Oh fuck DEFCON 1
How do I not fuck this up?
If you made it this far and still need help you are fucking hopeless
>>24914722
Go to her house and bring food/have her come to yours and order in food, eat while watching a movie when done eating start cuddling. I hope you can figure out the natural progression from their.
>>24914788
>>24914786
So what do I text her?
Can this move to fucking?
>>24914722
netflix and chill nugha. I thinks that's what faggots do these days.
this her? ding dong
>>24914801
Say that you're in the mood and you'll be over to her house right away.
>>24914903
>It's 2015
>come on!
Memes are original too.
>>24914801
Yes it can but don't listen to anyone in this thread that isn't me.
Literally just respond with something like
'Nobody's around for me to kiss' (but make a joke about that part so you don't seem lame or something) 'so let's help each other out here?'
If you've made it this far really some low effort responses that get you with her in person is all it'll take. Just don't do anything too retarted.
>>24914903
>it's 2015
It still amazes me every time someone uses the current year as an excuse for their shitty actions.
>>24914835
but i dont have netflix
can one of you robobros lend me an account?
>>24914941
fuck so much pressure, i havent responded to her in 20 minutes. should i take her out for food? i only have frozen foods and pbj here
Wow OP that was a very brave thing to ask.
>>24914963
Why not? I mean, come on, it's 2015. TWO THOUSAND AND FIFTEEN!
WHAT DO I REPLY WITH
>>24914989
I know man. Don't worry about the 20 minutes. I don't reply for hours and just say I was busy. Usually I'm actually just busy shitposting.
Don't take her for dinner. Just bring her to your place or go to hers. She's giving signals like she wants to fuck.
I guess I should have asked first what you want from her. Do you want to just fuck her or be with her.
>>24915123
I think I fucked up
>>24915164
So anyway how's your sex life?
>>24915164
Don't use those fucking faces op
>>24915213
she uses them?
>>24915210
2risky4me desu
>>24915164
Pizza, Chinese, doesn't matter. Just ask if she would want to come over/you go over there and have dinner.
Uh oh she's already eating. Whut do?
>>24915261
By sausage she means your cock
>>24915261
Just change the subject at this point. Ask what she is up to.
>>24915261
>>24915272
ditto
tell her she should come over so we can get something to "eat"
It's hopeless for me.
>>24915359
man I'm a neckbeard permavirgin and even I could have handled that better
you suck
What the fuck op, put
Do you want to come to mine? We can order in some food and watch a movie?
>>24915359
>The sausage is making sounds.
>>24915359
Stop with the emoticons.
>>24915413
>>24915359
Original as fuck, fuck off
>>24914722
I can smell the weeb loser through my screen.
if you actually manage to stick your penis anywhere around this girl I hope she's dies soon after, your kind shouldn't be allowed to procreate.
>>24915359
ouch, my soul
>>24915462
>>24915447
>>24915440
>>24915426
>>24915396
did i really do anything wrong?
>>24915359
>the sausage is making sounds
where the fuck did u get that from?
>:F
That literally means drooling. she was drooling for that sausage
>>24914722
Stop using those faggy ass emoticons and you may have a chance OP
>>24915478
Do you want to come to mine? We can order in some food and watch a movie?
Fucking put this op
>>24915490
>>24915490
She said the sausage sounds pretty great.
>>24915478
It's salvageable...maybe. Get her talking about something she's interested in.
>>24915478
In the end what you say doesn't matter, the only thing that matter is if you are chad.
>>24915545
Send this next. Seems like a smooth progression.
>>24915545
Op, put something like
Do you want to come over mine and watch a movie? Could have a drink and get some food?
>>24915545
my ribs have broken from cringing.
you're a god damn cancerous faggot, anon.
>>24915164
Don't send anything else. That was OK. Maybe stop using those faces.
Just wait for her to answer. Worst case scenario you get shot down. You never did tell me what you wanted from this girl.
she says shes about to eat at her house, i cant just ask her to come over to eat with me if she has food that is almost ready?
>>24915545
Ok ask if you can join her man! It's me from earlier I was eatin'
>>24915359
jesus fucking christ op, almost everyone here could have handled that better than youand almost everyone here are virgin neckbeards
>>24915593
fucking deliver, OP. maybe this'll salvage what little chance you have.
>>24915628
If she wants to fug, then she will come over either way, or just say
Come over mine? We can watch a movie and have a drink?
>>24915578
>>>24915359
>>the sausage is making sounds
>kek
what was the point in deleting that post, oh originality
Op is texting like a little girl.
/thread
>>24915359
>The sasuage is making sounds?
mama mia
>>24914722
What a bunch of plebs. Literally you are being the epitome of a beta normie pleb right now... I mean - honestly posting NORMIE the POST. the only redeeming factor is that you're drecking it up so badly that I just pooped out a half digested dried cow fetus that was stuck in my rectum for 3 days...
>>24915359
How is this woman still talking to you?
>>24915545
"Korra and chill?"
>>24915359
>That ignoring of your "2bad we can't kiss" message
>This sausage shit
Holy fuck
i got this a few weeks ago and I FUCKING BLEW IT
>>24915359
>Not replying with "You should eat this sausage ;^)"
Kill urself
Update. How hopeless am I?
>>24914722
>LMAO guys, I am such a nerd
>And like OMG, I am about to finally hit it of with this girl Sta- I mean Shannon
LEAVE YOU FUCKING NORMIE SCUM. Go to /soc/ or reddit or somewhere else, that is not here.
>>24915942
>by herself
>"We're"
hmmm
>>24915942
stop using smilies faggot and ask her if she's free tomorrow
whatever her response is tell her you're going out with friends tonight and have to go. ignore her text until tomorrow evening
>>24915942
dude stop talking please like what is going through your head. you're not being witty or clever or even dorky. you're just being strange as fuck
>>24915972
The roastie is texting her chad friend while Ken fucks her ass.
>>24915942
The sheer amount of autism you have is astounding.
>>24915942
At this point it just seems like the conversation is stagnating.
>>24915942
dude, how is this trivial chitchat supposed to woo her? Not that I'm a fucking pro or anything but at least make an attempt to flirt. You started with the kiss thing, albeit awkward as fuck, but now you've completely dropped that and have resorted to autistically interrogating her about her meal. Who gives a rat's ass what she's eating man?
Nigga seriously stop with the emoticons, it's not 2011 anymore you fucking faggot
Use emojis
>>24915942
This has to be fake.
You can't be this lame and hopeless
Maybe I'm just not as much of a robot as I thought I was, but goddamn you can't do anything smooth, op.
This has to be fake
>>24915942
Stop asking her pointless moronic questions. I know that you're trying to appear to be fun and friendly and quirky, but you're just looking like an autistic fuck.
>>24915942
>we're
2bad opie
>>24915932
why did you take a picture of your phone?
c ucking confirmed?
This right here is the difference between guys that fuck girls frequently and autists. You can't just meander around topics and try to seem like a casual friend.
You have to slyly persist with the intent of you wanting to do things with her, and not come off as desperate. If this sounds complex or confusing to you, you missed the boat of social interaction.
It's really basic communication. That's why "chads" exist. Chads i.e. functioning humans
>>24916141
Now change the topic off food faggit
>>24916141
Just tell her that you want to netflix and chill. Seriously, there's no way that this could get worse, maybe she'll give you a pity-fuck.
>>24915942
Holy fuck, you're autism has ascended to cosmic proportions bro. Even I could have sealed the deal on this one and the only people I text are drug dealers.
>You blew it
>>24916141
This conversation is the most pointless boring shit ever. Why would you even want to be with someone where this is the general banter
>>24916141
Invite yourself over.
Literally just say something like
"That sounds good, I'll be over shortly"
>>24916141
Just give it up. Your immature mannerism is just pathetic and your exensive use of O_O and D; shows how old you really are.
Please leave and come back when you're 21. I say 21 because you'll still have the attitude of a twat at 18.
>>24916248
I am 21
She hasn't texted me back, is she chowing down on chad cock?
>>24916271
Why haven't you shot yourself already
This just has to be a troll thread. I refuse to believe he didn't jump on that sausage comment. He had the ball in his court and threw it away.
>>24916271
That's sad. 21 years old and you're using smilies like some 16 year old did back in 2011.
Just please stop talking to her. You're a fucking retard.
Rich coming from people of /r9k/ but half of the peoples' replies are better than what you're fucking putting.
why should i?
bloxbloxlbox
>>24916141
that doesn't imply c'ucking you mong. stop using those dumb smileys. try to subtly steer the conversation towards sex
>>24916305
This OP literally use any reply here other than you own and you'll get laid you fucking retard.
>>24916271
you should be chowing down on lead you autist
>>24916141
"Want me to come over and we can share?"
If she says yes, just tell her you'll be there soon and leave immediately.
>>24916395
what if she says no?
EVERYONE PLEASE STOP HELPING THIS CHILDISH 21 YEAR OLD
IGNORE THE THREAD FROM NOW ON PLEASE
>>24916416
That's almost certain already, anon.
>>24916423
no I want to see him fuck it all up
>>24916416
then move on.
christ are you really this autistic?
>>24916416
It doesn't matter, none of this matters. You fucked up such an easy signal
>>24916416
Just sorta sheepishly tell her you'll keep watching your show by yourself or whatever. She seems like the kind of girl that appreciates "cute" guys.
But I can almost guarantee she'll say yes
>>24916450
He fucked it up as soon as he was born.
>>24916416
What if she says yes?
ITT:
21 yo edgy asshole creates a bait thread by texting his girlfriend and pretending he's just a beta robot.
>>24916141
You are.... utterly clueless. I'm sorry but you are going to kuck yourself if you don't act fast
oh god OP this thread ruined my day. you are such a fucking faggot, i feel so much fucking better about myself now and im still raging.
>>24916488
nobody would do that
>No more screenshots
rip op
>>24916536
she still hasnt texted back :(
think chad has almost came yet?
>>24916467
>But I can almost guarantee she'll say yes
What makes you say this?
>>24915359
>THE SAUSAGE IS MAKING SOUNDS?
>O_O
>>>O_O
>this entire thread
How, OP? You had people telling you what to do the whole time. This can't be real.
>>24916518
No of course.
And nobody would act like he is a girl on the internet and talk about period to get more than 200 replies on an image board.
No, of course that'd be crasy
>>24916553
U BLEW IT FAGGOT
>>24916557
Jesus wept, you even post on here like a spastic.
>>24916576
How do you rationalize it in your mind that somebody would get their girlfriend to go along with that?
Basically a pls respond post.
All you had to do was not use faces like
>:D
>^^
>O-O
and you literally would be fucking right now.
BUT INSTEAD YOU CHOOSE LET THE LOCAL REFUGEES FUCK HER INSTEAD HANS.
>>24916615
HOW MANY TIMES WERE YOU TOLD TO CHANGE THE SUBJECT OFF FOOD
>>24916575
i didnt like their suggestions
>>24916633
why she uses them too?
>>24916638
i cant count that high
>>24916612
Now read the conversation as if she was already his gf and they are simply far away at this very moment.
>????
> profit
>>24916646
>why she uses them too?
Because she's a girl. Jesus christ dude, I really hope you're underage.
>>24916615
OH MY FUCKING GOD. HOW CAN YOU BE THIS DENSE?
>>24916615
Please show me the post where you were told to post that. It's not even that you look autistic, you're just totally and utterly fucking boring. Why are you still talking about goddamn food?
>The sausage is making sound O_O?
What did he mean by this?
>>24916646
SHE'S A DUMB BITCH AND YOU'RE AN AUTIST
>>24916615
YOU FUCKING IDIOT
MAKE PROGRESS. TRY AND GET TOGETHER. SHE GAVE YOU AN OPENING WITH THE KORRA THING BUT YA BLEW IT.
STOP WITH THE FUCKING EMOTICONS
AND STOP SENDING THOSE LONG ASS TEXTS NIGGA. ECONOMY OF WORDS BITCH, IT'S SEXY
>>24916646
I'm sure you'll love being keked, faggot
>>24916615
GET TO SEXUAL TEXTS FFS
OP you got one chance to redeem yourself here - send a dick pic. Yes im serious. At this point you go all the way or take home nothing.
>>24916615
Just give up on ever getting laid OP.
>>24916659
He said earlier that he's 21. Twenty fucking one and using those smileys.
>>24916666
She said sausage "sounds" good. Also nice quads.
>>24916646
>i didnt like their suggestions
Then why did you ask for suggestions?
>why she uses them too?
Shes a girl, it isnt weird if she does it. You just look like a massive autist.
>>24916615
Food. Food. Stop with the food. For the love of god stop talking about food. She doesn't care. We don't care. No one cares.
>>24916727
>ask for suggestions
>bad suggestions get posted
>autist on r9k acts like im obligated to use them
>You just look like a massive autist.
if she responds positively to them, then why shouldnt i?
>>24916689
This.
Your hopeless. I'm cringing so hard
>>24916771
>if she responds positively to them, then why shouldnt i?
She has stopped responding dipshit
>>24916691
you need to browse /tv/ more familia, didn't even catch my meme
Update. She texted back.
>>24916615
Damn she still hasn't responded?
Send her more.
>>24916771
>bad suggestions get posted
there were 0 (ZERO) suggestions here worse than what you actually sent.
>if she responds positively to them, then why shouldnt i?
she was humoring you, looks like she gave up because you were being an autist
>>24916771
Literally ANYTHING in this thread would be better than the shit you've sent though
You're gonna end up being a kuk. At least with a dick pic she woulda known you're man enough to send one. She probably thinks your gay and wants to introduce you to her gay chad friend now.
>>24916815
>yep
OP your a faggot.
>>24916815
what is your endgame here OP? do you actually want to have sex with the girl or talk about food, korra, and studying?
>>24916815
Down to one word answers. OP you fucked up real bad. Seriously. Wow. I thought I was bad with women. You've just given me hope.
>>24916771
She doesn't respond positively to the. She thinks you're weird and creepy for using them, but she's too nice to tell you. Every time you send one of those stupid little faces, she looses an ounce of respect for you.
2/10 made me reply
>>24916815
Are you trying to scam her in some way? That's the only earthly reason I could imagine for you asking such inane questions repeatedly.
>>24916815
Duse you're gonna have to ask her out or leave her alone for the night. Stop dragging it out
>>24916815
>yep
end it OP
>>24916815
OP, send "How about I come over and deep dick your asshole?"
You need this right now or you're fucked forever.
OP here
all of your negative responses to me are making me sad
did i really fuck up this much?
>>24916880
Yep O_o
>>24916880
Just advance in some fucking way
>>24916880
Just fuck off please.
You're boring me now. You get advice on getting your dick sucked but you talk to her like a beta orbiter.
>>24916815
JUST ASK HER iF YOU CAN COME AND STUdY WITH HER
DONT FUCKING BRING YOUR BOOKS YOU AUTISTIC NIGGER JUST FUCK
11/10 B8 M8
>>24916880
Self evaluation is an important tool. Do you think it has gone well?
It's worse than I thought.
OP is creating a false conversation or is using images he saved.
THIS IS BAIT
>>24916880
>did i really fuck up this much?
YES
E
S
OP sounds like a real bore. I wouldn't have sex with him if I were her.
>>24916880
No it's not your fault you're just fucking retarded.
>>24916880
She obviously doesn't hate you. Ask if she's free to watch a movie tomorrow. A movie is perfect because its minimal social chances for you to spill your spaghetti all over her
>>24916880
Yes you did. She actually seemed interested. It looked like she wanted you to invite yourself over but you just missed it even though we were screaming it at you!
>>24915164
try hard and those faces are gay as fuck. make moves in real life, not over text. what do u think you're gonna accomplish over text, sexually? the goal is just to get them to meet up, get them drinking, then go to a private place to fuck
>>24916880
No O_o
What are you eating though? :F
>>24916107
the lock button doesnt work and i have to press that and the home button to screenshot
Someone please screencap this and post it in the next cringe thread
>>24916951
Dubs decides what I respond with.
Blox
>>24916993
dick pic
>>24915359
>The sausage is making sounds
you're a real class act
>>24916993
ASK TO GO AND STUDY WITH HER
>>24916951
i already said an enchilada
>>24917011
was the sausage sound thing really that bad? I thought it was kind of clever
>>24916993
"How about you study this instead"
then send a dick pic
>>24916993
Fuck the dubs, tell her you're going to come over for study and chill
if dubs: a photograph of your erect penis
>>24916993
Can I come over and study with you?
>>24916993
Come on man, open goal here, ask to go study with her.
>>24916993
What fucking dubs????????????
This has to be fake
You are fucking retard JUST READ WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING 0_0
>>24916993
want to have sex without a condom
>>24916815
One word response equals leave me the fuck alone, you are done OP, may as well an hero at this point tbqph family.
>>24917044
The dubs don't lie op you autist
Don't even know why anyone is even bothering trying to give this cunt advice.
He'll only reply with some beta reply with o_O
>>24917040
This OP. This is your last chance at redemption.
>>24917055
>>24917044
Double dubs have spoken OP, ask to study with her.
>>24916993
I'm just going to cut to the chase. I think you're cute.
>>24917044
>winwer
>winwer
>winwer
>winwer
>>24917044
Winner winner r9k dinner
>>24917037
It was not clever. You are allegedly 21, if you switch those digits and that was your age it still would not be clever.
>>24916993
Let's continue the beta train. Say "sounds cool lol, what then?"
Suck my nigger nigger lazy digger digg dig iggy
>>24917044
This will get you laid, OP. DO IT!
>>24916815
>yep
You fucked up it's over.
>>24917088
More dubs, the time has come
>>24916815
>My enchiladas are really hot.
Beautiful.
Also, she's gone into one-word-response mode. You're out OP.
>>24917044
>>24917055
>>24917088
Go for it OP!
>Original comments and that
>>24916993
fuck studying, I'm coming over with some mustard for that sausage
>>24916993
"lol sounds fun, what are you gonna do after that O_O"
so I've read every comment, and dude... you're fucked. JUST ASK TO BONE YOU FUCKING PLEB ASS BETA BITCH.
i can't go to sleep now. i must see this through.
if you get laid send pics
Bring us good news OP
>o_O
>0_0
>; )
Why do you exist?
gabe dont be a fucking pussy
>all these people BTFOing OP for not escalating the conversation
Sheit man, I wouldn't be able to do it either.
You're not alone OP. Except for the autism sausage sound comment...even I'm not that bad.
Thank you OP for making me feel really good at talking to women
Should I tell her I love her?
>>24917125
> op will surely deliver
> Im fucking original
>>24917198
same here f4m
>>24917245
Come on, there's no way this isn't fake
>>24916815
>Yep
It's over
Send the dick pic
It's the only way
>>24917232
You probably wouldn't post the conversation on /r9k/ and ask for suggestions though either.
>>24917245
NO ONE EVEN BOTHER REPLYING NOW
SERIOUSLY
HE DOESN'T EVEN REPLY WITH THE DUBS SOMEONE GOT
HIDE THE THREAD
DON'T REPLY TO THIS CUNT
>>24917245
WAT
WAT
WAT
God fucking damn it OP.
you love her ? oh fuck you. I felt like this we bait and I took it. you played my emotions OP.
>>24917245
Yes, you should absolutely tell her that you love her.
>>24917245
NOOOOOOOOOO
WHAT ARE YOU DOING
FUCK THIS IM OUT
>>24917245
WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING, JUST ASK HER IF YOU CAN STUDY TOGETHER YOU GODDAMN MONGOLOID
>>24917245
10/10, an actually very good troll. You genuinely got me raging.
>>24917245
oh god my sides
FUCK OFF ROBOT YOU CUNT
>Sausage and fries
>Watching Korra
>Ignoring her education
>Le Tea : )
Sounds like basic bitch.
>>24917245
THE DUBS KNEW WHAT THEY WERE DOING
WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU FUCKER
they literally told you what to send her, yet you chose to send your own sausage cringe shit.
the good news is she also sounds extremely autistic, so maybe you have a shot there.
godspeed OP, go breed some downies
>>24917245
In complete honestly telling her that you're in love with her (not that you love her, that you're IN LOVE WITH HER) would pull you out of this hole. But it's a one shot thing, so don't waste it.
>>24917245
So which one will it be? Is it going to end in tree fiddy? Is it going to end in doing the dinosaur? Just spill it now, nobody believes you anymore anyway.
>>24917245
>"Hey guys! If you roll dubs I'll reply with that post, lol, I'm so lulzy!
>Post some beta shit instead like a faggot
Yeah, say goodbye to any help. You just killed your thread.
>>24917245
absolutely you should
>>24917245
>OP didn't deliver
Fucking fag
>>24917245
I thought i wouldn't fall for these kind of baits anymore, and here I am. Fuck you OP.
>>24917232
>tfw talking to girls on tinder and completely unable to escalate the conversation
My entire history of talking to women has been trying to come across as non-threatening so I don't get seen as creepy, so it's hard trying to do the opposite and actually try to be sexual.
>>24917245
shit man, you were doing so good. lack of inspiration?
anyway, 8/10 got me to rage hard at some point
>>24917245
YOU FUCKING NIGGER JUST SAY YOU'RE COMING OVER
STOP FUCKING VAITING ME
>>24917328
>>24917356
>>24917280
Well now that you told him to do it we can be sure he'll say anything but that.
>>24917387
Or he'll do it in the most beta way possible.
>>24917336
Here's an image to use next time you need to post something to that effect.
>think to myself "There's no way this can be real. I know, I'll check the pictures. He probably used a text faker so the battery life will be the same in every picture."
>battery life is progressively going down throughout the thread
NO. I REFUSE TO BELIEVE SOMEONE IS THIS STUPID.
>>24917369
> tfw I was the first to say it was bait.
> I found something to do in my life
you sure are one dumb nigger.
>>24917432
I can't believe how hard I was baited. It's kinda nice, like regaining your innocence. Thankyou OP.
>>24917431
Maybe he is texting himself? Like a real autistic faggot he is.
>>24917417
Needs tree fiddy added to it, unless nobody says that anymore. I haven't posted actively in a really long time.
>>24917245
Faggot. Queer. Homo. Cocksucker!
![A532739FE54948DAB4BC7099008E25E1E424DF03[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/mSRQmJz.jpg "A532739FE54948DAB4BC7099008E25E1E424DF03[1].jpg")
ill just go fuck myself
>>24917245
what the fuck is wrong with you, seriously
>>24917245
what the fuck are you doing my nig
>>24916993
Say this
"Why aren't we studying together?"
Don't ask her to study, tell her you're studying together
I'm too scared to go further. And I'm too scared to back out.
I've spoken to this women everyday of my life for almost two years. I've written her silly poems, I've hand stitched her stuffed animals from her favorite anime. I have made her food. I have done her homework. I have driven her to her school 30 miles away (when she lives 7 miles from her). I've even done her laundry.
I know I have increased her quality of life but I've been too scared to make a move. One time I asked her if I could hold her hand. And after a few minutes she let go because her feet were hurting.
>>24917245
Why. Why are you still going?
>>24917551
>how's the tea
>>24917551
What a fucking beta, OP, sorry man.
>>24917551
I-Is this not bait? Oh OP :(
>>24917551
stop lyin man sm damn h bait like this should be illegal
>>24917551
TELL HER HOW YOU FEEL, YOU RETARD.
>>24917551
Timestamp of your hand next to your phone with the conversation or GTFO GTFO GTFO GTFO GTFO GTFO GTFO GTFO GTFO GTFO GTFO GTFO GTFO GTFO GTFO GTFO GTFO GTFO GTFO
>>24917551
What the fuck. Seriously, what the hell am I reading. I don't get this fucking shitty bait.
I'm almost willing to ask someone to fuck me on facebook to make up for OP's mistakes.
>>24917551
You are a fucking autistic little beta. Enjoy getting c ucked you faggit
>>24917551
STOP ASKING FUCKIJNG INANE QUESTIONS HOLY SHIT MAN FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKFN
>>24917551
How does she live 7 miles from herself? Is she that fat?
This thread is literally the textbook case on how not to text a girl
>>24917596
Do this op, or else it is bait
>>24917551
"look, it's probably obvious that I've been nervous about saying this but I love you. I always have and I always will. You don't have to be with me if you don't want to but if you were it would make me the happiest boy in the world. Scared of sending this right now D:"
>>24917551
Didn't you just mention kissing her earlier in the conversation? Man up and tell her you want to fuck her.
>>24917551
Fuck you, you queer-ass faggot.
>>24917630
You are a massive faggot.
>>24917596
Do it OP. We are waiting
