How can I not look like a complete fool my first time having sex?
Just say that you are a virgin. If she laughs, slap her.
No but honestly, just tell her it's your first time.
Tell her how much you learned about sex from 4chan. That'll impress her.
By practicing on landwhales first. They have low standards.
>>28251378
Go straight for the pooper
>>28251430
>Just say that you are a virgin.
http://www.xojane.com/it-happened-to-me/it-happened-to-me-i-ended-up-in-bed-with-a-27-year-old-virgin
>>28251480
>They have low standards
No shit dumbass that's because they are the low standard
>>28251480
seriously been doing this actually last one was a single mom i paid a hundred dollars, made her cum like 6 times so I think I can leave the minor leagues now and move on to grills in the 5-6 range.
Normie life
Normie problems
Enjoy failing and her making fun of you when talking to her friends and Chad.
>>28251378
You probably look like a fool all the time anyway just go with it
>>28251533
>You probably look like a fool all the time anyway
Well that was quite rude.
>>28251558
Yeah, I suppose it was.
>>28251516
>a slut tells a virgin that he shouldn't waste his time with her
What's so bad about this?
tell her to ride you
just avoid it forever, that's my plan
>>28251519
Goes without saying obviously.
you are asking this question in the worst place you could possibly ask this
>>28251727
But on most communities most people have had sex at an age where it was acceptable for them to suck.
meh dont worry about it anon, sex is actually very natural.
it will feel a bit awkward at first because you will be overthinking and stuff but it will be fine.
also as others said just tell her that youre a virgin its the best solution
>>28251378
You should have been wondering about that when you was 16yo.
>>28251784
>also as others said just tell her that youre a virgin its the best solution
This is idiotic advice that does not help you at all. If you suck, it's better to have her think it was just bad sex than for it to have been because it was your first time. Even if she SUSPECTS it she has no way of verifying it.
>>28251809
right because her thinking that youre actually bad at sex is somehow better than her thinking that you will improve?
>you'll never lose your virginity to another virgin at age 16 where it's 100000% okay that it's awkward
FUCK
U
C
K
There's no winning at this point. Either you say you're a virgin and she straight up drops you like in >>28251516 or you don't tell her, she thinks you're fucking awful at sex, and you don't get another chance with her at all.
>>28251530
>Having to pay a hamplanet single mum for sex
>Being hot enough to pull 5+/10 girls
Pick one.
>>28251857
I aint a broke nigga she needed money I didnt have to do anything I choose to better than giving the money to a prostitute which yes would have been more fun admittedly but at least theres some chance this girl uses the money on diapers and not codiene
>>28251822
Women don't like inexperienced guys. The possibility of improvement will not lessen the blow.
A woman is more likely to stick with you if she thinks the sex was just bad the first time if she really likes you otherwise. At least then she can rationalize it as sucking because you guys hadn't built a strong enough emotional connection yet (which is more important for women in the first place).
Besides, the 'virgins always suck at sex" saying is a meme. Sex isn't hard. Touch her vagina until it moistens and then rhythmically penetrate her. And don't attempt porn shit.
>>28251965
no there is more to sex than that. i guess the first time i had sex it was with a nice girl and ofc she knew i was a virgin so she helped me out. it depends what kind of girl youre doing it with i guess
>>28251998
>no there is more to sex than that.
No, there's not bro. You're overcomplicating things.
>>28252018
just sticking it and pumping for a few mins wont do much to her, especially if shes the kind who likes clit being stimulated instead of vaginal or both
foreplay is very important too if you gonna rub her for 20 secs and then pump for 3 mins you think shes gonna think that it was great sex? no she wont
>>28252018
says the virgin to the nonvirgin
>>28251516
Christ, this is painful to read. So when she found out the dude is a virgin she decided to treat him like a girl would like to be treated if she was in that position ("This isnt gonna lead up to a relationship so it would be better to you to not have sex so your feelings dont get hurt" ??) What?? The dude should have legit pressed her head down on the pillow and just forced himself on her. I can feel the earth moving and its because his ancestors are rolling in their graves
>>28252050
>actually caring about her pleasure
Come on bro.
Virgin here
Don't listen to these normalfags
LIE LIE LIE LIE LIE LIE
If you have any intention of getting laid and you are over the age of say, 19. Lie about it. Tell her you had at least one gf who took your virginity at an acceptable age like 16.
Back when I used to get chances I never lied because I thought it was pathetic and that eventually I would find a girl who is ok with a virgin male. Well, they don't exist. At least not in the western world. Even religious virgin girls lost interest when I told them, and its not like I was making a big deal out of it.
Now I'm 26 and all of my chances have been exhausted so I'm on the wizardly path.
My plan is to say I have to get used to her specifically until we are comfortable together.
I lie about it but its annoying how almost every girl inquires on past relationships and the number of sex partners.
fuck an onahole to get a feel for what fucking things is like first
i dont mean using it to jerk off, i mean put it on the bed and lay on ur belly and fuck it
if you are bisexual just say "o-oh ive never had sex with a cisgirl before" which imples you've fucked transgirls or guys which would make the girl feel special and not think ur a loser
Yeah, lie. Sluts will bail on virgins.
My first time I told the truth and got a blowjob instead of sex because she was "worried about my feelings" but I didn't used to be able to come from blowjobs so it was a bit awkward.
Long story short. Luckily had sex the next with her, lasted like 20 seconds and now she's my wife...
Yeah, Im that guy...
>>28251378
Alright, faggot, shut the fuck up and listen up.
And listen to me, so you don't end up looking like a retard.
The very first thing you're going to need to do is watch her body language and shit to find out what she enjoys.
Now, you're going to need some motherfucking foreplay. Go for the neck. I've yet to meet a woman who didn't like being kissed on the neck. Kiss up and down, slowly, the side bit beneath the ear. Don't slobber. Bite/suck if you're feeling adventurous, but gently. Nobody likes hickies.
Nipples: Some women enjoy having their nipples played with, some don't. Find out with a precursory expedition there, but my advice is don't put too much focus on it. Spend a few seconds playing with them while kissing down their bodies from their neck.
Clit play: So, this is a hard one. Women tend to like different things here. Do you know where the clit is? If not, reach to the top of the vagina, and feel down. It's going to be above the entrypoint, and it's like a little nodule of muscle with a hood thing above it. Rub it through that hood (it's pretty sensitive, so too much direct contact with it will eventually be sore). Use one or two fingers, and try and get a rhythmic, slightly circular motion. Start gently and slowly, and then build up, and try and keep going. You'll have a better than average chance of making any girl cum like this, and that should be one of your goals.
Going down on a girl: Rhythmic licking of the clit. Try and use a bit of pressure behind your tongue, but like with the fingers, building that up is the best technique. Your mouth quite probably will end up getting tired, though. If she's ever discussed anal, or is into anal, a good addition to the team is to gently rub her ass with your fingers: no penetration. The ass has a lot of nerves that promote pleasure when stimulated. Again, keep at this.
Actual penetrative sex: HERE WE GO FELLERS, IN PART 2.
>>28252620
is that tobuscus?
>>28252620
PART 2
Penetrative sex:
A good portion of women, possibly even the majority, don't get off from penetrative sex. Bear that in mind; this is why foreplay is an important part of sex, and why you really should learn to use your fingers. It's not actually about the usual retardation spewed here like cock size; it's more about the shape of their body and sensitivity of their vagina and so on.
But anyway. Start with missionary. It's the easiest position to achieve actual penetration in because it gives you a good view. Make sure she's wet enough first, because otherwise it won't be good for her. You're going to, again, want to start slow. Arguably, don't ever get too hard. I've accidentally hit a girl's cervix hard, and she was in pain for a while afterwards. It's not porn; you don't need to pound away. The trick is, again, a rhythm. You want to build it up and sustain it.
Because this is your first time, I'd aim for just lasting around 15-20 minutes, but don't consciously think about it. Just slow down when you think you're going to cum. If you cum before, it's not a giant deal, so don't worry; I've had a couple of girls worry because I DIDN'T cum for a while during sex, they stopped me and asked me if they were doing something wrong.
Next time, once the shock and joy of sex has worn off, you can look at increasing that time frame.
Other positions (fuck if I'm going to look up all the names):
Doggy style is actually a lot more awkward than it looks in pain depending on the proportional difference in size between partners. I don't recommend it, but then I like tall girls.
Her lying on her stomach: A few girls I've met seem to enjoy this, so I do recommend it. Plus you can add in some spanking, if you've already talked about foreplay.
Cowboy/reverse cowboy: This shit is great because you're not even doing any work. Just be warned, make sure she doesn't get carried away and go too fast. Your cock may slip out and/or get bent into a painful position.
>>28252664
>tobuscus
I'm not even sure what that is, but probably not. That image has been around for years.
>>28252238
>if you are bisexual just say "o-oh ive never had sex with a cisgirl before" which imples you've fucked transgirls or guys which would make the girl feel special and not think ur a loser
>which would make the girl feel special and not think ur a loser
the fuck am i reading
>>28252772
PART THE THIRD
Miscellaneous tips:
Her: Ask her before all this starts if there's anything she likes, or if she has any kinks. Bring them into it, even if it's just going to be something like holding her wrists down for a bit if she says she likes being tied up or whatever. This opens the door for more experimental stuff for you later, too. 50 Shades opened a whole generation of women up to more kinky shit, so take advantage of it.
Feedback: Again, pay attention to her body and how she's responding. If she starts talking like someone in porn or making retarded sounds, ignore that. And for the love of fuck, don't do that yourself.
Telling her you're a virgin: My vote goes to yes, but potentially wait until after the whole thing is over.
Post-coital shit: Cuddle, yo. Have a smoke. Post-sex is a vulnerable place for people emotionally, so lie there with her. Talk to her, but don't get too serious about anything.
Doing anything you've seen in porn: Don't. You'll either break your dick, hurt her, or look like some kind of gibbering retard.
If anyone else has any questions, feel free to shoot.
>>28252878
Oh, actually.
Don't be afraid to talk to her and find out what works. Good communication is key in relationships, and it's key in sex. Normally, the very first time you fuck will be great, because endorphins and shit, but you need to build an actual emotional connection and explore what you're each into, otherwise sex becomes stale over time.
If you do decide to play with some more kinky shit, let me offer you words of advice:
Handcuffs are a fucking terrible idea. They're just going to chafe the fuck out of her wrists. Go online and pay for some actual bondage rope. Don't buy shit from a DIY store, because again, that'll just end up tearing the skin off her wrists.
If you're looking at toys, look into investing in one of those Hitachi magic wands. Those things are fucking amazing. Explore positions where she can stimulate herself while you guys fuck. Again, penetrative sex doesn't always work for a lot of women, so these things, these gifts from god, can get her off during, too.
Anal: Get some good quality lube, and use it liberally; on your dick, and on her ass. Foreplay is also essential here: aim to get three fingers in, and do it slowly, building up so you don't hurt her, before you think about sticking your dick in. When you do stick your dick in, you may need to add more lube again, and also, when fucking, go slow for at least the first five minutes. Sascha Grey (I think) has a video about jury-rigging an enema somewhere, if you're worried about mess. Your first time should be on top of a towel. If mess does happen, stop, let her know, invite her into the shower with you, and tell her it's okay and that it happens. Make it as un-awkard as possible.
>>28251965
>Sex isn't hard. Touch her vagina until it moistens and then rhythmically penetrate her. And don't attempt porn shit.
>>28252620
>>28252772
>>28252878
Th-thanks, lads.
My vote goes to no. At least that's what happened to me. I was a kissless virgin and told to the grill I was making out with and afterwards she freaked and proceeded to avoid me like hell. I guess if you bluff well enough, she won't care for the immediate future. You can tell her after a few times and after having established some form of a meaningful relationship with her.
>Because this is your first time, I'd aim for just lasting around 15-20 minutes
>first time
>20 minutes
Don't you mean 15-20 seconds?
>>28253036
Yeah, mine was about 20 seconds but she'd been sucking my dick for like 20 minutes. Didn't used to be able to come from blow jobs.
>>28253036
I've gotta be honest here: is this actually what happens? Do some people genuinely cum within a minute?
>>28253099
Thanks for clarifying that. Anxiety over failure to last 20 min at your first time would be pointless and plain wrong.
>>28253036
>>28253036
wait what?
we're supposed to last 15-20 minutes?
first time?
this shit sounds like straight up chad info,can anyone actually verify this?
>>28253305
The guy who wrote that here:
You're not "supposed to". I said aim for it. If you can't, that's fine, but don't just consciously flop around a bit and cum within two minutes.
