We're all here for a reason.
How did your family fuck you up, anon?
I can actually safely say that I am just fucked up by nature
My famiry was great
Dad was a little neurotic and strange but he wasn't too terrible
>>26563679
schizophrenia runs in my family
>>26563750
Alcoholism and suicide for me senpai
I don't wanna blog the place up but I started typing about my family being as brief as possible and I was halfway done when I broke the character limit.
But I don't blame them. All in all I was always strong and uncaring enough to handle it, my problems came from my own fuck ups.
>parents have 3 kids without getting married
>separate when I'm 8
>raised by mentally ill single mother on borderline poverty
>consequential emotional neglect
>develop depression and social anxiety at 14
>don't get treatment because nobody notices due to never being asked how I am etc
My family is fine, objectively thinking my dad is a bit odd has weird tendencies and hobbies, moody but you know he means good and just wants everything to go merrily so everyone can relax. I'd say I'm very much like him while my mom is a Stacey, that shouts at you for the littlest things but I think that's just how she is as a person, got to let that shit slide. I have 2 sisters but I try my best to detach myself from them as they just make everything a hassle for no reason. I've had a good upbringing just as an individual I fucked myself into being a pleb that is constantly melancholy, I'm not hated nor liked just in the middle and easily forgettable, but I'm cool with that I just want to do my own thing. But then on the other hand I want to develop as a person and experience things a socially active person would. I don't know, I try to avoid thinking like this.
>dad was never around when he was alive, died when I was 8
>mother openly resented me for "ruining her life" and would yell at and hit me
>started molesting me a couple years after my dad died
>emotionally manipulated me to get me to do whatever she wanted, was sleeping with her clear through until I moved out after college because of it
>she died of cancer a few years later
>no other living family I know of
Now I'm 26, sitting in my apartment listening to the same playlist I have a million times while I get drunk and try to decide if it's worth killing waiting for the new Fire Emblem before I end myself.
Grew up in government care so they never had a chance to fuck me up. One of the older kids there liked to fiddle me, though, so there's that.
>>26565349
what's the playlist?
also fates is probably 40% of the reason i haven't an heroed yet
>>26565639
Just a bunch of songs I find sad that I've collected over the years. It gets tweaked every now and then, but it's mostly stayed the same. I really like sameness.
>>26565670
post some of them
i don't really have a good "sit with a handle of gin and my revolver and work up the nerve to play russian roulette with myself" playlist yet
>>26565761
That's not really what this is for. I don't really feel much except sad anymore. I've grown to like it when my heart twinges at a sad song or something, so I listen to it to feel something for a little bit. This one's one of my favourites. It's stupid normieshit but it makes me hurt more than most of the others for some reason.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6JCLY0Rlx6Q
If that's not your thing, there's this one too. It's better as a song but it invokes despair more than the pain I want.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S7zHZrcHdxg
>Parents split when i'm 5
>get forced to live with mother
>she's a failed artist
>seeing new guys fucking my mom every month, until i'm 13
>mother finds a stable accountant
>moves to my father at age 14
>having a blast of my time, going to the gun range, traveling the world
>father spend his last money on me
>has to work all the time
>feel like shit when i realise it
>have to move back to my mother to study
>sister is always jumping in and out of my family's life
>she's a former drug addict and a fat bitch
>always stealing my shit and leaving again
>become an alcoholic and drug addict since i can't handle my mother and step-father
>only one more year and i'll bail out of this family, maybe store up some money to spend on my father
>>26565812
thanks
here's my normalfag feels song
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yE2B_kCfvss
and here's a more obscure one
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_53dZFs_6sk
the guy in this one lived near me, met him a couple times, died of a heroin overdose that was probably intentional
>>26566006
I know the first one too, yeah. It's not on my list, though. Might add it. It's not a bad song.
>move houses constantly when i was a child because my dad worked for the goverment and traveled often
>dad would get stressed at work, and would come home really angry
>he would get drunk and hurt my mom and i
>back to the moving part. I moved about 8 times before i stared high school
>after about 5 times of moving, i realized i was just going to move again and decided to stop making friends
>this combined with the abuse developed my depression at a young age
>at around 10th grade, my dad quit his job because he realized how stressful it was on all of us
>he's a good person now, but the damage has been done
Now here I am, at the age of 23, doing nothing but browsing the internet. I want to kill myself with each and every day that passes
my dad wants to kill my mum
>>26566204
Did you kill dad to stop dad killing mom? Did your mom try to kill you to stop you from killing dad?
Was you the last one standing?
My father is trans and it could break apart my family (not that I wouldn't mind never speaking to him ever) Knowing that too explained the other issue with him having extreme anger issues and being a shitty parent in that sense sense he was repressing it for 50 years.
Anyone else have patterns in their families? My family goes failures, successes, failures. My parents and uncles and aunts all went to Ivy League schools and are very successful but their kids are riddled with schizophrenia and autism for the males, and eating disorders for the females. My grandparents were awful too.
>>26566312
aren't people born with schizophrenia and autism?
eating disorders are usually developed
moved around so much as a kid that I ended up with avoidant and dependant personality disorders
mom's side has increased risk of schizophrenia and I have that
My mother is a control freak mild schizophrenic bipolar hoarder that birthed me past 30
Remaining family are backstabbers, alcoholics/druggies, mentally sick or don't give a fuck about me
Im an aspie, learning disabilities up the ass.
I live in an isolated area, no kids around growing up
Went to a school of ultra normies, everyone hated me
My "friends" all turned on me in highschool
I deserve something. The internet is my only bridge to sanity.
>>26563768
suicide here too. feels bad man.
I should have been a perfect model of a person, my family taught me well and were very loving people. They believed the best in me no matter what. This is very sad because I don't think they realize I'm just fucked. No matter what happened they fully believed I was 100% normal, and I don't know why.
My extended family is all fucked up but I'm not too involved with what they do so I wouldn't really consider that as something that changed me.
My dad gave up on me because I didn't like killing animals like he did.
my father is aspergers and wanted nothing to do with me for my entire childhood, he just sat in our living room and smoked cigarettes and got high and watched old TV Land reruns. he is one of the least motivated, most apathetic losers i've ever had the displeasure of knowing. he's been working the same dead-end job for 30 years and comes home from work every day pissed off, yelling at my mother, yelling at me. he was always so upset because my mother wouldn't have sex with him anymore because he's old and smelly and fat and irritable.
one of my older sisters is a medium functioning autistic, the other became schizophrenic after high school and his now a heroin addict who we don't see anymore
my mother is the only sane one and she babied me and coddled me my entire life because she wanted me to be the normal one. i fuckin failed.
i've never had any kind of male role model and i'm the definition of beta. plus i've got my whole host of mental shit going on that i had to repress for 20 years because there were more pressing matters at all times. my mother cried when i told her i needed to see a therapist, i think it broke the last illusion of "normalcy" she had. i've never had any kind of romantic experience or even any friends because other people frighten me, especially girls. i just don't know how to deal with it.
the only thing keeping me from suicide is that my mother would not be able to handle it. thanks for reading my blog.
Parents divorced when I was 8. To put it briefly, one parent was my father who was emotionally stable with a good job and the other was my mother who worked entry-level jobs and was a neurotic mess.
Guess which one I got stuck with!
>>26563679
My mom, dad, and brother are all alcoholics and my dad used to beat me when i was younger but as i got older i hit him back and fucked him up and its only happened a few times since them but hes bipolar and is always acting fucking manic and my mom is just drunk 24/7 on the living room couch so drunk she cant even talk and then my brother is just a drunk recluse who never comes out of his room and it is filled with trash. it literally looks like an episode of hoarders in his room. to be honest he probably browses this board.
it just fucking sucks because with all the stress in my life i have no normal family to turn to.
>No dad to raise me
>2 brothers
>I am middle child
>Mom is skitzo
>Mom hates entire family
> lived in half way house for a bit
> lived in public housing
>Older brother does drugs
>I am nerd
>Younger brother wants to fight me constantly
>Older brother beat me when I fought back.
> older brother raped and beat me constantly
> barely any friends
> older brother is now in prison(for drugs, still wabts to talk to me cuz "i iz his fav bro")
> separated from mother
> share room with little brother at religious zelot house
> am gay
Beat that.
>>26566006
>eyedea
fucking beautiful man, was supposed to see him live a week after he offed himself, rhymesayers put on an amazing show that night, whole thing was sort of a memorial performance. met grieves that night and smoked weed for the first time, thanks for the memories m8.
anyway,
>my parents were both pretty supportive of me, almost too much so.
>dad was an ex drug addict that could barely string a sentence together, somehow had a decent job but it was never enough to support us properly
>mom is/was richfag, 1% tier, all the money came from her and my dad's shady tourism business i'm almost sure was a front for a cockfighting ring.
>by the time i was 4, dad started taking any and all anger he felt out on me instead of my mom
>would hold me down for hours at a time and suffocate me using various methods
>usually would give him boner
>by the by family falls apart, constant fights,
>move houses, things worse than ever
>mom takes all the locks off the doors so he can't do it anymore
>am in middle school, approaching dad's height fast(was 5'6 manlet)
>he knows his time is almost up, smashes my head into a door before first day of school
>have to go to first day freshman year looking like venom fucking snake
>from this point on let rage control my life
>get /big/ by sophmore year and kick the shit out of my dad, proclaim i'm leaving.
>nowhere to go, get spook'd
>end up back at home, dad knows he can't hurt me anymore so he's just a massive ass to my mom
>starts trying to spy on me and fuck with my food, leads to me locking my food up
>mom is barely human anymore, very shinji ikari esque, scares the shit out of me.
>eventually move across state because mom finds cp on dad's computer
>cops don't care about FUCKING CP
>now being raised by single mom, get hardcore into drugs
>realize drugs are for niggers
>stop doing drugs and get sad, drop out of college and come home
>mom is gr8 enabler, probably going to go back to school soon and stop being a paraiste.
>>26566534
>get self-immune arthritis that slowly destroys your own joints while causing excruciating pain whenever you try to use the affected joints making you unable to even walk right since 11
beaten
>>26566681
We were talking about family probz
Cheater
>Dad left when I was 4, never really played a role anyways and when he was there it was on and off visits here and there (basically glorified bootycalls)
>Mom already had 2 kids from a previous fling (older half-brothers) and had me and my older sister with my dad
>Older brothers are complete and total bastards, get into all sorts of trouble and basically drag our non-existent name even further through the mud
>Was really close with my sister growing up since we shared a room
>Sister got me into all sorts of fun internet shit (Newgrounds, ebaumsworld, albinoblacksheep, deviantart, myspace, and eventually 4chan (which I've been browsing since middle school))
>Sister got raped by a guy my mom was fucking (who was later shot by one of my cousins)
>Turned from loving and caring and motherly to crazy, reactive, and abusive
>Led to her eventually molesting me, which went on from 11-15
>She also got me into a lot of fucked up fetishes (loli, shota, incest, /ss/, guro, ryona)
>Left when I was in 10th grade to live with her "boyfriend" (crackhead that she was fucking)
>Oldest half-brother got arrested on a domestic violence charge
>Other half-brother is a high school dropout that sits around bumming off of his girlfriend and smoking weed
>Mom is borderline diabetic and currently on disability
>I'm a community college faggot hoping to transfer to a real school so I can get the fuck out of this shithole and never come back
You can probably guess my race.
At this point I'm open to the idea of suicide by cop.
>>26566963
yeah, it is about 3% hereditary, fuck me
it affects about 1% of population, it is RA
>>26563679
Me dad smacked the Normie outta me and bequeathed upon me his apparently heritable or learned self-control issues.
I am a hateful, cynical depressive with a pathological hatred for overbearing authority and a pattern of anger and substance abuse problems that in some ways mirror those of my father.
Also, my clinical psychologist literally can't determine if I've just been deeply affected by early-age trauma or am also an autistic.
>>26563679
They didn't, I have myself to blame.
Family did well, I'm crazy for some reason.
>>26567205
that is the first step to overcome your problems
>>26563679
Nothing too extreme. My mom was too emotionally unstable and my dad has OCD, they aren't really adults; It's hard to describe without a massive post. But they really, REALLY should have waited to unfuck their shit up before having kids. They later divorced.
I was basically left on my own since the start. The only benefit I got from that is that I learned to be an autodidact. But I'm too emotionally stunted for relationships and I have to deal with constant crushing feelings of loneliness
Raised by single mom who pressured me to have sex at an early age because her best friend and sometimes romantic partner wanted a kid of her own.
>>26565947
You don't need money. Get a job spinning signs for 12$ an hour, fuck's sake.
crazy mother with narcissistic PD and no father so nothing original
>>26567356
Start reading Cherryh.
>>26567597
Yeah, sure, why not. Where should I start with?
>>26567316
Unfortunately, that's as far as I'm willing to progress, so I have a problem that I'm acutely aware of, but remains due to indolence/defeatism.
Constantly criticized. Never accepted.
They're the kind of people who get you something they like for your birthday.
They hated whenever I would play video games and even when they did get me a game it was with conditions and constant bitching at me whenever I would play them.
They hated most of my friends. They literally called a few of them "gay boy" just like punch drunk love. These were the people who chose to hang out with me so that felt good.
They signed me up for things they enjoyed, they took me to things they enjoyed.
Doing what I wanted was a rare experience.
Asking them for the simplest shit was always an argument. I shit you not asking them to adjust the A/C in the car or roll a window up would result in a power struggle.
I never do anything right according to them. They give me constant unsolicited advice and tell me what I should do. It wasn't until very late in life that I learned this, and I still struggle with it.
I didn't tell them my major in college until I was a junior and even then my dad bitched at me for picking a stupid one.
They talk shit on me to everyone at every opportunity they get. If we're late it's my fault, if I ask for something particular they tell people I'm weird for wanting it. I'm the scape goat for all their social faux paws.
The worst part is they think they're awesome. They see none of this and think they did everything right. They see the sorry state of my life and ask themselves what they did wrong.
My mom literally said that to me once. "I ask myself what I did wrong."
Part of me wanted to lay into her and tell her exactly all the things she did wrong, but I knew they'd only store that to fling back at me later so I just let it slide.
Their chief complaint for years now is that "I don't tell them anything" and I always ask them to think about why that might be. They still haven't gotten it.
The best part? My dad is a fucking therapist. You'd think he'd be better at this sort of thing but nope.
I had a learning disorder when I was young so I always had trouble learning basic things, it came from my father's side.
My father never believed in it always thought that I was just lazy, and because of this he would require me to leave my homework out for him to inspect and if I got anything wrong, he would grab me out of bed drag me down to the kitchen and force me to do the whole thing again.
It was like that every night during grade school, there where times when I just didn't get it, and he got so frustrated he would hit me.
It eventually stopped when my little brother started doing better in school and had an interest in sports, my father would support him instead.
My mother is ordinary, i only get to see her every 4-5 months for 2 days, but before I leave she always tells me "no matter how bad things get mother always loves you"
My dads a good guy. But he never taught me about tools or girls or anything. And my mom is mentally insane and I can't stand her guts. I'm not a virgin and unmotivated to get a decent job or try my hardest in school.
>>26563679
sometimes you're just born with different brain wiring, anon.
both my parents are normies and so is everyone in my entire family tree apart from some very distant relatives who never had wives. can't blame anyone or anything.
my brain pattern was a probability that materialized. i refuse to consider myself anything more but a probability that found its way to the physical plane.
>>26567863
i wish my mother had loved me. maybe she did but i diddnt feel like she did. my father is just indifferent. he used to box my ears and now i have lumps all over my head. i have medium autism but just learn to deal with it on my own.
>dad not around much when I was really young
>made fun of by entire family
>bullied by them as soon as I get home from being bullied at school
>everything I do is wrong
>sister yanks the plug on my computer when I tried to do homework on it
>always punished for retaliating against physical or verbal abuse
>constantly wag my disability in front of my face
>get called mentally ill multiple times (unrelated to disability)
>legitimately get gaslight
>threatened to have cops called on me when I finally start hitting my dad and sister back
>they wonder why I stay locked in my room after all that
>tfw can't ever properly feel like I got fucked over because at least they got me plenty of stuff and didn't rape/beat me every day
>>26563679
My family drugged me up on pharmaceutical chemicals when I was 7 years old because I had ADHD. I only got off of them at age 18. But by that time it was too late, as my brain has already rotted away from the chemical slurry.
Also, they told me to run the other cheek.
>>26563679
Not nearly as bad as some stories told, or to be told, but eh.
>parents divorce
>dad cheated, left mother for woman he cheated with
>mother does not deal well with being alone
>leans on brother and I (mostly me) for support
>is not the best where money is concerned
>was made redundant at her job (admittedly, not her fault) and forced to take a job earning less
>occasionally forced to give her money, that sort of thing, don't see a problem as she raised me
How I'm fucked up:
>dad's situation has ruined me for trust - seriously, if my own father is capable of lying to us, leaving, and continuing to deny it, literally no one can be trusted
>mother's inability to cope has rendered me resentful, as I spent my childhood propping her up, and to top it off, I'm initially repulsed by anyone appearing to "need" me, or anyone/thing
I'm lucky I have my grandparents or I'd by royally fucked.
>>26563679
im here not because of my that, sure i may have had a half pshychotic-but careing mother who an hero'd only for me to find her body and a bully of an older brother who coused some of the worst memorys. and a dad who dident show up that often until mother died. many people on this board have had worse. but in reality it's our mental prefix that can't be changed i could have had the best familyyever and i'd still be what normies would consider an autistic loser, put chad in your situation and he would still come out chad you can't force someone to be beta or alpha they are just born that way
>>26568691
i know that feel
i allways drempt of leaving the house and becomeing alpha and BTFOing them when they try to make fun of me
they mentaly beat you whitch is worse than physical beating
I blame my mother for my current anti socialness and autist life
at the beginning in elementary school I was actually doing fine. had a few friends and was being social and normal.
my mother is a hoarder, you ever see that show where they clean hoarders house? well my house was 10x worse than that, not even exaggerating. half of the rooms in my house were inaccessible because they were neck high in useless shit, all other rooms were only waist high.
if anyone ever found out about the fact that my mother was a hoarder they would call dss and the government would take me away and put me in an orphanage due to living conditions. had to keep this a secret from everyone.
so that means no one could ever visit my house. my friends all wanted to hang out at my house since I went to their to hang out and its only natural that I reciprocate. eventually they grew tired of all the excuses I came up with like that we just painted so you no one can come in or its being bug bombed. I was seen as a jerk and a leech, and just plain weird for never allowing anyone into my house and was ostracized. Lost all my friends and didn't gain any for most of my academic career.
thats just the social part of my life that got fucked up. having to live with all that junk also fucked my life in all other departments
>good relationship with parents as a young child
>family was poor
>move 3 times for no real reasons
>dad dies when I'm 9
>move again
>Mom becomes a depressive mess from 4th grade onwards
>diagnosed with ADHD and depression in 4th grade as well, was tested for aspergers, never got results
>her depression becomes worse
>7th grade, she doesnt make me go to school, she sleeps all day and I hear her crying sometimes
>after missing 2 full weeks of school the school notices
>have to go to school or mom gets tossed in jail
>go to school, don't do shit, almost fail
>summer before 8th grade starts, mom thinks she has scabies crawling under her skin
>ends up taking so many drugs she pukes and calls 911
>police see her as an unfit parent, sent to be taken care of by aunt and uncle
>hardasses, made me go to school or they'd send me to foster care
>mom tries to get me back from them by leaving the county
>enroll in new school, old school finds out, sent back to live with aunt and uncle
>holy shit these fuckers are insane
>go through 8th grade up to junior year with them, do excellent in school
>go to live with half-brother senior year
>holy shit this fucker is insane
>somehow survive through living with him
>go to college
>mom dies a few months ago due to an unexplained cause after being hospitalized for a bowel obstruction
I don't really have anyone left in my family I want to associate with, feels bad.
>>26563679
Gotta be honest. I grew up with totally loving, supportive, rich parents. Yet I still managed to fuck my life up. I wish someone else could have had the opportunity I had.
>>26569837
Are you me? I keep wondering what it was that fucked me up, I can sort of pinpoint it but it feels cheap to blame it all on one thing.
>>26565947
how about getting a job instead of waiting, you autistic leech.
>>26569877
Yeah it sucks. But I think everyone, no matter what background, can deal with the things we deal with
>>26563768
>>26566377
Alchohol suicide master race.
Get in here my niggas.
