Which matches your mating habits, /r9k/?
Well they all successfully mate, so none of them.
I just want to be a blue lizard
>>25102470
Blue with a dash of yellow
>>25102470
>tfw high levels of testosterone
>tfw still robot
why.jpg
Haha holy shit yellow is such a piece of shit. Blue is best, red is Chad, yellow is a failure.
>>25102470
I'm the lizard who missed the mating season.
>>25102470
i want to be blue but im a yellow throated lizard.
I dont have mating habits.
>>25102609
Never thought I would have so much in common with a snake.
>>25102470
I mean... the yellow one does look the cutest....
yellow throated lizard is literally the beta orbiter except beta orbiter doesn't mate or does he?
Who else here /yellow-throated/?
>>25102470
>being a normie lizard
I don't know what the fuck I am.
>be fat fuck
>alcoholic
>feeling tfw no gf really hard
>jerking it three times a day at minimum
>decide to get fit
>lose almost 100lbs
>fit, athletic
>mild erectile dysfunction vanished
>morning wood strong enough to lift weights on its own
>with my ED also vanished my sex drive
>look at titty pictures here and get a boner but feel no drive to do anything about it
>vidya seems more interesting than ever
>not feeling tfw no gf anymore
>happy being alone
Wasn't this shit supposed to be the other way around?
>>25102746
You finally made it, anon. now you just have to try men and you'll be a /fit/ meme
>>25102780
I don't even desire boipucci tbqh, the need for intimacy is just gone.
>>25102470
Blue is literally the tradition of marriage.
hahahah, did you notice how the yellow one is the closest to manlet? hah
just kill me already
>>25102696
10/10
top laff
>>25102867
tfw sneaker males are responsible for the manlet gene
>they all get laid
I don't even go outside
>>25102470
the off-color r9k women hate jokes at workplace lizard
>>25102609
Story of my life. Good luck snake bro.
Sauce on that documentary?
Can you imagine being a blue lizard? Loving your one and only lizard qt and then Chad just comes in, beats the crap out of you, takes your land, and rapes the love of your life while you lay there helpless?
>>25103049
Sounds like real life to be honest
Red, but more scummy. I mostly just string along girls that I don't like, but never get anywhere with them and just leave there lives because I'mgay[spoiler/] for that I'm definitely Red. Love pillaging poopers.
>>2510257
Guys who act like girls get a ton of pussy.
Yellow is a drama / English / nurse / whatever metrosexual.
>>25102470
I've been different lizards at different points of my life. As my circumstances have changed, so too have my mating habits.
At the moment I'm trying to be blue after a long, exhausting run of being orange.
>>25103049
>>25103074
probly something like this
>>25102470
TFW blue
>>25103158
Dude that's fucking harsh. Why didn't he just kick it in the fucking face? Fucking c.uck.
>>25103158
>being kucked by an inferior species
This is some next level shit right here.
>>25103198
and you had your last gf taken by orange
>>25102470
>tfw grey-throated lizard
>tfw no territory
>tfw no gf
>tfw no breeding strategy
>>25102802
youve made it. lessening your animalistic desires should be the main goal of everyone.
>>25103253
Same, anon.
At least we attract flies...
>>25103262
It's sort of depressing though. Currently my only goals in life are to play vidya and get drunk. Before I even aspired to make something of myself because I wanted women. Now I just wish to exist, inebriated.
>>25102504
this...
i hate my life
>>25102470
Where is the lizard that never mates?
>>25103253
>tfw grey-throated lizard who poasts on forum for grey-throated lizards who can't get lizard gfs and generally fail at being lizards
Hey, who else here grey-throated lizards?
>>25102470
Have been red for the past few years but I'm beginning to notice that it's retarded and I'm planning switching to be the blue.
>>25102470
>tfw yellow throated
It's actually horrible, orange Chad raped in my sleep and now I can't breed because my reproductive system is has been blasted to death.
>>25103339
Anyone not grey-throated needs to get the fuck off my board
>>25102470
if yellow means i can be a qt femboy then yellow
>>25102564
I know this feel.
Life is just fucking constant torture between masturbation sessions.
>extremely competitive
>only thing I'm good at is videogames
>self-hating because I'm so pathetic IRL
>constantly horny and crave physical affection
>23 y/o virgin
At least I'm a diamond level LoL player and I used to be good at SC. That counts for something right?
>>25102470
>tfw blue
>tfw never even tried to pursue casual sex at 23
>tfw all women are orange-owned whores
>tfw no qt blue-gf
>>25104791
Maybe you should try mating with a yellow throat to ease your loneliness,
>>25102470
I haven't mated yet, but blue is most appealing. Though if i was a lizard I'd be the yellow one if I'm gonna be realistic here.
>>25102470
Blue as fuck :')
I feel like that's how humans are naturally tho
>>25102515
yeah i think a good majority of us are failed blues desu
>mfw fucking wagechad's wife while he's out chasing the dollar
Beard throated lizard here.
