Probably Im not 100% robot, but I dont have friends and other shit, i spend most of my time here, just wanted to share because probably I have never talked with anyone about my life and I saw theres a lot of people telling about theirs, so here I come:
>I have never been bullied by anyone except my father
>He beat me almost everyday since I was like 4 years old
>He got tortured by his father as well when he was younger
>All the time im afraid of him, nowhere to run nowhere to hide
>At the other side my mother loved me I guess, she used to kiss me sometimes and hug when my dad was not around
>Teachers and other people dont give a fuck about me because its a case of my parents how do they want to raise me (90 in central/eastern Europe)
>as i grew up my dad became more and more violent
>at the age of 9 first time arrived to hospital
>He goes to prison for violence at home (dunno how you call this in english), rape attempt and 2xrobbery = 12 years
>Im still afraid all the time, doesnt matter if Im at home or if Im at school
>Im 12 yrs old now
>Im starting to feel an urge to be violent
>In my mind Im torturing dogs and cats
>There are 2 or 3 homeless dogs around my house since I was young
>Got little fucker by giving him food
>Took him to my basement
>Its time to do bad things
>Actually Im blocked, cant hurt him because he seems to like me a lot, probably the only living creature that is happy when Im around (except my mother)
>Instead of hurting dog Im spending 2 hours playing with him and his homeless budds
>Theres a guy in my class (in english his name is Criss) who is a midget or something similar (he was like 60% of my height) who is constantly bullied by my 2 colleagues (Chad 1, Chad 2)
>Not giving a fuck about it cuz its not my problem at first
>Waited 2 or 3 days for a good occasion
>By this time I follow him everywhere and he is shitting his pants because he thinks I want to be another bully
>The long break (15 minutes) comes, Chads tell him to go with them to the toilet because they need to talk
>So do I
>We arrived to the toilet
>There is one more guy, probably Chads friend already waiting
>Chad 1 is standing outside watching if teacher is not coming
>Chad 2 and Chads Friend are both taking off their backpacks, Dont remember what Criss was doing
>Im gonna see a little bit of violence which is gonna calm me inside probably
>Criss is being pushed to the wall and get first hit to the stmach
>He is getting some punches but not too hard
>Still he is not asking for help or crying or anything, like he just want to get what he has to and go back to his duties
>Instead of satisfaction Im even more afraid
>Got an idea what can help me
>Chads wont like my idea probably
>I came to Chad 2 and punched him with all my power in the nose
>He is screaming like a little pussy, there is blood all over his face and hoodie, I probably broke his nose
>Jesus it feels so good
>Turned to Chads Friend but he is already running, same did Chad 1
>Before teacher arrived Chad 2 got some more shots all over the body
>Good teacher finally came because it felt so good I think I might have killed him
>I feel 100% satisfaction now, cuz my dad got his ass whooped by me
>Im slowly calming down inside
>I didnt even have problems at school because Criss told principal what happened and it was okey
>Since then I was roaming around the school at long breakes looking for opportunities to kick some asses
>After some more Chads I stopped to be afraid, now Im almost empty inside, I dont even remember how it feels to be afraid, excited or anything, I also barely feel higher emotions like love (I have loved only my mother I guess) or empathy (well I feel empathy for animals [not for cats but still I have never hurt any])
At the age of 20 I was diagnosed as a psychopath and since then Im in constant therapy
Anyway I didnt tell anyone about my life, nor psychiatrist or psychologist, only about my father and mother and other stuff, just wanted to share with you because this board became my home, I feel rejected from the society, no friends, no family, all I do entire day is to sit in my room and do nothing.
I have a lot of interesting (I guess) stories from my life, if you are interested one day I can share.
Where are you from?
This comment is original
>>25097929
Poland, lived few years abroad but finally got back to PL
>>25097768
See a therapist before someone takes this into their own hands and kills you.
>>25098071
already did >>25097811 is me
ah, and Im going to buy golden retriever at monday, he is going to be my fucking best friend
