Who's a /criminal/ here? Post anything you've done that could've landed you in jail.
>be 16
>summertime
>invited to my grandpas to spend the week
>cousin goes too
>cousin goes up there a lot so he knows the area well
>says he found an abandoned golf course
>we bike over there and climb onto the roof and stuff
>i ask if there is a way inside
>he never checked
>we try all the doors in
>the last one we get to i push on as hard as i can
>glass on the door shatters
iguessthatworks.png
>we enter and screw around
>literally touch almost everything
>fingerprints are everywhere
>we go there everyday now
>few days later
>door is fixed
>lights are on inside
>a car in the lot
>i hightail it out, knowing that i could get in trouble
>cousin decides to go in still
areyouanidiot.gif
>mfw person in the building never sees my cousin in there as well
>mfw person in the building never calls the cops on it
>mfw the worst ive done is breaking and entering
Any good stories /r9k/?
You barely committed a crime faggot
>>28455645
That's why I want stories, you fucking normalfag
>>28455515
a real criminal wont post stories about crimes he got away with. because then he could get in trouble for telling on himself. but i have been in jail before. but what do you want me to tell you about it.
>eleventh grade
>cringy socially awkward fuck with no friends
>chads in English class convince me that another girl has a crush on me
>believe them because I'm a stupid fucking idiot
>arrange a date at the movies for 7pm that weekend
>get there
>she's not there
>figure she's just running late, the public transit in our city is always shitty
>an hour goes by, still not there
>since I was a poorfag I didn't have a phone so I couldn't contact her, all the money I had saved from allowance was for this date
>it's 9pm and she's still not here
>because I'm fucking stupid I stay there until 10pm before realizing what happened
>feel like shit, go to the concession stand and buy a chocolate milk, sit at a small table alone until 11pm
>next day Sunday, check Facebook to maybe ask wtf happened
>there are pictures
>tons of them
>of me just standing alone at the ticket booths, alone at a table drinking my milk
>I was set up to be made fun of
>next day, Monday
>everyone is talking shit around me in English class
>one of the chads that set me up walks over
>"how was your date bro?"
I fucking stabbed him with a pair of scissors. Five times before someone pulled me off him. Cried like a bitch the whole day thinking my life was over. Ironically prison taught me how to man up and not be such a weak bitch that everyone can take advantage of.
>be me edgy teen hax0r
>in my ddos phase
>during highschool final exams half the student body was taking the online exams
>rush through mine enough to get at least a pass
>run and hide in metal shop class
>open laptop and load up friends botnet
>friend was legit hax0r made it on his own and gave me access to it
>decimate school wifi and cause major problems for the school and school district
>test has to be canceled all over and new one has to be re written
>everyone has to come back 2 weeks later for re testing
decided not to do it again because I had to retake the test
>>28455779
Holy shit man I'm sorry about that fucking normies are cruel.
>>28455515
>drink a beer on the street
>spend the rest of the night on jail
I love my country,
probably met one of you faggots this weekend.
If one of you tried to mug a guy this weekend in Nashville and he said
>I'm not doing it
>just shoot
while crying
Fuck you, i was ready. i still am if you see me again just shoot then rob me
>>28455779
holy shit anon. that must've felt like shit. for both you and him lol
>be me
>order counterfeits off deepweb
>pass them
>order acid off deepweb sometimes
whoa guys I'm a real serious criminal famalamadingdong
She told me she was 18 before she sent the nudes.
She told me she was really 15 after she sent the nudes.
Her friend told me that her dad was a cop and i was screwed. I was able to explain my way out of it though.
I did weed once
>>28455779
I got such a vengeance boner from that. God bless you anon
>>28455779
Holy shit you have my respect
>>28455708
>but what do you want me to tell you about it
Is your asshole larger than before?
>>28455779
Fucking normies man, fucking normies. How long were you in prison?
>>28455779
How bad were the wounds?
What was it like?
>>28455779
Thank you for stabbing that monkey fucker, on behalf of us robots everywhere. My dick got hard when you said that part
>>28455779
Well done. That's one of those mistakes that end up reshaping you for the better. I'm glad you stabbed that kid.
I once spray painted some buildings near where I live, they got covered. I stole a pair of earrings the other week. I snuck into the theater once. I was high. Oh, and yesterday I ate an edible and went into the store, it hadn't kicked in yet but I think my eyes were bloodshot
>>28456395
I still don't remember the details. I was just angry and started swinging at him from behind with my scissors. I didn't even know I landed five on him until I went to court and had the whole thing explained to me.
The worst part is knowing that those faggots will always look back on it and think "Anon was a fucking lunatic" instead of "Let's not be shitty to people for once."
I almost stabbed some kid when I was 15 or so. I even stole a knife to do it. I'd catch him alone, kill him, and get out. No one would know it was me.
But he never got me far enough to actually do it.
>be 17
>lunch break
>smoking cigs outside the synagogue across from high school
>throw burning cigs into mail box
>burn jews mail
>jews phone school with video of us doing it
>jews say if we write them a letter of apologie they wont call cops
>write half ass apologie note
After that
>long time lurker of /pol/
I wish that when I was a kid I had truly grasped just how much shit kids can get away with. You can do literally anything and people will be like, oh those darn kids and just let you go. Either that or the cops arrest you and then just let you go because you're a kid.
>>28456518
>Anon was a fucking lunatic
Yeah because thats not a normal reaction to people pranking you
>>28456638
>jews give you a break even try to get you to do something productive
>become long time /pol/ lurker
>>28455779
>>28456518
What sentence did the judge hand down? I mean, did he take time off since you were a victim of a cruel prank?
>>28456686
Fuck off tripfag
Spent my childhood in psych wards and juvy. Spent 3 years in prison from age 18-21.
>Diagnosed with conduct disorder as a kid
>Never connected with anyone and had very few emotions
>Always angry and hurting others
>My first stint at a psych ward was when I stabbed my step father with a steak knife at a restaraunt over an argument we had in the car
>Spent a month in k wing in the local psych ward
>Always followed by a worker there, even when I was sleeping. They would sit in a chair in my room
>Got sent back to the psych ward a few months later for dropping our 2 pet cats in a bucket full of gas and lighting it
>This time I was sent a few hours away to a psych ward that was more like a prison
>Get out after 3 weeks and get sent to a different one closer to home
>I used to break into my neighbors houses and steal alcohol when they were at work. Perk of being home schooled
>They never locked their windows (lived out in the country) so I would climb through and take any money and alcohol
>One of them had a trailcam that caught me and I got sent to Juvy for 3 months, but I got to come home on weekends.
>When I got out I snuck out at night and went to his farm and killed all of his chickens and his 3 pigs
>Sent back to a Dh that was pretty much juvenile prison for 5 months
>I straightened up after that for a while
>Age 17 I beat a 20 year old almost to death then smashed his teeth in with a rock
>Put in prison for a 9 year sentence (got out in 40 months.)
So that's some of the shit I've done in my past.
>>28456813
Two and a half years in a correctional facility. I have no idea if that's nice or not or whether me being just over a minor had an effect on it.
I doubt my side of the story had any impact considering everyone was more concerned about Chad and Stacy's crocodile tear testimony. "I really, thought I would lose my friend, and, and, that day is something I'll never get over your honor." Fucking please.
Also something I found interesting, there were guys my age serving longer sentences in corrections than I was for selling weed.
>>28455515
>summer 2015 age 21
>parked in a dark parking lot at 12:30am with a hot guy from the marines I met on tinder
>making out but basically like sex with clothes on
>suddenly off in the distance I see red and blue flashing lights
>I hear a police siren go WHOOP WHOOP! WHOOP WHOOP!
>cop car pulls into the parking lot towards us
>see my clean criminal record flash before my eyes
>i'm freaking out the most because I was completely topless and can't find my clothes
>digging around the car desperately looking for it
>404 shirt not found
>cop car pulls up next to us and I find it just in time
>I uncover myself to put the shirt on and at that exact second coincidentally the cop shined his sideview mirror spotlight into our car
>it was a new police car so the lights were 4 small rows of piercing white LED lights
>"You're not supposed to be here" the cop says over the speaker
>We're both deer in the headlights
>"I SAID LEAVE!!!"
>put on my shirt inside out and speed the hell out of there
I could have been arrested for like public nudity technically, and it was in a baseball field parking lot too so much shame I felt.
>>28456686
Poke a bear and call it a prank.
>>28456759
Fucking jews always complain.
>my 6 baugliantrillonbilagin.
>be in seventh grade in large school
>be borderline
>be antisocial
>be in all normal classes for the first time this year
>begirlobviously amirite
>wear Easter dresses everyday
>I am very fond of Easter dresses
>I am unsure if I experience love the way normal people do, but I believe I love nice dresses
>be frequent target of girlbullying
>girls are shitty bullies
>rarely take it to a physical level
>almost exclusively "Kill yourself, no one likes you, you're worthless, you dress like a freak"
>completely ineffective as my personality disorder, or indeed, lack of personality prevents me from feeling badly because of other people talking
>Tuesday, last week of seventh grade
>balcony over hangs two large stair cases
>chairs sit with their backs against the railing around the balcony
>indoor break after lunch
>allowed roam around the reading as a treat because the end of the year is so close
>sitting in balcony chair
>the usual group of girls approach
>the usual jabber
>suddenly juice
>in my lap
>on my nice dress
>the girls are laughing
>many people are laughing
>my dress
>I suddenly feel a feeling
>launch myself at the cunt who did this to me
>Be 10th grade
>Nerdy chinese friend asks me if I want free games
>Hell yes
>Go to mall
>Steal backpack
>Go to best buy
>Load stolen backpack with video games, psp, and Xbox live membership
>leave store with at least $2000 of merchandise between us
>alarm goes off
>Employee comes out and yells at us
>Bus home
>>28457423
cont
>we both hit the floor
>hear head make an hard sound when it hits
>start punching
>girl tries to push me away
>might be too stunned for fighting as she fails
>keep punching
>never been in a fight before
>I feel
>girl's face looks like raw hamburger
>my tiny diamond rings had cut her
>I feel so much
>realize adults will be here any moment
>get off her
>drag her to the balcony
>start to heave her up
>she realizes what's happening and starts fighting back again
>too late
>after a bit of a struggle, dump her over the balcony
>a sound like breaking sticks in mud
>teacher and vice principal grab me
>whisked away
>parents bullshit away that I don't know what I'm doing because my brain is borked
>lawyer does the same later in court
>don't spend a minute in juvenile hall
>spend a year in a psychiatric hospital
>wouldn't have even gotten that buta rib had punctured her lung and she drowned in her own blood later that night.
All that taught me was not to get caught again.
>>28456073
How about the mods ban this faggot ?
>>28455515
I stole
200 worth of pens
>>28457423
>>28457450
>extremely badass girl kills bully for throwing juice
What anime is this from
>>28455515
>be me
>14
>trying to be edgy
>decide to go smoke some random shit
>walk down the ridge
>find some guy's house with pine trees
>roll some dried pine needles from the ground
>add small chunks of pinecone for good measure
>no idea wtf im doing just want to look edgy
>light it
>end catches on straight fucking fire
>quickly burns
>drop it to not get hands rekt
>ignites all the other stuff on the ground
>ignites the trees
>bolt the fuck out of there
>house ignites
>next day
>hear parents talking about the fire
>old couple and their dog died
>tfw I committed arson and manslaughter trying to be edgy
>succeeded in edginess at least
>>28457450
violent bpd homegirl
>>28456911
Now that's some very serious issues , this kinda reads like the young hitler was , hopefully you won't become a serial killer or anything
>>28455515
One time I took a cookie from the cookie jar and yum yummed it down
>>28456948
I HATE FUCKING NORMIES, I HATE THEM SO MUCH
>>28455779
God I fucking hate normies so much
> torture so kid until he snaps
> we dindu nuffin he was prolly a pyscho XD
>>28457423
>>28457450
Can I date you?oregano
>>28457450
This was actually a pretty satisfying story, I'd like to know you if I weren't scared of you killing me.
>>28457442
I did something like this, stole about $500 worth of games from a Gamestop outside the neighborhood. Didn't get caught because i put tin foil in the back pack which blocked the sensors.
>>28456948
The right thing to do was to kidnap stacy afterwards and fucking rape her till death in your basement
>>28455779
The fact that you stabbed him is admirable. A man has to try to take revenge on people who wronged him.
>>28457442
YOU WAN PRAY GAME?
i stole magic cards, like i would take them to an isle in wal mart where the cameras couldnt see u open them and stick them in my pocket then buy something cheap like a soda and walk out
>>28457918
If this is real I fucking kek'd hard.
>>28457918
Shit dude.
That sounds horrible, but at the same time it's completely forgivable since none of it was truly intentional.
>>28458282
6 years have gone by since then and I still cringe
>>28456911
Lol how's your life now? Loser hahaha.
So retarded he spazes out and can't even work out that his retard behaviour will have undesirable consequences like being locked in a box and only being able to get the shittiest wage skave jobs when he gets out.
Lol how does that feel my man? Haha!
>>28457450
Fuckin cool story m8 if only it were real.
>>28455515
I used to rob pirates when I was back in Somalia.
Incest is illegal over there so there's another crime.
I helped participate in an ethnic cleansing and an armed protest.
I own a company that deals weapons in the Middle East.
>>28457450
>>28457423
Ugh so try-hard
>I am le unfeeling emotionless psycho girl except when I feel feels
>psshh now I know not to get caught, kid
>>28458337
Pretty good actually. Haven't had any run ins with the law for the past few years. I'm a boiler maker and make $34 an hour, bought a condo a few months ago. I can't say my mental health has changed but I have learned not to act on my impulses.
>>28455515
I hang out in a trap house and have seen pounds of weed and sheets of acid as well as other things moved in front of me.
I also participate in consumption of said substances.
>>28458413
Some boderlines/sociopaths feel good when they hurt people
Maybe she never tried it before
I haven't ever been convicted of anything but here would be my charges if I had
> animal abuse
> trespassing
> breaking and entering ( the door was unlocked and they were in the process of moving)
> petty larceny
> vandalism probably
>be me
>be graduating high school
>see one of the school security guards there
>this guy has been busting my balls and giving me shit for 2 years
>he only favors the chads and stacys
>never the antisocial or awkward kids such as me
>he's about 60, possibly an ex-cop, big and possibly of Irish decent
>stare at him the entire time during graduation
>graduation ends, run out of there as soon as possible to parking lot
>guard sees me leave
>i walk towards my car, he's like 50 feet behind me or some shit
>stand by my car and light cigarette
>school security guard sees me doing this
>"you know you're not supposed to smoke on school property, anon"
>"I graduated, I don't go here anymore, I can smoke wherever I want"
>guard says "don't make me put that out for you"
>ragebuildining.gif
>"I'll save you the trouble"
>stick cigarette in his eye, keep it there for a few seconds
>get knocked out of the way by him
>the punches start flying
>he's now blinded in one eye and trying to hit me
>I go to town on his face, blood everywhere
>some of the teachers see what's going on
>they can't do anything but watch
>here someone say the cops have been called
>get in my car and drive out of parking lot, all tired and bloody
>look behind me and see security guard wailing in pain, now blinded in one eye
had I been in that parking lot any longer I would have been arrested
>>28458590
*hear
my bad
>>28455779
originalo comment
>>28458590
Really? How long ago was this? The school knows who you are and your address, why didn't they just send a cop to your house?
>>28456911
have you been diagnosed with Anti Social Personailty Disorder?
>>28458675
i was being recruited for the coast guard that same day. If i went to jail, I would be considered government property and i'd be let out anyway
Lets sum up the entire thread
Story posters: see picture also Im a girl
Responses: wow can i date u thanks for killing those normies
>>28455515
I grew mushrooms and sold some concentrated poppy seed liquid with a friend
it was actually a nice arrangement that we had and we made almost 1000 dollars
>>28456666
quads of truth
I would've literally murdered somebody in middle school if I knew I'd be free when I turned 18
i used to be a heroin addict and had to travel out of state to get cheaper/better stuff. the worst thing i ever did was travel across state lines with 20 bundles of dope (200 bags). that's intent to distribute and trafficking if i got caught. luckily never did
i have been arrested/had to go to court for something completely unrelated though and was on unsupervised probation for 2 years. i was an addict that whole time, if i got caught i'd be in violation and would probably have to do a year in jail or maybe they'd let me go to rehab or something, idk. luckily i never got caught.
i've done a lot of really stupid shit, mostly related to heroin. clean now though...
>>28458735
>one post made me mad
>look at me being mad
>>28458834
i wish u were using a trip so your retartedness would be objectively proven
>>28458698
No, but I also haven't been to anyone that can diagnose me. After I got out of prison I expunged my juvenile records and got a job as a boilermaker.
>>28457140
exactly, a bear is dangerous, like a lunatic
poking a normal non-dangerous animal is safe and fine
>>28458908
>anyone who doesn't get as mad as me is objectively bad, though I don't have a particular argument as to why
>>28458936
Do you feel empathy for human beings?
>>28459029
I'd say I have a switch. My empathy is usually set to off but I can turn it on when it will benefit me. If that makes sense.
>>28459067
Doesn't everyone do that? That's at least what I do.
>>28457423
>>28457450
BABY MY QUEEN
>>28459067
I'm sort of in that boat. I don't have natural empathy, but I've pretty much figured out the logical process of how it works.so I can at least emulate it.
It isn't quite 100% perfect and it takes a lot out of me mentally to do it all day, but I'd say I'm much better off than most sociopaths.
>>28459243
I thought about that too. That's why I think it's fake
>>28459128
I feel that most people can't turn it off. Show a video to someone of a person being tortured and then slowly beheaded they will call you sick and some will even puke or pass out. Say you don't care about 9/11 and a shitstorm will hit you of people telling you to think of all the people that died and think of their families ect. I don't think I would want to live if I had to have genuine empathy for others.
>>28459264
>tfw baby's fat boyfriend returns
>tfw it's been years so he doesn't remember his tripcode
>tfw we'll never believe it's him;-;
>>28459299
I would call those people pussies. Simply down to the fact that if they can't take something like that then they're fucking pathetic.
>>28456911
>some fat autist sat there and made this all up
saddening desu
>>28459470
>calls someone a fat autist
>Says desu
I think we all know who the real autist is here, friendo
>>28458590
This is probably the most unlikely story in the whole thread.
>>28456686
>get lied to and humiliated for everyone to see
>JUST A PRANK BRO
fuck you, scumbag
>>28458675
Because it never happened
>>28459718
You are clearly trolling desu
>>28455515
Kek, does the golf course name start with an a?
I used to drink and drive or drive while high, or a combo of those, often.
I tagged, using spray paint, the primary school I went to when I was back in highschool.
>>28455515
>shoplifting
>stealing money
>stealing drugs
>armed robbery
>assaults
typical scumbag here
>>28458724
Yeah, totally. Anybody in the military is exempt from any laws including trespassing and assault because "I'm gub'mint property".
You would've been arrested, your enlistment delayed until after your court date, your sentence was served, and any parole/probation was finished. IF they still would've taken a felon convicted of assault after all of that was done.
You're such a faggot for making up stories of putting cigarettes out in people's eyes and walking away from it Scott free. Somebody you see every day at school that can easily identify you and give the police your address just LET you cripple him for life, huh? He just thought, "oh wow, he's no longer a student here so he can break any laws he wants on school property. The law only applies to students on school property, silly me."
Tl;Dr why are you such a faggot, anon?
>>28455779
You did nothing wrong anon
NOTHING
>>28456948
Your story didn't do anything because "he hurt my feelings your honor, that's why I tried to murder him" isn't a valid legal defense
>>28460162
Yes, but it does 'prove' it's not premeditated and emotionally spurred. It's not really a defense to the underlying charge but it does reduce the sentencing, usually.
>>28458724
That's one of more retarded things I've read today.
>>28460323
It could work the other way though. Autist was mad thathat he was set up, so he planned to attack Chad the next day in class. Besides, you can form the premediation to kill within a second
I once "raped" (I guess) a drunken hobo. Not with my dick, with a stick.
That's it.
>>28456518
You should dox the fucker anon
For such a great piece of OC you deserve justice
I hit prison speeds everyday on the way home from school
the turbo calls my name. if I still had my sport bike I'm sure i'd be running from cops
>>28455779
You're a fucking legend, you did nothing wrong.
>>28455779
you are a god amongst men m80
When I was a kid I stole food
>>28459243
Thank you, I've been looking for this one, for fucking ever
Been a petty theif for the past 4-5 years
"Drug dealer" for a bit
Smoke every now and again
>>28455515
109 counts of Possession of Embezzled Military Weapons
Facing 500 years in Federal Detention
Sitting in the brig on y ass for a year
Bush about to turn the job over to the Negro
Federal Prosecutor offers a deal:
Please to 1 count Possession of Embezzled Goods
5 years probation, reduced to 3 years, 1 year credit
100,000 restitution, reduced to $1,000
6 months electronic monitoring, reduce to 3 months
General Discharge, no reduction in rank
Stay clean, including parking and speeding tickets for 10 years and record will be expunged
Military Legal Aid tells me if I refuse the deal she will personally shoot me in the head
Got 2.5 years to go, clean as a whistle, can almost picture my concealed carry permit
Glad to be White
Glad my Dad went to Yale
>>28456911
Should probably kill yourself honestly. It would be for the best
>>28455779
Yeah, I would've just straight up killed him.
That shit doesn't fly
>>28456686
Why do you come back?
You're the worst tripfag
I hate you
Raped my aunt for months.
Some cuck is raising my kid with her
Who else /murderer/ here?
>>28455515
crime_inals5life my nignog
>>28456989
I remember you posting this story last summer and everyone told you to fuck off
>>28458357
Can you please hire me?
Need money thx
>>28456989
fucking roastie
kill yourself normie scum
>>28456948
Did you make any prison bros who you still talk to? How much did it affect your job seeking and education?
>>28456948
>>28455779
Do you regret it? I hope not. I mean it probably wasnt worth it in the end but DAMN Vengeance boner.
pirated vidya/movies
once threw rocks at a car from above the carpark and I saw it got a bit dented before walking away
>>28455779
man stuff like
and people ask "how could anyone ever shoot up a school"
>tfw imagining you taking a gun to the school
>"hey chad how's your day bro?"
>"not so good is it?"
>>28463544
>tfw accidentally took a gun to school one day
was shooting the day before, left it in my bag and forgot about it
reached deep down to get an old paper in my 3rd period class, saw my 1911 in the bottom
was tactically shitting my pants the whole day, but never got caught
>>28456911
desu i think people like you and people who are worse should just be killed
>>28455779
>I fucking stabbed him with a pair of scissors. Five times
thats hilarious.
Very interesting anon. how long were you in prison? how has your life changed? old peers from highschool treat you differently or you even see them?
You say you learned how to toughen up from prison? Any situation you can think of where your prison learned skills helped you out?
>>28463583
yeah, nothing worse than some kid with conduct disorders
there was this guy in my high school who would just get mad for no reason and he'd punch lockers until his hands bled and he'd also punch you if you said anything he didn't like
we let them get away with too much
>>28455779
Damn, if it was me i would probably go:
>"how was your date bro?"
>"a-ahah... f-fuck you"
>stares at the floor
That is how much of a coward i was
>>28456686
>Just a prank bro
You're a fucking awful person
>>28463125
no but i thoguht about it.
Just shoplift here. got thousands of dollars worth of stuff. eventualy got caught and givin a warning. havent shoplifted since.
>>28455779
You're my new hero anon. I normally hate the "normies getting what they deserve" fedora mentality but God damn, your story brutal justice
>>28455863
America? Uno originality
>>28456911
You should have been euthanised
I stole a coffee cup from a casino last week
> posted ex's nudes online
> she reported to police
> arrested
> blagged my way out the interview
> got a caution for something different, apparently telling her to keep away from me is malicious communications? Lol UK law.
My ex was a huge bitch. She was toxic as f, now have malicious communications on my criminal record checks by employers.
>>28459243
>Why Boner
That was weirdly hot.
I stole expensive chocolates from the supermarket. I've stole a shitty GPU from a store which the guy gave my and old as fuck monitor, even drove it home for me. The latter hit me in the feels every time I think about stupid shit I've done. Never got caught, feel like doing it again.
I plan on exploding an ATM machine in the near future.
>>28456989
>12:30 am
now how does that work? it's either 12:30 pm or 00:30 am stacy...
>>28455779
Good job anon, he got what he deserved.
>>28458331
If this is real. you probably should never speak of it again EVER. You could go to prison.for life. What if someone reported you on here? FBI and NSA probably monitor this. you fucked up bro... run for it
>come from family of degernate drug addicts and felons
>be only one who's never committed a crime, taken drugs, Ect.
I may be a NEET wizard but at least I'm not hurting anyone or society around me.
Who /devilish/ here?
>bus pass on phone
>screen stays open after it expires
>drivers only glance at it
Free bus rides~
Drawing swastikas on walls I guess
>>28456518
Good on you, Anon. There is no shame in fighting for yourself. You did good. Hopefully he us seriously impaired now.
>>28455515
Broke into a house when I was 16 with some friends, got drunk and ended up causing 50k$ worth of damages. Only got 3 years probation for break and enter/ destruction of property. Dude who owned the house was out looking for justice for months, walked into him a couple times asking if I knew who fucked up his house.
>>28466203
I guess there's that too, in my case? I've done quite a bit of A R T on public spaces and so on. I've done drugs, uhhh... I'm just an average kid. I've trespassed a lot too. Just petty crime.
>>28457423
>>28457450
>be girl
>literally get away with murder
Cool
Only really petty stuff like taking a whole 20 sack to high school like an idiot (drug dog passed my class with the door wide open but didn't sense anything thank fuck) and driving drunk. Nothing sobers you up like passing a bunch of cops who already busted another dumbfuck like me. Plus other drugs and torrenting.
>inb4 kill yourself for driving drunk
Blame my parents for making it seem like a normal thing
>>28455515
>theft
>assualt
>"mugging"
>alleged rape
>dealing contraband
>dealing contraband to children
>bootlegging
Never been caught desu, feel pretty good. The stories are pretty boring imo, not much more to say, but ask if you like, I was a right cunt earlier in life.
I climbed over a fence once
>>28457450
Wow, thats edge
>>28465312
there's no point in writing "am" and "pm" if you're gonna use a 24 hour clock
>is willfully ignorant in an attempt to be a smartass
>fails
>>28458460
>trap house
>weed and acid
Stop watching chief keef videos, you're not a thug
>walkin through the city
>homeless kid just punches me in the side of the neck out of snowhere
>he's laughing with all his buddies right there so I just walk away
>see him alone the next day
>we make eye contact
>hit him in the head with a big can of paint I happened to be carrying
>keep hitting him with it once he goes down
>leave him there
I knocked someone out once with their own dog.
>be in park
>feel the urge to pee
>pee behind a bush
>>28466358
How did you get caught senpai? Someone snitch?
>>28466652
I beat my kid with my other kid.
>>28455779
Good for you Rorschach
>>28456911
That's hot. Anyone who thinks otherwise doesn't actually belong here.
>>28456989
leave this place, female scum
>>28466741
Nah, neighbours saw one of my friends enter the house and called the police. We were basically just partying there for days straight. Got a rude awakening at 7am by a knock on the door, they brought in at least 5 officers. Totally worth it.
>>28463926
I stole bunch of shit from the Benjamin Franklin museum in Philadelphia
>looking at cute pictures of huskies
>find wan I really like
>right-click disabled
>print screen
>crop it out
>have the picture
>>28455779
lmfao
originakdold text
>>28457450
>a rib had punctured her lung and she drowned in her own blood later that night.
i believed it untill then
why you faggots always overexagerate?
>>28467865
Because it's an edgy underage girl from tumblr.
The only part of that story which is true is her autistic dress getting juice on it
>>28467910
>her
hyou are even more retarded
>>28458331
>secret killer cringe
Is this a thing?
Probably depends on the psychology of the individual.
Capacity to feel remorse confirmed I guess.
>>28465312
you fucked up nigger
> Be me
> Have brother
> Brother rooms with hippie degenerate
> Him and he's organics obsessed, garage band fuck nut friends bully brother often.
> Brother kinda beta, does nothing about it
> One night, get drunk
> Go to house party where hippie is at
> Smash him in the face with a rock
> He maces me, I run away
> By some fucking miracle the police never get called
> Probably because hippie was selling drugs at party.
> Brother has to move out now
> Pockets both he's and hippie's damage deposit before doing so
This was years ago, still worry it's going to catch up to me one day.
Convicted of manufacture and commercial distribution of methamphetamine along with traffickable quantities of MDMA, cocaine, ketamine and GHB, fraud, multiple weapons and proceeds of crime. 3 years in jail. Thank fuck it wasn't in the states or I'd probably be in jail for the rest of my life.
>>28456686
You was the one who derailed that thread a few days ago.
never done anything truly illegal
but i have an anger issue and sometimes i get drunk and text girls who reject me horrible things, call them spic bitches or chink rice niggers and tell them i hope they kill themselves
if those got out i'd be ostracized, maybe fired...i worry about that sometimes
but nothing illegal
