.
>Don't show romantic interest. That means no love talk, no boyfriend girlfriend talk, no marriage talk, no what would you name your kids talk, none of that.
But if you don't show your intentions, won't it just lead to the friendzone? If not on the first date, when?
>You can insert sexual jokes though. Not too sexual though, keep it pg13.
Got any examples? I'm not sure what you mean
Honestly I don't know why anyone would want to be a part of my life. I just feel like it's now or never with her. I want to wait til I'm truly ready, but by then she will probably have a bf.
