>post a page from your journal, robots
>1/01/2015
That's it. I bought a journal at the end of 2014, wrote that in there a couple days before the new year. Planned on writing in it everyday.
But I didn't. And what's the point really?
"Today I pretended to be a roastie and pissed off a bunch of my fellow robots. Than a REAL roastie made a thread. Boy, was I angry"
r9k is kind of my blog anyway.
>tfw 3 months of 2015 archive is forever lost
02/01/12
>Im going to pretend this day never happened. This day MUST NOT have any record of it ever happening. As far as I'm concerned this day never existed.
What the fuck did I do?
>11/25/13
>And [Anon] sent me a link to this weird website called 4chan.
It was all downhill after that.
4-22-16
I met up with Michael today. I thought we were meeting up to discuss how we would be able to afford to move to San Jose. But he dropped this huge bombshell on me. "[Anon]", he said, "I'm not gonna be able to move to San Jose. Isabel and I are gonna get an apartment together, down in Gilbert".
I wanted to scream.
"When did you decide this?" I ask.
"We've been talking about it for a couple months now. It just wasn't set in stone. I didn't know how to tell you."
Well we've been talking about San Jose for years! We've been best friends since fourth grade! Why does this take priority!
I don't say that, though. I just suggest all three of us moving to San Jose, for some bizarre reason.
"No, [Anon], that just won't work. She doesn't really like you"
I don't like her! But I'm not such a spoiled brat, that I can make it work.
But I know that's not really the reason, so I don't even say that.
"Why didn't you at least let me know this was a possibility before?"
"What does it matter? Who else would you move with?"
I get up right there and leave. I'm never talking to this faggot again.
I might just take the greyhound to San San Jose tomorrow. I don't care about my so-called friends and family anymore. I don't care about my stuff. I don't care if I have to live on the street. Anything's better than staying in Phoenix. I'm done. I really mean it.
>>29371567
So did you make it to San Jose, anon?
>>29371049
>>29371049
May 5th
School is like a zoo. Filled with posters that give a vague, assumed description of what we are, saying "what we like to do" and stuff like that. They tell the people on the other side of the glass that it's a habitat for us to roam in, that it's natural for us, but that's only what they say. The only pictures they take of us are when some of us find enough fleeting pleasure to smile for the camera. The animals born and raised in captivity are contempt there because they think it's good enough for them, they haven't seen anything outside the walls, it's the world for them. They go out of their way to defend it when someone speaks the truth. People come and go, they make sure that they only see what they want to see of us. They tap on the glass. Wake us from our numb. That's all we'll be, just the animals in the zoo. While your physical body can leave it, your mind stays there, ever reminding you of your time of slavery. Memories that cannot be forgotten, actions that cannot be undone, experiences you are forced to relive again and again. The biggest animals in the zoo are put on constant display, are made to do tricks. Roar for the crowd. The others are shoved off to a cage in the back, woken only to be fed.
I almost feel bad for the people around me.
Almost.
>tfw that was 3 years ago
Though this was pretty much the only page i could show, the other stuff is pretty much just edgy nonsense cause i can't write that stuff anywhere else.
>>29371049
>2/6/2016
Dammit, she's doing it again! She starting to ignore me now. It's like she is trying to taunt me or something. Why am I still trying? I've been trying to do this for a year now and she keeps doing this. I feel drained. I just need to stop.
>>29372136
>the other stuff is pretty much just edgy nonsense
And what you posted is???
>>29371633
Of course not. I can't live on the street.
What I had to do was move back home. I started saving all my money, that way I can move to San Jose in a year by myself. I'm already looking for jobs out there. Hopefully with a decent job and a nice savings, I can make ends meet for a while when I finally go.
June 15, 2014
Dear Diary,
Had an interesting interaction with a customer at work today. He kind of looked like Ray from Boomtown, only shorter and fatter. He comes through the drive thru (which Tara was manning today) and asks, "Can I get 4 crunch wrap supremes, subbing beans for beef, guacamole for sour cream, and onions for cheese?" She inputs this into the register.
"And can I get 4 bean burritos without cheese, but add rice, guacamole, and tomatoes?"
"Also, can I get nachos but with guacamole and pico de gallo?"
She tells him his total. He is slightly surprised by the cost but she tells him adding some of these extras will jack up the price. He says this isn't the case at his local Taco Bell. I doubt that but she tells him that that's how we do things here.
A few minutes after he gets his food, he comes into the Taco Bell and approaches the counter.
"Hey, buddy" he says to me "the burritos have cheese in them!"
"Oh, sorry about that." I say. "We can make you 4 new ones"
"If I'm paying more money, you guys shouldn't fuck it up so royally! Is it really that fucking hard?"
"Look sir, when you come through the drive thru, we have to make your food quickly, and when it's customized like yours, it's more prone to being messed up. That's our fault, and we will make you new burritos. However, I would suggest coming into the store next time if you order something like this"
"The Taco Bell I usually go to never screws up, and I always use the drive thru. This is fucking ridiculous! I want 4 new burritos, and ALL my money back"
I tell him repeatedly that I can't do both. He can either have his money back for the burritos ONLY, or 4 new burritos.
He asks to talk to our manager.
After arguing for 10 minutes, they reach a compromise: he can have his money back for the burritos and 4 new burritos for his time.
I guess he feels like he won cause he gives me a smug smile as I hand him his food.
(Cont)
>>29373386
(Cont)
Boss man tells me I handled it right, but he gave into the "fat fuck" cause it wasn't worth the time or attention he was bringing.
I hope he doesn't come back.
After work me and Keith went to a backyard show. The bands all sucked, and I was too nervous to talk to anybody, so Keith just stayed with me until the bands went on, and then we left immediately after. I feel like I got in the way of him having a good time. If he even invites me again I probably won't go. I honestly wonder how much longer Keith will tolerate my shit.
>writing down your personal thoughts
no thanks, i keep them where they are safe - in my head
>>29373386
>He can either have his money back for the burritos ONLY, or 4 new burritos.
Poorfags get so butthurt when you say this because 99% of the time there is no real issue they just want free food
>>29371049
13. February 2016
No change, nothing to report. Sleep problems are getting worse.
Gonna go get my old laptop, OP. Might have some good stuff in there.
Second of May, 2015
-I made camp and cooked up some chili, it's not too dark out yet but it certainly isn't light out, there's a dog barking down the way
-it's dead quiet, this isn't good
-frogs are beginning to speak up now
-chili is cold, I burnt some to the pan, and I forgot my Rain cover
-the only good thing I have is my m9, I have 15 rounds, but I hear stuff outside
-I'm scared to move
-dead quiet again, no stench or odor yet so I should be good
-I'm probably not gonna sleep tonight
-frogs are coming back now, no sign of birds
-dog is back
-i wish I had my dog with me
-charging my phone, I camped too far out
-I keep hearing twigs snap, I should put on my boots just in case
-frogs go in and out, I wish there were cicidas at least
-brought the stove in, it's freezing in here
-I feel better than before, but not safe enough to play comforting music
-normal night in the woods
-woke up at about 0730 today, cooked some noodles and am gonna go head to the other mountain
-I saw a lake a ways down, gonna go check it
-I'm almost to the lake, but I hear wolves
-MORE WOLVES
-they're behind me too
-fuck
-they sounded pretty close, had my M9 out while I was heading down
-one popped his head out, turns out its just coyotes. Better than wolves.
-no sign of them anymore
-found a campsite a ways up from the lake, a Volvo station wagon by the looks of it, looks like some teenagers clothes and shoes, bigog dying in the firepit next to a couch, it's recent
-called around for anyone, no response
-the windows are covered in grime, the tires have plants growing around them
-headed down the old road some more, heard another bark
-found a surface mining project, heading up the gravel road from it
-a couple guys were fishing, they didn't hear any of the barking or coyotes, nice folks, showed me a good fishing spot
-heading on the gravel road again, saw a couple other fishers, less nervous
-this road goes on forever
-ran out of water 12 hours ago
-it's dark out
-finally made it home
"Sunday, March 8, 2009
Man, I've gotten this journal and I have no idea what to write. I mean, I've always wanted to keep one, but I've never had the patience. I'll stick with it this time though: I can feel it.
Alright, so I had alot of fun today. Jen and I went to see "Gran Torino" today. It was a really good movie: I nearly cried at the end it was so sad. It was really funny though, too. Before going to see it we had walked around the mall for awhile. It was fun hanging out with Jen.
Earlier this morning I had added the new monkey eggs to their tank. They didn't immediately hatch after my doing so, and I was a little discouraged. However, when I got home and checked the tank I thought that I might've seen one squirming around.
After mom had picked me up from the mall we went to Target, then to Barnes & Noble where I got this journal and a book called "The Divine Comedy". I'm feeling a little embarrassed at how crappy these sentences are. If anybody ever reads this I'll seem like a moron. Ah whatever. I thought this thing for my own pleasure and I'll do whatever the heck I want with it!
It's pretty late right now, and mom and dad have already gone to bed. Pete had Nate over, and Dan has Wesley over. What a drag. I'm getting really tired of that Wesley kid- he's over too much.
Anyways, the book I'm reading now is called "The Hitchhiker's Guide To the Galaxy" by Douglas Adams. It's pretty sweet so far. The guy who writes this stuff is probably pretty awesome.
I really just wanted to get this thing started, so I think I'm just going to go back to reading my fanfiction now. I hope that doesn't look as dorky as that sounded in my head."
noooo
September 8th 2006 (Im like 15 or something)
It is my belief that women do not like "bad boys". They seek them not in and of that quality
itself, but they instead however are seeking to reestablish the emotional/psychological/physical abusive life situations that are highly correlated with such individuals. Most women are psychotic and neurotic. They want to be in this constant chaotic self-destructive environment because it is the comfortable norm they have experienced throughout their abusive life as children and wish to replicate it. They always go crying when they actually do get abused but prior to that, I believe they are experiencing an emotional and psychological high. They probably want to replicate their past life failures of similar experiences to subconsciously prove to themselves that they can somehow turn the situation around if they are presented it again. This is my opinion anyways after being in a relationship with a girl like this. She would always complain about me not being macho enough and when I would even forbid her from doing things and
treat her like a child and boss her around and once for scientific reasons, I softly slapped her
not even to leave marks and she bailed out of the car hysterically dashing across the highway
and eventually appeared at a gas station nearby. And when I did these things she would only push herself further away and claim that I was some sort of inhuman monster. Then shed go out and drink like 12 shots on a daily basis and like ten guys later she was eventually raped like I told her she would be because shes stupid, she now just lives with her family and doesnt have a job, school, or even internet or tv. She just smokes all day.
TLDR: Girls don't like bad boys. Girls like to surround themselves with neurotic, self-
destructive, and psychotic situations to relive their traumatic repressed life experiences.
>>29371049
>5/8/2016
>thou art a little soul bearing about a corpse, as Epictetus used to say
>tfw my parents house where I kept all my stuff burned down
>"don't worry anon. We have insurance. We can replace everything"
>tfw those journals are irreplaceable
>>29374790
Nah. After I saw this thread I went back and looked at one of my teenage journals (no I will not post anything from them). It's just trash. Most likely you're not missing anything.
This is from when I was 15:
March 19, 2005
Me and Logan went to the mall to see this Blink-182 cover band. They were pretty good. Logan thought they sucked, maybe just because the drummer wasn't exactly as good as Travis Barker. After they played we saw this awful movie [edit: didn't write down the title and now have no memory of what it was]. We were laughing so hard at it and making fun of it, and then some usher said we had to be quiet. Seeing as we only paid 3 bucks to get in, we decided to leave. Making fun of it was the only thing that made it enjoyable. Before we did though, Logan texted Chris to look up the ending online. When Chris got back, we went to the front of the theater, and shouted the ending 3 times, just to make sure everybody heard. Then we ran out of there, got in Logan's car, and drove to Dairy Queen. We had never been to this one before. I got an oreo blast, and I don't know what it was, but there was something much fresher about the ice cream at this dairy queen compared to the one we usually go to. Logan agreed, too, so I know that's not just me. I don't know why this was all so much fun, but I wish I could have more days like this. Already though, I can feel this feeling disappearing and the dread of school getting more and more overwhelming. I wish I could burn that place down.
>>29376403
Did you and Logan ever have homosex?
>>29376441
Kek nope
We were just really good friends m8. If you've never had that I can see why you can't make the distinction between it and gayness
>>29376566
Oh, I know the difference, m8. I was just curious for some boyhood homosex adventures.
>>29376566
Fucking KECK!
BTFO!
T
F
O
!
I walked all the way to my closet to grab my journal from junior year of high school and transcribed it. After all of that effort, you fuckers better read this.
March 10
Another day consisting of a constant stream of embarrassments. I was too pussy to talk to [girl]. She had just exited to the bathroom when I walked by, so it would've been awkward, is how I justified ignoring her. Which is somewhat true. And what's even worse, she said "hey" to me as I left chemistry. And I acted like I didn't hear her!!! Because I wasn't completely sure she was speaking to me. But a second too late I was. My first day is going terribly. I'm ugly. I have a spot of acne on my cheek. ugh. I like my English class. It's a bit tight-knit. It's not like that in Art or History or Math where im completely alone. I feel like my memories are slipping away. I'm losing old friends' names. And faces.
>>29371049
I don't have a journal, I don't want people know what I think.
>>29376403
>We were laughing so hard at it and making fun of it, and then some usher said we had to be quiet. Seeing as we only paid 3 bucks to get in, we decided to leave. Making fun of it was the only thing that made it enjoyable. Before we did though, Logan texted Chris to look up the ending online. When Chris got back, we went to the front of the theater, and shouted the ending 3 times, just to make sure everybody heard. Then we ran out of there, got in Logan's car, and drove to Dairy Queen.
the normalfag childhood sure sounds fun
>>29376754
>had literally 1 friend
>did autistic fedora /b/tier stuff like this
>normalfag
>>29376702
March 13
It's mom's b-day 2-day. I got her a couple things yesterday.
I waved to the kid from French class the other day on the street. He switched out.
I saw [other guy]'s underwear. It was a pattern of monkeys haha. He's really cute and funny.
My birthday is coming up. I plan on enjoying a lunch at [restaurant], seeing [movie] at the [theatre], and taking a hike at [location].
>tfw don't keep a journal out of fear that someone may find it and think I'm insane
>>29376824
March 28
Back home at the old abode. Nice assonance in that sentence. I saw that stupid tranny cunt when I was unlocking my bike. I bet he was fucking judging me. I'm glad spring break begins tomorrow. And that school is 3/4th over. I've been hanging with [guy] in history, he's pretty funny. Art is fucking loathsome. Life is boring. I want to murder [other guy]. Him and his friends are too loud and annoying. Except [different guy]. He's cute. You know who I never see? His bf. Where did he go? Is he gone? I hope so. Fucking FAGGOT. Why is every book we're assigned about non-whites? We should be reading Hemingway or Orwell or something, not novellas by some random spic cunt.
>>29376799
Well you're at least a cyborg or failed normie. True Robots never willingly leave the house
January 22 2012
So today really sucked but it was good to finaly see people for what they are. i mew (knew?) [anon] didnt want to be my friend anymore but i kept pushing acting like i was completely obliveous to this. he needed to MAN UP an tell me how he feeled about me. after weeks he finaly had the guts and told me we couldnt hang out anymore because his new friends didnt like me. bullshit, his new friends were a lot nicer than he ever was
i kind of wish i had pushed him further and made him say hes the one whos annoyed with me
at least he finaly said what ive know for a lOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOng time that we couldnt be friends anymore
FUCKER
Holy shit, it's already been four years. My grammar was even worse back then. kek
That kid has just graduated from college and now has a job. He tried reaching out to me a few months after this incident but I was too prideful. Fuck, I really wish I could go back and accept his invitation.
Oh well.
>>29376873
Just dumping these because I'm bored. Does this interest anybody?
April 21
I've been focusing a bit too much on my negative attributes and experiences lately. Like all of my ugly features and embarrassing moments. There's quite a lot to analyze lol. But the time I spend thinking about that could really be put to better use. I could be thinking of jokes. Yeah that'd be a good use of my time lol.
You know something funny that happened yesterday? I was walking home from skool, and a white car was coming towards me. This girl I have classes with popped her head out of the window and asked for a high-five. I slapped it pretty hard. I wasn't fully comprehending the situation so I didn't smile or say anything. So I looked like a fucking weirdo.
I fucking despise retards and invalidfs. They need to be euthanized ASAP.
>>29376799
in what way was this story not normalfag? All you're missing is drunkenly losing your virginity to some cute PTP girlfriend and this is the perfect childhood
it is february 8th, 2013. it is a friday night, and i am depressed. there seems to be something wrong in the way i connect with others. there are no friends with whom i can connect. i am alone. i was alone last weekend. i will be alone next weekend. if i am not, i will be wishing that i were. i will be reminded of why i am different. i will be reminded why i spent the last weekend alone. relationships with people seem to follow the same pattern. they build up to almost something and then fizzle down to nothing. to emptiness and regret. to apathy and misunderstanding. to discomfort. i would love to fill this book with happiness and things i love, but it just seems so impossible. being in my room saps me of any emotions.
summer 2014
how could this not kill me? how could this isolation lead to anywhere but death?
i think the world can be beautiful but i wonder if i have the capacity to appreciate it
i just watched the perks of being a wallflower and i'm starting to realize how empty everything in my life is. i am a shell of a human being and i can't remember the last time that i belonged with a group of people. i live my life in a state of constant isolation. a pervasive loneliness covers the floor of my life and everything i do merely builds on, or covers it up
fall 2014
dear mom,
it's hard to focus on school.
maybe i don't belong here.
i think there's something wrong with my head
and i don't think the doctor's will have labels for it
i wonder if you know what i mean.
love,
your son
1/14/2015 11:23pm
my dad said he wasn't ready to let me live on my own. he said isolation isn't a viable coping mechanism. i cried a lot and then i heard my mom crying too through the floor of my room and it breaks my heart to hurt someone like that.and it's hard to be mad when so many people are crying so i started crying again too. and if i stay here i will hurt myself and if i leave i will hurt everyone.
thursday, april 9th 3:18am
i shouldn't tell her about the fentanyl
>>29371049
1/1/1940
anon if you are reading this you have to go back
>>29376949
You sound like a piece of shit. Faggot.
>>29376960
How bad was your childhood that this is normalfag?
>>29376949
May 13
This new English room is comfy. EXCEPT, nobody fucking sat with me. I'm at a table alone by myself. You know what i should've done? Sat with [girl]. I saw [guy] wearing a new hat today. A beanie. He's still cute, but he was cuter without it. God he's cute.
Oh shit I just lied to the sub. She asked me what I was writing and I said it was the outline for my essay.
Maybe I would've sat with [girl] if my acne wasn't so bad today. I wish she was alone at her table. No, I wish [guy sitting at her table] was alone at his table. He gets on my nerves. Oh shit, he just left. Now she's alone. Wait, this is no good. Now there are two people alone (me and her), and we're both ugly. So it looks like we're both alone because we're ugly.
My tummy hurts.
>>29376993
At least my posts are generating a reaction.
>>29377021
>taking having friends and fond nostalgic memories about going to the mall for granted
true normalfag
How about a quote from my Audio Log
"She mentioned how heartbreak is the most painful thing a person could go through, it's the same as torture in a way and I feel like am tortured...I don't think I can...you know..take it anymore...feeling this type of heartbreak, feeling these types of emotions"
>>29377074
May 29
It's civil rights time in history class. Today's lesson was about "women's rights". According to the teacher the founder of the movement was Betty Friedan. As soon as I saw her face and name I knew what she was. Fucking kike.
>>29377107
>loners don't go to the mall
>robots can't have friends
It wasn't even usual for me, that's part of why the day was so great I think.
>>29377175
Not the guy you're arguing with. I guess a robot could go to the mall, but I'm sorry, robots can't have friends, or not ones they are that close to.
A lot of people on this board would disagree, but then, I don't consider a lot of people on here to be true robots.
>>29377175
>>loners don't go to the mall
not with a friend they don't
>>robots can't have friends
of course they can't. Why then would they be robots?
It's still summer, and I'm hating every day of it. I don't really care about not having people to spend it with, but it does bother me from time to time now that I know that the future I planned out so carefully is ruined, all thanks to my mom.
I should be packing right now. I should be counting down the days I have left for medical school, but like every other fucking idiot in this world, she didn't listen to me and now I'm fucked because of it. Jesus fucking Christ. Why is it so hard for people to understand logic? Why do older people refuse to admit that younger people can be smarter than they are?
I'm thinking more and more about a way out. The only two video games that I'm good at are slowly dying thanks to the cancer that is Overwatch, so I won't be able to make money to pay for my schooling from that. I want a way out.
No.
I need way out.
>>29377144
glad to see edgy middle schoolers post on 4chan
>>29371049
>no journal
get fucked bro
>>29377313
>glad to see edgy middle schoolers post on 4chan
the whole fucking board is mostly made up of middle schoolers bitching about no gf
>>29377144
june 13
I graduated the junior year of high school today. I only said goodbye to one senior, [girl]. Still I can barely believe she's a senior. She still has the charm of a sophomore haha. I saw her by her car and said "have a nice summer" to which she replies "Thanks, you too" to which I replied "Thanks". A little impersonal. But still nice. I wish i'd gotten to know her better in her final year. Of high school.
[Guy] was talking my ear off about some stupid shit. Like insanely stupid shit. He was saying he's an alien from another planet. Jesus christ what a dumb fat fuck. Why is [other girl] always talking to him? He must not talk about that shit around her.
But I'll miss everybody who graduated this year, since I'll never see em again. Actually, fuck them, they can burn in hell. Not one person approached me to say goodbye or wish me a good summer. People I've seen everyday for 9 months didn't care at all. Eh, whatever.
>>29377313
It's from junior year of high school.
>>29377234
>>29377240
Most people on this board would disagree with you, you know. By definition, the majority of this board decides what robots are. Robotdom, like Autism, has a spectrum. Spending one Saturday with one friend doesn't make you a normie.
>>29377490
most people on this board are not robots, so their opinion is irrelevant.
>16/01/09
"I have been thinking about death and crap and it all seems to impossible that I could die, I mean that can't happen. So anyway this made me realize that all my problems mean nothing, they'll only be bad memories at worse anyway so I just have to live through this little bit"
>30/05/10
"Well I simply don't know what to say. Lots of time has passed and nothing much has changed. I spent around half of every day sleeping simply because I hate reality, in my dreams there is more of the world than just this house. It's the same day over and over and I don't know. I'm a mess and I don't know if that will ever change, there are so many things I've ruined and nobody seems to care anymore, nobody knows me well and if they did they wouldn't care. I'm lost and losing hope. I don;t know what to do and I don't know how to do it. I really hope something life changing happens soon"
>20/02/2012
"What am I scared of? I don't know anymore. To be honest I have no idea what the future holds, but I know I've screwed up so much already and if I am not careful I will soon screw up the rest.I wish I was a normal teenager, figuring out life with friends, Instead I'm a nervous wreck with no skills, motivation, good looks or social skills."
>tfw I've always been a whiny piece of shit
There's only about 10 entries from 2008 to 2012 and most of the other stuff is about sports and video games.
>>29377825
Tell me the strict criteria for being a robot, O enlightened outcast!
>>29377924
It's hard to define, but if one thing's for certain being a non-virgin or having friends automatically disqualifies you. I don't understand why you would think otherwise.
>>29376754
>>29376799
>>29376875
>>29376960
>>29377021
>>29377107
>>29377175
>>29377234
>>29377240
>>29377490
>>29377825
I am getting sick of these robot pissing contests, and these debates about what makes a "true" robot. it's not something to aspire to be.
I am a Chad from /mu/, not a robot, but I really wonder why people even feel the need to defend it, and create this drama in their lives, this need to have their oppression validated. I think people who are truly oppressed don't feel this way. So I'm gonna take a shot in the dark and say that nobody arguing in this thread is truly a "robot".
You people, blaming everything on normies, are no better than the womyn at tumb.lr blaming everything on the patriarchy. who need to compete in these oppression Olympics.
Fuck off, all of you
>>29377982
I had literally one friend in high school. I have never had sex. I have never held a job for more than a month. I get nervous talking to strangers, my voice literally shakes.
the fact that you are worse off than robots doesn't mean we're not robots. it just means you're something worse. even some literal autists at my school had a friend or two.
>>29378024
>everyone but me is dumb
you neutral fags are the absolute worst
>>29378070
>looking down on someone for being a non-normie
oh yeah totally a robot
[Late September 2014, a bus home from school. Notes]
-You often catch yourself marveling at the subtle wonders of social grace.
"Where do you work?" (Guy)
"Patty Boland's" (Girl)
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeeeeaaaaah" (in a prolonged, high-pitched mewl. A deft maneuver).
-You have no handy store of anecdotes. Yours are buried in the antediluvian halls of your conscious, meekly dusted off for niche audiences.
-The cold clears up both the air and mind. Is this an analogy? Take your sweater off and find out.
-She certainly sounds like the kind of person who would date a guy named "Chase"
-"I, um.." no, I'll leave it at that. That is a serviceable representation of my personality.
-If your most important though on the bus is "How can I hold my book so that as many people as possible can see the author's name?" then you are thoroughly wasting your time.
-Is it racist to describe someone as a nerubian warrior princess? You better not write about her legs.
>>29378256
You sounded like a pretentious faggot.
Have you ever ever ever been depressed so bad
It was a struggle every day not to regret your past
Feeling cursed like you never ever get your swag
And you was speeding down the highway when your threshold pass
When you cried all your tears out
And one page of your diary can tell you what your year 'bout
That's a lonely place
My mama said "Son, why such a lonely face?"
Because the pressure's on me
Plus I feel like Bill Murray trapped in Punxsutawney
Dr. Phil told me that I can sell crack or hit the army
>>29378251
>robots aren't constantly criticizing each other and putting each other in their place, often hypocritically
you new here, m8?
>>29378256
>You better not write about her legs.
alright, i laughed
>>29378389
maybe they do but only normalfags do the same about things like their social or sexual failings
April 24, 2016
3:59AM
I fell asleep in my bed and woke up in the same bed inside of the dream, but I wasn't aware that I was dreaming yet. I got up and noticed it was raining outside. The sky was overcast and there were no people anywhere I looked. The whole city had been abandoned. It felt good. I headed to the bathroom as per usual to take my morning piss, but surprisingly I didn't have a cock. After catching a glimpse of my reflection in the mirror I noticed that I had turned into a little girl. A cute one. It filled me with confidence and joy. I instantly ran outside and began walking through the rain. Without thinking about anything I jumped through puddles and played and sang like a child. It felt like the earth and I were friends again. The road I walked on was straight and surrounded by the forest on either side, a road that doesn't exist where I live. Suddenly a single car approached me on the road and stopped. They rolled their window down and called me over. I took a look at the driver and saw myself, the old me that I left behind back in the real world.
"Hello, want to get in?", I asked myself.
"Sure!", I replied.
cont.
>>29378729
We drove off into the vast emptiness beyond the city, headed nowhere. The rain outside was quickly transforming into a storm. I looked out the window with my chin resting on my hand and spotted the beginnings of a tornado off in the distance. The car radio was looping segments of the song I'm So Tired by Fugazi through staticky and disjointed passages. The old me that was driving suddenly stopped the car.
"Hey, have you ever tried sucking a cock?", I asked.
"That's... a -f-funny joke", I replied with an anxious expression.
I then locked the doors and began taking off my pants.
"Alright, t-that's just t-taking it too far..."
Suddenly I forcibly grabbed myself by my hair and forced my penis down my throat. I choked on my spit and struggled to breathe as I throatfucked myself for several minutes.
"I'm going to cum. If I spit this out I'll kill myself."
I shot several loads of warm sticky cum down my throat and swallowed it all mixed in with my salty tears. It tasted like soapy cow shit. I then kicked myself out of the car and drove off. Overcome with emptiness and despair I laid down in the street and let the rain wash my body away. I watched the sky as my body floated along the rocks. The sun had risen and was shining brightly, except it wasn't the sun at all. It had the face of Jaden Smith. Jaden Smith stared down at me from above and flaming tears leaked through his eyes down onto the forest, lighting it on fire. Smoke filled my lungs and I passed out, waking up back in bed. I got up and ran to the bathroom to check my reflection, and there on the mirror was written in cum:
"How Can Mirrors Be Real If Our Eyes Aren't Real"
>>29378651
you're delusional if you think robots don't do the same thing
>>29371049
> 6/19/2016
> i still hate niggers kikes sandniggers yellow niggers and all the other niggers
>>29378783
They may do it but they do it ironically.
>>29378783
Maybe what you call robots do, but actual friendless virgin robots don't
>>29378844
yes they do. it's human nature to shit on people, often for the very things you hate most about yourself.
even if I don't qualify as a robot, i guarantee you even people you would consider robots do this.
>25/3/2015
Decided to start a journal, I've heard it's very therapeutic and can imagine it would be beneficial in processing things and making better decisions in the future.
I think I'll mainly use to to write down the good things. To help boast my self esteem and confidence.
I'm pretty lonely these days and even when I am with people I avoid talking about myself as much as possible so this will be a good place to do so, even if it is only to myself.
On that note, I want to try and keep this as much as possible as if no one will ever read it. It's password protected so I hope that stays the case. However in the case something were to happen to me and your reading this now I don't mind; in-fact I'd welcome it.
If you're reading this and I'm alive and well, please stop now you rude bastard. I'm a trustworthy guy and I assure you anything you told me in confidence I've kept to myself so I expect you to show the same levels of trust and close the application down now.
Lastly, I'm writing it improve my work ethic. I'm pretty lazy these days too so even just writing a few hundred words a day would be good I think.
AND ON THAT BOOM SHELL_I've had enough for today.
>made only about 10 more posts after that
kek, fucking typical
6-11-16
I've seen horrors...horrors that you've seen. But you have no right to call
me a murderer. You have a right to kill me. You have a right to do that...But
you have no right to judge me. It's impossible for words to describe what is
necessary to those who do not know what horror means.
Horror.
Horror has a face...And you must make a friend of horror. Horror and
moral terror your friends. If they are not then they are enemies to be feared.
They are truly enemies. I remember when I was with Special Forces...Seems
a thousand centuries ago...We went into a camp to inoculate the children.
We left the camp after we had inoculated the children for Polio, and this old
man came running after us and he was crying. He couldn't see. We went
back there and they had come and hacked off every inoculated arm. There
they were in a pile...A pile of little arms. And I remember... I cried...
I wept like some grandmother. I wanted to tear my teeth out. I didn't know what I
wanted to do. And I want to remember it. I never want to forget it. I never want
to forget. And then I realized...like I was shot...Like I was shot with a
diamond...a diamond bullet right through my forehead...And I thought:
My God...the genius of that. The genius. The will to do that. Perfect,
genuine, complete, crystalline, pure. And then I realized they were
stronger than we. Because they could stand that these were not
monsters...These were men...trained cadres...these men who fought with
their hearts, who had families, who had children, who were filled with
love...but they had the strength...the strength...to do that. If I had ten
divisions of those men our troubles here would be over very quickly. You
have to have men who are moral...and at the same time who are able to
utilize their primordial instincts to kill without feeling...
without passion...
without judgement...
without judgement. Because it's judgement that defeats us.
>>29378844
>every robot is exactly like me or they are not a robot!
Holy shit m8 gert a fercking grip, will ya?
>>29378934
>I may be a non-virgin and have friends and a job and go out and socialize every day but I'm a robot too!
something I wrote to myself last year in a more self collected moment.
It hasn't really gotten any better...
December 2nd 2015
Hey, I want you to know that I know you through and through a good person, and I know you have your particular difficulties everyday.. that they account for those unfortunate anxieties that arrest any thought of calmness you have about the ever tomorrow for yourself, it can feel scary.. I know it makes you feel like the people you know and find unfortunately can't quite relate to you so especially well, including friends and family. I know it eats you up at night, that you have tried to do something about it.. but that you don't know what to do differently, if an okay resolution can be made at all. Some days you may go through with minimum hassle, those are the best days.. but all it takes is one other day to be reminded of what is. I know that you know it's never going away as the problem it is. I know all these things. You have to make the decision to persistently try and find a course of action that makes thing "work" for you, be at peace with yourself in your limitations, even if that's all you end up having in the end. Nobody else ever can or will or should do that for you. That really is just life.
I often write down shit I see when I'm in crazy mode. Here are a couple delirium memories:
>November 14, 2014
I am walking across a bridge outside unattended. I see a woman I swear is Kelly Clarkson standing on railing about to jump to her death. I walk up to her and beg her not to jump. She isn't listening to me and I want to ask her what's the problem and how I can help, but I lose control of my body and ask her stupid questions like "How much do you weigh?" and "What's your favorite parade?" I don't recall how this ended.
>January 5, 2015
I am being chased by a naked black tribal chief. He is trying to stab me with a spear, but it crumbles into dust when it touches my skin. He then detaches his penis and it turns into a handful of poisonous snakes. I get out my finger which I make into a finger gun and threaten to shoot him and the snakes even though I don't want to hurt the snakes because I like snakes. The naked tribesman backs off, fearing my finger gun.
June 18
Today I woke up just after noon, which means I got about 10 hours of sleep after I beat it twice in bed last night. I woke up and watched Iceland blow it against Hungary in the euros on /sp/, and some anons were posting slags, so I masturbated again. Third time in tweleve hours. At this point I realise I should probably leave my room, so I showered and went down to CVS. I needed to pick up a charging cord for my phone as I left my original at the office last night.
Originally, I planned to sightsee downtown today, but there was no fucking way I was going anywhere without my phone for directions. I just don't know the city well enough yet, and probably won't before I leave in a couple months. Anyways, by the time I leave the hotel it's about 4. CVS is only a quarter-mile down the street (if that even), which is a good thing because my dumbass didn't bring my phone to the store so I could actually check if the cord I brought fit my phone. It didn't. The G2 uses type micro-B, not C. After picking up the correct cord, I get back to the room and watch Inglorious Basterds on tv. There's just something about the blood and guts of a Tarantino movie.
It's about 7:30 now, and the day has been successfully wasted. I'll probably go mad if I hole myself up again tomorrow, so I try and figure out where I want to go. A majority of the shit I want to do would be much better if I didn't go it alone. I check tinder with hopes a girl has finally swiped right on me. No such luck. I swipe a few more times anyways.
The sun sets, and I decide to browse /r9k/ once again, where I find this thread that requests a diary entry. Seeing as I do not keep one, I type this up as a reply.
>>29378966
except that's not what he said m8
disingenuous argument
6/06/16
I can't do this anymore. I want to die. I'm too scared to kill myself. Why can't I fucking die in an accident? God please kill me. I want to die. I hate myself. I want to die. Please. Please. Please. Diediediediediediediediediediediedie. Fucking kill me please please please please please please kill me.
>Autumn, 2013
>On October 6 at about 3:15am I see a massive fireball from my window. It lasts about two or three seconds before seeming to explode and break up into pieces.
That was cool.
>>29379519
if you have friends you are not a robot, end of story.
>1/15/2008
>There's no way I'll end up like these 25+ year old virgin basement dwellers. Hell, they probably aren't even serious.
I only ever had a dream journal.
>October 24
>I dreamt that I had a dog and a huge garden in the countryside that I played with it in. I decided I wanted to bring him to a nearby town. At the back of my garden was a steep ramp that lead down to a road. I walked down the ramp and decided that I should build a small set of steps up the ramp (there was already dilapidated set there). As I was wondering how to do this as car violently crashed into the ramp beside me, flipping over. Another car followed it and stopped nearby. I went to the crashed car to help the driver, but found there was none. A man came out of the other car and told me it was being driven by a cassette his insane grandmother had made. The rest of the dream didn't make much sense. We entered into some kind of deal that would allow me to build a roller coaster, and we ended up exploring the ocean in submarines. We then started fighting a spherical monster that had built an underwater mine through a church's roof. I killed it by cutting it up with a sword.
>>29379795
nice try idiot, virgins didn't even exist in 2008
>>29372136
Oh, i tried to be like you in high school but failed hard. I couldn't write for shit and i never was as edge as i wanted to. I tried as hard as i could but i never was edge enough, i tried to be lone wolf too but people talked to me all the time. It's a real frustation for me.
I also only wrote about myself, and i still do. Now, at least i am a lone wolf -- not because i want.
>>29379672
Well, damn. No arguing with that.
>>29371049
I have becomed one with my journal my man
So-called neutral fag again.
You guys are arguing about whether you qualify as a robot.
It's not something to be proud of. At least being a nerd in theory is, because the same things that make you a social outcast make you smart, educated, passionate, etc. and nerds often produce stuff the rest of us enjoy.
Being a robot literally means you have failed at doing/attaining everything you want in life. It means you were too lazy or autistic or stupid or incompetent to do anything.
Why anyone would be fighting over being a loser is beyond me. There is no pride in it.
>>29379207
Damn... I wrote something similar last year that actually started out as a suicide note, but in the end was so therapeutic that I actually didn't go through with it.
I like the way you say it better though.
>>29380119
No one thinks it's something to be proud of. They come to this board because they want to have discussions with fellow outcasts, loners, autistics, failures like themselves, so of course when some girl or dumbass normie who's not a virgin, has friends and an active social life comes in to vent about their minor problems, they're going to be told that they're not a robot, and that they need to fuck off. Way to miss the point entirely, retard. What you're doing now is the equivalent of me going to your shitty board, starting a discussion about some dadrock crap, and then when I get told to go elsewhere, saying "wow you realize listening to obscure music is not something to be proud of right, it literally means the artist was not good enough to achieve a wider audience, the fact that you circlejerk so much over this just shows that you only listen to entry-level trendy music out of a need to have your generic music taste validated"
>>29381201
So you want to surround yourself with people as shitty as you? You don't want to work to improve yourself?
Seems to me like you're digging your heels into your "robot" identity. I'm sorry but that right there makes me think there is a misplaced sense of pride in being a robot. The fact that you care SO MUCH whether someone else who isn't a robot call themselves one means you have pride in the identity.
If you really didn't you wouldn't care that they were here.
