I just lost my virginity to a 3/10 landwhale I met on Tinder. I fucking hate myself for sinking this low. She was a nice girl and bought me a burrito but god damn that fucking sucked. Good head but I could barely keep it up looking at her pig face. I had to finger her and she sat on my face which was probably the worst ordeal of my life. I fucked her in her car and nutted after like 5 minutes then thanked her for her time and took the bus home. Some shit Aerosmith song was on the radio and it killed the mood.
Either way if you're thinking about losing your virginity to a fattie because they're easy don't do it its not worth it. I wish I waited.
>bought me a burrito
lol wtf
ayy op fat chicks need love too. you're now guaranteed a place in heaven if it's real.
>she drove you
>she bought you food
>took the bus home
holy shit how old are you? get the fuck out kid.
>>29712241
Not everyone has a car you faggot.
>>29712241
18
so is she
this girl isn't attractive at all really but she's had sex multiple times. she is proof women have a much easier time getting laid.
>>29712328
>18
>already this desperate
Dude I would totally understand if you were 30 but you deserve it for being this retarded
>>29712373
you're a fool
a man's SMV raises as he ages
young men 18-21 have it the worst of anybody, nobody wants them
>>29712392
Kek fucking /r9k/ has a really autistic way of looking at the world
>>29712473
think about it
bitches all want older guys
guys with cars, guys who can buy booze, guys with money
don't blame the kid for a broken system
>>29712373
Everyone else around me has gotten laid and my friends are Chad faggots who constantly talk about how many girls they fuck so I didn't want to miss out before I went off to college. I just saw the opportunity and figured what the hell. She wasn't obese but definitely chubby and her face was the worst part. The tits were kinda nice.
I actually swiped right on her by accident lmao.
>>29712565
post a picture so we can see what youre talking about
just how overweight she is really does make a big difference, if it was only by like 30 or 50 pounds then no biggie but if the girl was an actual ogre like you described in the OP then that's some bad shit
>>29712125
im sure you reeked of pussy. dont shower, other females smell it and it grabs their attention, gets them thinking
>>29712600
dont laugh lads
on the right
body wasn't that bad
>>29712712
Dude I'm laughing hard right now.
>>29712712
o i am laffin boi
could i trouble you for your benin size? i thought the fat girls needed bbc
>>29712767
7 inches
100% white
>>29712751
Fu
>>29712712
You weren't kidding
>>29712712
>>29712789
post your face with the eyes blocked out or something i have to see this
lol
dude why would you do that
This was a few months ago
>Senior in high school, still a virgin
>Match with fat girl on tinder who's into me, could be worse, I like thickness
>we meet up, smoke weed then go to her car to hook up
>Get my dick sucked, finger her, get handjob, we were both super awkward because lolweed
>skipped a theater rehearsal to do this
>Would've lost my virginity but she told me she didn't want to take it once she found out
>openly said it was the worst hookup she'd ever had
>Drove me back to my school
>Had to drop me off halfway because some shit with her mom
>it was early march in Chicago so so fucking cold
>Walk through two towns to my school
>Play practice was halfway over, showed up high as shit two hours late and literally nobody noticed or really cared
>felt terrible
>wound up talking to some girl and crying because everything felt so sad and worthless. Idk if it was the weed or just me realizing how unsatisfied I am. Probably the second
I'm fucking jealous.
How many /10s are you OP?
Maybe I have a chance.
>>29712712
>how bad could it be
>see this
Holy shit
>>29712826
this is what you call desperation my friend
>>29712860
opportunity knocks and all that
mostly being a retarded hormonal virgin 18 year old male
>>29712869
that's eerily like me
we smoked a bowl too
>>29712877
idk like a 7
>>29712942
Chad meme, epic.
>>29712942
Yer 9/10 to me
>>29712942
WHAT THE FUCK
YOU'RE GOOD LOOKING
holy shit man.
>>29712942
we're moving into some dark times, that's for sure
>>29712942
>he's cute
fuck man, I don't even know how to respond to a cosmic wrong like this.
>>29712712
>>29712942
I'm laughing even harder why the fuck would you do this to yourself
Oh I'm fuckin Laffo mate, I'm so sorry
>7 inch dick
>100% white
>Chad face >>29712942
......
........
............
FUCKED THIS BEAST >>29712712
it's truly the goddamn end times. Good looking guys have to go for the literal scraps of women offered to them. It's fucked but all I can do is laugh.
>9/10 twink raped by a 0/10 whale
This to be an elaborate joke.
>>29712955
not a meme :(
>>29712962
i hope you're a girl
>>29713013
>>29712979
i'm on /r9k/ so that should answer your question
>>29713025
desperation yadayadayada
OP, think about this one
now, youve ruined that cow for guys who are actually in her league. she's just going to keep waiting to date some guy like you now, and the cycle becomes further embedded
>>29713105
oh no it aint buddy
>>29713159
Goddammit. OP you fucked up
>>29713159
So this is... a female sexual predator... impressive......................
>>29713159
I get you're a horny desperate 18 year old and are jealous of your friends but jesus christ man this wasn't the answer.
>tfw you get so thirsty you fuck the moon
This thread makes me want to kill myself desu.
>>29712712
>>29712942
>>29713159
depressing yet hilarious
>>29713159
You literally could've gotten a hot 9/10 Stacey easily. You could've gone to an anime convention and picked up two self hating 8/10 skeletons and had a threesome
dude you got played don't aim so fucking low this shit ain't right.. is this just the way it is now? gettin scraps damn
Losing your virginity isn't supposed to be enjoyable.
OP doing it right, at least he didn't hire a hooker.
>>29713256
i'm 5'8 so that hurts me somewhat.
>tfw no asuka/rei cosplay threesome
why have i never thought of this idea before
>>29713255
i'm actually getting a pretty good laugh out of it
>>29713221
holy shit i'm dying here
>>29713327
The height thing is mostly a meme dude. You only have to worry if you're like 5'3 or shorter than the girl. At 5'8 you'll usually be taller.
>>29712565
>everyone does it so I must do it too
Dude, you had shitty sex with an unattractive girl, you can't even brag about this with your friends
>>29713159
>she's been thru this before
holy Fuck my man.. repent
>>29712125
Hey whatever man.
You're no longer a virgin!
Think about it for a second. At least that monkey is off your back.
YOU DID WHAT HAD TO DO, SON.
I'm proud of ya. My first was ugly too. But she was a degenerate, not a sweetie pie like yours.
i actually have a fat fetish but i dont look good so its hard
fuck you OP
>tfw average asian girl and no qt3.14 white twink bf
this is too good to be true.. you really fucked up, you have no fucking idea how much you will regret this, and for the love of god don't even think about telling your friends
>>29712942
>I think I am attractive enough to bed attractive girls
>see OP
fuck.
>>29713427
would you settle for a homely slavic looking guy?
I'd fuck her she's pretty hot man.
You know, all my life I've been
>a failure with women
>had a high sex drive
>weak of character
>kinda gay
So once when I was 17 I went to the place of some friends of my parents. One of them was an old guy, in his late 50s I believe. And he started hitting on me. I let him take me to his bed nd suck my dick. Felt like shit about it but for years I kept going back when I couldn't stand the libido and eventually had him fuck me in the ass.
Almost every time, for the first few years I felt like shit for letting myself go so low.
Then Imaccepted that I am a loser and that I kinda liked it.
Don't take sex so seriously. Bust a nut when you need it, by the available means and forget about it afterwards.
>>29713427
op here
hi :)
>>29712712
>>29712942
Jesus fucking Christ, this is one entertaining thread.
>>29712712
>>29712942
This is just..sad. You're a genuinely good looking guy and all you can scrap up is something that looks like that?
Seriously?
Are we approaching the end times?
>>29713573
He must have autism or something.
>>29712942
Oh shit what have you done nigger
now you tried the worst, go do better girls now , wtf, everybody fucked a ugly girl here and then, i did a 5/10 and i wasnt proud but whatever, now i do 7/10 at least
>>29712125
>she sat on my face
Good god op, you're lucky to still be alive. She could've easily squished you, or suffocated you at least.
I did this too OP, except it was a brown Samoan version of thst land whale and we were both drunk at a party. But you're way more attractive than me and you did it sober so what the fuck? But I still feel absolutely shitty for sinking this low, I'd take my virginity back if it meant that gross experience didn't happen
I had the same situation when i was a desperate freshmen back in highschool. Sex was awful and she gave me the succ for 3 seconds before deciding not to.
She was to fat to mount so she sat on me and crushed my pelvis before grinding on my semi erection before cumming. Never came and didn't get any enjoyment out of it.
Never talked to her ever again as she moved away and sadly never had sex since so idk what good sex feels like.
I have those feels man
Post her nudes OP.
>knife eared elven bitch boy twink fucks what looks like a monster from an old school yugioh card, with the excuse being "hormones and desperation"
Being a virgin doesn't feel so bad now. Having to stoop that low for some make believe spook tale (losing your virginity)
Zoo wee mama.
>>29712942
>>29712712
abandon all hope, the sexual market is fucked
wizardhood here i come
if you ever see a fembot thread complaining about how its harder for women to get laid then men show them this thread
>>29713487
Maybe if you lived near me which isn't likely because I live on the west coast in Mexican and Asian central.
>>29713221
11/10
best new kek
>>29713427
go dumpster diving elsewhere, chink slut
op here
i forgot to mention one thing that makes this even worse
i actually have a date lined up with a much more attractive girl on saturday. she's a 6/10 not fat and is actually interesting to talk to and attracted to me. i thought she was going to be my first. she didn't text me back for hours so i became paranoid i fucked up with her and went back on tinder. i matched with the landwhale on accident and she messaged me saying she was "looking for fun". i thought i lost the other opportunity so i took advantage of that. but it turns out the first girl was just busy with her family and fourth of july shit and its still on. i could've waited 5 more days and i would've (probably) lost my virginity to a girl i could have actually been proud of.
nevertheless its a funny story.
>>29713793
pls be in portland
>>29713866
>this fucking guy
Holy shit man you're pretty fucking stupid.
>>29712125
Lol except for the fact that tit wasnt my first time, this is exactly an experience I had. Did you have difficulty finding a good position when she sat on your face because of the lack of space in the car? We did lol.
She even got me a burrito after like you. I hated it and regret it but I guess I put on a good show because she was still keen for more
>>29713499
That's even more pathetic than op.
>omg so horny better let an old man fuck me in the ass
Dude just jerk off. I'm proud to be a virgin if it means I'm not a pathetic worm like you.
>>29713866
Post the other girl for comparison
why didn't you go to a prostitute fagit, i'm 18 and that's what i plan to do by the end of the year
>>29712712
>she wasn't obese
That isn't obese?
>>29714030
i figure there's no point if they're not genuinely attracted to you
>>29713960
nah
i actually care about her somewhat
>>29712392
A NEETs value precipitously drops, on the other hand.
>>29714054
not in the good ol us of a
check out walmart or the south sometime
>>29714090
Sad how people think obese = walmart scooter people in the US nowadays. It makes it hard to visualize what people are describing, half the time when people say "she was chubby" they mean "she was a whale". There is a difference.
I've been feeling suicidal these last days, I needed this laugh thanks op.
>>29712712
nigga her face looks like fucking shrek's wife fucked gollum
What's up with all these pity-burritos?
>>29714198
I just spit out my water fuck you.
>>29712712
Wew laddy
I fuck fat girls and I wouldn't even fuck that meaty looking troll
>>29713499
At least you arent this guy OP, seriously you could of just fapped you dumb fucking faggot. I reject girls 1000x better than this shit, fuck maybe I should just start fucking them
>>29713159
>she's done this before
WHAT
THE
FUCK
>>29714560
Desperate men.
>>29714069
who cares if they're attracted to you or not, pussy is pussy
find a hot prostitute
I did this as well amigos and am good looking like OP. Don't do it. Defiling yourself in such a way just to lose V is not recommended.
Who you fuck shapes your life.
>>29712942
I haven't laughed this hard in so long
We are all so fucked
This Chad is resorting to fucking landwhales.
I'm so fucking done
Ayyyy
I lost my virginity to a fat 19 year old with 2 kids that bought me Wendy's. We should be friends
>>29715159
What the fuck is a Chad now? This guy is just some skinny skellington dweeb who probably just only got out of high school. Sure he isn't bad-looking but he's mostly likely a socially awkward and retarded fuck like all teens.
>>29715330
He's got good aesthetics. In 3 years or so if he lifts more and gets a real beard he'll be Chad tier. Regardless he could fuck 8/10+ teen poon right now not this forest troll.
wow.
now i appreciate losing my virginity to a hooker
no offense OP you actually took the time and effort to do this. its part of life.
>>29712712
OH HOLY ONE PROTECT US ALL
>>29713793
I r v i n e
R
V
I
N
E
>>29712125
Wow. Good job retard now you'll never be a wizard.
You missed out.
t. lich
>>29712712
>>29712942
screencapping this shit
this is how desperate robots are
>>29715479
>chinlet
>good aesthetics
No. OP looks terrible and there's no shame in rooting a fatty out of desperation. I did it once and my next root 2 years later was a 9/10
>see thread
>oh maybe there is still hope for me
>see >>29712942
Well shit...
>>29716333
>Le ebin chadbot meme
DELETE THIS
you are a trooper man. respect. pussy is pussy.
>>29712125
>Some shit Aerosmith song
NA NA
NA NA
LADY LOOKS LIKE A DUDE
>>29716333
Ocerino
>chad cant score anything but a whale
you must take one for the team and marry her, outing yourself from the market
Chad-off: who is actually Chad?
A. >>29712942
Vs
B. >>29716333
I take A easy.
>>29716668
A is very cute and has a nice jawline/hair but he looks young.
B is more masculine and confident and looks stronger
A will draw teen/college girls and gays, B will draw older women and Stacies.
>>29716668
>>29716762
You guys are delusional. A is quite attractive, but B bless him out of the water. He is the chill 20 something that appeals to every woman of every age group. A looks like a stoner. Maybe if A shaved his shitty beard it'd be closer.
B is literally textbook Chad. A is a very attractive robot.
>>29712869
how did she find out
fml we really have no hope once they find out
i cant believe we live in a world where being a virgin is bad
what is wrong with women
Pic related, women crying over how hard it is for them to get laid
>>29716905
This. B looks like a quarterback, A looks like a weed dealer that fucks indie girls.
My God dude. You had nothing to lose from just jerking off and waiting and putting on some muscle to attract the nerd girls who are shy.
The memory is with you forever now and it's always going to be complete cringe
>>29712392
Yeah but, your dick stops working around 30 so by the time you're Social currency and your SMV increase you won't enjoy it nor perform good anymore. It's a no win situation.
>>29716920
Just don't say it....
Don't talk about your love life or that of the women you're involved with. To the guy you quoted, he shouldn't have talked to that friend girl of his about it either....
Be like Mike Tyson, "I only let women interview me who I fornicate with."
>>29717045
Maybe YOUR dick stopped working at 30
>>29712712
good god OP
wtf man
i actually spat out my protein shake
fuck you op
i want to make a movie based on this story
>>29712125
>picked you up
>bought you dinner
>fucked you in her car
>left you to get your own ride home
Sounds like you were her booty call OP, zozzle
>>29717222
This entire thread is comedy gold
>>29713632
TOPKEK
OPKEK
PKEK
KEK
EK
KKK
>>29712712
>>29712942
OP, from the depths of my heart I thank you, because I'm 100% sure no matter what shit happens in my life, no matter how hungry I'll ever get for sex, I will never, never be THIS desperate. I'm not joking when I say you've just made my week, hell, maybe even month. NOTHING can top this. I wish you the best.
>a fat girl would rather be chad's pump and dump slampig than date a nice guy on her own level
lmao 2016
>>29718650
it's [le current year] how can you not applaud this beautiful courageous strong talented woman
>>29716936
She's got a point. If I have sex with a girl I'm not attracted to I basically do bare minimum to get my P into her V, and then I just do some half assed thrusting until I come. Then I leave. That can't be that enjoyable for them.
Men will have sex with most women, but that doesn't mean they are actually sexually attracted to the women.
You're a good man OP.
Hope no one you know finds this thread. Might be too late because it's on leddit.
>>29712942
Well for what it's worth you're really good looking.
But... does that make it even worse?
>>29718743
read the reddit comments
someone already did
at least he's not in high school anymore
>>29712942
wew
i hope this is a joke
>>29713734
>"zoo wee mama"
kek'd
>We're all gonna make it bruh!
Fuck it I've had enough. Finally decided to give up on women. 21 right now so I can work towards building a proper career for myself. 9/10 hookers & escorts here I come. Exciting times ahead. Remember, no matter what they say we all die alone anyway.
Oh fuck, I'm crying.
I just got off work, I needed this.
>>29712125
cant belive that you are soo fucking stupid op, you could literally fuck 7,8/10 stacies but welp... and also respect aerosmith for fucks sake
>>29712942
Dead thought you were RL Grime. Wtf OP you could easily snag a hot girl.
>>29713221
im fucking dying best thread ive visted durning last few months
OP could fudge his age a bit and get laid on underage tinder, but I don't see why you guys are saying he could be fucking "7's or 8's" on big boy tinder where there are buff rich adult men around every corner. Not that he's bad looking he's just some 18 year old kid and girls on tinder, even 18 year olds, would probably go for the older more experienced guy.
I FOUND THE THREAD HOLY KEK
>>29712942
>White
>Not fat
>Average height
>Great bone structure
>resorted to having sex with a manbear-pig
What the fuck is wrong with you?
>>29718756
Fuck sake why is it on reddit?
Why can't you faggots stay in containment.
>>29712125
If you feel like losing your virginity it doesn't matter what the girl looks like. She could be a 9/10 start or 2/10 landwhale. You'll still feel like shit if you had no emotional connection to them and rushed through the ordeal anxiously.
I had my first time with a 5/10. Nothing special. But she was lovely and looked after me during it. We played music I liked and just slept and cuddled afterwards next to each other for hours. I don't regret it.
If I had the chance to go back and swap her out with a 10/10 I wouldn't.
thread must be archived
>>29712942
you're hot desu, I would of fucked you
Thank you so much OP, I've never laughed this hard since high school.
