/lifeadvice/
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You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001
You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001
Round two guys, if you didn't get help yesterday.
Alright life advice thread right here guys.
Tell us what you hate about your life, vent to us.
No poison allowed.
You just gotta work towards helping yourself man. I went from worst kid ever, bullied, socially retarded, speech impediment to A-ok later in life.
We'll help you out. You can always improve, man.
Will reading books out loud help my speech patterns/ practice talking? I know it's better to just talk with people, but I feel retarded/ slur my words together too often.
>>25037995
I'll repeat a couple things from last time.
All right first off you're hurting your future self by not going and improving yourself now.
Ever look back and think aw shit, man, I should've done something with that time instead fuck, I'd be in a better place
Well you can go ahead and not do that. Just do it, man.
You have options.
Everything and anyone can change anything.
You can do anything you try hard enough to do. Get some help if you can't help yourself (Rehab, ect.)
>>25038025
It usually will, yeah. What will improve more is talking to someone, reading to them, or really hardcore pretending you're reading to someone.
Speak to yourself in front of the mirror, but pretend it's someone else. Visualize your words. Some people can improve just by breathing deeper and more smooth. If you have issues with speaking because of social issues you don't have to look directly at someone- try just above or to their side.
Most importantly, don't sweat it, this stuff isn't that bad and it's a lot better when you don't give a shit.
>>25038025
And if you're up to it you can seek a counselor or therapist for this kind of thing- it's how I fixed my issues with speaking, though I was younger at the time.
>>25038119
>If you have issues with speaking because of social issues you don't have to look directly at someone- try just above or to their side.
>>25038154
>And if you're up to it you can seek a counselor or therapist for this kind of thing- it's how I fixed my issues with speaking, though I was younger at the time.
Nope, I'm actually fine with talking to people. Not anxious anymore, I smile, look in eyes. I'm just constantly drawing blanks or too often trying to remember words.
Like, online, I have time to think about each word ahead of when I type it. Or if I think of a better word as I'm typing it, backspace, retype better word.
Except my mind also works that way IRL so I just randomly pause mid-sentence, realize I'm talking, "uh you know like", "like", "what's the word", etc
Also the slurring of words/ bad pronunciation. I just don't have enough practice speaking, so idk if reading out loud would simply build new bad habits.
Does anyone think it's better to try and fail then to do nothing? Can you explain your reasoning?
I'm 100% convinced I will fail at this point, all those things about nothing being impossible or me having a "chance" are loaded bullshit. So is there any to gain from failing? Or should I continue giving up on life?
I'm a guy:
I've noticed a trend that darker/ thicker eyebrows tend to make a generic face look way more attractive/ less psychopath-ish.
I've got bright-ish hair on my head, and that translates into my eyebrows, making them hard to see.
I've got the right face for it as well; does anyone know if beauty parlours or anywhere in particular is able to do something with eyebrows? Not the gross fucking marker shit, and I don't want the feminine "sleek" eyebrow touchups.
Is this a regular sort of thing they can do? Is it weird/ do the results look like shit most often? Would I have to keep going back or something?
>>25038473
>>25038473
Hey man it sounds like if you really focus and read aloud a book for now you'll do well as long as you try your hardest. Every now and then hold a conversation with yourself. Not necessarily weird, but you can be as weird as you want. Reply to yourself. Ask yourself questions. And it sound like you'll most improve just by speaking to other people, people that won't judge you, which I guarantee is most people.
You can get better, just do your best.
>>25038591
I know it sounds like cheesy disney movie advice, but you literally cannot improve without failing a billion times as a pre-requisite.
The most successful people are often simply the ones that are best at continuing after they've failed. Hard.
Failure doesn't lie in falling down; it's simply not getting back up.
Keep going at whatever it is you're doing.
Unless it's like, peeling fingernails off of dead corpses or something. Then stop.
>>25038591
Hey man I think you should always try no matter what you convince yourself- you know deep down you want to.
I'll use a previous example - say you want to ask some girl out-
Think about asking this girl out- (But don't think too much) what can she say?
>No
So nothing happens, and you go on with life after slight embarrassment for no reason. No one will mind. You live. You try with someone else, and get a different answer.
>Yes
That's fucking great man, I believe in you, I know this will happen. You date her, and it's ok.
You sound like a good person. You can do this, she will like you.
What will happen if you don't ask?
>You never get the chance
And you're worse off than if she even said no, which I don't think she will.
You can do it.
You have two futures here- one where you ask, and you never dwell on it again, and everything turns out fine.
One where you don't, and you will always regret it.
Now I want you to ask her. But first make sure you're close. Flirt a little. Don't hold her too high- she's just another person like you, and no better. You're a great person. You can do it. Try your best to act normal and social. If you put your mind to it, you can.
Now everything you convince yourself not to do works like this- it either works, doesn't, or you take the wrong choice and you don't try.
>>25038630
>>25038154
>>25038119
Also, thanks for all the advice!
>>25038666
And this times a thousand it's really true. Don't let bad experiences turn you away from ANYTHING.
>>25038614
I mean I can't help that much with this one but I'll say what I have to say- if you think something will help you- DO IT.
And I bet any kind of beauty parlor will be able to do this- just tell them what you want.
You can buy a makeup kit and run some dark shit over your eyebrows- just run it across really thin.
You have nothing to lose by trying - I say try it, at least once or twice. Google is your friend as well with this kind of thing.
>>25038614
So I just googled and just for men beard dye works wonders up there, apparently.
>>25038591
Yes. Although too much failure can really beat the motivation out of you. Even if you fail you learn something critical that you didn't know before. That's hard won information that will help you on your second attempt.
>>25038917
The worst is failing and not knowing why.
In social situations this can be exceedingly frustrating.
But there are always reasons. It's way too easy to just blame it on others/ society, but you've really got to think of it from their perspective.
>>25038917
>>25038998
Not whoever asked originally, but I seem to fail everything I try. I seem incapable of reaching any significant goal I set for myself, while the people around me go from success to success.
It's very demoralising, and puts me off trying. It's like the effort I put into things and the end result are completely disconnected, so why even try?
I'd ask 'wat do', but I don't think there's really an answer for it past 'keep trying'.
Shit, man I'm not writing all that again. Let me go screenshot.
How can I get more consentrated with school work and homework?Drugs? (aftereffect or direct effect)
>>25039213
What are you trying to do? Is your goal too vague? Is it too far ahead?
Is it something like "get a gf" or "become rich" or something vague like that? Or is it something tangible, like "create 1 game" or "get pre-requisites for X job"?
I am becoming more and more unmotivated as time goes on. I have trouble socializing and all that stuff, and don't really have any friends. I tried to get a psychiatry appointment, but they were all booked for the month and I'll be back at uni by the time they are free again. I don't want to spend yet another semester lonely and sad again. I don't know what to do to improve that I haven't already tried. I honestly want to kill myself but don't really have the means to. What do I do? I feel so trapped.
>>25037995
>Tell us what you hate about your life, vent to us.
I know it may seem dumb, but every time I go outside I get paranoid about the people surrounding me, thinking that they laugh at me about my appearance, or the way a walk, or shit like that. I start to sweat and get anxious and the only thing I want is to return home inmedeately.
I know I'm probably just imaging things but it really bothers me and cripples all form of social activity that I try
I have unbelievably bad oneitis. Like terribad. Like as bad as the male protagonist in a generic romantic drama.
We live thousands of miles apart after I moved a couple years ago. But we've managed to keep in really close contact.
She had been acting distant for the past couple weeks. Which is completely abnormal because we're usually really close. So I decided to bring it up and I think she admitted feelings for me (it was late and we were both tired so it was kinda hard to decipher) and said that it was really hard to be so close to me when she has feelings for me, but she was gonna try. And for a couple days it all went back to it's brilliant best again. But only for a couple days.
She went distant again, I brought it up again, she said the same thing. But then, she suddenly switched it up. Started accusing me of not giving a shit about her. Then she stopped responding to my messages completely.
I know it sounds weird. I haven't left anything out. I don't know what went wrong and I don't know what to do now. I've stopped messaging her for now, so unless she completely stops talking to me for months, then I'm gonna let her make the next move.
>>25039299
It's different goals at different times.
Like I had a goal to graduate uni with a 2:1, and got a 2:2 instead. I think I was also the only person I know to get that grade.
Since then (graduated last June), my goal has been to get into accountancy and get certified, and I've only now made the slightest bit of progress in even getting into a relevant job, and that's just a temp job. Meanwhile a friend of mine, who graduated at the same time as me, has already passed the exams for the certification and now just needs to get experience. I probably won't make much money as she does now until I'm 30.
A lot of the time it's smaller goals as well. A few months ago I started going running, to try to be less unfit. I could do about 2.7k, and was stuck at that level for about a month. Another friend of mine never runs, and he went and did a 5k charity run thing, without stopping once.
I know this is all me comparing myself to others, but it's incredibly frustrating having to work hard and still getting barely any return, while the people around you seem to succeed at everything they try. It makes me feel so inferior, and they're not even dicks about it or anything.
>>25039402
>>25039435
I feel less bad versions of these feels.
>>25039402
Take up hobbies, if you're anti-social try some online games
It's almost impossible not to end up with some passive friends
MMO's in particular are where you should look. For me Runescape and Roblox (building games as opposed to playing) are where I met most of my friends.
i'm a fat loser with no friends who wants to sit in his room all day and wallow in self pity. too much anxiety to try and change my routine. live with mom. only jobs im qualified for don't last more than few months and give me extreme feelings of hopelessness and anxiety and insurmountable pressure to even go to work <20 hours a week.
wat do besides wait to get the courage to end it all.
Part 1 from my previous post on the other thread
Anddd part 2.
What's a great way to off myself? I'm sick of life and have no funds to buy vices to numb my existence.
>>25038591
i'll admit that I still have a "why bother" mindset somewhat from a social angle, because the embarrassment & frustration from being rejected is something that can stick around long-term (particularly if you have mutual friends/locations/whatever)
that said, I've adopted that sort of mind set when it comes to bettering myself and taking on new hobbies. in those situations, failures and short comings are more of personal lessons. it gets shitty in social situations, because many times you won't learn what went wrong, and you'll tend to be worse off than before you attempted whatever social dealio you tried.
you miss 100% of the shots you don't take, but when social/romance shit gets involved, it's like having to take shots while things you care about are behind the targets (penalizing you if you miss)
>>25037995
I'm constantly afraid to do things and can't tell when my fear is rational or if I'm just rationalizing it.
I can't speak to girls and I'm a fucking creep anyway; when I look at myself from an outside perspective I'm disgusted.
I have good hygiene and 7/10 at least face and decent body, but am spergy enough that I've got a bad reputation.
I was diagnosed with brain cancer when I was 14. I still have some of the tumor left in my head but I never asked the odds it comes back and the lethality so I wouldn't have the stress of it. I know its high enough that I get scanned once a year but that's it. Was this a good idea or should I ask?
Should I go to Uni tomorrow?
It's at 7 pm and I want to sleep in ;_;
(23:25 for me right now)
I would give most of everyone in this thread the same advice: put your own house in order first. Fix everything you hate about yourself until you don't hate yourself. Sometimes it's difficult to let go of things, but if they cause you self hatred you must let them go. Maybe you won't fix everything. Maybe you'll always hate your ugly face. Maybe you'll always hate the sound of your voice. At least you can fix your personality - which means fixing whatever you hate about yourself.
Because the two things holding you back are self hatred and guilt.
How can I make my job more bearable?
>19 years old
>work at target doing restock and occasionally cashier
>monotonous and physically exhausting
>at the end of the day my back hurts very bad, feels sore and like needles are being stuck in it
>unhappy at it and have to fake a smile to customers
>>25040274
Ride the carts.
When cashier play some music and dance even if you can't dance. Play it loud. No headphones. Music is better when it's loud. Ignore whatever comments the customer makes unless its related to their purchase.
Don't worry you're not alone. My entire life anytime I hear people laugh around me I think it's because they are laughing at me, or that anytime someone accidentally touches me they are either doing it on purpose to mess with me or to put something on me. Only thing you can do is ignore it and show people that you don't give a fuck.
>>25040274
I know that feel all to well
>18 years old, going to college
>work at target as a cashier
>I have grown to hate people because of it
>try to be friendly, always ask customer how they are doing
>"Good. How about you? "
>" I'm okay"
I'm not really okay
>At uni, 21 y/o, first year
>Have accent and I'm not used to talking in English
>Anxiety over the top
>Don't have any friends, have no idea how to make any now.
>>25038998
Socializing can be very hard to learn. Neets can laugh all they want at airhead Stacies, but these women are very attuned to certain social frequencies and that is a valuable tool.
For a mind that thinks systematically, it's almost like stepping into another state of being. Feeling the moment. Feeling other people's "auras" or "vibes". It's all very subjective yet can have real world implications.
>>25039213
I think a huge key to success is first listening to yourself and making sure whatever you pursue genuinely gives you some spark of happiness. As long as you have that spark you can hack your way through the dense forest of ignorance surrounding the subject until you reach a point where you can honestly play as you work and develop your skills.
>>25040998
>making sure whatever you pursue genuinely gives you some spark of happiness
I wish I could find this.
>>25040971
>>25040971
Just be yourself.
Kidding, it seems like you must first overcome your Anxiety before you can start making friends
or
Find others who happen to have anxiety, you will have something in common.
"In order to help others, you must help yourself first."
>>25040954
How did/do you keep the motivation to go the whole day?
