/r9k/, my trap bf just broke up with me.
It was my first relationship ever, and how do you put up with this feeling of just wanting to kill yourself but not having enough energy to move to even do that?
I don't know what to do. I'm so sad, it's unbearable.
if this isn't actually some shitty bait
if it's really done, and it probably is, you just cut off all contact. don't try to be friends, don't put the hope of reconciliation in your mind, do whatever you can to completely cut them out of your life
delete or hide pictures, gifts, and any other memorabilia. don't agonize by going through all of that, it has the sole purpose of making you feel like shit
eventually, you'll stop feeling terrible, and it will only hurt when you stop for a moment to think about it. if you have friends, go hang out with them, outside of your apartment.
it's just killing time from here, man. that's it.
>>28512428
That's what my friends told me, but I don't think I will ever find someone like him again or who is even close to him. I fucked things up, and I guess I deserve it, but the worst part is knowing I will never again come across a person like that again. Fuck Anon, that's the worst part, I can't handle it. We had the same hobbies, interests, quirkiness, did all the shenanigans together, fetishes were on point. And now I don't have anything except myself, a few friends, and a gun.
>>28512428
I also gotta say I lost my first kiss, first relationship, and my virginity to this person as well. I wanted to stay with him for life. Now I feel like having those things with another person won't be as special. Basically the male version of used goods.
>>28512517
everyone feels like that right after they lose someone they've been with for a long time. my last relationship died after 6 years and was 6 months away from proposing, it wasn't like i didn't feel identical. it's shitty, but at least it's not a unique situation or feeling
you might be right, you might never find someone like that again. life might be entirely downhill from here. but it probably won't, and if you took a step back, you'd admit that there's no way you're capable of thinking clearly about anything right now. it's why you should be around other people if you have other people you trust to be around.
your life will either get better or worse, but it's all irrelevant in the moment you're in right now because every wound feels fresh. the only thing you can do is wait out the time until you're in a place you can actually think straight and plan out your life from there
it might be the end of the world, but it almost never is
>>28512601
You're right Anon. Right now I'm still in disbelief it's actually happening. I'm hoping that for some reason I'll wake up and all his things will still be here with nothing changed.
It hurts even more because he has lied to me multiple times about things and I still took him back every time. Yet this time when I'm angry, he breaks up with me. It feels like I'm strange or awkward for caring that much and being that nice to him.
>>28512517
How did you fuck things up then? Story plox.
>>28512796
Basically we started arguing. And I kept telling him I don't give a shit (about the arguing.) So it goes back and forth for a few weeks. And then just about an hour ago he packs up and before I know it he's gone. He took it as I didn't care about him, which isn't even close to true. Before this we argued a bit, but always resolved it. He even lied to me about his age, his background, and him lying to.me about the people he was talking to online. I forgave him every single time. The time he lied about the online friends, he didn't wanna date me because he felt so bad for hurting me. I went to his house crying and begged him to stay.
>>28512848
So in other words you didn't fuck things up, he was being the asshole here.
>>28512917
But I did, I told him I didn't care and then I also started insulting stuff about him, like his character and integrity and stuff. I normally never do that, but I was just so mad and I did, and now I lost everything. Can't stop throwing up either. Just was about to start a new job in 4 days. Life was looking so good, but now, not so much. I'm 22, I was a robot, and then I wasn't, and now I'm back again and this feels wayyyy worse than being a robot could be.
>tfw no bf to make drama on /r9k/ about you
>>28513736
Are you worth making drama about? I can't stand this lonely feeling, I'll talk to anyone right now.
>>28512741
maybe hes just not as good a person as you then and youre better off without him if he didnt feel the same way and your just bending over backwards to keep him around despite your own feeelings
>>28513812
Tell us about how he's going to cuddle and love a woman now, having gotten over his homosexual urges and seeing the true light of God.
>>28512327
>how do you put up with this feeling of just wanting to kill yourself but not having enough energy to move to even do that?
You realize this is most of us on this board and we've never had a relationship ?
>>28514340
I don't think that's entirely the case. I think I can just put up with more if I love someone. I definitely did wrong him with the insults and saying that I didn't care. I just don't think that's on par with being lied to.
>>28514407
I had the same feeling before when I was a robot and single, just that now everything is multiplied by 10. So the urge to kill myself is 10 times greater. Not moving is the same.
I just want my qt trap bf back. I've been single and lonely long enough, I can't handle going back to this.
>>28514496
so he doesnt have as much tollerance as you sated? seems like he might be settling before anyway why he probably didnt care to leave doesnt sound like he loved you that much or he would have tried to wrok it out first as well
>>28514496
that's also because you've had a taste now, you're body will probably numb you backto robot level soon enough like all of us whove been numbed to ease the pian of living (edgy edgy) i see it like survival, after a while the body will still need food but telling you that through pain wont help after a certain amount of time. also
>dating trap bf
>normie
hmmmmmm
Why don't you let me curl up on your lap and make you feel better?
Traps are unstable human beings and you should have seen this coming. It's your own stupid fault for thinking a train wreck like that was worth a long term commitment.
>>28514676
Might be the case. I was willing to work through everything and anything with him. Now I got nothing because of my mistake. I can't even just brush it off because he was my ideal.
>>28514715
Probably. I guess I'm just meant to be a robot for my life. And naww, traps aren't normies. Besides it was a fluke I ended up with him anyways. Just got really lucky looking on Craigslist and I never would have even cared to date a trap.
>tfw no trap bf
Its all want bruh.
>>28514761
I wish you could, I really do. It feels so wrong not having someone warm to cuddle with.
>>28514762
He had a pretty level head and yes, I wanted it to be forever. I didn't have any plans ever to have to find someone else. Guess it's my life in a nutshell though. Instead of constant failure I get little blips of success and then shit comes crashing down right after.
>>28514870
It's the best when you're in the relationship. I was so happy and content with life like never before. I thought that eyyy, the world isn't a bad place, it's pretty amazing. Everything was just so good, and now that I know you can feel like that, I don't think I can be 100% robot again.
>>28514793
both of those were me btw i just wanted to add more after posting one.
robots are the real romantics, at least you got some sweet boipucci right? that must have felt good. not sure if youre agreeing with me here but the normie thing. i only said that because you mentioned before you were a normie now you arent
>>28512327
first of all why did do anything with a trap other than pump and dump most of them exhibit the worst female traits with none of the positives.
>>28514947
Oh, my bad, I meant I was a robot before this whole thing. Lossless, handholdless virgin. Yes, the sex was good, he even had most of my fetishes or was willing to indulge which is another thing I'll never find in another trap. It wasn't all about that though, I miss just being with him, not the sex. I can get that off of Craigslist or some shit if I wanted. I rejected people before because I was waiting for the right person, I found him, and now he's gone and I'm the male equivalent of used. I wanted to stay with whoever I thought was perfect for me, do it once, fall in love, and keep it that way.
>>28514992
Because of his personality, I really truly believed that he wanted ti stay with me forever like I wanted to be with him. Clearly that wasn't the case. I thought this was finally the one I waited 21 years for. Who I was meant to be with. I can't do the whole casual sex thing, sure I've had opportunities, but I just want a relationship with someone I love.
>>28515018
be my bf instead you sound like a sweetie or do you only like traps?
>tfw just want to love someone with the same love they love me
>dont know if i can anymore because body has supressed any feelings to noithing so i wont be let down
>or i j-just havent met them yet r-right?
>>28515060
I understand you went through the honeymoon phase and everything you got slapped back into reality but with a trap have you no shame?
>>28514918
I bet. I've always been into traps, but it was finding the ones I would actually date that ruined me. Always been attracted to girls but never wanted to be in a relationship with one so I was able to avoid tfw no gf, turned out I wanted someone with the cuteness of a girl but the mind and behavior of a guy, and once I found one, I learned I wasn't good enough for them either.
And they are so rare, that's the worse part. I never fall hard for specific girls because you can find 50 copies of any one of them at wal-mart on any given day, but when I find a trap I like I feel a sense of urgency, rationalizing it away with plenty of fish in the sea just doesn't work, I'm desperate!
>>28515075
I'm sorry, I've been spoiled. I would only date another trap. Not really attracted to masculine guys. Though I definitely overlooked some masculine features to be with him and even got used to his "boy mode." Which only took a few minutes because i cared more about him than his looks, but that's because he was a decently qt trap to begin with. I don't wanna say I'm okay with anything but traps (maybe women, probably not), and end up hurting someone who loves me again.
>>28515094
Yes, with a trap. I loved him, simple as that. Nothing really mattered to me past that point. I'm pretty/pol/, but even then it was fine. I was going to introduce him to my family too without caring. It just didn't matter to me. Just being with him is what I wanted.
>>28515161
>tfw skelly mode not masc either
i fell like if just gained some more weight i'd be total qtpi. face and hair is fine just a little to bony
>>28515161
anon im really sorry that happened to you. Im a trap too and im sorry we are so crazy.also i'd be ok if you were angry and yelled at me and said hurtful things to me.
>>28515232
I'm sorry Anon, I'm sure somebody out there would love to date a qt skele Anon. I just got spoiled like I said. I can't do anything else, at least not for the time being.
>>28515303
It's fine, he wasn't really crazy I don't think. I called him thatin an argument though just as a general insult. I was so upset, I regret it entirely. I gave him a formal apology before we said goodbye, I should have done it sooner. So in essence, yes, it is my fault. And you should be rightfully mad at me if I insulted you. I don't really feel comfortable insulting the person I love anyways. Except my emotions shut down and I started saying insults because of all the stress. Unexcusable. I would have stayed and try to work things out, but that's me, people are different. I could get calling you names of you were into that in bed, that's be no problem.
>>28515403
whatever you f-faggot i was only joking anyway ;-; FAGGOT
>>28515473
Look, I'm sorry man, I really am. I have stupid criteria now for a relationship.
tfw trap bf broke up w me a couple days ago too
i feel your pain op :(
>>28515403
yeah i like to be roasted in bed
>>28515623
What happened man? See, I feel like this hurts worse than breaking up with a woman because I just can't have that level of feeling with a female.
>>28515161
as much as I want to string you and your degenerate lover up in a tree I can't help but feel for you mate have you talked to him after this?
>>28515668
That's cool. Though my issue is even in attempting to find a new partner that I am a switch. Sure, I like to give it, but I also like being submissive too. Having a power bottom go at me, or even bottoming (which I never got that far). It's too hard to find someone who's a trap/trans who likes power bottoming, topping, and bottoming. I'm all over the place.
>>28515682
Will you string me up anon?
>>28515769
to a bedpost while I rawdog your tight little boycave I will have you whince in pleasure while I breathe down your neck squeezing your small waist wrapped around my arms
>>28515682
At least the degeneracy was contained. Wasn't forced on nobody and I just lived my life as normal, except having someone I love be there with me. That's all that changed. I just texted him that I loved him regardless if what he thinks and apologized. Said goodbye, and deleted his number. He texted me saying how he's heartbroken as well and that it just basically had to be done. He can't take me being angry anymore. It was only 3 separate times over the course of 3 weeks. Before then I put up with his lying to me for 7+ months. Even though him lying to me made me sick to the stomach and puke, I still worked it out with him.
>>28515675
to keep it short and simple his heart wasn't in the right place and left me for someone that can provide and support them : ) but i personally don't blame them at all
were still close friends i guess but holy shit it hurts we were together for a year and a half
>>28515866
are you a poor chad?
>>28515848
would you bully me for being a degenerate while you did it?
>>28515866
I don't know how you could stay close friends after being so connected like that. That really sucks though man.
>>28515898
not at all
>originanoli
>>28515957
yeah i really don't know why either. we are reeally close. as much as i don't like people its comfy to have someone there
>hide all sweden threads
>ignore all swede posters
>>28516020
No.anon, this has nothing to do with BBC or bulls.
>>28515987
Having someone here would be nice, you're right, but I don't think I could ever be friends with him. Too much regret and want.
I just want a qt trap to love me and have it stay that way from now until I die. That's all. My life was getting back on track after meeting him, but now I don't have any motivation to do anything.
Does anyone know where you find a trap gf/bf?
>>28516521
I got mine through an hispanic /mlp/ Skype. I guess go into a fandom and search from there
>>28516667
That seems like it would only work within the smalll group such as the one yohCRe talk g
So was your bf actually a trap? Like I would mistaken him for a girl at first sight.
>>28517207
When dressed up, yes, probably aside from the jawline. He was gonna transition but he decided against it and just wanted to stay a trap.
>>28517148
The first milestone is to be part of said small group, and get really fucking lucky from there. You could try with a lot of chats at the same time. Altough you'll need some new hobbies.
>>28517290
Sounds nice. I'm kinda jealous. I don't see many passable traps, or even trans. Actually I haven't seen any at all in person. Just over the internet.
>>28517382
Where do I go to find chats an what not? Someplace where you won't b labelled a chaser and kicked out. I think it's best for me to move on with someone else too.
>>28517409
I'm jealous of me too. The me of about 8 hours ago. It was a shit shoot like I said, found him on Craigslist of all places.
>>28517976
First of all, is english you only language? This is importante becuse any non-english chat is bound to be smaller.
The downside of this things is that you'd need to be a bit normalfag or exceed at the chat's purpose.
I was an oldfag and the first tulpafag of the place whenIetm my current bf like 3 years ago.
To give you a little push, I'll show you a nice, small, and niche game commumity to begin with. The game is pretty good.
https://marbleblast.com
Download "marble blast platinum" go to the online and register. The game have a biult in chat, you can talk while you play. Just go in and ask about the game itself.
The admins are a little nazis when people talk about non-game topics, but at night they sleep.
>>28518834
Yes, English is my only language. Do traps play this marble blast game or something? I don't see how playing that game will get me closer to finding another qt.
>>28518957
Its a small fandom and may be a good start. Honestly traps are really hard to find. You could try to find someone with a nice body and make him gay.
