When you guys say you have social anxiety, what do you really mean?
So often it seems it comes out they're talking about being nervous before big social gatherings and approaching the opposite sex and such, which just seems like a pretty normal shyness.
How "rare" is it when you're so anxious you never leave the house and get a panic attack whenever you receive an email/text? Like that level of anxiety.
Let's not make this into a competition, I just want to know where it comes from common issue to being a mental case, and maybe even having Avoidant PD.
Why is she totally nude
>>29617974
When I think about anxiety. It usually involves me staying up the entire night before I have to meet some people because its physically impossible for me to sleep due to the constant worry. Eventually I will vomit multiple times and be drenched in sweat. Happens every single time.
I've seen and talked to many people with it and there are different forms.
When you say 'average' social anxiety thats not really the point.
I've never asked a girl out, never initiated a conversation unless I forced myself, will never talk to new people.
I've met the kind who can't keep a conversation going or don't want to. People pick up on this stuff really fast in a conversation so socially anxious people are always in a 'I gotta leave this conversation' state.
If its just approach anxiety or the like thats not really an issue. The problem is that robots don't deal with the feelings and sit on them so they turn them into massive brooding issues and wonder why they hate themselves.
That's 'social anxiety'. I think normies such as yourself misunderstand that robots are in a set mode of mind, its not 'just' the social anxiety, there's low self esteem, rushing into relationships(saying way too much the first time you meet), no clear direction for the relationship, shit boundaries, etc.
>>29619237
>I've never asked a girl out, never initiated a conversation unless I forced myself, will never talk to new people.
>tfw
When I don't know what to do I tend to lock up and do nothing as my brain rushes through a bunch of unrealistic scenarios about what could possibly happen.
>>29617993
for the pic and a discount
I think SAD is generally defined as being levels of anxiety towards socialising that are disabling in any way. So nervousness before a party wouldn't count, but being unable to go to the party probably would.
I suffered from SAD and panic attacks for 10+ years. Used to literally vomit every morning (yeah, practically every single morning for 2+ years) before going to school, so I know how intense it can be.
I think SAD is about not having the tools to control your justified reaction to other people. This is what annoys me about a lot of the attempts at therapy regarding SAD, that a lot of them try to act as if people really aren't out to get you - basically normie propaganda. The reality is that the fears a person with SAD has are pretty justified, it's just that they don't know how to manage these fears and their bodies reaction to them.
I've thrown up from nervousness when I got an email from my boss once and I didn't know if he was mad or not. I always spaghetti every time I order stuff from fast food places, so much so that I generally try avoiding them altogether. I've never made a single friend on my own, without another pre-existing friend (usually from childhood, before I had social anxiety) there to break the tension for the first several months. If I know I have to go in and see my boss I get nervous several days to a week beforehand, and wake up every morning feeling like I'm going to shit myself. I can't go on teamspeak, vent, or skype ever because I get too nervous (sometimes I sit in and listen if I have to for a game and even then I get intense butterflies). I've been diagnosed with GAD but I don't take medication because I still live with my parents and my mom would freak out and just make things more stressful if I did (also I'm not sure if it would really fix anything since I'm pretty sure most of my issues stem from cripplingly low self esteem).
>>29617974
Pretty much every day, I get moderately upset about being seen when I leave the house. I do a lot better once I get outside, but leaving is difficult because I am alone and I have more mental space to imagine how much everyone is going to hate seeing me.
When I am invited to spend time with people or go to parties, I often perceive them as being disingenuous. I have ruined several friendships by not taking them up on their invitations repeatedly because I could not bring myself to believe that tehy actually wanted my company. These were people that I liked a lot and needed in my life and I simply did not go out to see them when they asked because my anxiety told me "they are just giving you pity and you always ruin their fun by being who you are."
I am a very lonesome person because of this.
I can get out and do things, and sometimes I even get along really well at parties, but getting myself to believe I can enough so that I can shower and put on clothes and go outside is sometimes impossible.
>>29617993
>>29619366
Sauce is WANIMAL btw google it
>>29619449
Oh and I've never mentioned anything about my anxiety in social situations (hence not being diagnosed with SAD), and the GAD diagnosis just happened to come about due to issues I had with insomnia.
>>29617974
When I'm around people I don't know I want to sink below the floor.
For example, at my highschool graduation I was waiting in the music room to say goodbye to the conductor. Everywhere around me, people were saying goodbye to friends, sharing friendships that had lasted four years. Somehow I had been in the symphonic band four years without making any friends. I realized I was standing by the wall alone, yet again, as I had every day during school. I eventually sperged out and speed walked out without saying goodbye to the only teacher I have ever liked. Still feel bad about it today, but if I got the opportunity again it would probably have the same outcome.
>>29617974
Social anxiety isn't real.
>>29619439
>I think SAD is about not having the tools to control your justified reaction to other people. This is what annoys me about a lot of the attempts at therapy regarding SAD, that a lot of them try to act as if people really aren't out to get you - basically normie propaganda. The reality is that the fears a person with SAD has are pretty justified, it's just that they don't know how to manage these fears and their bodies reaction to them.
This is an incredibly insightful perspective I wish most therapists/SAD-related advice would adopt. The notion that people with SAD are unwarrantedly paranoid simply gaslights them -- it doesn't take into account that they were probably bullied or pressured and have completely rational fears because of that. When they aren't allowed to acknowledge that they just feel even more stressed that they can't "just relax" for some reason, as normies who've been lucky enough to not be bullied can.
My entire body starts shaking whenever I'm the center of attention. Makes it pretty hard to speak when your jaw isn't moving how you want it.
>>29619530
Thanks. Yeah well a major reason I say that is that a while back I listened to this audio series "overcoming social anxiety step by step", and while it had a few good points, it really annoyed me that the guy seemed to be entirely downplaying the reality of judgement and so on. I know that I judge others on their physical appearances, I know that other people do the same. The best I can do as a person morally is try to over-ride my natural reaction to how people look, or my aversion, or sometimes my irrational hatred. Ignoring that people are like this, ignoring that some people are malicious at points, or that at points people are neurotic and petty, is an avoidance of the core issue.
I think it's possible to recognise that you might be going into a situation where you're going to be judged, where people may reject you on some level... but have the mental tools to be able to cope with that without panicking or spiralling into depression and avoidance.
I can't really talk to women anymore. I mean what they say registers in my brain, but it's like my reponses are just automated at this point I'm so afraid of what they think of me. Don't even look them in the eye when talking to them.
Can't talk to guys either because the typical 21 year old male and myself have absolutely nothing in common. I don't party, go out, socialize, make plans, anything. When I'm not at work I'm at home playing a video game or on 4chan. A couple years ago I would have told you this was out of choice and that I am above those things, but I now realize it's because I cannot mentally handle those things.
I can't go to the pool for crippling fear of judgement over my skinnyfat body. My skin has been practically see through for 10 or so years now. I'm also constantly readjusting my shirt afraid it's gripping me in the wrong places and too much fat is showing. This only gets worse when I sit down.
I don't really even talk to family anymore. I'm away for the summer on an internship and have not spoken to any of them since I moved. And when I'm at school I don't message them either. I don't know why I am this way. I wish I wasn't so desperately but it honestly just feels like nature to me. Like this is how I am meant to be. Everyone that I meet tends to think I'm an asshole because at this point my face rests into a natural frown. When I was in middle school people told me my laugh was annoying and my smile was ugly so I've really stopped even bothering.
I'm not sure whether or not this is social anxiety or APD or if it's nothing. I don't really care anymore beyond that I simply wish I wasn't this way.
>>29617974
It's pathetic, I can't look someone in the eyes without starting to sweat and feeling ill, It's what caused me to drop out and never go outside.
>>29619237
You made me cry. I guess I have robot anxiety.
Not OP, but what are you guys so afraid of? I don't understand. What's so stressful about interacting with people?
>>29619781
I'm fine until I run out of shit to small talk about.
I run out of news to talk about and I'm spent in like 20 minutes.
It's the silence after that makes me anxious.
>>29619808
But you don't have to talk constantly the whole time, the other person has the conversation to uphold too.
>>29619837
Sometimes they do, but most seem to have a hard time taking a hint that the conversation is over from my end.
>>29619781
People have expectations. We get anxious we won't fulfill them.
Mainly with conversing. I tell a few sentences about whatever is on my mind and then people expect me to keep going and I have nothing left to say.
I've always been afraid to ask someone out because I don't know how to expect things to go. I've avoided kisses because grills would expect me at 18 years old to have some experiences and know what I'm doing but I have no idea what I'm doing and am afraid I would be laughed at for being bad at it.
Logic doesn't really come to mind when you have fears
>>29619781
Im fine talking to people. Its after where i over analyse everything i said and how others reacted. I became scared that others were judging me and i was only there to be "laughed at." I guess its paranoia in a way. I know Its a great way to lose contact with people...
>>29619781
It's hard to communicate but let me give you an example. I had trouble talking to girls and would just feel unable to respond to them. This in itself wouldn't have been so bad, but the fear that others would notice and comment on this, combined with the feeling of helplessness and isolation I'd feel at some parties as I saw everyone having normal conversations and myself being slowly excluded by my own inability make parties a really negative thing to me. It meant that I'd start anticipating bad things happening if I went out.
Same thing with any 'school' based experience. Everyone always seemed to make friends quickly, I was always way too self-conscious and had this tendency to focus on my own internal states and become hyper-sensitive in those situations. Any situation where I'd be forced to deal with new people (like a new school\uni), I'd watch everyone else easily make acquaintances and become easy and comfortable, while I'd become frozen and isolated, and then things like 'group activities' would expose me as incapable of taking part. People would think I was being snobbish (because of the way my face looks) and not really make any effort to bring me in too. So any situation like that became associated with pain, so much so that even if I can rationally see that it won't kill me, my whole body starts reacting to even the idea of it. So I avoid those situations, and the fear doesn't get overcome, it gets worse if anything (upon triggering).
>>29619677
This thread is too sad, I see too much of myself. I wish no one else was like me, but these threads tend to make me realise, while I am alone, others are alone like, and I would like to say sorry to all the robots like this. Not because I ams sorry, but no one will ever apologise to you for it. Sometimes I just want to run away to a place where I am not me, but them, the normies. Desole robots.
>>29619893
Its the same for me as well. I don't have SAD since I can talk to people fine. But afterwards when i'm alone I completely over analyze what I say and do. I also get paranoid and think they are making fun of me behind my back and "letting their true feelings" out about me.
All I can say is don't ever smoke weed because it makes it 100x worse even when you're not high. FUCK.
>>29619957
>tfw laying in bed at night unable to sleep
>running through your mind everything you did that day and even years ago analyzing it
>thinking of all the things you should have done differently or what other people might be thinking
>and it will be just the same tomorrow
>>29617974
I used to have quite bad social anxiety and depression.
I literally could not do simple things like making a phone call. The few times it was something important, I'd muster up the courage to try (usually took a couple of hours) but when the person on the other end picked up I'd just freeze and no amount of trying would get me to even speak a single word.
I never left the house other than for absolute necessities. Travelling to doctor appointments to get meds if my parents couldn't take me was the only thing I tried to do for myself and that usually totally failed.
I'd try to catch the bus. I could barely handle giving the change to the driver but he'd been doing that route for years and I knew him so it wasn't too bad. If anyone at all was on the bus I'd get off immediately and walk instead. If I saw anyone on the walking path coming the other way I'd have to scurry off down an intersecting path and wait until they went past or turn around and walk backwards until I found an intersecting path or somewhere I could hide.
My doctor was very understanding and let me in through the back but if she didn't do that there's no way I could've dealt with the waiting room.
Basically, crippling/paralyzing fear of anything that involved other people.
>>29617974
I never leave the house and always panic when I do.
>>29620349
That sounds rough anon. What happens when you're forced into a situation where you have to be around other people for extended periods of time (like public schools)?
>>29619237
you seem to know a lot about this - what did you read to educate yourself this much?
i'm a robot in therapy right now, but it doesn't seem to be helping much.
it's like the therapist wants to treat the anxiety, but the real problem is the shame and self-hatred. it's like i'm fooling her
>>29619974
This, a had a really good friend that was a pothead but weed would redline my anxiety almost everytime. Alcohol is great though but I refuse to drink any more because it destroyed my fathers life. Now I just suffer constantly wanting to talk and flirt with girls but unable to do so do to an irrational fear of what they think of me.
>>29617974
I'm no expert but I would guess social anxiety would be to the level where it become debilitating. Ie: you can't go to work because you're scared of co workers or something
>>29620449
I dropped out of school basically as soon as my anxiety started getting bad near the end of year 11. I had ample medical documentation so the school was able to pro rata my results from when I actually attended and I completed year 11/12 despite going to class only a handful of times in year 12.
I'm almost completely fixed after many years but I occasionally still have traces of SAD - I'll get a twinge of panic when my phone rings or I'll freeze up for a second when talking to people.
I'm a completely different person to who I was when I had bad SAD though.
I thought SAD was seasonal affective disorder, where the short cold days of winter made you depressed.
I don't see how that is relevant to social anxiety. What does it mean in this context?
>>29620709
SAD = social anxiety disorder. GAD = generalized anxiety disorder
ASS = acronyms seriously suck
I can faint walking in public alone
I get put on the verge of panic attacks if someone from 4chan asks to be my friend.
I feel like I'm dying sitting in waiting rooms.
If I'm walking in public, I'm fine up until I notice something weird I've done/doing, then I'm walking 100% manually and feel like I'm going to break down.
I will literally never contact someone first because of the anxiety I feel whenever I try to.
Last time I seriously thought about the future, having to get a job, spend the rest of my life working and around people, I tried to force myself through the feelings but instead wound up having constant panic attacks for two days. That was back when I didn't know what they were though and I thought I was going crazy and was beginning to develop schizophrenia or something.
>>29620884
shut the fuck up
>tfw You have been muted for 2 seconds, because your comment was not original
>>29620944
why? what did I do?
I don't understand.
>>29620884
I'm like this and have sought help. Do it you as well.
>>29620993
>panic if someone on 4chan asks to be my friend
lets be friends
>>29621020
how did you seek help?
what did you look for in a therapist?
how did the sessions go from the first few?
were you prescribed medications?
details please
>>29621020
Getting help means adding another bill to my parents pile because that stuff is only covered by private health insurance which we don't have.
I also can't talk to my parents about my problems, I can't bring myself to do it and have never told them anything before, if I did tell them now I'm not sure how they'd react or even if they'd believe me at this point.
>>29621069
It doesn't bother me after I say that it makes me want to kill myself because I know people are only doing it for that reason. Sorry.
>>29620884
I'm pretty bad at things too. You have to start small. Go to libraries or stores. Just be around people. Have some made up objective for being there, but do it for actual practice for being around humans. Remember there are billions of humans, so it's okay to fuck up around a few when practising. Being a weirdo is fine most of the time desu
>>29621241
>still want to be friends
ok :(
>>29617974
I'm somewhere in between. My social anxiety definitely causes me to avoid other people when possible, but I've become decent at faking it when necessary. I often rehearse before making phone calls, for example.
It does keep me from living a normal life with friends, romantic partners, etc. When I listen to normies at work it's obvious that interaction is much more difficult for me, but I seldom have panic attacks and can basically survive on my own.
>>29617974
they mean they are shy, like everyone ever, but are also too lazy to try
>>29621499
This tbqh. Faking it is unpleasant and tedious but it does work 99% of the time atleast for me. I don't get panic attacks too. Alcohol is a fucking blessing and works like magic but I'm already addicted and currently trying to quit. Gave in 3 days ago after a month of sobriety. I really fucking want a drink right now pfff.
>>29621595
Okay, 99% maybe is a bit of an exaggeration but it feels that way because with age I'm still anxious but I've learned not to give a fuck that much. It is part of my personality after all. I don't feel like I'm articulating my point that good...
