I've been trying to become more social. When I talk to people I try to be nice. I always ask follow up questions and try my hardest to keep conversations going but they always fall flat. People end up ignoring me or give me short responses. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. How do normies as socialize? I've looked online for guides, ice breakers, conversation topics too but it doesn't work. Is there something I'm missing?
>>27832480
I have no clue, same thing happens to me. Everyone would rather give me the cold shoulder or treat me like shit, instead of actually wanting anything to do with me.
>>27832480
>>27832507
You might be ugly.
We are just boring, my man. This is what happens when we end up being anti social and our socializing is done on a Chinese cartoon drawing board.
Mostly talk bad about other people, desu senpai.
Also, if you can get them talking about themselves, you won't be able to get them to shut up.
>>27832480
Do you come off visibly uncomfortable? Like you have no clue what your doing? This tends to be pretty off putting to most people.
Also contribute, don't just encourage them to. If they tell a story, tell a similar story from your life. If they bring up an opinion share yours, and so on.
>>27832563
>>27832589
Normies, you know where top ge, reeee.
>>27832526
>tfw i am ugly
>>27832638
>tfw I'm so ugly everyone thinks I'm actually retarded
Can't go out in public without people staring, laughing, and shouting out obscenities at me.
>>27832664
>tfw they'd rather talk to mac handsome just because of his looks over us
and they wonder why i hate everyone
>>27832638
It's okay Anon. You can take some measure to help. Make sure you shower and wear deodorant every day. Find a cologne that works for you. Get some nicer clothes and make sure you iron them before you leave the house.
>>27832689
a pig with makeup is still a pig
>>27832699
Would you rather talk to an ugly pig or an ugly pig that looks slightly better?
>>27832480
Sample conversation going no-where would help identify the problem. Without context or a sample it's pretty much impossible to tell where you might be going wrong.
>>27832721
I'd rather talk to none since they are still pigs this is the mindset normies have especially women
>>27832721
>Implying normies care
Protip: they're behavior around you won't change one fucking bit.
If you get good at asking people questions about themselves without seeming too interrogative, you can have "conversations" that are just them talking nonstop. Works especially well with women. They won't even notice you barely said anything and will even remember you as a good conversationalist afterwards.
Another strategy that works on most people is to repeat what they said back to them in different phrasing. When you do it well, they'll feel as if you really understand them and they made a real connection with you, even though all they really did is talk to a mirror of themselves.
Being good at superficial social interaction is just knowing a few simple tricks like the above. The only problem is that once you know them you start noticing them everywhere and it makes all human interaction feel like empty bullshit.
>>27832751
this i already tried all that
we are still ugly and they still think of us as inferior
>>27832678
I lost any sympathy for people a long time ago because of it. Now I actually enjoy seeing those fuckers getting their shit handed to them.
>>27832759
>>27832589
>>27832563
look at the normis coming out fuck off
>>27832589
I do this but still get the same results but you might be right about the first part. How do i fix my body language?
>>27832771
I'm not a normie I'm a huge autist, I'm posting advice on how to pretend to be a normie when you have to.
>>27832759
>repeat what they said back to them in different phrasing
This was the greatest piece of conversational advice I've ever gotten. Not only do they think you've made a personal connection, but they're almost always willing to bend over backwards for someone who agrees with them on a subject.
>>27832808
>huge autist
>le look at me know everything about talking to women and other normies
fuck off
>>27832759
Why should i even bother trying now? it seems everything is a fucking waste since people are so fucking shallow it's unbelievable. People will only talk to you when they want something.
>>27832563
>Mostly talk bad about other people, desu senpai.
Pretty much
What gets me about every fucking autistic who tries to be nice is that they seem so fucking one dimensional, yanno? Oh, you're being nice, that's how you decide to act... wow, great, real engaging
Bitches are popular for a reason
Shit talk other people and that makes the folks you're talking to feel more important because you're placing them above those other people. Or better yet, just come off like the kind of person that looks down on most people but listen to whoever your talking with like they're a fucking god, it's a framing device that works
>>27832771
>implying I've left the house more than a dozen times in the last five years
Just because I know how to socialize doesn't mean I ever use those skills. We all don't get to be so blissfully unaware.
>>27832759
Can you give me like an example for this strategy?
>>27832816
I only learned this stuff after trial and error and a lot of failures due to being an autist. Normies know this stuff intuitively, I had to learn it.
>>27832863
How do you feel about Donald Trump, Anon?
>>27832480
maybe you seem needy
ever had someone who kept trying to talk to you? it's annoying
>>27832838
How do people enjoy talking bad about others? i would feel bad to talk about someone behind his back regardless of who it is. Especially if i know that person in the real world. I have only ever had one instance at work of someone else talking about a coworker who reminded me of myself and was quiet and switched on. Ended up telling the old guy i was with in the truck to shut his fucking gob.
Old man didn't talk to me the entire shift afterwards.
>>27832891
>kept trying to talk to you
That's not what's happening you retarded normie.
Just lie a lot about doing cool things
>at work
>tell them how I dont care about my job
>tell them about the drugs I do
>make up stories that supposedly happen at social gatherings
>they think im cool
Then I come home and play video games and fap to tranny porn
>>27832914
>trying my hardest to keep conversations going
>they give short responses
>keep trying anyways
really? it sure sounds like it
>>27832885
I'm not really in favor of him but I do think out of all the current candidates he's the best. I'm probably going to end up voting for him i guess.
>>27832937
good 4 you now stop bothering me you creep
>>27832899
>How do people enjoy talking bad about others?
By not being a little bitch who thinks he's so high and mighty
>>27832891
Yea i have but i still enjoyed their company since I don't have many friends.
>>27832664
people shout obscenities at you for being ugly? KEK
>>27832936
No one is saying they're doing that. It's trying to initiate conversation and immediately getting told to gtfo. Now how about you fuck off.
>>27832937
Yeah, I've never really trusted politicians. Trump is different for sure and I think that's why he has a lot of support.
>>27832958
You don't have to be feeling high and mighty to not be an absolute cunt who needs to back-stab others. I'd rather remain friendless then give others shit. I bet many people on this board were victims of such things.
Get back to me when you're off the rags,
>>27832899
>How do people enjoy talking bad about others?
Either they're a normie and you should be able to hate them or they're a robot like you and you should be able to hate them. Unless you're telling me you don't hate yourself, in which case geez iunno keep being a goody two shoes you blessed cunt
>>27832781
It's more about how you present yourself. Hunched forward, looking down or to the side, tripping over words, lots of "umms", quite voice, etc.
Project yourself. Stand up straight, speak loudly enough that your projecting your voice without being overbearing. Also, roll with whatever your saying like your completely comfortable. I (and just about everyone else) lie pretty often just because it flows better than trying to think of the truth or fumble over the right way to say it.
>>27832986
Do you enjoy acting like a women? You god damn little poofter.
>>27832480
eye contact is the key to building trust. people give you shit for conversation because they do not trust you, and therefore cannot respect you.
>>27832999
>It's just your posture!
Wow. Just when I thought there couldn't be any worse """""advice""""" then >b-yrself XD you prove me wrong.
>>27833000
>Do you enjoy acting like a women?
Do you enjoy being a social failure? We're beta males cucked by society, the only reasonable social strategy is acting like a woman. If you could succeed by acting like a man you'd be a Chad; deception is all that's left to us.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7P-f-nzOTV4
You gotta think like this
>>27832480
Also you've got to build it up like a snowball. I found myself in a bit of a rut but I've climbed out of it. I'll spare the story, but it takes time.
>>27833026
I don't do that a lot because I creep the fuck out of people, and I've noticed I creep them out even more, even when only briefly looking into their eyes.
>>27833039
>wanting to act like a bitch
get the fuck out of my face, the only people who talk shit about others are woman.
>>27832983
Ever considered it might be fun giving other people shit? I find it highly entertaining to make stupid normies mad and I enjoy insulting them. Humans evolved to like establishing dominance and in modern society this is the closest thing that still resembles that.
Stop pretending you're the second coming of Christ and live a little.
>>27833053
>i hate normies
>but i want to act like a full blown normie
How's the rags, gorgeous?
>>27832971
Oh hardy har, let's all laugh at anon.
>>27833047
No you fool, that's in your head. Unless you're relentlessly staring, of course.
Have you heard of the looking glass self? If you think other people see you as a creep, you will become creepy to them. The inverse is absolutely true, however. So think about that.
>>27833051
>the only people who talk shit about others are woman.
Have you ever had male coworkers in your life?
>>27833065
I'm superior to normies and I let them know it. Enjoy being a bottom feeder for the rest of your life. Probably picked some "good, hard-working" career where you make shit pay for back breaking work because of your idiotic, self-harming morals.
>>27833101
You have flawed logic, but that is expected of a failed normie.
>>27833078
I love how normies find it so hard to grasp these concepts. Guess what, not everyone is born looking normal you fucking faggot, or has been graced by luck to not look creepy even when smiling.
>>27833031
>ignores the other three pieces of advice to rip on the one redundant one
>wonder why their a faggot with no social skils
>>27833051
How would you assert your dominance as a "man"? By beating the shit out of others? Too bad for you we live in a civilized society.
>>27833118
what a day to live in... instead you are forced to get the mentality of a girl and use them on others in-chance of someone being your friend. I bet those people you think are your friends and talk shit about do the same behind your back about you.
lol
>>27833117
They're all shit tier normie advice that doesn't even apply. I'm not going to waste my time on you typing out reaction text to all of the stupid things you say.
>>27833133
They can't talk shit about me because I'm superior to them in every way. The only reason I don't beat the shit out of people to prove I'm better is because of society's laws. If we were still living as apes I would gladly do so, however. Adapt to the times, your obsession with your masculinity clearly shows you're a little insecure.
>>27833133
>I bet those people you think are your friends and talk shit about do the same behind your back about you.
No fucking shit they talk about me behind my back; it's called "having a fucking opinion". I'm not so insecure I need to imagine I'm perfectly adored by everyone I'm on frequent terms with. Live by the sword, die by the sword. It's a deal most people seem to be perfectly fine with, and it's a deal I'm willing to take. And if you're not willing to take it, you must not be very capable of feeling loneliness.
>>27833176
>They can't talk shit about me because I'm superior to them in every way
the one with the superior intellect who has no friends and browses r9k
>>27833144
actually he's right. how you present yourself affects how you perceive yourself, and so how others perceive you.
>>27833194
Just another place for me to laugh at pathetic losers, I can be a bit more open about it than in real life.
>>27833185
>>27833176
Well this thread is an eye opener for me, at least.
>>27833144
>asking for advice on how to be a normie
>getting offended by advice on how to be one
Sorry, we can have a real talk. Your a worthless shit who no social skills that's going to to die alone. Most likely by suicide because your a pathetic faggot who never realized that being social is actually pretty easy. You're just not self aware enough to realize that no one actually cares about what you say so you have to try and make yourself interesting.
>>27832771
Normies wouldn't even think about this. It comes naturally for them.
>>27832863
When you want to keep someone talking about themselves without them noticing you're doing, rather than asking too many direct questions, which comes off like an interrogation and makes people feel uncomfortable, say things that invite them to continue talking or elaborate on what they already said.
You: "Hey, how was your weekend?"
Them: "Pretty good, I went to [movie/concert/event] with my boyfriend!"
Now it's your turn to speak again. You COULD just say "Yeah? How was it?" to keep them talking, but you'll seem smoother and achieve the same result by smiling and saying something like "Oh that sounds like a great time, I love [thing that was mentioned]."
They'll probably start telling you all about it, even though you technically didn't ask, and they'll like you more because you've created a feeling of shared interest. Use what they say to make another comment that invites further elaboration, and so on. With practice this can be kept up almost indefinitely without the other person noticing that they're doing all the talking.
>>27832589
This, talk about stuff yourself it is weird just asking people out like a detective
wait what if you talk bad about someone
and they tell that normie and that normie wants to fight
>>27832480
don't talk unless u have sg to say
>>27833281
talk shit get hit. why are you talking shit in the first place
>>27833308
read the thread its a normal thing to do to make friends
>>27833238
What? he's not the OP?
>>27833281
Well first your shit talking can't be that extreme. If it isn't then the normie is the one who looks bad because he's overreacting. So if that happens just emphasize his overreaction and people will make fun of him even more, and it's unlikely he'll try to fight you because everyone will think he's got some kind of mental issue for overreacting so badly.
>>27833223
>Just another place for me to laugh at pathetic losers
but you are one of the pathetic losers
>>27833220
You have a lot to learn normie.
>>27833238
You're confusing me with OP. I never asked for advice.
>>27833328
No I'm not.
>>27833322
No it isn't you imbecile. The dude who wrote that is probably in high school or some shit.
>>27833348
so you are saying talking bad about others isn't something all normies do?
>>27833344
No, you obviously do. You're the one stuck in a purely psychological rut. Isn't that right?
>>27832480
Tfw you have repulsing resting face.
>>27833281
1) people are pussies, they fucking won't, and besides if it comes down to a fight they're a person and you're a robot, I'm sure you can pull through with yard rage if you try hard enough
2) this is where the other stuff about repeating what people say comes in. When you're speaking to the average normie, they're most likely full of petty resentments against other people. Not all other people, but at least some of them. If you watch carefully for signs of disgust (and don't neurotically assume that disgust is automatically toward you), you can get a sense for what they hate and start bonding with them over that. What the hell are they going to tell the other normie about, their own envy?
Politics are the most stereotypical example of this, but more daily life things work too
>>27833373
well thanks i'll try out the shit talking to people online
>tfw no story to tell
>>27833369
Project much armchair psychologist?
>>27833365
If you're going to talk shit about someone or something and you don't want to come off as an asshole, talk about something or someone that has enough distance from you so that you don't come off as a prick.
Politicians, professors, the cops, the pretentious baristas at starbucks, and so on. You don't just sit there and talk shit about a classmate to a female you're trying to impress. That's absurd and childish and you'll gain no respect whatsoever.
>>27833411
>That's absurd and childish and you'll gain no respect whatsoever.
implying assumptions. women do this ALL the time. she will love you for it.
>>27833411
Lol shut up idiot. I've bonded at work by talking shit about the same co-worker that we both talk to almost every shift.
I have a really close normie friend and 20% of our discussions is shit talking his 2nd closest friend.
>>27833344
I didn't think you we're op, but you counter argued my advice like it wasn't solicited or correct. I probably should have said "in a thread about how to be a normie", my mistake.
Still stand by what I said though.
>>27833420
Women can have everyone eating out of their hands on account of their tits and vag. Don't think that applies to guys anon.
>>27833185
Hm. I'm not the anon you are responding to, but I needed to hear that badly. The fact that you don't care about what others say behind your back makes me not want to care about that as well. In my circle of friends I've worried about that, but I realize I shouldn't give a damn about it after reading your post. So I'll take that deal as well and just be superior to them; since I already feel that I am to begin with. I should let my ego grow and use it to better myself like you have.
>>27833435
What do you even talk about? what do you talk to your friend about your co-worker? He's a lazy cunt? he smells? I mean i sort of see where you are going now and it builds a bond since you both hate/like something.
>>27833402
say whatever you want.
>>27833420
>women do this ALL the time
Yeah women talk shit. No woman is looking for a male with female characteristics
>>27833435
entirely different context, you silly.
>>27833442
>you counter argued my advice like it wasn't solicited or correct
Oh my bad, didn't realize I needed your permission your highness. Well how about this. I don't give a fuck, and I'm going to keep pointing out your retarded advice and there's jack shit you can do about it. Cry some more bitch.
>>27832480
I might be able to help you out, I have a friend who talks to me alot online, It's usually just a chill conversation then he wants to argue out of nowhere by trying to make me look stupid and proving known points or says something to piss me off and I just ignore him.
>>27833458
>say whatever you want
But that's what you're doing.
>>27833442
It's only retarded because it doesn't work for you. Enjoy dying alone. You seem like an awful burden to be around anyway.
>>27833457
We'll talk about how he's really annoying and how he acts really gay. We'll bring up specific annoying stuff he does like how he talks about cringey shit like game grumps and jontron
>>27833458
>entirely different context, you silly.
I do the same thing in every context. Work friends, close friends, friends I'm not as close with, etc.
>>27833495
Is your point that you talk shit about people in all of your social circles? Like compulsively? Because that's probably not healthy.
>>27833495
>We'll talk about how he's really annoying and how he acts really gay. We'll bring up specific annoying stuff he does like how he talks about cringey shit like game grumps and jontron
Alright thanks mate, i see when people talk bad about others (my instance only once I've heard) they don't exactly hold back. So back to where i said earlier on about it giving you something to bond over.
All makes sense now, still feels like a shit thing to do though.
>>27833520
No, almost everyone does it, and obviously I don't do it as much in certain contexts. If it's a group of people that are really close obviously I'm not going to start talking shit about one of them. Even when I talk about other stuff they'll randomly bring up people to shit talk about.
>>27832480
My hunch is that if you have to consciously try to be social, to mimic following normal social cues and conventions, then you can't ever really do it. Sure maybe in a limited context you can come across as totally normal. Hell, I can do that too and I did when I worked as a cashier at an amusement park.
However around my coworkers, after enough exposure, it was clear to everybody that I was just pretending around guests. I can even fake my way through a job interview but I simply can't keep up the jig forever. It's too tiring.
>>27833542
>No, almost everyone does it
Actually they don't anon. I'd really recommend you stop shit talking about people. What goes around, comes around...
>>27833527
(Not the guy you're quoting)
>they don't exactly hold back
It's just a question of context. Because these are plain statements of fact, you know; the feeling "annoyed" was present when he's around, he does act gay, he does talk about those things and they are cringey. But that doesn't mean he's unforgivable as a person, it just means he has some downsides. Maybe out of the mouth of a stranger, those would be bloodthirsty judgments of character, but the guy you're talking to and reciprocating feels with IS still friends with the guy. So it's just telling the truth - a side of the truth that is usually suppressed for politeness. And people like being able to tell the truth (cf Trumpers) and you will be appreciated if you can enable them to do so.
>>27833542
See but that's different. You're telling these aspies to just start talking shit, lol. There's certain situations where it's appropriate, and the people here obviously aren't equipped to recognize that.
>>27832563
>Also, if you can get them talking about themselves, you won't be able to get them to shut up.
probably the best tip for beginners' interaction. Knowing when to sprinkle in a "right," "yep," "uh huh," etc is also key
>>27832480
>I've been trying to become more social. When I talk to people I try to be nice. I always ask follow up questions and try my hardest to keep conversations going but they always fall flat. People end up ignoring me or give me short responses. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. How do normies as socialize? I've looked online for guides, ice breakers, conversation topics too but it doesn't work. Is there something I'm missing?
Hey OP, I'm a reformed robot and I might be able to show you why your conversations fail. Believe it or not, it all comes down to one trick in my opinion.
I've helped a few robots turn their life around before so I might be able to help you as well. I actually worked with Tony Robbins a few times when I was in Cali and learned it him.
Most people think it's all about confidence but that's actually not true (and it's not about looks either, though it does help). The reason it works is because it gives people a reason to want to talk to you (and talk to you a lot).
Anyway, I'll help you our for free, so you've got nothing to lose. Just go there and put your email and I'll show you how:
http://eepurl.com/bXNbRj
P.S. Before someone says "SPAM", fuck you, I'm just trying to help a fellow robot for free
P.P.S. Let me give you an example of conversation I had with a girl tonight:
Me: Where is your accent from?
Her: From Ireland, but I just moved here from San Francisco
Me: No way, I used to live in San Francisco, did you use to go to this taco place...
Her: Taqueria Cancun!?
Me: Yes! What about did you ever go to that bar Elbow Room?
Her: Yes!
etc.
>>27833820
That sounds like an incredibly boring conversation, and makes me glad that I'm not missing out on stupid as fuck shit as that.
>>27833837
this normies can burn in fucking hell the hallow fuckers
>>27833820
why not just be chad? if you are chad girls will try to carry the conversation and initiate.
>>27833479
How does that help me anon?
Original comments
>>27833820
If people think you're a spammer it's because you write the same way as people trying to sell MLM scams.
>>27832480
HOW CAN I BECOME ABLE TO TALK WITH PEOPLE
If I ever have to talk with someone I have a compulsion to end any interaction with them. I'm so scared I'm wasting there time or they don't want to talk to me
>>27833923
In my experience there was a large egocentric aspect to it. I don't want to be lonely, I want to end the pain, me me me, so I'm going to subject other people to myself and get them to respond to me in ways that give me external validation. If they don't like it they should have kept better boundaries. And after some time of this, I learned what works and what doesn't and can be reasonably sure I'm not wasting their time and they are legitimately enjoying making conversation. It's probably harder when you're out of high school, but 1) it's still a big world, and 2) you're going to be alive for a while. So you can put in the time.
Meet people, talk about whatever seems interesting, do this enough and someone will be interested in a long term sense. Probably another autist at first; it's fine. Use them to collect more precise data on what gets better and worse responses, go out again to meet different people with a different routine. After years and years of this you stop being an autist and start being fluent, and ideally you stop being an attention whore and start being mature
