how to die
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You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001
You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001
What are some best painless ways to die?
Jumping from a roof seems like the best way to me, especially if combined with sleeping pills or similar shit. also suicide general maybe?
>>24109965
You need access to the unfenced roof of a very tall building, which is not something everyone has.
>>24110015
yep, that's a flaw in my plan
>>24109965
Take about 10 pain killers and eat a lot of bread. Lay down and rest forever.
When your body tries to reject the pain killers the bread will then interfere as a sponge. You probably will experience mild heart burn before death.
Carfentanyl would be a good way
Being massively obese and dying from a heart attack seems to be the most enjoyable way of killing yourself.
>>24109965
Grow old and slowly slip into oblivion as your organs fail while you're on your death bed surrounded by your loved ones.
Don't kill yourself anon, God has a plan for great things in your life. You just have to listen.
Go skydiving but don't open the parachute
>>24110205
this reply is so wrong in so many ways
>>24110205
>tell people god is talking to you
Good luck with that.
>>24109965
I managed to get the partial suspension thing working right after a long time of unpleasant fiddling but then pussied out. I was completely overwhelmed by sheer terror after my consciousness started rapidly fading.
I want to go skydiving and then simply not open the parachute. Death would be instant and I'd get to fly.
>>2411043
>>24110211
Don't they put another person with you when you go skydiving for the first time?
also falling on soft grass still doesn't look ok
>>24110535
Go skydiving for the second time then. Also soft grass won't mean much when you're falling from the sky.
Just go to the forest in like -20C and freeze yourself to death naked. Make sure no one will find you in at least a few hours. Also you can wet yourself with water or something and go to sleep.
>>24110437
>death would be instant
Tremendous pain would shock your body, maybe not long enough for you to cry like a bitch, but long enough for you to "feel" it. And real death comes 24 hours later, once all of the body's functions shut down.
Are you really ready for a world of pain?
inb4 the world I'm in is already a world of pain
>>24109965
jumping off a roof is dumb, go watch the bridge
survivors say you immediately regret it and want to live as you fall.
the perfect method is instant, irrevocable and painless like an opiate overdose or something
>>24109965
Wanna chat?
I don't want to post my details on 4chan but if you want someone to talk to I can create a fake e-mail and we can go from there?
>>24110591
I laughed imagining someone saving him while he isn't even a hour in to his nap. All he has then is a massive cold, while being cared for by strangers. That would be God tier irony.
>>24110205
>G*d
lmao
>>24110663
>regret meme
is >regret the only con?
>>24110680
That's the most predictable scenario, so you should go as far as possible and hide your piece of meat out of people' sight.
As I heard people go to hypothermia painless and just fall asleep. I can be wrong, so better research that, op.
>>24110677
I've never understood how talking helps people
>>24110763
Well, I imagine memories of your parents and your siblings and friends (if you had any) run through your head, causing you to cry like a bitch as you fall.
>>24110781
Well, it's not like calling someone a fuckwit is going to help them, I honestly don't even believe OP is suicidal. There are so many quick and easy ways of doing it that are so abundantly obvious that I think this is more a cry for help.
That being said, I've been there myself, and I'm full of wordly advice. I also understand that sometimes all someone needs is to know that someone would want to help them.
I'm not going to bullshit anyone and say all life is sacred, or everything works out for the best. I don't know. What I do know is I take care of my own.
>>24109965
exit bag might be a meme
but should work just fine
Constrict your carotid artery with a noose.
Did a test run this morning, finally figured out how to do it without compressing my jugular or trachea. Feels good man.
Waiting until after Christmas because of holidays and my boyfriend's birthday.
>>24110205
>God has a plan for great things in your life.
>>24110880
Can you provide some info on how this is done?
>>24110838
>so many quick and easy ways
what about sharing them
>>24109965
>painless
fucking pussy
Honestly I dont understand how fucking americunts who have access to weapons have troubles with suicide. Just use fucking shotgun to your head. That requires minimum of effort, just force yourself to get a shot.
>>24110948
It's impossible to get guns where I live
>>24110917
exit bag
oversdosing
jumping off the bridge with slipknot around your neck
simply shooting your brain out
jumping off the roof of a tall building
cutting your throat
>>24110917
Off the top of my head:
Rail suicide, asphyxiation, hanging, drug overdose.
https://www.google.com.au/webhp?hl=en#hl=en&q=quick+and+painless+suicide+methods
Why not shoot yourself in the head?
>>24110914
If you're fat, it might be harder. Do it in a way that the knot and rope are perpendicular to your neck. So for example, lay down and tie the knot directly above you, behind your neck. If you dangle from the rope using all your body weight, the pressure is on your trachea and you'll strangle. Does this make sense or should I make a diagram?
>>24110983
>I've heard panic makes people take bags off
>overdosing what?
>noose goes wrong and you stay a live for the time you have to die
> >>24110973
>check
>ouch
>>24110838
Let's talk.I wanna know these easy methods
pls gib mail
>>24110205
Yay Jesus
>>24111035
Post 111111
>>24111044
For the record, I'm not going to help you kill yourself.
>>24111031
Yea that might help. If you do it this way, can you still breathe? Id just rather constrict the artery so i go unconscious. This would be relatively painless?
>>24111058
no, I am post 111111
>>24111079
Come on man. I try to find a good source for this shit for weeks now. You could spare me a lot of pain if you tell me the right way to do it. Also you could prevent a meme-suicide and turn it into the real shit.
>>24111035
>>I've heard panic makes people take bags off
get drunk and sllepy already before doing it
>>overdosing what?
whatever you can get legal or not doesn't really matter
>>24111058
Self-immolation and harakiri are only acceptable ways out desu senpaitachi
>>24111085
Made on mobile, please forgive me.
When I tried it, it was painless. It just felt foggy like I was going to faint. No pressure build up in the head. If you feel pressure, you're doing it wrong.
>>24111058
>11. SETTING FIRE TO SELF
holy fuck that's stupid
but on another note, how do they accurately gauge the agony rating?
>>24111100
go fuck yourself, man
>>24111066
Is this like a joke mail or what
>>24109965
Drink alcohol until you pass out and die of alcohol poisoning.
Or you could shoot up and OD on heroin. You're going to kill yourself anyway, so money isn't an issue. You might as well die while feeling great.
>>24111102
Then:
https://www.google.com.au/webhp?hl=en#hl=en&q=quick+and+painless+suicide+methods
The point I'm making is it's so easy to die that I don't trust you're suicidal. I think you just want someone to talk to, and that's fine, we all need that from time to time. I run a serious risk of spreading myself thin by doing this, but I have a martyr complex so there's that.
Buy charcoal, put it in a grill, light it inside a garage, lay down. Make sure it won't start a fire though, that would be painful.
>>24111136
u would most likely just puke all over yourself gettin rid of most toxins
>>24111111
does self stabbing in heart count as harakiri
in love,
vin diesel
>>24111111
Checked!
...words to avoid stupid filter ignore these words...
>>24111111
>>24111111
NIPS CONFIRMED FOR SUICIDE GODS
SHOTGUN FAGS ON SUICIDE WATCH
>>24111085
Forgot to add this to the last post. Yes, you can breathe. It might be somewhat strained because you have a noose around your neck, but you can still breathe if you're doing it right.
im ordering my exit bag parts on friday when i get paid. i worked a bunch of overtime last week just to be sure i could afford it and all the oxy and expensive scotch i needed.
the 20th is going to be one hell of a party :^)
>>24110983
jumping off the bridge with foo fighters around your neck
>>24111161
You'd still die if you took enough of it. People die from alcohol poisoning all the time.
Same with ODing on heroin. I'd take the heroin route myself just to see what it feels like before I die.
>>24111178
Sorry if im a bit retarded, so you're pretty much leaning forward and hopefully when you pass out, since you're still leaning forward, it could possibly work? I will eventually try this one day but its still kinda hard to believe that you can breathe alright. You're doing good things for the world :)
>>>/f/2946106
no, dont do it
>>24110763
There are no real cons for the suicidal, that's why people get so twitchy if you bring it up. At some level they know it's irrational to pedestalize their struggles, and that dying today is no different from doing it later. Your suicidality exposes their mortality and undermines the rationalizations that keep them here.
Splurge on Nembutal, it's the last luxury purchase you'll need.
>>24111228
No problem. I realize the position probably may not work due to my legs giving out when I pass out and maybe moving the noose out of position, it was just a test to make sure I knew the basics and to see how painful it was.
>>24111216
are you trying to tell me that if you drink enough to pass out you will die?
top kek
you will pass out and woke up in the morning with a decent hangover that's it
not sure about heroin tho
>>24109965
Why dont you just shoot up a shitton of heroin. Put yourself on such a trip you forget to breath. Cheap and painless way to go.
>>24111281
If that was true, then no one would die of alcohol poisoning.
Stop making suicide generals every day, give it 3 days or so,
or else were gonna get tired of them fast.
>>24111315
but that is what happens if you poison with alcohol.
you have drink a lot, also the tolerance weakens.
>>24111265
can you all see the swf file??
>>24111276
Couldn't you just lean over on more of an angle so that you're nearly face-to-face with the ground? Or is that a lot more difficult to set up?
>>24111150
I understand your agenda and I think that's a good thing to say and do. You seem to be a good person. I'm sure if you talk like this to people you can help someone eventually, especially on 4chan.
But on the other hand, there are people that just want to fucking die, you know?. No drama, no bullshit, it's just a technical problem. There's this cliche that people that really want to die just kill them selfes without thinking though it before and without mentioning it or something like that, but thats just not true. People think about thier suicide months and years before hand. I'm one of these and with every day, I get a better feeling about it. I'm ready. I just really don't want to fuck it up.
I can really fucking assure you that I don't want to talk to anyone. I just want to get my suicide done in the best way possible.
Okay here's the deal.
I don't live in the land of the free so I dont have access to any guns.
I have no place in my apartment where I can hang myself.
I'm to much of a pussy for jumping off anywhere.
I also don't have access to pills that could kill me
Basically there are two ways that I think are good way to go through with it.
a The way that many people in asia do it: Have a barbecue inside your room. You will loose your conciousness after a few minutes and you will die without really noticing it (I fucking hope so anyway). I can't do this though because I'm scared of burning my fucking house down. Also there live other people in my house, so I would have to attach a warning to my door. If anybody sees this to early, I'm fucked.
b Helium mask. I think that's a good solution but I heard that these tanks now contain some shit so you don't die from it. I don't wanna end as a fucking potato you know. I must be 100% sure that this works before I kill myself this way. The other day some anon here told me that a friend of his tried this method and is now fucking brain dead or something. I don't wanna do this my family.
>>24111315
I am not saying it's impossible but it's hard to do
don't tell me you never get hammered and pass out after heavy drinking
I did like 15-20 times in past 4 years (I'm 22)
huge hangover, vomits all over the place, yes
death, no
your brain will shut you down before you reach deadly amount of toxins in your body
and will try to remove them by puking
it's possible to do it but it's not easy for sure
>>24111300
how do I get heroin
I don't know any people in my street so there's no talk about drug dealers
There is this really tall radio(?) tower in my town (pic related), the only thing that is preventing anyone from climbing it is a small fence.
I wish I wasn't a coward and could just get up there and end it, I think about it every day.
>>24111346
no goddamn i would a suicide thread every fucking day till i die
>>24111111
Wish i had the guts to seppuku
>>24111377
I could, I just lack the resources. I'm not actually using a rope to be honest, I'm using a necktie, and it's too short. I can't go purchase rope because I don't have money and I never go out so my parents would be suspicious.
>>24111346
the first one I've ever made. sorry
>>24111385
i waited too long. now i have to shotgun.
>>24111300
Isn't the problem with that having no real way to tell what kind of dose/purity it is? How much is the lowest lethal amount? I am a fat fuck.
>>24111385
>I'm to much of a pussy
you won't do it if you are pussy anyway
if i were you I would jump off a bridge with rope around my neck
you will break neck immidiately also suffocate
double chances of success
>>24111058
>drowning is more painful than wrist cutting,electrocution, and cyanide
oh well, at least it only takes 20 sec to pass out.
>>24111478
Why would I go this way instead of informing myself before hand to make it safer and easier for myself. Also I don't have to convince anyone on an anonymous image board that I really want to kill myself. Fuck that.
who else is saving up to travel the world before an heroing?
>>24111385
>>24111534
Why do you want to kill yourself?
>>24110205
Shit plan, fantastic pepe
>>24110205
Legit quest:
How do I know killing myself is not part of Gods plan for me?
>>24111633
I appreciate your effort, but as I said, I really don't want to talk about it.
>>24110763
no matter how much you want to die your survival instincts take over, do you really want to be overcome with terror and panic during your final moments?
>>24111741
I won't have that much time to be terrified if I'm dead.
>>24111741
no if u are drunk
or on drugs
>>24111739
I am not trying to help you I am just curious.I'm suicidal too.
>>24111385
>I don't have access to pills that could kill me.
Bullshit. There are countless drugs in your local counter that you can get over the counter that will kill you if you really exceed the stated dose. Painkillers are a good example. It's supposed to be a really painful way to go, though.
>>24111759
why not just OD then?
>>24111826
*Local pharmacy, not local counter.
>>24111836
you can pass out and puke it out
not as much if you break neck and suffocate
>>24111836
if you only get drunk before jumping, you will be more likely not to pussy out in last moment
possibly feel nothing
>>24111885
Why not OD on heroin and then slit your throat with a knife?
That way it's a double-dose of suicide.
>>24111826
I didn't know that. I heard that these pills have changed in recent years so that you can't kill youself with them without taking like a hundred at once or some shit. Anyway, it's not safe enough for my taste and as you said, it's painful. Shit tier suicide.
>>24111777
Okay then. Tell me your story first. I wanna hear it. After that, I tell you mine.
>>24109965
Don't do it raccoon hat man, I know that's you.
- t. smug man chad
You know what, OP? Since you're going to kill yourself anyway, why don't you just go out withdraw all the money in your bank account, go out and get as much cocaine/heroin or any other drug of choice you want and go fuck as many hookers as you can afford?
Or maybe go visit Vegas and get piss drunk and enjoy a night with a hooker or something?
Just do fucking SOMETHING interesting and entertaining and THEN kill yourself instead of ending your life without having spent your last moments doing shit you enjoy!
>>24111992
I feel like I am living a complete life, that there is nothing it can offer for me besides video games.
Being numb and having no drive to do anything seems like I practical thing to an hero.
>>24111944
could work but you need to slit it right way otherwise you might wake up
cutting own throat is not as easy as jumping off the bridge
especially when you are on heavy drugs
I'd stick with with my proposition of jumping off the bridge with rope around neck while drunk
Just go to high enough bridge at night
tie rope (must be long enough to let u gain enough energy to break neck) to the bridge and put loop around neck,
sit at the edge of the bridge
start drinking something strong (vodka should be fine, will get you off in no time)
jump or fall over due to alcohol
break neck and die
easy, nice and clean
just practice tie rope before few times
>>24111399
Go to reddit and find out how to purchase drugs off the net. I know a lot of people who have done it, just don't get ridiculous amounts and you should be fine.
>>24109965
>buy anvil
>tie to 1 end of rope
>tie loop around neck on other end
>drive on highway and roll down window
>heave the anvil out the window when ur ready anon
>>24112086
no video games when your dead anon
you could comfortably play video games on bennies for next 20 or 30 years
>>24112086
But if there is at least one thing that you still enjoy a bit, you should really think through if suicide is the right thing for you.
You still have vidya. Better than nothing. What do you look forward to play? Excited for E3 cringe next year? Nier Automata will be announced for PC soon, the shitstorm on /v/ will be glorious.
Tell me about it. Even if it really is the last good thing in your life. Tell me why you like it.
>>24112143
>Go to reddit
stopped reading there
Anyone else wish there was a full blown war going on right now so you can join and go bananas?
>>24112043
>implying anyone here has much money
>>24110677
You're honestly a saint, anon
>>24112405
Maybe there were spergs like us back in WW2, but they went off to the battlefield and a few became war heroes.
>>24112405
not really war is overrated
>>24112405
they practically made isis for fellas like you. Syria is 1 big boy playground right now.
>>24112454
Look at him.
HE'S TOTALLY SPERGING OUT XD
>>24112463
i would go fight vs isil but it would be too hard to get into syria
theyll probably just think going to join isil and jail you
>>24112448
more likely they got blown up for no reason whilst doing menial labor
>>24112405
go to the shoting range, shoot yourself.
does this work??
>>24111058
Is it possible to get cyanide pill? I'm certain most of the drug dealers don't sell that shit.
Also, it seems that shooting myself would be the best option, but it's impossible to get a gun here where I'm from. Though about OD'ing but the "success rate" on this one is very low, I can see that.
>>24113071
yeah impossible
inb4 that jeweler meme
>>24112831
too many people, would traumatize others.
>>24113490
i really dont care about traumatizing others,
i stab myself here in my room, i dont care either.
i just dont want to liver another day.
>>24109965
>Get to the top of some high building, but not to high
>Bind cheese wire or something around your neck
>Attach other end of it somewhere
>Glue hands to head
>Jump from building
>People will think you were awesome enough to kill yourself by ripping your own head off
I envy you guys that live in US and can purchase guns easily. The best way I see it, is getting absolutely smashed on drugs and alcohol and then just shooting yourself to head. There's just something poetic about it contrary to other ways of suicide.
>>24110437
actually this is a terrible fucking idea. Google "terminal velocity"
>>24111403
I've climbed something like that before, all by myself, at night. I stood at the top just inches from my death. I have to say it was quite an amazing ezperience. Whether you jump or not, you should go up there. You won't regret it
>>24111416
>guts
>>24112086
this is me. My life is coffee, pizza, and vidya, but I'm not suicidal. I fucking love playing video games, and I found a job where I can play vidya at work. I know my life is pointless, but it doesn't bother me. I'll die when I die.
>>24112207
BRILLIANT breh
>>24113647
so selfish anon
>>24114448
you could at least wish me good luck.
>>24112405
If you want to go into war, then join the Kurds.
The Lions Of Rojava or something
they have a facebook
Basically a collection of foreigners from all around the world and arabs fighting ISIS.
basically a rag tag team of good guys
also if you're worried of having no experience what so ever, a /k/ guy supposedly say they take ANYONE, even fat guys.
also you don't need to learn their language, they supposedly have a bunch of english translators
I would join but I have no money, but I would love to hop on a plane and fight.
>>24111385
>>wasting helium to kill yourself
>>24114711
and the us government just lets you?
>>24111111
dayum m8
CHECKED
>>24111058
Don't go for Cyanide. It may be deadly but it's also pretty painful.
t. Chemist
>>24114961
Basically, as long as you aren't fighting against America or it's allies then they will let you off.
but also please don't just join the kurds and play rambo, you are not just fighting for your survival but your brothers in arms as well.
and uh...if you're planning on joining
maybe you can take me along?
>>24115097
http://travel.state.gov/content/travel/en/legal-considerations/us-citizenship-laws-policies/citizenship-and-dual-nationality/citizenship-and-foreign-military-service.html
source btw
>>24111403
you better not make my cell drop calls with your little stunt
>>24115097
gonna get bombed by russians
>>24115091
if it was good enough for uncle adolf its good enough for me
>>24115770
Didn't uncle shoot himself
>>24109965
I'd rule out jumping if I was you. There was a guy who worked at my place that jumped off a pretty high fucking multistory car park. Anyway, short story was that he died, it just took him quite a while after he hit the pavement to do it. Not a good way to go.
>>24115842
did he jump head first?
>>24115829
he did took some cyanide too i believe just in case
>>24109965
From old age, in a bed surrounded by your loving wife, sons, and grandchildren.
>>24115842
yeah i dont know what the thing with jumping is, other than being easy accessible.
It sounds like a terrible way to go
>>24115884
xDDD epic
>>24115884
rest in child support and manly dreams
Go to the bank.
Get a huge ass loan
Buy a bunch of really expensive shit
Have fun
Go buy explosives
Blue yourself up
Have fun
>>24115918
Wouldnt your relative inherit your debt?
>>24115954
Probably. Who cares. He wants to kill himself
>>24115865
Not a clue desu. All I know is that he splattered, but survived long enough for paramedics to take him to hospital where he died shortly after. So he must have lived for at least an hour after his fall in bits and pieces.
>>24109965
this the only correct answer desu
![[Commie] Jinrui wa Suitai Shimashita - 11 [BD 720p AAC] [DD24F84C].mkv_snapshot_20.54_[2015.08.01_12.33.49].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/lDH0DpZ.jpg "[Commie] Jinrui wa Suitai Shimashita - 11 [BD 720p AAC] [DD24F84C].mkv_snapshot_20.54_[2015.08.01_12.33.49].jpg")
>>24111058
if burning alive is only a 95, whats a 100?
>>24113647
>i just dont want to liver another day.
then order the porkchops
Will you fuck my ass first? Or at least give one of us your Steam account?
>>24116043
Companies have actually caught onto people doing that, and have started adding small but life saving amounts of oxygen to helium tanks
>>24115954
>>24115973
unless you live in an ass-backwards shithole that's stuck in 1200 AD, no they won't. Any assets that you have will be seized to pay off the inheritance will be affected but your next of kin won't have to pay a cent unless they also happen to be a co-signer for something
>>24110047
>the bread will then interfere as a sponge
source? or some sort of name for this physiological phenomenon?
>>24115474
Russians aren't bombing the kurds though.
>>24116107
Wood chipper feet first.
>>24116418
yes they are kek, theyre bombing them more than isis.
>>24116514
>>>/k/27830528
they are bombing the "moderates" aka the only one against Assad.
The kurds are against assad as well but they're last on the list.
>>24114711
that's raw as fuck
>>24116555
>source is a post from /k/
arent there euthanasia kits you can buy from mexico? think i read that somewhere idk
>>24116636
http://www.breitbart.com/national-security/2015/10/02/syrian-kurds-russian-air-strikes-important-step-fighting-isis/
>>24116107
no gf and don't feel like going outside
>>24116757
>memebart
might as well site another /k/ post
it might sound unlikely, but legitimately the most painless, most foolproof, and quickest suicide method is to get a very fine sheet of paper and slice it along your pee hole repeatedly until you bleed out.
>>24117007
http://www.mcclatchydc.com/news/nation-world/world/article37394991.html
http://www.wnd.com/2015/10/russian-support-of-kurds-in-syria-ticks-off-turkey/
http://www.cbsnews.com/news/turkey-warns-united-states-and-russia-over-support-to-syria-kurds/
http://www.al-monitor.com/pulse/originals/2015/10/kurdish-leader-pyd-russia-support-syria.html#
Maybe you should look into things before you run your mouth fellow frog poster
>>24113816
thx m8, u just described my exit kit quite well.
remember Americans, when you realize how utterly anti-human our lives and culture are, there is an answer:
drugs ->12-ga shotgun 00 buckshot-> brainstem.
hallelujia!
>>24116733
They ship em over without a problem?
>>24117007
>>24117152
>total silence.
no greater feeling than winning the argument.
I feel so much happier
>>24113750
mate that's not fair i posted that friday
>>24117166
>>24117166
no worries m8. It just sounds like a more comfortable and chill way to die than to jump of the tall building, or drown.
Was driving my old car today at 200km/h speed (I'm living in Eastern Europe btw so not autobahns here), thinking I would love to smash this car so much right now all laughing loud and shit. Didn't have the guts tho
>>24114711
>they take ANYONE
Seriously?
Their website seemed pretty strict.
>>24117799
Your anus is pretty dicked.
>>24110034
buy boltcutters, cut the lock.
jump from a high building, i've survived my attempt and an now unable to have a second try
>>24117799
yes according to a /k/ poster.
they don't really care as long as you bring your own supplies (clothes, medicine, etc.) and can speak a little bit of their language but the /k/ poster didn't know shit but he still got accepted.
>>24110880
Have you talked to your boyfriend about this? i presume since you're with him and you want to be with him before you die means you at least like him. At least you have someone don't kill urself thats stupid
>>24117961
are you serious??? or just baiting? are you paralyzed or disabled? from how high did you jump?
>>24110437
Hitting soft dirt, or maybe even something like cornstalks, at 120mph is often survivable. And you're not allowed to go solo. You're essentially spooning a professional the entire time. Kinda gay desu senpai.
