Feels
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You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001
You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001
C'mon /r9k/ bust out the feels, all of your deepest darkest secrets I want to hear them. Vent your darkest and most disgusting thoughts, 100% chance I'm a worse person than you. Vent, it's healthy.
>be driving truck home hauling ass after work one night
>lived in ghetto at the time so no streetlights work
>all of a sudden black guy in all black pops out of nowhere in street
>hit him
>slam on brakes
>panic
>throw it in reverse and run him over to make sure hes dead
>take off and spend night at a friends
Luckily my truck has metal bumpers so no damage at all.
Nothing in the news about the guy getting run over either, such is life in the ghetto.
I was abused by my father and have severe daddy issues. He made me his slave but due to some other problems I was taken away from his household when I was a teenager. Lately I've been struggling with old, unwanted feelings coming back. I feel the urge to return to that life and just be meat again. I know I'm shit and disgusting but I have nowhere else to talk about this.
everything is just getting grayer. I can feel it happening slowly, but its happening and it fucking scares me.
>>25115744
>grayer
What's that like? Sounds like something I'm familiar with but I never heard the term.
>>25115832
just a gradual numbness. I guess anomie and apathy would be the words
>>25115387
>Be black
>Wear all black
>Jaywalk at night.
His racial passive giving +10 to sneak was the death of him
>>25116139
Hmm, can't say I've felt that particular flavor. I feel something similar I call the rot. It's a feeling that eats at me and makes me feel like human trash and tells me to slowly die a miserable death. When I feel the rot, I'm scared of everything. I have to sleep a lot because I feel constant dread and doom. I feel the need to run away from everything and cut contact with the world and just wither away. I don't actually experience numbness, I'm a very emotional person.
life is miserable and there is no hope for it getting better.
hate job.
no hobbies.
no gf.
no friends.
no money.
no status or respect.
no chance for anything to get better because:
no talent.
no intelligence.
no social skills.
shotgun suicide.
>>25116390
Cheer up anon-kun
>no talent.
pic related
>no intelligence.
Unless you're literally medically retarded, this isn't a problem.
>no social skills.
Skills like any other. Read books or watch youtube videos to learn them and practice on people.
I keep doing that thing where I pull my pants down so my dick is restricted until it pops back up. It makes me feel like it's big.
>>25116231
wow that sounds shit man. I consider myself an emotional person too which is why I'm becoming afraid of this. I used to care about things more, I used to enjoy myself. Now I'm becoming increasingly disconnected with my friends and family leading me to feel isolated, I'm unmotivated, and I just don't really give a shit. Although for some reason my fucking anxiety is still here.
All u want to do is make music that even one person will hear and enjoy, but for some reason I can't bring myself to write a full song.
Why can't I just make fucking music? Why am I holding myself back from what I want to do? Do I even really want to do it?
Fuck I loathe myself.
>>25115308
I have fantasies about kidnapping a short androgynous robot and after a long foreplay session of light physical and moderate verbal abuse, bending him over and sodomizing roughly him while whispering what a slutty queer he is for just letting this happen to him, making him squirm while he cries and struggles under me, till I tell him he's about to be a sissy faggot forever now and cum deep inside him while he sobs.
>>25116598
Sounds like you have a classic case of depression. Sounds severe. I don't have the details, can't really say too much, but the no energy and anxiousness is definitely the symptoms. I was admitted in a psych ward when I was younger for that, I thought it would help but it just made everything worse. The only thing that gets me through gets me through my depression nowdays is meds to just make me sleep the days away, but this is no way to live. If you want to make music there's still that flame, that desire, it's not completely gone even if you're feeling like shit at the moment. I'm not saying 'jus b urself', but don't give up on that, I wish I had something I cared about doing, something I could create that another could appreciate. Hopefully the greyness goes away and you can make beautiful music, Anon.
>>25116704
Jesus Christ you just made me well up. I don't know if its depression, for all I know I could just be overdramatic or over exaggerating or something. But man, what you just wrote me was one of the most touching things I've read in a long time.
I know we're just two internet strangers and this probably means nothing, but damn it the fact that you could write something like that that made me feel a little better, even though you're crippled with depression, means you must be a real great person. It may feel like the end, but there's always hope for better days, and im sure you'll see them because I'll be fucked if you aren't a great person at heart. Keep going anon.
Just keep going.
>>25116656
l-location? plz be London.
I fantasize about strapping a bomb to my chest and finding a most densely populated area. I don't have the details ironed out but I am getting near my breaking point. I don't value my life like you value yours. I am just tired and lonely.. if there was an assisted suicide clinic I think I might save up. I can't take much more. I can't get mutual respect, people either patronize me or flat out refuse to affiliate. I've had enough.
>>25117216
If you're looking for an internet friend I can be one. Where would you prefer to chat?
If the finasteride doesn't work I'm killing myself no question.
>>25115308
>tfw complete failure
>tfw economic drain on my parents
>tfw I'm probably not gonna live to my 30s, due to poor health, suicide, or a combination of both
thinking I should just do it now and spare myself the trouble
>>25115308
I don't talk to my freinds anymore I pushed them away, I'm not comftorble around my family members, I'm so fucking bitter all the time, all I want to do is start fights with people but I'm to much of a pussy to do that, my social skills are noexistant I just don't click with people it seems,I don't want to kill myself but I don't want to live either
I was molested for 4 years by a close family member
It hurts. I just want to be allowed to exist but even that hurts.
>>25115308
>mfw my PTSDs block out any chance of venting
