Mental Illness Thread Time
Post your:
>feels
>meds
>diagnoses
>stories
>questions
And maybe:
>make friends
>find help
>have a good time
>>25270051
I was never diagnosed with anything other than anxiety and depression, but there's a lot of stuff I never told the doctors. Like very intrusive thoughts, and occasional voices.
They put me on antipsychotics for the anxiety, but they affected the other things too. Things were different. I couldn't tell if it was better, just, different. So I stopped taking the pills. Now whenever I hear voices, all they say is "take the fucking pills". I feel like shit all the time, like I used to. Now I'm starting to realize I'm dependent on these pills now. I couldn't function before, and now I can't function again.
I'm a slave to the pills now.
>>25270200
>very intrusive thoughts, and occasional voices
Describe the voices and the thoughts. Thoughts can be OCD or something. Voices depend on where they come from (internal versus external).
Antipsychotics are awful. Sometimes they help, they helped me for a bit, but I think long-term they're a bad solution. Have you tried therapy? Therapy helped me a lot with my issues and I think we have similar issues.
>>25270265
The thoughts are sometimes syntatic, sometimes not syntatic. They're thoughts that reference themselves instead of reality, so no matter what happens they don't stop.
The voices almost never talk to me or about me, but they say sentences that sometimes make sense, sometimes don't. It's like picking up a phone and hearing a few words of the conversation.
Therapy is hard to work for me. It's hard for me to know what I'm saying, or if what I'm saying is true. If that makes any sense. When I'm talking about things that are real, physical and right in front of me I'm fine, but beyond that, I just seem to say a lot of words that don't fit together and I find it hard to remember what's true and what's not.
yeah the antipsychotics were awful, which is why I stopped them. I couldn't sit still for very long, but at the same time I was exhausted all the time. I was going to bed at like 7 or 8 PM because I was just so exhausted already.
>>25270051
i have the mental illness where i assume i have mental illnesses
Emptiness so depression I guess, been there forever its almost my best friend
>>25270410
That's called being neurotic
>>25270479
>tfw depression feels like your best friend
It's not tho. Depression is insidious and evil. Fight it anon. Do not embrace your depression
>>25270365
My voices are always brief little things. Usually a woman calling my name. "Anon are you in there" "Anon" and so on.
Antipsychotics made me sleep something like 18 hours a day most of the time. It wasn't pleasant. I was fine to just sit in one place though. Time passed very quickly on those. I still have lingering side effects I think, even 6 months after kicking them. Maybe I'm just being paranoid though. Therapy was hard for me for the same reason. I feel like most of what I say isn't true or is embellished in some way but, really, I think that's just massive insecurity or low self esteem or something. Something something I'm not important enough to have real issues I guess.
>>25270051
>>feels
Fucked up my whole life. Got rejected due to low confidence and rejected a fine girl due to being dumb at 15, moved in another town, isolated myself socially, went in a shit tier uni in a class of 4, never had a gf, no real friends, never tried until this year but I'm just a weirdo obviously after all those years. I'm 23.
>>meds
Paxil for a week, hydroxizine for 2 months to sleep, finasteride for 1.5 years.
>>diagnoses
None right now and I don't have any diseases I just realized how much I fucked up. I ruminate all the time, have depression and anxiety. Thinking about ending my life because I can't function at all anymore.
>>stories
There's a slutty 7/10 younger Stacy interested in me from the place where I lift. She thinks I'm great at sex because I'm tall strong and muscular. It hurts me because my fuck ups are preventing me from getting that.
>>questions
Are there some meds to make horrible regrets go away that don't destroy your brain? Well I think I know the answer.
>>25270606
>Something something I'm not important enough to have real issues I guess.
This is something that bothers me constantly. I've still never admitted, except anonymously, that I have any problems at all. The doctors and school administration had to beg ME to take medical leave because I didn't think I had any grounds on which to apply for it. I still didn't. I'm going to keep going until I die or something happens because I can't let myself accept that I might have issues. As long as I can keep pretending I'm ok, then I am ok. I've come pretty close to losing that ability, even lost it, but I got it back and I can still fool people, so I must be fine.
>>25270696
I ignored a really nice and pretty and smart girl who probably would have pulled me from my shell and shown me the world because I was a dumb 17 year old. It happens. Looking back and being sad is a waste of time. Shit happens you know? Boat has sailed, find a new ride.
And yeah, that med is called heroin. It destroys your brain though. Try kratom for a bit maybe.
>>25270722
It's not good to lie to yourself. I had a nice little breakdown recently because of that actually. I wish I knew how to just admit that I need help. Even when I'm getting help I don't admit just how much I need. It's so strange.
>>25270051
>>feels
OK since I can distract myself 24/7 over winter break
>>meds
Alcohol
>>diagnoses
None
>>stories
Too apathetic to apply for job or PhD schooling
Family gave me shit on Christmas
Haven't hallucinated lately
Friends who just got home ignoring me
>>questions
How to neetbux
>>25270846
>Looking back and being sad is a waste of time.
I know man I managed to do it for 8 years but now it haunts me even if I don't think about it there's this pain that never goes away. The other day I went to my therapist then ran and almost felt fine and it slowly came back 2h later and there was nothing I could do about it.
>feels
everyone hates me, i'm worthless.. p much /r9k/ shit.
>meds
cymbalta, welbutrin, ativan
>diagnoses
panic disorder, depression w/ psychotic features
>stories
life is terrible, i hear people laughing at me occasionally.
>questions
how to disappear completely?
>>25271006
>how to disappear completely?
http://www.wikihow.com/Disappear-Completely
>>25270846
What gets me is that I really have it easy compared to a lot of people. I don't feel right admitting I need help, because there are other people out there with real problems and I feel like a tumbler retard faking mental illness whenever I start to accept that I need help or anything. Because I'm not sure if I'm faking it or not, I'm really not sure.
I told the therapist that. I told him I was faking it all because I am lazy and looking for any excuse not to do work. He doesn't believe me.
>>25270907
>How to neetbux
you need a diagnosis senpai. i was offered it, but went into uni desu
>>25271043
people will still remember me then. others still have hope for me somehow.
>feels
Loneliness, existential dread, ill, stupid.
>meds
Used to take zoloft but it made my chest hurt so I stopped
>diagnoses
OCD, anxiety, clinical depression, and bi polar
>stories
I have too many stories of how my mental illnesses have ruined relationships with family, friends, and people I have been in romantic relationships with.
>questions
At the risk of sounding like a normie, hhow do I maintain a current relationship with out going full autism or causing it in any way to affect my relationship?
>>25271219
You don't. You just b urself and hope they accept you. Hiding crazy makes crazy worse makes the breakdown worse makes the fallout worse. So, let it out naturally.
>>25271088
no him, so you are saying that if you are in uni you missed the neetbux train?
>>25272117
can't be on disability and getting uni money
>>25272248
so after uni i can still get neetbux? also how do i get them?
>>25272282
well, my therapist offered it to me, so i dunno. my mom gets neetbux, and the has a degree, so yeah, you can graduate and be on em
>feels
I hate how I'm still on this planet I know my real family isn't here and this planet is just make-believe I just want out to be with my real family and real people. I miss them so much.
>meds
refuse to take them
>diagnoses
bipolar 1 and borderline
>>25272324
thats nice to hear, i guess my therapist is just being a jew then..
>>25272330
What do you mean this planet is make-believe? And the thing about your real family, what do you mean?
24 year old mentally ill NEET here.
just wanted to say that. hee haww
>tfw still young and literally anything I say can be deflected with "it's just teenage angst" and "it'll get better"
Why am I, at 20, somehow different to a 25 year old?
Have no mental illnesses. Im just too fucking hard on everything and have problems feeling emotions.Now everything I feel is either hatred or sadness, and its not even sadness more like an empty desolated kind of feel. I keep alternating between hate and emptiness.
Oh, and I also hate eating with other people.
Life is pretty boring desu familia
>>25272347
clearly hes a lost astral being who simply stranded on our world lost and alone
>>25272379
you're not. i just turned 24 and i feel no different...
well maybe i do acutally
>Self diagnosis, the thread
>Attention seeking, the thread
>Trip fagging, the thread
This is why r9k is cancer. This shit's tumblr teir.
>>25272616
I've made these threads for like four years now off and on and we always get one of these posts. Are you feeling ok anon?
>my mother was sick her whole life because her dad was a miner and didn't know he wasn't supposed to have kids
>she had leukemia as a child, several brain tumors and finally uterus cancer which killed her a month ago
>she was never a good mother to me cause she wasn't able
>sometimes she told me that she regretted having me and it's obvious that she had a lot of resentment toward me
>my dad was psychologically abused by his parents during his childhood
>because of that he developed lifelong depression and anxiety
>he tried his best to raise me, but ultimately passed on all of his bullshit onto me
>my feelings for him alternate between pity and hate
>I resent them for having me because they obviously couldn't handle a child
>I see no point in life, am NEET, depressed, anxious and autistic
>can't hold a conversation, can't make friends, can't get job
>at 22 I feel like it's too late to do anything about it
>at this point I just hope I die soon
>>25272656
Doesn't make it any less true. Take your vagina elsewhere please.
>>25272687
I'm a guy tho. I've always been a guy
>>25272687
>implying having a vagina has anything to do with it
>>25272592
It is infuriating. At least I know that in a few years I can get help without the fear of "oh anon it's just a phase"
>feels:
Lonely but fucking hate people, not very motivated, neurotic, sense of dread. Outcast no matter where I go, always feel shielded off/pushed away.
>meds:
Adderall, Xanax
>diagnosis
Aspergers with severe ADHD and GAD
>stories
Very boring and dull life, on autismbux with no prospects of a better future. Reclusive as well so I don't have any stories I'm afraid.
>>25272674
You need an outdoor hobby for real hop on a motorcycle all worries vanish at 200KM/H+
>>25272379
Your brain isn't as deteriorated at 20 from depression and anxiety than a 25 year old
