>be me
>2am
>4000 words due in 12 hours
>7 days late so far
>can still hand it in as late score 40 and pass
>failed all 3 modules of first semester, need resits
>will certainly fail my 5th module, maybe my 6th
If I write like crazy and at least hand this in, it'll be ok, right guys?
>>28826501
That's what i said before i dropped out and now work at Home Depot.
>>28826501
and here you are.
stop wasting money m8
>>28826501
I think I remember you. Are you the person who had a 4.0 GPA but then got lazy in their last semester?
I failed out of school, and now I work at a fucking warehouse slaving away while trying to go to community college. I had scholarships and loans so I didn't have to work. Instead of going to class, I drank shit posted and vidya all day every day for 2 years. Now I am paying for it. If I'm not in school like now during the summer, they expect payments for my student loans. Don't mess up my friend, or you'll hate yourself even more.
>>28828132
>>28826501
>be a foriegn student from middle class family
>my parents literally sold their houses to send me here to study
>I passed 1 semester with not quite good gpa
>totally fail 5/6 classes in 2nd semester
>I retake the second semester and stopped going to classes after mid term
>fail in all the classes
>stopped going to college
>its been a year iam living in my parents money lieing to them everyday that i am going to college
>so for wasted around $50000 for literally nothing
Idk what to do. I want to kill myself but I dont want them to get them completely devastated. I want my life back. Idk why I was so lazy and lathargic, I just want my prime years of 18-21 back. If i tell them the truth now they will be devastated but I kill myself that will be even more painful and I still eat and sleep on their money. What should I do? Please help.
>>28827122
>>28827495
>>28828132
>>28828365
ok guys you convinced me. I'm doing what I did for my first year of uni and drinking a shit tonne to make writing easier. Worked a treat for me in my first year, I gave it up second year, and look what happened.
Even if I fail, atleast I got to get drunk.
>>28828365
Do you have citzenship for the country you're studying in?
If your desperate you could take out a loan (hopefully with low interest) pay your parents back and go ghost, living in some hovel
>>28828428
No. But seriously these last three years have been hell. I enjoyed being lazy and doing nothing but now I really understand where I am in life. Literally everything theyve spent for was a waste for this last 3 years. I couldve had a better education back in my home country for just $10000 but I forced my parents and I fail them every minute.
>>28828365
Tell them the truth, here's how it went for me. Not gonna green text because mobile.
After my second year, I went back home with a shit GPA thinking I was going to fix it the next semester. A month into summer vacation I get an email saying that I am on academic probation and need to talk to a counselor immediately.
Long story short, I was fucked and no way to go back without going to some community college. I kept it a secret til the week before the semester is supposed to start. I tell my mother I'm going to a friend's house to say goodbye. From there I called her and told her I wasn't allowed back at school.
I hung up, drank a lot with my friend, and avoided home for 3 days to let her cool off a bit. I still got some major shit, and still do, but I think I did it the easiest way possible.
>>28826501
/whoabouttofailfinalshere/?
>go to cc
>last chapter exam for physics/mechanics class before final
>out of five questions, I could only answer two while the rest were pity attempts.
I suppose I didn't deserve that B.
Also
>have research paper due for English class this friday
>uninspired
>unable to read these fucking articles man
>already bsed essays for philosophy class, which I regret because the professor was pretty cool
I was btfo these last two weeks,
>>28828390
Hope you succeed. My first semester I discovered alcohol and homework. I was too hung over to go to class to turn in my final paper, so I emailed the prof hours later my paper with a picture of Carlton Banks in an Elf suit with a present and an apology for missing class. I got a B on that paper and a merry Christmas.
>>28828535
But its been more than a year since i left college. I didnt go to a job meanwhile but i lied to them and kept asking for their money. They actually sent me my fees on january which iam using it for my rent and food expense. Iam in between life and death, but whatever I choose it will be a great disappoint to them.
>>28828535
how much shit did you get in?
>>28828496
Don't be too hard on yourself. IMO if your parents were sending you to another country and they know you're autistic (like all of us robots) they should have made more of an effort to monitor your behavior and grades. They're adults too, who should know you as a person, and throwing money at someone (in terms of common sense) is never a good idea.
Going to school I'm guessing you were what, 18? No sane adult would give an 1 year old 50, 000 dollars. Even more insane to think you'd give that much money to a teenager, without supervision, and expect the best result to happen. Of course you're looking back in hindsight, but now that you know your problems you should do everything in your power to fix yourself.
>>28828677
meant to say 18 year old not 1 year old
>>28828535
Idiot, just retake the classes you failed
>>28828365
Just lie about going to college and get a forged diploma. You can do it in photoshop yourself in a couple hours, way cheaper than tuition. HR departments are fucking lazy and don't actually do the whole process to check that shit, you just show them a degree and they'll assume you're good to go. You'll only run into problems if you start applying for jobs at big companies that do things properly and you're way too much of a fuckup dropout to succeed in that kind of environment so don't worry about it buddy.
>>28828677
Well to be honest I made myself look smart to my parents. I pretended to be really clever infront of my parents and they TRUSTED me. I cant blame for being the best parents in the world. Its just me being a terrible human being. About fixing myself i honestly dont know, I sold myself to general labour wageslavery yesterday and supposed to start from tomorrow 7am. I still dont care much because its a shitty job and it really wont fix anything other than save about 6000 bucks from my parents bank account.
Should I go back? or not?
If I go back, thats all my family will be ashamed and I will have to do the same wageslavery for my entire life or study a shitty course in a shitty college for another 3 fucking years while everyone around me laugh at me for the failure I am.
If I dont I would keep leeching off my parents but I might get kicked out off the country but before that I will poison myself or kill myself.
>>28828801
>Just lie about going to college and get a forged diploma
Ye i would rather just kill myself than go to prison
>>28828656
Well the the more time spent not telling them so, the more angry they will get. So you should try to to tell them ASAP.
>>28828677
Well my mom didn't pay for shit so it's more of a constant reminder of what I failed. She always says, "you would have to work like a dog if you didn't fuck up your life at school." That and some yelling of course. Now I pay her rent, some utilities and my own food.
>>28828792
What do you think I'm doing at CC now?
>>28828365
This is nightmare fuel for me.
>tfw the family's financial stability rests on your shoulders
>>28828875
>Well the the more time spent not telling them so, the more angry they will get. So you should try to to tell them ASAP
I was thinking of telling them that I failed the 4th semester (which I shouldve took if i had passed) so atleast they will think I havent lieing to them. But since iam too much of a moral fag I cant lie to them anymore. I am honestly fucking trapped. WHY THE FUCK DID MY LIFE HAD TO GET TOO COMPLICATED?!! ;_;
Everyone and anyone can get a 4 year STEM degree these days but I have fucked up so fucking much. ITS NOT FAIR, ITS MY BAD TIMES.
>>28826501
4k words in 12 hours is like 1 word every 10 seconds.
You'll be FINE.
>>28828826
Again an 18 year old, outsmarting his parents, fully grown adults, is a sign your parents aren't exactly using 100% of their reasoning power. I'm not saying you should blame your parents, i think now that your self-aware of your problems you can't. But back when you first started school, I mean c'mon, their son is away in school with thousands of dollars in the bank, they should be calling everyday looking for straight answers.
The first thing you should do is go back, imo being in your home country working is way safer than working in a foreign country. When you get back to your home country THEN you should think about your next move, maybe while staying at a friends or a hostel.
>>28828875
That seems like terrible parenting. If she didn't teach you any skills about how to be successful she shouldn't be surprised when you fail. At the minimum a small percent, let's say 30%, of your mental issues are from her parenting.
Hahaha, you call that being a fuck up?
>graduate high school a semester early, future looks all bright and rosy to people around me
>severely depressed and hiding most of it
>self medicating with weed and some stronger things
>go to college
>drop after a week
>smoke more weed
>get a job
>quit after a few months
>only friend leaves for college
>drug use escalates, heroin, uppers, benzo's, etc.
>get really, really into benzo's a couple times because they're so cheap online
>January is just a blank space
>March is a blank space leading up to the point where I try to kill myself but can't force myself too, then end up in the ER with extremely severe benzodiazepine withdrawal
>end up in the psych ward for 10 days
>go to a partial hospitalization program for two weeks before quitting because I hated that shit
>oh look now I'm taking steps to kill myself again, might as well do a shitload of heroin
>hooray, I don't want to die anymore
>oops, I just OD'd
>back in the psych ward for 20 days
>still want to kill myself at least half the time I'm conscious, and not even pretending to myself that I want to be sober
>still 18, so people always tell me about how much potential I have, and I just give them a fake smile
Get on my level faggot.
>>28828973
Times will be tough I'm not going to lie. On many occasions I woke up in bed and just began crying, wondering why bother being alive. It might not get better, but the sooner you do it, the sooner you can get used to it, and the sooner you can get started on fixing it.
It's a gradual process for me, but I at least feel better than at my worst times.
>>28828995
Yeah I tell myself that too. I know she fucked me up socially, locking me up away from children when I was young, and telling my secrets I told her to her friends and laughing about it even when I was around. I know she loves me and means well, but she can be a bitch most of the time.
In the end, all we can do is try to deal with what we get and move on.
>>28829050
thanks for replying dude. But do you think i should go to my job tomorrow?
>>28829111
you should move away, sounds like a toxic environment
>>28829126
Probably a good idea. Working shows your parents that you are capable of taking care of yourself and not a lost cause. If not for the money, do it so that you can show your parents that you are responsible and that you are capable.
>>28828995
I want to add as well, to this guy >>28828826 that if you tell your parents you're just pushing your problems back onto them. If they weren't able to raise you properly or teach you how to be independent what makes you think they'll be any more equipped to help you with this problem. Unless they're accountants or something you should just pretend that you have a 50, 000 debt to the bank and figure out your own path.
>>28829134
Well she ropes me in with, "I won't be able to support myself and your sister if you leave." And the rent is not too bad, let's me work only 18 hours a week and I can afford the bills and have lots of left over cash. As soon as I get my degree and can get a job that isn't physical labor, I'm gone. Thanks for the advice though.
>>28829045
..shit man
what went wrong? some innate depression shit? or what?
You really have to be retarded to get so worked up over a degree. I know chinks that paid tutors $2000 to do all their homework and take their tests for them (asians look the same you see). Degrees literally do not matter, I haven't used any of the knowledge I gained obtaining mine in my career, and I'm still in debt for it.
If you don't want to forge the degree you could at least work on getting a bunch of professional certs and land a job before you tell your parents. People post test dumps for basically every kind of IT certification exam online, and I'm sure there's all sorts of Indian bumblefucks doing the same for your finance, engineering and electrician certs too.
Just make up a story about how you're too poor for community college or dropped out because your mom was sick and as long as you have the certs some moron small business owner will let you in the door and once you have that on your resume you're golden. Way more efficient than 4 years and student loans.
>>28829214
I am more concerned with their feelings than the money. Money lets say if I even did minimum wage job for the rest of my life i can pay it off. I am more worried about my parents getting disappointed. I honestly think the only way to save my parents humiliation is to set up my suicide like accident.
>>28827122
Kek, I work at Home Depot as well. Which department you in?
I'm in D94, fucking worst department in the store.
>>28829268
Fairly severe, medication resistant depression. I'm on seven different meds and that barely even touches it.
>>28829292
I know a guy with no degree but of bunch computer application certificates and knowledge land a job in australia and literally earned $100000AUS. He also set up scam websites for a living. Too bad iam too much of a dumbfuck AND emotionally dead to do anything anymore. But thanks for your input.
>>28829298
You should stop worrying about your parents feelings if the best they could do was throw money at you. Obviously they didn't care much for yours and were hoping you'd just "figure things out" while in school in a foreign country.
Figure things out the best you can, pay them back the money and just visit them on holidays/birthdays. I think a big thing on your mind is that you've already made the decision that you HAVE to live with them and talk to them everyday
But yeah, you should go back to your home country and try and find work, at the end of the day if your attempt at fixing yourself fails you could attempt suicide
>>28829468
Its not their fault for having a lieing piece of shit son. Anyway thanks for the (you)
>>28829614
you may be a piece of shit, but you're our piece of shit, good luck anon
FUCKING GET OFF OF HERE AND GO WRITE YOUR PAPER WHILE YOU STILL HAVE A CHANCE AT SALVAGING YOUR GRADE.
>went upstate to college in a last-ditch attempt to become a normie and overcome my crippling mental illness
>actually manage to make a few friends during the two-week orientation, go to a party for the first time in my life, feels like I'm actually making it as a person
>semester starts and they all forget about me because they have new friends and different classes
>too late for me to make new friends because everyone has found their own tight-knit group by now
>spend the first two semesters completely alone, being slowly crushed by the fact that everyone's having a great time at college except for me
>realized I will never, ever be able to lead a normal, functioning life; the game was rigged against me from the very moment I was born and I just keep failing everything I ever try
>give up
>spend the entire third semester alone in my room abusing prescription drugs
>on the rare occasions that guilt would get the better of me, I would actually show up to class disheveled and smelling like shit, trying to ignore the people staring at me
>would go weeks without speaking a word to anyone simply because I had no one to talk to
>it was a small school (2,000 students) so literally everyone was friends with each other except for me
>was asked "Do you even go to this school?" by a girl who I'd had two classes with, died a little inside
>would go days without sleeping because everyone was so fucking loud all the time that it kept me awake
>professors kept giving me second and third and fourth chances because they felt sorry for me and I just consistently kept letting them down
>wound up failing three of my classes
>got put on academic probation over winter break
>never went back
>dropped out instead
>living the NEETlyfe at my mom's house
>probably going to kill myself this year
Well, it's been fun.
>>28829669
thanks robot. But yea in the middle of all this iam a kissless virgin too, despite having several chances to lose it back in the high school.
>>28829339
>>28829339
Damn. I feel for you, man. I recently turned 19, so as a person in a similar age group and as a another person browsing this board, I feel for you. I'm a fucking typical compared to you, though.
>>28829702
But will you? Its not as easy as you are typing it on a amazonian venomous green toad poison appreciation forum. I tried to strangle myself with my scarf last year but I was too scared and worried that it wont kill me. So i didnt and here I am after 11 months of doing nothing.
>>28829045
Cant you OD on herion and die in the process?
>be uni freshman
>had a 4.0 in high school
>go for liberal arts degree, get A's in all my classes
>decide that's fucking stupid and I'm going to go into mechanical engineering instead
>my stupid brain doesn't understand shit
>I also realize I don't care about the subject at all, and I'm just scared of being poor, which makes me unmotivated
>get 2 D's and an F second semester
>now on academic warning, get dismissed if I have a bad GPA next semester
>mom decides she needs to see all my bank transactions, my grades, and I need to go to therapy, or else she's gonna cut me off
>she gives her siblings control over what money I get if she dies in her will
>>28829803
Probably not, it's just comforting to think about. I think I'll wind up wasting another ten or twenty years of my life before I reach the point of no return and have no other choice. My therapist always tells me that there's no such thing as a point of no return and that it's never too late to turn your life around but I think that's a load of feel-good bullshit. Too late for a career, too late to start a family, body absolutely fucked and getting worse by the day, your """"""""""best"""""""""" years way behind you, decades of loneliness and alienation that you can't just wipe away--there absolutely is a point of no return.
>>28829964
>going to a normieist
Do you think the therapist cares about you? All he or she does is listen to your shitty story and go back home to a nice house, nice family, have sex everyday, enjoy weekends, etc,. Just stop wasting your time with the therapist anon. All we have is our "good" or in this case just memories of better times. I just keep imagining and reminding my past every fucking hour.
>>28829905
You are still in college or university. STEM is easy if you have really good at basics. Just ask or pay your classmate to teach you and pass with 3+ gpa and you are set for life.
>go for biology because muh stem
>get cold feet on assigments
>drop 4/5 classes, become neet
>try again after 1 1/2 years, same thing happens
>dissapointed mom again
>bipolar sister suffocating me
>despair and emptiness coming back
>babby wants his bawwdle mommy, im going to fail my finals!
fucking amateurs,all of you
except for this guy. >>28829045
You guys think you are fuck ups? I just got a DUI and spent a night in jail. I'm going to have to shell out $5000 for an attorney and various fees in the next few months.
Fuck man, I failed out my first year of uni and felt terrible for years after
I really fucking wish I could hug some of you
