>20 years old
>was spending time at dad's the other day
>he gets a call and learns my sister-in-law and her kids from Waco are gonna be in town a day early (brother has to work or something)
>he wants to go see them
>I don't want to go
>tells me he can drop me off at mom's house
>2 hours later we leave to go
>while driving there he says she might leave the park where they're at at any point because sister-in-law is tired after driving for 16 hours straight
>wants to just drop by real quick to see them in case she wants to leave soon, then he can drop me off and come back if they're still there
>get to park
>wants me to get out of car and say hi
>"your nephews never get to see you. this would be great for them"
>I say "I mean, if I had known getting a ride would mean I'd have to come to the park and get out of the car to talk to them I would have just taken the bus"
>he looks at me and says "ok stay in the car then"
>8 years ago when I was 12 he would have chewed me out and said how unacceptable that was to not spend time with family, especially at my age
>and I probably would have gone with him, as I did in similar situations at that age
>now I'm more scared than ever and refused to go
>and he almost didn't seem phased and let me off the hook
I mean should I just end it robotpai?
>>27569125
your family sounds lowborn sounds its not really a big deal
It's not that bad, to be honest.
maybe that's a sign that you should then?
it seems like you basically expect your family to beg you
to do things when in retrospect you're a grown adult and they realize they can't force you to do anything.
It's finely-detailed, low-key posts like these that are starting to make me think that this board isn't just satire.
>>27569125
You're not 8 years old anymore. Maybe he realizes this and knows he can't make a 20 year old man(child) do something he doesn't want to do.
>>27569157
how does that matter to the situation?
>>27569185
this incident in and of itself maybe, but what it revealed about my father's (admittedly justified) new outlook/expectations of my life as a whole just makes me depressed.
>>27569223
I'm not expecting them to beg me to do it; my social anxiety has just increased so much I can't even find the will to interact with my some of my own family, which is why I refuse. It's literally the same as if you asked the average person to fight a lion. They'd refuse, too.
>>27569226
there's a satirical element to this place but a lot of it is real. you'll often get elements of both in the same post.
>>27569325
sometimes you just have to push yourself to do these things. i know it's rough getting out and interacting with people but it's your family. i think they'd just be happy to see you.
>>27569238
he could threaten to cut off some of the stuff he pays for. he could also probably convince my mom to kick me out.
Legally he can't do shit to make me do anything, but he has leverage. He has just (understandably) given up.
I hadn't yet. I thought I had plenty of time and would get my act together one day.
But his attitude struck such a blow and got me wondering if maybe if it's too late.
>>27569375
It'd be too awkward now. Even when I did interact with them years back I was always so moody/autistic.
I also have horrible trouble making eye contact, keeping a happy face (my neutral default face apparently looks miserable/pissed/bitch), enunciating in anxiety filled situations and thinking of any conversation whatsoever. My brain just freezes.
All in all it just seems to late to make amends, like even if I COULD converse with them like a person, it would just do more bad then good. And I can't. Especially with my past behavior toward them at the back of my mind.
But if I can't do it with family then how do I get out of the rut? This is what scares me.
>>27569388
>>27569456
It's never too late senpai. You just have to be willing to feel the unbearable feelings of anxiety. If you faint from anxiety, so what? If you look like a mean retard, so what? How much worse can it get?
But honestly, your family most likely would love to see you come out of your shell. They probably wouldn't hold your autistic teenage past against you. Just cause they've given up hope doesn't mean they wouldn't love to see you make it.
Like you said, if you can't do it with family, then how do you get out of the rut?
I believe in you fampai. Ball's in your court.
>>27569590
If I drove you somewhere and said "Ok when you get out of the car I want you to kill a lion with just a sword" would you do? COULD you do it?
No.
True, this isn't literal life and death, but it doesn't mean the situation won't be horrible and pointless.
If you were forced out of the car, you might find motivation to at least TRY to kill the lion, as it's life and death. Try as I might, I just couldn't summon the motivation to even TRY and talk to them like a decent person if I was forced out of the car.
Plus, looking like a retard who isn't trying is better than looking like a slightly less retarded person who IS trying (and frankly I think the anxiety from trying would cause me to look even MORE retarded than when I clearly don't try at all, if I could even make myself try,which I can't.
>>27570327
Most predatory animals are actually huge pussies, in fact a lion is LITERALLY a big cat aka huge pussy. They will bail if they think there's risk. A person standing up tall and being bad ass is super fucking scary even to big animals. I'm pretty sure I could murder the fuck out of a lion if I had a sword.
Why couldn't he just leave you at his house while he went to see the grandkids
And if her being "tired" from driving was an issue why did it take him 2 hours to leave
>>27569456
Nowadays people are more accepting of shut in aspies, back when you were 12 they were just spanked and sent to bed without supper
>>27569125
I don't get it, isn't a good thing that he allows you to decide family to be around.
I had my parents throughout my 20s begging me to be around my scumbag cousins that there's legitimate reasons to wish were dead.
Why don't you just talk to your dad about the fact that you're anxious as fuck about seeing them?
>>27569125
My dad doesn't even communicate with me. Once he found out I'm moving out of state he was super thrilled and excited that I'll be miles away.
In the beginning he didn't give two shits if I was a low life renting craigslist rooms from strangers. And only talk to him once every 5 months.
So what I'm saying is he loves you anon. And maybe you should go say hi to your emotional supporting family.
>>27570566
well then replace lion with a non-pussy beast
>>27570627
that actually was an option but I didn't know how long he was gonna be there and kinda wanted to go home anyway. It wasn't said til we were already driving that we were gonna stop there first.
when she called she wasn't at the park yet.
she called ahead of time to give him time to make plans.
>>27570693
not that much has changed in 8 years. I think he just lost hope, understandably so.
>>27570694
It's just what it's indicative of on a larger scale. See:
>>27569325 response #2
>>27570697
He knows. I think he's just given up on helping me get over it, which I think is justified, but it still kind of hurt to realize.
>>27571390
I know my dad loves me. When I say "give up on me" I just mean he no longer has any expectation for me to amount to anything other than a basement dwelling robot. Which is justified, given the evidence, but it still hurt to realize because I thought I was gonna crawl out of this rut eventually. Now I realize after that that it might be too late. My anxiety is just too strong.
>>27569456
OP, don't stress out about how you come across to your family. I say this in all seriousness, Just Be Yourself.
Yes you might be a total sperg but that's still better than shutting them out all together. And, unlike any other kind of relationship in the world, they will accept the effort alone, to some extent, and reciprocate tenfold.
And once you get comfortable enough with them again, you can, now that you have self awareness, practice not being a sperg without passing out.
Well, then prove your dad's (reasonable) attitude wrong. IF you're 20 you still have plenty of time to get your shit together. It'll be hard but you can do it.
>>27574183
>Kristen Bell
KEK!
>>27569125
yeah i get the feeling
it's hard when you feel like if you weren't so shitty maybe they would see you as part of a happy family
>>27569325
>comparing social anxiety to fighting a lion
All you had to do was get your autist ass out of the car and say hi to your brothers wife and nephews.
>>27574395
It's easy for you to say that if you don't have high levels of social anxiety.
For me there is as much crippling fear for social interaction as there is for some people fighting a lion. Maybe that's stretching it, fine, but when I read stories about the feelings people had when they had to take on dangerous feats, what they describe resonates with me so strongly and precisely.
my family doesn't like me for some reason. I never did anythng to harm them or even annoying them, but like all people in my life, no one wants VOLUNTARY contact with me. Oh well, at least I know what type of people they are.
And inb4 anyone says that if I wanted contact with them I could just call them and to that I completely agree, which is why I stay silent as well.
