How did you end up here? In the saddest and lowest part of the internet? What damaged you so bad that you can't be like the normal people of your age?
For me I believe it was the lack of a male role model while growing up, and the mental (and sometimes physical) bullying at school. I still can't understand why people have to be so mean at each other.
Share your story. Get it off your chest
>bump
originalo commento
>>28361807
6 years of depression and terrible grades (10-40%) despite my IQ being 120-130
No friends or girls
My dad
I'm only 5'10" and a brown eyed "white". It was over before it began.
Honestly, I'm not a robot. I have fucked many women and had girlfriends. I have an active social life. I browse here because it's one of the few places that shares my views on women. Women are inferior, and almost always are manipulative opportunistic sluts. There's very few communities where this is an acceptable view to have, so I'm here.
>>28361807
I've been such a coward my whole life, scared of conflict. I became a weak person.
I really want to learn a martial art when I move out of this town
>>28362101
>5' 10"
>over before it began
yeah try 5' 7" then complain
fucking normies i swear
>>28362183
You are a normie who hates women.
I honestly advise you to visti /r/theredpill on reddit. It's full of normies who hate women.
But yeah, I agree. They are inferior
>>28361807
>That is a seriously comfy picture.
And my life started going wrong a 6th grade, I started to isolate myself and just play vidya all day. Worst thing is that people invited me to do stuff but I never joined in and thus ended up a loner and nasty neck-beard.
All this led to stunted social growth which makes me feel as if I am on the same level as those 10 years younger than me.
My life has improved these last 2 years, mostly by sheer luck and the fact that I hit rock bottom and decided that I had to make changes.
I can and am capable of anything. IQ 150+ since last time I tested. People have bowed down to my mere word.
I am the loneliest man I have ever known.
I try to suppress that weakness.
Same here Op, lack of a male role model. I wasn't bullied per se, but I wasn't included in a lot of events which led me being socially crippled. Doesn't help that I was sort of a coddled and caged bird as a child. Kissless, friendless, and sympathizing with that bastard Elliot Rodger's views on women and the world. I'm only 19, this hole can't go much deeper, can it?
>>28362296
This is probably a fedora troll post, but I do agree. People with higher IQ tend to be more lonely and isolated, while dumb peope tend to make friends, and generally live their life much better. Ever seen a smart normie? I don't think so.
Anyway, I'd rather be a dumb normie than a high IQ loner
>>28361807
I'm a manlet, was bullied all through school for being a manlet. Now have no self confidence, or really confidence at all. I'm a nervous wreck most of the time, have pretty much no friends and no goals or plans for the future. I come here because I don't know where else to go.
>>28361807
>tfw bullied since kindergarten
>tfw no father figure other than psychologist
>tfw finding friends when you were 13 but lost them because they moved on but you didn't
>tfw high IQ but shit grades because broken from the start
>>28361807
>Emotional neglect
>Absentee father
>Brother was a narcissist
>Childhood bullying, exclusion
>False child molestation accusation at school from a girl that hated me.
I would've been fine, if the last one didn't happen.
Something broke inside me after that.
I'm a pretty socially capable person, I'm just depressed as shit. I thought I was over it since my freshman year but I'm just realizing lately that I've just gotten used to it. I've managed to get in to a research position that most people think is impressive and prestigious but I barely contribute anything because I can't stay focused long enough to develop any skills and it makes me feel useless. I pretty much fucked my life by being a huge beta orbiter for all of high school when I really had no reason to be one and even though I have a great relationship now I can feel that there is some part of me that is dead. Nothing bad has ever happened to me. I don't get it. I think I'm just inherently lazy and weak-willed.
>>28362366
I am real enough. My entire social life is built upon the lie that I am some near-omnipotent being, capable of the impossible. I can't relate to or trust people because of it.
>>28362366
>Anyway, I'd rather be a dumb normie than a high IQ loner
me too
>>28361807
My story so far.
>barely passed high school with grade from 50%-60%(D- to C)
>Don't go to prom or Uni
>all my friends and classmates got into Ivy League Unis
>Sad and depressed with no job experience or direction in life
>spend life searching for purpose via 4chan and message boards, vidya, and anime
>sister hooks me up with a sweet fancy/posh restaurant job minimum wage + big $$$ in tips
>making bank
>got into college studying IT (enjoying it)
>Invited to high school Reunion where people from uni wanna kill themselves for failing classes and dropping out
>old friends and classmates see me and say shit like "wow anon you got your shit together"
>familiar qt3.14s from highschool now want my d
>feelsgoodman.jpg
>mfw when normie classmates envy me for revenuing that moolah and going to school without failing
>mfw things turn out better than expected
I got bored of /tv/.
I eventually got bored of here too after a year and moved on to other boards. Idk why I came back because it's actually worse here than it was a year ago
>>28362528
>50%-60%(D- to C)
Since when the fuck was 50-60% a D- to C range? Anything below 60% used be an F, and Ds were also a failing grade too.
>>28361807
Dad left when I was 10
Knee injury lead me to gain weight
End up becoming fat loser through high school
Now 25, 7 years into a 4 year degree, KHHV
>>28361807
Fucking everything.
- My moral sensibilities are far too strong for this corrupt and fallen hell.
- I don't have a family and never really did and suffered abuse my entire childhood after about the age of 7
- Will never have a bf because they all cheat if you don't have an open relationship
- Have zero interests in common with the vast majority of people, so over time I just stopped communicating with everyone and became a hermit
- Poor so I either have to work my ass off the rest of my life just to hover in middle class for nothing or just remain poor
There's other shit, but I'm already too depressed.
>>28363151
>Will never have a bf
Is this a hidden bait?
>>28363176
I'm a guy. Gay dating is like a game of minesweeper where every square is a mine.
>>28363192
Ah okay. Kek'd at your example.
Well, I believe the same goes for us, straight guys. Only females are able to find a serious, decent guy, but even then, they will fuck him up.
> be 26
> weird home life growing up
> no active abuse, just passive neglect
> fucked up my sense of self esteem/worth
> basically raised myself on internet
> played vidya instead of homework
> learned that instead of trying i can get by on my inborn smarts
> did the college thing, it was whatever. no debt
> just now trying to get my life together
i stumbled in here recently and i see the person i used to be. it's kind of sad actually because i want to reach out to (some of) these people and tell them they can improve their situation but first they have to find value in themselves
ultimately though im here as a distraction. it's a time sink so i don't have to push myself to improve my life
>>28363229
No, it really doesn't. It's almost easy to find a halfway decent woman. There is literally no such thing as an attractive gay man who isn't a completely degenerate piece of shit. The sex and drugs flow way too freely and apparently nobody has any self-control.
>>28363291
>It's almost easy to find a halfway decent woman
Shitstorm comes in 1....2....3....
>>28362242
>>28362101
try 5'3" you normies
>>28363310
I've never had any problems with it. I've always said if I had been straight I could have been married several times over already. I never had any trouble attracting people of either sex - except the (always) straight guys I was interested in. I've attracted plenty of straight guys I didn't want to date. And faggots will fuck literally anything with a dick.
>>28361807
Over controlling mother
Spent life alone
Emotionally stunted
Exposed to much bad shit online
There is no fixing this life anymore. I'm just waiting to die so I can either press the reset button or fade away.
>>28363351
>I've attracted plenty of straight guys I didn't want to date
>STRAIGHT GUYS
>Attracted to other guys
Okay, I admit, you almost got me
8/10 bait
>>28363407
Well guys who are straight but were attracted to me and no other men, so far as I knew.
I'm just a weird fuck.
I never got bullied. My parents divorced when I was young but they were still very good. I was never poor or had any traumatic experience.
I never fit in, tho. I let down everyone all the time. No one ever liked me for too long, even those who had no one else to like.
My mind is kinda off. Social fuck ups envy me cause I look fine and I'm intelligent and talented, normal people dislike me cause I have a terrible personality and I'm kinda crazy. If I was uglier or more stable, maybe I'd be able to fit in somewhere.
Luckily, here I am just another crazy fuck, and the other crazy fucks can't envy me cause all they know is what they read. They don't think my life is better than theirs because I look good or I'm intelligent cause they don't know that. All they know is that I hate being alive and that's why we can get along.
>>28361807
Compulsive lying. Lost friends. Loosing contact with my parents. Failing at uni, will soon be back to be the neet i've been for 6 years.
I know thread died but anyway.
I have an intestinal illness, it seriously fucked up my life, I have it since many years ago but it wasnt that bad, now lately it has gotten worse to the point I cannot live normal anymore.
It makes you want to die, because I dont know if i will get healed
>>28361807
I don't have any problems bar an ingrown toenail, I just come here to shitpost tbqh
Let's see..
>Grew up isolated any depressed, no kids around except for school. Very shy.
>Use to make "dolls" out of spare clothes and cuddle them since I was a kid, every so often.
>Generally ignored by girls.
>Finally lost it just after high school to some girl I met online, I was in a LTR with her for about a year, she left me on christmas day.
>A few years later get married to this seemingly nice girl who pursued me, met her at the convience store on my way to work.
>She ends up running off, claiming she was raped, and became homeless and lost my 5 cats around the same time.
>No reason to live anymore
>She eventually leaves me for some convicted child molestor after dragging me thru hell for another 6 months to a year
>Limp on, find a girl, girl cheats on me/gets tired of me/goes insane
I thought the last one was pretty chill and nice. Then she decided she had fallen out of love with me about two years into the relationship, cut her hair short, and now indentfies as a boy or some shit.
She seemed so perfect..well decent and sane at least, and she had a nice, cuvry body.
Welp, foreveralone I guess.
All of these I.Q. posts means a lack of self confidence in the one thing r9k thinks it has left.
And also my dad. Fucking rapist wife beating cunt.
>>28361807
Curiosity killed the social life
I'm drunk, taking a shit and browsing 4chan.
addiction to anime + avoidant personality disorder + white male under 6'0" + brain imbalance + family history of autism and schizophrenia = 49 year old grand wizard.
Lost my job, a very high paying job of 8 years, which caused me to lose confidence in myself. Don't have a degree and I'm in my late twenties and can't find any work. It's over for me.
>>28361807
I'm too shy
I'm too awkward
Stupid
Followed rules and afraid to break them.
I cared too much about a what others thought of me.
I played video games too much.
I can't use the "lack of male role model excuse" because my brother turned out very successful despite having no father.
He's the opposite of what I am.
Lack of father figure, bullying, intimacy issues, and just general isolation for almost all my life to present (22 years old)
I used to cultivate friendships, relationships, and family now I have lost energy for all. I haven't been hugged in years, asked how I am genuinely doing, let alone really dated. I just work 2 jobs now so I never get really bored and can save up for a fancy Volvo to eventually cry in when I pissed away my savings into something I don't really need... Hey at least it will be nice to cry in a nice car that brings joy to think about owning.
>>28361807
Got bullied when I was young
Started physical and mental training when I got older
People then avoided me out of fear, and those who knew me would try to act tough to show off for others.
Not being able to smile (I only smile if I laugh) contributed to this.
If I have a conversation, I scrutinize it for days afterwards.
If I ever argued with somebody I knew, they would just call me an idiot and tell me to shut up without refuting my points.
Because people avoided me, I started to avoid people.
Because a botched greeting or conversation would go wrong, a mere stutter none but me would notice, I stopped greeting and talking to people.
Because debate conflicted with swimming, and because normies would just call me an idiot without refutation upon discussion or argument, I stopped discussing or arguing.
Ive come to realize im not built for this normal world.
I cant hold a conversation without a person telling me I sound like a book, or backing out because they got uncomfortable by my lack of smiling.
And so there is no one reason that I am where I am. I always have been here in a way, wondering to myself why I am different. Now I browse r9k, dep, and wiz with other outcasts.
>>28361807
I was molested from age 8 to 11, at 11 I had severe OCD, at 17 I was finally diagnosed with Depression and OCD took meds for it. At 24 first suicide attempt. I was diagnosed with agoraphobia, PTSD, Avoidance personality disorder, and social anxiety. Later went to rehab for cutting and was diagnosed with Borderline personality disorder.
I'm 27 and I've lived the NEET life for 9 years with no school and no job other than trying to be a camwhore for a month but giving up because of low self esteem and no sex drive.
idk if any of that explains anything though. Just felt like spewing it.
>>28361807
Shitty parents, no friends, being sent to a mental hospital, shittygf, being medicated since i was 10, being strangled by my mother, loser dad, all of my siblings being fucked up in some way. one had an eating disorder and the other is missing half of her brain. my mother is moving so all of my shit is being thrown away and my dad already threw out my shit. I literally only own what I can fit into an army duffel from WW2 and a shitty backpack.
I guess this turned into a blogpost but maybe someone can relate to what I'm saying. I'll talk to anyone at this point.
>>28361807
I've told my story before here
>military fag with rich chinese fiancee
> fiancee has miscarriage and leaves me
>become depressed alcoholic
>havent spoken to her in years.
>Still hope for a phone call
>>28366357
>Still hope for a phone call
Iktf
I don't even know what I would say if I got the call
>>28365174
It's not over for you until you're dead.
>>28366408
Tbqh lad i would probably break down and cry
I still think about her daily and scan my emails for scant hope
>>28361807
Ive been extremely introverted before I could even talk. I would never cry or whine for anything, I would just watch cartoons or do puzzles. As I grew up those were replaced with video games and guitar. Basically Ive always been like this and I dont know why
>>28366450
same here man
>tfw I walked into a building, turned around and saw her walking across the street
I was sweating so fucking hard and my face was so red, I thought I was going to break down in the library
i am a normie, i just come here when i run out of threads on /pol/, /fit/ and /sp/ lol
>>28362183
>There's very few communities where this is an acceptable view to have,
what?!!!
you consider the entire internet very few?
>>28362247
>his life revolves around women
>claims they are inferior
never change r9k
>>28368260
he meant irl if you express that view, people will tell you it's wrong, even if they secretly agree. but you knew that.
>>28361807
Im just here to laugh at you fiddlefaddles.
>>28362094
>my IQ is so high
>but i got poor grades
ahahahahaha
>bullied as a child
>started being self-conscious of myself from then on, hiding any hint of weakness from others
>feel like I have to best at everything or else will get ostracized again
>feel really bad whenever I get to know people better than me
>hate people looking at me/feel like I'm constantly being judged, thus rarely leave house
>>28368279
but why this board in particular? people clam to be normal bros lerking. but we're all on the sperg spectrum here. hating women is a sure sign of autism. women have an abundance of emotion. something they will never understand therefor they fear/hate them
>>28362383
I know the feel anon. This place is like a dead end, its seems like the way forward is blocked. But after being here I like to think that up is the only way to go. Fucking do something that makes you happy if you've got no plans. We'll be ok anon
>>28361807
>saddest and lowest part of the internet
You haven't seen nothing yet anon.
>>28364335
How can we know you're telling the truth anon?
>>28362366
125 iq here. Not insanely high but I hate life and I'm lonely.
One guy I used to hang out with back in highschool once told me that there was something wrong with me like I have no fire/passion.
I'm just a passive person that doesn't put much effort into anything beyond living.
I spend most of my free time here having empty conversations with other anons about stuff that doesn't matter much just to waste time.
My interests in video games, manga, or music are shallow and even though I enjoy them I don't ever look too deeply in to them.
I'm like a lump and I don't know why.
>>28363285
Am I looking into the future? So I actually make it in the end?
>>28363338
Holy shit, man. I'm sorry.
>>28368664
meditate anon. It's essentially doing nothing, and you sound very good at doing nothing. Maybe it will help you enjoy this reality a little.
>>28368336
I was like him except I ended up getting 5s on my AP Calculus BC, Physics C, and Chemistry exams, a 34 ACT, and a 2250 SAT.
Got Cs and Ds as grades.
>>28361807
>Implying this board isn't normie tier
>Implying it's anywhere close to the lowest board on 4chan alone
>>28361807
>7th grade everything normal so far
>grades alright, not great
>meet 7/10 emo grill
>cant sympathize because no problems
>idea.jpg
>begin lying to her and to myself about mental issues
>this becomes so normal for me that I start believing it.
>actually develop depression by force of habit
>she stops talking to me after a particularly bad suicide attempt of mine (havent spoken with her since)
>i slowly befriend my old friends again
>emo chick ive known for years is dating friend of mine
>idgaf.gif they're both great
>jump ahead to March 15th, 8th grade year
>friend dating emo chick killed himself. (pic related on left)
>Gunshot to the head
>typical survivors guilt and mourning
>his girl and I end up making out in the band closet a lot
>year ends Im now dating 8/10 girl of my dreams
>kinda redneck but sex was great
>this lasts until most of my way through sophomore year... cont.
I have no idea. I was a normal kid from a good home. Maybe moving abroad when I was ten fucked me up?
>>28368928
>girl and I fight a lot. too much
>terrible breakup.png, leaves us both emotionally destroyed
>by now depression was my entire life. that was my character
>at one point have fight with dad that ends with me calling suicide hotline
>spend about a week in mental institution
>get out on good behavior basically
>making friends through few friends i still have
>eventually start talking to old friend
>he and his friends try smoking, tell me to come
>whynot.exe
>end up using weed as a medicine to help ease my depression
>it worked better than lexapro has
>end up reforming relationships because of smoking
>become known as huge pothead and weird meme
>fuck it, that's who i'll be
>heard of 4chan before, decide to try it out
>a/b/ducted and havent left since
>>28369005
I mean, emigration and leaving everything you know behind when you are a kid is not easy, even if I did not move THAT far.
Maybe its the constant rejection from women. Maybe I am just a melancholic who cannot feel happy no matter what
>>28368557
this is the only place where I can almost speak truthfully. Maybe avoiding details sometimes, but in the great scheme of things i try to tell the truth in every post and replies i make about my life, advices from experience, opinions, whatever. Its in real life where I constatly lie to escape from responsibilities, appear things I'm not, get away from arguments.
Sigh.
>>28362366
>Ever seen a smart normie? I don't think so.
I have, most successful people are smart normies. Most professors at uni's, most medical students, most lawyers, most politicians, most businessmen, most of any successful position, most of the kids that were second in my classes were all socially successful.
The whole
>People with high IQ's are more likely to be lonely
thing we tell ourselves is just bullshit trying to justify our own failures. We're lonely because not only will we not try, but we're just fundamentally behind, meaning that to succeed even at that fundamental, we'd have to try much, much harder than most people.
Being smart doesn't make it harder to relate to people at all, because it doesn't actually change your character at all, you can be literally any sort of person and be smart as well.
>>28361807
parents became catholic when i was 2 years old. from then on, i was homeschooled until middle school, didn't even meet another person until i was 8 years old, had no access to anything besides old star wars comics and a breaking VHS player until i was 12. beaten by my father for ten years, until i was strong enough to hurt him if he fought back. bullied by the other kids in the neighborhood, treated like the lowest of the low even among "friends". i only ever met one guy who just wanted to be friendly, a mexican weeb i met in 8th grade. i dropped out of school in 9th grade and went back to homeschool, which i failed when i was 18. i live in a house with six younger siblings, ages from 1-16, and i don't even have a room of my own. i heard voices in my head as a child, and i have no capacity for love or empathy. i just want to end my life but i don't have the will, because i'm a coward.
>>28369564
oh, and i was beaten if i didn't follow strict religious codes all day, and i had a near-rape encounter with one of the priests when i was an altar server.
Well my therapist says I have aspergers and OCD, I had very restrictive parents in child and teen years, extreme introversion and a naturally feminine personality (despite being super heterosexual since I was 5 years old). This all resulted in spending my teen years as a meek shy beta failing to develop essential social skills and other facets of normalcy. There is also that I am a heavy daydreamer and procrastinator, so naturally I would not follow the normal high school-college-career path like normal people nor have the drive to compete in the cutthroat capitalism system on my own. Not long ago the end result was mainly spending much of my life masturbating and viewing porn, browsing 4chan and doing other stuff online, and going on long walks outside. Now I spend even more time outside and delved deep into a yoga and meditation practice I partake in a a local center.
Since I quit fapping I don't browse 4chan as much and /r9k/ a small fraction of that (mostly boards like pol, his, biz). And though I have how negative this board is with over 9000 depression and suicide threads a day, I keep lurking occasionally and once in a while even have a good read/discussion. Still in all though, literally all I do at home when I'm awake is internet. I don't have a TV, lack the attention span to read books, and never owned a video game in my life.
Even though I consider myself a happy person, I am still an autistic NEET virgin, and though none of those things bother me, I am true robot and can relate on some level.
>>28369791
>For me I believe it was the lack of a male role model while growing up,
My father was much older than my peers' parents, he grew up in a time when America was white, schools were segregated, no PC/SJW/feminazi crap, and it was super easy to have friends, get women and make money. So there was no way he could have prepared me for the world. As it was, he was a couch potato who spend most of the time watching TV, and was often a mean asshole to me, perhaps trying to harden me up or discipline me well, but it just made me hate him. I told him I wish he would di hundred of times, but I was sad when he did. However, he happened to have died near the end of my last semester of a long drawn out community college stint 3 years ago after which I have been full NEET. My mother would never kick me out, but my father would, and I'm sure I would have kicked his old ass and ended up in prison then homeless, rather than currently enjoying the freedoms of NEEThood with a little inheritance money to enjoy.
>and the mental (and sometimes physical) bullying at school. I still can't understand why people have to be so mean at each other.
Its just humanimal nature to compete in dominance hierchies. In school I fell for the be nice tell the teacher meme and as a result was often picked on and pushed around. Once at after school care my mom saw me hit someone back after hitting me, and then scolded me for it and denied me a cinnamon roll at the bakery on the way home. I called her a fucking bitch cunt.
-Thats another thing. My parents never could discipline me, make me respect them or mold moral values into me. I was not afraid to cuss them out.
Although father never beat or starved me, some of the ways he tried to discipline and restrict me could be considered psychological bullying and emotional abuse. But then again likewise I done similar things with the ways I talked to him probably.
Well, I was born to a single mom and I never meant my dad. When I was four years old, a couple weeks before Christmas, she took me out for the day. We got lunch at a local restaurant, went to see a movie, and went shopping. We didn't have a lot of money, but she bought me a stuffed bear. Then we went to another restaurant on the way home and had dinner. After that, we stopped at a bus station and she told me to grab my stuffed bear and wait for her while she went to do something really quick. So I waited, and she never came back. Just like that, she abandoned me and ran off. I haven't had a family in 22 years. There were other things that happened to me later on, but that's the moment that broke me and drove me to come here in the first place. The internet's junkyard, where all the discarded, broken, lonely people end up.
>>28368832
What boards are worse? Obviously Wizchan is a lower part of the internet, it's pretty much where people from here go before they kill themselves generally, but this is one of the more negative boards on this site.
>no positive father figure in my life.
>missed a lot of necessary emotional and psychological milestones.
>lost the genetic lottery.
>overprotective single mother that kept me sheltered.
almost 30 and a NEET, suicide creeps into my head often, and of course I still live with my mother.
>>28361807
If you think this is the saddest place on the internet I suggest you check out wizardchan
holy shit, this is the most depressing humblebrag thread ive ever seen. get a hold of yourself faggots, and realise your inferior genes/upbringing are the reason you are like this. its at least nice you can congregate here though.
I just come here for fun but it makes me realize how other people have it worse especially those who grew up with no role models. I admit, I used to think I had it hard too until I realized that really everything falls into perspective and there is no such thing as good or bad. You just have to accept how things are.
>What damaged you so bad that you can't be like the normal people of your age?
Honestly? Nothing damaged me. I had a pretty comfy life to be honest especially as an only child where I learned to become independent of myself. Also, I had a taste of the social life and it really isnt that great because overall it's a big waste of time and I don't like to ass lick people. Im just not that type of person to be extroverted and always be with people.
Everyone here looks pretty normal but it's just y'all exaggerate too much about your problems. Way too much.
I don't even know any more.
I guess there's just some people who were gone from the start, and I happened to be one of them. I had normal parents, and they did their best. I wasn't poor, so my circumstances were normal
I used to get bullied a lot in school, and because I kept getting expelled and sent home for violent retaliation, I didn't learn fuck all. And eventually, fighting all the time gave me a taste for it, and since puberty hit at the same time, I developed a sexual thing for hurting people
GF left me few months back, had been with her for three years since I was 16. We were even thinking about marriage. But I failed to account for a woman's nature - If they get bored of you, they'll leave. If you no longer have what they want, they'll leave. She probably doesn't even remember my name now
She gave me a little homemade booklet with reasons why she loved me around a year into our relationship, and I treasured that little booklet. Last time I talked to her after we broke up, I told her that everything in that book must have been a fucking lie from the start and she can take it back and do whatever she wants with it. She started crying and for a moment, I think she realised just how much she meant to me. Then forgot in the same instant because what the fuck does any woman care about others. She'll make the same fucking book for some other guy, and the guy after him, and so on. She'll just change the name at the end of it
I just wish I wasn't so naive to let my guard down and believe someone actually tolerated my presence. It fucked me over when I was kid, it fucked me over when I was an adult. It'll keep fucking me over because as much as I swear 'never again' I'll just keep getting fucked over because I'm too indifferent any more to be the one doing all the fucking over
I just want one last fight. I want someone to be responsible for killing me, because killing myself is surrender. I can't join the Army because they'll realise my intention and refuse me
My mom was 36 when she had me so that undoubtedly fucked me up somehow
My dad was gone working overseas for most of my life so I didn't have anyone to give me the facts of life or push me to excel in school or in sports
When he was around he took the laissez faire parenting approach
My parents were not very active in my life at all, I never got the drug talk or the sex talk or any kind of motivation
They pretty much just assumed that I would turn out all right because I had an upper middle class upbringing and when I fucked up there was no discipline brought down on me, it was just "okay you'll get past it and move on to be successful"
And from the onset of puberty til the age of 24 I was engaging in extremely destructive thrill-seeking behavior that again was met with no punishment when I fucked up
I should've joined the military when I had the chance but I was too stupid to do so and had no one offering me any direction in life
If I ever have children I will definitely take a much more active approach to parenting
>>28362318
Once you stop caring how low you've sunk, the real party begins. I'm dead inside.
>>28361807
I already posted my story in another thread like this not long ago. However, I didn't say how exactly I ended up on /r9k/, so here it is:
>be 23 in late 2011
>stuck in university
>bachelor's thesis is pretty much the only thing left to do so stay mostly at home
>working hard, 70-80 hours a week (large topic and demanding instructor)
>also communication problems with university
>one day
>take a break or don't have started working on that day yet
>browsing 4chan
>find in the site's news that /r9k/ is back
>faintly remember looking at the board years ago
>decide to check it out again
>see threads about interesting stories and other OC
>also see threads about rejection, loneliness, bullying, failures, etc.
>keep reading
>feel something intense that is hard to describe
>realize this is where I belong
These threads make you pile on the sadness, desu no one cares about your problems accept it and move on nobody else will live your life anyway. Life is unfair as it is fair we need the dark times to keep us awake
people grew distant from me and from there i was completely alone. pretty sure browsing this website all day doesnt help
>>28361807
daddy issues, left when i first started school, was into all kinds of shit, over time all of it went away, had no dreams no interests nothing still dont, its not that i dont try shit out its more that it just gets boring real quick its just a fucking circle repeating same shit if you look at it from a bigger angle
it seems that male role models really give children meaning in life, and a certain mindset for the future
>saddest and lowest part of the internet
>/r9k/
pick one.
I just really, really hate myself. I have friends and I can talk to girls and they enjoy talking to me but I refuse to go through with flirting and simultaneously shame myself in private over it.
I'm stuck with this notion that a girl dating me, or even interacting with me in a romantic, sexual, or intimate context is nothing but burdened. I can't see myself as attractive or of value, I /refuse/ to. I'm not enough of a man, I'm too much of a dick, I'm too smart, I'm too stupid, I'm too naive, I'm too pessimistic, I'm too much of a stoner, I'm not well-rounded enough. Excuses, excuses, excuses.
Nowadays I find it becoming harder and harder to involve myself in conversations and topics relating to popular sexuality, just because of how little I relate to it, and how little I feel I relate to people overall now. I can feel the bitterness and spiteful angst welling up every time. I can identify it, but that doesn't make it go away. I'm stuck hating them for getting what I couldn't push myself to have. It's probably going to end up being a virgin suicide here.
>>28374626
>Implying
Where do you think we are?
>>28369911
Damn that's rough. You have my sympathy, for what it's worth.
It's not even in the Top fucking 100
>furry discussion boards
>korean sexcartoons discussion boards
>fetish boards
>deviantart
>>28374703
Oh wow epic novel Anon are you 12 or something? I know I was this edgy when I was 12.
When I was in high school, my "friends" would literally hate me for no reason. They despised me. They basically said that they would never sit by me in class if they had a choice not to, they stole my memes, they stole my Nintendo DS and threw it into a river, and worst of all, they all got in trouble one day with the cops for making a kid almost kill himself, and they got boned by the cops, and they tried to say I made fake accounts of them, and the cops came to my door. I kindly told them to look at the profiles again and those faggots got boned. I got expelled from school along with them and the shit was already final when I was proven innocent. I was ripped from society and became the robot I am now. These faggots still hate me and years later, I saw one of them at Wal-Mart and they were the cashier. Apparently, they have a criminal record now and can't get a job that's good. They said "meet me outside"
I go outside, and I'm 6'3" and a lanklet, so I probably couldn't hit them, I thought. This guy is 5'7" and is a skinny faggot. I've waited all these years to fucking kick this faggot's ass. I punch him in the face before he lands a hit on me and when he's on the ground, I start slamming my fists on his face like a nigger about 20 times or so, with people staring at me almost killing him. He lays there with a nose bleed and being unconscious and dumb Stacy bitches are screaming "HELP HELP HELP" and recording it with their phones like a dumb bitch and I just run back to my car and get the fuck out of there. It wasn't near any cameras, so I didn't get boned, but the Stacy bitches were recording it all. I have no idea how it went down when I left, but I'm happy I got revenge on at least one of those fucks.
That's basically my story.
I haven't even fucked my life up that badly yet. In fact I'm about to graduate highschool and go to a top tier uni. I even have a small tight knit group of friends. I'm here pretty much because I have zero experience with girls and I'm worried I may not ever get much experience with them.
>>28374743
on the borders of the normieland where chads and stacies fuck and party all day every day
>>28375605
This story pisses me off. Not what you did, but what happened to you. Thanks for reminding me that my life ain't all that bad, though.
> 5' 6" mexican manlet
> father got a chronic disease and passed out, so was mostly absent
> bullied non stop by my older brother
> insecure around girls
> play vydia all game cos its my only escape
> get picked in school often cos my tastes in music, anime and such
> masturbate everyday
> depressive
> beta and passive
> smoke weed everyday to help me cope with reality
>pretty much lost all hope to get my shit together
Now i'm 26 and things have only got worse. I'm here since 2010 cos i literally i don't know where else to go. I still hope to someday get out of this shithole and get my life together, but deep inside i know i will end killing myself one of this days. I'm convinced im not made for this world, so why bother trying?
>>28362429
I feel the same as you
I've been brainwashed by my family, we're mexican and their story is about getting married and have children before 27. I was sexually abused by my father since 5 (since i can remeber) to 9yrs old so my mind is not that healthy, I still live with my father and my mom did nothing about it. I'm 21yrs old now and studying engineering. I am very depressed with social anxiety and panic attacks, i feel so weak and worried what i'm going to do with my life if i fail. All i have to do now is finish my studies and i just want to move out of here and even my country. Sometimes i don't want to see anybody but i feel so lonely and lost the only friend i had so i am isolated and just came here to post randomness feeling sorrow and pain.
>>28376506
I really did hate high school though, so it's one of the best things to happen to me, but also the worst since I never got to get a high school education. I dropped out because I was going to get my GED but I never got it.
>>28361807
Relentless bullying at school coupled with bad habits and refusal to talk to people.
One day you're 22, the next day you wake up and you're 35 years old.
I still have no idea what the hell happened.
Luckily, I lost my virginity this year and it has improved my self-esteem by miles.
All I need is a simple job or lifetime disability and I think I would be okay.
>>28361807
How did I end up here?
No. That's not what it should be.
Don't you realise that most self-aware people are failing? The question shouldn't be "where did you fail?", it should be "where did those others get lucky?".
>>28362094
>Bad grades
>High IQ
Pick one.
