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Anonymous
2015-12-31 07:30:17 Post No. 25376957
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Anonymous
2015-12-31 07:30:17
Post No. 25376957
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I don't know what to look forward to next year.
It's nearly the end of 2015. I wake up hoping someday some sort of adventure will pick me up and out of this ennui, that I'll do something meaningful but it isn't going to happen. I'm a college dropout stuck in suburbia loosely working towards some sysadmin certificate so I can start my life as a wageslave and cog in the machine. In dropping out I've probably doomed the only shot at a meaningful relationship I had moving forward, but I hated what I was doing, hated myself, and was depressed to the degree that I had isolated myself in the world only to waste my time in map painting games and preparing Soylent so I could chug down a meal back at university.
Ian Murdoch killing himself hasn't help. Nihilism is setting in. And all the things I hoped to be have long since become fantasies. The world is an alien, hostile place and any values I hold seem to be at odds with it.
It's a bad time. I just don't know how to celebrate another year.
