Let's have an old fashioned feel thread
>tfw only grill i ever liked is going to study abroad
>no point in confessing my feelings
I thought I'd given up on love and gf, but I'm really sad right now because I don't think I'm ever gonna find anyone like her.
what about you, robots? share your feels here.
>tfw feel ambitious and try my hardest to achieve goals, but I never seem to make any progress
i hate myself
>tfw ywn stab OP in the stomach with a serrated blade and observe the look on his face when his organs pour out.
>>27789356
>tfw hungry because stressed
>tfw if I eat it's just going to go to waste
>tfw I'm going to have to anyway in order to sleep
It never ends. I just want to forget everyone and everything including myself.
>tfw you accidentally swallow a little bit of toothpaste and the slightly burning (but not really painful) sensation sticks in the back of your throat all day
>>27789393
How do you know you're not making any progress? This all might be subjective, senpai.
>>27789356
>doesnt even dare to walk outside to buy my groceries anymore due to my social anxiety
Yesterday I was feeling very suicidal. Today I woke up from a nightmare, the suicidal feeling being still there.
>two years ago happy and carefree
>now only thing keeping me from being an alcoholic is the fact I can't get it easily
>don't care about anything anymore
>starting to feel detached from reality
>tired all the time
where did it go wrong?
>>27789577
get up and fight for a better tomorrow anon don't give into the depression it feeds off itself
>>27789626
Don't know, but if you can maybe you should sit down with a therapist and figure it out.
>>27789577
Ever been to a psychologist, anon?
>>27789678
yes i have, i am in fact going to go to my next meeting in 30 minutes
he doesn't really help apart from trying to offer me help with meds, but i'm skeptical about them i guess. currently i'm filling in papers about what might be wrong with me, i've got a strong feeling that the diagnosis is either gonna be psychosis or psychotic depression and a mild case of schizophrenia.
>>27789543
Because I've made progress before, and relative to that, I'm making little to no progress. I don't seem to have much willpower, and it's ridiculously effortful to force myself to do something productive.
here's an abstract one, lads
>tfw lonely
>tfw try to make a tulpa to help cure loneliness
>tfwit's working
>tfwart schooldropout
>inb4 >falling for the art school meme
Ye I know, don't give me that shit.
I was thinking of going to my school library tomorrow to look for some books to learn web design but the thought of probably running into my old classmates and have to explain them where have I been, makes me feel like a fucking loser, which I indeed am.
>Want friends
>But at the same time don't
>Angry that i don't have any
>Want girlfriend
>But at the same time don't
>Angry that i don't have one
>Upset my life is so shit
>But don't do anything to fix it
>Enjoy living in misery but at the same time i don't
>Just enjoy posting feels
Just get me off this ride
I'm too god damn stupid to pass physics. It takes me over 40 hours to do a 20 question assignment and either fail or get a D on every test. I just spent 4 hours on one problem and got it wrong. I wish I was at least too stupid to know I was stupid.
>>27790624
what got you into physics in the first place? maybe it's just not interesting to you, so you handle studying like a chore and end up not getting it
>>27789577
don't kill yourself please
superorriginal
>>27790651
I need it for pre med bio. I'm fine with everything else. I even had a B in organic chemistry. I have a D in physics right now and a test on Tuesday that will fuck me.
>>27789356
>tfw you know longer find your fuckbuddy/basically gf attractive
>too much of a pussy to end it
>go to a party with her there
>you make out with a different girl at a party
>she ends it with me today over text
>5 minutes later the new girl sends a message over facebook
I no longer have any excuse to hang around here anymore
>best friend doesn't talk to me anymore
>because I lied to him about using speed and cocaine at a party
> While I promised to him I would never use again.
> Only got myself to blame.
> feels really bad man or it's the comedown... I don't know anymore.
>>27790682
I amn OP give me some hope as well please.
>tfw everything feels so far away but still painfully terrifying
>>27790718
you will somehow do it anon i trust, can't you talk to the professor or something that you're having a hard time and need only minimal in order to pass?
">have an insanely hot russian gf"
">graduating this May with honors"
">great social life"
">parents aren't divorced and love me unconditionally"
yet, I'm an alcoholic. I'm bored with everything in my life. I see no reason to be excited about tomorrow, ever. I feel like a fraud in every interaction I have with people, and don't even feel like I'm true to myself.
>>27790794
take up cocaine
>>27790836
used to abuse it all the time, didn't like it as much as drinking.
>>27790846
eat shrooms
>>27790752
your life is worth something
>>27790859
All my buddies who have done them speak highly of their experiences. I don't like smoking weed though because it exacerbates all the depressive thoughts i carry
>>27790875
seems like you don't know who you are or what you want out of life, try to find out that at first, either through the help of psychedelics or not
>>27790907
Would you recommend using them for that specific purpose?Because you're right, I have no idea who I am or what I want.
>>27790926
i'm not saying it will cure your depression like a magic pill, but it will give you a new perspective in the least, your problems will be brought to surface in order to look at them and you will be inspired to fix them
in your situation i think it's definitely worth checking out
It's exhausting just trying to think of the right words to say and to keep conversations going. I'm socially retarded to the point that I can't even hold a conversation with a robot I met on here, fucking kill me.
>>27790743
You're here forever mang. I was a kissless virgin faggot when I discovered /r9k/. Now 4 years later, I'm /fit/, sociable, got a qt gf and have fucked another 6 hotties.
It's okay to hang out here even if you have made it. Don't forget where you started.
>flirt with coworker
>petit, wonderful little ass, babyface
>touch her whenever i cant stop myself
>she doesnt mind
>has a boifriend
>i just want to rail her in the office every day
>shes never ever gona be mine
just call me a creep and stop staring into my eyes you beautiful succubuss you
>dropped out of school
>can't get job
>tired of life
>I am afraid that my NEET ass get kicked out
>head to local church in rain
>haven't been to mass in years, desperate attempt for redemption
>get to the door and mass is not even in session
>mfw second time i tried to attend and all i got was wasted time
not even faith and petty religion accept me anymore. im no responsible catholic but that shit still hurt me deep inside.
>>27789356
>you will never be a video game designer in the early 1990s
>>27792204
>tfw too ashamed to go look for a job
i can't even do anything i've never worked in my life
what am i to do bros
Tfw I tried my best to make friends at the schools orientation camp and at the end of the day everybody ive talked to just feels like a friendly stranger instead of a friend
>dropped out of my second degree
>tried for a couple of jobs but despite having a degree I cant find shit
>was too lazy to sort out neetbucks
>vegetate for months
>down to $0 in a weeks time
>rent will still be due
>barely ever answer my parents calls (like every other month)
>my best and only real friend happened to luck into a great job due to contacts
>don't care about the money but it's changing him, preaching and sounding full normie
>balding
>in a thread a few days ago
>op posted about ending his life and wanted to say goodbye, it seemed genuine
>felt sorry for him and read the replies
>about 1 third "don't do it anon life will get better", 1 third "Good luck if you go through with it anon, we all care about you" and 1 third edgelord comments like "Shoot up a school first" or "we don't care"
>start writing a reply to try and cheer him up/ change his mind
>thinking of things to say
>remember that I used to want to kill myself/ hated everyone and managed to turn it around and am a cyborg now
>only turned my life around due to very good circumstances which OP is very unlikely to have
>maybe I should put it will get better and you will eventually be happy
>think to myself its very unlikely it will get better for him and he will probably always be fucked mentally
>should I say something like even though there are bad things in the world it still has its positives
>realise that this is absolute bullshit
>everything I could think of was just lies
>think for about 10 minutes and start crying as I realise that suicide is genuinely the best option for OP
>don't want to say something like "Good luck OP I will remember you" as it will encourage him to do it but don't want to lie to him either
>exit the thread crying
This one hit me hard lads, it was the strongest feel I have felt in a long time
>>27792826
you should have cheered him up regardless
what is this bullshit line of thought
>only turned my life around due to very good circumstances which OP is very unlikely to have
you are unfamiliar with OP's circumstances, even if he's not as lucky as you maybe he could have done it with effort.
>>27792936
People already asked him things about his life and it was clear his circumstances were absolutely shit, sorry if it was unclear.
I kept trying to think of things to say but I just couldn't think of anything which wasn't complete bullshit and didn't want to say something along the lines of "It will get better OP" as he would just know that it wouldn't.
>>27792826
I'm the post above you, your story is like my friend who lucked a great job and had a very forward girl approach him, both basically saved him.
He was pessimistic and suicidal, now he preaches to me about all the normie shit being great and how trying to become the greatest is worth fighting for etc.
I've fallen back into mmos and I see the same shit there. People talking about how bad the game is and how they're going to quit, then they get an expensive drop and suddenly love the game again and even argue with others who talk bad about the game despite feeling the same a week ago, it's disgusting.
>only turned my life around due to very good circumstances
Like what?
>tfw someone posts your meme picture on KYM
I snorted 15mg of PCP before bed last night.
Waking up halfway through was the most terrifying experience I've ever had.
>>27789356
I did this and she said she was waiting for me to ask and it ended up with a weird long distance thing that eventually fizzled out
>>27789356
>meet a girl
>talk all the time
>go on a date with her
>she uses less words in her messages
H-how long till she stops toying with me, guys?
>>27793072
The reason I said it was because in my opinion if you are in that state of mind for long enough you are fucked mentally for life. It certainly is in my case (I get irritated very easily and could never be in a loving relationship with someone) although I can easily appear as a normie.
>only turned my life around due to very good circumstances
This was around when I was at school and after getting picked on for about 3 years I moved schools. After completely failing previously due to severe depression I was really on the edge of killing myself.
I know this is one of the most cancerous memes in existence but I'm relatively "gifted" at maths/physics (nowhere near genius or anything but I could easily beat everyone at my school in the exams).
I was completely failing at the start as I had forgot everything but as I was very good at the subjects this allowed me to get good grades, and when I got good grades I began to feel as if I was achieving something with my life.
This led to me being happier and therefore I kept doing better and so on.
I'm pretty sure that if I wasn't getting good grades I would have ended it as I had no friends and was just generally miserable and had absolutely nothing else going for me. OP clearly had nothing going for him from what he posted.
>>27792716
I'm >>27792826 and I forgot to say that you sound very similar to me when I was getting picked on at school where I literally just didn't care anymore and was losing all my friends. The only advice I can think of is too try and stay friends with your friend even if its awkward and hes a normie so you don't lose interaction with everyone. I hope it gets better for you friend.
>(You) will never get a (You)
>>27789356
>tfw you are in the same situation as OP
fuck fuck fuck
>>27795377
here you go buddy
>>27796033
OP here, what are you planning to do mane, I'm just gonna try to forget about her, there's no point in even telling here since there's not way she gonna change her mind, and going long distance is just gonna be shit for both of us.
>>27796287
same here, I will try to forget herif I can
>find someone I really like
>had an on and off kind of thing for a while, finally start dating
>been dating for a year
>never wants to talk to me, always online though
>tells me i'm annoying because I worry about them and their wellbeing
>calls me clingy even though all i want is to talk once every two or so days
>always lonely
>i love them, they always say it back but it usually sounds strained
>they make me cry all the time
>I feel like a ghost
>afraid to leave because they're the only person that will ever love me most likely
>>27797334
some other things I forgot to add
>they constantly ask for nudes
>I comply because they compliment me and get off to the pictures
>the only time they ever sound sincere is when they want to fuck
>aim to please them, never really do because i'm not their 'perfect' vision
>tfw shy virgin
>constantly put down, they imply something negative about me every time we talk
>sputter out 'th-that's not very nice'
>they laugh
>constantly makes fun of my deathly fear of needles, heights, my insecurities
>they have a job with needles, sometimes brings them home and teases me by poking themselves with them
>tells me they love to watch me squirm
>cry myself to sleep
>>27796033
>here you go buddy
Thank (You).
>>27797493
tfw heart hurts reading this story
remove my feels
>on fourth year of uni
>im having a wicked case of senioritis atm
>im four years into my degree and i NOW start doubting whether i made the right choices
>is this truely what i want to do? why did i even go for university?
>would i perhaps not have been happier going another route?
>lose all motivation for studying
>have not kept up with work a good number of weeks now
>a fucking tidal wave of undone work is now threatening to drown me
i honestly feel like im gonna have a panic attack sometimes.
>>27791258
Practice every day. Watch people interacting in rl or in videos. Learn the "scripts" for small talk. I'm doing the same.
>>27797334
>>27797493
saddening
wouldn't you be happier alone?
>>27797825
i'm sure, but i crave affection so badly that i don't know how it will go
Is there such a thing as a quarterlife crisis? If so, I think I'm having it.
>mid twenties
>regret over my wasted teenage and early twenty years
>all my peers have done all kinds of cool shit
>i've achieved very little by comparision
>losing motivation to keep at my studies
>having real doubts about what i wanna do with my life
>actually realize how unhealthy i am
>>27789356
>Tfw your old oneitis has forgotten entirely about you
>Tfw dreaming is the best part of your day
>Tfw drugs and escapism aren't working as well anymore
>Tfw you just finished cutting contact with new oneitis
>Tfw receding hairline
>>27797493
Get on OKCupid and flirt. Your person sounds like me when I was at my lowest and an emotionally abusive fuck, making my "pathetic" partner cry made me laugh. People like that know you're desperate and will take advantage because it's fun and strokes their ego. But let them see you get attention elsewhere-a dating site, a really close new friend-and they'll get insecure and either beg for your attention or leave like they should've a long time ago. You should end but if you're anything like my old partner you won't yourself.
>been shut in a week straight
>old friend from elementary invites me over
>get drunk and high with some of his friends
>sperg every convo
>obviously barely fit in if I do at alltfw this is a good night by my standards
>>27798019
they're really intimidating when they're upset, besides, they've always been insecure when someone hits on me or something along the lines.
I'll keep this in mind, thanks.
>>27790794
suicide, consider it
