as you do
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You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001
You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001
as you do
>reading 'my twisted world' by the dodge on my normiepad
>teacher comes and tells me to put it away cause its school
>autistically forget its a killers manifesto and say "i'm reading so it's okay. see?" and hold it up to show her the screen
>mfw she looked at it briefly and said okay then walked away
>mfw i was on the part about enslaving all women
thank god she didnt actually read it
>Be in school
>Walking in the hallways
>See Stacey that I talked to somewhat
>"HEY I'M SO GLAD TO SEE YOU!!"
>She comes up to me as if she wanted a hug
>Prepare myself for a hug
>She doesn't hug me
>She hugs her Tyrone friend who was behind me
>She then notices me
>"Oh hey, anon."
>Turns around and walks with Tyrone
not sure if these are even that bad to anyone else but i cringe when i think abt em
>seventh grade, reading alone at lunch like i usually do
>playing with my spit, like sucking it in and out of my mouth
>kid sits down next to me and tries to talk to me
>lose control of my spit and it ends up everywhere, all over my book, face, clothes
>kid stops mid-sentence and just gets up and walks away
oh
>at job
>just took a massive shit in the bathroom
>as i'm leaving a regular customer starts to go in there
>panic
>tell them "don't go in there i just pooped and it smells terrible"
>they are fucking flabbergasted
>don't make eye contact with them ever again
>>25342874
today
>walking through car park
>see woman i used to work with with her kids
>i used to think 8/10, come to think of it i fapped over her last night
>don't want to talk to her so just don't acknowledge her
>get in car and contemplate what an asshole i am
>later on Facebook her apologising cos i wasn't wearing my glasses
>she didn't reply
i'm working from her office tomorrow so i'll see her again. she'll talk to me no doubt but we will both know that i am a horrible social retard
>>25342874
This is my favorite, I always wanna kill myself when I remember it
> Be in college, my 2nd semester and in a speech class
> Be severe autist so a speech class is my worst nightmare
> Turns out to be a pretty cool class and all the normies are pretty stand up guys and gals
> Getting groups together for final
> I get put in a group with one guy and this girl that might have been into me or at the very least, slightly interested in me
> Fast forwarding, day of the final speech project
> Forgot to write down one of the parts I was supposed to do
> Stand up there like a fucking retard until the other guy takes over
> Leave the class immeadiately after presentations were done, can't stomach the thought of contacting the girl (whose number I had) because I humiliated myself
How did I not kill myself after doing that? Ruined a chance with a qt because of autism
>>25342949
that was autistic, friend. good job
>>25342966
yes this is fucking cringe.
>playing with spit
>literally showing off to the public to see your gross saliva
the second one was just funny. It's expected the bathroom to smell bad.
>just pretend a guy made a mess and you just walked in
>>25342992
>later on Facebook her apologising cos i wasn't wearing my glasses
what does this mean? did she notice you? >>25343028
isnt that bad. you just forgot something
>>25343121
It was horrible, I was standing there for like 30 seconds in silence. brb gonna destroy my body with junk food
>>25342966
>not sure if these are even that bad
theyre that bad
Start of the semester
>live in a college dorm in another state so meeting a lot of people for the first time
>we have a mandatory meet and greet for everyone on our floor to get to know each other
>some initial anxiety but I feel somewhat comfortable because my girlfriend of a year almost two also lives on my floor
>meet this pretty hispanic girl, like one of the prettiest I've ever seen after the fact
>ask her name it's Noelle I reply "that's pretty, like Christmas" thinking of that new Chris Tucker stand up where he talks about how Michael Jackson used to call him Christmas as a result
>she tells me she was actually born on Christmas
>we somehow become genuinely best friends just because we talk in passing so much, her room being directly across from my girlfriends
>I'm a 21 year old freshman so she asks me to pick up a load of alcohol over the thanksgiving break because neither of us were able to go home for it
>tfw we literally netflix and chill, I fuck her without so much as a condom because the ones they give away at the health center are too small and i've only fucked my girl for the previous few months
>that awkward feeling when I see her pretty much every day since then with my girlfriend but have to keep it on the down low
>tfw she has a long distance boyfriend who occasionally visits
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fXdu3pwT4ps
>>25342966
proper sperglord
>>25342992
>apologising when she prolly didn't even see you
theres your mistake
>>25343028
not that bad man shit happens
> most annoying girl at School makes YouTube Videos.
> Videos are fucking stupid, hilariously Bad at the very best. Everyone makes fun of her videos.
> write a troll comment about masturbating into her face and REALLY fucked up shit with my troll account, obviously a joke.
> some Chad at school knows its my troll accou t and tells her.
> she knows that i wrote about fapping in her face and she is too mentally retarded to realize it was a fucking joke
If she is too stupid to realize i wasn't serious, should i give a fuck?
>>25342949
>Stacy acknowledging your existence
Gtfo normie
>>25343266
Link to account please.
>>25343266
post links
we can help
>>25342940
Heh, she probably read it and acted like she didn't to avoid awkward things
>>25343298
I won't link anything. It was some time ago and i won't let 4chan fuck me up.
>>25343175
>30 seconds
>not telling your group in advance to cover you
oh well anon
enjoy your junk food
>>25343266
no not really
>tfw cant think of autistic stories
>>25343175
She probably didn't care that much tbqh
>>25343028
lol this isn't even a big deal
>>25342949
Exactly why whenever similar things happen to me I do a quick check to see who they're really addressing.
>>25342874
>be at work related bowling thing
>just got accepted to uni + super excited
>tell everyone i got accepted because i'm an autist
>tell coworker
>he puts his hand out a bit
>i go to shake it
>in the middle of the shake, i realize he wasn't intending to shake my hand
>pull out quickly
>feel horrified
>brain was too clouded by uni, that i become autist, destroyer of reputation.
>>25343343
I wonder where that guy is now.
>>25343383
>>25343390
If you witnessed it, it was definitely the most autistic thing you've seen in your life.
>be at work
>talking to coworker
>talking about how much i love judaism because she hates jews
>random, hot guy comes in
>orders coffee and goes to sit
>keep chatting to coworker
>customer looks jewish
>overhears me
>comes up to counter and smiles + winks at me
>i look away quickly
>tfw i can't talk or even smile at hot guys
I never participate in these because my whole life is one long drawn out embarassment. Doesn't it get to a point where you just stop giving a shit?
>>25343175
I know it probably felt bad for you but trust me when i say that ive seen a lot worse in my school time and even did worse myself. it was never a big dealbecause its basically like fucking up a test only as a speech and everyone fucks up at some school stuff. this girl probably didnt mind at all.
>>25343266
how the hell did some chad know about your troll acc??
>>25343253
You fucking normie.
What about that story is autistic?
>>25343442
>b3ing proud cause you got accepted to said uni
sounds like normie behavior to me
pretty autistic where you shaked his hand but your normieness just overtook you :^)
>>25343510
thats cute anon. I wish something like that happened to me
>>25343543
Also this was in front of the whole class.
Not the first person in this situation, I'm sure
>classmate asks to borrow my laptop for a bit
>sure, but I need to unlock it first
>unlock
>femdom porn
>click porn away, but classmate saw
>/gif/ thread about femdom porn
>click away /gif/ thread, but classmate saw
At least he was understanding and never mentioned it to me or anyone else as far as I know
>>25343510
You're on the wrong board JIDF.
>>25343540
not really. I can barely think of any autistic stories because I pay a lot of attention to what I do and say when I am around people.
>either that or I am so autistic that I think my behavior is normal
>>25343626
everyone has there kinks. I'm sure your friend does too and would be embarrassed if someone saw his
not autistic.
>unless its some weird MLP/Furry shit
A friend of a friend of a friend of a "friend" oft mine knew it because i linked a troll Video or a troll comment oft this account. I fucking hate people.
I hate this memory the most:
>Biology Class
>was a nerdy socially akward beta kid back then, wasn't autistic or retarded but was a loner
>Had to do a project to either write a 4 page report on a animal of your choice or do a slideshow presentation
>the slide show was shorter but it would mean I had to present to the class so I just wrote the report
>turns out everyone else did the slideshow
>was the only one who didn't have to go up and present project
>sweet.jpg
>class is presenting one by one
>As he tells me to come up and present (he forgot that I wrote the report instead)
>"oh that's right anon, okay" he then picks a Stacy who sat two seats behind me to present next
>"but Mr.Anon why does Anon have to present his project"
>Attempt to reply with a smart Alec answer
>Spaghetti Drop in 3..2...1..
>I reply "because I'm special"
>akward silence
>realize I've fucked up severely
>a kid replies with muttering "yeah your special......retard"
>class laughs
>teacher has no idea what he said so he just ignores it
>Had a perfect day until I opened my mouth
>>25343699
Normies have the worst jokes. Especially back in High School
>>25343253
you
get the fuck out
>>25343640
>either that or I am so autistic that I think my behavior is normal
This is why its pointless to try. You wake up one day to realize you were so focused on your own ser of rules and everyone thinks you're a cunt anyway.
>>25343762
set* fuck I hate touch screens so much.
>>25343699
shit man that reminds me back in high school I know kids who would do that and kids who would point it out...
feel bad for you :/ was pretty autistic
>>25343442
>i become autist, destroyer of reputation
>>25343458
I witness people fucking up their presentations pretty much every time there's a presentation. There's this weird doughy hispanic kid in one of my courses who paused in the middle of his presentation started laughing to himself then staring at the audience until the professor said "go on" and while that shit made me cringe it has fuck all to do with my life, if that girl is interested in you she'll be interested in you regardless of your terrible public speaking.
In fact I myself am a normie and I HATE public speaking, most people do, I don't think I did great on my presentation for the course but this blonde in my class came up to me and complimented me on it afterward. It's not as bad as you think it is, it never is.
>>25343762
I hope not ;_;
All of my friends say I'm nice and always know just what to say.
>tfw my friends are secretly laughing at my autism behind my back
>>25343699
No the teacher knew but what does he do? The damage is done, if he punishes the kid it makes it worse for you.
>be me
>move from place full of ugly people to place full of hot people summer before beginning high school
>am ugly grill, not many of them around
>be bright red target for literally everyone to make fun of including teachers
>stop trying to make friends
>sit alone at lunch near beginning of year
>group of hot grills all surround me and ask if they can sit down to eat lunch
>now self conscious people people noticed I'm sitting alone
>"s-sure..."
>tell me they're in some club that sits with people when they are alone at lunch
>don't talk much to them when they try and make small talk because embarrassed
>they make some excuse about needing to go and leave
tl;dr the group to make losers not try and an hero even left me
>>25343253
hot story friend-o
>Junior year of highschool
>My group of friends and I were chilling at one of the guy's houses
>Tons of alcohol
>Tons of 420 ebin
>Friend's mom was home so we couldn't do shit inside the house but there was this soccer field behind his house that we used for consuming the contraband
>Kind of flirting with this one 7/10 before actually going on to the field to get pissed
>We all hed back to the field and kick around some soccer balls inbetween sips and tokes
>One of my friends says "Yo, some fuck is running towards us."
>I book it back to the house with like two other guys
>Thankfully the guy's mom is upstairs and doesn't hear shit (it was a very fucking big house)
>Go into the basement and hide out
>Afraid that everyone else but us got busted
>Head back outside to scope out the situation
>Literally nothing had happened
>But, four of the hottest girls from our school showed up
>Sit in a big circle and pass around a bottle
>Become buzzed
>One of the hot girls comes up to me and gets fairly touchy
>Reciprocate the touchiness and she kisses me
>She leads me away from the rest of the group to a set of bleachers and we make out for a bit
>One of my boys and another gal come over to the bleachers we were on to make out as well
>After this I follow her wherever she leads me on the field to makeout
>We then decide to go to my friend's trampoline im his backyard
>Hook-up somemore on the tramp and see tits and feel tits irl for the first time
>Am slightly buzzed so I laugh when she offers up her teat for me to suck because I don't know how to properly
>Other people decide to get on the tramp, protect her from exposing herself
>We all head back into the house and into the basement, we find a dirty ass bathroom
>I sit on the toilet and she hops on my lap
>We makeout a bit more and she then decides to suck me off which is another first for me
>C A N 'T F E E L S H I T C A P 'N
>Have no fucking clue what to do with my hands either
connt...
>doing presentations
>guy is next
>he has a speech impediment
>he stutters real bad
>everybody tries to keep a straight face
>he's finally done, and the professor goes to give him feedback
>never mentions the stuttering
>>25343699
Fuck, u just reminded me of one of my worst ones
>HS Biology, watching movie on ocean life
>halfway through movie theres a part about jelly fish releasing billions of sperm
>make joke "no wonder the ocean is so salty"
>whole room laughs
>later, paranoid that people probably think I tasted my own or someone elses cum
>I've never actually tasted cum, this is just an old ass joke.
>spend rest of the day denying knowing wat jizz tastes like and that its an old joke
still not sure if people believed me
I got one
>Way back in elementary school
>two stacey bitches would bully me constantly
>made fun of my tiny body and my stupid jokes
>At this point I was fully innocent, and I was basically 100% pure
>They beat me down for an entire year with their cruelty
>At one point, I got fed up and straight up asked why they were so mean to me
>"You seem weird Anon"
>I remember some inspirational quote from some movie I watched with my parents, one about how people are more complex than they appear
>I respond "You just have to dig a little deeper"
>They look at me like Im autistic and mock me with that phrase for the rest of the day
>Looking back, that was when I became cold
Children are fucking sociopaths man
>>25343829
Yeah true, I don't blame him honestly but I can see the expression on his face, he knew spaghetti was spilt
>>25343626
one fetish that is surprisingly common with normos is latex for some reason
>>25343864
nobody cares fucking normie
>>25343564
I personally thought it was awkward cause I said "that's pretty like Christmas"
>>25343610
of course, isnt every presentation of this kind in front of the whole class?
i can just tell you about my final philosophy exam... im german so i dont know how to describ it really but it made a really huge percentage of grades.
>i can decently speak in front of people
>i actually was the best in class so i thought it would be easy
>just 3 teachers and 1 qt from another class ive never seen before
>think for some reason its a good idea to talk of my personal views to the theme i had to speak about(i didnt know it before i started)
>i think it got pretty weird
>forget about the strict time limit
>havent even enough time to begin with the last question
>totally fuck up the most important oral exam in my school live because i talked gay shit about my feelings.
>even the teacher felt sorry for me
but honestly i dont mind that much because its just a fucked up exam like many before and ive never seen this girl again.
>>25342874
>be me in high school 1 century ago
>girl I have talked to a couple times passes me going the opposite direction
>hear "hi!" as she passes by
>say hi back
>look back
>she's on the her phone
>her and her friend laugh at me
It hurts to remember.
>>25343993
you personally are a faggot
>>25343266
Don't even sweat it unless you get into trouble. Nobody can prove its you...
>>25343699
You are a modern science miracle.
>>25343253
And then you complained on /r9k/ how all girls are lying whites right? Get the fuck out
>>25342949
Damn that's cold. Kinda happened to me but with a friend I used to know. Not awkward enough for a greentext.
>>25343852
ehh reminds me of my high school. I was always a loner and never would sit down in lunch.
nice autistic story friend
>>25343880
was probably bad at speeches. there are alot of people like that
>>25343885
top kek
I'm pretty sure you can still play it off as a weird taste.
you good anon
>>25343908
>you just have to dig a little deeper
holy shit anon thats autistic
laughing my ass of here m8
I can only imagine how they were making fun of you
I have to agree tho children are fucking crazy. They can tear you to pieces
>which is why im a NEET
>>25344004
shit m8 I remember I've done this multiple amounts of times
>be me at school/work
>hear "hi anon"
>say hi back
>wasnt for me
>>25344088
Lying whores*
Autocorrect got me
Why are you such a faggot?>>25344051
>>25344051
That was my plan, happened over a year ago. I stopped shitposting autistic bullshit since then until i discovered 4chan.
>>25344110
oops forgot >>25343880
>has speech impediments
this definitely isn't cringe then. how is the professor suppose to fault him for that?
>>25344088
No, I just literally fall in love with any pretty girl I meet, so when they reciprocate my attraction I can't help myself. I've been a hopeless romantic since like elementary school
>>25343253
Get out normalshit. REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
>>25344110
yeah I literally did the stereotypical eat-lunch-in-the-bathroom-stall-and-cry every day after that until the other weird kids accepted me
>>25344142
This isn't a cringe thread, it's a social awkwardness thread. And the atmosphere was definitely awkward.
>>25343253
FUCK OFF NORMAN
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>25342874
>be freshman college fag
>hang out with black roommate
>he knows qt twin asian grills
>b4 school semester starts, we hang out and there's a bunch of activities going on
>actually hit it off with 1 of the grills
>we pair off and im sitting with grill at around midnight
>things are going well, we see a drunken couple having sex on a fountain and it provides for good conversation
>"so anon, do you like me?"
>oh fuk
>"..uh yeah, I actually really like you"
>"oh.."
>"how about you?"
>silence
>"I don't really like you like that"
>sinking feeling
>I try and forget it and continue on and have fun as the night progresses
>we laugh and generally still have fun thanks to this
>its l8 night and we're sitting on a ledge thing together, time to put the moves on
>try and put my arms around her, and kiss her
>she backs away and said she didn't like me like that
>i feel retarded
>we walk back to dorm in awkwardness
>she walks me to my room
>i stand there halfway expectantly and halfway autistic
>"oh fine.."
>she hugs me and walks away
>i lay in my bed considering sweet sudoku
>>25344153
holy shit anon you just brought memories back
>be me in high school
>eat in bathroom
>kids would walk in
>they would smell food
>point out that someone is eating in here
>SHIT.jpg
>face gets insta red
>hide in stall until they leave
feel like shit now
>>25343253
Get the fuck out you limey piece of shit normie
>>25344328
why the fuck would she ask if you like here if she didnt like you. like tf
>>25344331
it's an awful feeling, i know it well
remember trying to be as quiet as possible when people walked in so maybe they wouldn't notice?
god i hated high school
>>25344143
You're not a romantic. You're just a scumbag.
>tfw I sperged out so much people got used to it and became friends with me
>I started as the complete retard and blossomed into a lovable Rin
>>25344328
mixed up expressions m8
>going out late at night by the two of yourselves
>not expecting to make out
I think she was just shy or some shit. I really can not bring myself to think why a girl would want to do that unless you guys were smoking/drugs/or something?
>then again i am a kissless virgin loser
>>25344365
ik dude, chicks are like that, fuckin dumb
>senior year of high school, final exams
>sitting next to some Italian bitch from my homeroom class, she's dumb as fuck
>she's trying to calculate something or other, has to do 55+55 on a calculator
>I loudly tell my friend a few chairs over that this girl is an idiot who needs a calc for 55+55
>I tell him this in spanish so she doesn't understand
>She turns to me and says in spanish "I can understand you you asshole
>This is where I find out she is not italian, but some kind of Cuban American hybrid
>In too deep at this point
>Reply back with "thats fine, you're still stupid for not knowing basic math"
>She, obviously mad goes "ok asshole you tell me what 55+55 is then"
>Quickly reply 110
>She goes "that's not even right, asshole you're stupid"
>I laugh at her as she turns forward again and does it on the calculator to see that I'm right
>Forced to sit right next to her for the next 3 hours, gave no fucks but her jimmies were clearly in a knot
>mfw
Turned out pretty good desu
>>25344368
shit mate this is really bringing back some of my high school stories
>be me in high school
>hanging out in bathroom so I dont get forced back to cafeteria
>football kids walk in
>thisisbad.jpg
>open door but dont leave
>it closes and am sitting behind wall where they can not see me
>hear "hey anon you that kid he is such a weirdo"
>another kid says "he never talks"
>"yeah what a freak"
>mfw am literally scared
>they go to the door and see me
>they start laughing
fuck me.
>>25343266
I can relate
>in highschool
>too autistic to have any friends
>spend all my freetime on /i/ and /b/
>think Habbo Hotel and Stickam raids are cool and want to impress people
>tell friend about it and sweet memes
>two weeks later find out a group of popular girls had a youtube channel with some shitty videos on it
>post a mean comment, call one of them a nergo, because that's what my sweet 4chan buddies would do
>tell my "friend"
>he immediately tells them
>they bully me and insult me for the rest of highschool
>too much of an autist to do anything
>fast forward ten years
>still an aspie
>still browse 4chan
>>25344539
Are you niggas fucking retarded? Why the fuck would you sit in a bathroom that reeks of shit and urine rather than go to the cafeteria and try to talk to somebody?
How is it less anxiety inducing to eat your lunch in a stall where you are guaran fucking teed to be mocked if someone sees you versus eating lunch where you're literally meant to eat lunch?
>>25344553
Fuck those "friends".
>>25343699
i think we all have one like that
>senior year in high school
>economics teacher talking about poverty
>telling us about how poor people are more likely to waste money on vices
>like fast food, drugs, and even porn, she says
>i raise my hand and she calls on me
>"ACTUALLY PORN IS FREE ON THE INTERNET"
>literally everyone cracks up including teacher
>as the laughter dies some smartass chirps up
>"where do you find your porn anon?"
>"UHH HAHA Y'KNOW EVERYWHERE"
>half the kids' sides lie in ruin
>i am the weird porn kid for the rest of the year
>>25342874
>be fat kid all of my life
>get /fit/ in high school, but still sperg
>in school band which requires yearly "fitness" test
>have to run back and forth across the hall, timed
>show up that day in overly sporty clothes in order to show off aesthetics adn physical skills to pleb grills
>some girls give me bedroom eyes because muscles, but im autistic so don't pay attention really
>everyone in band lines up for the run. most people are wearing jeans and normal attire while I look like a Laker's wannabe
>"fitness" test starts, huffing and panting because i don't cardio and only life weights
> >50% of the other band fags finish with better times than me
>stare at athletic shoes in shame
>>25344454
>1st story is weird, at least you didn't put it in his face
>2nd story is just funny
>3rd story is just /b/ tier humor
>>25344553
that was pretty funny m8 but the part where you got outed
>>25344616
nah thats how it works. If you sit in the cafeteria. you will either
>be excluded in a big table and be a focus of attention
or
>unable to find a seat and have to beg for one from people you don't know
>they eventually call you out and tell you to fuck off.
>sit in corner and be a loner faggot
>even more attention gets to you
there were cliques and people wouldn't be so open to let people in.
the bathrooms aren't even that bad, they dont smell and are maintained pretty good unless you go to the old side of the school
>>25342874
from the perspective of a guy I knew
>make a scavenger hunt for qtpie French horn player I've liked for months
>involves her going to multiple people and places throughout the day
>know her schedule, and get people to help
>at the end, I'll be right behind her in a suit with flowers, and a sign that says "prom?"
>it's after school, and I see her going to her locker
>there's a crowd of people around us
>she turns around and has an embarrassed/cringe face when she sees me
>comes over and hugs me
>feelssogoodman
>everyone is expecting an answer
>"maybe"
>mfw she said maybe
>mfw she actually just said no right after
>overhear her talking about how weird and desperate I am
>feelsbadman
>>25344720
but it is true... I don't get it. Kids will try to make fun of anything these days
>>25344737
well at least girls thought you looked good... maybe
>>25344765
wow. that must feel like shit.
>pretty much why I don't ask out anyone
>>25343815
iktf, theres no escape
>tfw everyone is nice in the skype but they're probably annoyed at me
>tfw this post is probably cringe as fuck
>Be 18
>Going to a thing called national defense day in Portugal.
>I'm in bus.
>Girl sat on my side.
>I'm starting to get nervous, and when I'm nervous I have to piss many times.
>Ask bus driver if he can stop, so I go pissing.
>Bus driver says No.
>Go sit again.
>Was almost pissing myself.
>Go ask again to the bus driver, but this time he says yes, just because I told him that I was nervous.
>Finished pissing
>Go to bus.
>All the bus starts laughing at me, and I didn't knew anyone there.
Worst day ever, and 2 days later I started taking anti-depressants
>>25345068
I don't get why everyone was laughing?
did you say outloud you needed to piss?
maybe you pissed yourself and left an odor?
I have no fucking clue
>i didnt know anyone there
??? didnt you not know anyone there from the beginning?
>>25344426
Greentext that shit
Rin best girl
>>25343253
get out, right now.
not only because your story is not slightly autistic or awkward, but because other anons will rip you a bigger asshole than me.
get the fuck out
>>25343699
this sounds like event in elementary school
>neet for years as a kid due to an illness
>get healthy
>get to college age
>parents make me go to a community college
>"but mom, I haven't been outside in years! I have panic attacks when I go outside!"
>they take me to the doctor
>get me on anti-anxiety pills
>day before college
>take like 10x the normal dose
>getting really scared of my first day at college
>go to college zoned out of my fucking mind. i feel like throwing up. my head hurts. everything blurs together
>all the new guys in the college get put into one room
>feel confident as fuck
>no panic attacks, even though this is the first time I have been out of my house in about 5 years, and suddenly I am all alone with people I don't know
>start talking to people
>talking really fast. have no idea what's going on
>they start talking about chicks
>they say they get SO much pussy
>i'm like "bitch i get more pussy than u"
>they say they can get more hugs from hot chicks than i can
>YEH BITCH BRING IT
>we spend the whole day at college asking girls for hugs. kept count. I got 56. even grabbed one girl's ass (it was k tho). only got rejected about 5 times
>got one girl's number and later fucked her. she wasnt that hot tho
Sometimes you gotta take risks. Sometimes you gotta be a fuken crackhead who goes to school high. Awkward af, but I got some pussy, and it helped me get accustomed to college. Made a lot of good friends there, and became genuinely popular. I am glad I did that.
>>25342940
kek kids these days
For every year we had to go through the mandatory brainwashing about the holocaust, in every single history class (even in one class that was supposed to be focused on East Asian history), I'd break out my copy of Mein Kampf, displaying the title prominently, making sure the teacher saw it, and would kick my feet up and laugh and make loud, thoughtful-sounding noises, and just do whatever to show that I was far more interested in the book than in kike fairy tales.
Is that really the edgiest thing you could've done, anon? Reading some virgin faggot's vain ramblings, on your phone?
I miss my trip pants...
>at school
>doing some computer programming shit
>start getting frustrated because my shit program doesn't want to compile or some bullshit like that
>"MAN THIS SHIT IS SO STUPID!"
>one faggot kid says, "stupid? what, like you?"
>know he was gonna say that as soon as he said the "what"
>shout back at him "YEAH A BIT LIKE YOU, STUPID!"
>class laughs at him
>mfw
>>25344436
girls are not shy, it's because they are just not interested in someone that they don't talk
>>25345146
No, i didn't knew anyone there.
>>25345303
actually not true with some girls, although it is true with more talkative ones
>>25345303
I dont get that then why would she hang out with you
>late to class
>teacher asks me why I was late. he's clearly fucking pissed off
>say "do you really want to know why?"
>"yes"
>start walking back to my seat as I say "I'm late because I was taking a fat smelly shit"
>whole class laughs
>sit down
>teacher just looks at me for a second then carries on the lesson
yeah bitch u better carry on before i smack ya
>have to go to some induction thing start of September
>get into circle
>eventually told to tell the whole group what we did over the summer
>everyone lists all the fun things they did
>gets to me
>did nothing all summer so just stutter "I don't know"
>little to no laughter but the cringe was visible on everyone's faces
>at school
>gotta do a report on something stupid
>one kid asks "how long has the report gotta be?"
>teacher says, "no longer than 2 pages"
>he says "no more than 2 pages? then why would i even do 1?"
>class literally cant stop laughing for about 20 minutes
>>25343253
DELET THIS POST
>be me
>8 years old
>at school hanging out by myself
I would get regular stomach pains because I didn't eat anything but cheerios until I was 5
>my only friend comes up and starts talking to me
>stomach pains occur
>run to the bathroom without saying anything
>friend follows
>sit down to take shit
>hear other people come in
>not done yet
>flush toilet before I finish and stand up
>toilet overflows
>fuck.gif
>run out of stall and slip on floor
>now I'm covered in shit
>restroom is clear
>I sigh in relief and exit bathroom forgetting I'm covered in shit
the restroom is next to the school entrance and recess just ended
>everyone staring at me
haven't been able to go into a public restroom since
>>25345360
sorry to tell you but...probably to laugh at you later with her friends.
>>25345363
sounds funny more than awkward. although the teach was probably the one weirded out kek
>>25345395
dont worry anon this board(even site) is full of people like that. we are all the same
>>25345398
he makes a valid point
>>25345518
shit, anon. Well at least you were young and it wasnt when you were in say high school... still awkward hopefully no one make fun of you for that
>>25345360
because we're the coolest kids in school
>>25345229
>trying to take the moral high ground when you literally needed drugs to get a hug
>>25345885
I'm sorry that I needed drugs to overcome social anxiety. I don't take the drugs now. Try being a full-blown NEET for YEARS and then go to college. See how well you do. Fagot.
>>25345363
you just reminded me of a not awkward story but something that pissed me off and still pisses me off
>in sixth form
>teacher was notoriously sexist towards males
>arrive late to class by around 10 minutes
>teacher starts going ape shit and makes me explain in detail why I was late
>was late because the bus was late, nothing I could do about it
>not a good enough excuse, get a disciplinary
>20 minutes later a grill walks in late
>teacher gave no fucks and just asked why she was late
>"i'm really sorry I forgot to set my alarm last night"
>"don't worry about it, happens to us all! haha!"
>get really pissed off
>say fuck this and leave
>almost get home and realise i'd forgotten my bag
>walk back to get bag
>class had ended by this point
>wait outside for someone to come and unlockt he door
>the teacher walks past, ask her to open it
>says "sorry, I don't want to be late for my bus" and walks away
>mfw
>had to fuck around for like half an hour trying to find someone who had a key to the room
>got a formal warning for disrupting class
>told them about the teacher being a cunt and they did nothing
I'm pretty sure she is at least 80% of the reason I hate women
>>25345877
>>25345601
thats dumb
>>25346065
and this is really dumb
I hate women too anon. They are strange and always blame us.
>>25345964
>claims to have been NEET
>literally a middle schooler that whole time
also
>muh social anxiety
>>25345964
>social anxiety
why dont you grow up and get a real disease like depression ?
>>25346105
>>25346143
I ain't saying social anxiety is a big deal. I am saying it ISN'T a big deal. I took a few drugs, and dealt with it. I'm sorry that I can actually get over my ailments.
>>25345621
they laughed at me for several, several long years.
>>25345518
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1hZ76q3ywJP
>>25346277
emptyhero?
>>25343253
>started reading
>>but my girlfriend
good way to make me stop reading your shit story, fuck off back to /soc/
> Be ugly guy, OK body, younger and not self aware
> Invited to friends gfs birthday party
> Its in local village and my younger normie sis comes too
> dancing
> dancing
> "sexy and I know it" comes on
> topless dancing
> actually get attention from girls in ironically
I don't know how cringy it was, maybe I got away with it idk.
>>25343864
continue shit looks like a fun story
>>25342966
>tell them "don't go in there i just pooped and it smells terrible"
>they are fucking flabbergasted
why was it wrong for him to say it smelled bad? too much information?
I have so many.
Here's a couple that literally happened in the last few days.
>Run into girl I haven't seen since high school
>She doesn't recognize me at first
> "Is that anon...OMG, you look SO different"
>Touches my abs & says "What have you been doing with yourself".
>, I just stand there emotionless looking at her.unable to think of words for a good 15 seconds.
> Her: "Soooooooo..."
>Me: "eh, I have to go see my mom. She's over there" *points to nowhere*
> I walk away as fast as I can in that direction despite it being the opposite way from where I was going..
and
>Guy tries to tell me impromptu joke
>Gets to punch line "did you see the game"
>I'm supposed to say "what game?"
>Instead I panic, lie & say yes
> There was no game, I just ruined the joke & everyone knows I'm lying.
>>25343253
HATE CRIME AGAINST ROBOTS
DELETE
EMERGENCY
>>25343175
what you think a conversation would go like
"hey qt"
"hey anon you're a complete autist and I hate you how could you really stand up there for 30 seconds saying jack shit! whatt the hell I h8 u anon"
How it would actually go
"Hey anon"
"hey qt"
"what happened with our speech"
"oh I messed up and just kinda forgot that part"
"oh haha, it happens anon"
end of that
>>25343028
>he puts a space in greentexting
>he doublespaces his greentexts
HELLO REDDITOR
I've posted this a couple of times before. It never ceases to amaze me how stupid I was in HS (and still am in college)
>freshman year
>its the day of the homecoming football game, which means we fuck around and play games all day
>Im emulating banjo kazooie on my school issued laptop
>1st hour teacher brings in mutha fuckin cookies
>puts them on a bench in front of class
>I get in line for that shit, but sit in front of class because of horrible vision so not much wait
>suddenly, girl in front of me drops her cookie on the ground
>instead of waiting for her or a few other people around her to pick it up, I sperg out
> crawl underneath girl's legs, she's wearing a skirt mind you
>grab cookie
>start to crawl out from underneah her legs, misjudge when I should stand up and brush my head on the underside of her skirt
>dont really remember her reaction, she may have smiled, but some stoner made fun of me for it
She was dumb as a sack of rocks and got pregnant on purpose senior year. In a Catholic high school nontheless
>>25342992
Hi, i didnt say hi to you because i couldnt see you.
... Then how did you know i was there?
>>25343885
>I've never actually tasted cum, this is just an old ass joke.
AHAHAHA
>>25344446
>no correcto bendejo tu es stupido
>>25344765
That's why you don't go all out on the Prom bullshit. Just fucking ask the chick goddamn. It's not like you're getting fucking married...
>>25343993
You personally are a normie mcnormerson
>Be around 12
>In Art class
>Have to hand teacher some piece of paper (forgot what it was)
>Teacher is in hallway, so go to give her the paper
>A male junior teacher swoops in at the last minute and immediately starts arguing with her about some school related business (budget or something)
>They keep arguing and ignore me, even though I am right next to them, holding this piece of paper
>I don't want to interrupt because I think it might be rude
>I'm just standing there looking nervous and awkward...
>...for over 15 minutes
>Eventually they finish the conversation and look at me like an I'm an idiot
>"Why were you standing here like that for 15 minutes?"
>"I...p-paper...for you" or some painful shit
>Walk off red-faced
The worse thing is, other kids came up and wanted to interact with one or both of them, and they either got a quick yes/no, or the kids eventually realized they should just come back later.
>>25343999
thats rough, tripmeister
>>25346907
It's common knowledge Catholic girls are whores. Lotta degeneracy at my high school, even though it was Catholic.
During my junior year, some sophomore black chick got expelled for prostitution. There were also a few pregnancy scares. This wasn't a ghetto school, there were like 20 black kids out of 500. And the majority of students in lower level classes were stoners.
>>25344765
this is some platinum-teir cringe
>>25343993
that's what normies thinks makes them weird/awkward :-)
>Don't leave house at all
>Never developed any semblance of a social life
>Never talked to the people around me
>Total loser
>Have Aspergers
>Draw my inflation fetish and show it to people
>People think I'm just a bit off but I know exactly what I'm doing and no one can say anything to me
I have sketchbooks full of things like this. I wonder how many people know about my fetish. The other day I forced my cute normie cousin to sit next to me and look at all of my drawings.
>>25346792
>Instead I panic, lie & say yes
fuck i do shit like this, i feel your pain
>>25347570
i dunno about the content (didnt read) but your drawing style is pretty cool, the characters look funny
>>25342874
contribute time
>asked qt3.14 to promnot in person
>she agrees, we talk a bit
>later spreads around the school like a fire
>people harrasing her online ETC
>hear the garbage in the next few days
>"omg you're going to prom with anon? I mean comeon its ANON!"
>this continues until a week before it
>she gives some garbage excuse for not being able to come
why can't normalfags just let me be happy for once
that was the first and last time I'll force myself to have interaction with a girl
>>25346735
just for you baybee
>>25343864
cont..
>Awkwardly place my hands on her head
>Awkwardly cop some more feels of her tits
>Awkwardly touch her back
>Still cant feel anything but fake moan a bit to make her feel slightly accomplished,other than that I didnt utter a damn sound
>She stops and says some shit about her gagging on me
>She says that shes found me hot since like freshman year
>what
>She reassures me that Im really hot
>Call her desirable or something because I felt weird not reciprocating the compliment
>She comes back up and sits on my lap with my dick still out
>Really dont want to make out with her because she just had cock in her maw
>Still do
>She says we should hang out after school and talk a lot more as to not make this thing awkward
>I should mention now that we had barely talked at all before this
>She also makes implications that this wont just be a one off
>Guy friend comes in and shines a light on us
>He closes the door and we both get dressed
>We go back out and she and her friends leave soon after
>Everyone still left goes to sleep soon after their departure
>Come monday we didnt say shit to each other and every class that I had with her was suffering and awkward as all hell
>Also the interaction was a one time thing and we didnt talk for literally the rest of high school
>Shit was awkward with all of her friends as well
>She mustve spread the word of how awkward I was because I got no more action whatsoever from any gals from my school even though I tried
>This fucked my self confidence and turned me into a neet
>This was my first and probably last sexual encounter desu senpai
TL DR
Got with a stacey and the rest of high school was suffering.
>>25343993
kill yourself
this comment is original
>>25343699
this isn't really cringe, normie humor is just shit
>9/10 Blonde girl always jokingly flirted with me in HS
>way out of my league, she must have just done it to get a reaction out of me
>she got it
![9u8GJnl[2].gif](https://i.imgur.com/FuoIO0g.gif "9u8GJnl[2].gif")
>mother is paying for me to go to college
>doesn't know that I'm not really going
>I pocket the money to build up my reselling business
>still have to go out for two days every week and can't go to any of the local stores because someone who knows my mother might see me and say something, blowing my cover
>told her classes are from 3pm to 7pm on Tuesday and Thursday
>college is an hour away by car
>leave at 2pm to go to a somewhat distant mall to eat lunch
>drive to a rural, lakeside parking lot for the rest of the afternoon and evening
>usually read on my kindle or sleep in the backseat of my car
>be me a month or so ago
>go to parking lot and decide to sleep since I'm tired
>wake up at 6pm to lights flashing through my rear window
>get up and open the door
>police are flashing their spotlight on me
>Officer: "Don't move! Get back in the car!"
>Me: "Okay..." I get climb back into my backseat
>Officer comes over and asks what I'm doing there
>I say that I was just resting
>Officer: "So you're telling me that you're just sleeping in the back of your car for no reason?"
>Me: "Yeah"
>Officer: "Are you waiting for someone?"
>Me: "Nope"
>Officer: "Are you sure? Are you on drugs?"
>Me: "I'm not on drugs"
>Officer: "Give me your license"
>Hand her my license
>She runs a check
>it comes back clear
>Officer: "So you're really telling me that you're just sleeping in your car for no reason? Are you still living at this address?"
>Me: "Yes to both"
>Officer: "W-w-what? You're the weirdest person I've met so far this week. Are you really this weird?"
>Me: "Yeah, I tend to make that impression"
>Officer: "Okay... look, this lot closes at sundown so you need to go. Most of the people who wait like this here at night are junkies and I'm still not sure what you are. Just go"
>Me: "Will do."
And then I left and drove around for a couple hours listening to music and realizing that to the average normie, I'm more suspicious than actual drug dealers.
>>25346749
I don't get it either, I would have laughed and said thanks for the warning.
>>25347980
I hate that normies flip absolute shit at non-standard behavior or speech patterns. Especially since I have a bit of the 'tism so I can never tell what the "right" way to do things is.
>>25348258
It happens more often that people think. Even if you try to mimic the normies, you end up in a kind of uncanny valley instead. It's like there are tism pheromones or something.
>>25348418
It's strange too because there's such a variety of ways that normies express themselves but spergs like me tend to find exactly the wrong way. It's like finding the needle in the haystack on the first try every time.
>>25344737
Holden go to sleep
>>25342992
hahahahaha oh fuck this had me laughing hard, anon you silly fucker. I see people all the time and I just look ahead, just don't even look at them (if you dont feel like bulshitting with small talk that is) then if they ever call you out on it or try to ask why (which they wont) you just "oh sorry didnt see you how are you"
>people tell me to play football at an afterschool program
>don't know how to play football
>ask how
>think it's a joke
>start crying
>>25343699
if it helps just know that literally no one except you remembers that happening so if you can manage to not care/forget about it, it might well have never existed or transpired
>>25345395
Fuck that shit is literally the worst
>be me
>having nice night with friends
>getting pretty late, trains stop running
>female friend offers to let me sleep on her couch at her apartment, few blocks away
>we go to walk to her apartment
>start getting nervous
>we come up to the door
>decide to blurt out
>"JUST SO YOU KNOW I'M STAYING OVER BUT I DON'T WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU I JUST WANT TO SLEEP"
>she changes her mind and tells me to find my own way home
oh man
>>25349837
I feel so sorry for you m'boy. Why couldn't you just go with the flow?
>>25347488
Yea, that same year some kid in my class got caught looking up weed related things on his computer by our teacher. She just told him that that's "something that someone in a Catholic school should be doing" and she was kind of a hardass, so that was suprising
>>25349893
I was worried she'd think I wanted to sleep with her.
>Be in Massachusetts, mid 1990's
>Go to Irish Heritage Festival with my brothers because we were around 13 and sending us there was my mom's idea
>Wear an orange shirt because unaware of the implications of doing so
>Get weird looks until an old lady explains to me that Orange is offensive because some nonsense about Catholics vs. Protestants
>Take off my shirt
>Get weird looks for going shirtless
>Try to lighten the mood by doing a Braveheart impression, the movie came out not long ago
>Told Braveheart was Scottish, not Irish, a bunch of old Irish-American ladies are super pissed at me
>Ask, "Well is Mel Gibson Irish?"
>"No. He's from Australia" (Later found out old lady was wrong, he's a Kiwi)
>Decide this isn't the place for me
>Scream "Scottland rules!"
>Run at top speed through some hedges, only to find they are sticker-bushes
>Never run through sticker bushes shirtless, by the way
>Get a huge thorn in my nipple
>See Mom with the mini-van
>"Anon! Look at your chest!"
>See thorn the size of my thumb jutting form my nipple
>Pass out
>Wake up in the car on the way to the emergency room
>Nurses use tweezers, water, and a weird tiny vacuum cleaner thing to suck all the splinters out of my nipple
>Bros never quite respect me as much after that.
Truly the worst series of events in my life. I die a little inside every time I think about it.
>>25347904
I hope she experiences violent rape at some point in her life
>>25347980
>that image
CONDUCTOR WE HAVE A PROBLEM CONDUCTOR WE HAVE A PROBLEM
CONDUCTOR WE HAVE A PROBLEM
>sign up for dating site because lonely
>jack shit for weeks
>get a message from a girl
>open it excitedly
>shes pretty qt
>"just so you know you're mildly attractive but we have nothing in common and I could never date someone like you"
>ask her what she means "someone like me"
>she tells me someone who has no control of his life who can't even go to the gym
>tell her I'm sorry I'm not what she wants
>she starts to break down messaging me about how she's going to die alone and she'll never find anyone for her
>demands me to send her a video of my body in motion so she can decide what I need to do work out
i think i got bullied
>leaving h-e-b
>open a bottle of red cream soda
>say "fuck this is good"
>normie family heard me and looking at me weird
>say "what, a man can't enjoy his soda?"
>daughter says I'm childish
>mfw
>be le me
>15
>at italian restaurant
>see qt3.14 at table diagonal to mine
>stare at her
>she notices and looks at me
>eye contact
>look away
>both look back at the same time
>this same process repeats itself for the remainder of the dinner
Fuck that shit, makes me curl my toes in cringe reeeee
>In middle school class
>Teacher taking attendance
>Calls out for Danielle
>Thinking he mistook my name for some reason, say "It's Daniel actually."
>Behind me the person he was actually calling who was named Danielle said "here."
OH GOD IT HURTS SO BAD.
>Walking back to student accommodation after shopping for food
>Spent most of the day DUDEing LMAO
>Still pretty baked
>See qt asian girl waving at me as I approach
>Don't recognise her until she gets closer
>Oh shit she's in my class
>'Hey anon didn't you recognise me haha?'
>'Oh terribly sorry about that! Lots of other asian girls around and I was wondering why I was being waved at haha'
>mfw her look of horror as I realise what i just fucking said
>>25345232
collectivist nazi bitch
>Anytime I've had to throw anything in front of anyone else
>>25345289
Wrong thread you retarded faggot.
>>25347747
maybe it's because you're a cancerous tripfag?
>>25342940
My Twisted World fucking sucks.
Try instead
Industrial Society and Its Future and The Memoirs of a Militant
>>25343626
>bringing laptop to school with porn still open
you deserve to laughed at
>walk in late to class wearing a pink shirt and sunglasses
>entire class looks at me
>teacher says i made an entrance ( sarcastically i'm assuming )
i never could get that fashion thing right..
>>25342874
>girls who bullied me would hug me sometimes if I hung around the door of the cafeteria at lunch
>I let them bully me for the hugs
>I got cheeto dust on one and she got incredibly pissed
Oh the retrospective pain... I'm sitting here cringing
>>25343253
10/10 bait not even mad
Happened in middle school.
>Teacher asks which weighs more
>A kilo of feathers or a kilo of brick
>Think I'm intelligent, so I say they both weigh the same
>Asks which I rather carry
>Say kilo of feather because it would be less rough on my skin
>Teacher says "Anon would rather carry multiple bags of feather than a small brick
>You got me
I know everyone forgot within the end of the hour, but his still digs at my soul to this day. Sometimes I'm thinking about all the cringe shit I 've done and this plus other occurrences will keep me up until 4 A.M. many days.
>>25350922
this is literally nothing
>>25350970
You have no idea how much the stupidity of myself continues to eat at my conscience daily.
>>25343852
This is why you gotta eat hidden in a toilet stall
>>25350375
Fuck Ted was based. Apart from, you know, the killing people. That's only praiseworthy if it seriously advances the cause, which he didn't.
>>25343626
Fuck I'm old. Kids who went to school with their laptops - hell, kids who went to school with their mobile phones - are among us right now, and I'm still stuck on this board.
>>25342874
>I exist
>The end
>in college
>doing an exam in lecture hall
>surrounded by people, i'm already stressed to hell
>sweating profusely
>professor comes around to collect paper
>he extends his hand so I can give him the paper
>give him a handshake
>realise halfway through that I fucked up
>mfw
>both of us are speechless
>I never went to another lecture again
>>25351125
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.
WHAT A FAG.
>go to free yoga class in neighborhood
>inherently awkward as fuck, but the small size of the class made it weirder
>instructor is hippy dippy type, "Love is all"
>makes us give each other massages
>she pairs me up with qt woman
>for the massage, you bend over at the waist and your partner gets your lower back and glute muscles
>I'm handholdless skellington, 6'0, 120 lbs
>she's massaging me
>feels good and just appreciating any female contact
>we switch
>try to focus on lower back, but not ignore glutes because that would be weird
>touch a female's butt for the first time
>give as good a massage as I can
>class lets out
>literally run home
>>25347570
This is like me and my flattening fetish
>>25351188
>glutes
I call bullshit.
Oh wait, yoga.
Did she touch your butt too?
>>25351354
Yeah, just the upper part though.
Not like I hand a hand full of ass. We were told to just use the heel of our hand.
>be 14, getting yearly doctor's check up before school starts
>always nervous at the doctors
>walked to the room in the back and sit in the chair waiting for the doctor
>start thinking about boobs and stuff by accident, penis becomes engorged, start trying to get it to go away by thinking of other things
>pediatrician walks in wearing a sundress, cleavage for miles and I can't help but stare right at them as they bounce left to right as she walks in
>starts the check-up, tells me to stand up and I do, hypnotized by her fat breasts
>im at full mast, penis pressing hard against shorts creating a tent
>Ms. Jackson looks down and see it and looks to me
>Look, I know little boys like you and how this stuff happens. Don't worry, it's 100% natural. Don't be shy and try not to be nervous. I'm going to check your heartbeat as best I can but it's currently racing right now.
>The cold hand against my back and the cold stethoscope only makes my erection stronger
>Ok, all is good here. Pants off, shirt up, and lay on the table.
>She turns to wash her hands and I quickly push my pants down and lay back on the table, penis red hot and filled with blood lays across my stomach past the belly button
>She does the normal routine. Lifts one leg and checks its range of motion, but this time her hands are on my inner thigh. She checks the other, same thing but closer. Then she checks of hernia by pushing downwards into the sides of the stomach.
>This time she isn't pushing has hard as before, it's more of a rub. She runs her hands down my side and into my groin and past into my inner thigh, and does the same for the other side
>My face is red and hot, full of embarrassment and shame and my penis begins to salivate and drool on my stomach.
>Ok, all checks out. Time for the last inspection. Stand up and cough when I say cough. OK? You can do it.
>Barely stand as my penis sways forward and lays only inches from her face. I'm about to explode, pressure is building. Ears ringing.
cont.
>do speech
>in front of whole class after teacher gives me massive pep talk about not being nervous when speaking in front of people
>just stand there like a retard with my hands shaking wanting to die while I just get brutally embarassed by this stupid whore teacher fuck you whore
>>25351508
>She isn't fazed one bit as she reaches past and cups my balls with her hand
>She looks up to me
>Ok and cough
>When she let out the word cough, she didn't close her mouth, but instead left it open and ready
>with one quick squeeze, i leaned forward in pain and let out a cough but at the same time could feel a great release and bliss
>when I looked down again I could see that I had exploded onto her face as it dribbled down to her chest
>she didn't act one bit surprised while I was horrified of what had just happened
>with one wipe of the hand she cleaned her face of the spunk and with a wipe of the other her chest as well
>Don't worry, you are a big boy now. Remember that what just happened is perfectly normal and occurs all the time with boys your age.
>as she is saying this she is pulling the foreskin back to check for phimosis
>Don't forget do this regularly as well, that way the little pee pee head can be cleaned. It's very important.
>I get a sticker and am on my way. Ms. Jackson told my parents about my little accident and ensured everything was fine, we went to Dairy Queen afterwords to celebrate another healthy check up.
It's been 13 years and I have not been in a single meaningful relationship. I masturbate to the same memory every week and cannot get hard around girls my age. All older women think I'm weird for trying to get them to pretend to my my pediatrician, some have even listened to the story and refused stating it's too weird. Every time I am aroused, I am overwhelmed with feelings and memories of her and when it hits me that it's just a memory, I become extremely sad and depressed. This is a fate worse than death. I should probably just start drinking.
just last night I screamed in front of both my parents while I was being arrested and taken to police car that one of the cops was sticking his finger up my ass, also was being hysterical and screaming god I hate myself
fucking ell I could die. I was saying so much retarded shit I would just not stop being a cringe machine please kill me my parents were both watching
>>25343699
Kind of similar story
>16 years old
>By this time I was already established as "the weird kid" but was surprisingly popular with everyone so I had friends, but was just "weird"
>In some random lesson that tries to teach you about life or some shit
>We're leaning about how to manage money in university when we eventually go there
>Sitting next to a friend for once and he forces me to do some group work
>Start thinking about things I'd have to spend money on in university
>Start thinking about dating, and that you'd probably have to spend money on women
>Say "Women" and explain why I think so, they all agree and then the time is up
>Our group is chosen first to read out what we've found, for some reason I was chosen to read out.
>I say women
>Everyone including the teacher starts laughing
>Confused to why, until it hits me that it sounded like prostitution.
>Try to explain my reasoning, but the teacher just moves on, but mentions it several times throughout the lesson
>be at annual fundraiser my AP English class did
>my junior year and I'm 17
>stay at school in rocking chairs for 24 hours and get donations from family and friends
>about 3 hours in
>Playing a game where the goal is to be the last with a finger up
>everybody says something they've never done and if you have done it you put your finger down
>get a bright idea
>"I've never kissed anyone"
>every single person puts a finger down but me
>there was almost 30 kids
>everyone kind of shuts up for a moment
>"Really never?" A girl asks who I had a crush on
>"H-ha ha yeah nope. Never."
>couple seconds of silence then everyone moves on
About 2 months later I ended up kissing one of the girls (not the crush) that was there though and having a small fling with so its all good.
Ended up becoming friends about a year after that occurred and lost my virginity to this most recent September.
Fuck the rest of 'em I say.
>>25352117
Good on you anon. Good on you.
>>25351699
holy... shit...
almost too perfect to be real.
>>25346749
Probably too much information yeah, that would weird me out
>>25344424
I think I'm low down for cheating but I genuinely do fall in love with these women like at first sight, I'm a sucker for beautiful women and just imagine crafting out a life with any of them I meet lol
>>25351699
It got in her mouth??
>be me
>...
>yeah
>>25351537
ohh fuck
>>25352645
Gracias amigo.
Probably be a while before I get with anyone else though. I act (or think I act) fairly normally and friendly when people talk to me but I never reach out to anyone, so I basically am just reactionary. Also I was officially diagnosed with autism a year ago which explained a lot.
The main reason I even ever got with that chick was because we were the romantic leads in my drama departments spring play and had to kiss, though we practiced beforehand (because she knew I never had kissed before) which led to the fling thereafter.
I've had sexual relations (2nd and 3rd base) with two other women, neither of which I initiated.
Being in community college now without any real friends doesn't strike me as much of a hope in the way of things in the future but who gives a shit.
I'm not going to be a wizard and for now that's good enough for me
>>25351699
oh my god i want this to be real. this is how i imagine that doctor to look
>>25351742
lol were the cops actually fingering your ass? why did you get arrested?
