ALL ROBOTS HEED THIS WARNING
I am a wizard, and I have been for the past 10 years, and I am telling you RIGHT NOW that it is 100% imperative that you post a reply in THIS THREAD.
IF YOU DO, you will receive a loving caring girlfriend who is everything you've ever wanted, and more. You will meet her in a moment that you will only be able to describe as "coming straight out of a romance movie". You will also acquire a well-paying job that feels more like play than work. You will be paid handsomely to do something that you would consider your hobby anyways. Waking up to go to work won't feel like a chore - it will be starting the day early to pursue your passion. You will develop a thirst for knowledge, and your peers will see you as something of a philosophical and logical genius.
HOWEVER, IF YOU DO NOT POST IN THIS THREAD, your life will deteriorate to a state that you can't even begin comprehend. You think your life sucks now? Just you wait. Your environment will lose its color, smells and tastes will begin to fade from the foods you eat. You will find you have no libido, and in fact you will have no drive at all. You will become lethargic, tired all the time, to such an extreme that you won't even be able to get out of the sleeping bag that you call a bed. You will begin gaining massive amounts of fat on all areas of your body, your memory will fade, and you won't be able to perform even the most basic of tasks. Your days will consist of waking up in a dark concrete alleyway, with bruises and cuts all over your decrepit body that come from living in outdoors in an urban ghetto environment. You will somehow continue to live to the age of 45, but only barely. Your life force will be nothing more than a thread, ready to snap at any moment, with every second that passes by bringing somehow yet more agony to your pitiful life.
I have seen the future. This will happen. Go ahead and ignore this thread, as I know many of you will. I warned you.
Just peeking in to say that life sucks no matter what.
Blasphamous nonsense. Only in our Lord Keks name can one predict future events
heh. what the hell. posting just to feel safe.
/r9k/ is sad enough to fall for chain messages like this
I bet this will hit bump limit
Posting in a shitpost thread
Good thing I'm posting in this thread.
Only a sucker would see this thread and NOT post in it to reap the obvious rewards.
>>27633713
You never know. Better be safe.
I wish you good luck on your journey into the worlds of magic, oh mighty wizard. May you find what we mere mortals may never comprehend. All hail!
Pls save me wizard
But all i want in life is a nice big bowl of cinnamon grahams
immunity cat bitches
>>27633792
I fucking want it to happen. This is going to be amazing. I can't wait
I usually don't believe in magic and shit but just in case
I jus hope this is real, I want a qt3.14 nice gf tbqh family friend
We have literally nothing to lose 2bqh guys
I'm gay what do you have for me OP
give me tl;dr wiz
you are an idiot, i am double idiot for reply.
>>27633792
Damn right it will in an original way
>>27633786
I'm with you m80
Pls help me mighty wizard
so if i don't post nothing changes?
>>27633713
Fuck you cunt
Original FYC
Maybe this will work
who knows, meme magic can do its thing from time to time
>>27633713
don't disappoint me
>ayy lmao
yellow keks my name, cummin g in pussys my game
Mom is starting to get worried about me not having a gf. Posting for the sweet puss.
Goddamnit i can't resist. It's amazing what desperation can do. Fuck you Op you know us too well
>>27633713
>implying it's going to happen
I hope she's japanese desu
good form, wizard
>>27633981
But you posted anyway
that's great, if I post in this thread, will all of my regret go away, too? Will the soul crushing depression go away, too?
who gives a shit about having a "loving caring" girlfriend and a "stable well paying" job; it's all fucked anyways and I'm a poor excuse for a human being no matter how you cut it
>>27633713
WHERE"S MY GF AND HOBBY JOB OP!!??!?!!?
I WANT GF
GIVE ME GF RIGHT NOW
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Thanks OP appreciate it.
Pls give me the life I deserve All knowing wizard
>a wizard wanting a girlfriend
Fuck off you goddamn normie
I can see how my life can go downhill even further...
SPARE ME, OH, GREAT WIZARD!!!
>>27634136
What are your credentials? "robot"
Meme magic, do your thing
also fuck captcha
It doesn't matter, life will still suck :(
NIGSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
*inhale*
NIGSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
If posting on this type of thread is all the hope we have, doesn't that mean we already lost?
iwanttobelieve.png
60 year old virgin with ED reporting in for new found romance
Butwhy.jpg
pls spare me wizard
All I want is her in my life. Posting to avoid bad karma.
>get a gf like from a romantic movie
>more like I'll be old and still a kvh in a mental home
>there's a nurse and she's a real qt
>huge age gap
>don't care, I go senile and think she's my lovely gf
>I think I'm in a romantic movie
>she plays along but no actual intimate contact, just meaningless words
That will be my life.
pls let the memes be real i want a gf god damn
>>27633713
thanks man, mind teaching us your magics?
Wizzyfizzy OP about to save this silly false optimist robot from wizard hood
>tfw 29
>tfw raging autism and acne
>please OP. I just want to be happy
>>27633713
Posting a reply for the future
>>27633713
Replying just cause i'm a superstitious fuck.
kanker up the bumhole desu senpai
I'm desparate enough at this point to try
Mr. Wizard help me pls!
>>27633713
eh posting to post to post a posting
I just want to be with her
OP aside, I think I'm developing a mental illness. Is this what the onset of crippling depression feels like?
>>27633713
why would this even work you fucking fag for an OP
I don't even what a girlfriend.
I had a GF once for a year and a half and it was not worth it. Sure fucking dat ass, pussy and cumming in dat mouth was AMAZING, but it's just not worth it.
Work on yourselves robots. You'll thank yourself later.
>>27633713
I'll reply cos why not
>>27634305
does it matter? I'll go down in you big boi.
>>27633713
Here we go, des~
>>27633713
i can't believe people pay attn to this shit
>>27633713
Let's do this mate.
Hit that magic boost, I'll need it.
I want my power back.
>>27633713
>IF YOU DO, you will receive a loving caring girlfriend who is everything you've ever wanted, and more. You will meet her in a moment that you will only be able to describe as "coming straight out of a romance movie". You will also acquire a well-paying job that feels more like play than work. You will be paid handsomely to do something that you would consider your hobby anyways. Waking up to go to work won't feel like a chore - it will be starting the day early to pursue your passion. You will develop a thirst for knowledge, and your peers will see you as something of a philosophical and logical genius.
This paragraph made me smile
>>27633713
Sleep thight wizard
>>27633713
>you will receive a loving caring girlfriend who is everything you've ever wanted, and more.
Impossible.
3D is inherently repulsive.
>>27633713
Thank you Grand Wizard
Ayayayaya cuuuu
>>27633713
But if I do get all that stuff you said, I will be still empty inside.
>>27633713
But I want to be a wizard senpai
>>27633713
Can't hurt... Can it?
Originalllll Comment
>>27633713
Can't lie, dont mind being not straight.
>>27634304
your waifu a shit
Rei for life
>>27633713
Thanks for giving me this nice future.
>>27633713
Worth a shot
This post was original
replay in i know this won't work
>>27633713
Alright here's my reply buddy
that's a lot of words. I'm going to post just to be safe
You can't stop my wizardly destiny
please save me ayy lmao
>>27634325
Thread needs more Yamada.
thank you based future bro
Posting OP
I sure hope it works
>>27633747
This is highly original enough.
>>27633713
what if I want a bf, anon?
Lol I'm banned so this better be fucking real and worth it.
>>27633713
gboufbiqergbeirvbqegbeguwr
ok reply breh
okay whatever here's the repsonse
>>27633713
Pringles man.
you see OP was playing us, he was showing that we are indeed his roaches, as shown by the deviousness and scheming of his wojack. you all just played yourself(me too but i want to feel safe)
>>27633713
ok i trust you
make my life good senpai
>>27633713
i'm in
skip the gf tho
>>27633713
Don't really care about the perfect life tbqh but I hopefully I will make the OP happy by contributing to the thread and validating him for making a successful thread even if it is under suspect pretenses
posting to get good life
>>27633713
This thread is actually above /r9k/ average, pretty funny.
Give me that gf.
ty senpai desu baka u know?
I'll post in this thread. I was arguing with a friend on steam about how the government should supply me with a free gf and he said I needed to quit being a pathetic piece of shit, but fuck him. I'm getting a free gf ITT the rest isn't that important
What the hell, here's another response.
Thanks wizard bro.
>tfw no gf.
I'll get one, one day...
Why does one have to work so hard just to become happy.
damn Lil B
>>27633713
koolio
For Narnia
fuqq u wizzard
i want three gfs
So does immunity cat help or hurt this scenario?
Posting to finally be content and happy
Well, im OK with this
>>27633713
Damn son, I normally ignore these threads but I like the effort you put in.
[spoier]I just want to be happy[/spoiler]
>>27633713
I am originally replying to this thread
>>27633747
Life sucks and We're all gonna die, thanks op
This is an original comment, so original in fact, it passed the robot!
>>27633713
Fine. make me. cant stop me na
Posting for happiness, give it to me OP
Op's a collosal fucking faggot.
You guys don't understand, I NEED to post in this thread
Why thank you Mr. Skeltal!
>>27633713
I'm just not gonna risk it
shitposting at it's finest tbqhfampai
Wew lad. Let's see if OP is a faggot or not. He probably is but hey.
why not, life's shit anyways
>>27633713
the stuff that happens if I don't post has already happened, except I'm Auschwitz instead of fat
I request a GF my friend.
>>27633713
POSTING TO FEEL A SENSE OF HOPE AND PURPOSE IN THIS MEANINGLESS WORLD.
too paranoid for this
>>27633713
kay hijak
lowjak
chris coprakjak
>>27633713
Can I have the first one bit with no girlfriend? A companion is stupid eventually one of you will stop loving the other.
Can I just have casual sex with women without lying to them or anything
Well fuck, I have a gf but I ain't risking shit nigga
Please help me wise wizard
>>27633713
fine ok
>>27633713
>post chain letter on /r9k/
>"you must reply to get a gf"
>guaranteed replies
pic related, it's you
For the lols
>>27633713
Just poppin' in :)
Wizard plz
Respecting the grand wizard
Postan just in case.
Nothappeninh tho
>>27633713
if I roll dubs, the good end will happen this week.
How can the mods allow these threads?Replying anyways famalam
Fist me wizard
>>27633713
This came off as actually well written. Good job anon, I was able to relate to almost all of it. You should write more OPThis post motivated me, thank you
guaranteed replies
original bread
>>27633713
The consequences of none response are to fifty percent already true.
Therefore the only logical conclusion is that I am a time traveler, born before your post and sent back in time as an infant, loving a pitiful existence called life only to see your thread a second time, this time around being able to comprehend what is going on.
And with this reply, the other 50% of my life that aren't extremely similar to the "bad consequences" of your post, will turn into the good counterparts.
wizards have no sense of right and wrong.
Im hear to receive your blessing oh mighty wizard
>>27633713
Whatever nigger. I'm 29, I'll probably never make another real friend again.
I hope in you wizard.
>IF YOU DO, you will receive a loving caring girlfriend who is everything you've ever wanted, and more. You will meet her in a moment that you will only be able to describe as "coming straight out of a romance movie".
I already have this
>>27633713
Klitzopan
>>27633713
I don't believe this shit for a moment but posting just in case
DON'T LISTEN TO OP! If we post in this thread the second scenario that he said is going to happen to you!
>>27633713
Just posting for the ol' posts sake.
replying thread just in case
What if I sage?
fuck you, this shit isn't real, just like that gains goblin shit from /fit/
still posting to be safe tho, how ironic
It gets worse anyway
please mr. wizard be true.
>>27633713
I praise your mindgame but one cannot compete with my game. One might say that your game is not worthy of praise. And that is true, however no one can muster anything better than your meek presence.
Begone, roach.
Replying just to prove you wrong faggot. Also check them.
>>27633713
Alright SENPAI, hopefully this works
>>27633713
Anon you better be right
>>27633713
Yet another meme magic thread, yet I still need that meme magic
>>27633713
Why would you do this, you do not have enough attention?
>>27633713
ooga booga poo in the looga
>implying op isn't just a lying faggot
help me famzardtard
help me op give me a qt3.14
>>27633713
Please don't be full of shit again. I could really use that meme magic right now.
Why the fuck not?
Original comment rawr XD
>>27633713
Let's go boys, pray for me to finish my project
Hello rato commentaire original
>tfw you post in this thread JUST incase
Can u make my waifu real?
>>27633713
Help me out great fampie wizard
>>27633713
Posting
Make my waifu real
Make my waifu mine
>>27634866
Oh shit niggaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa you dun it now
I'll take one girlfriend please. Thanks.
>>27633713
I HAVE HOPE ITS ALL I GOT
HELP ME WIZZZARRR
pls op save me from my cruel fate
>>2763Le frog.sees.n no harm
Thx anon for this wonderful fortune.
>>27633713
I'll go ahead and take Pascal's wager
I don't even know if I am straight anymore, but I will post anyway.
>>27633713
Posting on a wizard bread give me some of your meme magic I know who I want already woooo!
Pls help me wizard man I want to be safe
>>27633713
posting
Very original
comment
>>27633713
Tfw i fell for the wizard meme
>textless posts are not allowed
>mfw
My wizard powers are keener and have been fully tested and honed in the real world.
I have cast the spell that nullifies this thread.
Balance is restored.
Good day.
>>27634799
You got no ((You))s. Who are you, dear lurker?
hahaha nice try nerd, im not posting in ur dumb thread
Honestly, I can't believe I'm saying it, but I believe this is probably true. I really do think you are who you say you are and I don't want to go against you.
honestly i don't want a gf can't i just auto fellate myself?
dont want the girl want the job tho
Thank you Wizard OP
Great wizard, why don't you conjure a gf for yourself?
can it get any worse than this?
>>27633713
SAVE ME GRAND WIZARD, USE YOUR MIGHT MAGIC TO GET ME OUT OF THIS INFINITE HOLE OF DOOM
>>27633713
Better post, you never know.
Lit pls ty
I have immunity
Why the fuck not. Got nothing to lose.
ehhh worth a try
>>27633713
not taking any chances...
make my life nice pls
>>27633713
What if I want to be a wizard too? I can't get the gf
>>27633713
HELP BASED WIZARD.
Thank mr. wizard
>>27633713
he awoke with a memed cranium, as if the bleeding last ight was for good
>>27633713
congrats on the success of your thread
>>27633713
better safe than sorry right?
We'll see about that, Anon
>>27633713
nerd virgin
>>27633747
event with a qt gf?
Will I really ever make it
Lol can't hurt, rite? XDDDD
Fuck off, and fuck you.
(There, I've posted both sides of the "what should I say when I see a stupid internet thing")
I have nothing to lose. Help me out, gandalf.
Meeting my long distance gf in a romantic way sounds nice and I am trying to get my shit together so if this can help might as well post.
>>27633713
s,ure wh,,y n--ot.,'
If this doesn't work im going to an hero
:^)
Thank you for helping me out based wizard. Now I will hopefully get everything I wanted
>>27633713
Will the girlfriend be a virgin and will I be remembered after I die?
>>27633713
Thanks, I want to love someone that loves me back and just walk around on a summer night
>massive amounts of fat on all areas of your body
Dammit OP, made me post.
>>27633713
Eh here we go OP, hope you're right, if not the second thing is gonna happen to you!
>>27633713
this post is the only hope i have, don't fail me wizard
>>27633713
Let's see your magic, wizard.
>>27633713
is the future brighter?
>>27633713
That sounds like my formative years
i heed your warnings, oh wizard-sama
>>27633713
Posting to meet OP's mom so I can cuck his dad and become his new daddy.
>>27633713
This is probably the only chance i have for a decent life so work your magic wizard man and thanks for your help
alright thanks I'LL BE SURE TO POST
Life is already shit, but I sure as hell don't want it to get any worse.
Oh wow, I sure hope this works, mr wizard, my life is shit right now
>>27633713
I wholeheartedly succumb to your great powers
>>27633713
Oh great wizard cast thy spell for me!
epin simply spin
Just to be safe I'll bite
>>27633713
supremely original reply familia desu lad
don't fail us mighty wizard
>>27633713
post
(0r1ginal comment
>>27633713
098s90g8sd90k23j4l2398ssfd
>>27633713
i also wish to say thank you! !
>>27633713
I trust you op.
>>27633792
this is not a chain message you idiot. this is a real wizard
>>27633713
posting just in case OP is actually a wizard
hold me lads
>>27633713
So let me get this straight: 3DPD amirite but when wizard promises you magic romance you all come posting.
I thought it was impossible to go lower. You proved me wrong again.
work your meme magic o mighty wizard
>>27633713
Give me the gf i so rightly deserve
Thank you oh mighty wizard i hope you speak truly
>>27633713
kys yourself
