What was the saddest time of your life, anon?
When I realized that no matter how hard I tried to hide it, people knew that I was in special education in highschool.
>>28690261
once i didint had electricty for a week cuz no money to pay the bill
was literally forced to sleep,to pass the time
When high school was over and I realized I didn't had a good adolescence, but what made me more upset is that if I had more ball, I could had fucked many pussies.
My life could have been so good anons, so good, but I fuck it all up. No matter how much I live, I will never know how good teenage love is
>>28690261
Every morning, when I wake up and realize how badly I fucked up the day before.
>>28690304
What is your disorder, anon?
>>28690331
Could you not turn to family for help?
>>28690371
>tfw you'll never ride a qt on your bicycle handlebars
>tfw you'll never sneak in her window
>tfw you'll never go to the lake with your 9th grade pals
It pains me too
>>28690399
Well that's why you must change as soon as possible. It isn't hard to stop the cycle anon
>>28690261
11-12th grade. Ironically, those were the years that I was the most popular in school.
Also, the year after I quit my food service job.
>>28690304
They put me in sped class for no reason at some point in middle school and then that's it, nothing you can do for the rest of your school life. Sped teacher walks in and interrupts the class saying "okay, I'd like to see; Jack, Bob and Anon." Everyone stares quietly as we take our walk of shame. Then we're taken to a small room to study. What sociopath is in charge of all this? "Do you need extra time on your exam?" no I don't actually and what kind of life lesson is that just to give hand outs? That's horrible.
>>28690261
>>28690261
Overdosing on meth alone in my shit-stain apartment, actually seeing death and feeling it's embrace.
Don't forget to make good choices in life, and listen to your parents, ok kids.
when my first relationship endedthey got arrestedi think they killed themselves afterward
and i went back to my normal, privileged life
>>28690469
it's k, my mom sent me to the special ed math class.
My math partner was a tard in a wheelchair who would constantly screech about jesus and do weird shit with his hands.
They rewarded us with skittles
>>28690371
Motherfucker I went to an all men HS!
At least you got to see the opposite sex each day while I was stuck with dudes for 8 hours each fucking school day for 6 damn years.........
>>28690304
Yeah, I had the same option, although I was given a choice, For me I wanted to prove to myself that I could do the exams without breaking down. Because Life doesn't give me "time to think"
Also it really wasn't as stigmatised, most were envious because they didn't get extra time.
Right now senpai
>>28690515
I used to bitch about the special ed kids because they flaunted the crap they bought with their GBP.
"Why did he get a cool spiderman action figure for learning 2+2? I didn't get anything for getting an A on my test..."
Then, at camp, I learned why some kids needed an adult with them at all times. I wasn't jealous anymore.
What is the point of a partner in math anyway? That seems like it would complicate things.
>>28690656
>What is the point of a partner in math anyway?
idk man, mormon schools and shit
You are lucky dude...you didn't have to see chad steal your Oneitis. You didn't have to deal with guys acting like dicks to attract attention. You got lucky bro just hangin out with bros. unless you are chad you got lucky
>>28690371
When I grew up and understood that I would never experience a female childhood. That I would never fit in and always be an outsider no matter where I went
Not to mention realising that I look ugly as sin.
>>28690431
I was never told.
I was just suddenly put in spec ed since elementary school.
I don't know what disability I had at all.
Maybe I was always a crazy depressed anxious kid just like I am now.
>>28690775
>I would never experience a female childhood
F A G
A
G
My entire childhood. Things are so much better now it's ridiculous.
When I got addicted to heroin and had to come home in the middle of the night to ask my dad for help. I was kicking really bad and he had no idea what to do. He was so afraid I was going to leave in the middle of the night before I could get help.
today, my dad passed away about 6 hours ago from cancer. I never realized why people created religion until that moment by his bedside watching him take his last breath.
I don't know, seriously. Shit happened trough all my entire life, but I still don't have a winner.
sophomore year of high school. I basically lost my mind for the entire 2nd trimester, spent time in the loony bin, tried to off myself, and spent the whole year sitting alone at lunch.
A close second would probably be graduation. The guy before me was really popular, so when we walked, the whole stadium it was in was cheering and clapping.
Nobody clapped for me.
I'm still living it.
>>28690949
>The guy before me was really popular, so when we walked, the whole stadium it was in was cheering and clapping.
>Nobody clapped for me.
wow this was fucking painful to read, famalam. I will clap for you anon. Congrats on graduating.
>>28690928
I'm sorry.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
>>28690261
I have never been sad, OP. :)
>>28691123
thanks anon desu ;-;
>>28690261
Saddest time? Probably one night while I was alone in my room wishing I didn't exist anymore.
But sadness isn't what gets to me. Sadness is a byproduct, it's the effect of something bigger. What I truly fear is absolutely loneliness. An endless void of nothing but myself. That has only happened once, and I'll tell you exactly how it happened...
First, a little backstory
>7th grade, not many friends, alright life though
>getting depressed, meet emo people, like them
>start cutting, doing general emo shit
>emotionally manipulating people into caring about me and then having to leave because I hurt them so much
>hated myself for it, but it felt great to be loved so passionately even if I knew they would leave
>8th grade, friend kills himself
>fwb his now ex-gf, shit was hot
>9th grade, first steady relationship
>lose v card, but lots of fights with her
>no real friends but her and her 5 friends at this point
>10th grade, that ends
>cont...
>>28690261
When I realized I would never be normal, that I'm just a social failure.
I developped social phobia since
>>28690304
I was put in special ed by my parents in 1st grade. The school said I had dyslexia but my dad always said everyone has it, so he protested. They diagnosed me with "trouble in mathematical calculation and reading fluency". They would pull me out in the middle of class and talk to me or take me to a room and I would do tests and play board games and I would always get feelings of shame and embarrassment. I was in speech in school as well because of stuttering
>>28690261
7th grade I won the school spelling bee. Apart from the younger kids who didn't know any better, none of the older kids, including my peers, clapped for me. Not even evil eyes from all my teachers could get them to clap.
Second was probably in my senior year of high school when I waited 30 an hour to buy a prom ticket just so I could go alone. The guy at the table loudly said that, "I'm sorry, but you cannot go to prom alone" in front of all of my teachers and many of my classmates. It took every remaining ounce of strength I had in me when I got home to not put my hunting rifle in my mouth.
>>28690304
>>28691386
Not to mention I didn't find out what I was "diagnosed" with until I was a junior in high school
someone shop the OP pic into witch beatrice from dark souls. pls.
>>28690304
>tfw you were too smart to be put in the special class
>tfw most don't even realize you're an aspie, they just think you're a weird nerd
>>28691309
>December of 10th grade
>Life sucks (as much as it can for a 16yr/old)
>Constant fights with parents
>shit grades
>no friends
>gf left me
>Get into fight with dad about grocery shopping
>I tell him i'm depressed
>he didn't know
>I called the suicide hotline during the argument, emt's show up
>I had several plans. I had supplies at the ready
>Go to hospital, day goes by like a bad dream
>end up in mental hospital
>"No shoelaces, jackets or pants with drawstrings, toothbrushes will be provided and you will give them back to be disposed of"
>All kids younger than me, mostly retarded
>that night
>sitting in my room (luckily got a room without another tard in it)
>alone in my own thoughts
>thought how I could have prevented it
>if only i had done it instead of calling
>if only i had done it one of the times i threatened to
>how can I do it now?
>could break window and jab a piece of glass into my neck
>could try to choke myself with my clothes
>these thoughts went on until around 2 am, bed time was at 8.
>I was alone. I felt abandoned in my own head. I didn't even want to be around myself anymore.
>Felt more alone then I ever have even to this day.
>I realized I no longer cared about other people, i just wanted them to be there for me
>I realized how montrous I was to everyone
>I screamed in my head, calling myself everything i could think of
>It felt like my consciousness was being torn in two
>I sat there that night and cried silently until the morning.
>the next day I felt like a shell. I didn't pay attention to anything. I just did what I was told
>>28690946
This, I only have a hand full of happy moments in my childhood. Here's to a shifty life anon
Spring 2015
>fired from job, the only job I've ever had that had any sort of future
>on top of the usual robot things like being 25 and never having a gf, having no positive life experience, no friends, my inability to function around people, etc.
>mom went psychotic and was arrested for driving around high and attacking a cop
>no way I could pay the bills on my own so I lived off my savings for the small amount of time I could last
>did nothing but order unhealthy food, shit up 4chan, cry, and plan my suicide
Eventually some things fell into place at the last minute and a relative moved in but I never really healed. I still feel like a part of me died back then.
>>28690261
Today, my gf of almost 2 years dumped me cause her parents dont like me
My girlfriend of 8 months broke up with me yesterday because she said she missed her ex.
>>28690304
I went from gifted in 5th grade to special ed. in 6th. It was deflating. One of the many reasons I grew more depressed bottoming out at 16 years old.
>>28691682
>gf
Run along little normalfag, you can't even begin to fathom what true suffering is
>>28690304
I was put in special ed as a kid but my mom refused to have me diagnosed with anything cause she didn't want me to be labelled
When I lived in a 1 bedroom apartment with my mom when I was in highschool. It didn't last long.
when my mother's meth habit became too difficult for her to hide
Today, tomorrow will be even worse.
Time is flying and still my life goes nowhere, I'm 22 already, next year I will be 23, when I think about it I feel anxious and depressed.
>>28690261
Anytime I think of the past or my past actions.
it's all been pretty shitty. I suppose this is the saddest time of my life. So much has gone wrong, only part of it I had any control over to begin with. I'd kill myself, but I'm afraid of the act of dying, though at this point I think I've earned the peace of death. I don't want to be better anymore, I'm so tired. I don't want anything, nothing appeals to me. I've quite honestly become the most worthless piece of shit possible.. though I am a really nice and decent guy, i'd never hurt anybody, I'm not a thief or a liar, I don't have anger issues or anything like that. I'm pretty much a complete waste. I'm not a bad person, just worthless.
>>28690261
When I dropped out of highschool to get my GED and realized my parents wouldn't support me.
>>28690261
Basically from the moment I became aware (10-12ish?) to now and into the foreseeable future.
>>28690304
>Was in special ed in elementary school
>Everyone knew and the Mexican kids always made fun of me for that
>Stopped going to special ed around middle school when I moved to a different town
>No one knew I was autistic and ended up having a lot of friends
Man, my life has been a miserable piece of shit. I honestly don't know why I'm still alive and haven't committed suicide yet?
I have too many miserable memories so you pick them.
>The time my mother took me to her friends house on Christmas as a little kid, all the kids had presents under the giant tree but me and I was forced to watch them unwrap their presents with their happy family
>The other Christmas time when I was a kid, knew Santa wasn't real but my mother asked me to write a list anyways. I knew we were poor so all I asked is for some new shirts. Got excited for my present of shirts, went to the tree and there was nothing under the tree on Christmas
>When I ended up in Foster Care
>then in foster care again
>When my mother called me a monster as a child, only to look it up and cry like a little bitch
>When my mother told me that she only keeps me around because she gets a check every month
>When I'd get bullied and the crap beaten out of me in school everyday for being short/skinny/poor
>The time I woke up as an teen in HS with my stomach growling hard, a roach was crawling on my hand. There was no food in the fridge, the place was a giant mess and I was all alone with no friends and gf so I tried to kill myself that day, only to fail at that too
Why do I get up every morning? I'm not going anywhere in my life, surviving but not living. Nobody gives a fuck about me so then why?
>>28690261
all the time, all the time.
>>28690261
When I got my first pair of skinny jeans in middle school. This was when the whole scene/emo thing was sooper hip. I didn't know when I bought them but they were female jeans. To be specific they were Miley Cyrus brand size 3. I got harassed daily. Homosexual insults, asking how my balls felt, calling me a girl. I'm glad they did it because now I'm not a fucking retard, but man were middle schoolers tough. That place is a warzone and I wish the best to any betas just trying to make it through those horrid times.
Right now.
I discovered i suffer from erectile dysfunction and can't get better.
>>28692230
>Was autistic since Kindergarten
>Been diagnosed at the same time
>7th grade murdered me, as all cliques basically wanted me dead
>Had to move for safety
>Went to a quiet 'charter school'
>Already you know how it went
>Finally got a decent GPA and a Diploma
>Basically worthless, considering I learned nothing
>However, shit's over
>mfw com college started
>made lots of friends while hiding power level
Same reaction as yours. Somehow life favors you more when you're done.
>>28692235
Why do you think you're still here?
>>28692658
I don't know, maybe Karma is real and in a past life I was a real asshole or something sent her to suffer, die and repeat for several lifetimes. I hate that nearly all religions say that if you kill yourself, you'll only experience something worse. Karma fags say that if you commit suicide, you'll only experience all that shit over again in the next life until you "learn your lesson" and die to something not suicide
>>28690775
>you will never experience female childhood
It's truly one of the most saddest feels.
Right now.
>End of highschool
>No gf ever
>Dad buys me a 45th Anniversary Camaro SS to make me feel better
>Easily the fastest car in the school
>Nobody will know since I don't have a license and can't drive it to school
>Prom is tomorrow
>No date, naturally (who would go to prom with a guy who can't drive?)
>No license so I can't even drive my car to beach house my friends invited me to
>Dad has to drive me
Fuck this. I'm 18 with no goddamn license. My faggot parents haven't filled out the paperwork.
Call me an ungrateful little faggot I don't care. I've been bitching for 2 years for them to fill out the paperwork and let me take the test, and now I'm leaving highschool as the ultimate loser.
Realizing that no matter what I do I'll never be accepted by anyone and i will die alone.
>>28691396
Why would you want to torture yourself by going to prom? If you were going alone, you'd just wind up sitting there alone and miserable anyways. Why waste the money?
>>28693277
Shut up ungrateful faggot.
You're 18, take the fucking test.
>>28690261
It started in June or July 2015 and still hasn't ended.
>>28690261
When my family crumbled, then half of them died, and I'm only with strangers. I realize that I'm the only one remaining.every day, I'm reminded of my dead loved ones, and what they could've done in life. I mourn for them every day in silence.
>>28690304
>tfw was held back a grade
>was in special ed in High school
>was in High school until age 19
>>28690928
oh boy, the feel train has no breaks
>>28690261
When my little brother got run over by a car in front of my eyes when I was 16.
>>28693793
...where did you get this anon..
>>28690928
You asked what he saw?
I am very sorry anon my aunt had breast cancer and the chemo it's a bitch
>>28692267
Sounds just like me
i'd say when i was beaten daily from the earliest age i can remember until i was 13 and able to finally fight back properly to make it stop but at least life was simple back then i hate it more now
>>28690261
My birth
surprising that this isn't original
Right now.
There is no past, there is only now.
>>28690983
This hurts me deeply, i will clap for you anon.
>>28692280
Me rn, ill go now, /r9k/ despises underaged filth such as me.
>>28690982
This. Sweet jesus, someone please help me.
>>28693277
you have a 45th-anniversary Camaro ss and you're complaining?
>>28690880
This
Looking back at my childhood, I feel like that wasn't even me
Like I didn't have any free will and wasn't aware of any options other than those that were pushed on me
>>28693277
You are 18, make an appointment with the DMV, tell your dad about it, then have him drive your ass over there and get this shit started.
Though to be honest it would be good if they walked you through with this because it is something you have to do in life which is filling out paper work for yourself by yourself for MANY things.
I'm at my saddest atm. Fiancee that I've been with for 5 years dumped me and a day later fucks some dude because he reminds her of her dad.....
Jokes on her because she got hepatitis C from him 2 weeks after.
How can a woman spurn me so, I had everything laid out for us... I even had 100k in savings a house a car.. I was ready damnit!
Now all I do is drink, she was perfect for me... Maybe I'll off myself today.
You guys have a good day.
>>28690261
I took a lot of estrogen when I was 17 because I wanted to cultivate an objective good appearance and my face was much more feminine than masculine and i was pretty skinny in general and already somewhat feminine. Becomine masculine and working out and all sounded tiring as fuck
I started wearing wigs and going on public transport and rubbing up against old guys who would in turn rub up against me and I'd get turned on by that and would jack off when i got home
>>28690261
Every year is much worse than the previous because the gap is more and more apparent between me and normal human beings.
When I turned 30 I realized it is impossible close anymore.
be 23 years old
- Doctor tells me I have a herniated disc in the bottom of my spine and it either drugs or surgery
- Dad scares shit out of me with bad surgery stories
- Puss out, get tramadol and it fucks up my mind and body, def gave my psychosis.
- Realize I am on my own from here on out and wont ever get to enlist in Army as was my backup plan
Previous to this day
-be 22 waiter in town I never left except for one terrible year in Orlando
-Get hurt at work
-boss takes advantage of me and doesnt let me file work comp
-have to go thru 3 lawyers who belittle me just to get work comp to acknowledge my case
- pick up terrible destructive self medicating habits to deal with pain
- Feel shame, regret, embarrsment, low self worth, confidence fleeting like never before
FASTFORWARD TO TODAY
28 live at home, never made more then poverty level income, want to die, constant daily pain, insurance company fucks with me and doesnt file my cortisone shots on time, be addicted to pol, buy 357 snub nose to inevitably take my life soon.
Its a weird feeling have a 357 in your mouth with hammer cocked manually as it does not cock normally and any slip will result in death.
Note: To those of you planning a self exit, You will cling to life despite all obstacles, You will feel that reget, You will feel fear for your family knowing you wont be there if shtf as it always does in one way or another.
To you Neets, Enlist now, Change your life, So many losers make great lifes by enlisting and you wallowing in your weaknesses is pathetic.
>>28690261
Well, I'd count the time of when my first girlfriend revealed she actually was cheating on me, as I had suspected for 6 months, but women aren't worth that.
No, the saddest time was when all of my friends and family collectively yelled at, ignored me, and kicked me out.
Sleeping in a car because you have nowhere else to go for a while sucks.
>>28695979
Whoa, bro. If you really have a 100k and whatnot do yourself a favor and live.
>>28690371
>I will never know how good teenage love is
I'm 33, Anon, eventually I found my way, and I haven't seen teenage love either.
And it's okay.
When I was like 20, a girl screwed me over, I haven't been in love since. But I'm relatively happy, I have a decent job and I'm not emotionally dependent on anyone.
>>28690261
My nephew died a few days before he was to be born. Seeing my brother in law carrying that tiny white coffin by himself, my sister had to give birth to him after he'd died, it was heartbreaking.
Every new years eve for the last five years I have looked back and thought to myself that i have made it through the absolute worst year of my life and that the new year can't possibly be any worse. Life only ever gets sadder.
>>28692235
ding ding we have a winner
>>28690261
i tried to kill myself after i lost my job, car, got evicted from my apartment, and got kicked out of school. now i live at home with my fucking cunt of a mother and i really wish i had died then. too pussy to go through with it though because i dont have access to a gun and i dont want to survive and be thrown in a mental hospital
There is minor variance but each year gets worse than the last.
>>28693277
oh man, that sounds rough, something similar happened to me
>parents got me an iphone6S
>didn't get me a micro sim card so I can't use it yet
>ask them to drive me to the shop
>told me to order one online
>have a pool party to go to tonight
considering suicide
>>28696713
Ditto, Tho I always have worse dread about the upcoming year and wonder if this is the year I will eat a bullet.
I have had all the I enjoy taken away from me due to the back injury i posted above.
It sucks having hot girls flirt with you and you can not do fuck all because you have the spinal cord of a 40 year old man, it sucks when you live with ur parents in your mid to later 20s and you make no money and you have no real way to move forward.
I think I am gonna do it for real this weekend.
Enough
You faggots on here bitching about superficial shit sound like women, its fucking pathetic and disrespectful to people with real problems.
>>28696332
>Doctor tells me I have a herniated disc in the bottom of my spine and it either drugs or surgery
I know that feel anon. L5 S1 herniated disk at age 20. So painful could not walk more then 100m at a time and was bed ridden for about a year.
I was even refused surgery due to my age by 5 different neurosurgeons.
>can't find my backpack again
>a bunch of people laughing around the bathroom stalls
>walk over and see what's going on
>my backpack is sitting in the piss toilet and all my shit inside is wet
>poor as shit, there goes all my supplies and I've lost things several times before to people so school won't help
>nobody notices I'm standing there
>had been dealing with shit like that for as long as I can remember
>schools don't adequately provide for anything to prevent it and parents never taught me shit with how to deal with it
>it's just another prank to all of them and they can just continue leading normal lives
>normally I would start crying
>feel complete apathy instead
>accept on the spot that I'm just a fuck up or fluke and stop caring about my own future
>refuse to go to school again
>informally drop out and live as neet from then on
I haven't had any family deaths, not even extended family. I've never been physically assaulted, just ostracized. I've never had an injury or any serious illness, not even a cavity. I have several siblings who grew up like me and turned out fine. Nothing to justify myself, just a literal loser at life.
>>28691739
ouch.....
oregon
>>28697019
how you holding up now?
Im 6 years in at 28 years old and Its only gotten worse, getting 3-4 cortisone shots a year has really given me the illusion of less pain and working like a madman during that time in photography has made me realize that i made it much worse.
I have lost all friends, lost 45 pounds, lost all social skills, developed mental illness in 2 diff ways and havent even kissed a girl in those 6 years.
I bought a ruger to eat some lead so this will end, but i keep hanging on for some reason.,
>>28695532
How did you even get here? And just about any board looks down upon teenagers. The younger you are, the worse it gets.
>>28697177
For more less accepted that my back is screwed for life. I am used to the constant pain and when people ask if I am in pain I just say no because my "no pain" is just "less pain" then normal if that makes sense.
Medication fucked me up to much that I could not even go about my day so I don't take pain medication.
I would recommend the steroid shots into spine though. I had it done and I was pain free for about 3 months. I was refused another dose because it is supposed to last 1+ years.. but it effects everyone differently.
I have lost all my friends too, gained 30 kg and become depressed.
I am at least at university and not forced to work.
>>28697033
That's cruel :(
You shouldn't have given up on yourself family
But I guess now it's too late
That period after community college when i realised that in hs and college i had friends but not good enough friemds to hang out woth after we finoshed. They forgot all about me.
>>28693277
"18 year old with no drivers license and a new muscle car thinks he has it bad"
Seriously, get the fuck out of here.
>>28690261
>Be the sort of kid that sat alone in lunch throughout high school
>Hope that things magically fix themselves in college
>They don't. Can't find a single friend.
>Drop out at 19. Considering suicide.
>Do fuckall for a few years. Bot lief.
>Go on a /soc/ rate me thread. Average score - 4/10, lowest on the board.
>Get called an ugly fatty by them, totally foreign concept. Mind blown. No one had ever had the stones to say I'm overweight to me before, and I never considered it.
>And that was the lowest moment, being a 4/10.
Anyways I went to /fit/, lost weight, got some gains. /fit/ fixed years of 4chan damage. People treat you infinitely better when you get fit. My only regret is having not found it sooner.
When my ex dumped me on the phone and laughed at how she cheated on me with her friends.
Karma took take care of it though, she got addicted to drugs and is now on the verge of suicide
>>28696562
A fetus isn't even a baby, bruh.
Man up, it was just a late abortion.
>>28690564
Are you jewish. Went to a fucking orthodox school.
>tfw good friend told you he wants to go to a secular school
>tell him I'm afraid and won't follow him
>he still went as the alpha he is
>lost touch with him
Still I was bullied somewhat. I cannot fanthom what I would've been there, even more bullied or learn from him and become an alpha.
When I walked in on my fiance lying in our bed with one of her wrists slit open.
When the ambulance came and took her to the psych ward I laid on the sidewalk and just wept.
WHEN i WAS 7Y/O AND HAD MY DICK INSIDE MY 8 Y/O SISTER PUSSY...BEST PUSSY OF MY LIFE AT 7.
>>28690261
When a girl told me "I don't feel about you the way you do about me". And then I went on a 6 month amphetamine binge/addiction.
Then I decided to kill myself, but my best friend told my parents. Although it was such an undignifying experience, but I somehow got better.
