>Guys look who's come out of his cave!
H-hi e-everyone. How are you Uncle Bob? Did the trans surgery go well ?
I think I'll take my food back to my room now.
>>24371633
Wait why the fuck did I just walk out of my apartment bedroom into my parent's dining room. Someone get me out of this hell.
That ginger is really scary looking make him stop smiling please
>tfw my parents always called me Sleeping Beauty
>even once i started college
>>24371633
i'd fuck the granny
"So glad you made time from your busy schedule to join us"
Ey b0ss' n senpai
I'd like to do the tellings 4 u
I present u mah latest fetish, desu
scat
I am now requesting you todo the shitting down my throatorino.
>>24371633
Whats with the place settings? 3 forks 1 knife and a dessert spoon? America truly is a backwards and savage land.
Oh god fuck that shit.
All those eyes, the questions, the spotlight shining down on you.
>Don't you get bored sitting in your room ALL day?
>So when are you getting a girlfriend? You won't find one up there ha ha ha
And you just stand there while they all laugh and make petty jokes out of you.
You just fucking stand there.
>>24371825
>>Don't you get bored sitting in your room ALL day?
But seriously... don't you?
>>24371854
NO GODDAMIT. I AM HAPPY.
>>24371825
This actually happened to me a lot. My parents were very social and would get mad if I didn't shake the guests hands, one by fucking one. They'd constantly ask stupid shit like that in front of the guests.
Haha! Hey, everyone!
I'd like to take this moment to talk to you about the Jews and why I think nationalism socialism is really the way to go!
This is almost as bad as that gif of everyone staring at you at a party.
I usually stock up on supplies before gatherings like this take place, last time it happened the fuckers were here from 5pm until 11pm for my dads birthday.
Wriggling out of the singing happy birthday was a nightmare but in the end I got my own way.
>>24371633
>Hey guys. Just got out from working in the mine caves you know. Trying to collect resources, make a honest living you know.
Of course anon! We are glad you are being productive and responsible for your age.
>I am 22
>they don't realize I was actually referring to myself playing 90+ hours on some shitty Minecraft sever on pee see while pissing in bottles and shitting out the window like an Indian.
that feel when christmas is coming and i will have to spend lunch with extended family or my parents will take away my internet access.
>why don't you have a job yet? :^)
>>24372717
>Wriggling out of the singing happy birthday was a nightmare but in the end I got my own way.
>dads birthday.
Wow. This made me sad. Your father must hurt a lot knowing his manchild doesn't even give a shit about him. He can't even bother to drag his fat NEET ass out of his room for two minutes to sing happy birthday for his own father.
I hope after your father gets hit by a bus and dies, you think back on all the moments in his life you ignored to post on a chinese cartoon website.
>>24372946
He shouldn't feel bad, I refuse to attend anyone's birthdays so he's not being singled out. The most recent one was my little sisters birthday.
>>24373016
>I refuse to attend anyone's birthdays so he's not being singled out. The most recent one was my little sisters birthday.
Man that's edgy. Is it worth it avoiding these family memories to do what basically amounts to nothing?
Why don't you just be normal?
>>24373016
Just because he's not the only one doing it doesn't mean it's not wrong
>>24372716
Does anyone have that gif?
>>24373040
>Why don't you just be normal?
Because I'm not normal, I have the autismbux to show for it.
>>24373070
I have this... but its not a gif
>>24372887
>that feel when christmas is coming
Fuck, I hate it when all my relatives get together and then I hear them say my name and some loud laughter afterwards. I think it's finally time to kill myself.
Or if I'm forced to join them they start asking those uncomfortable questions: "When are you finally getting a gf/job? Are you going back to school?"
I know they do it on purpose, I fucking know it. I guess it's finally time to kill myself before that day.
Hey everyone, glad to see you didn't build a wall around my door like those dirty Mexicans.
>>24371633
>Christmas every year
God I'm dreading this Christmas so much already, I wish I could stay in my dorm
>>24373085
They do it because they know you'd be happier if you did those things. You know... as opposed to killing yourself.
>>24371633
>Guys look who's come out of his cave!
oh parents, you have no friends/relatives because you're horrible people.
Where's my spic family?
Can some robots share some good ways to deal with relatives or parents when they ask why I don;t have a girlfriend or a job yet? I fucking hate how they always ask the same fucking question every year.
>>24373144
You could say you're looking around but haven't found anything that stuck out to you. Works with both too.
>>24373073
Anyone can get autismbux from the government because it's just a made up excuse to get you dependent on welfare. You are a kek to the feds.
You should kill yourself.
>>24373144
>Why don't you have a gf anon?
>Just haven't found the right one yet. Maybe I should install tinder heh
>ooh i've heard of that
>grandpa asks what tinder is
>technology is now being explained to an old man for 15 minutes and you are off the hook
>>24373144
for gf I tell them I'm too ugly, and women aren't interested in me.
for job I tell them I don't have any skills and that's why employers haven't hired me
Honesty is the best policy
>>24373185
That's actually pretty good
>>24373182
Bullshit, I was diagnosed with aspergers aged 4.
>>24373162
Yeah, they will obviously know I'm lying but I guess it's better than just staying silent for a few seconds and laugh awkwardly after.
>>24373185
>>Why don't you have a gf anon?
>>Just haven't found the right one yet. Maybe I should install tinder heh
Pretty good response, I will use this response next time. I was actually thinking about lying and tell them I'm gay so they can finally stop asking that shit.
>>24373193
>for gf I tell them I'm too ugly, and women aren't interested in me.
I would say this but they are terrible people and will probably make some nasty joke about my looks.
>>24371633
>m-mom the toilets blocked again
>>24373236
>terrible people and will probably make some nasty joke about my looks.
you have a toxic family too eh?
i hate them, but i cant imagine my life without them, it sucks. i wish i had friends or knew people outside if them.
>>24371633
fffffffUHCK YOU ALL. GO TO HELL YOU JEW SHITS.
>>24371854
The information age has made this a dumb question to ask, not even kidding. In my room I have access to all the porn, music, videos, forums, and knowledge I want.
>>24371877
Are you REALLY happy?
Is it just me or do older relatives intimidate the fuck out of you?
I'm always uncomfortable around my grandparents and aunts and uncles.
>>24373144
Ree as loud as you possibly can and flip the table.
They won't ask again I promise
>>24373496
They do now but it's mostly because they've known me my whole life and I'm ashamed for having turned out this way.
>>24371633
>impying I actually ever do leave my room
>tfw used to hide in my room for every holiday
>One Christmas my cousin comes in my room and doesn't say a word and just sits there eating except for us saying hey and I was playing with a Launchpad I got
>Sometimes I'd just stay up so late and sleep until everyone was gone
That shit still haunts me
Shit my cousin just turned up with her new boyfriend, what should I do robots? My mum is currently entertaining them but I can sense the knock at my door any minute now.
>>24373598
HIDE OR ESCAPE
get out a window or something anon
no matter what keep us updated live. maybe head to a mcdonalds or some place with free wifi
i believe in you
SIC SEMPER TYRANNIS
>>24373715
Ok its gone quiet downstairs now so they have either left or have gone into a room and shut the door. I'm too nervous to go and check.
I really don't know what to do, I can't leave as I'm upstairs and its raining outside.
>>24373837
do you have food and water/fluids? supplies to barricade the door?
>>24373881
I spoke too soon, I just heard them come out of the living room.
>do you have food and water/fluids?
I just had a pot noodle and the only liquids in here is condensation on the windows. I have a lock on my bedroom door but they know I'm in here.
>>24373932
dang. In future, consider making a "bug out"/emergency situations bag with food, water, etc. and stuff
for now I would suggest locking the door and ignoring them. if anyone asks just say you had headphones on or were asleep and didn't know they were there. works for me, usually.
>>24373984
Oh god I just heard someone come up the stairs and enter the bathroom.
>bug out"/emergency situations bag with food, water, etc. and stuff
Will do that, what kind of stuff would be good for long periods of storage?
>Hitler did nothing wrong and you're all puppets of the kikes
There, grab your water while they sit there and then you'll never have to worry about this shit again.
>>24373984
>>24374089
Its definitely not mum, I didn't hear them close the door which everyone in this house always does. thankfully they went downstairs.
Once again the stupidest thread was avoided on 4chan.
>>24371633
Look, uncle Goldberg, I'm not saying the Holocaust didn't happen, okay? I'm JUST SAYING that much of the commonly believed narrative has been grossly exaggerated to dehumanize the Nazis.
>>24371633
>this is happening everyday
>I'm caught in a time loop
>>24374089
well you can check out these but most of this stuff isn't really usefull except for disaster-survival situations, so just stick to the food and water parts:
http://bugoutbagacademy.com/free-bug-out-bag-list/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bug-out_bag
Essentially you want non-perishable foods. You can buy MRE ration things like the army uses, they last forever and include everything you need for a nutritionally balanced meal (as long as you eat everything in it, no saving snacks for later) . dehydrated foods like beef jerky is good too.
>>24374186
Trollcave bro is that you?
>tfw your mother gives someone a tour of the house and they come into your room?
>>24373080
>only two guys there
>literally Chad and Tyrone
>>24374228
sorry friend it is not.
I don't actually know who that is, t b h. but I'm assuming they're cool.
>>24374186
Thanks, I'm getting into this prepper stuff so this is just what I needed.
Last Christmas my Uncle (an obese, snorting pig of a man) asked me why I didn't have a job.
I looked him directly in the eyeballs and said "Here's why!" -
I then punched myself in the face as hard as I could three times.
I grinned at them all, I think 17 cunts in total, as they sat around the table in shock.
The funniest part of all: I took a entire chicken and a bottle of red wine back to my room and proceeded to play Street Fighter 4 and masturbate for the rest of the day...
But let me tell you this -
Next year didn't go so well. As soon as I entered the room my father (he had not been at the Christmas prior as he is an armyfag and had been deployed to Afghanistan)...
Well, my father came right up to me and punched me right in the face and said something about 'that's his a real man does it you faceless fuckhole'.
He then threw a bottle of wine and a whole chicken at me. The wine smashed on the kitchen counter, but I picked that chicken up and I took the chicken back to my room.
I had a stash of bourbon and vodka up there, so it was a pretty good Christmas.
Best part: I heard my mother coming up the stair - so I opened my door and left it slightly ajar.
Perfect timing: SHE OPENED THE DOOR TO FIND ME FUCKING THAT CHICKEN AND I EJACULATED JUST AS SHE ENTERED THE ROOM CRYING.
I can't wait until this Christmas.
>>24374250
Hes a robot that is building a cave network in the woods for when things go tits-up.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jZX1flEY8K4
>tfw can behave properly in society
Feels good man, Im still a 22 yo KV tho.
they won't be laughing when I kill myself
>>24374319
Hey bro, I'm a cyborg too. 25 y/o KS.
>>24373144
"haha I do alright for myself but I haven't got the money or patience to get into a relationship"
*male family members laugh heartily and pat you on the back*
*female family members look at each other and roll their eyes as if to say "tsk, typical man!"*
easy peasy, unless you're an ugly sperg, in which case no one will believe you
>>24374295
i feel this man will probably die from this. from a cave-in or asphyxiation from cooking in an enclosed space or something.
I hope not though.
When I was a kid the whole family would come over for events. My grandparents, my three uncles, my cousins, even my great aunt. It was packed and everyone had a nice time. I was also too young to be considered a loser yet.
Now all of my grandparents are dead, my great aunt is dead, my one uncle (who lived in the grandparent's basement, I think he was a NEET) killed himself, and my cousins are too busy with college or work to come over.
So it's just me, my ">tfw no gf" uncle, my chad uncle and his wife (plus their youngest children), my wigger half brother, and my mom.
Time sucks.
How many of you actually do just sit on your arses and do nothing for years?
I've been unemployed for 2 months out of my previous job and already have an interview for another job in a week, which I'm pretty confident I'll get.
How are you not bored yet?
>>24374543
>How are you not bored yet?
I find any kind of human interaction to be draining and tedious. When I'm at home I can concentrate and flourish in my hobbies.
>>24374543
The boredom goes away after a while
>>24374543
You should try violently fucking a roast chicken.
Or really, just attempt to fuck any meal your mother has spent a significant amount of time preparing.
There's no such thing as boredom.
And there's no help, no.
>>24374519
Fuck a roast chicken, you silly weak cunt.
I once fucked a sandwich in front of my mother.
When you really think about it - who gives a fuck?
>>24374708
Many people give a fuck about many things, why do you think asking "who gives a fuck?" is a good argument?
>>24374708
What's your favorite food senpai?
>>24374439
Listen, my approach is generally this:
It's my house and if you don't want to watch me fuck myself with a German Weiss wurst at you Oktoberfest party - then tou should move THE FUCK out.
Your focus will determine your reality.
I never asked to be born. But I will shove any sausage you have prepared for your guests right up my ass.
>>24374292
le edgy
>>24374292
>and yet you stay with your family...
>>24371680
fuck the robutt
>>24374273
make sure to visit /out/ and /k/, theyre crazy about these kind of things
>>24371633
"hello anon, come sit down and have some foo-..what's that you have there?"
BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG.
>>24373100
>everyone loves their job and gf
>>24373213
>a professional diagnosed it
>it must be real
>>24375007
We have the NHS here so they can't just diagnose me with something to make money.
>>24374292
Any more stories about your abusive dad?
>>24375037
They can't do that in the US without parental consent either.
You might very well have Asberger's, but it's just silly how much trust people put into psychiatrists. A lot of minor autism is a product of poorly raised kids whose parents just dropped them in front of the TV and never socialized them. It only gets worse when the kid is told throughout childhood that he has a mental illness, and segregated into "special" classes.
>>24373144
Yes, avoid them at all cost. Worked for me. At least for relatives. My mother knows my situation and don't bother asking anything.
>>24373144
>>24373144
Classic r9k content.
>>24375330
>i'm across the pacific now
pedo tourist in SEA detected
Wait your mom's don't lie for you or make excuses for you to not come out of the room or why you didn't show up? fucking normies itt
>>24375037
Lol...don't know how government works? They have every motivation to put you on the dole and keep you there. They will give you a false diagnosis in a second if they can keep you in their clutches.
>>24373040
You think that's edgy? I refuse to attend funerals too.
>>24371773
fuck dude i thought that was a turkey
still better than webm related
