>elementary school
>some girl likes me
>she REALLY likes me
>tfw she's really perverted at like age 5-10
>one time she asked me if I knew where babies came from
>another time she told me that if I came to her house she'd answer the door naked
>too beta/smart to bang before I hit puberty
>she has to move one day
>welp there goes the only girl that ever "loved" me
>don't even feel like I should have to mention anime, the internet, and how cartoons like to be sexual, especially if focuses on furries
>without a doubt slightly autistic
you guys?
>>28338001
>Makes coffee
What the hell you want.
>>28338047
What?
What the hell do you mean?
>>28338076
>sips coffee
What do you want.
>>28338047
>>28338076
>>28338116
Something's not right
>>28338116
Are you fucking role-playing?
>>28338193
>>28338204
I am asking the man what the hell does he want while drinking my coffee.
>>28338222
Nobody is drinking your coffee.
>>28338276
I AM the one drinking coffee. Any questions?
>>28338222
>>28338276
The point of this thread is to say what the hell screwed you up, like why are we on this board?
>>28338320
He's being an autist senpai.
The coffee is an irrelevant detail that his autism spurred him to mention.
>>28338336
This desu.
>>28338320
My father beating me messed me up.
>>28338336
Whatever, anyways, post why you are the person you are today.
>>28338320
Im here to drink this nigger's coffee
>>28338363
>tfw dad drinks
>tfw mom is old and dying
>tfw verbal abuse
>tfw mom was physically abused
>tfw dad's friends and family are all shit
>>28338455
AYYYYY! Same senpai.
>tfw bullied for years
>tfw family is a bunch of dickheads
>tfw high expectations for your whole life
>tfw can't blow your brains out because you don't want to leave your sister alone in this shithole
>>28338001
Nigel
fucked me up for life
i'll never be the same
>>28338482
we /sad boys/ now
>>28338499
>having something to live for
you fucker
>>28338540
honestly more like
>having something that keeps you from ending this shitty life
Not exactly what I hoped for fampai
>>28338571
At least you have a companion.
You must be close with your sister, what would you do if you lost her?
>>28338625
If I would lose her due to external influence eg killed by drunk driver or some shit I would get that fucker and make him suffer. If I would lose her due to illness or something of the likes I would most likely blow my brains out instantly.
>>28338737
So basically, I kill your sister with a sniper rifle and disappear.
>Anon spends his entire life searching for her killer.
>Anon finds reason to live.
PROBLEM SOLVED.
>>28338737
>revenge
>then most likely suicide
hardcore, you should tell me how you would get revenge if some dude killed your sister
>>28338787
kek
>>28338806
>>28338787
>implying it is realistic that anyone would shoot my sister in the face
I was talking about something that is actually a realistic thing to happen in europoor
>inb4 Paris
>>28338848
so what would you do if some wanker ran over your sister or if some drug dealer or whatever shanked/raped and killed her
>>28338001
>didn't do shit in high school, stayed in room and jerked off all day, played games and watch anime
>didn't do shit in college, stayed in room and jerked off all day, played games and watch anime
>didn't get a job til my early 20s
>still a broke, bitter bum who barely knows how to form any sort of relationships
i ruined myself senpai.
>>28338902
He already said. He's gonna do something violent and possibly regret later.
>>28338902
probably track him down cut off his balls or some shit. Hell I can get creative when the situation arrives but I doubt it would.
>>28338948
would not regret it but blow out my brain because without her there is literally no reason to stay alive for me.
>>28338977
Right...forgot about that part. Lucky dubs though.
i would say bullies at home and school that quite kid
>being so good in school you never developed a work ethic
kms
>>28338999
But dat trips tough!this is oregano commentati parmesan
>>28338276
Kek
jklkj
A crush in middle school somehow managed to avoid me entirely for two years after I had told her I liked her.
Another crush in middle school told someone else I made her uncomfortable because I stare too much.
A crush in high school shot me down completely when I was standing next to her and someone else asked her if she would date me hypothetically.
Asked my crush to go to prom with me, she said she didn't want to go to prom and would rather hang out with me that night. Chad asked her to prom the next day and she said yes.
Got bullied for not being a complete academic retard as a child.
Family discouraged me from pursuing my dream of being in an orchestra after being first chair of my section in every school band I was in and getting recruited to advanced band a year early.
As an adult, I have a hard time trusting women, holding a conversation without pre-established common interests, and have a hard time maintaining solid eye contact in a nonbusiness environment.All of those factors combined with the fact that I've never had a paying job outside of an unpaid internship in high school make me an absolute social wreck. It doesn't help that I don't follow any mainstream trends or celebrity/sports news so I literally have nothing to talk about to anyone who isn't an autist with interests similar to mine.
>mfw im the person who ruined my life
>mfw im the only person who can fix it
>>28339161
>yfw you're not gonna do the things necessary to fix your life
>>28339129
>tfw still crushing on some girl from middle school
>maybe I should say in love instead of crushing
>never actually talked to her
>>28338001
Chronic thumb sucking.
I could've been Chad if it wasn't for that man.
I probably also would've been a better person since "muh halo effect".
>>28338313
yes
You have been muted for 8 seconds, because your comment was not original.
>what ruined you as a person
Flunking out of college in a family that considers absolutely nothing more important than higher education. My parents both have PhDs as do most of my family; I'm the only one with anything less than a Masters. Absolutely killed my self-worth and considering that I was already a depressed mess of a human being, it destroyed me.
>in high school
>was actually kind of popular
>in class with group of girls
>one says "theres like no cute guys in this class at all"
>other girl goes "oh my god I know"
>they turn around
>no offense anon
>>28339994
Wow you have thin skin. Jesus Christ that's pathetic if that's what triggered you.
>>28340028
Why did you have an erection then?
Japanese people ruined my life and especially my childhood
I was sexualy assaulted as a little boy (11-12years).
>single mother
>family of immigrants; language barrier with own family
>left by only person I really trusted after 6 years
>got cheated on by different gril
>got cheated on by yet another gril
Ended up with severe trust issues, lots of meds to take daily, and antisocial personality disorder. Very nearly killed one of the guys who cucked me. I just about consider it a miracle of modern psychiatry that I'm on the way to med school to become a surgeon and getting money for cutting people apart rather than getting arrested for cutting people apart. Even if I fail that I'll just become a mortician or something.
>tfw no gf to be yanderes with
>inb4 2edgy4me
>inb4 normie pls go
when I realized that a 4.5 inch is never going to be enough for any female
There are a variety of reasons. Being bullied and being raised by a single mother turned me into a shut-in NEET.
I know I should kill myself. But still, I persist.
>>28338001
Childhood trauma. I never stood a chance fellas.
>be 7
>have full blown stroke
>take YEARS to fully recover
>despite me trying to explain WHY i am the way i am everyone refers to me as the GIMP cause my left leg now angels inward 30 degrees, i slur my speech, and i have assymetrical musculature from BEING IN A HOSPITAL BED FOR A FUCKING YEAR
fuck all of them, i recovered, i have a good job now, i have a house almost paid off. Half of them are dead to various things, the other half are bald, fat, lazy, Walmartesque job employees
the GIMP beat you all in the end suckers, i'm planning a trip to Switzerland, you wont EVER leave the country cause your walmart job doesnt afford it.
I win, you lose in the game of life
>only child
>both parents got killed by a mugger in front of my eyes at age 8
>vividly remember this moment
>happen to be born into a position of power in a large corporate company
>at night I dress in tights and save people
>>28340247
I would also get into the mortician business.
Where do I sign up?
being gay, desu
>>28341193
Mortuary colleges are things, at least in the US. Crematory technician or a similar position is an easy way to get into it without much in the way of training, though.
Smoke Gets in Your Eyes was a fun read if you want to look into it more.
>>28341176
Fuck you, Bruce. I'm glad your parents are dead.
>get hit by a garbage truck as a kid, nearly die lying there in the street
>only my mom is there, my dad's on business
>she's all alone as i fall in and out of consciousness for over a day in the hospital
>when they finally release me its the day my dad comes back
>"ohh he's fine, you're overreacting."
>mom starts hitting the bottle, begins to hate my dad for being gone
>starts beating on him, then one day tries to kill herself in front of me
>dad begins hitting the bottle in response to constantly being beaten verbally and mostly physically
>become a recluse (out of fear my parents would either kill each other or themselves)
>abuse goes on for like 6 years, fucks me up good
>finally they divorce
>my mom continually hits rock bottom, culminating in her death last year due to complications from alcoholism
>dad has been in rehab just short of 10 times and now has a new family. i'm the black sheep that only makes appearances when its absolutely necessary, and i spend most of my time being a wallflower at these events
>living alone with no friends, no gf, no family
I feel like I should have died that day. It's been miserable ever since.
I did a lot of drugs for a while and that made me happy, I guess. Happier than now at least.
Maybe this is fucking hell, maybe I never woke up from being hit by that garbage truck.
>>28341328
That's pretty sad senpai. It's like the sort of thing you make indie horror games about.
I'd be your friend.
>>28338001
>>don't even feel like I should have to mention anime, the internet, and how cartoons like to be sexual, especially if focuses on furries
????
I don't understand this line.
Sexual content on the internet is among the things that ruined you as a person? especially if it's furry, you say?
How did it ruin you senpai?
>>28338001
>grandma was remarried several times
>last time she remarried it was to a black guy
>had an aunt a year younger than me, that was half black
>when we were 7 or 8 years old, we both used to hide under the covers and make out, touch our privates, and give each other oral and have dry orgasms
>went on until I entered middle school, then my parents moved out of state.
Interestingly enough, I'm one of the most extreme racists on /pol/, yet the only girl that I have had sexual contact with was black, and half related to me.
>>28341328
holy moly, thats a feel
>twf mommy gave birth at 14
Why didn't you just abort me mum? You could have pursued your dreams and I could have skipped it on existing
>>28342048
>mom gave birth at 16
>keeps telling me she was married and it definitely wasn't out of wedlock
>dad was a drug dealing chad
yeah, okay mom.
>>28338001
My life was essentially ruined by my own childish naivety when I moved up a grade
>Teacher thought I was too young to move on to first grade
>Teacher decides I should be held back because my birthday was in early august so I turned 6 way after the other kids
>Go through Kindergarden second time, get to fourth grade
>Fairly popular, one of the "smart" kids, in a special smart kid class outside of normal classes that does stupid shit from what I remember about it
>Enjoy the physical activities, even though I was any good
>Had friends, many came over some times but the close friends seemingly always moved away after I started to hangout with them
>Am exceptional at academics, only thing I've ever been good at, 4th grade teacher believed I should move up a grade
>"Gee willikers less school? I'm IN!"
>Am now 5th grader
>Expected "new kid" treatment, instead of welcomed with resentment for getting to skip a grade, I also believe it was because I appeared really young, even compared to the rest, despite being near to their age
>Stuck with one friend(John) I had since kindergarden, he's loner status. Best friend but was afraid to get close to him out of fear he would disappear, as had happened to me in the past
>Have one close friend(Daniel) who I played games and hung out with 6-7th grade
>Suddenly drops contact with me
>Found out popular kids convinced him to stop talking to me
>After Daniel dropped me I felt like what everyone said, that nobody likes me or ever will
>Queue edgy 8th grader syndrome, at some point I actually told someone "I don't feel anymore" I cringe at the memory
>Only hang with John and friend that joined us named Tyler, the loser trio, though I was the biggest, the other two were close to each other, John had a best friend in one grade up and Tyler was friends with a popular kid
>All the while the seed of my self hatred grows, despite believe I don't care what people think
life story time?
Religion ruined me.
>be 3-4 year old me
>pull pants down in the bathroom because boy wanted to see
>be 10-12
>dad chases me around the house screaming
>"lets see if your boobies grew!"
>be 11
>get grasped and held down by a family member
>be 13
>drunk old man comes by
>starts saying how he wants to lick my pussy and do me in the shed
>run home and tell mom
>"okay."
>be 14 to now
>family tells me they hate me, I do not deserve to be here, I should kill myself, locks me in the house or tells me to get the fuck out every day
no friends, no life.
but I am a femanon so it does not matter
>>28343137
I had one good friend in elementary school,same age, who was only my friend because his mum pitied me. After we had been friends for a while he made me come into the woods with him and he'd make me jerk him off and run around nude for him and stuff. When i protested he said he'd that he wouldn't be my friend if I didn't and he said I'd be all alone and I'd be nothing without him. That kinda fucked me up really badly
>what ruined you as a person
people
>>28341169
Fuck yeah anon, good work. If only the other loser NEET's could take a note outta your book
>>28338001
4chan. 4chan ruined me. And it ruined all of you too. Don't lie.
>>28343475
Well did those tits grow? Fuckin post em plox
>>28344244
I was already out of school by the time 4chan came out, it just fed me more, I'm still not into traps though
>messaging girl through instagram
>call her ugly as a joke
>"thanks for reminding me why no one likes you"
Didn't ruin me, but it was recent, and a story i felt like telling.
>>28344293
You do sound like a little faggot
>>28341169
NPD is the worst personality disorder to have man. It's incredibly difficult to interact with someone who sees life as a way of getting back at "people who doubted him" Get help.
being fat as kid broke me even after I lost the weight.
starting around the age of 7, I used to get dropped off to get babbysat by my grandparents while my mom worked, the thing is.. so did my other 4 or 5 cousins. I was the second youngest and was picked on constantly for anything and everything for years until I was about 10 when I stopped going over there.
when I say everything, I mean everything, even if one of my older cousins did something silly or dumb, the other ones would laugh as a joke.. the way it was intended, but if I did it or said or whatever or even just similar, I'd get called names and laughed at in a mean spirited way.
my mom was too poor to take me places because she was a single mom for the most part because my dad was a stupid asshole in and out of jail and made home life terrible for me and her when he was around because he had bipolar disorder (diagnosed years later) and had an awful temper. my cousins always went places with their parents all as big groups and I never once got to go with them (Disneyland etc.)
so I grew up afraid to ever express myself around people, and still am for the most part besides just able to carry on simple conversations. i regularly have urges to just say what's on my mind, or just sing out loud like any normal person would, you know like when a song is playing and I'm around people. I do it by myself. so basically around everyone I know, I'm just this really quiet guy who just talks when talked to, I mean sometimes when I get to know someone well enough, I'll kinda open up more but still, I hold back a lot and never really truly speak my mind.
and I know people find me boring, but I feel like they all feel bad and don't want to tell me, except one friend of mine has jokingly called me boring a few times, and I know she's partly serious because every joke has a little truth to it.
I'm 29, and still afraid to just be myself
>>28338001
>At primary school
>Have HUGE group of friends. Really happy.
>All my friends are a year younger than me.
>Go to middle school
>Suddenly no friends as my friends remained at primary
>School has kids from a different rough primary school
>Get bullied physically and verbally every single day
>All my former friends went to different middle school because their parents were smart enough to know my one was the shit one
>Try to make new friends but people don't like me
>By the time I go to high school my confidence is destroyed and I have no friends
>Now I'm 33 years old, never had friends (since primary school) or a girlfriend
>>28340117
wht did he do to you
>>28339129
That prom one was a bitch haha
>>28343475
>even her dad wants to fuck her
WOMEN
CAN'T
BE
ROBOTS
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Not growing past 5'8"
Make me literally 2 inches taller and my life is dramatically different
>>28338001
>be me aged 14
>big group of friends and doing well in school, shitty home life
>decide to move with my dad on the other side of the country, never met him before
>he's really nice at first but he drinks a lot
>starts beating me and calling me a rotten kid when he is drunk
>no friends and can't focus on school cause ritual beatings
>this happens almost every day and eventually moves onto being raped by my dad
>goes on for years until I leave at 18 years old to go back with mom
>asexual now, trust issues and mental problems
>mom tells me to stop being so sad and to do something with myself
>all I do is drink all day and cry myself to sleep over how fucking stupid I am.
>>28343475
tits or gtfo, you know the drill. FUck you bot this is a legitimate response
>>28338001
Girls like that are usually sexually abused or witness their mom being sexually abused.
>>28344616
>2 inches taller
5'10 is still manlet tier, faggot.
>>28344616
>he thinks being 5'10 isn't manlet status
>>28343475
Reminds me of my twin sister
>>28344661
>>28344666
Nah, 5'10" is completley normal. As a 5'8" manlet I've observed/"studied" this to the point of insanity and came to conclusion 5'10" is where you seem completely fine and some people even mistake as 6 foot.
Mike Tyson, Lemmy, David Bowie all 5'10" guys that I've never heard called "manlets'
5'3 and below It's ogre
5'4 - 5'5 JUST
5'6" You're officially a "short guy"
5'7 Manlet Prince
5'8 - 5'9 Manlet King
5'10 Normal guy
5'11 You're officially "tall"
>first real gf
>found out she was pregnant to her last bf 2 months into going out
>said I'd stick it out for now but I'm not being a dad
>baby dies
>has to give birth
>she was suicidal
>didn't want to leave her like that
>anti depressants tuned her insane
>didn't know it was the anti depressants at the time
>she started hearing voices
>she asked me to kill her
>I spent weeks, maybe months, trying to give her the perfect last day then kill her in her sleep.
That fucked me up for a very long time.
>>28344744
>Nah, 5'10" is completley normal
>being this delusional
>>28344821
Whatever, bro. I'm not 5'10" so I have no bias.
>>28344744
>5'10 is normal
I see 6'+ girls every day m8 5'10 is a joke
>>28344751
Did you succeed?
>7 years old
>live in a small, safe town
>go to the park one day
>need to leave to make it home in time for dinner
>grabbed by a teenager while I'm leaving
>tells me if I scream he'll kill me and shows me a knife
>takes me to the bathroom, makes me strip
>stuffs my panties in my mouth and fucks me
>leaves me there crying and my parents find me after a few hours of looking
Never had a chance.
>>28344936
Men want you even when you're 7. Women literally cannot be robots. Now fuck off roastie!
Having a bipolar + schizophrenic drug addicted abortion reject for a father.
>>28344640
>>28344270
here
bloxblox
>>28344974
>anon confirmed attention whore
Not a robot. Fuck off roastie.
>>28344959
That was the last time anyone wanted me. I've spent the 18 years since making myself unattractive. I'm a greasy, hairy skeleton covered in scars. Got a nice big one where I slashed my own throat at 16.
>>28345020
>being wanted even once in your life
YOU'RE NOT A ROBOT!!!! FUCK OFF ROASTIE!!!!!
>>28344936
Did you ever find out who it was?
>>28345044
They found him pretty quickly. He wasn't exactly subtle about what he was doing so when they asked around they got some tips.
>>28345056
Did he survive prison?
>>28338001
constantly burned by people, whether it would be girls or friends that dropped me for other people
every day that goes by i actually notice how my emotions go down the drain slowly
edgy i know
>>28345075
I don't know and I don't really care. I hope they did to him what he did to me, though.
>>28345020
No one cares roastie
Broken chicks can't be helped
>>28345091
Hopefully. Otherwise, you should find out and cull his remains if need be.
being born shy and too nice i suppose
too many people have taken advantage of me
>>28338276
I laughed a great many times
>>28338001
she was molested as a kid you stupid cuck.
>>28345099
Some can. I'm past redemption, though. I've spent the last decade and change on 4chan every day, which probably hasn't helped.
>>28345124
I just don't want anything to do with him either way.
>>28344936
i'm jealous, can you give me more details? i swear i won't masturbate to your suffering.
here's my story:
i'm just so fucking autistic that i honestly just have lost hope of someone being able to understand me. and i'm a "normal" looking person who can do small talk with strangers so no one thinks i'm autism unless i tell them.
also, for some reason, all i wanted in my life is to be treated like a sex object. that, in my eyes, is the highest form of admiration or love. so i just can't understand it when people are annoyed at being treated like a sex object, or annoyed that they get hit on, etc.
>>28345165
Passive approach does not lessen similar occurrences.
>get in a feud with gypsies at school. I stab one in the fucking face
>they try to fight back. Im forced to stay paranoid and the school literaly gets under siege by their clan on a weekly basis
>start changing schools
>no social life
>always on the lookout. Got several conflicts with other people afterwards. Get a criminal record for stabbing some immigrant bully. Get lucky, no jail time. Meanwhile I dont know how to develop a relationship anymore
>life progresses, go to college
>slow grind for fucking 10 years to get a masters degree in ECE (hard as fuck). No taste for life whatsoever. No friends.
>every colleague of mine I hear about ends up as a fucking software consultant. No other possible careers. Realize my degree is horseshit. Finnishing thesis because its too late
>"pseudo-house arrest" regime, dont know anyone, dont know what a girl is
>almost 30
And im not giving up! So the fuck with society and all the "doomsday fags" (lol they wished...)
>>28345044
>>28345075
>>28345124
>roastie brags about being wanted even as a kid
>white knights flock to be her beta orbiters
/r9k/ is dead
>>28345174
>i swear i won't masturbate to your suffering.
I'm not sure I believe you. I just don't care what you do to it. I was pushed onto the floor with my underwear in my mouth and he just went at me in the missionary position. Lots of weird neck nibbling and trying to kiss me and calling me a whore and things like that. He came after a couple minutes, got dressed, and left.
>>28345180
I'm not sure what part of my post that's in response too or what you mean by it.
>>28344854
>>28344821
I can't imagine any fucker taller than 5'8 being on r9k now that I think about it. Your lives must suck so bad. It must be weird having enough autism to be here and still be tall enough to have to hunch over to see this fucking place. At least as a manlet I have enough reason to be here just from that.
>>28345192
I've easily been on /r9k/ far longer than you. Kneejerk reactions like that are one big factor of /r9k/'s decline. Not everything is segregated into "orbiting" and "non-orbiting" action. I couldn't care less about her gender; I want to see justice in some form.
>be like 9 years old
>sixth grade
>doing some group project in class
>suddenly get called to the principal's office
>prepare to receive my perfect attendance award
>no such luck
>some gigantic sheeboon said that I threatened to kill her or some stupid shit like that, even though I did no such thing, have never seen the girl in my entire life
>suspended for three months
>mom picks me up from school
>get screamed at all night because of how much it inconveniences my parents
>get back to school after two months of basically prison because my mom thought "tough love" means "torture your fucking kids by making them write sentences until their hands go numb then make them do push ups"
>get wall eyed by everyone
Not even the end of it
>School suggests I see their in-house counselor because my grades have dropped since then
>pour my heart out because I cant talk to anyone else at this point
>get suspended again because the school system isnt court and the burden of proof always lies with the defense, which is just the depressed kid and his two furious parents, who can't possibly fathom post-9/11 school when they grew up in a world where you could beat kids up and only get detention
>after that I couldn't put real effort into anything for fear of having it misinterpreted and suspended a third time, which would mean expulsion
And that's about it, a life ended before it even began.
I thenk I was messed its up from the start.
>>28345215
today was a rough day for me so you're safe from my fapping habits. it's just that what you described is situations i create in my head all the time to fap to, or the plot of the doujins i fap to, etc.
also i'll be honest about something else. I feel really guilty when i find stories like yours arousing, because it's just a wrong thing to do... but at the same time i'm jealous and angry that you got to experience that.
when i was 7, i stood in a unisex bathroom for about 30 minutes in a mall, waiting for a man to come in and rape me... but nothing happened, an old lady came in and momentarily told me to lock the door next time so i'm safe, and i was really disappointed and sad.
Just a series of events that weren't fun, made me hate people and interacting with people, and only desire one person in my life to love.
I became a shut in at like the age of 8. I only talked to people online and I just said "Fuck the 3d world.".
What REALLY ruined all my hope and determination was when the girl I dated for 5 years dumped me after a long line of abuse and other shit leaving me a ruined wreck that caused me to shut down and not do anything for 8 months let alone speak outside to myself in my head. I developed a stutter because of the under-use of my speaking voice, and learned how in reality most women are fucking skanks and even if I can prove to them I'm pretty good boyfriend matieral, they have 6 other side projects who are doing the same fucking thing as me and in reality whatever you try or put effort into to try to get love, it doesn't matter because it is inevitable unless you jump straight to the point and ask out a girl by the 5th conversation you have with them.
So you are left with either getting your already defeated soul crushed by failure after failure or just completely drop out of life and just accept you will always be alone unless you want to keep getting up after knock down after knock down with no one who has your back in the corner because that's just how dating works in the western world and I don't feel like having a 6 month fling to only realize it will fail because they aren't who they seemed like from the first 5 conversations.
>>28345308
It's not a particularly common thing. It would be weird if it did happen to you, I think. Exactly how did you get exposed to the idea of wanting to be raped at that age, though?
>>28345082
>>28345126
Cool that used to me as well until it was just too much and I snapped around 21 >>28340247
>handing out (you)s to roasties
>>28345342
logically speaking, i guess i'm also glad it didn't happen to me. i probably wouldn't have been able to stay in contact with the person that would have raped me, which would really make me sad. also, i hate casual sex and promiscuity, so i'm glad i wasn't a roastie.
and i figured out how to fap at age 5. also, my mom, like any other parent, tells me to stay away from sketchy looking strangers, don't stay out late, older men will grope little kids like you, etc. but at the same time she also called me ugly a lot and would say sometimes that being ugly isn't a bad thing, since you won't get raped by pedos... I guess i made sense of it like getting raped = you're not ugly. no one wants to be ugly, so being raped would prove that i'm not ugly.
>>28345406
Oh, I see. I was wondering if maybe you'd picked it up from, you know, being molested or something. I'm glad my mom was always nice to me, if a little smothering sometimes.
>>28345441
if i was molested, i wouldn't have been complaining about not being molested in the first place. lol
now i just pay a friend of mine (who i actually like a lot) to roleplay situations with me so at least i can pretend to be a cute loli getting molested.
>>28345441
I was molested by my dad but I'm pretty damn close to asexual. It's awful.
>>28345476
Well, maybe it was like wanting to recreate it or something. Your setup sounds alright, though.
>>28345481
I knew a girl growing up who was molested and she was ridiculously aggressive, sexually. She eventually got caught sneaking off the school grounds with a boy at age 6 or so, and trying to get him inside her.
>>28345520
>>28345481 (You) #
I knew a girl growing up who was molested and she was ridiculously aggressive, sexually. She eventually got caught sneaking off the school grounds with a boy at age 6 or so, and trying to get him inside her.
I was molested over the course of 4 years. I mean, sex feels nice but it takes a lot of work for me to be comfortable with it. I've only had sex with 2 other people other than my dad.
I'm a guy btw.
>>28345592
Well, some people withdraw into themselves, and some get hypersexual over it. Me, I never willlingly slept with anyone, or kissed anyone, or anything. I barely even spoke for a long time after.
No one traumatic event really just lack of any real stable home life or family. Too much solitude from early on. Then later, too much internet. Sexual confusion caused by too much internet.
Must be a lot easier to be healthy for people who were raised in a nice house with siblings, extended family, and loving, non-divorced parents who have their lives together and take an active role in being interested and guiding their children.
>>28345520
>>28345592
Man. i really hate to be the type of guy that complains about their bf/gf. But the friend that I'm paying to basically have sex with me, the way he shows affection is very... non-sexual? he'll snuggle with me or just be comfy with me but goddamn, sometimes i just want to be forced into having sex with him without basically paying him and telling him to act out that character for me. because that kills part of the fantasy too.
>>28344854
>Did you succeed?
No. I remember thinking I would try to snap her neck. I'd spend ages trying to get my hands in position without waking her. Then I'd try for what seemed like hours to do it but I couldn't. I was always afraid I'd just paralise her or something.
Then I thought I'd smother her with a pillow. Same shit. I'd hover for hours thinking "do it on 3. 1... 2..." then I couldn't do it.
I'd wake up every day tired from staying up trying to kill my gf.
It was a very hard time.
>>28345635
It's not affection that you get when you're raped. It's lust. Selfish hateful lust. It hurts a lot.
>>28345635
I can see how it would, I guess. When I'm working myself, I get pretty immersed in whatever fantasy I'm going for, to the point I bought some nice headphones just to use while masturbating, and sometimes I dress up and things like that.
>>28345664
That's what I'm into tho. I don't like normal affection, it just doesn't feel right. I don't have any false ideas of what rape is. I'm just so fucked up that I honestly just don't understand, and can't take in regular affection.
>>28345687
I admire you dude. But where do you find any form of porn with good sound so that you can even use your headphones?
>>28345723
Most of the sound is lousy, but I get focused enough on the fantasy that it's not that big a deal. It's like when I was a kid and I got so into a game, even an old one with pixel graphics and such, that it seemed so much more vivid in my mind, I guess. The headphones are mostly for noise cancelling.
When I was about 13 years old I sat down in front of my mother and started listing all the ways I could kill myself; drowning, pills, fire, gun. I stopped when she left the room crying. I am still not sure why I did that.
this polish girl who lived near me kicked me in the balls really hard for no reason in middle school i think, that's probably at least partly why i've badly fucked up every single time a girl made some kind of first move on me. i actually had one girlfriend that i never even spoke to as my girlfriend before my dad had to move for work... i so badly wish we never had to move...
>>28345609
Don't suppose you'd be willing to swap contact info? We seem to be in common in our misfortune and I just want to see how alike we are.
I was extremely withdrawn.
>>28345787
We could if you wanted, but I would probably not respond often.
>>28344974
What're your fetishes?
>>28345803
my kik is Notredd, if you don't have that then I'll throw an email at you
>Parents get divorced when I'm around age 6
>Live with mother
>Beats me, drinks likes a fish, drunk driving with me in the car constantly
>She attempts to kill me twice, thinking back I'm surprised I'm alive
>Move in with dad about a year later after I tell a social worker my mother was doing hard drugs
>After about a year of living happily I get hit by a car and fall into a coma
>Wake up around a week later
I don't remember how long the recovery was but eventually I get back into school
>Everyone is telling me I'm acting differently after my accident and quickly lose all my friends
>Be without friends from this point forward
>Fall in love with a girl in middle school
>Have to move away the next school year and never see her again
>Dad dies when I'm 17, leaving me to take care of his widow and my new two younger brothers
>Hear that my mother died about 6 months after my dad
Life
I don't know what moment it was but I now react to being touched intimately or even casually with disgust and shaking, I find myself unable to engage socially without thinking about conversation flow and other things like a riddle to be solved and I can't be open emotionally with others without a lot of trying on my part
>>28344936
I didn't want to cry in this thread, but now I'm crying
>>28344936
pls be my gf
bloxbloxblxolbxolbxoblxoblxbolxbolxb
Isolating myself in my room for years and never dating in my teens.
>>28345936
I'd hug you, if I could.
>sheltered, impoverished childhood. cannot afford to do anything, nor allowed to. no social life.
>always babysitting so I can afford nice things because mom was poor, no social life
>have to raise myself and my brother because mom is absent, no social life
>social life finally blooming, but fake friends
rob house when I pass out after birthday party, last of my trust destroyed
>after having enough, freak out in school. destroy relationship with only woman who could have ever loved me. no social life.
now i'm a meek, bitter, socially inept coward
>>28338313
not,you are not alone
>>28338939
anon kun,you describe my life.
>>28338001
I'm a vorarephile.
Enough said.
>>28347154
If you were a faggot I'd let you fuck me in the ass out of pity, and I'm not even gay. Trust issues are a bitch.
What are you doing with your life now? I-I hope things are going okay for you ;_;
>>28338499
hey hakkk
>>28338001
>10 years old
>come back from month long trip to my grandmas
>house is cleaned out and my father is missing
>''oh btw we got a divorce while you where gone''
>completely flunk the next school year because I cant stop thinking about the divorce, become a class clown to cope with the F's
>move to the other side of town during the summer completely leaving the town, friends and teachers I've known for the last 6 years of my life
>start 7th grade as the new kid, get ridiculed and humiliated daily
>instead of exploring my new neighborhood or hanging out with any kids after school I'm forced to spend all of my free time taking care of my little brother at home because my mom is too poor to afford a daycare or babysitter for him
>shitty school and home life causes me to resent it all
>begin acting out for whatever attention I can get at school while at the same time becoming more and more reclusive
>be high school
>have a group of friends that has like 10 people
>my main group of friends has four people
>3/4 of them absolutely despise me for no reason
>might be because of my shit personality
>said on multiple occasions "we will never sit by you if we have to"
>sit by them because the teacher puts us in assigned seats and we were "good" so we got to sit by each other
>those guys and a few other kids find out i'm an atheist in social studies class
>start fucking with me for a week straight
>one day, kid fucks with me
>punch him in the face with all my strength
>kid goes to nurses office
>dick "friends" say i was a violent person and that they were afraid of me
>kid i punched was 5'2", i was 6'2", so white knights got so hard over it
>everyone in school wants to kill me for being an atheist and kicking a manlet's ass
>school district kicked me out of school permanently because "le problem child"
>neet ever since
Remember, standing up for yourself will get you fucked apparently.
>>28348071
Where do you live that being an atheist is such a huge deal?
>>28348109
Kentucky in 2006. In the mountains. Christian degenerates. Literally, they are degenerate. Most people here are manlets from malnutrition and such and are inbred for generations, so a lot of them can't even think about things.
>>28347873
Yes, they are. Which is why I'm not sure if your post is sincere or not. Nothing personal.
Makes me smile, regardless.
>>28344936
>implying you can't still find a nice guy to cuddle with you
Fuck off whore, girl cannot be robots.
Probably a lot of things, but one thing in particular comes to mind
>be about 11-12
>older brother just had a mental breakdown, is in institution
>be a mild fuck up myself, never really got good grades, always in trouble, no real friends
>Mom is running errands with grandma and me
>We're on the road, me in the back seat
>Mom starts crying, saying she's lost my brother
>My grandmother assures her, telling her she still has my older sister and me
>"No, Anon is a fuck up too. Anon is lost too."
Her words might have been different, but the meaning was loud and clear. I gave up for a very long time after that.
>>28338001
>too beta/smart to bang before I hit puberty
let's be honest. it's the former.
>>28338116
*unsheathes katana*
You got a problem, punk?
*teleports away and throws up forcefield as you scramble like an ant*
>>28344335
Fucking everyone wants to get back at their bullies, idiot
>>28338001
A lot of things and events.
Though I will share one event that's been stuck in my head these few days.
>Fucking years ago
>babysitting my cousin at my uncle's house
>cousin playing outside
>it was getting late so I call cousin over
>He doesn't listen which led to me chasing him
>While chasing him, didn't notice a grass pit and fell
>I will never forget that crunch
>OhGodthepain.jpg
>Cousin stops and realizes the situation and goes to me to help
>try to stand but theres only searing pain
>Uncle's partner comes home, sees the situation
>tell him what happened
>"Can you stand?"
> No, I think I broke my ankle, can you bring the car over?( I was near the street)
>Can you try walking to the house?
>I fell in the back road behind my uncle's house, it was a good 20-30ft to the house and I couldn't make that walk
>Try to explain that I can't fucking do that and hopping would only lead to another injury as I was a pudgy kid
>he begrudgingly brings the car
>He takes me home, only to park across the street to my house
>whatisthisfaggotdoing?
cont.
>sexual abuse by sister
>alcoholic father
>verbally and emotionally abusive mother
>bullied from 12-17
>daily beatings
>>28338939
This describes many a man's life.
I hope not to get to the second stage .
Since I will be living one year as a NEET and then go to college . cause I will certainly not pass my exams.
I plan on becoming a functioning (somewhat) person.
But I doubt anything would go according to keikaku .it never really does
>>28345265
why didn't you kill her?
in for a penny, in for a pound my man
>>28348564
>I was both confused and angry
>with every slight nudge to my ankle, I felt tremendous pain and this literal faggot wants me to cross the street
>See my dad comes out
>oh good, someone with common sense
>Tell what happened
>"okay, can you stand on it?"
>"No, I can't"
>"Anon, you stand on it and come"
>whatthefuckisgoingon.exe
>actually argue with him that I can't and try to call my brothers for help
>Dad is actually pissed at me that I can't stand on and come over
>I can't deal with this shit so to appease him I try to walk to him
>the moment I place my foot, horrible pain emerges and I almost fell if I didn't hold on to the car
>Brothers finally help me over
>had to wait 3 days to go to the hospital since family believed I had a sprained ankle
>finally go to hospital, Dad takes me
>he actually helps me out of the car and into the hospital
>things are looking up
>until we enter the lobby
>"Anon, continue by yourself"
>what.jpg
>Argue with him again, that I can't stand on my fucking ankle, which is now very visibly bruised
>I actually end up trying to fucking hop from the lobby to the orthopedic.
>There are no rails, just smooth walls
>hop like a drunken wallaby
>fall in the middle of a corridor and Dad just observes me with a sight of shame
>he doesn't help me
>luckily a nurse saw my kangaroo charade and helped me to the orthopedic
To this day, I still can't understand my father's actions especially how he just looked at me with shame. Did wonders for my self esteem.
>>28338076
It's probably a reedit response anon.
>People are actually serious with the whole 'women can't be robots' thing.
Jesus, you people are disgusting. No fucking wonder nobody likes you
>>28340292
Sex is less than 1% of your life.
There's more to lovemaking than penis size.
There sure must have been more to fuck you up .
eOf course that's coming from a regular size guy
>>28348526
I want them to be surprised at my growth as a person.the fact that little idiot unwashed manlet piece of shit that got bullied and was in fact a total idiot faggot.
Became a respectable person and a functioning member of society.
That is what I want
My parents fought every day, all the time. I was a very nice and sweet normie kid but having my drunk father come home and yell and hit my mom really affected me. Then my mother would drink until she passed out and then my dad would carry her to the bedroom where he fucked her while she screamed. This was a daily thing for years, decades even.
I focused on playing video games to escape and forget about that shit. My father would call me a piece of shit every day. I would play on sports teams and the one or two times he went to go see a game, he told me I sucked and was a piece of shit. Really killed me.
Then what sealed the deal for me turning into a robot is when I found my dad's porn stash in 4th grade. I used to masturbate to it all the time but the problem is that it completely changed my entire outlook at women and girls. I put them on such a huge pedestal and was scared of them. Any attention I got from a girl fucked me up.
On top of all that, I wasn't allowed to really have friends because I wasn't allowed to leave the house after school so I never really formed relationships, so now I'm a friendless, khv at 26. Never did any of the normal social things. And what really changed my outlook on life was when I came home after my first day of high school. Three cop cars at my house, turned out my dad stabbed my mom and he got arrested.
I'm not even really ugly, just overweight and shy as fuck.
>>28341328
You'll make it anon. Life is long and funny.
>>28338939
this is where im going to end up
help
>Hang out with girl in kindergarden
>Start at school when im 13
>Prettiest girl in school is 15
>Fall in love
>Whatever, she is just another girl
>Fing out she is the girl form kindergarden
>One-itis hard
>She is older than me so she doesn't want me
>Still fucked up to this day
>Paranoid Schizofrenia
>Lost my hair from stress
>Nightmares feel bad
>Good dreams about her I can feel myself crying beyond the dream
>She has had the same bf for years
>One day they will have children together
>I've felt like this for more than 10years
>I'll probably take this with me to the grave
>Hoping I'll die a little sooner
Circumcisiontrauma
>>28350756
You didn't get paranoid schizophrenia from being lovestoned, people who get it get it anyways, sooner or later.
>>28348283
KEK
women logic
>Son hanging from a branch outside of a cliff
>Mom standing a some feet away with secure footing
>"Mom, could you lift me up?"
>"OH POOR ME, MY SON IS GONNA DIE, SOMEONE PLEASE COMFORT ME, I NEED HELP, THIS IS THE WORST I'VE FELT ALL MY LIFE!"
>>28338001
Your life was over before you left elementary school? Damn son
>>28341328
life is really tough on you, but you got to fucking make it man. don't give up, find a job, hold on to it and survive, be stronger than everyone else.
>>28338001
>oneitis invited me to her birthday party
>i said no
>she stopped talking to me
>>28338001
>too beta/smart to bang before I hit puberty
>too beta/smart
>smart
There are 0 risks at fucking a child before it hit puberty.
>>28341176
Read mugger as nigger....
>>28347998
did you gradually discover you wanted attention at that point of time as you grew older?
>>28351068
>>I said no
what?
>>28348824
your dad's a piece of shit that's what.
>>28351155
It was a pool party and it was only her closest friends. She also had a boyfriend. I was overweight so I was too shy to go so I said no. We had only been talking online for a couple of months and nobody else really knew we were friends so I was worried about people thinking "what the fuck is this guy doing here", especially her boyfriend who could have kicked my ass.
It's my biggest regret, save for going to uni.
>>28349105
if you have enough self-esteem to know you aren't ugly. you better lose that fucking weight and work out, no one is going to believe you are attractive. When you leave the house, you are a fat piece of shit, you either change yourself or you let others deem you the way as you are, unattractive. The moment you say you are too lazy for that, you lost sight of becoming attractive. Shy men still get pussy, you just need to be attractive.
the fact that your dad got arrested, means you are now the man of your house. get out and work, and bring the cash home. tell your mom you're gonna take care of her. Get your shit together, hold onto to any fucking job and scrim and save. when your dad comes back, whoop his ass.
>>28338116
>>28338193
>>28338222
>>28338276
Your fucking posts are as reddit as it gets. Posting references like that is actually a reddit thing. That being said, fuck off to reddit
I've had 2 girlfriends and they both died within the year
>>28338001
>>28338047
>>28338076
>>28338116
>>28338204
>>28338222
>>28338276
>>28338313
>>28338320
based, I feel like this should be a meme
>>28351200
>>28351068
you did the right thing anon
have no regret
I know "trauma" is something that gets thrown around a lot, but honestly, a lot of trauma.
>mom got very sick when I was born and was never the same after that; for all intents and purposes died, is in prison now and I'm supposedly all that's left of who she was
>evil stepmom who was physically, emotionally, financially, and all-around abusive towards everybody, who constantly barricaded herself in her room and got high, only emerging to scream at us, violent and dangerously unstable fucking person
>stepmom flat-out hated men on some level because of something that must have happened to her and basically guilt-tripped me for being a guy once I hit puberty; constant flood of lifetime movies and shitty comments
>dad beat the living shit out of me for the slightest stuff and threatened worse, permanent bodily harm multiple times, only stopping when he finally hit me too hard one day, on top of the crazy psychological abuse and constantly working and being gone
>stepmom used to be able to sic dad on me out of pure spite
>was in danger of being kidnapped as a toddler, pretty much never had a constant home, raised by mom and dad, then grandparents with visits from mom and dad, then stepmom and dad, then just my stepmom, then my stepmom and her sister with dad working, before finally reaching the point of near-complete independence in high school where I was working and paying for my own food, gas, insurance, clothing, toiletries, etc. on top of taking care of my sisters and driving them around and all my stepmom contributed as a parent was punishment
>ran away from home at that point, lived on my own as a minor until graduation because grandparents were kind enough to pay the utilities on the house, stalked and harassed by stepmom for a period after that following the time I busted my sister out of her house and invited her to live with me
>saw two sets of parents divorced before I was 18
>being literally autistic
>>28345847
bdsm why?
>>28354350
Also
>girlfriend of 4 years decided to cheat on me while I was out of state taking care of a dying uncle
>uncle actually died shortly after the breakup, which itself occurred after I dropped out of freshman year at college
>pretty stepmom has actually attempted to murder me at least twice
>moved like 13 times growing up
>held to an obscenely high standard
>saw a lot of illness and death and sex and drugs in general growing up, honestly more as a kid than a lot of people can say they've experienced by the time they're middle-aged
>literally wounded a lot in general, fucking covered in scars
>inherited the smoking habit
>in a fire, in multiple car wrecks, should've drowned multiple times, should've died of electrocution multiple times, should've been crushed or bled to death multiple times, come pretty close to being shot three times and blown up twice, bitten, punctured, punched, kicked, throttled, thrown, stabbed, slashed, scraped, split open, burned, scalded, should've OD'd a lot of times
>generally paranoid and more inclined to smoke because of the stress of the rest of it
>fucking night terrors and sleep paralysis
>fucking misophonia
Seriously, either I picked Nightmare mode or I'm really bad at this.
>>28354552
*pretty sure stepmom
Fuck.
>>28351318
I didn't know we were referencing anything.
