Oh fuck DEFCON 1How do I not fuck this up?
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Oh fuck DEFCON 1
How do I not fuck this up?
If you made it this far and still need help you are fucking hopeless
>>24914722
Go to her house and bring food/have her come to yours and order in food, eat while watching a movie when done eating start cuddling. I hope you can figure out the natural progression from their.
>>24914788
>>24914786
So what do I text her?
Can this move to fucking?
>>24914722
netflix and chill nugha. I thinks that's what faggots do these days.
this her? ding dong
>>24914801
Say that you're in the mood and you'll be over to her house right away.
>>24914903
>It's 2015
>come on!
Memes are original too.
>>24914801
Yes it can but don't listen to anyone in this thread that isn't me.
Literally just respond with something like
'Nobody's around for me to kiss' (but make a joke about that part so you don't seem lame or something) 'so let's help each other out here?'
If you've made it this far really some low effort responses that get you with her in person is all it'll take. Just don't do anything too retarted.
>>24914903
>it's 2015
It still amazes me every time someone uses the current year as an excuse for their shitty actions.
>>24914835
but i dont have netflix
can one of you robobros lend me an account?
>>24914941
fuck so much pressure, i havent responded to her in 20 minutes. should i take her out for food? i only have frozen foods and pbj here
Wow OP that was a very brave thing to ask.
>>24914963
Why not? I mean, come on, it's 2015. TWO THOUSAND AND FIFTEEN!
WHAT DO I REPLY WITH
>>24914989
I know man. Don't worry about the 20 minutes. I don't reply for hours and just say I was busy. Usually I'm actually just busy shitposting.
Don't take her for dinner. Just bring her to your place or go to hers. She's giving signals like she wants to fuck.
I guess I should have asked first what you want from her. Do you want to just fuck her or be with her.
>>24915123
I think I fucked up
>>24915164
So anyway how's your sex life?
>>24915164
Don't use those fucking faces op
>>24915213
she uses them?
>>24915210
2risky4me desu
>>24915164
Pizza, Chinese, doesn't matter. Just ask if she would want to come over/you go over there and have dinner.
Uh oh she's already eating. Whut do?
>>24915261
By sausage she means your cock
>>24915261
Just change the subject at this point. Ask what she is up to.
>>24915261
>>24915272
ditto
tell her she should come over so we can get something to "eat"
It's hopeless for me.
>>24915359
man I'm a neckbeard permavirgin and even I could have handled that better
you suck
What the fuck op, put
Do you want to come to mine? We can order in some food and watch a movie?
>>24915359
>The sausage is making sounds.
>>24915359
Stop with the emoticons.
>>24915413
>>24915359
Original as fuck, fuck off
>>24914722
I can smell the weeb loser through my screen.
if you actually manage to stick your penis anywhere around this girl I hope she's dies soon after, your kind shouldn't be allowed to procreate.
>>24915359
ouch, my soul
>>24915462
>>24915447
>>24915440
>>24915426
>>24915396
did i really do anything wrong?
>>24915359
>the sausage is making sounds
where the fuck did u get that from?
>:F
That literally means drooling. she was drooling for that sausage
>>24914722
Stop using those faggy ass emoticons and you may have a chance OP
>>24915478
Do you want to come to mine? We can order in some food and watch a movie?
Fucking put this op
>>24915490
>>24915490
She said the sausage sounds pretty great.
>>24915478
It's salvageable...maybe. Get her talking about something she's interested in.
>>24915478
In the end what you say doesn't matter, the only thing that matter is if you are chad.
>>24915545
Send this next. Seems like a smooth progression.
>>24915545
Op, put something like
Do you want to come over mine and watch a movie? Could have a drink and get some food?
>>24915545
my ribs have broken from cringing.
you're a god damn cancerous faggot, anon.
>>24915164
Don't send anything else. That was OK. Maybe stop using those faces.
Just wait for her to answer. Worst case scenario you get shot down. You never did tell me what you wanted from this girl.
she says shes about to eat at her house, i cant just ask her to come over to eat with me if she has food that is almost ready?
>>24915545
Ok ask if you can join her man! It's me from earlier I was eatin'
>>24915359
jesus fucking christ op, almost everyone here could have handled that better than youand almost everyone here are virgin neckbeards
>>24915593
fucking deliver, OP. maybe this'll salvage what little chance you have.
>>24915628
If she wants to fug, then she will come over either way, or just say
Come over mine? We can watch a movie and have a drink?
>>24915578
>>>24915359
>>the sausage is making sounds
>kek
what was the point in deleting that post, oh originality
Op is texting like a little girl.
/thread
>>24915359
>The sasuage is making sounds?
mama mia
>>24914722
What a bunch of plebs. Literally you are being the epitome of a beta normie pleb right now... I mean - honestly posting NORMIE the POST. the only redeeming factor is that you're drecking it up so badly that I just pooped out a half digested dried cow fetus that was stuck in my rectum for 3 days...
>>24915359
How is this woman still talking to you?
>>24915545
"Korra and chill?"
>>24915359
>That ignoring of your "2bad we can't kiss" message
>This sausage shit
Holy fuck
i got this a few weeks ago and I FUCKING BLEW IT
>>24915359
>Not replying with "You should eat this sausage ;^)"
Kill urself
Update. How hopeless am I?
>>24914722
>LMAO guys, I am such a nerd
>And like OMG, I am about to finally hit it of with this girl Sta- I mean Shannon
LEAVE YOU FUCKING NORMIE SCUM. Go to /soc/ or reddit or somewhere else, that is not here.
>>24915942
>by herself
>"We're"
hmmm
>>24915942
stop using smilies faggot and ask her if she's free tomorrow
whatever her response is tell her you're going out with friends tonight and have to go. ignore her text until tomorrow evening
>>24915942
dude stop talking please like what is going through your head. you're not being witty or clever or even dorky. you're just being strange as fuck
>>24915972
The roastie is texting her chad friend while Ken fucks her ass.
>>24915942
The sheer amount of autism you have is astounding.
>>24915942
At this point it just seems like the conversation is stagnating.
>>24915942
dude, how is this trivial chitchat supposed to woo her? Not that I'm a fucking pro or anything but at least make an attempt to flirt. You started with the kiss thing, albeit awkward as fuck, but now you've completely dropped that and have resorted to autistically interrogating her about her meal. Who gives a rat's ass what she's eating man?
Nigga seriously stop with the emoticons, it's not 2011 anymore you fucking faggot
Use emojis
>>24915942
This has to be fake.
You can't be this lame and hopeless
Maybe I'm just not as much of a robot as I thought I was, but goddamn you can't do anything smooth, op.
This has to be fake
>>24915942
Stop asking her pointless moronic questions. I know that you're trying to appear to be fun and friendly and quirky, but you're just looking like an autistic fuck.
>>24915942
>we're
2bad opie
>>24915932
why did you take a picture of your phone?
c ucking confirmed?
This right here is the difference between guys that fuck girls frequently and autists. You can't just meander around topics and try to seem like a casual friend.
You have to slyly persist with the intent of you wanting to do things with her, and not come off as desperate. If this sounds complex or confusing to you, you missed the boat of social interaction.
It's really basic communication. That's why "chads" exist. Chads i.e. functioning humans
>>24916141
Now change the topic off food faggit
>>24916141
Just tell her that you want to netflix and chill. Seriously, there's no way that this could get worse, maybe she'll give you a pity-fuck.
>>24915942
Holy fuck, you're autism has ascended to cosmic proportions bro. Even I could have sealed the deal on this one and the only people I text are drug dealers.
>You blew it
>>24916141
This conversation is the most pointless boring shit ever. Why would you even want to be with someone where this is the general banter
>>24916141
Invite yourself over.
Literally just say something like
"That sounds good, I'll be over shortly"
>>24916141
Just give it up. Your immature mannerism is just pathetic and your exensive use of O_O and D; shows how old you really are.
Please leave and come back when you're 21. I say 21 because you'll still have the attitude of a twat at 18.
>>24916248
I am 21
She hasn't texted me back, is she chowing down on chad cock?
>>24916271
Why haven't you shot yourself already
This just has to be a troll thread. I refuse to believe he didn't jump on that sausage comment. He had the ball in his court and threw it away.
>>24916271
That's sad. 21 years old and you're using smilies like some 16 year old did back in 2011.
Just please stop talking to her. You're a fucking retard.
Rich coming from people of /r9k/ but half of the peoples' replies are better than what you're fucking putting.
why should i?
bloxbloxlbox
>>24916141
that doesn't imply c'ucking you mong. stop using those dumb smileys. try to subtly steer the conversation towards sex
>>24916305
This OP literally use any reply here other than you own and you'll get laid you fucking retard.
>>24916271
you should be chowing down on lead you autist
>>24916141
"Want me to come over and we can share?"
If she says yes, just tell her you'll be there soon and leave immediately.
>>24916395
what if she says no?
EVERYONE PLEASE STOP HELPING THIS CHILDISH 21 YEAR OLD
IGNORE THE THREAD FROM NOW ON PLEASE
>>24916416
That's almost certain already, anon.
>>24916423
no I want to see him fuck it all up
>>24916416
then move on.
christ are you really this autistic?
>>24916416
It doesn't matter, none of this matters. You fucked up such an easy signal
>>24916416
Just sorta sheepishly tell her you'll keep watching your show by yourself or whatever. She seems like the kind of girl that appreciates "cute" guys.
But I can almost guarantee she'll say yes
>>24916450
He fucked it up as soon as he was born.
>>24916416
What if she says yes?
ITT:
21 yo edgy asshole creates a bait thread by texting his girlfriend and pretending he's just a beta robot.
>>24916141
You are.... utterly clueless. I'm sorry but you are going to kuck yourself if you don't act fast
oh god OP this thread ruined my day. you are such a fucking faggot, i feel so much fucking better about myself now and im still raging.
>>24916488
nobody would do that
>No more screenshots
rip op
>>24916536
she still hasnt texted back :(
think chad has almost came yet?
>>24916467
>But I can almost guarantee she'll say yes
What makes you say this?
>>24915359
>THE SAUSAGE IS MAKING SOUNDS?
>O_O
>>>O_O
>this entire thread
How, OP? You had people telling you what to do the whole time. This can't be real.
>>24916518
No of course.
And nobody would act like he is a girl on the internet and talk about period to get more than 200 replies on an image board.
No, of course that'd be crasy
>>24916553
U BLEW IT FAGGOT
>>24916557
Jesus wept, you even post on here like a spastic.
>>24916576
How do you rationalize it in your mind that somebody would get their girlfriend to go along with that?
Basically a pls respond post.
All you had to do was not use faces like
>:D
>^^
>O-O
and you literally would be fucking right now.
BUT INSTEAD YOU CHOOSE LET THE LOCAL REFUGEES FUCK HER INSTEAD HANS.
>>24916615
HOW MANY TIMES WERE YOU TOLD TO CHANGE THE SUBJECT OFF FOOD
>>24916575
i didnt like their suggestions
>>24916633
why she uses them too?
>>24916638
i cant count that high
>>24916612
Now read the conversation as if she was already his gf and they are simply far away at this very moment.
>????
> profit
>>24916646
>why she uses them too?
Because she's a girl. Jesus christ dude, I really hope you're underage.
>>24916615
OH MY FUCKING GOD. HOW CAN YOU BE THIS DENSE?
>>24916615
Please show me the post where you were told to post that. It's not even that you look autistic, you're just totally and utterly fucking boring. Why are you still talking about goddamn food?
>The sausage is making sound O_O?
What did he mean by this?
>>24916646
SHE'S A DUMB BITCH AND YOU'RE AN AUTIST
>>24916615
YOU FUCKING IDIOT
MAKE PROGRESS. TRY AND GET TOGETHER. SHE GAVE YOU AN OPENING WITH THE KORRA THING BUT YA BLEW IT.
STOP WITH THE FUCKING EMOTICONS
AND STOP SENDING THOSE LONG ASS TEXTS NIGGA. ECONOMY OF WORDS BITCH, IT'S SEXY
>>24916646
I'm sure you'll love being keked, faggot
>>24916615
GET TO SEXUAL TEXTS FFS
OP you got one chance to redeem yourself here - send a dick pic. Yes im serious. At this point you go all the way or take home nothing.
>>24916615
Just give up on ever getting laid OP.
>>24916659
He said earlier that he's 21. Twenty fucking one and using those smileys.
>>24916666
She said sausage "sounds" good. Also nice quads.
>>24916646
>i didnt like their suggestions
Then why did you ask for suggestions?
>why she uses them too?
Shes a girl, it isnt weird if she does it. You just look like a massive autist.
>>24916615
Food. Food. Stop with the food. For the love of god stop talking about food. She doesn't care. We don't care. No one cares.
>>24916727
>ask for suggestions
>bad suggestions get posted
>autist on r9k acts like im obligated to use them
>You just look like a massive autist.
if she responds positively to them, then why shouldnt i?
>>24916689
This.
Your hopeless. I'm cringing so hard
>>24916771
>if she responds positively to them, then why shouldnt i?
She has stopped responding dipshit
>>24916691
you need to browse /tv/ more familia, didn't even catch my meme
Update. She texted back.
>>24916615
Damn she still hasn't responded?
Send her more.
>>24916771
>bad suggestions get posted
there were 0 (ZERO) suggestions here worse than what you actually sent.
>if she responds positively to them, then why shouldnt i?
she was humoring you, looks like she gave up because you were being an autist
>>24916771
Literally ANYTHING in this thread would be better than the shit you've sent though
You're gonna end up being a kuk. At least with a dick pic she woulda known you're man enough to send one. She probably thinks your gay and wants to introduce you to her gay chad friend now.
>>24916815
>yep
OP your a faggot.
>>24916815
what is your endgame here OP? do you actually want to have sex with the girl or talk about food, korra, and studying?
>>24916815
Down to one word answers. OP you fucked up real bad. Seriously. Wow. I thought I was bad with women. You've just given me hope.
>>24916771
She doesn't respond positively to the. She thinks you're weird and creepy for using them, but she's too nice to tell you. Every time you send one of those stupid little faces, she looses an ounce of respect for you.
2/10 made me reply
>>24916815
Are you trying to scam her in some way? That's the only earthly reason I could imagine for you asking such inane questions repeatedly.
>>24916815
Duse you're gonna have to ask her out or leave her alone for the night. Stop dragging it out
>>24916815
>yep
end it OP
>>24916815
OP, send "How about I come over and deep dick your asshole?"
You need this right now or you're fucked forever.
OP here
all of your negative responses to me are making me sad
did i really fuck up this much?
>>24916880
Yep O_o
>>24916880
Just advance in some fucking way
>>24916880
Just fuck off please.
You're boring me now. You get advice on getting your dick sucked but you talk to her like a beta orbiter.
>>24916815
JUST ASK HER iF YOU CAN COME AND STUdY WITH HER
DONT FUCKING BRING YOUR BOOKS YOU AUTISTIC NIGGER JUST FUCK
11/10 B8 M8
>>24916880
Self evaluation is an important tool. Do you think it has gone well?
It's worse than I thought.
OP is creating a false conversation or is using images he saved.
THIS IS BAIT
>>24916880
>did i really fuck up this much?
YES
E
S
OP sounds like a real bore. I wouldn't have sex with him if I were her.
>>24916880
No it's not your fault you're just fucking retarded.
>>24916880
She obviously doesn't hate you. Ask if she's free to watch a movie tomorrow. A movie is perfect because its minimal social chances for you to spill your spaghetti all over her
>>24916880
Yes you did. She actually seemed interested. It looked like she wanted you to invite yourself over but you just missed it even though we were screaming it at you!
>>24915164
try hard and those faces are gay as fuck. make moves in real life, not over text. what do u think you're gonna accomplish over text, sexually? the goal is just to get them to meet up, get them drinking, then go to a private place to fuck
>>24916880
No O_o
What are you eating though? :F
>>24916107
the lock button doesnt work and i have to press that and the home button to screenshot
Someone please screencap this and post it in the next cringe thread
>>24916951
Dubs decides what I respond with.
Blox
>>24916993
dick pic
>>24915359
>The sausage is making sounds
you're a real class act
>>24916993
ASK TO GO AND STUDY WITH HER
>>24916951
i already said an enchilada
>>24917011
was the sausage sound thing really that bad? I thought it was kind of clever
>>24916993
"How about you study this instead"
then send a dick pic
>>24916993
Fuck the dubs, tell her you're going to come over for study and chill
if dubs: a photograph of your erect penis
>>24916993
Can I come over and study with you?
>>24916993
Come on man, open goal here, ask to go study with her.
>>24916993
What fucking dubs????????????
This has to be fake
You are fucking retard JUST READ WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING 0_0
>>24916993
want to have sex without a condom
>>24916815
One word response equals leave me the fuck alone, you are done OP, may as well an hero at this point tbqph family.
>>24917044
The dubs don't lie op you autist
Don't even know why anyone is even bothering trying to give this cunt advice.
He'll only reply with some beta reply with o_O
>>24917040
This OP. This is your last chance at redemption.
>>24917055
>>24917044
Double dubs have spoken OP, ask to study with her.
>>24916993
I'm just going to cut to the chase. I think you're cute.
>>24917044
>winwer
>winwer
>winwer
>winwer
>>24917044
Winner winner r9k dinner
>>24917037
It was not clever. You are allegedly 21, if you switch those digits and that was your age it still would not be clever.
>>24916993
Let's continue the beta train. Say "sounds cool lol, what then?"
Suck my nigger nigger lazy digger digg dig iggy
>>24917044
This will get you laid, OP. DO IT!
>>24916815
>yep
You fucked up it's over.
>>24917088
More dubs, the time has come
>>24916815
>My enchiladas are really hot.
Beautiful.
Also, she's gone into one-word-response mode. You're out OP.
>>24917044
>>24917055
>>24917088
Go for it OP!
>Original comments and that
>>24916993
fuck studying, I'm coming over with some mustard for that sausage
>>24916993
"lol sounds fun, what are you gonna do after that O_O"
so I've read every comment, and dude... you're fucked. JUST ASK TO BONE YOU FUCKING PLEB ASS BETA BITCH.
i can't go to sleep now. i must see this through.
if you get laid send pics
Bring us good news OP
>o_O
>0_0
>; )
Why do you exist?
gabe dont be a fucking pussy
>all these people BTFOing OP for not escalating the conversation
Sheit man, I wouldn't be able to do it either.
You're not alone OP. Except for the autism sausage sound comment...even I'm not that bad.
Thank you OP for making me feel really good at talking to women
Should I tell her I love her?
>>24917125
> op will surely deliver
> Im fucking original
>>24917198
same here f4m
>>24917245
Come on, there's no way this isn't fake
>>24916815
>Yep
It's over
Send the dick pic
It's the only way
>>24917232
You probably wouldn't post the conversation on /r9k/ and ask for suggestions though either.
>>24917245
NO ONE EVEN BOTHER REPLYING NOW
SERIOUSLY
HE DOESN'T EVEN REPLY WITH THE DUBS SOMEONE GOT
HIDE THE THREAD
DON'T REPLY TO THIS CUNT
>>24917245
WAT
WAT
WAT
God fucking damn it OP.
you love her ? oh fuck you. I felt like this we bait and I took it. you played my emotions OP.
>>24917245
Yes, you should absolutely tell her that you love her.
>>24917245
NOOOOOOOOOO
WHAT ARE YOU DOING
FUCK THIS IM OUT
>>24917245
WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING, JUST ASK HER IF YOU CAN STUDY TOGETHER YOU GODDAMN MONGOLOID
>>24917245
10/10, an actually very good troll. You genuinely got me raging.
>>24917245
oh god my sides
FUCK OFF ROBOT YOU CUNT
>Sausage and fries
>Watching Korra
>Ignoring her education
>Le Tea : )
Sounds like basic bitch.
>>24917245
THE DUBS KNEW WHAT THEY WERE DOING
WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU FUCKER
they literally told you what to send her, yet you chose to send your own sausage cringe shit.
the good news is she also sounds extremely autistic, so maybe you have a shot there.
godspeed OP, go breed some downies
>>24917245
In complete honestly telling her that you're in love with her (not that you love her, that you're IN LOVE WITH HER) would pull you out of this hole. But it's a one shot thing, so don't waste it.
>>24917245
So which one will it be? Is it going to end in tree fiddy? Is it going to end in doing the dinosaur? Just spill it now, nobody believes you anymore anyway.
>>24917245
>"Hey guys! If you roll dubs I'll reply with that post, lol, I'm so lulzy!
>Post some beta shit instead like a faggot
Yeah, say goodbye to any help. You just killed your thread.
>>24917245
absolutely you should
>>24917245
>OP didn't deliver
Fucking fag
>>24917245
I thought i wouldn't fall for these kind of baits anymore, and here I am. Fuck you OP.
>>24917232
>tfw talking to girls on tinder and completely unable to escalate the conversation
My entire history of talking to women has been trying to come across as non-threatening so I don't get seen as creepy, so it's hard trying to do the opposite and actually try to be sexual.
>>24917245
shit man, you were doing so good. lack of inspiration?
anyway, 8/10 got me to rage hard at some point
>>24917245
YOU FUCKING NIGGER JUST SAY YOU'RE COMING OVER
STOP FUCKING VAITING ME
>>24917328
>>24917356
>>24917280
Well now that you told him to do it we can be sure he'll say anything but that.
>>24917387
Or he'll do it in the most beta way possible.
>>24917336
Here's an image to use next time you need to post something to that effect.
>think to myself "There's no way this can be real. I know, I'll check the pictures. He probably used a text faker so the battery life will be the same in every picture."
>battery life is progressively going down throughout the thread
NO. I REFUSE TO BELIEVE SOMEONE IS THIS STUPID.
>>24917369
> tfw I was the first to say it was bait.
> I found something to do in my life
you sure are one dumb nigger.
>>24917432
I can't believe how hard I was baited. It's kinda nice, like regaining your innocence. Thankyou OP.
>>24917431
Maybe he is texting himself? Like a real autistic faggot he is.
>>24917417
Needs tree fiddy added to it, unless nobody says that anymore. I haven't posted actively in a really long time.
>>24917245
Faggot. Queer. Homo. Cocksucker!
![A532739FE54948DAB4BC7099008E25E1E424DF03[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/mSRQmJz.jpg "A532739FE54948DAB4BC7099008E25E1E424DF03[1]")
ill just go fuck myself
>>24917245
what the fuck is wrong with you, seriously
>>24917245
what the fuck are you doing my nig
>>24916993
Say this
"Why aren't we studying together?"
Don't ask her to study, tell her you're studying together
I'm too scared to go further. And I'm too scared to back out.
I've spoken to this women everyday of my life for almost two years. I've written her silly poems, I've hand stitched her stuffed animals from her favorite anime. I have made her food. I have done her homework. I have driven her to her school 30 miles away (when she lives 7 miles from her). I've even done her laundry.
I know I have increased her quality of life but I've been too scared to make a move. One time I asked her if I could hold her hand. And after a few minutes she let go because her feet were hurting.
>>24917245
Why. Why are you still going?
>>24917551
>how's the tea
>>24917551
What a fucking beta, OP, sorry man.
>>24917551
I-Is this not bait? Oh OP :(
>>24917551
stop lyin man sm damn h bait like this should be illegal
>>24917551
TELL HER HOW YOU FEEL, YOU RETARD.
>>24917551
Timestamp of your hand next to your phone with the conversation or GTFO GTFO GTFO GTFO GTFO GTFO GTFO GTFO GTFO GTFO GTFO GTFO GTFO GTFO GTFO GTFO GTFO GTFO GTFO
>>24917551
What the fuck. Seriously, what the hell am I reading. I don't get this fucking shitty bait.
I'm almost willing to ask someone to fuck me on facebook to make up for OP's mistakes.
>>24917551
You are a fucking autistic little beta. Enjoy getting c ucked you faggit
>>24917551
STOP ASKING FUCKIJNG INANE QUESTIONS HOLY SHIT MAN FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKFN
>>24917551
How does she live 7 miles from herself? Is she that fat?
This thread is literally the textbook case on how not to text a girl
>>24917596
Do this op, or else it is bait
>>24917551
"look, it's probably obvious that I've been nervous about saying this but I love you. I always have and I always will. You don't have to be with me if you don't want to but if you were it would make me the happiest boy in the world. Scared of sending this right now D:"
>>24917551
Didn't you just mention kissing her earlier in the conversation? Man up and tell her you want to fuck her.
>>24917551
Fuck you, you queer-ass faggot.
>>24917630
You are a massive faggot.
>>24917596
Do it OP. We are waiting
OP just throw your phone away.
Ask her if you can come over to help her study
>>24917551
>'ve written her silly poems, I've hand stitched her stuffed animals from her favorite anime. I have made her food. I have done her homework. I have driven her to her school 30 miles away (when she lives 7 miles from her). I've even done her laundry.
You betakeks fucking amaze. I can never imagine myself doing all that for a women. Especially since Chad doesn't have to do any of that and women jump on his dick.
>>24917596
This. Do it now or kill yourself.
>>24915026
made me chuckle i must admit
>>24917596
>>24917596
>>24917596
>>24917596
>>24917596
T H I S
H
I
S
>tfw not original comment
>>24917679
I'm trying to help the OP find love though, you guys are just trying to get him to indulge in carnal pleasures with no regard for her or his emotional attachment to one-another.
>>24917596
HOW CAN I TAKE A PICTURE OF MY PHONE IF I DONT HAVE ANOTHER CAMERA?
>>24917551
>doing all this free stuff for her
congrats you have graduated to omega
>>24917551
This is fucking depressing. Wants to talk about food? Wants to be a chef or some shit?
>>24917737
You are the OP you fucking piece of shit
>>24917746
Just a time stamp then, deliver
>>24914722
NETFLIX AND CHILL F A M
NETFLIX AND CHILL
How hard is that to understand?
>>24917746
THEN STOP THIS THREAD RIGHT NOW YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE
>>24917746
TIMESTAMP IN MESSAGE BOX
JUST MAKE SURE NOT TO SEND IT STUPID FUCK
>>24914722
>O_o
Beta as fuck
She no longer views you as a sexual being
Even if this is fake, I fucking love this thread. Thanks for making it OP, I really needed it.
>>24917245
Dude I wish you no fucking luch, retard. If this isn't a bait she must be like 200kg and going for anything that moves.
>>24914722
please dont use O_o its cringy as fuck seeing guys use this.
even for girls this is kind of autistic but its more acceptable.
Damn OP that convo was painful to read
Please continue
>>24916880
This question made me more mad than anything you've posted before
>>24914722
send nudes op
>>24915359
You motherfucker I was going to stop smoking weed today and you made me read this. I realized existence is meaningless and I'm gonna go get fucked to forget it all.
>>24917549
Time stamp for those non believers.
>>24915164
I could sense the desperation on that one
>>24917317
She isnt real. OP has two phones and is taking us for a ruse cruise
>>24918011
Yeah, great move. Women dig coffee induced illness bro.
>>24918011
>Still talking about food.
>>24915359
>the sausage is making sounds
>mfw
>>24918040
im really praying this is true.
>>24915359
EPIK THREAD GUISE xD
I'LL GO POST IT TO R/4CHAN
MAKE SURE TO GI THERE AND GIVE ME LOTS OF UPBOATS xD
xD
>>24918011
god i really hope you do just have two phones or are taking the time to shop all this retarded shit op i cant believe this
why are u literally just saying the same shit over and over again omfg
>>24918051
It's been like 2 hours too. How long have they been eating?
>>24918011
STOP TALKING ABOUT INANE SHIT
TALK ABOUT YOU AND HER
THE ENTIRE FUCKING REASON YOURE TEXTING HER IN THE FIRST PLACE IS TO HOPEFULLY GO FURTHER IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP
GET ON WITH IT JESUS FUCK
>>24918011
I hope this is real. Your autism levels would make Chris Chan cringe.
>>24918011
FUCKING REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
YOU BLEW IT OP ITS TOO LATE, YOUR FOOD TALKS DERAILED CONVERSATION
>>24918011
how's it feel to orbit some chick for 2 years while she will throw herself at the first sight of chad?
stop giving her so much fucking attention, take a hold of yourself, why do you care about every little detail of her life?
Take a step back and cut her off for a while, she is taking you for granted
>>24918011
You're killing me man. Who ever told you that asking the most inane, mind numbing questions is a good idea? For the love of everything that is righteous stop doing it.
>>24917551
>One time I asked her if I could hold her hand. And after a few minutes she let go because her feet were hurting.
Holy fuck my sides. If this isn't proof of bait I don't know what is.
>>24918051
I can't believe it. I'm literally staggered. What is he thinking?
>rip op.
>was betafag
>>24917085
in the history of mankind, this never worked
>>24918110
>2 years
he blew it a long time ago desu senpai
Holy shit OP have you been talking to this girl like this for the entire time you've known her? Props to her for entertaining this cringy flailing about
>>24918119
>how's it feel to orbit some chick for 2 years while she will throw herself at the first sight of chad?
Come on man, don't bring up old feels like that. I don't want to be reminded of how much more easily other people can get the things they want than I can.
Not even that guy
How am I a beta for making someone's life better?
in a way i feel fulfiled but in terms of a romantic relationship also unfulfilled. i mean if i wouldve done this to a dude i would be gay, so at least im straight right?
OP is a God
I'm screencapping this and posting it to r/4chan asap
>>24918323
ok now its time to abandon ship for sure
good times everybody
sad to know its 100% bait
btw not sure if it matters but shes ftm transexual
>>24918323
Homie you obviously aren't getting pussy so the verdict is still out on your faggotry
>>24918323
>i mean if i wouldve done this to a dude i would be gay
Or you would have a reliable friend for life who could give you decent advice on shit. Women are terrible as friends.
>>24914722
you go to /adv/ and ask there
>>24918011
How the fuck is this a timestamp? Nobody was doubting you have the ability to put arbitrary text in the text message conversation.
Show the screen of your phone, with the text conversation visible and a thumbs up next to the phone. You can take this picture in a mirror using the selfie-cam on your phone.
The point is proving that you have an actual phone making this conversation and not some screenshot generating web tool.
I'm going to give it to you straight OP, I've been berating you in this thread but I just think you don't know. You say you have been talking to her consistantly for 2 years? As you have probable realised from the responses in this thread you are not very good at conversation. Terrible in fact. You are dull and you cringey in the way you type. Despite this, she has been responding to you and doing it relatively enthusiastically. Combine this with all the kissing nonsense at the start of thread and it is abundantly clear she likes you, otherwise she would have stopped texting back to you long ago. My advice? Just tell her how you feel, you can have a conversation about your feelings, and bam you have a gf.
>>24915359
>The sausage is making sounds
This better become a fucking meme
>>24918534
it could be the next corn
>>24918534
I know for sure I'll be using it, I can't speak for anyone else though.
>>24918534
>>24918547
>>24918589
It could probably replace 'expand dong'.
>o_O
>O_O
>O_O
Fuck off normies
>>24918652
Why are you so upset 0_0
Emoticons are coming back man :P
>>24918011
>talking about food this much
She refers to you as one "of the girls" of hers
OP YOU FUCK JUST TELL HER YOU LOVE HER. DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT
FUCKING DO IT
>>24918513
Not OP but I can't tell if you're being serious or not
>>24918011
OP, I think that you might be retarded and/or autistic. I don't mean that in an insulting way, I just want you to get help.
>>24918730
guy is super deep in the friendzone and you want him to confess over text?
OP needs to get his shit together and meet her somewhere for god's sake, there's no way she will take him seriously
Sorry was away from thread for awhile
>>24917551
>no one will ever knit you a stuffed animal
>no one will ever make you food
>no one will ever write you silly poems
i bet this girl is a 10/10 stacey. OP you should fucking kill yourself you shallow cuCk
>>24918890
OP you missed your chance at the sausage part. You will always be "that good guy" she can always talk too.
>>24918890
>Moves from food to makeup
>Is literally unable to have any sort of meaningful conversation with her.
>Is too beta to make a move.
>Is about to reply with yet another emoticon.
Seriously OP, get help.
>>24918890
Stop with the fucking faces.
Stop asking her about trivial shit.
Find some fucking balls and ask to fuck
>>24918890
Why are you still posting these? I mean, is there an objective to this current conversation? I'm honestly asking.
>>24918890
Say "Hey can we talk?" and confess you shitstain.
>>24918938
This. If you aren't going to the point this shitty conversation could go on forever. I don't know what's the point in posting this if you aren't going to confess to her or some shit.
>>24918890
Ask her for pictures of her wearing the make-up. Then call her beautiful. ;^)
>>24914722
>using emojis
I hope you fuck it up anon you cunt
>>24918890
And this is how you kek your own sperm mladies and mgentleman
For those of you who would'nt believe me
>>24919168
wrong thread pal
>>24919168
But, you said you didn't have a phone/method of taking a picture of your phone? Are you admitting it's all a ruse?
>>24919194
LMAO im in this thread atm too
>>24919168
>East Coast cunt
You should really just call her pretty.
>>24919168
>Op is running both threads
Knew it
>>24919168
I will again restate my retardism theory about OP's behavior.
>>24919194
>4919194
Nice post no. breh.
And the fact we have two different threads of communicative autism fills me with despair for our generation.
>>24919168
THIS IS WHY I HAVE TRUST ISSUES DESU
>>24919211
I just remembered about tec-decs from this image.
thank you anon.
>>24919208
Did this thread inspire you to do one where the OP actually listened? If so I hope you learnt a valuable lesson.
>>24919207
He could literally use the front camera and a mirror.
Fuck, I can't handle this board anymore.
"Sorry, I'm kinda drunk right now lol"
She won't allow you over, but at least you can save yourself from this mess this way
Seems like op doesn't intend to do anything to her, basically this is just a friend of his and he is baiting our (you)s.
>>24919168
>Kathryn
>>24914722
>Shannon
Nice try.
>>24917417
>who was on the phone
How can you fuck up that badly?
>>24919287
Tard OP is running two threads, he just fucked up the other by saying that it was all a ruse.
what is it with all the fucking faces op
and why do you ask her a fucking question every single fucking message
i think u gave me cancer
>O.o
>O_o
Is it the mid-00's on a fucking message board? What the fuck?
here is the best advice you will ever get
texting girls is pointless, absolutely pointless beyond organizing a time and place to meet up
do not waste your time courting a girl via text, it will never work
>>24919627
this. and cut out the fucking smileys
>>24919168
WARNING THIS IS FAKE OP IS TRYING TO RUSE US THIS WHOLE CONVO IS FAKE
>>24914941
NO NO NO NO NO
protochad here. dont do this fucking christ
Just say "ill come over with some food" or something direct. dont do anything autistic liek this pls
My little anon can't be this autistic
OP here, what do?
>>24920053
You really need to read models by Mark manson. Free to download. You think being the nice guy is a way for you to express your desire for her and you'll win her over. That's never going to happen. Man the fuck up and take a gamble and tell her how you feel without any fear. At least this way you can start to move on with the rest of your life.
>>24919627
I literally lost my virginity because of chatting for a while with a girl and then meeting up and eventually fucking.
>>24915359
Goodness gracious man
Bump. Long janksbfbjdks
>>24920818
It's over OP. Kill yourself.
>>24920818
You got this OP! Things are going fine.
>>24920818
whys she mad
>>24920818
Stop asking so many faggy questions, you sound desperate and bored and she can obviously tell that.
You should have just manned up and listened to some advice in this thread
Have fun sleeping alone tonight AGAIN
>>24920818
Ahahah look at him apologising now she thinks he's a woman
>>24920818
Holy shit your beta
>>24915359
>The sausage is making sounds
You may be the biggest autist on this board anon, bravo
>>24915942
>the french kind
>>24914722
you text like a woman
Jesus Christ just tell her you like her. You can't fuck it up anymore than you've already have.
>>24915545
fucking kill yourself OP, even I coudl do better than this
OP is a silly sausage
>>24916615
I was pissed before, but this changed my mind. Good b8 OP, 9/10.
>>24917245
OP this is the best b8 posted on 4chan in the last 3 and a half months, ever since that guy posted pictures of his ass crack near president obama
>>24914722
>O_o
Dun goofd.
>>24918907
Mystery, literally NO ONE givse a fuck, until you post a picture of your face with timestamp. Until then, fuck off.
>>24921442
>since that guy posted pictures of his ass crack near president obama
sauce plz?
>>24920818
Wait back the fuck up why is she mad?
>>24921527
It didn't happen, I was just b8ing you
:^)
>>24914722
OMFG NIGGER
JUST ASK HER OUT ON A DATE ALREADY
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>24921572
kek,
well done anon, I wanted to see that. no-homo
>>24921637
you HAVE seen the guy posing next to all the ass-cracks at the MTG tournament, right? That shit was fucking hilarious.
>>24915359
It is indeed.
>Lets watch a movie. You bring the drinks, I bring the sausage
Was this really so hard OP? WOULD THIS REALLY BE SO HARD FOR YOU TO TYPE?
>>24915359
I'm sorry but there is just no way that this is real
>>24921682
Yeah, but I thought that was a shit reddit meme.
Not OP, but this actually happened to me a few weeks ago. We kept talking a bit afterwards, but I since told her I wouldn't be able to catch up to her with Gilmore Girls due mid November-December vidya releases. Dat Bloodborne and Xenoblade....
Anyway, I haven't talked to her in like 2 weeks and pretty much given up anyway
>>24921765
It is, but I found it funny. Occasionally reddit produces non-shit. Plus the guy got banned from MTG for like 2 years which was fucking hilarious. And then vowed to go right back to taking pictures of ass cracks.
>>24915359
Holy fuck OP I didn't know this was a YLYL thread kek
OP
OP this is important information.
Youtube RSD Julien and julienfreetour and watch every single video. EVERY SINGLE ONE.
OP listen to me. If this isn't bait, you need fucking help. You wont get out of your hole on your own. But if you get some help, you might be able to make it.
Youtube RSD Julien. Thats all you need.
If you want, I'm going to teach you myself on skype. I am going to help you OP.
OP here, i feel sad
>>24920818
OP YOU FUCKED IT WITH DUMB COMMENTS ASKING HER ABOUT HOW HER TEA IS AND YOU NOT PICKING UP THE SAUSAGE HINTS NOW SHE THINKS YOUR GAY
>>24921776
oh my FUCKING GOD THERE ARE PEOPLE IN MY BOARD LITERALLY HAVING SEX THROWN AT THEM AND THEY DO NOTHING AND I DONT EVEN GET SCRAPS WHAT THE FUCKINGERIIEREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>24921776
its not fair robots kill me
>>24914903
I thought she was green texting for a second
I wanna punch OP in the fucking teeth
What the fuck is even happening in this thread?
>>24914722
If you were to tell her you're about to come over to her house after that FIRST pic you posted you would have been fine.
Instead you keep texting her emoticons which no one likes and dumb questions.
So here's a question for you OP: You should be ashamed of yourself.
This guy should be the next corn-poster. Holy fuck never before have I audibly reacted to this kind of shit, but Jesus Christ this is just too good
>>24914722
You're asking R9K for what? Ask /b/ or/soc/ and go with what they say. A bunch of social fuckups won't be able to get you laid.
>>24915359
>the sausage is making sounds? O_O
Christ, my fucking sides
I think we have us a new meme
>>24916615
JUST FUCKING ASK HER IF SHE CAN MAKE ENOUGH FOR 2 AND IF YOU CAN GO ROUND AND FUCKING FUCK HER YOU FUCKING AUTIST JESUS FUCK
I can't believe I allowed myself to be baited this hard.
>>24924339
OP here she went to sleep
>>24925001
Where are the rest of the screenshots, why was she mad?
>>24915359
If she wasn't referring to the sausage making sounds as it cooks, then what was she referring to? Nothing OP said included sounds and if she was saying it "sounds great" that they can't kiss then it was over already
Please help. I have autism.
>>24926141
"A sausage sounds great right now."
It does not refer to the sound a sausage makes.
It is saying that "a sausage" sounds like a great thing.
>>24921534
By women standards, she said "please fuck me" at least twice and he said "no, let's talk about french fries"
You'd be mad too if you got cukked by your meal
>>24926190
I see. Her use of "atm" confused me since that generally denotes something occurring in the present tense.
Thanks m8.
>>24916901
Kek. Relevant!
>>24915359
>the sausage is making sounds
Why the fuck did you write that?
>>24914801
if you have to ask if netflix and chill can move to fucking you're probably gonna be too inexperienced and just dry her up at the making out part
>>24918323
People as beta as you shouldn't be allowed to reproduce. Go get your T levels checked, faggot.
![1428369229225[1].gif](https://i.imgur.com/R6yU6yp.gif "1428369229225[1]")
