/britchildhood/
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>learn about celtics in the morning
>trading and playing with gogo crazy bones with your mates during break and lunchtime
>learn about photosynthesis in the afternoon
>walk home from school and pop into the local pakishop for some snacks
>come home and watch some CBBC while munching on a packet of space raiders
>have a dinner of bangers, mash and green beans
>finish up my multiplication homework ready for tomorrow
>snuggle up in bed wearing my pokemon pajamas
>stay up all night playing Pokemon Red on my red Gameboy pocket
Take me back to Primary school. I want to be a kid living in 90/00s Britain again. Maybe even Secondary school if you have some good stories.
Space Raiders and Monster Munch were my life
>>27287450
>pajamas
yank detected
who /transformasnacks/ here
>that one kid who stank of piss and shit and would exploit this during the hot spring/early summer to claim the wendy house by stinking it out so bad none of the rest of us could stand to go in there
Fuck you Stephen, I hope you're on benefits
>>27287450
>>27287517
>>27287550
bobby's snax were goat
>>27287554
>I hope you're on benefits
you say that like it's a bad thing
>being poor and buying space raiders
>those poor kids that had rola cola instead of coke
>>27287554
>those kids whose school jumper sleeves were always damp at the ends
the blue was caused cancer and death
Going round to mates houses to play ps1, n64 and then ps2 games.
Eating fish fingers and alphabites/smiley faces with tons of ketchup.
My mum'd make the best spaghetti bolognese (god rest her soul) - and I'd eat that with ketchup too
Playing bulldogs, cops and robbers, gun games and jumper wars.
Pretending to be characters from video games and play fighting.
Buying Zappers bubblegum and eating it in one go (fucking hell might have to buy some of those from Amazon)
Staying up late at night and watching Eurotrash but keeping the remote in hand to change the channel in case Mum wakes up and catches me watching naughty stuff
Zap ice cream!!
Best days were when the new issues Official Playstation Magazine would be in the Newsagents, getting mum/dad to buy it - and playing the demo discs for ages.
Also listening to my brother's music whether it was drum and bass, rock/metal or hip hop was mindblowing as a kid.
ngl this show doomed me to be a weeb
>doing a wicked knee slide at the school disco and being the talking point of the class the next day
who /Cardcaptors/ here?
first anime I ever watched apart from pokemon
Crazy boners were the shit. I remember they were banned in my school because of stealing and fights. We felt so badass with secret underground crazy bone network.
>>27287681
fucking kek
>not having ripped baggy jeans and slicing your knees open as you skidded
Rubbing two of these together back-to-back trying to make them pregnant.
>>27287693
Much as I hate to be a weeb, the Jap version is much better. But the english intro theme is still one of my favourites ever
>>27287713
these cunts always stuck to the carpet
>>27287649
Fucking loved these.
Glad we still have space raiders.
>>27287585
Tangy Toms as well
Lads, am I autistic for being the one who has that massive linkdumb of all those old shows?
(I didn't post them all)
>>27287693
Me la
Times where so simple.
>get to leave school early for doctors appointment
>it's at 3 o'clock so not coming back afterwards
>everyone else is secretly mad but act like they don't care
>>27287714
>>27287749
the intro was such a banger
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ERpK-7K70ws
>>27287706
They were so shit. OMG, crazy bones kids used to get bullied by the kids with poke-mon and bay-blade's (gay-blade's when they became unpopular).
PLEASE take me back to 2001. Fuck, life was so simple.
>putting money together from 10 and 20ps with your mates for about 50 of these after playing footy at the park
>>27287693
I'm kind of amazed how many people watched this.
I think they replaced it with Astro Boy at some point, and that was really good too.
>lived 30 mins from school
>starts snowing in my local area
>receptionist comes in
>"anon you're allowed to go home now because of the snow, your mum's on her way to pick you up"
>mfw as I walked out of class at 9:30am
I remember when I had a crush on this girl in year 10 and she fancied me back loads. We'd always look at each other and get all shy, giggling, laughing, but both never had the courage to talk to each other
Sat next to her in ICT once and she found me fascinating and we pranked wikipedia. I got her MSN and we always spoke after school. I always tried to build up the courage to ask her out but couldn't.
I eventually did online and went on a date!!! My mum dropped me off near the cinema and we went McDonalds and cinema.
Should've gone well but I didn't shower, was dead awkward, couldn't look her in the eye, we watched 40 year old virgin (worst film to watch as school kids on a first date ever) and then she dumped me online.
:( I kinda wish that I could go back to that one moment, and maybe have just gone out with her as a proper girlfriend for ages.
I had to wait til year 13 for that to happen. Oh well.
>>27287772
Used to buy like 10 at a time or something. Even in secondary school people used to make a killing off of selling them.
>>27287736
> Giving a fuck about your parents carpet when you were a kid.
What sort of shit childhood did you have?
>>27287693
I always preferred DigimonSora was my waifu before waifus
>>27287750
>kid gets called to come with them by a teacher
>his parents must have died
>when you had to make a load valentines day cards for the class and post it in the shitty cardboard postbox
>acting like you don't care if you get any but secretly hope you get more than everyone else
>>27287713
i remember chucking these at my bedroom wall then shitting myself when they left a mark
>>27287774
desu I've asked my mates in the past and they've never heard of it, you lot are the only ones I've spoken to even know if its existence
>>27287808
>Sora
You basic as fuck. Bet the Green Ranger was your jam too
I remember when I'd end up being ill coughing/puking at school but I'd make it even worse so I could go home and then lie in bed for ages and be like "YES!!!! IM ILL!!! NO SCHOOL!!!"
>>27287798
didnt care about the carpet mate, they got carpet all over them
This and a Taz bar on the walk home from school. Oh, and a Dr Pepper if they were doing the 20p a can offer
>>27287795
>people climbing under fences to get out then coming back with bags full acting like kings
Sherbet. Could never finish one.
>>27287774
>mfw I have some of these in the freezer right now
>>27287772
eating these on a summers day, sitting in the local field, people from all around your neighbourhood playing football, talking and having fun
i can feel it now man.
>>27287847
Snort it senpai
>>27287826
and watch this morning with richard and judy or educational shows for kids on bbc2
>>27287836
these were so fucking good
>anon it's your turn in goals this time, and we'll trade you out at half time
>MFW half time never came
>MFW it was always my turn to be the keeper
>tfw going to the school disco
>girls on one side of the hall, boys on the other
>necking pixie sticks like they're going out of fashion
>watery orange juice
>babycakes blasting over the sound system
>sliding around on your knees
>lads piercing their own ears in the bogs
>started primary school in '89
>grew up watching the best cartoons
>climbing trees erryday
>video games were a new thing, excitement levels off the chart
>going through multiple footballs a month
>all those myths and legends people would come up with at school; the Grey Lady, the Green Man, there's a giant buried under the playground
>Power Rangers came along and completely changed how kids played
>swapping stickers
>boglins and trolls
>school janitor runs a little tuck shop at break time
>all the 10p "crisps" in the world
>missing a day of school and staying home or going about with your mum was a completely alien experience
>ice pops
>video games after school, Atari 2600 was amazing until the SNES and Mega Drive blew my fucking mind
>started high school in '97
>slowly realised that everyone but me is a cunt
>bullied for years until I found new friends and started playing in a band
>learning a whole new skill I didn't know I could do
>playing gigs at school not giving fuck one
>skipping most of the classes in 6th year to hang out in the student hall drawing all day
I know it's a cliched thing to say but I really do want to go back. The fantasy of going back in time knowing everything I know now is so fun to me.
>>27287765
JUST fucking end it. I want to go back.
>putting emo song lyrics in your MSN sub-name thing
glorious, the emo crowd was based af so much drama everywhere it was great
>>27287866
>playing footy
Fuck off school normie
>tfw breaking your wrist playing footie
>getting the most obnoxiously coloured cast
>getting all the lads and girls to sign it
>it's a kid who got suspended and hangs outside the school gates episode
>>27287864
...you're forgetting The Herbs
>>27287878
>not having 'the lads' and 'the girls' listed in your screen name
>>27287693
Cardcaptors was pretty awesome actually. Sakura was my waifu.
did anybody else have to stand against the wall when they were a little shit at break?
>>27287891
footy in primrary school, bulldog in high school with all the senpai's
come on senpai you know this
>>27287898
>it's a kid who pisses off every contact on his MSN list with nudges and winks episode
>>27287741
Fucking hell I'm so old that Tangy Toms have actually doubled in price.
>>27287847
> TFW got bored with liquorish, ate it, had a half tub of sherbet left Tried to down it in one, and sneezed all over the place.
>tfw shit like this was always on on days off
>that one lad who pulled his trousers down to piss
this episode still unnerves me
legit gave me nightmares for years
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Z7lJR9FNf8
>>27287923
Once in primary, and that was the one day I took a knife in because a Year 6 told me to. Fucking nearly ran off grounds in panic
>>27287878
>nathan 3r3 2k7 <3 <3 luvin amy <3 <3
>>27287866
>that one day you break out of goal and run the ball around all the football kids to score on your own
>some salty cunt tries subtly to move their jumpers closer together thinking nobody will notice
>you're a hero for about thirty seconds, then never get picked again because you're the punching bag
>you don't get to win
How many times did you get rused by the intro?
>>27287924
>tfw bulldog got banned nation wide because some girl broke her spine
git gud
>>27287928
>that kid that made group convos with like 50 people and then left
>>27287948
>"why did you take my name out of tour msn name anon?"
>>27287942
ptsd from that bloody bear
>>27287878
>mfw was a tall good looking but nerdy guy who could handle himself
>mfw this made the leader of our group in school where the rest of our group were all smelly fat beta males and even more spergy than me
>mfw I hated emos even then and used to torment them and bully them and rallied my army of spergs to do the same
>mfw the school principal had to threaten a month of 'The Unit' (an isolation room - you'd get lunch last and have to stay in later)
>mfw I still terroized them but never got shit done because my head teacher really liked me (I'd have 20 anons in my class if I could! - she said to my dad at parent's day)
Ahhhh to be a tyrannical nerd king again.
>when the entire rival school shows up outside the gates
>>27287878
>signing back in when someone you like comes online in hopes that they'll start a conversation with you
>tfw go to Macro and buy these in bulk once a month
Cant find the Cheese ones though
>>27287959
don't even fucking get me started
don't know how it tricked me so many times
https://youtu.be/UkaXl7Fyf1Y
>Forced to have a learning support helper because you have aspergers
>Crying all the time because you can't understand why you aren't normal like the rest
>Feeling like a victim being bullied by everyone because you have aspergers
>Screaming at your special support group that you hate everything because you'll never be normal
>"I just want to be normal but I'm not"
>"I don't want extra help, I can learn fine on my own"
>The frustration of being cursed with affliction you don't understand,
>Feeling trapped almost having a mental breakdown at one point
sorry, these were some of the worst moments of my life amongst all of the good times
I got better I've had a job and multiple GFs now but it still stains me even to this day
And I'm friends with people from school so they will always see me in the same way as "that guy"
sorry
>hey
>hi
>wuu2
>nm u
>homewrk :/
>ah
>g2g
>k
>>27287898
hahahahahaha
fuck me this is too real
>>27287963
>banned nationwide
I did break my friends toe playing it so that was pretty cool. It was also banned in my school but we kept playing it for 5 years
>>27288005
*nudge*
When that girl you didn't fancy would always message you and it was well annoying and you had to say you were busy and then block her temporarily
daryl the dragon
>that episode where PJ gets blinded
wew
Did every school have a smokers tree?
>>27287924
They banned bulldog in my school because I always volunteered to be bulldog then conspired with jocks to sabotage people in return for me letting them go by.
>>27287999
I know these feels. At the time, the teachers didn't know a lot about it. I guess they assumed it meant I was some sort of learning diffy. Everyone took the piss until I left school.
>>27287959
every fucking time, jesus christ
>>27287991
>it's a Jeremy drowns in the school pool episode
>>27288041
Smokers wall
I think we were retarded, like we thought that because we were at the back of the school the teachers had no idea we were smoking there.
>>27287821Fuck you for being right
Was once friends with a guy who had a list of girls written in his school planner that he fancied and was going to ask out
Literally he got someone else to ask a girl out for him and she started crying hysterically and there was tons of drama in RE about it
/Chucklevision/ anyone?
>>27288038
All them QT geordie sloots who you just know will gobble your knob for a bottle of Newcy Brown
>>27288046
>jocks
fuck off Yank
>>27287963
We subtly changed it's name to "island game" to avoid the school's ban. Nobody ever questioned it
>kid kept soiling themselves
>got us all out of pe many times for the cleaners to disinfect everything
>normie twats absolutely fuming every time
emily you absolute unfortunate saint ahahahahahah
>when you start 'going out' with someone and they have the same last name as you but your not related
>>27287836
Poundland sells 6-packs of Roysters m8s
Mr Blobby Pink Lemonade
>tfw the crowd that gathers when you're snogging your girlfriend
>do u wont 2 go out wiv me?? xx
>no sry xx
>lol tht woz my m8 sry xx
>wuu2 n e way?
[rebekah <3 <3 is now offline]
PREPARE TO BE SMACKED BY NOSTALGIA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dCS0Ora5n-o
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JQwYiPwkwbc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ob24IMbI6gM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cFqCl_GvHe0
>tfw watching all of this in school
>>27287959
literally every sick day I had
>>27288081
But anon I eventually distanced myself from my reality by being American online and now I have become my mask please not the face
>at school one day
>hey anon elizabeth likes you do you like her
>i don't really but yeah i guess
>you should go out
>break time comes, she's with her friends, i'm with mine
>friends sort of push us together
>we act all nervous and stuff
>the others go and do their own thing
>'ha they're so weird aren't they'
>'yeah lol'
>it is never brought up again
>it's a 'I couldn't do my work because I wasn't able to spell a single word on account of my dyslexia and so I spend my whole lunch break inside crying alone trying to my work' episode
I never liked those episodes, happened a lot.
Anyone know what I'm talking about?
>>27288116
You know for a fact that nobody here had a girlfriend in school
>it's a five fights in one lunch time episode
>>27287959
Holy shit, I completely forgot about this. I thought I was the only one.
>>27288119
Forgot to add
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HxpKpdHWPRc
>tfw you will never cyberbully the school autists on bebo again
>Playing summertime football in the park until the sun set and it was literally too dark to see the ball
>Finding a dead, decomposed sheep down by the river and launching a 3-man investigation into what killed it
>Discovering a stack of Page 3s and Sunday Sports hidden in a bush
Those were the days lads.
>>27288127
oh yeah, i had """dyslexia""" too. me and 100 other kids who wanted extra time on exams
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ky3wOFEYutU
>>27288136
>"""fight""" consisted of two lads pushing each other shouting 'GO ON THEN' with a big crowd until a teacher came and broke it up
>>27288127
literally everybody at primary had dyslexia, convinced they were just thick
>>27288107
Simpsons ones were better
>>27288130
>tfw I was one of the cool kidz in primary school but it all went to shit when i went to high school
who /piczo/ here
I was a master of HTML by the time Myspace came around
charged a fiver to do up normies' profiles
>>27288149
I felt like a proper adult watching an adult tv-show when the kids become older teenagers
>>27288160
nigga the real fight happened outside of school. The school "fight" was just to spread the word
>>27288160
HOLD ME BACK
>>27288154
Suck mate, I've got good use out of that extra time now.
one time in my primary school some kids trashed the boys toilets so every boy in the school had to spend all lunch time and break time in the assembly hall until someone owned up to it
lasted for about a week
don't think the person that did it was caught
>>27288185
I had one but that was in the last year of high school.
I remember me and my mates digging up the pavement trying to a 'queen ant'
I've waited so long for this to come back lads
What a time to be alive
>>27288160
>That one kid that punched the PE teacher and then ended up fighting
Based Mr. Powell
>oi anon, Billy BigBollocks in year 9 said he wants to fight you
>>27287713
THEN THEY MADE ONES THAT WERE PREGNANT, AND YOU PUSH THE BABIES OUT OF THE HOLE IN THE BACK
Those motherfuckers just wanted to make kids believe
>>27288119
Come Outside was the GOAT.
>going on the girls piczo sites to see if they say anything about you
>check out the 'rate' links
>see that you're on there against a guy you don't even know
>everyone says you
>best feeling in the world, but act as if you don't care or have even seen it
>sean kingston beautiful girl playing on everyones mobiles
>playing isketch with your mates on msn and cheating when it's your turns and feeling cheeky af
>going into roleplay rooms on isketch with your friends
>>27288205
when is it coming back on tv
>>27288189
This
>tfw that one fight that went on for hours and hours until everyone just walked off in boredom
>>27288205
it seemed cool when you were little but if you watch it now it's crap
just a bunch of neeks playing with toys
>those kids who would tuck their shirt/school jumper like pic related to look "cool"
>>27288177
I never saw or had these :(
I'd love to try em now
You could also get the Fruit Salad and Blackjack drinks
>>27288150
>the absolute shitstorm that happened every time someone gave their 'love' for the day to supposedly the wrong person
>>27288160
Nah m8, every fight I was in ended with a swift kick to the shin
No one survived a kick to the shin
>>27288200
similar thing happened at my school, some kid "took one for the team" and owned up to it even though he didn't do shit
if your tie was anything longer than 2 inches don't talk to me
>>27287669
Zappers were bubblegum? Fuck man I swallowed those all the time, lemon ones were the shit
>>27288247
maybe we went to the same school :3
>>27288136
I had a fight with some guy in primary school. I got him in a headlock after he tried to kick me unsuccessfully. He kept saying he knows karate and that he'll hurt me if I don't let go.
All because he thought I moved his hat.
<<<----------- If this cunt didn't send you into mindless rage at least 5 times, you didn't actually have a childhood.
I broke 3 game-boys because of this cunt. At one point, I didn't actually think it was beat-able.
Stupid slut Whitney, I hope she gets raped. Ruined my childhood.
>>27288246
you weren't that wanker who went around kicking everybody in the shin were you?
>it's a rob the ball of the year 7's and run like a madman while 50 of them are chasing you episode
>>27288259
If you used the thick side of the tie (kipper) then don't talk to me
>tfw that one substitute teacher that was so shit everyone cheered when he walked in
PRIT-STIX ON THE CEILING
>>27288221
It's already been filmed so it might be on TV as soon as sometime next month
>>27288259
>wearing a tie
lmaoing at your life
>have a very old, kind and loving teacher for RE
>learning about muslims and Mohammed
>some controversy between students as a lot of us stereotyped muslims as terrorists
>told us not to be judgemental and to accept their culture, etc
>mfw first task was to design a poster about Mohammed and she had no idea it was blasphemous to draw him
>>27288272
There is literally a woman trading a Machop in that city. One fucking hit and that fat cunt dropped. This was not hard, you were just shit
>>27288273
I usually waited for them to pick on me, but I was small and had glasses so it didn't take long
>it's a new girl joins your year episode
not sure why I cared, never talked to them
>>27288263
did you pull the pipe out of the toilet anon? you cost me valuable dinner breaks
>tfw most people don't know their great-great grand parent's names
>tfw it'll happen to you and life is passing you by
>>27288224
HAHAHAHA, OMFG, PLEASE TAKE ME BACK.
Or wearing a coat as a cape trying to look hard.
>it's Kevin Kunty thinks he's cool because he hangs around with the smoking year 9s
>>27288281
>the Spanish sub that was made to teach French
He literally couldn't speak English
>>27288274
you mean year 6s? or was your primary and secondary together
>>27288260
I ate em anyway lmao
Remember sourballs or fireballs
Those were sick too
>>27287942
This fucker made me cry when I was younger. You have triggered me. It's still fucking creepy
Jamie Oliver taking away turkey twizzlers the absolute nob
>>27288306
wasn't me i was a god boy i dindu nuffin
also i remember at one point we were asked to write down who we thought it was on a piece of paper and put it in a box lmao
Okay, everyone I tell this to acts like it was only my primary school, so someone PLEASE agree with me on this.
>Thas nang ohhh snap
>I'm a gangster blad thas nannnggg
All the niggers saying the word nang?
>>27288330
Fireballs were awful. Cinnamon is a crap sweet flavour
If you weren't forced to watch this, you had no childhood
>tfw made megabucks selling doughnuts and cookies at school out of a sports bag
even had the PE teacher buying a pack off me once
Being one of the uncool nerdy kids who would eat lunch in the "memorial garden" with other nerds :(
>>27288296
I don't want a shitty Machop. I want the XP from that fucker for my Bayleef.
>>27288344
yes
did you do the thing where you whack your fingers together?
>>27288355
Literally every school
>>27288344
>having black students
>>27288355
>having a memorial garden
What sort of schools did you go to?
>>27288355
>memorial garden
what is this?
>>27288281
We had a substitute Chemistry teacher in Year 7 who was so old that almost all of his sense were gone or dulled at best, so we used to pretend we could smell gas every lesson so the room would be evacuated and we'd stall the hour out.
>mfw he'd then set the work we didn't have time to do as homework and then always, always forget about it the next week, not that we did it
>>27288340
holy shit. i think we may actually have gone to the same school
>>27288344
yeah I remember that senpai
>blasting out AIR ON THE ROADS and JME through your walkman phone at the back of the bus, top deck on the way home from school
>tfw punching someones BCG jab
>it's a replaceing the beefburgers with disgusting gamon butger because of the BSE crisis episode
>tfw staying indoors because the bullies just learnt about happy slapping
>>27288351
Nah mate they were sick, they were for hardcore kids only
Sourballs were far superior tho
>>27288380
we once set the clock back half an hour in our final period so when the bell went for half way through the lesson he let us out
started shouting out the window as we bolted across the playground when he realised hahaha
Going to London for the first time and thinking "where the fuck did all these brown people come from"?
>>27288365
YES
YES
FUCK THAT THING, I COULD NEVER DO IT BUT EVERYONE ELSE COULD
anybody else play SLAM which was kicking a ball against a wall, and if you hit it more than twice, or missed the wall you got an S and so on.
also
>that one retard who would always miss the goal, and it'd go over the fence onto the road and you'd have to go all the way round to retrieve it.
>when you swot knotted someones tie so badly, they had to cut it off with scissors
>>27288407
My school only did turkey burgers
>>27288419
I still can, but it hurts like fucking hell
>>27288379
>>27288369
Just some "garden" near the playground with tons of bushes and stones
Lunch was great though, would always have cheese sandwich with a chocolate bar, some crisps and ribena for my drink :)
anyone else play arses up
>>27288369
I'm in north london, super black area. Mostly turkish, but lots of black people.
There were still mostly whites dw
>going past your old primary school on the bus and seeing that 75% are african
>>27288389
How about everyone crying before getting the BCG
fucking pussies
>>27287808
You should check Digimon Adventure tri
Also Sora has the best ass
>>27288424
>swot knot
it was peanutting at my school
Our class was 9 guys and like 26 girls
But I was the only kid willing to be goalie so I got some trash talking immunity and got to be an early football pick. Was good to have strategies.
>>27288303
I know that feel.
>maybe this will be the one who likes me.
Never happened, though.
>Ice Cream and jelly for dessert day
>morning assembly full of bible stories
>having to say prayers and sing hymns
>having to say grace before lunchtime
>those 3 kids who never had to do any of that and you didn't know why
You seriously don't think about all the religious shit they force down your throats until you look back at it all
OKAY EVERYONE ITS TIME TO PLAY HEADS-DOWN-THUMBS-UP
>Those cunts who would squeeze more than one person's thumb just to fuck with everybody
This;
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ukrqih5BWx0
>>27288441
>ribena
>[sirens intensify]
>>27288445
We had one chinese and no blacks. maybe I wouldn't be so racist if I'd met a black kid when I was a kid
Bleep test
>it's a 'teacher literally chases away a paedo who was lurking at the back of the school field' episode
>>27288281
>>27288324
this so much.
in secondary we had this new spanish teacher who was so too laid back for his own good and slowly realised this as time went by. he slowly tried to turn the tide and become an authoritative figure, but it was too late...and he eventually accepted his position.
I remember my first GCSE drama lesson and I was dead excited cause I loved drama in year 7-9
But then I got separated from all of my mates and the only person in my class I knew was a disabled kid and the rest were all normies who bullied me :(
>going on a school trip somewhere
>pulling up next to a coach full of another school
>putting your fingers up and giving them shit out the window
>>27288455
went past my old primary a few weeks ago.
it's weird seeing it all over again, there was a paki school right down the road from it that i completely forgot about
thinking back on it i had a crush on one of the birds there
>>27288487
Only think I was ever good at for PE
>>27288472
;_;
>tfw after a promising first day she ends up being like the rest of the girls
One of my maths teachers was a literal paedo who would get girls to stand up on their chairs and he'd walk by and look up their skirts
He got fired obviously
>>27288494
fucking kek this happened at my school
turns out he was an old bloke with dementia bless him
>>27288497
>liking drama
You deserved to be bullied tbqh f a m
>>27288521
wtf how long was he doing this for?
anyone else have a way of sneaking out of school? There were a few places in mine where the fence was dug out underneath so kids could get out but teachers would have to run all the way to the gate and around to get them back
>>27288497
>taking a doss subject
you deserved it
>>27288455
My primary school was 100% white when I went. The neighbourhood I grew up in is now very popular with commuters and people who are generally new to the area so the school has filled up with various diverse niggers.
>tfw two teachers got into a heated argument in front of your class
>>27288494
>It's a new teacher shows up one day and immediately, one his first day at break time, 2 hours after school starts he walking around the playground, pinching his nob through his trousers and following and leering at all the kids
>mfw he was then gone in the second half of the day
Now that I think about it - he may have never been a teacher but a pedo in disguise. I saw some of the other teachers in the yard looking on in horror and slowly, every student started to notice him too.
It was like he was possessed and couldn't help himself being surrounded by 250 shota arses.
What a fucking weird day.
>>27288476
tbf catholic schools where GOAT compared to the other trash schools that were around
>church of england schools
yall know they were awful
>>27288547
>>27288537
kek
It's ok, I remember when I got really emotional over this oneitis who didn't fancy me back and I said I loved her (oh god) so I got angry and drank this "leftover beer" in my brother's room...
Turns out he'd been using it as an ashtray so I was ill for a week and missed my final drama exam
I still got a C
win
>>27288542
Our front gates were never closed so you could walk out whenever
>>27288565
how is your dad by the way
>first person gets a camera phone
>that first time you see a woman getting fucked by a horse in low resolution, surrounded by 6 lads and 1 girl
>>27288567
I was giving examples from a CoE school. No idea about Catholic ones
>>27288478
>you get picked to squeeze the thumb
>that one kid who never got picked because his thumb looked like a crocodile and a shark had a tug of war over it
>>27288541
Too long just cause it was only rumours through school so no teachers believed it, but then he did mysteriously disappear at one point as well
>Teacher was loved by everybody and, by student vote, got an entire school building named after him
>Last year it turned out he was a pedophile who had been grooming students since the 80s
>They changed the name of the building
Fucking brilliant
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/people/robert-peston-there-was-sex-abuse-at-my-secondary-school-9651458.html
Did anyone else ever cover a teachers car in bread crumbs or crisps and watch the seagulls shit all over it?
>>27288585
What do you mean?
0
>bluetoothing songs to each other
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sqK7SkwNDMY
Only Fools Break The Rules
It's another "guy sticks his head out the train window and gets it cut off by a passing train" episode
It's another "kid climbs up an electric pylon and dies" episode
>>27288516
>after a promising first day she ends up being like the rest of the girls
Right in the gut. They'd always get "assimilated" by them, for lack of a better term. Dead depressing.
>"I see you chose to do cooking GCSE anon. Well cooking looks to be full and you're really good at textiles, would you do that instead?"
>refuse and get told it's textiles or nothing
>"you're really good at textiles though anon, in fact your textiles teacher wants to speak with you about it"
>go to textiles teacher expecting some pandering bullshit about how i'm a master of fabric or whatever
>"anon you never finished the required amount of work for my textiles lesson, please come back after school every day until it;s finished
>head of year had to lie to me to make me not take her cooking lesson at GCSE
>I had to spend all summer thinking i was stuck doing a shit textiles course for two years
>MFW i go back in september and find i'm on the resistant materials course
>mfw my sexy in a dominating way English teacher who was showing me pictures of her dogs ended up snogging a student at the 6th form formal and was sent to another school
>mfw my art teacher left his sex tape on the school laptops and the whole 6th form bore witness to his FAT PINK MAST pumping in and put
>mfw he was fired
>mfw I saw it on the news the same day
>>27288650
>kids go to a farm
>find a grave
>one by one all die in avoidable accidents
>always hear stories about caretakers being paedos to the point where it pretty much becomes a stereotype
>read in the local paper a few years back that our old caretaker at my old secondary school had been arrested for molesting and raping a girl in the toilets there
Did anyone have a caretaker at their school who WASN'T a kiddy-fiddler?
>>27287450
Are you me?
>>27287669
Are you me?
>>27288680
>the caretaker
lmao
>>27287713
always saw and wanted one of those things but i don't think my parents saw them as 'suitable'
>that one teacher who was known to be having a fling with one the girls from school
>mysteriously disappears of the face of the earth
>ask teachers
>"He's on holiday"
>revealed later that he got fired
don't think the police even got involved, embarrassing although the girl was a slag
>pass English language easily with a B
>Get a D in english lit
>>27288603
>student aide, one of the only decent staff members in the school, turned out to be a paedophile
That one hurt the most.
>purposely leaving all the gas taps on in chemistry after another boring bunsen burner lesson
*sssssssssssstzzz*
anyone /dobby/ here? GOAT game
>>27288680
the headmaster at the school next to mine filmed kids in the shower
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-30623060
>>27288680
man i remember one pedo used to dress up as a school and rape the children, it was awful hearing about it
>>27288715
>That one hurt the most.
bet it did you little slut
>>27288680
lmao so fucking true
>>27288715
It was my school. Hilarious.
I knew him, too. He was weird and touched people a lot, in a "friendly" way.
He ORGANISED MY WORK EXPERIENCE
>>27288680
I had a cool as fuck care taker who spent an hour after school telling me and a friend about demons and shit and about how the 'spiritual medicine' fun day our school had brought demons to it and that Raki (or whatever it is - I think it's some yogtype thing) was demonic and one of the teacher who took part in it said that while on a boat, something evil was following him as a result.
It was grey and raining outside too. Weird day.
>>27288680
Our school caretaker got caught wanking by some year 7s.
>>27288733
>man i remember one pedo used to dress up as a school
>>27288751
Also I should add, after that day a priest had to come in a perform an exorcism in secret at the school kek
>>27288750
Did he touch you often?
>it's a 'teacher is hungover and can't be fucked so they stick a video on' episode
>>27288751
Reiki?
Alternative medicine. Absolute guff
>comfy primary school feels turns into nonce discussion
top kek
>>27288758
Can you think of a better disguise to lure children?
these were the bomb
>>27288782
Aye that - there was that and a bunch of other random spiritual shite that day.
Still, it was cool hearing about these so-called demons and this crazy caretakers exploits in Rome hoping to see the pope.
>trading your friend 'the mummy returns: the vidya game' for pokemon gold version and having the time of your life
>waking up early on a saturday morning and watching earthworm jim and that dodgy super mario cartoon on channel 4
>that day when a local cat or dog wanders into your playground and every kid loses their shit
>lying to your parents about going to a friend's house and instead going into London with all your mates and taking ALL the photos, thinking you were the shit
>that time Holly and Poppy had a fight in form class over who was spreading rumors that Poppy had chlamydia
>>27288779
He would like rub my back when he was leading me somewhere.
Thinking back, he didn't hide it at all. What the fuck
>mfw the headteacher from my secondary school was fired for ordering a prostitute and telling her to wear the school uniform
It was a massive scandal. None of the parents had any idea what was going on as the letter we got was really ambiguous. I only just found out about it after seeing a Daily Mail articke about it.
>>27288733
>>27288758
We must catch this man. He really is a shit.
>>27288733
best tv program evar
>>27288781
>that old romeo and juliet film in english gcse
you know the one
>That great feel when you would come home and mummy went out and bought a fuck tonne of shopping
>>27288741
Hahaha you fucker.
>>27288781
>qt Irish maths teacher was hungover.
>let us watch Gladiator instead of doing work
>some nob complained about it and she nearly got fired over it.
He had aspergers admittedly, but I don't know how someone could be that awful.
>tfw you look back and your primary school teachers were complete morons
Apparently some schools in Britain have banned all chased-based games for safety and because it gives kids self-esteem issues
Wish they didn't get rid of this
>>27288853
Well that's why they're primary school teachers in the first place, desu.
Don't think we had any nonces in primary, but the head and deputy head were having an affair and got caught on a school trip.
Secondary we had:
- teacher who cheated on his wife with a 6th former
- art teacher who looked at porn during lessons on his computer
- teacher who banged a year 11 on the school trip to Germany
- lesbian PE teacher who would hang around in the girls changing rooms a bit too much, but I don't think she nonced any of them.
All in all I think we got off lucky
>having to watch this in English
>>27288680
Mine at secondary was.
He'd sing randomly and watch kids and break and lunch out the window.
He stayed in woodwork a lot, and by god, if you were stuck with him after school, you soon changed and got your work done.
>It's a kids are allowed to bring Ireland shirts and hats to school to celebrate Ireland being in the world cup and one kid brought a Spurs hat and told me they were in the world cup so it still counts.
>be muslim shitskin who came to Britain around Year 4 with gynaecologist father
>be in Year 7 class with a bunch of chavs who speak in wannabe niggerspeak
>had no idea what they were saying as I only knew how to speak actual English
>they all told me it was because I was a muslim that I didn't understand English
>get the best grade (A) in class for English Language while they all got U-D
>ctrl + f
>no Beano
I'm not even British
Not primary aged childhood, but
>forcing you to read To Kill A Mockingbird and your liberal cuck English teacher goes through complaining about the poor black men
We're all working class white people, in a lower ranked school and we aren't American, so cut the shit you whiny cow
>>27288872
There were these hard-boiled sweets which were available in 2002. I can't remember if they were starburst or rowntrees, but they were coloured on one side and white on the other. So good, but I don't think they were available for long.
>>27288904
Yeah but your dad looks at strange hairy cunts to put food on the table... so who's laughin' now?
>>27288822
>Holly and Poppy
Those names are so fucking middle class I mistook this post for a wine bar.
>>27288904
Poetry on untold levels.
>>27288911
>Mfw my history teacher started getting emotional and raising her voice increasingly in anger when reading to us the plight of jews in the concentration camps/
Those were the days.....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xaCzbqdFS24
>>27288872
i can still taste them
goat af
>tfw 'Get Your Own Back' and 'Noel's House Party' gave me a WAM fetish.
>>27288962
Some of our class laughed at Schindler's List when the Germans were going around the streets and shooting the Jews who were hiding. History teacher turned it off after that
>>27288911
TKAM was good shit mate fuck off.
The Great Gatsby, now that was fucking dross.
remember Carrie's War?
Who else had teachers whose names were job related?
>Mr Scorer the design tech teacher who terrified the younger years with his temper and kept having heart attacks
>Ms Petrie the biology teacher (pronounced like petri dish)
>>27289002
My R.E teacher was holding back laughter when the Wheelchair guy was thrown from the balcony.
We laughed and I think she couldn't help herself then.
>>27288911
We got forced to read that and I didn't get it, beyond a vague knowledge of Jim Crow. They put so much effort into contextualising Animal Farm and 1984 but couldn't be bothered with Mockingbird for some reason.
So glad we didn't have to read many American books actually. So much more enjoyable when you've finally got some knowledge under your belt.
>"Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, can you spell it?"
>"S U P E.."
>"no, it's spelled I T"
>>27289059
Constantinople is a very long word, if you can't spell it, you're a nerd
>>27288962
>mfw my class was bullying my design tech teacher because she was dead
>his last name was jones so people used to sing Billy Paul - Me And Mrs. Jones
it was brutal
>>27287450
>Trying to do an American accent whilst reading Of Mice and Men in Y11 English
>>27289021
>Mr Trainor, the P.E teacher
>>27289059
>Hey, Anon, gaylordsayswhat
Coming back from school hoping your illegal mp3 and movie downloads hadn't cut out
>>27289069
m i double s i double s i double p i
>>27289002
>Had loads of teachers get emotional just talking about Schindler's List
>Finally watch it and didn't see what all the fuss was about.
I'm a pretty sympathetic guy, but I got the impression that the film was just one big circle-jerk for Jews.
Sometimes we're more precocious than we realise at first.
>>27289059
>"hey anon, are you DFS"?
>thinking its some sort of joke about the sofa store
>"yeah why"
>"HEY EVERYONE, ANON JUST SAID HES DESPERATE FOR SEX"
>>27288205
Fuck me bollocks i remember watching this with my old man, we'd have tons of fun and shit
>>27287450
>Everyone watching football in lessons during Euro/World Cup. Even kids who didn't care about football pretending to get into it to avoid work.
>>27289078
>volunteering to read in chapter 2 so you could say nigger out loud
>>27289078
>Getting to say nigger whilst reading Of Mice and Men in Y11 English
>>27289115
>that song I wanted is finished downloading
>I did not have sexual relations with that woman..."
>GOD FUCKING DAMMIT!!
>>27289115
>downloading off kazaa
>forget to see this tagged in
OH BOY HERE WE GO
>>27287450
>Learning how to bypass your school's internet filter and becoming King of Porn
>>27289136
>was that kid who complained secretly so I didn't have to watch fucking football instead of doing Maths
Get rekt fucking chavs
>>27289059
>"hey anon, are you hard as nails or soft as shit?"
>"hard as nails?"
>"HAHAHAHA NAILS GET BANGED ANON!"
This joke was such a stretch but everyone at my school used it
>mfw my science teacher took a massive heart attack in front of me, started leaking yellow gunk out of his mouth and whimpered 'I'm sorry' before his eyes glassed over
>mfw It was just me and him in a storeroom after school as he was giving me exam papers
>mfw I couldn't sleep for 2 1/2 days after that and didn't feel tired for any of that time - it was surreal and scary.
I left the storeroom, found a teacher but when I tried to speak, I could not, no sound came out, I just pointed at the room and she eventually came there. I blacked out for a time as I came to outside the greenhouse feeling flushed and needing air while his body was being lifted away.
>>27288151
I always thought porn under a hedge was a meme.
Maybe there really are scud fairies who brought porn to generations of kids.
>TFW the internet has made these blessed little wank pixies obsolete
>>27289137
>>27289138
Bravo lads, bravo.
>>27289164
>you and your mates installing a copy of GTA on class computers
>play on Lan for whole period.
>>27289115
>Nirvana: Enter Sandman (RARE, LIVE)
>"This looks good"
>2 hours later:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nV0GI8FkJBc
This was last year in Sixth Form
>everyone forced to do General Studies, which I thought was pointless as none of the universities I wanted to apply to accepted it. None of the sixth form staff cared.
>find out that if you get a U in the General Studies mock, you can get out of it
>spoke to all of my friends who also wanted to get out of General Studies
>told them we should all be racist and hateful of minorities in our mock to hopefully get a U
>this idea spreads across the year group
>during the mock, wrote all of my answers so they were subtly racist and in support of UKIP, BNP, etc (e.g. constantly linking all of the Britain's issues to minorities)
>two thirds of the year receive a U
>a week after, we had an assembly about acceptance of other cultures and immigration
>mfw I made the teachers think most of the sixth form hated minorities
This story is even better because I'm a muslim who immigrated into Britain ten years ago
>tfw giving people birthday beats
>>27289205
>install Duke Nukem 3D so you can see pixelated tits for the first time
>>27287546
Nobody spells it "pyjamas", even if that's the official British English spelling.
>>27287450
>Download LimeWire
>Use LimeWire to download LimeWire Pro
>>27288369
>>27288379
Differs between schools, in my school it was a place to honour a dead roastie for being hit on the road in front of a teacher, i mean looking at it, there apparently were no traffic lights or crossings and looking at how long that is, i'm not surprised she did end up getting hit, but fuck me how do you be that stupid not to look? AND IN YEAR 9 NO LESS
>>27288151
I came across a bunch of kids killing a fox with sharpened sticks. They stabbed it to death and it's blood spashed into their faces. It was in the middle of a forest.
I ran away, they didn't see me.
In that same forest I found a skeleton ceramic bong behind the tress and smashed it.
>>27289192
>>27289192
We used to find stacks of scuddies in an old bomb shelter up the back of the local crematorium. Only junkies there now.
>>27289221
>pinch and a punch for first of the month
>>27288470
Granny knotting over here
>>27289205
>Install the Doom95 demo via floppy disk, knee deep in the dead during lessons
>>27289265
>kick and a flick for being so quick
90s
>"anon, we can either decide between Sky TV or the internet"
>"INTERNET INTERNET INTERNET"
>can only use internet after 6pm on school days for limited time
>weekend would be "INTERNET TIME" all the time
years of fun
>surfing on the internet
>internet disconnects
>"MUM!! I'M USING THE INTERNET!! :("
or
>"mum can u get off the phone soon i want to use the internet and check my updates"
>mum is on phone for like 30 more minutes
>get to use internet for like an hour and then it disconnects
00s
>computer is slow and virus ridden and broken
>come back from school and there's a NEW COMPUTER with WINDOWS XP
>"WOW!!!"
>"oh and anon we're getting broadband soon as well"
>"OMG BROADBAND!!!"
>absolutely fucking hype and will be able to download every game in the universe
>shit pants in excitement
>>27287450
>Using Encarta for Homework
>uniform cards
>3 strikes and you get a detention
>Used to bring Robot Wars pencil case to school every day
>Had a bunch of Robot Wars pens and pencils
>Had no friends
>Sometimes got called 'robot boy' or something, not really bothering me
>One day some kids told me there was going to be a big robot wars tournament behind the bike sheds
>got excited as fuck
>quickly ran to go and see
>arrived
>no robots
>couple of big kids there
>one has a piece of paper that says 'Chaos Poo' stuck to his chest
>they pin me down
>he does a shit on my head
>the other kids chant 'WHAT A MOVE BY CHAOS POO'
>someone shouts 'OH FUCK A HOUSE ROBOT'
>they all run off
>try to stand up, can feel myself vomiting
>teacher comes over
>tries to help me, but is also unwilling to touch me
>had to be taken home
>threw my pencil case away after that
>science teacher gets so angry he starts quoting dirty harry
>>27289306
Did this only once. Basically copy/pasted the Mondrian page and presented it as my own work.
>>27287450
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kemivUKb4f4
>>27289288
You take for granted just how big the internet is now
Having dial up for years was fucking awful. I'd also spend hours and hours trying to find people playing video games, but I never could. Trawling through IRC networks, and virus/malware websites just for grainy, pixelated, 10 minute videos of a Tomb Raider 2 level.
God bless Youtube
>>27289288
I still love wireless interst after all these years of first getting it. Not having to deal with dial-up anymore was beyond bliss.
>>27289347
Still kinda miss the dialup sound tho
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gsNaR6FRuO0
>>27289345
>God bless Youtube
Seconded. When you were stuck on a game before youtube, if there wasn't a decent strategy guide, then you were dead stuck.
I only completed Dark Forces II last year.
>>27288663
RM isn't that bad mate, ok somewhat lying, depends on what school you have, what teacher you have and the cunts in your classes are like, usually you'll be required to build something (It's a 50/50 everyone builds the same shit no questions asked or you can build your own shit)
>>27287450
>TFW threatened by a PUNISHMENT EXERCISE! AKA a punny.
Maybe this only works with northern dialect
>"Hey anon wanna feyt?"
>"er what?"
>"wanna feyt anon?"
>"no?"
>"HAHAHA ANON IT'S SEVEN. ONE OF EIGHT IS SEVEN!"
>mfw that sexual tension between me in secondary school and my Form teacher who was a midget with a great face, arse and personality.
>mfw even when she threatened me with detentions or being put on 'behaviour report' she would always back out while with other students she would do it straight away.
Sometimes, you both just know if we lived in a world with no rules we'd have absolutely fucked each other to death... but alas, it wasn't to be.
>mfw now 6'3 and knowing she'd come to just below my chest
>mfw imagining that sweet sweet sex
I sometimes hope I run into her one of these days. Sad that she was too smart to know not to fuck a student.
>>27287450
>"There's nothing quite like a McDonalds"
>>27289405
Wouldn't work in my northern dialect
>>27289376
It was more exciting, I think. The internet was useful, but still kind of a novelty. Only in the past decade or so that its become really useful.
>>27289384
yeah it wasn't bad at all. nobody in the class really wanted to do it so we all fucked around with the tools for two years
>>27289430
wan aff ate.
>>27289414
>tried to get guilt tripped into performing in some after school choir shit
>said to them "Nah, I'd rather go to McDonalds instead"
>Teacher said to me "Yea, they could always do with more clowns"
Rekt me but you have to wonder what kind of pathetic middle aged man mocks 9 year old children.
>>27289378
Kek. That game was awesome. I completed it when I was like 8.
>>27287999
Fuck, are you me?
Having Asperger's in a British school is hell on Earth.
>>27289412
she probably thought you had autism mate
>>27287450
>Tony Blair before the Iraq War
>"Thing can only get better"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dmwqEg-06Ww
Some kid in my class was eating some biscuit at lunch one day and the back of it's wrapper had an inscription under it's flap that read WARNING: do not go to this website followed by the URL
We went on that site of course and it turned out to be a porn site. Fucking weird.
>>27289483
brain cox on keyboards kek
>>27289457
>Rekt me but you have to wonder what kind of pathetic middle aged man mocks 9 year old children.
>What kind of person is so weak that they're still smarting over something that was said to them when they 9
>mfw I let my class teacher in Year 3 touch me in exchange for Pokemon cards
He disappeared after Year 5. No idea if he was fired, arrested or just left. It was worth it though, I was too young to understand and I got a shiny Raichu from one of the packs.
>>27289471
I didn't though and those with any learning disability were put into a special class room thing three times a week for an hour.
SHE WANTED ME, FUCK BOY. sometime YOU JUST KNOW.
>>27289483
i remember we had the election on in class like everything was going to be great again......
>>27289457
>Rekt me but you have to wonder what kind of pathetic middle aged man mocks 9 year old children.
who wouldnt? guy was based as fuck, you sound assblasted
>>27289430
It's Yorkshire, Barnsley most likely.
Wanna feyt? = One of eight
>>27289525
t. aspie neckbeard who laughs at children in Games Workshop
>>27289488
sounds like bollocks to me mate
>>27289550
>yorkshire
>northern
i had to deal with wools since liverpool was only a 40 minute train ride away
I remember when I used to wank over my high school crushes, like being left alone just us two in a classroom in our school uniforms and then getting naked and fucking like rabbits
Good times
We had a student parliament that used to meet during assembly time. As a joke, all of the normies in my class got me elected to it. The joke was on them since I had an excuse to skip assembly and came in at half 9 every day.
>>27289550
it was Barnsley, good detective work
>>27289578
this never happened i mean i fantasised this scenario
>That phase where people would go around turning everyone's bags inside out without them noticing
>>27289578
I still do this...
Isn't this normal...lads?
Remember when everyone was freaking out after they found out that drinking Sunny D would turn you orange? God I miss that drink.
>>27289436
Eh out of everyone in my class only 1 - 5 people fucked around atleast once per lesson, was a total pisstake if you ask me the teacher was pretty fucking based and seeing him getting pissed off shit us all up
>>27289603
>"I'm cock o' t'Sc-oyl"
>>27289547
And you sound like the kind of loser who gets satisfaction out of killing 10 year olds in online games
Bit pathetic tbf
>all your friends had hot dinners and you were stuck with packed lunches
>missed out on turkey twizzlers before they were banned
>>27289626
Nigga Sunny D is like 63p a litre in Tesco
>>27289619
Cabbaging.
It was so fucking stupid.
>>27289586
I was """""deputy""""" editor of the school news paper in six form. I just used it as an excuse to abuse and bully people, like I was Malcom Tucker.
>>27289603
For some strange reason they say it that way in places like Chorley, Nelson, Wigan, deep lancashire, but not in Liverpool or Manchester (nor Leeds for that matter)
>>27289649
It still exists? Damn. Well, probably not the same now as it was then.Also I have to watch my blood sugar now because I'm an old cunt.
>>27289661
I was a student librarian because it meant I could stay inside at break time when it was cold
>>27289650
Even worse when GCSE's came around and everyone had to leave their bags in another classroom unattended for two hours - the rage that erupted when everyone came back to a cabbaged bag...
>We never found out who did it
>>27289626
I remember when people thought lilt lowered your sperm count.
no one even drank lilt but still
>going to swimming class with school in year 5
>discovered wanking not long before
>get into changing room and wank my little dick right off
>couldn't produce cum yet so I just waited until it started to feel weird to continue
>walked out in swim shorts with no need to clean up
The rooms were all connected together and the walls didn't go up the ceiling so anyone on either side of me could have stood on the bench and looked over at me, but I was never seen
>>27289621
Yeah it's normal but you'd never admit it to everyone
No one would admit it
I watch porn usually these days to be fair :\
>>27288339
100% british feel
>>27289706
man everyone would not shut the fuck up how relentless/monster/energy drinks had bull sperm in it
or dr pepper killed your sperm.
>that day when lunch cards get introduced to use at lunchtimes instead of money
>you'd preload money onto your card using a machine, school thought it would reduce instances of kids getting money stolen from them
>instead it resulted in kids snapping each other's cards in half so they were unusable and swiping them hard down the back of each other's blazers so everyone always had thick white lines of plastic residue on their backs all day
>>27289638
>"a se dunt mess wi me, or al get mi favver to bray thi"
>tfw handing out sweets on my birthday in primary school
some cheeky cunts would take two
>tfw went to the worst secondary school in the county
Literally Hell on Earth. Still resent Mum for sending me there, although she didn't really have a choice either because other schools were either too far away or private schools
>>27289736
>"I know thee favver, and I know thee favver's favver!"
>>27289661
I used to volunteer for anything that would be:
a) A complete dossfest.
b) Would get me out of lessons.
I don't think I did a full day when I was there.
>>27289738
My mum used to make party bags for the whole class. I really regret that because some kids didn't deserve the shit that was in there.
Also I remember one Christmas I have this girl a Christmas card and on the same day she got really mad at me for some reason, so the bitch scrunched up the card in front of my face.
I never give out free shit to non-mates as of those instances.
If you were not within walking distance to both your primary and secondary school then your parents are bad at making life decisions
bus wankers will always be bus wankers
>>27289734
Poor kids got dinner tickets. Each bought 2 quids worth of food, they'd sell them for 1 quid and bring lunch in. I was a fat fuck so everyone knew they could sell them to me
>>27289736
>my daddy is a banker and he banks all day
>>27289776
Used to get the bus all the time by myself from 8 years old
I wonder if parents do that anymore
>mfw my school was asked to do an "Educating .............." show
>the school had no idea the show would end up like it did, it was just supposed to be a typical documentary about a school rather than making students look unruly and shit
Thankfully the school didn't go along with it. It would've been during Year 11 for me.
>watching that YOUR BITS AINT NICE video in year 6
>watching that Johnny The Condom video in year 9
>watching the slag of our year putting a condom on a banana and bragging she could probably do it no hands
Sex Ed was a wold ride.
>>27289813
Educating Yorkshire is great for laughing at dumb secondary school antics
>>27289837
Nothing involving children is ever "great" or "funny"
>>27289700
>Came back to a cabbaged bag
I've never seen or heard of this shit anon, explain it
>>27289826
>that chav girl in PSHE class who stole one of the plastic dicks meant to practice putting condoms on to
>>27288339
Jamie Oliver books taught me to cook so I can't hate him.
>having to make an Easter hat for some shitty Easter fair
>having to bring can scans to school for some reason
>having to bring food for the Christmas party whilst some girls did the Steps dance routine.
>>27289837
>that slag that had like half her face bitten off by a bulldog so she always covered it with make up
she was my waifu
Mandatory PE lessons were fucking awful.
>>27289734
I THOUGHT MY SCHOOL WAS THE ONLY ONE
h-hws? it only happened in my last years but
>>27289826
Did they make you watch that old video from the '80s of a child being born in Year 7 as well? That remains as the worst gore I've ever seen.
>>27289752
Well you can't just post that without giving a few stories, anon.
>>27289880
>not taking PE at gcse
want to know how i know your fat?
>>27289556
It's true. Some brand I've never seen. Shiny blue wrapper.
Who /specialneeds/ here?
>Asperger's, really mild on the spectrum
>still got lumped in with the severely mental kids
>still fell into an averagely popular group by the end of school
>a few really spergy kids always tagged me
>could've told them to fuck off but I was too nice
>because of being associated with said kids, people from school will always remember me as "that kid"
>>27289899
>taking PE at gcse
You were a dim one.
>>27289899
>your
Want to know how I know you didn't pay attention in English?
How did we end up like this?
This is not how I pictured my adult life when I was in school.
>>27289880
the half term when we had to do rugby was always in the dead of winter. Getting tackled would shatter your fucking legs off it was that cold
>>27289865
It's not good cooking if you destroy every single flavour by copious amounts of Olive Oil
>>27289870
I remember having to do that easter egg hat thing in Year 2. Everyone went out of their way to make these tall paper top hats with little mini eggs and glitter hanging off them, while I just glued a few drawings crappy doodles of some easter eggs to one of my brothers old neon baseball caps.
>>27289880
>no, anon you have to play football
>you have to play football anon it doesn't matter that you're bad at it and all the other kids hate you and you'll be made to be in goal whilst eveyone mocks you and I watch
>no we won't do anything else at any point in the year you're playing football every day
>WOW HOW DARE YOU NOT BRING YOUR PE KIT YOU'LL GET EXCLUDED IF YOU KEEP DOING THAT
>>27289619
>that phase where people would rip your shirt pocket off
>eventually those who still had pockets where like prey in a sea of predators
>mfw i was the prey
What did you bring on harvest day?
Pic related
>>27289899
>not walking out with a distinction in BTEC PE
>offering to take an exam
>>27289856
I think it was also called 'nuggeting', or something - our school bastardised the term and called it 'chicken dippering'.
Basically, you'd take someone's bag when they weren't noticing (like, if they were actually paying attention in class and they'd put it under their desk), take all of the stuff out of it, turn the bag inside out, and put everything back inside, returning it to the place that you found it.
This trend caused a bit of an arms race in my school, as people bought tougher bags that were harder to turn inside out.
>tfw sabotaging other people's cooking in Food Tech by adding a fuckton of salt when they weren't looking
>>27289921
I was diagnosed in the late 90s when people didn't really know a lot about it, so yeah. The teachers all thought I was an attention seeking 'tard, so they put me in with the window-licking spastics.
>>27289926
>>27289929
You fucking nerds, i bet you was always picked last
>>27289964
Now harvest day is some top quality nostalgia
>>27289894
Holy shit yes, right before lunch too
>When you get on the 4-wheel twinkie car in the sun-risey time
>The slow-in-the-mind is peepee friction funtiming in the back
>>27289937
The one time we did rugby at secondary school it ended up being cancelled after the first lesson after one sports-obsessed chad was knocked out of the air during a demonstration and brained himself against the floor of the football field. So amusing to watch him riling in agony while the PE teacher tells him to walk it off.
>>27289974
>salt
>not washing up powder and fairy liquid in that one spaz kids food
he deserved it to be fair
>>27289939
Yeah, some of his recipes are really off. Others are great though, or just need to be adjusted a little.
>>27289971
That's hilarious. Wish that caught on at my school
Did anyone ever unscrew the salt at the end of the dinner line? A tip-top ruse
>that kid that straferan on running day and finished in 1 minute
>>27289948
>>27289870
We had to make Easter hats too. (Why the fuck was that a thing?)
My pair made a bitchin' Togepi hat.
None of the teachers understood what it was.
>>27289979
Yeah but then again I went to school with a bunch of chavs kek.
At the end of the day, I was top in History and English. And ended up with an A and A* whilst gcse PE kids ended up quitting school at 16.
>>27289979
>not capitalising the I
Get back down Job Centre Plus.
>"when you hear the first whistle, everyone has to stop moving
>when the second whistle blows, calmly walk back to your lessons"
>>27289863
Fucking kek anon what were the mindless twats thinking, they gave us freaking Styrofoam dicks with expired condoms
Who /CofESchool/ here? Anyone remember having to make one of these?
>having to buy a book at the bookfair
did not care for biff chip or kipper
>>27290075
That is bent as fuck.
>>27290051
>one lad barely bothered with his gcses cause he'd already been signed to a junior football team.
>kept getting injured and was let go a few years ago
>completely fucked up his life as a result
He was a cocky cunt anyway. That's hubris for you.
oi lads what do you want
>good moooorning mrs thompsonnnn
>good mooooorning everyoooone
>that one kid who constantly, CONSTANTLY had headlice
what the fuck were your parents doing instead of looking after you properly, jesus wept
>mfw remembering this period of terror and confusion in secondary school when people's bags would go missing only to be found later that day with a fresh shit in them
>mfw this guy became known as 'The Phantom Shitter'
He was caught after a few months of pure anal cascading terror but the teachers, to protect him from being lynched, never revealed who he was.
Some men really do just want to watch the world burn.
There was a real terror that you'd be next and since the school had multiple racks of 'pigeon holes - little boxes you could out your stuff in, the Phantom Shitter always had a means to satisfy his horrid fetish as someone, even in those dark days would leave their bag unprotected in the pigeon holes.
THE OFFICIAL SMELL OF THIS THREAD
GOOD MORNING (TEACHER'S NAME)
GOOD MORNING EVERYBODY
There's only one way to say those lines.
>>27289895
Hmm, my memory's a bit foggy but lets see
>one english teacher who just didn't give a fuck
>him and the geography teacher would go down the field a lot to smoke weed with the year 11s
>would always bully kids he didn't like
>made fun of the special needs kids
>locked bad kids in his cupboard
>one kid was locked in there for 2 hours, through an entire class and lunchtime
>pretty sure the head knew about all the shit he did but couldn't be bothered to fire him
We had some pretty cack teachers 2bh. There was one who got put in prison for having sex with a couple of students. Also one that lost an entire yeargroup's GCSE tech coursework in the final couple of weeks, so they had to do it all again and got really shit grades.
Might post more stories if any come to mind/if I feel like it. But feel free to ask me anything
>>27290095
i got 5p so il have a freddo
>>27290095
3 liter bottle of cider my good man
>>27290095
A Freddo, a Taz bar and a Ribena please m8
>>27290106
>not chocolate
That really was a game changer.
>>27290095
Some fags and some Space Raiders please Anon.
>>27290136
Remember when Ribenas actually tasted good?
>>27290101
>The Phantom Shitter
We had one of those, except he used to scrawl swear words on the walls in shit instead. That exact name.
>>27290106
>Those summer days in secondary school where I'd be the only guy smelling of lynx Exotic and Lynx Twist
>>27290107
they changed it to "good morning friends" at my school
When dinnerladies would call out over the field which year's lunch it was
Orbis Dinosaur Cards
Batman Returns Cards that came with bubblegum that would break your teeth
Hell, I even remember buying Eternal Champions (Megadrive beat'em up game) stickers
Trolls
Monsters In My Pocket
Boglins
Pogs
Post YFW your secondary school gets knocked down
>>27290154
>not Lynx chocolate
anon..
>>27290119
Jesus Christ how horrifying
>feel free to ask me anything
Yeah, how did you survive?
>that edgy, angsty kid who set fire to a bin in the toilets which caused a pathetic amount of damage and got him expelled
Hope it was worth it, David
>>27290107
My school got a new headteacher at one point and she started making us say 'Good morning EVERYONE' instead of 'everybody' because apparently the word 'body' was rude. So I'd just say everybody every time for shits and giggles.
>>27290182
They built a new building thanks to Brown tho
It was shit but my old building was an ancient relic.
>>27290187
Nah man, Exotic and Twist were better and slways had a fresh summery smell.
I got sick of all the future Chad to be's smellin gof chocolate.
>>27290182
>tfw your school had a strike day and everyone just stayed on the field after lunch because they were 'protesting' the school being knocked down
GOAT day
>PE wet day
>"Okay guys we're playing dodgeball in the hall today"
based
>>27290174
>Eternal Champions stickers
Nice, never knew about those.
>>27290187
That came out pretty recently anon.
So you're either underage or remembering incorrectly.
>"hey anon did you watch that funny youtube poop I told you about?"
>"y-yeah.."
>didn't watch it
>in IT friend gets youtube up on internet explorer and shoves it in your face
>it's not funny at all
>he keeps quoting it every day for the next month
>HAHA LOL XD MAMA LUIGI SPAGHETTI
>fucking kill me
>>27289626
They sell bottles for a pound at the Morrisons near my work. Sometimes buy one for lunch
>tfw you hated having to sing hymns in assembly but would absolutely belt out SHIIIIIIINE JESUS SHIIIIIINE whenever that one was played
absolute tune m8s
>>27287450
>Being the only kid in class with internet + CD Burner
>Making bank selling CD's to other students in the glorious pre-broadband 90's
'Member these?
>>27290107
Or even better when they say the pledge of allegiance over the intercom at 9am along with daily bulletins
>GOOOOD MORNING [SCHOOL NAME]
>yfw bleep test day
>>27290227
they were the best, lad
>>27290219
Man I couldn't throw the ball for shit but i was skinny and loved to jump and diver everywhere regardless if it hurt. Truly was a double edged sword
>>27287450
>That special assembly after 9/11
>>27290255
can't handle that shit
>>27287450
>Walking out of school during the Iraq War
>mfw based Science teacher who would curse and let us watch wither Lake Placid, Constantine, Happy Gilmore or most of the time The dark Knight.
Several times a semester he'd put those on, even during GCSE.
Based one eyed science teacher
>mfw learning about gravitational pull
>mfw me and my friend giggling ask 'H-hey, sir...what is the gravitational pull of Uranus pffft
>mfw based Science teacher replied 'Well, your anus has a MASSIVE gravitational pull!
Ah based cyclops.
>PE time
>you enter the hall and see the rainbow parachute is out on the floor
Absolutely based
>>27290255
I had one kid at my school who didn't give a shit about anything physical and just walked for the first lap to instantly eliminate himself so he could sit around playing his concealed gameboy the rest of the lesson. He walked the entirety of the 800 metre run as well.
>OFSTED visiting this week and everyone is told to be on their best behavior
>tfw your year was literally the last year of semi good grades the school had and its turned to absolute shit with every passing year
>>27287450
who where old is old enough to remember:
>All the maps being out of date after the fall of the soviet union in 1991
Think I was about 5 or 6, but I remember it
Anyone else occasionally have some religious drama type group come in to tell and reenact stories from the bible? Especially around Christmas
>>27290219
>not allowed to play dodgeball, it's too violent
>PE teacher introduces completely new unrelated game, 'extreme benchball'
based as fuck
>Primary 7 class Christmas party
>every game is rigged so the class autist wins (like virtually every one, the teachers were going overboard)
>final game: musical chairs
>happen to be last remaining player with the autist
>made to walk around these long gym benches with only one remaining chair to sit on
>notice that with each previous round, the teacher controlling the music is waiting for the autist to be right beside a chair before cutting the music
>catch up with the autist and walk right beside him around the benches
>teachers know I know what they're doing
>stare me down like I'm the cunt and not them
>eventually cut the music when they realise I won't leave this autist's side
>win myself a box of chocolates
>>27290277
>>27290254
>The Yanks are trying to takeover.
>>27290106
the changing rooms after PE always stunk of this
>>27290247
This is what makes you realize the power of cults
>>27287450
What role did you lads get in the Nativity Play?
>Innkeeper, reporting for duty
>>27290258
>they cancelled the 3rd game to give more attention to Virtua Fighter
Sad desu.
>>27290192
Kept my head down, did my shit. Thankfully I was never properly bullied like some poor kids were, otherwise I think I would've an heroed. Which reminds me, some year 8-9 kid actually did kill himself once.
I was also in a fairly good yeargroup in comparison to some of the others. Most of the shitty people were weeded out (expelled or left) by year 11, and I think we ended up setting a new record for the number of students with 5+ A*s to Cs. So I was just lucky I suppose.
>>27290321
>Tfw came sixth in my cross country
>>27290258
>would spend hours trying to get the player to be eaten by the dinosaur
>>27290247
Legitimately good song.
I still listen to it occasionally.
>>27290361
>The Yanks are trying to takeover.
We had an assembly on 9/11 in Greater Manchester. Everyone thought it was funny as fuck.
I was literally doing a paper-round when the 2nd plane hit, I could see everyone in their houses turning on the TV's and losing their shit
>its a molest the polish/czech girls because you can get away with it episode
>auto sage in a little over 2 hours
noice.
this is how /brit/ started, right?
>>27290371
"Bad joke teller and Ofsted inspector" my school was pretty weird tbqhwu
>>27290349
They made us students do it instead.
>tfw Catholic schools in Northern Ireland
>>27290247
>SHINE JESUS SHINE
>FILL THIS LAND WITH
>THE FATHER'S GLORY
>tfw long term illness throughout secondary school and was allowed to walk out of classes and school whenever I wanted.
Yes, I'm allowed off school premises.
No, I'm not going to stop to argue with you about it.
Fuck this shit, I'm going home to watch MTV2 and Kerrang.
Also. Fuck you Mr Grant, I'm not tucking my shirt in.
>>27287450
>Forgetting to get the consent form for MMR vaccine filled in
>Not getting inoculated
>Being scared as fuck you were gonna die of some horrible disease as a result.
>>27290371
I was always a shepherd for some reason.
>teacher reads out answer to test question
>everyone: yesssssssssssss
>>27290424
> tfw Kerrang was actually good.
>>27290371
I was a sheep, and I had a fucking brilliant move for when the angel Gabriel came down to visit the shephards - I'd turn my head and let out an inquisitive "baa?". It was so good, that I smashed it in rehearsals, and then EVERYONE FUCKING COPIED ME IN THE LIVE PERFORMANCE SO I WAS NO LONGER COOL AND ORIGINAL
From that day forward, I now always keep a good thing to myself. I think the experience shaped who I am today.
>>27290408
I was playing Rayman 2 on my ps1, came down stairs, seen my dad watching it just after the first plane hit, didn't give a shit, went back to Rayman.
>>27290075
>tfw I got my parents to keep the corks from their wine bottles so I could make one of those hats wih corks hanging off by bits of string and go as an Australian
>>27290413
Eurgh you had a post-modern Nativity play? How degenerate.
>>27290386
>school cross country
>was second all the way through
>person in 1st starts to walk thinking he crossed the line
>I sprint to the line and claim 1st
teachers said I did the wrong thing kek
>it's a "school staff star in a pantomime" day
>>27290361
>>27290408
Manchester here. We had some remembrance/prayer thing the day after. A few kids got in trouble for laughing
I also remember on 11th September 2002, a plane flying really low down during morning play time and kids screaming "AHHH OSAMA!"
>Seeing your teacher smoke and thinking it was weird
Also, is this the most successful /r9k/ thread ever?
>524 posts and counting.
>>27290386
>won some nationwide poetry contest in year 4-5
>got my poem put in a big book of loads of poems written by kids
>my poem was about a big storm God destroying a village
>contained the line "his great big balls of wind"
>family kekked hard when they read my poem
>people across the country probably have too
>family still bring the book out every now and then to remind me of it
>>27290448
yeah it was awful. One of the teachers wrote the story every year and she was forced to add the actual nativity play into it somehow. The ofsted year was literally the nativity play with me and the other inspector watching it on the back of the stage while writing notes. We just drew cocks and that S thing on the paper and pretended to care
>>27290371
Shepard then prince charming signing in
>>27290450
>the normally straight-laced, intimidating teacher is dressed as a woman and hamming it the fuck up
>>27290448
My primary school had to do Hosanna Rock and it was retarded but the songs are catchy af
>>27290489
>mfw I too am a published poet in some book about what you'd put in a box or some shit
I tip my scholarly pen to you M'fellow intellectual
>>27290386
>>27290449
>cross country
>teacher prints out a bunch of number cards, when you get to the finish line you get a card and your time and go tell the assistant with the clip board
>teacher loses card number 24
>I come last
>out of 24
>get card 25
>I came 25th out of 24 people
>mfw
>>27290386
>tfw I won some netball scoring contest two years in a row because I threw the ball like I would a basketball and not that fucking chest cannon, netball throwing technique
>that kid who had japanese pokemon cards
>>27290524
>netball
Bet you like men
>>27290526
Based
>>27290502
my school headteacher played the role of a drag queen. guy was the most based person in the school.
>>27290371
Donkey
>tfw my high school sweetheart was the donkey in her primary school nativity
>>27290521
oh man, i am laughing.
thanks for sharing
>>27289436
Somebody in my year took a power drill and shoved it up another guy's arsehole
No blood or contact, just a suspicious hole and a loud yelp
>>27290526
>that kid who had a deck of cards loaded with fake exodia parts
>>27290515
Think I remember reading some poems about that actually. The schools must've had themes for things they wanted the kids to write about.
>mfw highest grade in GCSE English Language in the school
>>27290526
>that kid who had 'Sardinian' yu-gi-oh cards
James, we all know there's no such card as 'Dark Exodia' with infinity attack and infinity defense
>>27290545
Loads of lds did netball and hockey in my school. After Y7 they had to mix the genders in PE. We were shit at footy and rugby, and conversely all the girls wanted to play footy because of proto-feminism, so we spent the year fucking around duelling with hockey sticks instead
>>27290545
Nah I never played it because netball is basketball for weirdo girls. It was just some free throw contest they used to hold
>>27290371
You can tell more about where you'll end up in life by remembering what role in you get in the Nativity play than anything. It is is the most honest and accurate summary of your childhood self your teachers will ever have made.
>Son of the Richest Parents = Joseph
>Bright girl who has counted on to remember the most lines = Mary
>Bright but poor, can be trusted with lines = Narrator
>Class Clown = Innkeeper
> Pretty but Thick Girl with Pushy Parents = Angel Gabriel
>Thick Girls = Backup Angels
>Thick Boys = Sheep, Barnyard Animals, Scenery
>Three Kings from the East = Ethnic Minorities
>>27290526
Went on holiday and some french kid let me have a go on Pokemon Red on his Gameboy. I got really confused because I'd never seen French before.
>>27290247
>mfw HE'S GOT THE WHOLE WORLD IN HIS HANDS
>HE'S GOT THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD IN HIS HANDS
>>27290371
based roman soldier, gonna fuck shit up
>>27290526
>having to explain to the younger kids that their pokemon cards were fakes
Sad desu, but then again when a seaking has 150 HP you should probably suspect something.
>>27290577
>we all know there's no such card as 'Dark Exodia'
umm
>>27290574
>mfw highest history GCSE grade in the whole school
>mfw I studied only one week for it
>>27290604
HE'S GOT EVERYBODY HERE IN HIS HANDS
>>27290577
A guy named James stole the Yu-Gi-Oh cards that I got from Greece. Maybe they were those.
>>27290593
>Kid who was in charge of holding up various stage props and thanking everyone for attending at the end of the play - r9k
>>27290612
Clearly they had "future cop" in mind
>CAULIFLOWER'S FLUFFY AND CABBAGES GREEN
>>27290604
>that one Jesus man who would come do an assembly about Christian shit every year
>all the kids got free bibles and used to tear them up and chuck them all over the school
Shit was cash
>>27290642
r9k was either in the back still trying to get their Sheep costume on or on his way home in his parents care after pissing himself
>>27290593
Literally this.
Quiet kids always got stuck with fewer lines in plays, and the louder more obnoxious kids got the main parts. Not a surprise they never changed.
>>27290604
>HE'S GOT THE WHOLE WORLD IN HIS PANTS
top bants
Don't mind me, just posting the greatest book ever written.
>>27290644
m8, ive wanted to do that job my whole life.
Who says r9k can't bring happiness and hope?
Your comment has made me feel joy, thanks fampai
>>27290593
>everyone in your primary school is a low class white kid
>our school was the Scenary role of the UK
>>27290623
Oh God, you're "that" kid aren't you?
REEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>27290623
>mfw literally got 120/120 in one of my business exams at A-Level
>mfw I didn't even do business at GCSE and barely did any revision
>mfw the teacher put all our scores up on the smartboard
>>27290646
I used to cringe every time we had to say "yeah" at the end of a song.
Just annoyed me for some reason.
>>27290623
>mfw highest GCSE literature grade in school
>didn't study at all
Granted, I went to a chavvy school but still
>>27290669
I got picked for that duty because it's what they gave kids who had no actual roles in the story. They only needed two sheep ;_:
>>27290567
Two questions, how and why?
>>27290626
SING HOSANNA, SING HOSANNA
SING HOSANNA TO THE KING OF KINGS
>>27290623
>only A* I got at GCSE was for History
>decided not to take it at A-Level and ended up getting mediocre grades in Maths and Science subjects
Still regret it to this day
>>27290680
> HE'S GOT HIS PENIS IN HIS HANDS
We got detention for singing that one time.
Thread 2 where?
I don't want to get of the nostalgia train. My life now is depressing as fuck.
>>27290755
Better than doing Media Studies or some shit.
>>27290750
CUCUMBER MAH LORD CUCUMBER
CUCUMBER MAH LORD CUCUMBER
CUCUMBER MAH LORD CUCUMBER
OH LORD CUCUMBER
>>27290755
A level history was pretty meh tho. It got a lot tougher. Like...a lot.
>>27289964
>mfw from a Chinese family
>always bring in these fucking weird tins from the Chinese food supermarket
>mfw some poor white homeless guy is going to end up with tins of durian, grass jelly and pork soaked in fish sauce
>>27290691
Now I'm a ADHD retard most of the time, got all C's in everything else but in this case, I aced it...I like history though.
>>27290782
>mfw gay Drama teacher threw me out for saying Shakespeare was a 'fudge packer'
>>27290574
>>27290623
>>27290712
>tfw highest GCSE grades in school
Straight A*s.
>tfw only had around 35% attendance.
>>27290783
>mfw I did Film, English Lit/Lang and Economics for A Levels
>mfw I just barely managed to get into Cardiff to do a normie-tier management course
>>27290667
>the gideon miniature bible
>one kid used to pull it out of his pocket and quote a random verse at the top of his voice
>>27290786
This
>tfw Irish History and remembering all the names and shit
>had to do BTEC PE with all the retards who were good at sport because my athletic abilities were non existent
>finish all coursework to Distinction level by January
>got to play games while all the wankers had to struggle to get a pass
Yeah that's right Levi, pick me last for football, it wont help you write a report on aerobic respiration
>>27290755
It was pretty tough but you definitely missed out. Such a challenge compared to GCSE. It's not just about remembering dates and shit, it also taught you how to write critically and analytically
>>27290783I also studied Media Studies. I enjoyed doing IT Emedia in high school so I thought I'd take it as an easy A-Level. Then I found out it was just English but with a movie or TV show instead of a book or poem. It was fucking boring
>>27290803
What are you doing with your life now lad?
>>27290814
>A level film
Ah yes. Top bants.
>>27290623
>100% one or both exams from each of biology, chemistry, physics and maths GCSE while barely trying>never show any other kids my grades because I felt guilty that they tried really hard and only got B-Cs>go to university and slowly fuck up more and more because I never learned to focus or study properly>resent the people I used to pity who are still chugging along at the same paceTurns out the tortoise does win
>>27290831
I'm a Technologist who wishes he was a NEET.
>>27290814
>didn't get the required A-Levels
>still got into Nottingham and studied Compsci
>tfw I fucking blew it and ended up with an ordinary degree
>when you got to be on OHP duty in school assemblies and point to the next line with a pencil, but you made shadow animals when the teachers weren't looking
>hilarious alternate lyrics for hymns
>CROSS OVER THE ROAD MY FRIEND
>THERE'S A CAR COMING ROUND THE BEND
>IF YOU WANT YOUR LIFE TO END
>CROSS OVER THE ROAD
>the teacher's looking for people singing the wrong lyrics
>>27290824
I did Moving Image and was so good at it that my teacher - my THICK, red headed luscious teacher - used to dote over me as a student, would take me to the side and bring me books about movies and even showed my FIRST practice movie to the second year students to show them 'How it's done.
>>27290750
SING HOSANNA, SING HOSANNA
SING HOSANNA TO THE KING
>that one kid who would always keep going with another "OF KINGS" before tailing off realising that no one else had carried on with them
kek
I had a maths teacher from Straya who had this obsession with Michael Jordan. He used to play videos of him as a means of "motivating" us. He literally had the simplest signature in the world, so we used to forge it to get out of lessons.
>>27290814
>English Lit/Lang and Economics
Not the worst-
>Film
Jesus Christ
Not quite as bad as people doing Film Studies at Uni, though. If you want to take a vaguely useful subject and still get to watch a shit ton of movies then take History. Any war or empire modules in particular always had weekly screenings straight after the lectures.
>>27290783
Media studies was a fucking good course, I never understood this meme. It was super academic and there was a bunch of focus on statistics and stuff that could actually help in the future.
English Language, on the other hand. That one was about feminism and racism
>>27290755
Holy shit, are you me? I'm studying Maths, Further Maths and Physics right now in A2. Struggling a lot in Further Maths and Physics.
I miss writing about native Indians and the suffragettes that killed a horse.
>>27290887
Fellow Moving Image student, what was your movie about? I may of seen it cos they showed us a shit ton of the previous years films when I started
>>27290941
>Tfw taking film at Uni
Tell me it's going to be okay, lads.
>>27290982
>I never understood this meme
It's inconsistent in quality and tends to draw a lot of the more stupid people.
>>27291024
from what i know it will be fun, how to use the degree is in your hands.
>>27291024
>Tell me it's going to be okay, lads.
It's probably not lad, but good luck anyway.
>>27288585
This post right here. Sums up our banter perfect.
>>27290995
English at A-level was pretty easy but christ the people in the classes were awful
They all did meme subjects like sociology or drama so they though English Literature was the hardest thing going.
Knowing that they were watching films at shit while I was falling on my ass failing in computing and maths was so depressing
>>27291010
That's the thing... it was just a practice movie of me experimenting that had a weak ass story just as background noise.
>>27291024
Use it to make contacts and acquire funds for movies to put into festivals or you're fucked. If you just finish the course with nothing coming from it that is.
>>27291061
The uni I'm going to had 100% employability though. However I'm still kind of fucked.
>>27291030
My school's, at least, was fucking amazing.
Went to BFI to study about the statistics surrounding our specific topics we got to choose when making out case studies, alongside a 'media product' we had to make that could be printed, filmed, or a website on the internet. We got website designers and filmmakers in to help us with our work. Shit was hard but satisfying. Got a whole lot to put into a portfolio
>>27290995
I studied Computing instead of Further Maths. I barely got a C in Physics and I did so bad in Maths during my AS year that my teacher thought I was a retard. It didn't help that I was in a class full of Chad-tier, Maths geniuses.
>>27291085
That's exactly what everyones experimenting film was in my year, different camera angles and/or lighting with shitty background music. Good times.
>>27290233
I was that fucking kid
just kill me
kill me right now
A LEVEL SUBJECT RANKINGS
>God tier
Further Mathematics
>Great tier
Physics
Chemistry
Mathematics
>Good tier
Computing
Biology
English
Biology
History
Geography
>Okay tier
Psychology
Sociology
Media
Graphics
Art
>Shit tier
Music
Drama
French
ICT
PE
General Studies
>>27291100
Depends on your definition of employment I suppose.
>>27291105
That's amazing, and very exceptional too.
Media Studies for most people is just looking at a film and asking "What did they mean by this?" It's usually to do with overly simplistic analysis and subjective opinions. Like many subjects, the sort of thing which is much better as a hobby. A mickey mouse course through and through.
Your's sounded like an actual course though. Shame it's not more of an example to others.
>>27291224
>did Computing, English, History & Biology
Good tier purist
>>27291224
>no Leisure & Tourism
Easiest UCAS points going.
>>27291224
>ICT
can confirm. GSCE was based, but every single person apart from 4 in my 30-student ICT AS class got a U
>>27290848
There were only 3 people in the entire class.
>le random fat ugly goth girl whose filmic knowledge consists of Harry Potter and not much else
>massively dim builder-type who had to drop English and hadn't even seen The Godfather despite doing his entire coursework on it
>and me, the only person with actual knowledge of film, I knew more than the fucking teachers most of the time
It was an utter shitshow, but yeah there were some good bantz.
>>27290941
>Jesus Christ
I know, but it was either that or Maths Statistics which I got an E in at AS level.
>>27291137
I got BBCC in Maths, Further Maths, Physics and Chemistry (which I dropped at A2) in AS. I don't know how I fucked up in Maths, I got A in Core 2 and Stats but somehow managed a C in Core 1 (non calculator).
I'm going to resit Core 1 this year. Hopefully will end up in ABB for Firm, or BBC for Insurance.
>>27291264
>tfw I did Leisure & Tourism purely because there was a trip to Thorpe Park on the cards if I did, but then ended up delirious with fever before the trip so I couldn't go
Class was full to the brim with chavs, so naturally they all got shit grades while I got two A grades for one lesson's worth of effort.
Did anyone here do a BTEC in college? I did A-levels but I dropped two after AS so I picked up BTEC Business to fill in the gap. Had to sit in a class full of kids in the lower year. It was actually pretty cool because when I turned 18 I could brag to them about going to the pub and stuff. Actually felt cool for once.
It was pretty shit though. All of the work was just copy and pasting shit off the internet for a leaflet or a powerpoint. Also I was one piece of work off of a distinction grade, because there was a group project and one girl didn't bother to do her bit of it.
>>27291300
I decided to keep studying Physics despite getting a C at AS. Should have dropped it and kept Media Studies so I could have got a easy B or A if I actually tried
>>27289234
everyone does
fuck off yank
>>27290371
>>27290593
servant of one of the three wise men
and the wise men i served is now an it worker and a trainspotter and public transport enthusiast with a fat ugly girlfriend
i'm a web designer and ive had hot girlfriends in the past
school knew fuck all about me
>>27290857
This is why the public school rich kids always win.
The bright but poor kid in a shit school will simply smash all the tests and then fail when it's necessary to actually learn something and study a topic deeply.
Rich kids are socialised in a totallys seperate environment, with totally different type of pressure to success despite being nothing more than the offspring of the rich, than normalfags.
>>27289004
It's a well written book with some great characters but my english teacher spent every chapter just going over how white people suck. Tbh she made us do an entire topic on feminism so.
>>27291224
further maths, maths, and physics, nice
physics is too fucking hard though. Doing comp sci at uni now
>>27291232
Its weird, I thought most were like that. I know that my media teacher was absolutely brilliant though, she was a nerd and picked nerd students as her favorites and was savage to people who didn't like movies.
>>27291300
I miss Year 11. GCSE was great. I barely studied for anything and ended up with great grades. I was passionate about Maths and Science, thinking they would be just as easy at A Level.
I was wrong. A Level sucked the life out of me. I don't really know why I applied for Computer Science at university. I used to be good at mathematics. I like computers and playing around in Linux, but I don't know what sort of career path I want out of it. I just hope that I can cope with university, assuming I get accepted in the first place, and end up with some mindless code monkey job.
>>27291671
You sound like me. Year 11 was great, I had friends and a gf and GCSEs were piss easy.
Then I got middling A-Levels, barely got into uni and studied Computer Science and fucked it all up. I graduated by the skin of my teeth. I can't even get a mindless code monkey job and I graduated in 2014.
![[tips katana].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/rtuN08N.jpg "[tips katana]")
