Hello. This is the official hack_blastard birthday thread. Celebrate my birthday ITT.
Leave a special message, a kind birthday wish for a growing boy.
IiteraIIy who?
blox
>>28996181
who?
if its your birthday why not go out and celebrate with your friends
what flavor cake are you gonna have?
>>28996215
he's just some shitposter
he and donatello do the same caliber shit except occasionally hack gets triggered/depressed and posts serious stuff
godamnit hack shhhh, no one gives a fuck
Who is this "hack_blastard" fellow? Can someone enlighten me on the situation?
;_______;
I forgot your minion's card.
Please accept this in it's place.
https://youtu.be/ZXLCqA2ARSw
Thank you Lou for this late night birthday surprise!
https://youtu.be/x1Z2PQVeGMA
The first of many fun and silly gifts to be had on this very nice annual event.
>>28996240
I don't much like cake, so I would say that I'd prefer cheesecake. That was u til last year when I ate a 4 week old one and it made me vomit. Epic experience but I can't stomach any cake now. I'd prefer an ice cold glass of meme tea in place of cake.
you're a fucking idiot kill yourself soon please
>>28996259
See here >>28996241
anyways happy birthday mate good luck
I don't know who you are but have a good birthday regardless, growing chap
How old you turning?
>>28996418
18. I had plans to get my life together but they actually all fell through a few hours ago. I've been plotting on them for months, all of my folks are counting on it.
How do I tell my loved ones that I'm a failure? It isn't a meme at all, it really is all downhill from here. Tremendous!
gz on your bday hack. Shroud's bday is also on this day!
-Antonie
>>28996181
Happy birthday, Hack Blastard! You're a big boy now. Today you are a man. In the eyes of the law, you are a man. I know, right? Weird? After all this time as a kid? But it's true. You can vote. You can drive. You can fight and die for your country.
Voting, driving, and fighting don't make you a man any more than your shoe size makes you a man. There are many so-called men out there wearing what amounts to clown shoes. They are not men. They are boys wearing the bodies of men. But let's not dwell on them. I'm here to tell you what I think a man is. How to live as a man. These are the things I would tell you in person if I could, the things I would say to you late at night when the rest of the house is asleep and it's just us two, talking about the important things in life.
So come sit next to me, the way we used when you were small and we read stories together. Remember? Today I tell you the story of You, or the You I see in you. The seed of You that your father and I planted 18 years ago, the day you emerged and the day I first sang to you your victory song.
>>28996241
Greetings, anonymous
>>28996181
Is it really that simple? Can't becoming a man be something more complicated, like finding the just the right shirt and wearing that man-shirt with just the right air of studied insouciance that says to anybody who cares to look, "Hey there! I'm a man!"? Well, no. Sorry to say there is no man-shirt. No sign that you can paste to your forehead. Being a man is far more than looking the part. Man-ness comes from inside you.
So take a deep breath and decide once and for all to own your future, to claim your birthright as a brilliant star, and to walk the path that you create - you and your sweet magic machete carving swaths out of the jungle of rejection, mistrust, uncertainty, and misdirection that springs forth in the face of every stalwart rebel such as yourself.
>>28996639
Thanks for dropping in Donatello. I didn't know you browsed funnydogsite.com as well, it's gotta be one of my favorites.
>>28996181
If there is anything I've neglected to tell you enough times over the past 18 years, it's this. You are a rebel. You were born for greatness. You were born to change worlds. Inside you are the seeds of a kingdom. Being a man means digging deep, finding those seeds, believing they exist, and watering the hell out of them. I tell you this because I know you. I made you, and although I've made many missteps along the machete-path of my own life, you are not one of them.
You are here for a reason. Being a man means making nothing more important that finding out what that reason is and then living it fully, every cell in your body singing a song of victory. Live your reason with every part of you. Don't stop until your heart beats in time with the universe and you know your machete is magic.
>>28996181
What kind of man should you be?
That's up to you. Completely. Being a man, as I see it, is being your own man. It's claiming your place in the world, your unique thread in the global tapestry that together we weave. Being your own man means not taking someone else's path. It means standing up to people who try to tell you what to do or how to do it. It means saying no, maybe dozens of times a day. It means saying yes to what's in your heart, even though your head says something else. It means knowing that your thoughts lie to you sometimes but your body never will.
Being your own man means being a man of your word - saying what you will do and then showing you mean it by taking strong, decisive action. Being your own man means walking in tune with your unique and beautiful heartbeat. It means doing the right thing even though that thing may be scary, or difficult, or you think will piss people off, or even seems dangerous. You do it because it's the right thing to do. You know it's the right thing to do because your body and heart tell you so. Boys do what is easiest. Men do what is right.
>>28996181
A good man knows himself, first and foremost. He knows who he is and what his mission is. He knows his shadow side, too. A good man enters the depths of his soul and stares his shadow in the face, to shine light upon what has lived in darkness. A good man treats others the way they would want to be treated. He is fair in word and action. He admits to being wrong when he is wrong, and he defends his values when they are attacked.
A good man knows how to love. He loves with his whole heart and he knows that vulnerability is not a sign of weakness but of strength. A good man tells the truth - his truth - and joyfully accepts the truths of others, knowing there is room for all. A good man lives for the joy of being alive and of knowing he is doing his best. He does not allow himself to be bound by regrets of the past nor by wishful thinking for the future, but instead takes quiet and decisive action in the present. A good man constantly strives to be a better man.
A good man is a great man. And the world needs more great men. I believe you will one day be a great man.
>>28996181
There is truth in the saying that you cannot truly love others until and unless you love yourself. This phrase used to piss me off, but it was because I lived in denial of my self-hatred and wanted my love to count for something. Don't let that be your legacy; instead, make love for yourself your top priority - always. You are an amazing being, a bright star. Let that be your guiding principle, not to swell your head and place you above others (that's not your way), but to remind yourself of your strength, your wisdom, and your purpose. Maybe you don't yet know your purpose. That's okay. Part of your task as a man is to plumb your depths, the universe that lies inside you, until you find your purpose and live it.
I believe we are all here to love and be loved. So give of yourself generously, willingly, constantly. Wear your heart on the outside and let your love shine forth. It will be a beacon that calls other willing hearts to you. Yes, you will hurt sometimes. Yes, you will feel lonely sometimes. But let yourself love. Men who love fully are a formidable power in the world. When you love fully, with your whole heart, and when you let love find your inner dark corners as well, there will be no stopping you.
>>28996181
A great man knows that he is king of his kingdom. He has the wisdom to seek wise counsel when required. He knows he's not an island and does not exist alone. A great man shines light on the shadow of his fears. He lets himself feel sad when there is something to feel sad about. He lets himself grieve what was lost and what might have been, but does not become lost in the loss and the might-have-been. He channels his anger into creative power to further his passion and penetrate the wide wide world. A great man knows that emotions are energy in motion and he strives not to control his emotions but to allow them to flow through him, bringing life to the cells in his body and the passion in his heart. He knows that flowing with strong emotions is not a sign of weakness but of inner awareness and true strength.
A great man chooses to align with joy as much as possible. He knows that joy is his personal beacon - the things that bring him joy are most closely aligned with his true purpose.
>>28996181
A great man champions community. Find your tribe and steadfastly protect it. A great man makes it his mission to serve something bigger than himself, to seek out injustice, and to right wrongs. He defends the defenseless. He acts as the heartbeat of his community, and constantly feeds that which is greater than himself. He knows his deeds are visible to many and he acts carefully, guarding the trust his community holds in him, and models for others what they do not yet know for themselves.
A great man rides the crest of the wave, spearheading change. He knows that others watch him closely and pattern their footsteps after his. He is the change he wishes to see in the world, and he champions others to do the same.
>>28996181
I believe we are all sparks of the divine. Remember the sacred places inside you and use them as your touchstone, your guiding light, and your inner compass. Spark your inner fire so that you may be a lighthouse for others to follow when their own lights dim. Treat your body as a temple, a holy place, and fashion your life carefully, knowing that every step you make matters.
There is god in you. I see it even if you yet do not. Know it is there and remember it on those dark days and nights when nothing seems right and you feel lost. Remember the spark inside you - its light will never fully dim, and is always ready to warm you even at the coldest of times. Let your actions spring forth from that light within you, guiding your way and lighting your steps.
>>28996181
I believe in you, son. I believe in your heart, your wisdom, and your courage. I believe in the path you now claim that lies before you. I love you like the sun and I am deeply proud of the boy you have been and equally proud of the man you are becoming. A good man. A great man. It begins today. The world needs you.
Love always,
Mama
>>28996805
Thank you mama.
At times when all else is shaky, you provide me with the stable footing I need. I'll never forget you.tfw no mama
>>28996181
i hope you have the worst birthday ever of anyone who has ever lived on this planet and become so depressed that you fucking kill yourself before the day is over you shitposting disgustingly ugly friendless loser cunt faggot.
Hack, are you in need of courtship advice?
>>28996927
whew.
I can still offer courtship advice.
>>28996927
Sure thing, hit me with it.gf?
>>28996952
Who makes this garbage? It has to be one guy doing all of these. Don't ever add me to it
i have some birthday doggos for donatello to use in the future
>>28997029
here's is another birthday doggo
>>28996181
>>28996639
>>28996988
Updated for the birthday boy!
>>28996952
deletethis
Hey hack can you stop spamming the board with your multiple trips and personas? I know you think this is some sort of Kaufman(or in your case probably MDE/Sam Hyde)-esque avant-garde comedy but in reality it's just pathetic and extremely transparent. I saw you pretending to be your Dad in a thread earlier today and it gave me flashbacks to all the embarrassing and retarded shit I used to do on the runescape forums in 2006. Just wanted you to know that's what you're doing right now. You're not being creative, the only thing you're creating is embarrassing memories that you will try your hardest to suppress once you grow up a bit. Please heed my advice and stop posting, you're shitting up the board and you're never going to become internet famous like you so desperately want to be.
>>28997052
##cantaloupe
Why would you ever reveal your code?
>>28997092
Woah, how long did it take you to form those hot opinions? You sure showed him
>>28997092
You have no idea man, I wish I was just being obnoxious. That's literally my father. Google 'Johnny Neptune'. You don't believe me and I understand, it's fine, I wouldn't either. Also leave my pal Sam outta this
>>28997052
It's the tripfag that orbits /soc/ normies. You're the one that makes those cancerous images. Please stop. I have you filtered on my PC but when I mobilepost I have to see your shit.
>>28997103
>Why would you ever reveal your code?
>caring about what people think about your trip persona
People can pretend to be me if they want.It would validate my existence
>>28997153
>sam hyde
toppestkek
I bet you like FilthyFrank too.
>>28996983
Hmm. Do you believe you are worthy of a gf?
>>28996988
You don't want a qt gf?
>>28997052
I improved it.
>>28997177
Can you please leave my birthday thread you peice of shit!!
Normie ree!! Ha-ha
>>28997153
You and Donatello are awesome guys. Please excuse the distasteful banter, I know it's your birthday and all that, but it's the only way I cope with all of the pent up anger.
>>28997216
I bet it isn't even your birthday. You're just a hack. heh
Post proof.
>>28996481
did you get rejected from joining the military or going to a university?
>>28997153
https://www.youtube.com/user/johnnyneptunevids/videos
is that really your dad's youtube channel? why is he making fun of eggman calling him a virgin & loser when he himself was cucked by your biological mother and is drug addict etc...
anyway I'm your #1 Australian fan and fellow MDE Hydian-disciple. happy 18th
>>28997250
I was supposed to move in with some anons up north, didn't work out. Guess I'll do the same thing in the South now, just need to find new people.
And yes that's him. He's fucking crazy. He lost me to foster care years and years ago, one of my subscribers told him my internet alias. Be doxxed me hard and found out I post here, so he learned the culture and everything. True madman.
Still haven't spoken to him though.
Happy birthday faggot
Blox
Seriously. No matter what I say that may seem rude or out of the blue, I will always loves you guys. Waking up to all of your new posts is the only thing that keeps me going day by day. Don't have much else to be excited for.
>>28997200
Okay, sure. Introduce me to my new girlfriend. Nothing to lose. =]
>>28997384
This is your new gf, I hope you like high test.
>>28997426
Oh, that's Pickles. Not a fan of her. Downgraded used-up Pupinia. Will that chart get me a gf? Need a deep romantic bond in my life.
>>28997444
Oh.
Are you /r9k/'s most eligible bachelor? I can work with this.
>>28996181
Happy birthday hack_blastard you're my favorite tripfaggot, and I hope you get rid of all the normie scum on this board. Happy birthday.
>>28997490
Yes, I'd say so. I have a lot to offer as a person. I wish to make my partner feel secure and cherished with my comforting aura.
fuck you
with love
your mother
>>28997524
Alright Donny boy, r9k's edition of the bachelor will start soon.
>>28997620
Oh my.. you flatter me. My modest nature makes me a tad flustered. I guess some necessary questions for a suitable mate would contain the following..
Do you like shy, shut-in boys?
Will you cuddle me at night and read me bedtime stories?
Will you tolerate my manic episodes + paranoia and unconditionally love and support me?
What are your dreams, goals, and aspirations?
Access to backdoor?
>>28997748
Oh Donatello, you are too much.
Prepare yourself, the waifus will be flooding soon.
Guten nacht!
>>28997791
Goodnight, dream of a happier life, whoever you may be ;^)
>birthday soon
>not mentioning when because I don't want gifts or attention
You're pathetic
>>28997907
>tripping on r9k and making terribly boring vlogs on youtube about your dull life and experiences
>I don't want attention
You just can't make this shit up
>>28997938
>implying I care if anyone watches
>thinking I use this trip for attention
Shitposters are really retarded
>>>/s4s/
>>28996181
happy birthday hack blastard, even though you're an annoying and unfunny cunt with a tripfag, I still wish you a great one and hope you have many more but leave /r9k/ and maybe improve your life or something unlike many other tripfag cunts who still continue to infest this board
>>28997938
>>28998001
Bahahaha mr. autist absolutely anally raped
