Alright /r9k/, take a moment to have a few deep breaths because what I'm about to say is big.
As you may have heard, Hiroyuki Nishimura is the new owner of 4chan, who bought it from Christopher Poole (also known as moot), which was formally announced on September 21 of this year. However, Moot made Nishimura take a solemn oath to protect the integrity of the website, and now after much deliberation has tasked me with figuring out who should be on this website and who should not be. What I have decided to do is similar to when NWO will eventually hole themselves up in underground shelters and use WMDs to destroy most of humanity's population so that civilization can start over without undesirable elements. When the transfer of the ownership of 4chan was complete, Nishimura had no idea what he was getting into, or what problems awaited him. He had a team of specialists do some analysis for him, and the results are now back. The situation is grave indeed. These are only a few statistics to give you a general sense of how things are here.
Recent polls indicate that:
-Reddit crossover rates have increased by 438%, with most of them coming over here in droves like Syrian refugees with terrible senses of humor. Some accounts say that numbers
-27% of the 4chan community is overtly homosexual, with rates increasing by the hour, as more and more community members pass the disease to each other.
-93% of homosexuals are communists, with 83% of those desiring to give reparations to the black community, and are in favor of imposing government sanctioned Breeding Weeks during the summers (as the most fertile season for the virile negro male). 66% of all communists are homosexuals.
-37% of all users are underage, and as a result of their use of this site have failed out of high school, with only futures as society's lowest workers, such as janitors and Breeding Week coordinators, to look forward to. The site was not reported to have affected any users that are of age, however. More study on this is needed.
-68% of 4chan's users are minorities. 32% are of African descent.
-12% of posters are women, with 38% of users being beta males transferring approximately USD 933,000 to them annually. This trend is looking to keep increasing with no signs of stopping.
Though 4chan has attracted society's best and brightest, these are few and far between the degeneracy and scum that come here.
In this thread you will post your spiciest, your freshest, and your most spectacular memes to prove that you belong here. If you fail in your test, or if you ignore this thread you WILL be banned from 4chan forever within a week with no hope of return, and your computer will be infect with spyware so that it can never be used again. Nishimura has hired a crack team of Japanese computer hackers who have obtained data on all of you to make sure that you are never able to return. If you should attempt to dodge your ban we have a worldwide network of hitmen that will be used. Some of you will undoubtedly think that this is a joke, which is understandable. Nishmura personally instructed me to give you all a warning via the hitmen so that you know we're serious. If I had my way you wouldn't get your warning. You would merely be killed outright. Be thankful to Nishimura and contact him via email thanking him for his mercy.
Through his career our new founder has established links to all major world governments. If the governments are outright being controlled by him, then they are under heavily influence, and WILL look the other way upon the killings.
If you have any questions I will be happy to answer them in this thread, but results in the coming week will be tallied and evaluated. By the fourth day you can expect to see MASSIVE numbers of people banned, resulting initially in post qualities 683% above the contemporary 4chan average. By the 7th day the process will be complete, with the undesirables will have been wiped out. Some specialists say that post quality will reach heights of 9443% above the contemporary 4chan average, meaning that only white genius supermen will be left to rebuild our world with the purest and most distilled memes imaginable, perpetually burning on into infinity.
I can't emphasize how serious this all is. Many innocent will be banned, and even killed (the number is looking to be about 38 billion), but it is more a better tomorrow for all of humanity.
This thread will be a final test for all users. I look forward to seeing you on the other side.
I can't believe i read all that, it was fun though...what was i supposed to do?
>>25063429
Post your creamiest memes if you want to live.
>>25063490
i don't have any of those...but i guess i can give it a shot.
>>25063526
ok, here it is
>>25063601
Looks pretty good man, but you'll have to wait until the results come back. Posting more cream memes will give you a better chance so keep going if you can.
dafuq is dis sheeit
post proofs now
moot dindu nuffin
>>25063189
tfw no dank image macros on mobile
Pls no banerinofrosted butts
This is the creamiest meme I have
>0 sources
>>25063721
Unfortunately all transcripts are confidential.
But your proof lies in all of the cuck-hold (hyphen for censorship) threads and reddit posters and women and their sycophants, and all of the degeneracy here that you see around you.
>>25063726
Run home, lad. You must post your cream memes at once while this thread still stands.
>>25063756
Mmm yeah that's pretty good too. A cream meme for ya.
This is my favorite meme.
I hope its enough for me to stay.
Can't meme a memer.
>>25063844
>>25063858
These are good but in order to maximize your chances you have to provide your dankest original content memes. It is your ability to make genesis of cream meme that is your most valuable asset as an /r9k/ white genius superman poster.
>>25063826
Nishimura specifically told me not to leave a paper or digital trail of any kind, save for this thread.
>>25063189
The influx of degeneracy is disgusting.
more sick memes tbqh family
>>25063958
The only thing i've ever maid is Gerry Adams reaction pictures and Anime themed bait pictures
Ill just hang myself now to save you the effort.
>>25064049
>The only thing i've ever maid
Holy shit that's genius.
Draw a picture of it. Manifest this cream meme.
>>25063626
Ok, last one, i call this le i enjoyed that meme face
>>25064142
Wow, that's really good. I think you have an excellent shot at staying on 4chan.
>>25064038
moar clowns.
>>25064179
>>25064038
That's alright, but I think you can do better. Remember, you want the spiciest, dankest memes you can possibly bring forward. I may be wrong, but clowns might not be that spicy, and certainly aren't dank.
>>25063858
>lol fuck off lawrence
kekkkk haven't seen this one in ages
May God help you all.
