Share your worst masturbation experiences ITT
>quite young (10/11)- before internet had really taken off.
>learn touching my pepe feels nice
>staying the night at my grammas. One night
>in spare room surrounded by dead eyed china dolls and lacy doilies.
>only remotley stimulating material i can find is a guiness world records book.
>start stroking it to a picture of one of the spice girls in the entertainment records section
>accidentally pull foreskin all the way down from head for the first time (uncut britfag)
>faint stinging and burning- panic
>start to quietly sob while i figure out how to tell gramma i ripped my wee wee open
>eventually erection subsides- i have to physically yank the foreskin back up over the head
>so scared that i forgot to clean up the smegma stains on the sheets
>dont touch my dick again for like, two weeks.(a new record since i started)
>12 years old
>super horny
>know where a really hot girl my age lives
>plan to steal father's car and rape her
>1 am
>keys in ignition
>fucking floor the gas pedal
>hit dumpster
>decide "fuck it, ill just beat off here.
>walk up the driveway and tell parents i wrecked the car
>fucking flip shit
>send me to live with grandmother
>find out cost of repair was 2k
>parents divorce
>all cuz I wanted to fap
>mfw
>>25679831
Do kids really masturbate at 10 years old? My first time was at 15 or 16 years old, never even thought about it when I was younger.
Another story from OP.
>thirteen or so now
>staying at cousins
>older cousin has a copy of that year's fhm's sexiest 100 women
>"smuggle" it into only bathroom (p.sure that several people spotted me)
>start jackin it as i peruse the years's women.
>buffy the vampire slayer is holding a whip in her pic
>imagine she is dominating me
>imagine she tells me to shove the toilet brush handle up my ass
>okay
>start easing the brush handle up my bumhole- feels surprisingly good
>bounching around and wiggling my ass as i jack it feels good (makes the handle rub my prostate i guess)
>continue to jack it while strutting around the bathroom like a cockrel (has been at least half an hour now)
>toilet brush catches on the sink
>incredible stabbing pain in my bowels
>look behind me to see a trickle of blood running down the detailing of the handle
>oshit
>oshit
>yank out the toilet brush and start to clean up
>panicking, smear blood into the floor by accident
>can't get all the blood out the handle (intracite carving yo)
>decide to just leave it
>"sneak" out the toilet.
>its been over an hour now
>aunt:" are you ok anon"?
"Uh, yeah"
>nobody mentions anything
>paranoid that everyone now knows im a bumboy that mushed bloody poop into my aunts carpet
I probably should have gone to the doctor, but i thought it would be better to die than admit anything.
My shits were marbled with blood for a few days and i had a few stomach pains but nothing serious and lo g term i guess.
>>25680068
I wasnt really aware what i was doing- just that it felt good and i needed to look at pictures of girls in tight dresses to get my dick hard.
I discovered this watching an abba tour video with my parents, kek.
I also remeber being super ashamed- the go-to insult at my school was 'wanker'.
When i realised what i was doing
>NOO IM A WANKER ;_;
>>25679831
wtf, is that picture real? I knew ducks were evil
>>25680348
P. Sure its a swan
this is a fantasic thread, pls dont die
>>25680242
This is one of the best greentexts I've read in quite a while. Props to you, faggy.
>>25679831
>a year ago
>staying with my aunt and cousins for a few weeks
>they're very religious
>fap daily to extremely degenerate stuff on my phone
>one day my cousin sees me going to take a shower and says "what are you even looking at on there?" In a very accusatory way
>find out they have some kind of parental shit to monitor websites or something
>they thought it was my younger cousin at first, then realized it was me
>taking a shower later
>as soon as I start watching porn, aunt knocks on the door and asks "are you alright in there?"
>say yeah
>continue fapping anyways
>they all start giving me some weird glances
>don't really care
>>25680068
>My first time was at 15 or 16 years old, never even thought about it when I was younger.
You are an absurdly late bloomer. The average ages most people lose their virginity are 12-15, depending on the nation.
>>25679831
Every time I fapped as a kid I'd pee a little blood afterward.
>>25680068
I was doing it pretty regularly around my 12th birthday, did it several times at 11-
my worst faps are when i havent fapped in a while
its like my balls saved up too much cum and its just uncomfortable
it leaves my nusack aching and its just too intense to even be fun, it makes me curl up in a ball wishing it would just go away
this is why i dont get nofappers, i have to stay on top of that shit at least every 2 or 3 days.
>13y old me
>on small island with my parents during summer
>went to fap in the toilet
>cut kebab fag
>thought it was a good idea to put the tip of my dick into the bottleneck of fabric softener
>OMFG IT BURNS
>45 min walk soon after to the larger city with my parents
I know I'm not smart.
>>25680068
toddlers masturbate
you're just a cutfag
>>25682719
they sound like total squares
>>25683118
Iktfb
BLOXbloxBlox
>Few weeks ago
>Horny as fuck
>Decide to fap to gay porn
>Not grand enough
>Decide to put something in my ass and fap to gay porn
>Grab the condom I keep in my wallet, expired
>Hotel-sized bottle of lotion i've had for 2 years
>Broken dog toy, about an inch in diameter
>Get busy
>Bent over smearing lotion on my ass, impatient
>Shove dog toy in
>Start jerking
>This is mediocre
>Switch positions to on my back
>Switch to hand that was pushing toy in
>It's got a little shit on it
>Fuck it, i'm almost done anyway
>Finish
>Disgusted
>Pull out dog toy
>Condom is covered in blood and shit
>Shower and don't fap for 3 days
>All that for a 5 minute fap that wasn't even as good as a regular fap
Not even the first time i've done gay shit, just the worst.
