>we at the chinese buffet this time
>lunch hours
>>27690679
I wonder if the hostess watches anime, i should go ask her
>I turn 360 degrees and flying roundhouse kick everyone to the ground.
I shit in the Hunan chicken.
Leaving the table to go get those crab ragoon things. They're like little breaded stars with that heavenly cream cheese crab shit in the middle MMmMM that shit lit 3bh.
Also tell the waitress I want water.
No rice or noodles for me, its the cheap shit they want you fill up on. Mostly meat dishes, with maybe some rangoony like things.
>It's lunch time. They never come out here at lunch time
t-table for one please
>they saw me put sprite in my water cup
*gets nervous*
*takes all the sushi*
>>27690737
"Herro I am coke refirr
You need what?"
Who's the fucking asshole that keeps hogging only the sashimi rolls
*gets plate of pizza, fries, fried chicken, and a piece of cake*
i love chinese buffets
where is muh gainz
>"A table for 1, your total will be $17.42 plus tip.. Thank you! Enjoy your meal!"
>Y-yeah.. you too..
>>27690994
>$17.42
What the fuck is this New York City? I don't pay anything more than $6.00.
>>27690964
"You already paid for your meal sir... its a buffet so you don't need to put on a disguise just to order more food"
>looking at the ground while speed running my dish to my table
>trip on the floor
>>27691130
>catch your plate
>carry it to my table and eat your food while you struggle to stand up
>>27691030
>Not nourishing yourself with only the finest of all-you-can-eat Asian cuisine that your NEETbux can buy
Silly wagecucks are at it again!
>>27691176
Fuck off Cumdrizzle, I'm more of a NEET than you'll ever be. I've never worked a day in my life.
GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY ORANGE CHICKEN NORMALS
This tastes like shit
Still going to eat like a fucking pig
Does anybody wants to sit with me?
>>27690803
>>27690773
Those rangoony things
That and eating sweet and sour chicken without the sauce.
>>27690803
>grab plate full of noodles, and only noodles
>smuggle plate into bathroom
>plop down on the toilet, get my ass really nicely spread
>start wiggling the noodles through my sphincter and into my colon
>noodles are nice and warm
>really get that lower intestine full
>super comfy asshole desu
>>27690679
ugh, disgusting
I only drink the finest of breastmilks, soylent, and vegan gluten free sushi
now bring me some real food lieu kang-way jin
>>27691215
>Tells the waiter that this degenerate scum is berating me, a well paying and notorious VIP customer
>Security promptly removes you from my presence while I am compensated with a delicious free dessert
>They promise to try to keep the riff raff out next time
>>27691323
>We're not even in the same restaurant because you overspent on Chinese buffet at some fancy faggoty ass place
>You're the only one there
>You daydream this scenario while stuffing your face with cheap cake while muttering bits of your fantasy out loud
>The waiter is shooting you creeped out looks
>>27691030
>"he doesn't know about Ling Ling's daughter working here specifically at this hour and her no pantsu service", I think to myself as I gladly pay for my meal
>>27691543
>he does, he is Ling Ling's daughter. He salivates, rubbing vanilla pudding all over his body and pushing his cock inward until it becomes inverted and awaiting your arrival to "fuck" his "slit". His nipples are hard, as erect as his inverted hotrod. He thinks of you, his repeat customer, of the last time you "fucked" his "slit".
>>27691615
>some retard that isn't Ling Ling's daughter keeps staring at me drooling
>>27691660
>There is no uncertainty on the matter. A man is Ling Ling's daughter, and he gets you hard every time. End of discussion.
*loads my food up in a to-go box*
*returns home to eat in the the privacy of my cave*
>>27691719
>stops you on the way out
>we're sorry sir you can only fill up the leftover from a single plate
>head directly to the beef & broccoli, fill up two plates full
>eat
>skip the bill, get the fuck out at a dodge
Mmmmm I would rike some sweet n sowah pork preese.
It'sa very good to eat and it fills you up rike nothing else.
Add a rittle fried rice and some other treats, and you can be king for the day.
>>27691770
We're going to have to ask you to leave. We don't tolerate racism. GO. YOU GO. YOU GO NOW.
>>27691738
*starts sweating intensely*
*stares at you for a moment*
*runs past you as fast as my skinnyfat body can take me*
>>27691719
I can't believe this dinner was only 19.99 plus tax and tip. What a deal! I can't wait to go home and get my mouse really greasy with my salty french fry fingers. Then I'll pour ketchup on my mechanical keyboard and dip the tip of my cock into my Pepsi-Cola. Wow really refreshing business going on at the end of my willy. Better get the iPhone 4 out and start recording this. Better finally install that WebM Maker application I downloaded with the CNET download manager.
>>27691788
*Watches you go, blacklists your credit card.
>holy shit, is that girl working here not wearing panties?!
>>27691847
*returns the next day*
*pays with cash*
they'll never suspect a thing...
>>27691868
*Waitress whispering to another waitress in a serious tone and pointing at you as you pay
>>27691863
>Oh god.. I can see something hanging from her skirt
>Agh dude, do you smell that? Smell like pupu
>>27691863
We call "her" the vanilla pudding temptress
>>27691897
*Its a hologram*original
>>27691902
>lemme crawl underneath her skirt and check dude
>>27690679
>Heh excuse me, do you also serve alcohol here?
>>27691804
"Dude. what the fuck are you talking about?"
>Chan says as the flock of Nicos carressing his shoulders laugh
>>27691933
>Take this piece of gum, you'll want to refresh your mouth after you take a taste test of those skirt dinglers
I sneeze on the sneeze guard and look around to see if anyone notices
>>27691980
>What the fuck did you see that that guy just sneezed in the food tell the waitress
>>27691960
>I salute the Nicos with formal grace and untie my cod piece.
>Please my Nicos, take me in your mouth like you used to.
>Caw!! Caw!!
>Yes, that's right. Cock.
No carbs for me. I'm on a diet
>Chinese "food"
"Excuse me young miss I dropped my receipt on the floor right there can you pick it up for me?"
>>27692000
"uh n-n-no need for that"
I start wiping it off with my sleeve
>>27690755
This.
>Everyone is knocked out (about 50-60 people)
>motion to the door, call in all of my friends who were watching wide-eyed by the door
>they all run in and goofily laugh and begin to devour buffet with me, making really stupid and weird faces and laughing
I am currently watching The Way of the Dragon and getting drunk. I could really use some chinese food.
>"jeez can that fatass stack anymore food on one plate" thinks Ling Ling's daughter as she watches you get food
>>27692348
>implying I care what Ling Ling's daughter thinks
>black kids walk up to buffet
>gets 20 chicken nuggets and a bunch of french fries
>and on of those sugary fried breads
First things first, I smoke a ton of weed in the parking lot so I can enjoy the meal properly. Then, I devour 5 plates filled with greasy Chinese trash and leave without tipping.
>>27692348
>DAUGHTER
>LING LINGS DAUGHTER
I continue gorging food
>>27692308
>
(fuck captcha)
>mfw when my 4chan used to be primarily an image site, and one could post solely images
>gets squid leg
>chews on it like kawaii anime girl
I grab a plate.
>>27694176
Hey friend, you should try some of that guacamole on sauces section over there its awesome.
>>27690679
*i take off my robe and wizard hat
This is the thread that will finally make me kill myself.
>>27690679
>get my food
>sit with some robots and try to befriend them
>>27694297
Go fuck yourself faggot, did I say you can talk to me?
>GLOMPS random robot
HOII! o/ x3
>bites food off their plate
Totemo oishiiii-desu!!
>adjusts trenchcoat and winks at hostess
M'lady, anata wa should hontoni deito ore mo
>hostess turns around and turns out to be a dude
O_Ou.........t-the dick only makes it better!! XDDD
>>27694297
OH NO
ITS WASABI
>>27690773
I work at a chinese restaurant. Though i love rangoons to death, i see how they make them.
>little sweaty chinese man mashes cream cheese with his bare hands no glove in an unkept tub.
>>27696888
>>27692566
>>27692308
>"ITS A FUCKING
ROLEPLAY THREAD"
>I put my phone away and continue eating
what the fuck am i even reading na
