Major feels thread. Have any of you robots ever been molested as a child?
>>25360784
no
i was not a sexy child
Recently I've become worried I have repressed memories of abuse, always been weird about sex but not totally dysfunctional, I have vague memories of sucking a drop of milk from my stepmothers breast (which is weird) when I was like 3 and wouldn't be surprised if my dad and her did some sick shit I've forgotten about but haunts me subconsciously
One of my male friends asked me if I wanted him to suck my cock.I let him do it. Shit was cash.
No, thankfully
A girl I know did when she was pretty young
Feels terrible knowing that that happened seeing as she's an ambitious talented girl next door kinda qt. Seems like she's able to turn something as awful as that and make something out of it as she has a ridiculously good work ethic and is studying child psychology or whatever it's called and music.
I don't know of anyone else I know personally that was
>>25360784
be me 5 year old guy
>get a sitter hired full time
>spend a ot of time alone with him everyday
>he's around 18 years old
>get on real well with him, look upto him like an older brother
>didn't have any siblings, was lonely mostly so having his company was chill
>one day im playing in my room
>he wants to play a rp game of restauran, im the chef
>play
>he complains that the food is shit, gets really angry
>never had to deal with that before so I kinda freeze
>he forces me to take off all my clothes and makes me blow him
>idk wtf is going on and he's got me pinned so can't escape
>scares me into keeping it a secret
>to sum up he used to rape me and do weird shit to me for around 5 years
>nobody found out, I've never told anyone I know
>repressed everything after it stopped when he got fired for something unrelated
>get messed up flashbacks when I was 19-20
>never had any other sexual relationship my whole life. flashbacks give me weird arousals
>makes me crave being submissive af
>always liked girls, still do
>but craving to relive childhood sexual trauma, conclude it's probably because it's the only memory I can associate with sex
>probably need prof help now
>7 years old
>half-sisters are 12-13
>father and one half-sister went to store to pick up some food
>other one stays at home with me
>I'm playing super smash on my n64
>decided i want to have some fun with my sister, since i never get to see her
>i decided to make up a game
>it's a kissing game
>whoever can land the most kisses is declared the winner
>my sister is wearing a large oversized white t-shirt, you can see right through and down it
>she has soft white panties on
>3 rounds in, i'm winning
>i have just landed another kiss, but this time she holds my head
>whatishapenin.png
>after a brief makeout, she throws me to the floor and starts thrusting her tongue in my mouth
>I have no fucking idea what is going on. i lie their motionless as she grabs my hands and puts them on her ass
>it's so big
>she stops kissing me and puts my small 7 year old cock in her mouth
>whatthefuck
allright, i think i've had enough reminiscence today.
I only remember the anal tearing that bled and the green ghonorea style discharge from my penis that stuck around for at least several weeks and a video camera on a tripod in the upstairs living room as well as other suspocious events and people in my life at the time and some serious memory gaps and personality changes for the worse
an older friend pressured me into giving him a handjob in the forest when I was about 12 or 13
he also wanted to put it in my bum, but I ran off
he was a complete piece of shit, caused me to lose a really good childhood friend, but that's another story
>>25362865
Thats the real shit right there anon, im sorry for what you went through, i just wanted to give a (you) so you know at least someone read your story. I hope you can come to terms with what happened and heal
>>25360784
Yea i just try to repress the memory and not think about it.
I've been depressed for a long time and after some shitty moments in school sending me to the principal's office I was finally put into therapy where it was discovered that I have repressed memories of being sexually assaulted by my uncle. When the news broke out it completely broke my extended family away from my immediate one. My mother wouldn't come out of her room for days, she was ashamed for letting that happen on her watch. My dad yelled at me, not in anger, but in fear, trying to figure out that it was some other childhood trauma that affected me so. My younger siblings who looked up to me now see me as damaged goods, as an example of what not to be when they grow up. Meanwhile, all contact has been cut with my uncle's family. The only time we ever saw them again was at my aunt's funeral and none of us would even look at each other. For the most part I've made my peace with it but the damage is done. I'm an emotionally stunted manchild with severe needs of validation and it's made it pretty much impossible to have an intimate relationship due to a very bad discomfort when it comes to things of a sexual nature.
>always was insecure, friend trolled me about never even trying to get a gf, some acquiantances did this too, frequently asked if i'm depressed, etc
>10 days in a year i suddenly and randomly become an alpha, full of confidence, i really feel like i can climb the fucking everest, i'm the ruler of my life, i feel happy
>it happens so rarely, but when it happens i almost have an euphoria, i want to have this feeling forever
>it disappears as fast as it appears
>355 days in a year i feel like complete shit, don't care about anything, no joy, no anger, nothing
>i just want to be happy, eat lsd like ken kesey, drink like bukowski, die like sid vicious
>>25363259
This happens to me too. Dexamphetamine replicates this feeling. I am not sure what the issue is, but I am going to try to treat myself with testosterone injections for a couple of months.
>>25363259
try tribulus first, testosterone injections would fuck up your hormonal system, i'd have consulted with /fit/ first, although i've been going to gym for 2 years and dropped after i started to feel completely numb after trainings
>>25363378 is answer to >>25363294
>>25363395
Alright, I've give it a try and see what happens. I've already got Test Enanthate 250. If Tribulus doesn't work, I'll try to get some Aromatase inhibitors and see how it feels to be in the top of the normal total testosterone range. (current total test is 400).
Thanks, Anon.
>>25360784
yes twice and almost a third
when i was in preschool my bully would take me to a hidden place in the playground and force me to show her my underwear. literally every day. i probably should have told someone.
>>25363517
at your place i'd be really careful with this
you can go with tribulus using cycles
4 weeks of using -> drop for 2-3 weeks -> repeat
drop immediately if you've got acne, aggression, troubles with your heart or kidneys
>>25363843
Are you going to try it too?
>>25362865
i hope things get better for you anon.
Yeah I used to go to a friends house who were my neighbours. One day I stopped seeing theme this is what happenedfuck greentext I can't properly do it that way. I should add to that those guys where rednecks (or the equivalent, in my country)
So I went to see them and it was kinda awkward with them, I didn't like that but I stayed there with them, and their father told them to go away "to buy stuff for the meal". He too told me to stay and wait for them so we could have dinner.
I was about 8 years old I think. Anyway the guy went over to his bed and opened a drawer, took out a couple mags and handed them to mee. Adult magazines. I was amazed, we kids all wanted to see what was in there and brag to the other kids when we were around them. I looked through them avidly looking up to the moment where I'd tell their kids their dad showed me an adult mag, with tities and all.
He asked me if I liked them and told me to take off my shirt. I didn't understand what was going on, and I didn't like it but he was in power so I did. I felt awkward now and I kept looking at the mags knowing I wouldn't like whatever would come next. He took off my pants. At first I resisted but he was still bigger and an adult so I gave in. He put his huge (to me at least) hairy dick between my buttcheeks and started moving it. I didn't like it but there was nothing I could do. He started telling me I was his little mama, and he asked me who I was, I had to respond his little mama.
We had about 3 sessions total. I kept going there to see my friends because, well, I liked them, but everytime he sent them off (or they weren't there for starters) and he just abused me. He never penetrated me. He made me stroke his dick, harder, he said everytime, and my hand was always too tired to do it fast enough. The last time he made me suck his dick. I didn't like that but I had to. I pulled out and he stroked it for a while and he came all over my kid body.
yes
but i was already fucked up mentally and sexually before that even happened
>>25365956
[comment too long]
Anyway, that's about all that happened. I never went there again, just once when I still wanted to see his kids, and he told me they weren't there. He told me to come in but I said no I had stuff to do and went back to my house. I told my mom (single mom) I never got to see the kids and that every time I went there their dad sarted talking to me like [and I'd talk suggestively "come in blah blah"] and she noticed what I meant and told me to never go there again.
I never ever told her about what happened partly out of embarassment and partly because I was always taught to respect adults, never had a father to tell me what to do when someone grabbed my dick, et cetera. So the guy told me t'was "our little secret" and so I felt compelled to keep the secret. I suggested to my mom when I used that tone in hopes she'd find out but she never did. Anyway I took her word to never go back just as I took his word to keep it a secret.
Never told this to anyone before. Now I'm a pedo. I'd never fuck a kid tho. I'm not even into little kids but teen boys, about the age of 12, still something broken inside me. Sometimes older men notice something in me and want to fuck me. Sometimes I give in and have myself get fucked by them.
Even as I wrote about my childhood abuse, I got kinda horny thinking of the whole scenario, even though I hated it at the time and pretty much fucked my sexual life and my ability to bond to sexual partners.
Anyway that's all, I hope you enjoyed or whatever my childhood story, it's true
>>25366109
poor anon, have a hug. and go to therapy senpai
This isn't molestation, but pressured things happened way before I was ready.
So i met my friend, I'll call her J, at the start of 8th grade. I recognized her cuz she hung with some of my bros in previous years. We started talking, clicked instantly. She was crushing on my best friend, and it made her super uncomfortable. Eventually she stopped and got back with her gf. J is kinda crazy. She says she has depression, anxiety, schitziphrenia, psychopath, sociopath, dyslexic, PTSD, and goes to a mental hospital every week. She bragged about that stuff, so i didnt believe her. She also said she killed five people, and i started crying and flippingbout because i thought i was super close to a murderer. Turns out that was a lie.
J broke up with her girlfriend, who i dont even know if is real. She could never get a picture of her and she said wild stories about her, and her girlfriend "texted" me from her phone. And apparently she moved in with her for a couple weeks. The gf didnt go to our school. Also, J said her girlfriend was a prostitute for drug money so J could do cocaine.
So anyways, freshly single girl was hitting on me and she asked me out and for some reason my awkward, bi-curious 13 year old self agreed. So, we were dating. Since we were both girls and my parents didnt know we were dating, my mom had no problem letting me spend every weekend from the end of school friday to late on sunday with her.
We are dating for like 3 months, kissing and cuddling and stuff but no sex. One day we make out and she starts grinding and tries to put her hand down my pants but i ask her to stop and she doesnt and then i puke on her. Then she gets angry and starts crying cuz she thinks itvs because i think shes disgusting, which i kinda do. She slaps me and holds me down. I cry. But im attatched so i still come back next weekend. Thats when she takes it too far. Shes begging to eat me out. I say im not ready. She pulls down my pants and holds me down. I run
>>25360784
Yes, regularly, by a pair of brothers living nearby to my house back when I was 5. It stopped at some point but I can't remember, I didn't even remember it until I was 14.
I try not to think about it, but I think it's probably why I hate fags so much.
..continuing story sorry it's long i ramble.
Im in the bathroom crying but i come out after about 20 minutes. When i get back to school on monday i tell my closest friend, who tells someone else who tells her. J hit me. Im still fucking attatched and i keep dealing with physical and sexual abuse until she dumps me 7 months later because she thinks im cheating. Then she harasses me trying to get me back. I got dumped like 2 days into summer vacation, and i decide im going to the school she wont go to(near my moms house instead of my dad)
She finds out from mutual friends and ends up going to the same hs as me. Yelled at me down the hallways. Spread rumors. Now im freaked out to date. And im defenitely not bi.
>>25363020
sounds hot. was it traumatic or exciting for you at the time?
HELP PLEASE!
I have been having this thought that I was molested by my father for a year and it literally will not go away. Anything I do, it just sticks there.
I was reading the symtoms of childhood sexuall abuse and I started to cry. What does this mean? Does it mean I believe it?
I remember a lot of things from my childhood one of them being in the shower naked with my dad. It's normal to have showers together then. I mean I was only a little kid...right??
My father told me he would never do anything but my fucking mind wont stop at this idea of me being molested.
I feel weird around him and dont like to be hugged because I feel awkward, in general.
I dont know what the fuck is wrong with me. I am scared of the dark when I was a kid and now .
TL;DR. Do you have to remember your memories? Maybe mine are repressed and they are only coming through now.
What do?
>>25367441
Go see a therapist. They're trained for repressed memories and stuff like that.
>>25360784
No, but I was nearly molested as a child. If it counts.
>Be 4
>Broke my leg from being a retard
>Go hospital by ambulance
>Mother was by my side the entire way
>Get X-Ray, Moved to hospital bed etc.
>Eventually my mother has been with me about 20 hours, no sleep
>Suddenly, the ambulance driver comes in
>Offers me some chocolate
>Tries to convince my mum that she should go and get some coffee
>She refuses
>Keeps trying, since she's been up so long
>Keeps refusing
>He comes back several times over the day, gives me sweets and drinks and tried to get my mum to leave
>She never would
>Never took much notice of it
>8 or so years later read in the newspaper he was sent to jail for molesting children, pretending to be a doctor.
>Literally a fucking testimony in the paper saying "He would lure the parent out, and then touch the child telling them he is a doctor"
>mfw
No. I kind of wish I was. Growing up I had absolutely no concept of sexuality and it made it difficult to fit in.
>>25367502
Ok, thanks anon.
I was just worried because everyone else here remembers what happened to them. I cant remember jack shit. I just have this very strong fucking feeling that something happened.
>>25367441
There are therapists trained to deal with repressed memories. However, some don't so i would recommend seeing a therapist but asking very early on (maybe even when booking the first appointment) whether they are trained for repressed memories.
But even if you don't seek help or don't recover your memories, your feelings are still valid. Trying to work through them will be so much better for you than trying to suppress them. Even if you think they might be a symptom of something else, they are still valid.
Hope you manage to take the steps to get help. I struggled with this for years (could remember being 'touched inappropriately' but my fear seemed disproportionate and i thought that other stuff might have happened too. Talking it through with a therapist has really helped me, even though i havent 100% gotten to the bottom of what happened
>>25367531
It makes it so much worse, believe me.
>>25360784
Diddled at 7 by my 5 year old brother, we were both really curious boys and didn't really know what sex was and he had the idea to practice it based on what we heard from tv so we would be great at it when we got girlfriends. I wasn't really feeling it but I didn't want to let him down cause we were so close then. He just kinda licked me in wierd places and made me wear a bra. Still makes me sad looking back.
>>25367706
Thanks for the reply.
muted for 2 sweguiwheg weg
Yes, molested as a child and strongly coerced into sex as a teenager.
>tfw want someone to be nice to you but feel like you dont deserve it
>tfw crave non-sexual and sexual intimacy but scared of it
pic unrelated
I think i have some repressed memories. Got some gaps in my childhood i don't remember
>>25367779
Whoops meant to say diddled at 5 by my 7 year old brother
>>25368108
tfw crave non-sexual and sexual intimacy but scared of it
I know how you feel, I have a gf and I've never told her any of this but whenever we do anything sexual I get a strong feeling of anxiety and sadness and just can't cum. The only time I can is when I'm by myself and even then after I cum I get really anxious and sad.
>tfw progressively fatter through childhood so nobody would rape me
>>25366109
I can see why you get horny thi n king about it because it sounds straight out of a shota doujin.
I'm sorry that happened to you anon. And I hope sharing that experience on here helped with coping in someway
I was molested and beaten by lover of my mom, raped at 15 and then I used to work as a hooker for 10 years. I feel totally mentally broken now and can't force myself to do anything except staying in doors. I don't want to return into prostitution and waste my entire life in that shit. But I can't live a decent life afterwards.
>>25369243
Any interesting stories from your prostitution years?
>>25369294
There were many stories, interesting and positive but mostly sad and painful.
>>25369350
Feel like sharing any or do you not want to drudge up any bad memories?
Three occasions I can remember. My dad used to fondle me sometimes. It was brief, but it was a recurring thing. It eventually stopped.
Then there was one time I was wandering around a doctor's office and a male doctor pulled me into a room and fondled me for a moment before sending me back out. I'm pretty sure it wasn't part of any routine examination. I don't think he was even my doctor.
Lastly, several people were visiting my family one evening, and a woman pulled me into my bedroom, held me down and fondled me before I escaped. I was so young that I don't think I could have explained it to my parents.
The only one that really disturbed me was the woman.But I'm gay, so I don't know if that's why the other two occasions didn't really bother me.To this day, I'm really uncomfortable with female doctors examining me. If I have to undergo any kind of urinary examination or anything that involves touching, I'll insist on a male doctor / nurse, or I just won't do it.
Another weird aspect of it is that examinations are inherently sexual to me, and in a very submissive way. I feel a strong urge to submit myself to male doctors / nurses and basically just let them abuse / molest / fondle me at their leisure. Not just an urge, but an expectation. If the scenario doesn't act out that way, then it's really disappointing and I feel like an idiot.
>>25360784
Was recently diagnosed with type one diabetes. Hasn't helped my depression desu
You punks had it easy.
My moms boyfriend made me suck his cock, then he punched me in the face. I was 12 here.
Some random obese nigress made me suck her musky tit when I was around 4.
I think I was 7 or younger at the time, a cousin of mine (who is a really shitty person even now, 11 years later) forced me to touch his dick and jerk him off, he is 5 years older than me so I thought he wasn't doing anything wrong being the older one and all. This kept going, not frequently but it kept going though the years, him touching me and making me touch him, eventually it escalated in him giving me oral sex and I letting him, I think he fucked my mind up because I get horny when I see a dude naked, I still like girls and have had girlfriends before but I just can't seem to get over that 'male nudity arousal' phase or whatever it is. I resent him for doing this to me to be honest, but I'm a happy person and have meaningful relationships with friends and family, I guess that is what it's keeping me sane, the love of my best friends and the desire to overcome the shit life throws at you.
I've never told this to anyone, and I don't know how I feel by doing it so, I just know that keeping it locked up does more harm that telling it to someone so yeah that's my story.
>>25360784
Yeah. I was raped a ton as a kid. Started at 6, and continued for several years. Was basically done by a girl in her teens. She'd do stuff like beating the shit out of me, sodomizing me with stuff, pissing on me, pushing my head down on my penis to make me suck my dick, etc.
I didn't really care.
Just found out my molester died in 2012. Feels good.
>>25362865
Oh my god. That's fucking terrible.
Try psychotherapy.
>tfw uncle (mid 30's) would molest me (7) when ever I was alone and separated from parents
>>25371963
Thanks for sharing, anon. I'm glad you're doing well regardless of that experience
>>25360784
Yes. iktfw
I think about it at least once a week and try to come to terms with it in a way that will allow me to move on. I still haven't found a way to do so.
>>25360784
Yes.By my mum.She's old and wrinkly, I avoid thinking about it when possible.
>Lately some deep repressed memories have been coming back to me
>They're from when I was most likely 2 or 3 years old
>Mother was busy with college, and father worked so my mom would have her friend babysit me
>Her friend was incredibly fat and had an awful BO problem, to the point where I would cry being anywhere near her
>I could never remember the visits themselves
>Recently remembered being pushed down during a visit
>I would just yell over an over "It stinks, it stinks!" while sobbing
It's a bit frightening remembering all of this.
>>25365956
>>25366109
What country are you from? Your syntax is unfamiliar to me
>>25362865
>not rating this faggot out to your family
if you have any slight evidence you can fuck this guy for life
hello, reporting in
>be young (probably 10-12)
>friends with family friend's son who is around four years older
>tells me to do him a favors (ie., sexual favors)
>don't know any better and agree
>suck his dick, jack him off, while he does the same to me
>watches porn with me
>eventually he starts doing buttstuff to me
>think it's all normal
>eventually trade these sexual favors for toys
>one day don't want to do it anymore
>holds me down and sticks it in
>tell him not to come inside
>does
sorry that was all over the place and I'm sure I'm forgetting things
sometimes I think about sucking dick, but I'm not attracted to guys
I think it's why I think I like traps and am beta
pls respond
>be me, average 12 y/o
>meet the new kid in school, kinda weird but what ever,
>go by his house everyday to just hang out
>he has a huge pool, all the video games, everything
>a few weeks in i met his dad and hes creepy as fuck
>now always hanging around.
>dad works up the nerve and says he only wants to treat me like an adult.
>1 year of repressed memories.
>be about 7 or 6
>have friend I met through t-ball
>becomes best friend
>used to do this thing which he called "weiner weiner"
>he would grab my dick and jerk it off and such
>me being stupid at this age didn't know what it is
>still know him to this day (not friends anymore)
>haven't told anyone
>keep it hidden in my darkest memories
>>25362865
That's normal to fantasize about the abuse. I fap to memories as well. Talk about having issues.
>>25375546
Could you guys even cum at that age?
time to fap desu senpai desu senpai baka baka baka baka baka baka
Have a few
kid who I presume as a cousin or neighbor was playing monopoly and then suddenly had turned over to suck my cock when I was about 4. He was about 12 at that age, I enjoyed it a lot desu.
A year later I meet the new neighbors after moving to GA and one of which was this little cunt we called Pj, beat his ass the first time I met him
We eventually become real buds but when we were alone, since his dad was gone all the time, he'd jerk off In front of me and do weird shit to his dog and show me magazines. Eventually learn to jack off from him and one day I think I sucked him off I'm not sure.
Beat him up again the following day and never come back. The guy has a kid now and he's scum like his dad. I occasionally used to let older men blow me for favors while whoring myself out to a few girls here and there during high school. Shit was cash.
>>25375210
that sucks anon, sorry that happened to you
I was molested by my older brother
>be me 9 yes old
>mildly autistic so v innocent
>don't understand sexual stuff at all
>wanted to play bioncles toys
>made me play a game or else id never get to play
>shoves his cock into me repeatedly
>I was 9
>he was 15
I was 9...
I still get flashbacks.
My ex broke up with me because of it.
I hate it.
I wish I could kill him.
But there's a police investigation going on so I'd be prime suspect.
Even though dad said he would admit to it if I did.
I think I'm going to wait til he gets convicted and then tell someone in his cell block.
>>25375210
You didn't deserve that anon WTF that makes me so angry someone would do that to you ;_;
molested by my ex-step father
from about ages 5-12 years old
guess i was too old for his taste after that
hes the only person in my life i had ever truely wanted to kill
