I think this is it guys
>I haven't cleaned my room in years
>Noticed a few ants a few weeks ago, thought nothing of it
>moved some stuff around and found literally millions of the fuckers
>too scared to tell mum because autism
>order some cheap pesticide online
>mum is out at some dinner tonite
>dump all the pesticide in the attic in hopes of killing the fuckers
>play some vidya while it works
>pass out and wake up to the whole house smelling like cheap market deodorant
>i'm dizzy as fuck
>cats won't come inside
>dog is ill
>the ants have gone berserk and are fucking everywhere
There is no way i can hide this. She will be home in like half an hour and i think i have poisoned myself.
Should i just burn the house down now or should just wait until she gets home?
Kill yourself.
Do it now.
I'm not trying to be mean, but you know these things happen because you're a certain type of person right? The type of person who's probably going to kill themselves anyway. So just so it.
>>29837515
Air freshener?
ahahahahaha oh my god
anon. open all the windows and turn on all fans.
then start stuffing your trash in garbage bags.
make this right.
open all the windows and turn on a bunch of fans
>Open all windows
>Sit on front porch
>Stab self in gut
>Wait for mom to come home
>"Mom I've been stabbed"
>House will clear up while at hospital
You need to get some poison traps so the ants will carry it back to the nest and kill the colony. Problem will be solved in a day or two.
Also, bug bombs and sprays are a good way to blow up your house.
>>29837689
>>29837698
>fans
We don't own any fans. and the windows are open.
tell her you autistic piece of shit
> "Local man shut-in NEET turns his Room into a Gas chamber to kill a large colony of Ants, you'll never guess what happens next"
>>29837791
then flay your arms around near the windows to get the air moving.
>>29837515
Literally open a window.
>>29837515
WHO ELSE BUT PEPE!?
PEPE
PEPE
YOU NEVER REALLY KNOW WHAT HE'S GONNA DO NEXT
HE'S PEPE PEPE
REE REE REE REE GET OUT NORMIE
>>29837515
Run, find a group of homeless guys, get em to let you stay with them
Post pics of the ants and everything in the room
>>29837515
Open all windows and doors. Clean your fucking house throw away all trash and any food outside. Hurry anon
>>29837515
Post pics of your house, faggot
>>29837515
>Should i just burn the house down now or should just wait until she gets home?
Yes, now. And tape it
>>29837515
This is fiction, but...
If you kill the dog and/or cat, orally administer yourself a direct dosage of that pesticide, degenerate.
>>29837767
At hospital:
>"Why is there poison in your blood stream?"
>"Stabbed by a Dragon Dagger (P++)"
>>29837589
even if in jest, why would you make a comment like this?
you're so ugly inside. that wasn't even an attempt to be funny
how can you possibly be a robot and hate ants at the same time they're the most orderly and routinely animals ever known.
>>29837856
Hehe you funny :^)
>>29838780
i thought it was funny blox
Keep us updated robro
>>29838780
If this is op, you really honestly should. People that come to that as a reasonable fix to such a problem won't contribute to society.
Please fucking take pictures, let this be real
>>29838690
High kek
>>29839476
Mum came home, went berserk when she smelled the pesticide and saw the ants. Went even more berserk she saw i tried to burn the rest of the pesticide.
Dog might be ded, we are trying to find a vet right now. Afterwards we are going to A&E to make sure i haven't killed myself and then we are going to stay in a hotel for the night.
She also said that as soon as we get back i have 2 weeks to find somewhere else to live because she can't cope with me anymore.
I didn't get any pics before we left but i will head back and get some if the hotel is near by if not i will make a new thread tomorrow.
>>29839769
shit nigga you really fucked up
>>29837515
>he has ants and thinks its a problem
>he doesnt have flies, cockroaches, centipedes, mosquitos and owls flying around his house
Open all the windows, go outside and tell her what happened.
>>29839769
>Dog might be ded
>>29839818
>owls in your fucking house
Really?
>>29839769
>taking you to hospital after the dog goes to the vet
top lel, mummy is pissed off eh.
>>29837515
Anon, you absolutely have to take pictures.
>>29837767
This, OP. The house will air out while you're at the hospital and your mom will never know
>>29839769
RIP doggo
Also youre massively fucked
>>29837515
I'm pretty sure you can't kill yourself with ants poison, you will most likely en up very sick for a couple of weeks
fucking hell this is hilarious dfsdf
>>29838780
Please please kill yourself
I don't care if you insult me or make fun of me but kill yourself
Kill yourself right now
This sounds like some RimWorld fanfic
Guerilla marketing for upcoming Alpha 14 release?
>>29839892
Yeah.
She hasn't used my name or referred to me as son all night, Only said 'this retard' when talking to the vet
>>29839856
owls eat the mice/rabbits
>>29840193
Damn. How was she as a mother before this, good? bad? Is she good looking?
>>29840377
She's usually fine, she only usually gets bitchy when i do something wrong or if she falls out with someone. As for looks, she's my mum, she's not ugly or attractive in my yes
>>29839769
Holy shit. No way this is real. But if it is, good luck OP.
>>29837515
How old are you OP? I'm guessing you're in your 20s if she's really kicking you out
>>29837515
there are no words
>>29840894
I'm 22 and i'm terrified.
I always assumes i would outlive her and get the house. Shit i have no idea what to do.
Ha! You're in for it now you little shit. No more tendies for you.
>>29837515
care to give an update anon?
>>29841209
Currently at a premier inn, Too far to walk home, mum hasn't said a word since we left. Vet is holding the dog for the night.
>>29841333
jesus lad how could some ants fuck your life up so hard
>>29837515
Ops story hit me kinda hard. Thank hid in not in that position anymore.
Back then I was living in the garage. Found that there were roaches. Sprayed a shit ton of roach killing spray and say right back down and played vidya. Thank god sister came in and said something
>>29841333
Do you have a job? If not nows the time to get one. Work somewhere easy like barnes & noble or walgreens just to get some money flow. Get a small apartment in the area. It'll be ok anon, you're gonna make it.
>>29839769
Git fugged
Live in her crawl space
It is destiny
>>29837589
Seriously OP, just fill the house with gas and light a match.just kidding cover the furniture with plastic and fumagate. Clean up your house next time you lazy bum.
