What are (comfy) jobs where you basically get paid to do nothing? Security guard seems like a good one:
>at night
>no one there
>sit on your ass all day
>just walk around the building a couple times
>enough time to read
>enough time to learn a skill
>no need to socialize
Come on robots, let's help each other out!
>>24618875
I believe the night shift is like that in some places. Like office parks, where they need to have someone there so they can say they had someone there and cover their ass legally if anything happens. Some of the daytime security jobs are strict about not letting you be on your phone or a computer or anything at all.
in any case plum jobs like this are only gonna become rarer and rarer.
>>24618875
>training is quite rigorous if you plan to work somewhere respectable
>there is a chance you will actually have to physically fight someone alone in the middle of the night
I'll stick to my semi-comfy job. Hotel beach attendant. Get people chairs, umbrellas, and towels, and sit in the office during downtime. Bad weather=8 hours of sitting in an office with free food in between.
>>24619156
Also, to add onto this, the comfiest job of all time is hotel gift shop clerk.
>sit in gift shop for 8 hours
>do nothing but occasionally sell a can of soda or some sunscreen
That bitch has it so easy it's ridiculous, and she gets 11 bucks an hour
Let's agree the comfiest job is a hotel critic,
You get paid for going to a hotel and sitting on a laptop
>warehouse job
>be strong
>only responsibility is moving boxes o' heavy shit
>feels good because you can look at other people in your workplace and know that they couldn't do your job
>>24619385
That's literally the exact opposite of what we're looking for here, anon. Moving heavy boxes is hard work. We want jobs where we receive some nonzero amount of money for doing as close to fuck-all as possible.
>>24619385
No dude I want to sit on my ass and do jack shit all day. What's so hard to understand?
>>24618875
>System administrator in medium-size office
>Worked hard the first few months to set up everything as it should be
>Doing nothing ever since, maybe 0-2 cases of small helpdesk type of work a day
I work at a hotel on the beach
>8 hour shift
>maybe get called 3 times the whole shift to do something
>deliver sheets to a room or help old person use the TV
>rest of the time I browse the internet on my phone
I don't make shit though, but its really a good job for a robot.
>painter at university
>get to roll paint on a wall and listen to music all day
>get state pay and benefits
>if I don't feel like working I can just drive around in the van and look at the whores
>everyone else working there is drunk or stoned so I can do whatever I want
>sometimes I'll close a bathroom "for maintenance" and take a nap on the toilet
>>24619746
are you that hacker 4chan? system administrator?
>>24619846
>>sometimes I'll close a bathroom "for maintenance" and take a nap on the toilet
God, I aspire to be you.
how do i get night shift ez pz job
>>24619746
tech jobs are the best desu
if you're in software development at a good place they'll buy you fancy machines, expensive chairs, provide free soda/coffee
you sit on your ass all day and when your manager asks why you don't have something done you can make some shit he won't understand up and he'll be like 'ok just get it done next week'
>>24619937
>work 10pm-7:30am at 24 hour gas station
>can't sell beer after 1am=no more customers
>coffee full, trash empty, floors clean, etc
>literally nothing productive to do
>tfw manager also works on third shifts
>tfw i'll get in trouble if i don't do anything
>>24619968
trouble is getting past HR. You need a degree, internships, experience, a portfolio, and references.
Software quality assurance.
>>24620113
i got lucky and have four internships worth of experience with good references, and i'm a junior
once you get your first the rest aren't as hard, since they've seen that you're not totally incompetent
you just need to find a company that's willing to take on someone with no experience for an internship
find a small software company that's been around for a while is my advice
also this
>>24620194
you'll learn a lot about software by doing it and it can get you in the door for more serious dev positions
>>24620093
sounds ez
>>24620289
>and i'm a junior
so what do you do if you aren't a college student and have been a neet for two years?
All the internships I've ever seen require you to be an active student
I used to work night shifts at a Tim Hortons, and it was pretty comfy. Granted every once in a while it got shitty, but for the most part I just sat around eating the left over donuts.
>>24620314
i've never heard of any requiring you to be an 'active' student
in that case i'd say you need a portfolio, if you're purely self-taught
github is probably sufficient but your own website would be better
it's not like you don't have time to learn and build it
I serve in the military. I drive to the base every day just to eat and work out.
>>24618875
lol security guards are being replaced by cyborg spiders and killer robots with laser guns
>>24620487
>>i've never heard of any requiring you to be an 'active' student
all of them had that listed at my college. well, before I dropped out and all. Quite literally non-students need not apply, they had a line saying you must be in college, at least a sophomore, studying CS, CE, software engineering, IT, or some related or relevant discipline
>>24620654
Yeah, maybe by the end of the century.
I have Comfy job
I am in Germany taking care of old bastard.
Basically I wake up at workplace, help him around house, help him with moving, go to store, buy him and myself shit, do chores after that I have like 13 hours free to do what ever fuck I want. I even have my own car/free gas
downside is I am not at home and I have to be everyday in house.
>>24620676
well of course they're going to post those ones at a college
you can look through other channels and find others, but i've personally not tried that route so good luck
>>24619385
Better find another job before you get injured.
>>24618875
My dad is a security guard and there is some kid in his early 20s there working the night shift and all he does at is play games on his laptop.
>>24619746
>>24619968
>>24620194
okay let me over-ride my geneticaly-coded inability to understand anything other than simple math and then go to university for like 8 years to get a degree in stemology and all that extra shit that this anon mentioned >>24620113
>>24620965
Fucking This. I worked a a warehouse where they kept trying to overwork us. Even the people who have tenure get fucking injured.
I don't even know how they do this.
And what's worse is that there is like a fucking drug ring in the building for people who have advils and ibuprofen just so you can keep on working and ignore the pain for a little bit.
Before you go home and fall apart.
>>24621030
And your dad does more?
>>24620777
Do you have to wipe his ass?
or does he use those bidet things
>>24621055
>8 years
most comp sci majors only get a bachelor's, something like 80% of them
it's also an easier field to get into without a degree than others
not easy, but still easier than others
None. Im getting close to killing myself for real tho so I don't have to waste anyone's time anymore.
>>24618875
I worked as a.... I'm not even sure what my official title was... my job was to collect lunch trays at the food court of a shopping mall, clean and wipe them, and then redistribute them to all the fast food place. I'd also sweep garbage off the floor & tables, change out garbages, and clean just the mirrors & sinks of the washrooms and not the actual toilets.
Really comfy as fuck and there was no real rush ever since the shopping mall was mostly for old people, but my coworkers were also old people so the the comfort turned to awkward silences a lot so I got out of there.
Quite honestly my dream slavewage job would to literally be cleaning toilets and floors, but there's never anything like that ever listed in job sites. Floors don't ask to see the manager, soap doesn't try to use coupons on things that are already on sale and even though it clearly states on the coupon that it can't be combined with another offer they still try to barter with you and hold up the line, mops don't tell you that they're in a hurry and call you buddy, your assistant-assistant-manager doesn't force you to wish toilets "happy holidays" and you don't have to wear a Christmas hat, etc.
>>24621066
>I don't even know how they do this.
welcome to a slack labor market. It's worse in unskilled sectors like warehouses, since there's lots of unskilled people that need the work, can't do anything higher up the scale. Lots more than businesses need. They know the workforce is competing to work for them, they aren't competing to retain workers. So they can chew you up and spit you out.
I used to be boiling mad about this when I was younger, until I realized that out goal is really to do the exact same thing, take them for fools and get paid for little-to-no labor. Which we would be doing in a tight market.
Dimensional Metrologist here. I sit in a temperature controlled lab all day at a comfortable 68 degrees and just calibrate shit for 8 hours. And by calibrate, I mean let machines do the work for me and take the readings.
>>24621153
Wipe ass but with gloves, nothing too much
>>24621313
>literally getting paid to wipe someone's ass
yeh fuck that. unless you are making mad money(which i doubt).
>>24618875
>all these JUST BECOME A SCIENTIST replies
why, this is worse than "be yourself"
>>24619810
Holy shit same here. It's fucking great.
>>24619846
Fuck yeah by sleeping in toilet
>>24619810
>>24621513
Same. Where the hell are you guys? I work in Sarasota FL
>>24620777
Why assist old nazi in Dutchland?
>>24621717
wow cool I'm on the other side of FL, port st lucie. The season has started and we're getting swamped with guests from up north but every day is like paradise with this weather.
>>24621783
I fucking love this job and we're swamped as hell too. We've got the #1 beach in the USA in our city so it's kind of hellish, especially because our hotel is a decrepit pile of shit built in 1950. Luckily we're directly next to the Ritz Carlton so most people just go there. Despite everything, you can't beat living on a tropical beach. Love it out here.
>>24621729
why not he defended White race
I've always figured working as a librarian would be comfy but I can't comment cause I'm not one.
>>24621729
>Germany
>Dutchland
Come on man you're better than this.
>>24622480
You need a degree to be a librarian now.
>>24622913
not just a bachelor's, either. You do a bachelors in some liberal-arts field and then do a masters' in library science.
source: my mom got a masters' in reading education and couldn't be an actual librarian at the library she worked at because of that.
>international flight attendant
>most of the time get paid to hang out at home on reserve
>occasionally have a trip where I do 5-10 hour flights
>serve at most two meals and two drinks, about an hour of "work" for an entire flight
>get paid to hang out in hotel rooms and play games on my laptop
>get paid to travel the world while hardly working at all
>>24623008
When you're on reserve, can you get called at any time or do they have to give you notice beforehand?
>>24619846
You're a pretty rad guy
Caregiver is the ultimate comfy job.
My day so far ( I'm at work watching football)
> get to work
> give 2 clients their meds and food
> they go back to sleep
> so do we
> paid to nap
> wake up
> play heathstone and vape
> paid to vidya
> I want to get /fit/ so I got them a gym membership
> get paid to lift
> come back
> eat and watch football while I post this
>>24618875
gas station attendant(at least in Israel)
>You can be on your phone while there is no cars
>You can be on your phone while fueling cars (just move a meter aside)
>barely cars at night shift, you can be hour straight without cars, all the chores(like cleaning, no fueling) taking 40 min top
>morning shift are shit because the maneger is around.
>>24623183
*in non busy stations
>>24623063
When I'm on reserve the shortest notice they can give me to work is 2 hours, so i have to be within 2 hours of the airport. People I've talked to have never been given that short of a notice though, and the shortest I've been given is 2 days.
>>24623008
How does the pay work? Is it hourly? Long ass days and living away from home is only nice when they compensate well.
>>24623622
That sounds pretty nice anon. Too bad I don't live near an airport.Plus I'm Arab. Imagine how frightened people would be with me on the plane with them these days.
