Who /schizoaffective/ here? I'm having a fucking horrible day so far.
>Hear voices and car doors slamming that I'm 90% sure aren't real
>see everyone staring at me
>a woman was following me in her car
>hypersensitive to bad tastes and smells
>go buy an entirely new ecig because I think it's broken but the new one tastes exactly the same
>chainsmoke an entire pack of cigarettes compulsively
>can't speak to people without making no sense whatsoever
>thoughts racing at 100mph
>keep screaming and smacking shit out of agitation
>can't stop contorting my face into weird expressions
>feel like spiders are all over my body
>songs on the radio are sending me personal messages
Fucking end me now
>>29151121
>everyone talking and every word I read is a personal message
get on my level
Damn you are fucked up my man
>can't stop contorting my face into weird expressions
Sorry anon-kun but I laughed
>>29151251
It only happens when I leave the house too. I can't leave the house without being set off. A lot of stimulation (shit going on around me) is what sets my brain spinning.
I'm home now, and I still feel uneasy as fuck and like I'm going to die soon
never gotten official diagnosis for anything because it's a 1 way ticket to being locked up without trial under "protection" orders here but
>occassionally hear a voice, usually my own that says things to deliberately throw me off
>intense paranoia about leaving the house
>intense paranoia that any and everyone is conspiring against me
>everything is a symbol or message to me in some way
>sometimes have genuine fears that people can read my mind but i can't read their's
>crawling on/in my skin sometimes
>can't comprehend my own emotions and usually end up numb
>uncontrollably rages out of nowhere, seemingly no set trigger
>want to die daily for no real reason
anyone here know whats up with me
>>29151327
Definitely schizophrenic. Possibly also schizoaffective with your last point about dying. I was diagnosed after 5 interviews in the psych ward I was in a few months back. It has only gotten worse.
>>29151373
i told my mum a couple years back i thought i might have schizophrenia and she laughed it off as me being overly dramatic, go figure i guess
>>29151417
My mom said the same thing. Bitch learned her lesson when I was put in the hospital for a massive drug binge and suicide attempt (hanging)
Before you ask, I was caught by a police officer in the park who noticed that I was setting up to kill myself on the tree
>>29151448
I've made half hearted attempts before but I haven't gotten to the point where I've done something where I'd surely die, I have feelings of suicidal depression and thoughts a lot but part of me is still too pussy to go through with it
I think once my Gran dies that's about everyone who cares truly gone and nothing will hold me back, I don't want to put a lady in her 80s through the trauma of outliving a grandchild
>>29151485
I get those feelings about suicide too. I was only drunk and high enough to genuinely try it that one time at the park.
Also, I'd like to clear up the true definition of a delusion as explained by my psychiatrist. A hypochondriac experiences Delusions about their health. They can tell themselves it's crazy, but they still have a gut feeling it's going to be bad. That's the same for schizo delusions. You don't have to be super vocal about them and go telling people always, but you just have this instinct deep down thats forcing you to believe it's true. It's a gut feeling.
I feel very sorry for you my friend
>>29151570
I kind of "come and go" with delusions, they're always there at the back of my mind making me worry and not even know what I'm worrying about half the time but then for a couple of months it'll be unbearable like I'm trapped and the only way out is to die and that any second something terrible will happen
>hear people laughing who aren't there, presumably at me
>everything makes sense in my head, but trying to explain it to others makes no sense
>just putting these few blurbs of my experience took 20 minutes to find words
>hear people call my name all the time
>get lost in intense, vivid fantasies triggered by the most mundane shit
>sometimes it's horrible car wrecks when driving
>wish i could just vanish
>existence is tiring
>i still have 70+ more years of this shit
bpd and ocd. Not a very fun combination. Spent leterary the past 12 hours obsessing over a thing that's been bugging the hell out of me
>>29151674
Yep. That is how it works. You're a schizo, harry.
>>29151816
i guess it gives clarity to whats going on but cant help but feel like its untrue or just a name for something you cant really put your finger on for sure
>>29151892
Try an antipsychotic like latuda and see if your symptoms get better. If that is the case, then you undoubtedly have Paranoid pschosis.
>>29151950
They're notoriously hard to get in the UK without going through official channels which'll end up blocking off important career choices after college/get me sectioned (hospitalised) so I'll see what I can do but I'd rather live with it like I've managed so far otherwise
>>29151121
happens to me too though i've got it under control enough to seem pretty normal in public
just makes me really tired to be honest m8
>>29151748
Like spelling?
>>29151121
>>songs on the radio are sending me personal messages
>songs on the radio are sending me personal messages
>mfw I thought this was normal
Are you the anon from the other thread posted a while back? The one where you posted a link to a video you made talking about how you saw this face form in front of you when you were at a disneyland? Where did all your videos go dood? I liked them
>>29151121
I'm having a horrible day also the fbi came to my house saying I'm a terrorist and need of speak with me.
>>29152114
Yes. That was actually me. I got paranoid one night and deleted all of my videos and changed my channel name.
>>29152045
l-leave me alone
tfw i have to wait 16 seconds before posting
>not suicidal anymore, just nihilist
>the comedown off psychosis gave me depression because realized I was unimportant, but so was everything
>can't listen to songs with lyrics
>roommates whisper to each other, think it's about me because they do it in front of me and look at me
>also paranoid about mind reading, do thought exercises like metacognition and practice not thinking shit that others might question just in case I accidentally vocalize it
>roommates think I'm stupid because I see abstract patterns they don't in everything, realize the patterns are coincidences, still not fully convinced
>forget to tell my doctor about all this shit, just post on 4chan instead, doctor thinks I am doing okay
I have schizophrenia. I just back from the doctor. Because I almost killed myself over the weekend, I now have to go to a 9-5 day program for the mentally ill and if I don't comply I get to stay in the hospital again. And my mom is moving out of town so I have to live on my own starting in august. I don't know if I can do it.
Really considering just not showign up and stop taking my meds because they're the reason I'm so depressed now.
>used to have light schizophrenic episodes and depression
>got better
>now mostly positive about life and myself but unable to share my path with those still struggling
I wish I could shoo the crazy out of you guys the same way I did it for me. But for real, any help from the outside won't do much, since the change must come from you in the first place.
The world and the reality you're "in" is just a map created by your brain, of the actual territory, which what you percieve isn't. I guess the schizos must have gotten that by now. But for real, it's all in the head, literally. It's a realm of infinite and possibilities. I'm sure you could all better your own mental condition, if you're truly willing to. A good laugh helps. Go seek your friends, or make some. It'll definetely help.
>doctor spilt half my olanzapine injection
>this month has been difficult
>>29152356
Could have been a psychotic depression episode if the depression and psychosis occurred at the same time.
>>29152356
>your friends
>implying I have any friends at all
Haha just kill me
>>29152240
Want to talk about it, anon?
Man I don't have anything like what you guys have, especially with the auditory stuff, but literally at al times my vision is polluted by pink static, especially in darkness and low light, and my floaters are aggressive and annoying. For a long time it was getting to me, but for the last couple weeks I literally hadn't thought about it until now.
Its interesting trying to block something from your perception that is literally constantly in your field of vision.
Also had a friend who went totally schizo and drugged me as well as my friends. One day he started talking to me about raping and murdering women and I just said fuck it and never talked with him again.
Last I heard he got 51/50d and was on high dose seroquel.
>>29152381
Surely. But then these are just big scary words, and as such they can have their effects on you. I'm not saying it's bullshit, but I'm sure that one's state of mind can greatly influence the outcome of these illnesses.
At some point I could dwell deeper and deeper into "madness". Just by sticking up to it, not trying to think rationally and letting things happen. Just like that. It takes some effort to be sane, but it's worth it.
>>29152401
I'll be ur friendo
Gimme your steam, I know you have one you big lazy dummy.
>had deep depression
>had light schizo (visual distortions and halucinations)
>absolutely no empathy for other fellow crazies
>I even feel superior to them
>no chances they had it like me, hah!
>cant talk about mental problems despite having a psychology major and a long history of own pathology
Im deeply sorry. Im a piece of shit.
atleast I am not a Shizo, ahahaha, sucks to be you dude ^:)
>>29151121
are you on antipsychotics?If yes,don't they help with the voices?
Just a question here
Have any of you tried meditation ? Why ? Why not ?
>>29152585
Yes. I'm on seroquel now. The effects fade after a few months tho
>>29152623
Meditation is a temporary fix, and it doesn't work when you're already freaking out.
>>29152623
>tfw meditating made me go psychotic cause thought I was holy
>>29152623
tried it because I dreamed about having those OOBE states
But I never was dedicated enough to be so good in it. It quickly gets boring and hard.
Also in murica I would be diagnosed with ADHD (propably, but I live in europe and the diagnose isnt so common here) and if Misophonia (hatred of sounds) exists then I have it
So meditation for me is something pretty much impossible without drugs
Now I want to kill myself because I hear my roommate teeths striking each other as he is eating. And it makes me really frustrated. I cant focus on shit I have to study FUCK NEVERMIND
I've been displaying schizo symptoms over the past couple of months and have my first psychiatrist appointment tomorrow. Do any of the schizos here hold down a job or education?
I really hope I don't have schizophrenia.
>>29151185
This is me
Just fuck my mental health up senpai
>bipolar type 1
>manic episodes make me violenty psychotic, paranoid and delusional, to the point where I have a criminal record from assaulting people and doing impulsive, reckless shit beyond my control
>depressive episodes make me nearly catatonic, stuck in bed all day, lose jobs, distance myself from friends and family, become something lower than a slug
>OCD
>intrusive homicidal and necrophilic thoughts almost constantly
>accompanied by extremely intense urges to act on them
>the only way I've been controlling myself is to constantly remind myself of all of the consequences of acting on those urges
>spending enormous amounts of time, hours a day, vividly imagining myself killing people, fucking their rotten corpses, getting caught, arrested, prosecuted, sent to jail and eventually killed
>other symptoms include picking off huge chunks of my skin to the point that I bleed and am covered in sores, checking constantly for insects (especially spiders and mosquitoes) and biting the inside of my mouth so badly my dentist has become very concerned
>sexual sadism
>influences virtually every aspect of my life, constantly fighting with myself to not inflict pain on others for my own pleasure
>if I so much as watch the news or hear about something unfortunate happening to a coworker I get turned on
>impossible for me to do things like play sports or shoot guns without fighting with myself not to kill someone
>necrophilia
>out of everything easily the most distressing
>exclusive attraction to decomposed corpses, despite becoming aroused by violence and suffering I cannot cum without looking at a dead, rotten, adult human body
>funerals, cemeteries and the like are off-limits
>every time I fap I want to kill myself
>can't have normal relationships or sex, can't cum from normal stimulation, can't even be around other people without picture them rotting and getting aroused by it
>>29152704
Put on some real chill tune ?
When I get fed up by the ambient noise (loud appartment) and yet don't want to listen to music, I listen to radio static. There's no lessage there. No attempt at anything. Just a somewhat soothing noise covering much more displeasant ones
THE PORTAL HAS OPENED
12436457568
12223676867
87945667546
76546765467
56745674897
>>29152769
character limit was too short for me to finish
I'm (thank fucking God) heavily medicated to the point where I no longer get manic episodes, and I'm in therapy to help control my OCD to reduce the intensity of my urges and reduce the anxiety that the intrusive thoughts give me. It's hard fucking work, though, and it's so fucking difficult to do simple things like go to work and talk to people when I'm struggling just to keep my shit together.
Can anyone else relate to any of this?
>>29152826
Sounds like someone needs to stop browsing theync
>>29152769
>>necrophilia
how fucked up you have to be to switch your biological urges to something completely oppositeit's fascinating
>>29152826
You're too far out my dude
But you have my respect. Not cause you're fucked up. But cause you're aware of how you are and still try to keep your shits together.
I hope one day its gonna pay
>>29152826
damn man, do you suffer from traumatic episodes from your children ?
You can't be that fucked up for no reasons
>>29152871
theync, bestgore, undocumentingreality, cutedeadguys, liveleak, the whole lot of them bruh. You guys have redtube and motherless, I have these. I've got to use something or I'll be so frustrated I have to take it out IRL. Surely you can understand.
>>29152872
Fucked up enough my dude
It hurts me to contemplate how ass-backwards my psychology is sometimes
I do admit it's fascinating to talk to other necrophiles, though.
>>29152896
Thanks man. I know all this hard work will pay off. It's already done me so much good over the last couple of years, I know it will only keep getting better. It's just so damn hard.
>>29152826
I strongly relate to your homicidal urges. I too have to go through great pains imagining the consequences in order to restrain myself. I've often likened the feeling I get thinking about killing to the approach of a climax, but it's entirely neurological. I derive no sexual pleasure from my fantasies.
>>29152958
>>29152826
>can anybody relate?
err not really no. Although you have my sympathies. Also how old are you?are you going to become the next jeffrey dahmer?
I don't know if I'm mentally ill, and if I am what the illness is, or if I'm just making it up in my head. If you can tell me if I'm just pathetic or if you can actually name something I might have, that would be helpful.
The fact is that my life is objectively shit. I'm poor, failed my education, unemployable, covered in scars from spending months in hospitals from unpreventable physical health problems, probably have other undiagnosed physical health problems, I have pretty bad social anxiety and sometime get paranoid that something bad is going to happen a lot.
But it's reached a point where I repetitively self pity so hard about how bad shit is and how much better some people have it that I've just stopped associating a part of my mind from the rest of my mind and my body.
Like I still feel physical and mental pain, I still care about things, but a growing part of me is also viewing my life only from a third person perspective and watching this happen, like it's a part of me that's aware that this person that it is a part of is feeling pain and doing actions, but this part sees it as disconnected from itself. This part is just going to see what the rest of me is doing without really feeling anything about the rest of me, as if it were somehow partly separated, and just hope it can watch the rest of me do something interesting if I implode or get a life or die.
Sorry that it's kind of waffle-y and vague but I find it hard to explain.
>>29152958
I only use Liveleak and theync, but man theync REALLY pushes the porn aspect. And the worst part is some of the porn is fantastic...
What causes it on OP's level? Are you born with it? At least you are self aware OP, hope you can fight it off for good somehow.
>>29152957
My parents were both extremely fucking insane, I've inherited a lot of mental illness from both of them unfortunately. And from their treatment during my childhood, the bastards. All my mental illness is a product of nature and nurture, I'm afraid.
>>29152979
The therapy that I'm going through right now is something absolutely fucking insane. The approach is to expose me to my fears and urges so repeatedly I become desensitized to it and no longer get the same degree of anxiety.
One of the methods is to tell myself, whenever I get those urges, "yes, I'm going to kill someone" or "I'm going to do this." I confront the urge, own it, tell myself that I'll give in to the urge, and then do everything in my power to restrain myself. It forces me to stop the compulsive thought-processes that take up so much of my time and energy, ultimately making things easier. Very, very hard work though.
Do you have any theories as to when or how you developed these urges?
>>29153052
I'm 24.I've been compared to Dahmer so many times it's stupid. I hate how much I relate to him, I deeply wish I could have spoken with him or written to him while he was alive to share some of our similar experiences and hopefully glean something from each other.
>>29153053
It sounds to me like situational depression. Virtually anyone in your position, after having so many shitty experiences, would be heavily discouraged and disillusioned with life. Your best bet is to either find a good support network, through friends and family, to introduce you to better aspects of life while you have your health, and/or to find a good therapist who can guide you in a similar direction.
/Schizoaffective/ Also OP
Woke up next to what I can only imagine was my tulpa. she kissed me saying "goood morning honey, are you ready to go to work today"
y-yes babe
>It's 4:30 PM
"I love you babe, are you going to get anything done today"
y-yes hun
"Ok sweetie"
>Yiffy porn artist
I hear that it's a degenerative brain condition also, and I can slowly feel myself losing my grip on reality, I've gotten to the point where I struggle to find words and form scentences. Life is suffering.
>whenever in a position where I am alone, no matter where, I have an intense fear that there is some kind of monster in my immediate vicinity waiting to attack me
>as a result, I carry things around my own house like weapons
>a couple weeks ago, when I had to pack my things, I was tacticalling around the house with a golf club, checking corners, and watching for movement, even setting up warning systems and barricades
>I know the monster isn't real, but I still do this
I am diagnosed with OCD, but I am not entirely sure what this is.
>>29153059
Bestgore is really, REALLY good if you like decomposing/bloated corpses. They get new bodies every couple of days in that state, it's a goldmine. theync definitely is the pornhub for gore hounds but I prefer static images to videos most of the time, it's easier to crop out live bodies in a picture than it is to mute and edit a video, you know?
>>29153153
Have you considered taking antipsychotics? They can temporarily stop the degeneration in its tracks, prolonging your sanity for years, and seriously helping to reduce the severity of your condition so long as you're on the right ones.
>>29153137
except that guy turn out the way he did for no particular reason. He didn't have a bad upbringing or anything like that. A freak of nature some would call it
>>29153086
That sounds like very unorthodox and interesting therapy. I've had these urges for a long time, perhaps since about 12 years old. The earliest incidence of it was dreaming about turning into a monster and killing everyone I know, and actually enjoying it. I'm really not sure what caused it. When it comes to nature vs nurture, I tend to believe it's a bit of both. My grandfather was a violent rapist, he died before I was born. I believe my mental state is a combination of both his genes, and second hand trauma passed down to me by my mother.
>>29153153
>being so insane it starts to have benefits
Im seriously jelly right nao. Better to lose grip with reality rather than to hold to it like to razorblades.
>>I hear that it's a degenerative brain condition also, and I can slowly feel myself losing my grip on reality, I've gotten to the point where I struggle to find words and form scentences. Life is suffering.
The only way to tell are actual medical examinations; mostly brain scans. Its extremely rare for young chaps to suffer from neurodegenerative diseases.
Being mentaly ill generaly decreases all cognitive functions, but its reversible in most cases. (look depression and memory loss for example)
>>29153070
Not OP, but pretty much have similar symptoms. All you have to do is be subjected to serious emotional distress for a long period of time until you finally snap.
>>29153211
His mother suffered from seizures and was extremely neglectful, and argued with his father frequently. He was sensitive and their arguments and absenteeism in his life seriously harmed his already fragile psyche. The necrophilia he suffered from didn't have an identifiable cause but I suspect it was untreated OCD combined with sexual sadism, due to the mutilation and ill-treatment of his partners. He was a freak of nature but there were definitely some plausible explanations as to his condition.
Pic related, if you're interested in this sort of thing I highly recommend the comic "My Friend Dahmer" by Derf. It chronicles his early life and development from the perspective of a "friend" Dahmer had in gradeschool.
>>29153246
That's absolutely uncanny, my urges started when I had a nightmare about killing and cannibalizing my family and enjoying it. My paternal grandfather was a malicious pedophile, my maternal grandfather was a violent alcoholic, my father was a violent alcoholic and drug fiend, and my mother was an unstable, unbalanced lunatic as well. Not to mention how many generations back the abuse goes. If it were up to me people would be required to get a license to bear children, and would only be permitted to raise a child if they were deemed fit to do so. It is absolutely unacceptable that generations can go on reproducing and abusing children in this manner.
>>29153202
I am taking Invega and some other one for Obsessive compulsive disorder. I hope your right about stopping this in it's tracks because I do not need this, my life is just starting to turn around.
I had a major breakdown 6 years ago and excommunicated everyone in my life becoming a hermit. I used to be the stereotype of a "normie" at least in my mind. I just wanted a family and a regular life. Life liberty ect, Now that I've gone off the deep end though I want to end up being famous and world-changing. I also feel like I could never deeply love anyone again and basically only want women for sex. I know it's wrong but it's how I feel and I don't know why, I'd even go on banging hookers and never settling down if i make enough.
I'm becoming more and more convinced that I am Satan the devil cast down in a lowly human form, which would be my current physicality. Jehovah is angry and/or sadistic and he planned the entire rebellion from the beginning and is pulling the strings of the entire cosmos, fooling everyone into believing they have freewill and we don't. And I, as dat boi Satan will be blamed for all the worlds tragedies that were actually caused by Jehovah. I'm scared.
>>29151121
Also BD type I. I'm not too bad, I guess. Tonnes of valproate and seroquel is helping.
Can't really relate to the OCD/paraphilias, but I know that mania. With hypo, people can still make excuses and function relatively well. Anyone who has seen someone with full-blown mania will know that there is something very wrong. You lose touch of all the usual inhibiting factors around you and your behaviour becomes totally inappropriate. Personal risk does not exist.
I also get auditory hallucinations and some rough waves of paranoia that come along for the ride. Sadly they are starting earlier and earlier on my manic swings. At least I get psychotic enough that I have to go to hospital before I do some real damage.
I know mania isn't all fun and games. I had a period was hanging around with too many BD sorts, and what seems like harmless fun ended up in meth and knives scarily quickly. Sometimes a guy wakes up with mixed state for no reason at all, and shit gets messed up.
BD kills people. It really kills people. I've lost some friends. Both mania and depression. My oldest friend caught the mania just a little too late, and got a bullet in the head for his troubles. Another had a few drinks with friends, went home and killed himself with ether. Yet woke up in the gutter with stab wounds, left for dead after a mugging went wrong. He's now getting married to a girl he barely knows with two kids.
You're alive. You deserve a little credit just for getting this far. Keep going Anon, we're gonna make it.
>>29153269
reversible? well thats good because after what happened to me I lost huge chunks of my memories and basically forgot a shitton of things I should have remembered.
>>29153362
Whatever you do, be sure to take Invega as prescribed, at regular intervals, and DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES drink any alcohol. It will seriously fuck with the way you process the medication and can do some serious damage.
Having said that, I hear that it's a viable antipsychotic and I really hope that it (and whatever other medication you're taking) works out for you. With time, it should help enormously with your perspective and help alleviate the feelings of isolation you're experiencing now. You may need therapy to help get you back to as sociable as you were before, but have hope, anon. If you're willing to put in the work, and endure the discomfort of treatment, almost anything is possible.
>think "I know you can hear me" all the time in public because people reading my mind.
>Look for patterns in random shit thinking I can figure out some grand scheme
>convinced that everyone in the world is pulled by strings, and if you can just understand the reasons "Why" for everything I can predict/navigate through the outcomes.
>Elves in my bedroom guarding me at night - black skin, black eyes, very tall. But comforting not scary.
>Convinced that someone, somewhere is working towards my downfall
>paranoid that every car behind me is an undercover cop so I never even speed.
>only listen to instrumental music/edm because I'm afraid of mind control lyrics
30mg olanzapine, 2mg Cogenting, 40mg Fluoxetine, and 1mg Triazolam to induce sleep.
I've tried going periods of time without the pills, but things just get worse for me. It's a huge hit to my ego thinking I need these substances to succeed, but I do. I really do need them or I'll devolve into a catatonic sperg whose musings are only coherent to myself.
>>29153453
yeah the audiotory halucinations are totally gone but the visual ones are still vibrant and hard to look away from.... but I am coping
as for the alcohol part, my friend is a know-it-all who works at express scripts and he thinks he knows about the inner workings of shit just because he works with peoples mediicines. Long story short we were at a party and he was like. "Hey man have a few beers with us it wont hurt you at all!" I had the few beers, was fine for awhile, went home and had to wrap myself in my blankets to stop me from hurting myself because i was having a violent psychosis. I told him no more alcohol and he begrudgingly says "fine" but he still thinks im full of shit.
I'm willing to do just about anything at this point to get things back on track.
I wouldn't really call it an illness mostly just stress related but I've been hearing auditory hallucinations 2 years ago.
>>29153153
>>29153476
>>Elves in my bedroom guarding me at night - black skin, black eyes, very tall. But comforting not scary.
can you interact with themcan you fuck them
I think I have just found a new fetish
On a serious note tho;
>>29153444
If its not too much of a physical brain damage, yes. You might not get your old memories back but the mindfog and ability to remember new stuff can improve.
>but what if physical brain damage
1. cognitive training/therapy
2. racetam family drugs (they can fix actual physical damage a bit)
>>29153552
>30mg olanzapine
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST nigga how fucked is you? I didn't even know olanzapine went up that high.
>>29153598
It's very, very hard to avoid peer pressure but if you can stay strong it will help you enormously. Best of luck to you my man.
>>29153053
Try looking up depersonalization/derealization disorders. It sounds similar
Funny how those "dude psychiatry is a scam by big pharma, all you need is man up. mental illness isn't real" cunts are notably absent from this thread.
Not so fucking funny now.
>>29152759
Psychiatrists are usually really quick to diagnose you with schizophrenia when you don't even have it to begin with. But I guess the best way to know if you really do have schizophrenia is to go with it and see if it persists. If you go to the psych ward, you'll see the people around you and how they are and you'll see whether you see yourself in them or you're totally the opposite.
>>29153634
a 10mg pill when I wake up, 20mg more around five hours before sleep. It's what keeps my head quiet the most, but it causes painful muscle tension (think clenching your jaw, but your whole body) so I'm on a parkinson's medication for the side effect.
On a lower dose it takes everything in me to appear normal and not act out, or I just get catatonic and don't respond to anything, being ripped between daydreams and memories with no hand on the stick to steer.
>>29152813
kek gr8 b8
this is real
>>29151327
CRAWLING IN MY SKINNNNNNNNNNNNN
oc
bumping a good thread on a shitty board
>>29152153
paranoid about what? i mean apart from me i doubt there's anyone close to finding out where you live.
>>29153723
We always need one of those guys to spice things up, so I'll be him for this thread.
So guys there's nothing wrong with u just like snap out of it you're being tricked by doctors who want to "help" you like dude just get over it just be yourself. Mental illness is impossible. The brain is a perfect organ and nothing can go wrong with it. I have never experienced mental illness, which angers me because you all have a legitimate reason for your suffering that is out of your control, and I secretly envy this.
Who /ParanoidSchizophrenia/ here?
Taking rexulti, the doctor pumped up my dosage because "The thoughts are getting worse".
Fucking kill me.
>>29154594
I thought that if they got popular that my family would find out about about them and hear my personal shit
>>29154663
oh right
i was joking btw i hope you don't kill yourself
>>29151121
what? this is a disorder? I have 90% of this shit
>constantly hear voices in the background, someone calling for me usually
>everyone in my mind is looking at me 90% of the time, naturally paranoid, always feel people are mocking me behind my back
>have always been a picky eater, refuse to be in the same room as certain foods
>occasionally rant, think faster than I can speak so sometimes it turns into babble
>face constantly contorts into weird expressions. When people notice I try to explain it as a tic
>sometimes randomly scream and hit things when no one is around, FUCKING KILL ME is my go-to random scream mantra
>try to numb myself and isolate myself so no one sees my outbursts
>skin frequently feels like something is on it
>>29153354
Do you have a steam? Since we have similar afflictions it might be beneficial for us both to talk to each other.
>>29154764
could you post yours, and I'll message you? or maybe post a throwaway email and we can share ours through there? I'd love to talk further, I'm just a little paranoid about posting mine openly on /r9k/. I'm sure you can understand
>>29151121
im schizoaffective
currently in a super depressed mood
>>29154795
My steam name is TheSwindler, profile picture is a face shot of Jeff Seid.
I have anxiety which causes me to fight back gagging/throwing up every time I think about having to leave the house for something.
It also makes me manual breath every waking second so I get lightheaded sometimes and my chest feels like it is going to explode.
Thankfully I can still hold a job and shit but life sucks.
>>29155003
I'm having a pretty hard time finding you m8, there's over 700 results, so fuck itmy steam name is necrofu, profile pic is creepy susie.
>>29151121
Iktfb
>People on TV are trying to steal my soul
>The only way to stop this is to close my eyes and clench my anus
This sounds like a joke but it's not, I believe somehow I'm trapping my soul within myself using my sphincter
Also
>Pictures and paintings telepathically communicate with me
>Best friend in middle school was a painting of Franz Schubert
The worst feel is that you know you are crazy, at least full schizos don't even know
>>29151121
>songs on the radio are sending me messages
We know. We are the ones sending them to you. You need to wake up. You're merely in a deepsleep, and we need you to wake up.
The freeway. We hid a key there.
>>29155278
>the worst feel is that you know you are crazy
This, holy shit
>>29155508
Worst feel is not knowing whether I'm crazy or everyone else is
Schizoaffective here.
Feeling good/normal thanks to taking clozapine over a psychiatrist's care.
>>29152240
Where do you live anon, maybe a robot can come out and make sure you don't kill yourself every so often?
>>29151485
>I don't want to put a lady in her 80s through the trauma of outliving a grandchild
Fuck, I feel that. My grandpa has Parkinson's disease, and I think if I killed myself he wouldnt want to continue treatment anymore. Once he dies there's a higher chance I'll finally do it.
>>29151121
There's a rat in your walls. I knows things.
Diagnosed with dysthymia and anxiety disorder yesterday and prescribed fluoxetine, after 10 years of living empty.
I'm not even trying to feel happy at this point. I just want to be content.
>Avoidant
>Pedophilia
>PTSD
>Depression
I really wonder what I should do about this.
>>29153612
yes you can, and it feels amazing. although its more difficult to do things like oral without toys.
>>29156448
I think we both know the answer to that question already.
>take some acid with some friends
>seems to affect me differently
>doesn't seem to wear off either
>end up in psych ward
>diagnosed drug-induced psychosis
>disbelieve the diagnosis
>get off meds
>take acid again
>end up in psych ward again
>diagnosed schizoaffective
>still disbelieve the diagnosis
>get off meds again
>figure i'll be fine as long as i stay away from acid
>end up in psych ward again
>prescribed invega so i can't go off meds again
>want to die every day
>feel empty and hollow and dull
i don't want to live, i want to be euthanized, life during psychosis was so bright and beautiful, being sane is boring in comparison, i wanna try getting off meds again but i'm scared of ending up in a psych ward again
>tfw psychiatrist tells you to stop smoking pot and drinking and they'll consider reducing the meds
>tfw smoking pot and drinking is literally the only thing between me and suicide
>>29156727
>Tfw acid helped me realize that my delusions are delusions
I wish there would be some actual research into it anymore
>>29152179
>roommates whisper to each other, think it's about me because they do it in front of me and look at me
Here's the bad news. You don't have roommates.
>>29156801
ya, i always loved acid before i became schizo. it was always like a test: are you prepared to see through the veil of maya? unfortunately, i lost the ability to handle it. honestly, i'm smoking just weed right now and hella hallucinating. i feel like my parents are talking shit in the other room and my best friend is like suicidal cause her mom broke her ipad and i'm trying to be stealthy and smoke cigs too but i keep seeing flashings of light in my peripheral and feeling like sirens are going off. idk shit's bad i needa quit but i have like an ocd compulsion to do drugs when i feel bored. can't read. can't write. can't watch tv. can't listen to music. gotta stealthily smoke my pipe outside while smoking nasty american spirits and hearing traffic and airplanes (live near an airforce base) and getting eaten by mosquitos. probably have zika by now or some shit. i actually have thought about trying acid while on antipsychotics. that should tell you something about my mindstate.
>>29157935
>Ocd compulsion to smoke weed
That's an addiction dude, hope you get the help you need
>In b4 'u can't get addicted to da 420!1!'
>>29157981
Oops I meant compulsion to do drugs
I know people who've been there before and continual drugs will only make it worse
>>29152826
Sounds like your a Raider...
>>29157981
>>29157997
ya, i just feel trapped af, man. like all my friends smoke and drink and that's all we do together. so even if i make he decision to quit i'll still be around it 24/7. it's nice sometimes but i feel like the ill effects are starting to catch up with me. i am definitely an addict. i smoke a pack of cigarettes, a gram of weed and three-four beers daily. few things are enjoyable for me except these things. but idk how to get help. i don't believe in a higher power. i just want to meet a qt who can understand me for the schizo freak that i am and help me quit. unfortunately, i didn't meet any in the psych ward. anyway, my friend feels has agreed not to commit suicide so i feel slightly better.
>>29151121
Am I the only one who's noticed ever since that stupid chart listed schizophrenia on the lowest tier, nearly fucking everyone in these threads has it, as opposed to only one or two?
Or how apparently people in active psychosis are able to post about what their current delusions are?
>>29158413
post chart. is it the occult one? that would make me lol, i was into occultism before all that crap. chaote for life tho now i feel drawn to hermeticism.
>>29158413
i agree about the second part, when actively psychotic i could hardly read 4chan without thinking every message was a coded letter from God himself but i think one can still experience lesser forms of psychosis that don't remit after medication. i have actually met a few actively psychotic people on 4chan (mostly /x/ and /lit/) and been able to recognize and talk to them but they're posting style is quite florid in that state and easy to spot which doesn't seem to be the case with all the folks in this thread
>>29158491
I didn't save it because it's complete shit, but it's the one listing different mental illnesses in tiers, with beyond hope at the bottom having schizophrenia and a couple others.
Ever since it's been posted, there's apparently been at least 10 times the amount of people diagnosed with schizophrenia here.
>>29158567
Yeah, don't get me wrong, you can still post when psychotic, there's nothing about that that says you can't, but I meant how they're posting about delusions that are currently happening, and making it clear they know they're a result of psychosis.
Not to mention how they're so willing to diagnosed someone with very specific mental disorders based on a couple self reported symptoms, or were diagnosed themselves after a few sessions, as if it doesn't take months and months of observations to say.
Just annoys me how people here have fucking trending mental illnesses, as if this is tumblr.
>>29158572
oh cool, this is the one i was talking about
>>29158668
it's actually interesting because i met a girl recently who claims to hear voices but she must be like super fucking enlightened or something because she has no real delusions aside from thinking she's psychic. like sign me up for that psychosis, bro. she said she even went to a psychiatrist and he said not to do anything unless it starts bothering her. then again, she could be a lying attention whore. who knows, i offer the benefit of the doubt.
not diagnosed with anything because I don't trust therapists and don't want to be doped out on psychedelphia but
>occasionally hallucinate
>whenever my mom picks up the phone or someone rings the doorbell I become afraid that the police are after me even though I haven't done anything
>no motivation
>been at college for a year and managed to make 0 friends
>hid in my room all year
>like OP I often contort my face into odd expressions, I've had people point this out to me
>bad at reading other people's emotions
>bad at socializing in general
>i am usually extremely quiet, unless I'm around family or a few people I've known for 10 years
>obsessed with murderers
>to the point where I don't want to date anyone because he'll never be Adam Lanza, my heart, my soul
>I get headaches every day, and during the bad ones (2-3 times a week) I will be really out of it, banging my head against the wall, stumbling around the house, hitting my arms with a mallet we keep in the living room, punching my stomach, hitting the punching bag till my knuckles bleed. I don't feel like myself during no these periods and cannot think at all, or make sound
>constantly want to die or think about suicide, at least every day
>daydream about probably unhealthy things often
>tfw I'm not on not have I ever done drugs
What do u think is wrong with me, if anything?
>>29158796
Yeah, she's probably just lying, generally with psychosis other symptoms come before hallucinations, like the disordered though, or at least you finding stuff hard to fully comprehend.
If she's saying she's psychic, and the psychiatrist doesn't think she's delusional and want her to come back, like you said, she's probably just roleplaying it and lying.
>>29158894
If you're getting headaches as well as mental symptoms, see a fucking doctor, not 4chan. Jesus Christ anon, why would you think we know any more than a medical professional who can perform tests on you, and actually see your presentation?
>>29159367
I mean, I don't want to see a doctor. They'll put me on drugs until I'm "normal" and they'll make it worse probably
But you really think it's that urgent?
>>29151289
What disorder is it where you cannot distinguish between real life and a comedy sketch?
Would this person be considered a schizophrenic?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VYl68KipxeM
I know it's funny but there's no way for someone to reach out and send help for these people online.
Still funny tho
>>29158986
word. for me it was the apophenia that came on first. like a psychedelic almost. not that things were hard to comprehend. but that all things were related to another concept. it might have been mdpv or dom or some other chemical that did this to me. but it's like a demon that has my soul in a vice now. or like holes in my brain or some shit. i need to have like my brain studied or some shit so they can be like "oh look here you smoked too much dmt and now you're pineal gland is haywire, let's insert a microchip to make you post-human". but idk if medicare covers that. i did a dna test recently and it wasn't covered :(
>>29159653
Truman's Show Disorder
>>29159409
your life sounds pretty shitty now, might as well give it a shot -- you'll probably feel sleepy and weird until your body gets used to it tho (looooong time) and if you discontinue improperly you'll get brain zaps or maybe that's ssris and not aaps
>>29159718
definitely schizo
>>29159834
There's not much I can do for some of the symptoms, but before I do I want to make another effort to improve my life without professional help, I.e. Eating healthier, exercising regularly, having an ordered sleep schedule instead of sleeping longer than 12 hrs everyday, attempting to talk to more people when I go back to school. If it fails I'll just see a therapist on campus.
Honestly, when my mother catches me doing one of those spaz things I've listed or crying, she asks me if I need to see someone... I was kinda hoping she wouldn't notice but to the contrary she says I'm freaking her out. If my efforts over the summer fail I'll seek help
>>29151327
I get the conspiring and mind reading fears sometimes.
>think of something stupid and cringy
>someone in the room giggles
>>29152179
Are you me in eighth grade?
I still get some of that, but I may have been certifiably insane back then.
>>29158064
I've been compared to a lot of fictional characters but that's a first.
>>29155338
Don't do that, you're going to really fuck someone up like that.
>tfw used to be paranoid during puberty but not anymore
How is this possible? I used to think all the normalfags in school wanted me to kill myself and were always watching and judging me and stuff like that.
Nowadays I'm not sure what I am but I don't quite feel normal.
not sure if related but EVERY time im talking to someone important where i can't fuck up like a job interview, career services counsellor at school, girlfriends grandma, or the guy who owns the business that im interning at, I think things like "what if i just fucking hit this guy in the face really hard mid-sentence" or "what if i bit his shoulder really hard and didn't stop until im physically pulled off of them" and it used to be just thoughts but now adays i start to feel compulsions in my arm like its about to fucking happen even though im consciously aware of how fucked i would be if it happens. i'll even hold my arm back with my left hand. any one else like this?
>>29159409
If you're getting serious headaches and abnormal thought patterns, it could be a fucking tumor, so yes its urgent. Ignore all the retards e-diagnosing you, and go see your fucking doctor, get the proper tests done. No one can medicate you if you don't want meds, even in cases with serious violence its damn near impossible to force meds on them if they're not violent anymore.
Bumpino
>>29161593
Textbook obsessive-compulsive disorder OCD
>Computer acting weird
>Consider that my PC might be infected
>Wonder if there has ever been a virus that puts jumpscares on your computer
>Oh fuck my computer has a virus that will make a jumpscare happen
>Slam sleep mode button before a screamer has the chance to pop up on my screen
>>29151121
>go buy an entirely new ecig because I think it's broken but the new one tastes exactly the same
you need new coils, not a whole new kit silly nigger
Anyone else here bipolar?
It's a ride I'd rather get off.
>tfw transcended my mental illnesses and have become a transcended being
>>29152633
Have you tried Abilify?
I have Scitzoaffective + aspergers
and havent herd a peep since
Also i dont pay attention most of the time as i listen to music when im outside.
>tfw ASPD and literally everyone hates me/is paranoid just because I exist
>>29163377
Antisocial personality disorder? What led to you being diagnosed?
>>29163347
Read the thread, a couple robots have it.
>>29163427
I wasn't diagnosed ASPD, I was sent to a psych (who diagnosed me with conduct disorder) when I was in school because I was a bully (on the few days I actually went into school) and because I got caught having sex (with girls and boys) in the boys' toilets when I was 15/16.
Truth be told I just assume I have ASPD because I have all the symptoms and I had CD before. These days I also have depression and anxiety because everyone hates me for something I can't really control.
We're not so different from aspies in some ways. For example, we have to consciously learn how to socialise; we don't have the sixth sense that normies have.
>>29163445
Yeah I was only halfway through the thread.
>>29163494
Stop self-diagnosing, you're embarrassing yourself.
>>29163564
I was diagnosed with CD and I have the symptoms of ASPD, so it follows that I have ASPD, no?
>histrionic personality disorder
I've only recently come to terms with this, it's been hard for me to admit I have serious issues, but my need for attention and validation in order to have any self worth, random inappropriate outbursts, impulsive behavior all is awful, there's obviously more to it than that, but that's the obvious stuff.
I'm on 75mg venlafaxine (effexor xr), which helps a lot, and I now have self control in regards to slutiness and being manipulative but I still struggle to not push people away all for attention.
I'm trying my best to improve so that my committed relationship with a pre-testosterone FtM bf with BPD (cluster B personality disorders are drawn together) can go on without me ruining everything.
>Tranny
The sad part is although being a tranny is a delusion, it is not one that can be changed, your sense of identity is permanently fucked. It's why even the most red-pilled of us still transition.
Trick is to do it before 20 so you don't look like a man, I started at 17 personally.
>5'1"
>Implying there was a point in remaining a man anyway
I'm better off as a tranny freak.
I'm taking for this:
250mg spironolactone
12mg Progynova (estradiol valerate)
5mg medroxyprogesterone
0.5mg dutasteride
Gotta be autistic about doses if you want good results, so many trannies get cucked.
>>29163609
No, it doesn't. Conduct Disorder doesn't necessarily lead to ASPD, and you're being a retard by self diagnosing.
Go back to Tumblr, with the rest of the self diagnosing retards.
>>29151722
You're 8-12 years old?
>>29163643
post yfw you realize high levels of estrogen gives you cone tits
>>29152704
Where in europe do you live? I live in the Netherlands and literally 70% of the people in my high school were diagnosed with ADHD and given meds, loads of people straight up faked it for the meds so school would be easier. Getting diagnosed with ADHD is a cakewalk nowadays, they give it to everyone without a second thought.
>>29152769
Do you listen to Cattle Decapitation?
What the fuck do you do when depression medication doesn't do anything for you?
My psych keeps asking me what keeps me going all this time and I don't have an answer for her.
>>29152769
Did you trip here in the past? I swear I saw JLH or some other tripfag well the exact same story, like, down to almost the exact same wording in the past.
Seems like too much of a coincidence to me.
>>29164062
I will now.
>>29164180
I'm necrofag.
>>29164308
I thought I recognised the story, no idea why I thought it was JLH though. What made you stop tripping?
>>29152704
I live in Finland and I was diagnosed with ADD
>>29164002
Progesterone my dude, I've been on hrt for basically 2 years and I just want to hit B cups ;_;
They're nice and round and developed tho, progesterone stops the cones.
>>29164337
It was initially to help me come here less frequently, (anonymous posts get fewer replies) but it became apparent to me that I really don't need the trip. Also this way my posts aren't as easily archived.
>>29164905
Nah, it's a good idea mate, I'm glad you dropped the trip, your story isn't any less interesting without it.
You sound like you're doing better than the last time I saw you post though, so that's pretty great man. Good luck with any further recovery.
>>29165016
Thank you, I'll keep doing my best
>>29163948
modern medicine is gonna keep us alive a lot longer than today's elderly.
>Schizoaffective disorder
Supposed to be taking clozapine for my psychosis but I hear shit turns into a vegetable and I don't trust medications.
>OCD, Bulimia Nervosa
Don't really care too much about these
I`ll see a psychiatrist tomorrow cuz i cant stand it anymore. I got the symptoms of Avpd /Body Dysmorfic disorder also i think i got some sort of Maladaptive thingy( rocking back and forth while sitting ,when hearing music, imagination goes super strong, completely aware of surroundings and i can stop it)
What should i expect ? Benzos ,Ssri`s ? How long does it take to diagnose personality disorders?
>>29166664
It takes awhile for you to get medication unless your symptoms are extremely distressing and you're a danger to yourself or others. The kind of medication you get will depend entirely on your diagnosis and medical history, there is no good way to predict what you'll get until then. It takes several weeks of observation, minimum, to diagnose a personality disorder. They need to see pervasive, persistent behavior over a long period of time, in addition to getting information from people who know you, looking through your medical history and talking with you extensively about your symptoms. Any therapist worth their salt does not give out personality disorder diagnosis unless they are absolutely certain that it's the problem, and even then tend to be skeptical until they've known you for a long time and your condition hasn't changed.
It's far, far more likely that you'll be diagnosed with another mental illness, not a personality disorder, within the first couple of weeks. Treatment will be based off of that initial diagnosis, and it can change depending on the conclusions your therapist comes to.
They are there to help you, want to see you get better, but you have to be completely honest with them. Going in with a self-diagnosis and trying to get them to tell you that that's the problem is an enormous waste of everyone's time.
tl;dr don't be a fag, try your best to be patient and let the docs do their job
also psychiatrists typically do not do therapy, you may be referred to a psychologist if they determine you need more intense care
>>29151121
Hi guys, I'm sure I have something but I'm to much of a pussy to see a therapist.
what do ?
>>29166789
Thank you, fellow robot!
I've closed myself completely off from everyone. I stopped talking to all of my family. My phone's been turned off for a while. I keep doing this. I don't do anything all day except lie in bed while I listen to music and watch stupid videos. My room's filled with garbage and vomit and there are flies and ants everywhere. A couple weeks ago I was convinced that Hillary Clinton was operating some sexual slavery cult and one of her agents was coming to kidnap me. I have all these fucked up dreams too.
>Hear voices and car doors slamming that I'm 90% sure aren't real
>see everyone staring at me
wait are you saying these aren't normal?
>>29166889
>A couple weeks ago I was convinced that Hillary Clinton was operating some sexual slavery cult
I mean, this isn't entirely far fetched.
>>29166889
I've closed myself completely off from everyone. I stopped talking to all of my family. My phone's been turned off for a while. I keep doing this. I don't do anything all day except lie in bed while I listen to music and watch stupid videos. My room's filled with garbage...
it's started as relatable, and then
>vomit and there are flies and ants everywhere. A couple weeks ago I was convinced that Hillary Clinton was operating some sexual slavery cult and one of her agents was coming to kidnap me. I have all these fucked up dreams too.
it all go downhill.
takes meds man.
This is a complicated issue, and essentially is a result of excess dopamine. Creating an out of balance problem where you hear or feel things a way you should not.
Balance your nicotine consumpion, nicotine and this problem go together 100%, to the point there are literally no mental patients who don't smoke in hospitals they can't make non-nicotine mental hospitals.
I smoke myself but balance it a bit.
Tomorrow is my last day at a mental day hospital
After that I will have to go to a real mental hospital and stay there 24/7
I am scared and I don't want to lose the people I like
>>29166889
Can you show us a picture of your room
>>29166879
No problem man, best of luck to you
>>29166985
What's your story? They don't just institutionalize people without very good reason
>>29166992
>>29166992
>What's your story?
>be 14
>get social anxiety
>be 16
>get depressions
>be 18
>see psychiatrist for the first time
>he doesn't care at all
>stop taking pills
>stay at home
>be 20
>move to a new city
>ignore mental issues
>they get stronger
>can't go to uni classes anymore
>talk to GP
>refers me to psychiatrist
>talk to psychiatrist
>puts me on some pills
>wants me to start therapy
>weeks go by
>both docs now want me to start going to a hospital
>don't want to
>psychiatrist finds therapist for me
>talk to her a few times
>she is a giant bitch
>stop going to her
>be home for months
>only go outside for food and my doctors appointment
>only eat every few days
>go outside one day
>have a panic attack
>go to psychiatrist
>tell her I want to go to a hospital
>back stuff expecting it to be a normal hospital
>end up in day hospital
>everyone is super nice
>stay there
>life starts hating me
>get 3 months notice that I will get kicked out of my flat, best(only) friend doesn't like me anymore, when trying to talk to old "friends" in my old city they can't handle my issues
>start self harming to control my problems
>get diagnosed with borderline
>get drunk at day hospital
>feel terrible
>go home
>too ashamed to go to the day hospital next day
>ignore my phone
>get a visit that day by the Government and by the day hospital
>they were scared I killed myself
>Monday
>Therapist and Psychiatrist are super pissed
>want me to sign a contract or go to a mental hospital
>don't want to sign contract
>choice the mental hospital
Tomorrow will be my 10th week at the day hospital
They said I will stay at the mental hospital for 4 weeks and then go back to the day hospital
>>29167123
holy shit I really can't write
>>29151121
jesus fucking christ that sounds awful.
i have intrusive thoughts whenever someone speaks to me.
when someone is near me talking my brain goes
>hey here are the most terrible and awful things you can say about this person
>oh and btw these are the terrible things they think about you too! ok now have fun with that :)
>>29167123
Sounds like posturing to me, they can't commit you based on you not going to therapy or not answering your phone, only if you're an immediate risk to yourself an others.
If you don't believe you are, contact an advocacy group (there'll be several in your area, always is) and ask them for advice, because I can't see how your psychiatrist could have you involuntarily put in a ward over that. Especially not for such an organised amount of time.
>>29167199
>>oh and btw these are the terrible things they think about you too! ok now have fun with that :)
Hello tumblr.
>>29151448
>I'm going to kill myself!!
>go to a public place to kill yourself
Literally as bad as the horizontal razor "look at me I wanna die :-(" shuffle.
>>29167227
>muh secret club
hello
>>29167201
This, this, this. You cannot and should not be hospitalized unless you are an immediate threat to yourself or others. Staying in a ward because you're having difficulty with your life is the worst thing they could do- it will institutionalize you and make it next to impossible for you to help yourself.
Get a different shrink, get out of that situation. They are not helping you.
>>29167227
Most of these threads are people identifying themselves via self diagnosed disorders, or asking other people to diagnose them with shit based on a single post, kind of stupid to call that guy in particular tumblr because he used an emoticon, don't you think?
>>29167201
Sadly the day hospital is the only thing left in my life I like
I have actually been happy a few times there
I don't want to give up my only source of happiness just because of 4 weeks
>>29152356
This. Conquering this shit takes a rigid mental regiment of constantly policing your thoughts. Its fucken rough, pills can stabilize you long enough to begin the process but pills alone are not the answer. Twenty years of suicidal depression and anxiety. Spent five years literally afraid of everything and would become a shaking mess if the phone even rings. I still have my dark periods, its easy to fall back into since the neural pathways are pretty established and easy to default to.
Its hard work, its not easy to begin or maintain, but its literally the only thing that works.
>>29167290
we don't want some faggot underage roastie shitting up these threads with generics social anxiety bullshit, kindly kill yourself
>>29167304
plenty of robots have recieved diagnosis from actual psychiatrists. How else would they receive NEETbux? Idiot. Do you think she'll fuck you because you defended her on the internet? Social anxiety faggotry doesn't belong here. If you're not psychotic then get the fuck out with your normie shit.
>>29167310
You don't have to, but contact an advocacy group, because they're not going to be able to force you into a ward off that, they're trying to intimidate you into signing that contract, which is highly fucking unprofessional, and nearly definitely illegal, as it's making you sign it under duress, as well as malpractice (if you don't do this thing, I'll force medical treatment on you). You can keep attending the day hospital, but it could be worth asking for access to a different doctor, at the very least, because that one's not going to help you, assuming what you told us is the full story.
>>29167344
>plenty of robots have recieved diagnosis from actual psychiatrists
Most in these threads haven't, hence why we've had such a huge change in what people are diagnosed with since that stupid fucking chart. We have more schizophrenics in a single fucking thread than decent sized towns will, simply because it's popular.
>How else would they receive NEETbux
NEETbux doesn't just mean disability, most are just on unemployment benefits or living at home with parents.
>Social anxiety faggotry doesn't belong here
Can you not actually read? Intrusive thoughts aren't a symptom of social anxiety necessarily.
>If you're not psychotic then get the fuck out with your normie shit.
Kek, you're one of the self diagnosed schizophrenics I was talking about, aren't you? Can't wait to hear the angry reply listing about all your experiences as a schizophrenic from a AAA hollywood film.
>>29167425
I'm not diagnosed with anything beyond depression and don't pretend to be, I have a CT scan and EEG this month as my psychiatrist thinks my symptoms may be neurological rather than psychological. Schizophrenics have always been over represented on /r9k/, which you would know if you weren't a total fucking newfag.
>>29167425
I've been diagnosed with the same shit by half a dozen (no exaggeration) doctors. I personally know two diagnosed schizophrenics, both of which I met online. They are over represented in communities like this, which you would know if you weren't a complete newfag. Your contrarian posts are shitting up a perfectly good thread, kindly take your easily offended ass somewhere else.
>tfw you have felt the edges of your sanity bubble
It's honestly fucking terrifying when you become acutely aware that you could slip out of that bubble and not come back.
I'm doing okay right now, psych has me meeting with an employment specialist that hooked me up with vocational rehab that's going to pay for all kinds of shit to help me get employed again, and I'm starting to have a little normalcy and routine in my life. Specialist says she might even have a job for me at the library which sounds like something I might be able to manage without turning into a quivering incoherent mass.
I suppose I'm lucky that my psychosis and depression is largely tied to a major trauma when I was a kid, things go a lot better when I can feel like my life is reaching some normalcy.
Being on the verge of homelessness or being absolute fucking terrified I'd be arrested and brutally murdered in jail wasnt exactly helping my mental state.
I could share what triggered all this if anyone's interested.
>>29167480
>I'm not diagnosed with anything beyond depression and don't pretend to be
Then why are you here? Shouldn't you get the fuck out, seeing as you aren't psychotic?
>Schizophrenics have always been over represented on /r9k/, which you would know if you weren't a total fucking newfag.
I've been here for years, genius, and no, that's blatantly incorrect. We used to have more than the average group, sure, but it was a couple people a thread, whereas now it's more people with it than without, it's increased drastically recently.
See OP for what I mean. Someone saying they're actively psychotic, while also listing delusions and saying they're a result of psychosis. That's just not how it works.
And most others always focus on hallucinations and delusions, which are the less frequent symptoms of schizophrenia, the negative symptoms are far, far more frequent, and rarely if ever get brought up.
These threads are as subject to the stupid trending mental illnesses shit as any other forum on the internet, including tumblr, which has the exact same shit go on.
>>29151185
>>29151121
>things I hear that are normal always seem like personal messages
I'm not even super mentally fucked up and this happens. Help
>>29167518
Says the man who threw a tantrum when someone posted about intrusive thoughts, because that disorder is just too tumblr for you.
And over-representation doesn't mean you can't still have people lying anon. Schizophrenia is quite rare, in a group of 100 people, odds are none will have it. But sure, on a forum for people struggling in some way in life, in a thread specifically for mental illness, it'll be much more common. Still not going to be as high as it's become of late.
>>29167555
I agree desu, these threads are 90% self diagnosing faggots.
>>29167608
I'm not that guy, I'm one of the people who posted here about having OCD that's characterized by intrusive thoughts. I understand that you think that people are lying about the mental illnesses that they have, and I agree, but for the sake of a coherent thread it's best to take what everyone says at face-value rather than demanding proof from every single poster. Regardless of how rare a disorder is, if someone describes having psychosis, and says that they're suffering, and are looking to discuss schizophrenia, why the fuck would you have a problem with people talking about it? Are you upset that your mental illness isn't getting as much attention?
>>29151185
>>29152761
>>29167596
Anons there's nothing wrong with understanding that God speaks to you
>>29167608
the tumblr emoticon fag didn't actually have intrusive thoughts, she had social anxiety and was repackaging it as intrusive thoughts to make it sound more serious.
>oh and btw these are the terrible things they think about you too! ok now have fun with that :)
Seriously sounds like something you'd see on a tumblr or facebook webcomic about social anxiety. Also, the guy you replied to wasn't me, you stupid faggot.
>>29167639
Sure, and I'm not gonna go "prove it", because that's retarded, there's no way for them to do that. I'm simply pointing out that it's obvious when people are self diagnosed, because they give descriptions of what they "think" disorders are like. OP is the best example, he's describing active psychosis, but he's describing it as that while claiming to be experiencing it currently, which isn't possible.
I don't have a problem talking to anyone who's legitimately trying to discuss a disorder, or looking for help though, no matter what they say they have.
>>29167683
>the tumblr emoticon fag didn't actually have intrusive thoughts, she had social anxiety and was repackaging it as intrusive thoughts to make it sound more serious.
You're quoting half of what they said so it sounds a certain way. Intrusive thoughts are distinct from anxiety, though it is an anxiety based symptom.
>hey here are the most terrible and awful things you can say about this person
This isn't a sign of social anxiety at all.
> Also, the guy you replied to wasn't me, you stupid faggot.
Wow, yeah, I'm retarded for not realising that some random guy who jumped in in the middle of a discussion with no explanation he was someone else, while arguing the same shit as the other guy, like, the exact same points, wasn't the same guy. I should have just checked your usernames!
>>29167759
>trying THIS hard to defend a woman on the internet
Unfortunately cuckoldry isn't listed in the DSM V, so I think you need to leave this thread buddy.
>>29167814
>implying I even know what gender that person is
>muh cuck meme
Those are some great points anon, but remember, this is an 18 plus website, so you should probably wait a few years before you start posting.
>tfw a perfectly good mental illness thread with really nice discussion and lots of support has devolved into concentrated shitposting
>>29167877
It's either a woman or the most effete man in existence. Either way you should kill yourself for defending them.
>>29167920
I'm sorry, I'm make sure to only defend really manly men in the future. Would you approve of that more?
>>29168000
>really manly men
Yeah I bet you'd like to suck their cock too huh whiteboi?
*unzips dick*
>feel like people can read my thoughts and react to them via facial expression
>when they deny it and call me crazy i feel like they are part of some underground cult designed to keeping me not knowing
>if i watch anything on the media i constantly feel like they are talking to me
saving this thread from oblivion, originally, of course
>>29151327
How are you guys able to type this? I think this is all a lie made by the government to drive me insane.
>>29152076
I'm not schizo and it happens to me too. I'm just super depressed and feel like I'm hiding secrets so that do have some paranoia.
>>29151327
Schizophrenia.
Don't worry they don't lock you up forever. It's only a few months, tops. And afterwards you can get hooked up with neet bux. Still waiting on mine but they said it's almost guaranteed. The meds are soul sucking though.
How do you guys deal with being self aware and understanding the irrationality of your illness?
>>29152462
do you see them if you close your eyes?
How can you guys live with this? I mean, you know, being schizo? I imagine you`re doomed to live a lonely live...
I know that my neighbors are judging me. Everytime I go outside, I fucking know that they're watching me. I FUCKING HATE THEM
>>29171174
I haven't had friends for many years, before I was even diagnosed. I already gave up a long time ago.
>>29171262
Me too.
>>29152462
Did you used to use psychedelic drugs? I used mushrooms once and ever since then I see static everywhere.
How can I deal with abilify causing anhedonia? I don't enjoy anything in life anymore. I can't even watch anime or play video games anymore. Is there anything I can do to fix this?
>>29170990
It's fucking hell. To be perfectly aware of how irrational your illness is, to be unable to reason with yourself when it's tormenting you, it's fucking shit.
You all sound like those wacky ass Malkavians from Vampire the Masquerade. Please seek medical attention.
