Anyone else have the smelly butt issue?
>>27342144
Yes, especially after waking up. I like the smell.
Degenerates.
Both of you.
Shave your ass-hair moron
>>27342144
Stinky booty smelling in. I tend to fart a lot as well which really doesn't help.'m literally farting as I type this.I
>take a huge shit before class
>a few minutes into class a guy goes WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SMELL
>someone says "i was wondering that too, smells like someone shit themselves"
>class begins a witchhunt to find out who smells like shit
Yeah, when I've been farting away in front of my computer without showering for a week it does tend to smell kinda funky, I wonder why.
>>27342144
Have you tried washing it when you shower?
I know no one sees it when you're wearing clothes, but you still have to keep it clean.
Yeah dude I think it's cuz I overeat and the shit is crammed in so tight when I start to walk or do something it just fucking stinks like ass sweat.
Then I go to the bathroom and wipe and there's shit all over the toilet paper.
I think I used to but still not sure if it was all in my head or if it was actually me all those times where someone would say "Who farted??" "Damn man someone shat! >.<". I know that my asshole tends to get slick/oily and the muscles loosen up a few hours after I shit, so I always have to wash my booty after I shat if I'm going to go out anywhere. I haven't had that happen in a long time though with the rump paranoia, it stopped happening when I was in my Junior year in high school. I fucking hated 9th and some of 10th grade because of that shit.
>>27342484
but i shower once every week or two so that will only help for a fraction of the days im out
>>27342443
Learn to wipe properly, sport. Even better, finish the job with bidet/hand shower.
ITT: basic hygiene issues
>>27342144
No but my balls have a smell that can wilt flowers if I don't shower
>>27342443
Oh god, that's the worst. Then you start stressing and sweating, probably sweat down there too which makes it worse I'd imagine.
>>27342510
Well, why do you shower only once a week, and not every morning before going out of the house?
>>27342490
>Then I go to the bathroom and wipe and there's shit all over the toilet paper.
THIS
in an attempt to try and keep myself cleaner I always wipe my ass after I get out of the shower because wet shit is easier to wipe up than dried shit.
>>27342515
well wiping right isnt the problem the problem is that i dont wipe
Use the sink to wet the toilet paper, also if you like ripping out your hair, rip out your ass hair.
>>27342510
People with good hygiene shower daily. If you're ass stinks, then showering once every week or two clearly isn't enough.
>>27342556
dont want to waste more water and time, my showers take up to 45 minutes. also laziness and i dont like the feeling of being stripped of my natural body oils.
What the fuck is wrong with all of you?
>these are the people who call nonwhites subhuman for being nonwhite, when these fucks don't even wipe
>these are the people who use memes like "poo in loo" when they poo their pants
>>27342144
Protip: Get washcloth, soap up and scrub the fuck out of your asshole every shower. cleans the poop out after several scrubs
>>27342610
They don't have to take 45 minutes. You're making it sound like you can't just hop in, get clean, then get out. If I'm in a hurry, I can get in and out of the shower in 5 minutes or less.
Are you morbidly obese or physically handicapped? That's the only reason I could see someone NEEDING to be in the shower for that long.
>>27342653
im actually moderately fit. i might be mentally handicapped though. i have severe ocd which causes everything to take 5 times as long
>>27342628
Heh, I don't know man, I still don't know what the hell was happening with mine. I wipe thoroughly, I did at the time and I still do, maybe to a fault even. I also wash my asshole with antibacterial bar soap and water in the shower. I never got it checked out, but I think it might be because I used to take these massive dumps, almost like black cock type shits, and it loosed my boy poozsay over the years, my asshole is still in more of a slit shape than a starfish and it caused my gas inside of me to leak out or something?
But no, I was always one clean son of a bitch, especially on my ass/asshole, so not sure bro.
>>27342628
>these are the people that make fun of me for being a manlet
>>27342560
>what are flushable wet wipes
i used to have this problem and still do if i sweat throughout the day i guess and don't wash myself, but wipes and good showers keep it from being noticeable in public. there are a lot of remedies that im too lazy to do myself but like sleeping well and cold finishes in the shower do good things for sweating and health in general. i just do a good shower in the morning and then wash my ass again in the afternoon especially before sex. ez money.
>>27342628
I've thought about shaving my ass for better results but so far wiping after each shower has been the most effective.
>>27342753
Showering in the morning would benefit me greatly but I only really ever have to time to do it at night. Plus long hair takes a while to dry so there's that.
My ass doesnt smell like feces but i do have a very sweaty smell after i exercise or just walk around for a long time.
My ass smells like sweat even immediately after getting out of the shower and cleaning it throughly.
>>27342342
No.
Please don't listen to this man. You will have the wettest ass ever and when the hair grows back, it will be sandpaper. It itches constantily.
who else /hairy asshole/ here
>>27342880
extremely
>>27342880
...like shitting through a screen door, brah...
>>27342880
Yep, me as well. I think everyone has hair on their asshole or at least very close to it to some degree though.
- only shit before you shower, this means timing your BM before your daily shower
- yes, shower daily, scrub ass thoroughly with hot water and soap
- my ass is really good, my bf eats it out
>>27342510
theres your fucking issue, then
shower every day, or at the very least every two-three days
that's fucking disgusting, dude
>>27342880
My entire lower body is ridiculously hairy, but I have barely any hair on my upper body except for my arms and armpits. I also can't grow a beard.
>>27342443
>grade 5
>mom made some curry abomination for dinner the night before
>in class
>stomach rumbling
>pressure building
>oh god
>it's too much
>rip huge fart
>and another
>everyone in class laughs
>teacher calms class, move on
>fart again, loud
>everyone loses their shit
>continue farting
>smells absolutely wicked
>the class cannot contain themselves
>I cannot stop farting
>teacher asks me to leave the classroom because I am "disrupting the learning environment"
>go sit outside
thanks for dredging up that memory, god damn
damn im glad i dont have ass problems thats just sick
>>27342144
I used to but it went away when I fixed my diet and cleaned my asshole better.
>>27343009
>JENKINS! STOP FARTING!
>>27343009
Did you sheet yourself though?
clean your ass retard, I bet you don't use toilet paper, faggot
>>27343049
not quite but there was hell on the toilet that day
>>27342443
Third grade.
Also once due to BO in seventh grade. Happens if your parents JUST don't give a shit
>>27343064
assholes are dirty and will have poop on them no matter what. not wiping will just force it to dry up. in fact when i dont wipe im convinced that the dried up shit tightly conceals the asshole and prevents gasses and other bad smells from escaping
>>27342390vocaroo.Why
>>27343136
Damn that's foul, wipe the ass bro. Better yet wipe then shower, it just works.
>>27343113
this happened in college to me..
>>27342628
/r9k/ is the most racially diverse board on this site
In fact, statistically robots are more likely to be Indian/Asian manlets, unwanted mixed-race mutts or just beaners, We are probably the brownest board on 4chen
>>27343190
I don't know about that, but I'm brown too
never had ass problems but i have really bad armpit problems. when i was a kid i just didnt give a shit so it would smell so bad it would stain the room with stink. it was so bad it hurt to even breath it.
>>27342880
Anyone else here enjoy pulling their asshole hair out when they wipe? I usually do this.
>>27342144
>tfw your thighs rub together as you walk
>Tfw you get major swamp ass from sweating too much
I'm not even fat for fucking sake
>>27343258
yeah only cuz poo poo gets stuck on them. but it hurts lol
>tfw after a month of neglecting your hygiene you finally brush your teeth, take a shower, trim nails and wipe
now i have a whole nother month before i have to deal with taking care of myself again
>>27343190
Italian reporting in, we may not be white but we've still accomplished more than the "Aryan Master race" ever has and probably ever will.
I'd like to thank all of you for this thread, shit and fart related threads always put me in a good mood
You know you're a lost cause when you don't shave your balls and ass. It's like you are intentionally setting yourself to be a kissless virgin and repel the girls.
>>27343432
if u shave your ass and especily balls then u a fukn fag.
>>27343323
we wuz romans n shiet
>>27343432
reeee roasties get out amirite!?
am i true robot get guys
am i
am i
am i??
>>27343479
You know it mate, one day We'll be great again and we'll reclaim our Empire. But for now we need to uncuck the rest of Europe.
>>27343323
>>27343479
>>27343515
That's cool, paisans. But does your booty stank?
you're disgusting. clean your ass.
>>27343983
fuk u, clean the tip of this cock
I don't have this problem and I never have this problem, 99.99% of the time I can shit and then squat down naked after and smell nothing after I wipe.
The key is to be violently thorough, about 5% of the time when I wipe there's a little bit of blood by the end because of the force I use to wipe, but it's always sparkly clean.
How to get rid of this smell:
>shave ur asscrack hair
>wipe properly until everything is gone
>do it everytime
>wash your asshole in the shower with sope
>ayy lmao greentexterino we don't have it on reddit
>>27342610
"natural body oils" = surrounded by a miasma of BO and disgusting literally everyone who encounters you
learn how to take a quick 10 minute shower every day, it feels amazing
>>27343136
Well, today is as good a day as any other to learn that that you're wrong and that doesn't happen. You probably smell disgusting. Wipe, dude.
I was just shooting suboxone up my ass and got a generous wiff of asshole.
Kinda liked it.
>>27344241
this. you have to wipe until no more shit on toilet, you even have to stick toilet paper up ass a tiny bit. sometimes it might bleed because you have to wipe so much but better than dirty stinky bum
Wait were you guys told you smelled or did you notice on your own? I'm worried I might smell but am just too used to it.
How many of you smelly assed individuals also deal with skid marks in your underwear regularly?
>tfw eyes are red with a bit of discharge after waking
is shit getting into my eyes?
who /love their ballsweat smell/ here
>>27344780
I was never told I smelled and never smelled myself. It's just that things kept happening that would get me nervous/paranoid that it was me that smelled like ass. Someone sitting a row over and a couple of chairs up would say something like "Who shat?", a coach/assistant coach would ask who farted (though I could see that easily being someone else and not me). That sort of thing.
There was only one time that I smelled scat on me. It was in an art class in high school, and I started getting really self conscious about stupid, unrelated shit. I took refuge from feeling like that by putting my head down on my arms and into the desk, pseudo resting/sleeping (class was about 20 minutes left until school was out, last class of the day). I guess I started getting so nervous that I must've had serious swamp ass or something because I could smell scat coming up from me, my nose was right in the smell because of my sitting/resting position. Shortly after I first noticed it, the person sitting across the table from me said "hehe, I think someone shat themselves..", then I started really getting nervous/paranoid which didn't help.
When I got home, I checked my underwear to see if I had any leakage or anything, but my underwear was clean, I don't remember if my asshole was sweaty though, I probably checked that too but just don't remember.
>>27344909
Maybe you wrecked your sphincter nerves because you held your shit in as a child.
Also
>Not applying a coat of soft soap on your butthole before pooping.
I was never taught how to wipe or clean myself properly.
I seriously didn't figure out I had to clean my asshole in the shower until after high school. I just figured the soap and water got it.
I wipe till it bleeds and still get that dirty asshole itchy feeling. I was rowing at the gym once and got a wiff of myself and felt great shame, I smelled like literal shit.
Need a bidet.
>Spent years with everybody commenting I smelled like shit even though I wasn't shitting myself
>Started using Cottonelle wipes every time I so much as farted to prevent this and it still happened
The solution was shaving everything below my belt line. It stopped immediately, but I'm still afraid to get close to people because years of being treated like an incontinent will do that to you. I guess I can't help but hate everybody over it.
>>27345679
how the fuck do you shave your own ass? I cannot even imagine.
http://www.amazon.com/Fresh-Go-Travel-50-Count-Packages/dp/B0037KM8D2/ref=sr_1_3_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1458719007&sr=8-3&keywords=flush+and+go+wipes
Case of 12 packs, 50 wipes per pack. Lasts a long time and they flush. Fits comfortably in your pocket unless you're wearing skinny jeans but I doubt anyone with smelly ass issues would.
>tfw shaving my asshole and end up slicing my gooch
I can't imagine not showering every day if I have the ability to. Went on a month long road trip and only showered 5 times and wanted to kill myself I felt so dirty.
>>27343515
The only European country not currently cucked aside from the northeastern continentals is Hungary
>>27345704
That's pretty easy 2bh.
>either squat or sit down with weight on one ass cheek
>if you have a fat ass, use hand to pull cheek more apart
>shave
>repeat on other side
>if squatting just take a wide stance and shave from both sides of asshole
>check with fingers to see if there's any hair left
>shave taint by sitting on your ass and using one hand to pull cock and balls out of the way and shave away
This shit isn't really that hard.
Is this thread serious or is just some autism shoes level memery to make robots even more self conscious?
>>27345874
you sound like you're 11
Lose weight my "issue" went away after losing 10kg
>>27345874
Very serious, a little funny here and there, but damn serious.
lmao, and you faggots wonder why you're single
sometimes, I'll wipe and I'll wipe and I'll wipe and I'll wipe. I'll wipe till it hurts. I'll wipe deep and in every direction. I'll wipe until i get 3 clean wipes.
And still, 4 hours later I get the itchy dirty stinky asshole feeling that tells me I need to wipe my ass again.
I can only conclude that my ass must leak.
>>27345978
please read this >>27345538
>>27342635
but then you have a shitty washcloth, that's fucking gross
just wipe it down after you get out with TP or use baby wipes
>sitting down in a chair trying to be a normal human
>after some time, shift my weight around and realize that my ass feels slimy
>go the bathroom, yank pants down and wipe ass, expecting it to just be sweat
>check the paper and see a disgusting brown smear
>>27345538
>>27345989
... honestly that's a possibility. I did do that as a kid.
sigh... link to more info? what would I even google to get relevant information about this?
>>27342144
LOL FATASS PEPE
NOT ONLY HAS A STINKY ASS
HE ALSO HAS A SMELLY PEE PEE
>>27342443
>>27343009
Bahahaha you faggots
> Be 6-7
> I don't remember if I shat myself or if I just farted
> let's pretend I sharted
> starts smelling like shit
> little girl (6 also I guess?) starts smelling around
> I had perfume, placed strategically on my neck by my mom hours ago
> She says I smell good
> Blames the smelly part on an ugly fuck
kek
>>27345851
Do you even V4 faggot?
>>27346016
http://desustorage.org/r9k/thread/24650643/#24659950
>327lbs
>Can't wipe myself properly
>Always have a shit smell in my ass after using the toilet
>Try to avoid using the toilet in public
>At the train station last month
>HAVE to shit
>Can see no other option
>Go and do a shit
>Really uncomfortable
>Try my best to wipe afterwards
>End up overdoing it
>Accidentally overrun my hand
>Smear shit up my back along where I think my spine is
>too tired to keep wiping, just get up and leave hoping nobody will notice
>on the train
>Mild poop smell
>drop my PSP on the floor
>bend to pick it up
>feel my shirt lift up over my back
>hear gasps from the people behind me
>realise the shit smear on my back was briefly visible
>worried as fuck
>turn around
>"t-t-hat is just surgical poop to mark my spine for my spinal surgery oooh my back"
>pretend my back hurts
>slowly walk to the other end of the train moaning loudly
>sit down in the corner and start blubbing softly for the rest of the journey
>>27346066
What's that?I know it's not German because they're cucked to hell and back.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dF9V8POmuxg
>>27346097
I kek'd heartily anon.
>>27346098
Its alliance between poland slovakia czech republic and hungary. All of those countries opose immigration
>>27342711
No you don't have ocd.
>>27346117
Well they're doing a real good job
>>27346140
what makes you so sure of my psychological state anon
>>27346071
ohhhh my life.
>>27346175I know you're a male because it almost never happens to females.
>>27346097
>Smear shit up my back along where I think my spine is
>where I think my spine is
>think
Good thing I just started losing weight since I'm only 100lbs below you atm
>>27342560
>I always wipe my ass after I get out of the shower because wet shit is easier to wipe up than dried shit
If you washed properly in the shower you wouldn't need to wipe your ass afterwards. You're supposed to scrub your crack you know?
>put time and effort into creating a thread
>try and hope that it's worded coherently and will get at least a few decent replies
>hours pass, 0 replies
>fuck it, ill just lurk and reply to other threads
>Who here sweats from their ass a lot?
>111 replies
Kill me now fampai.
>>27342762
>wiping after each shower has been the most effective
Again, if you clean your ass properly in the shower, you shouldn't need to wipe afterwards you dirty twat
>>27342510
>>27342560
/r9k/ confirmed for shit tier hygeine.
jesus fuck dudes were you raised by single dads?
>>27342628
this is why I could never take any sort of racism on 4chan seriously.
27346694
I'm not going to give a y.0u
>>27342443
>2nd grade is over
>school is doing a "graduation" party or whatever
>outside near a playground
>I really need to rip a fart
>30 minutes passes
>pressure building up
>go to the playground because no one is there
>slide down the slide while farting
>what is that smell.jpeg
>looks down in pants
>huge shit in my underwear
>panic
>friend comes over and asks if we can play or do something after school
>"yes, sure."
>at friend's house
>jumping on a trampoline
>shit jumps back and forth in my underwear
>after a few hours I get home
>underwear is completely brown of shit and smells fucking terrible
Luckily enough no one seemed to notice or just didn't say anything. That was probably one of my most embarrasing moments.
god i love r9k..
thanks for makin me feel better about myself..
>>27342144
Yes, my dad is unblocking the toilet for me as I type.
>>27342144
I'm shitting as I read this thread
>>27347751
>accidentally shitting yourself while trying to fart
Is this really a thing?
I do have this problem but only when i exercise.
I don't know, i sweat a lot and i start smelling like wet shit. I tried everything.
Maybe i have the famous pilonidal cyst.
>>27342977
I'm almost the exact same, I do have a beard though.
>>27347328
I acctually was. Why is it relevent? Don't get it.
Glad to see I'm not alone.
On a some what related note I once shit my self in public. I had drinking heavily for a week. Wanted to fart but liquid shit came out. Went to a gas station, washed myself and throwed away my undies. All good.
Bleedegableedorpbloopabeedoo
>>27345874
The autism shoe thing is very real. I remember noticing the entirety of the autist table at my shitty community college cafeteria wore variations of the same new balance running shoes.
>>27343266
Reading about you guys's swamp ass is a god tier appetite suppressant
>>27342144
ITT:people don't wipe their asses
You're all degenerate
My biggest fear in life is going to prison and having to shit in close proximity to another person. I need tons and tons of wipes and have to basically finger my ass. I also use water on the tp but I think most prison toilets are those sink combos so that's alright.
>>27351952
What the fuck do you eat?
>>27343190
You're wrong. Non-whites can not be robots
Yes, I do in fact I gas everyone who i sit next too I get a lot of personal space too due to my 2 foot radius of fap must
>>27352069
>cum on stomach several times
>can't shower because toilet was unclugged with a snake and the snake was cleaned in the shower meaning the shower drain was clogged with feces and toilet paper
>visit parents smelling like cum
a day in the life
>>27343190
Mutt reporting in. END.MY.LIFE. Is there anything worse than being denied your basic right to be associated with a race? Only upside is that I'm not uggo like the rest of you but I still hate every cell in my body, I'm a product of sheklestein's media shills and its fucking awful.
>>27352064
>Another no one different then me can be a robot post
This is the only thing I've really noticed is consistent in robots. You fuckers live to draw imaginary lines between yourself and everyone else, even people just like you.
>>27352157
nice line you're drawing there, mate
>be in first day of job
>had this urge to shit
>on the way to the bathroom decide to let a fart go out
>feel wet in my pants
>fuckmylife.png
>the mark of shit it's noticeable in my pants
>decide to leave without saying a word in lunch time
>never came back
>they paid me the week completely
they angrily call me later knowing I didn't come back and pay me for free kek
>>27352182
Oh I know I'm not a robot. I think either owning a house or having a long term gf disqualified me. But if you'll let me, I'll happily be part of your clique good buddy.
>>27352220
GET THE FUCK OFF MY BOARD DUMB NORMALFAG YOU AND YOUR NON-WHITE FRIENDS CAN'T BE ROBOTS
>smelly butt issue
>141 replies
never change /r9k/
heres one of my fart stories
>be around 8-9 years old
>in class
>we sit in a circle on the floor and discuss instruments
>i feel the need
the need for farts
>fart without making a sound
>it smells TERRIBLE
>kids around me notice
>when i notice how they change their expression from the smell i start laughing uncontrollably
>rip out another fart, again completely quiet
>its so bad kids move away from me
>start laughing like a fucking retard again
>teacher tells me to go outside until i farted my gasses out
i still smile when thinking about it.
>>27343258
I do this too. I basically have an afro around my asshole
>>27352064
Good. Don't think I'd fit in. I take regular showers and wipe my ass. Total untermensch
>>27346694
Your not alone anon I make the supream threads they are magnificent, but users instead go for short, poorly typed trashy threads instead of mine. It's not fair, it's an injustice.... I will have my vengeance on you all for denying me replys all of you.
>>27342144
only once on the day where i went on my first date
remember to never pucker your asshole to cut off the shit, just let it out on its own.
>doing internship at pharmacy yesterday
>filling prescriptions like normal
>suddenly smell fart
>ass feels sort of slimy but figure its not me
>co-workers are around me but figure the fart smell must be me
>finally overhear another co-worker say "whats that smell?" behind me
>get thats its probably me
>excuse myself to the bathroom
>wipe ass
>mix of brown and sweat, ass feels dry now
>smell gone
Not my fault my ass sweats, you cant expect me to wipe 100% of it though i did not shower that morning
>>27355342
>you can't expect to not walk around caked in shit
Scum
