So I finally got a girlfriend, /r9k/. The problem is she's actually, really depressed and will routinely go through phases of not wanting to do shit and just being otherwise miserable and it's really tough to be around her. She hasn't blamed me for anything or lashed out at me in any way, she's even told me she loves me multiple times, but I just feel like she's such a downer that it's making ME feel like shit.
I feel bad but it's also wearing me down pretty quickly. Should I just give her up? And if I do, how do I get over the fact that i'm definitely going to contribute severely to her depression?
What do you do/how do you react when her depression acts up?
I am internet best friends with a depression guy, I may have never met him irl but I will try my best to help.
>>25211006
I try to help her all the time but it feels like my advice really does nothing. I tell her to stand up for herself, to not worry incessantly, but she'll just deflect it by saying that's just who she is.
Then there'll be times like when her dog was hit by a car and killed where I can't really think of anything to say. Like what am I supposed to do? That's just a shitty situation.
Don't try to give advice on how to be happier/how to not be sad. They can't and won't change. that is the illness in itself. Just offer your most sincere presence.
If she blames herself for things that are beyond her control, just be there for her in presence (cuddling, holding hands for example) and tell her she couldn't have walked into the dogs brain to push some joysticks around inside that brain to prevent dog from running into the road.
Recognise that we are not doctors and therefore can't really "help" their condition. This is something they'll have forever too, medicine/treatment can keep it in control but we can't help them
we can only offer presence, but presence is something very very important too.
