I'm gonna teach you how to get a date /r9k/. Always works for me. First you need to clean up your facebook, delete all autistic and extremist shares and pictures. If you have a bad profile, ugly/cringy pictures delete them all. Put your best picture on your profile (this only works if you are at least 6/10), no anime shit or anything like that. Put a nice cliche cover like the picture of the thread, no reference to movies or other stuff. Now you are going to pic a girl. Add one who a friend of yours study/works with and it's the same level of beauty as you. Noice, feeling well huh?
When she accepts you wait exactly ONE day to talk to her, preferably somewhere around 6pm to 8pm. Correct grammar fucker.
>you: Hey
>her: Hi
>you: you go to "insert college here", right?
>her: yeah, how do you know?
>you: I have a friend who goes there too, "Mark Dicksucker" do you know him?
>her: Yeah, he's nice.
Now you ask him something that happened recently at the college, some play, event, flashmob, anything like that.
>you: I was at the play that you guys had on Tuesday, did you like it? I thought it was preety fun.
>her: Yeah, it was nice
>her(2): No, i didn't
>you: I didn't stayed until the end thought, how was it?
>you(2): It was preety cool, altought i couldn't stay until the end, how was it?
>her: It was fun, "Gabriela Pussygiver" triped in the curtain. (She will say anything remarkable about the end)
>her(2): That's a shame.
>you: haha, i wish i could have seen that.
>you(2): Yeah, at the end "Gabriela Pussygiver" triped in the curtain (anything remarkable about the event here) it was funny.
cont.
cont.
>her: everybody laughed.
>her(2): Haha i know, i wish i could have seen that.
Wait about 30 seconds between each reply, and after that last one wait about 2 minutes.
>you: so, do you like going there?
>she: yeah, it's preety nice bla bla bla bla
now you must keep this conversation going, talk to her like any normal human being would do, don't say anything cringy PLEASE, you can say that you are not liking your university, explain why, ask her if she likes sports, movies, music, stuff like that (don't say you like cringy stuff like Jazz, Heavy Metal, Russian Movies or Cricket, say you fight Boxe, and pick the same taste of music and movies as her), talk a bit about Mark Dicksucker. Try to talk to her about a hour, you will know if she is open to you or just responding because she is polite. Don't respond exactly as she responds, make it seem like you are busy, try to hear about her the same as you talk about yourself, and make it seem like you have a cool life, but don't do it too much or you will sound cocky.
cont.
At the end of the talk.
>you: i need to go, it's getting late
>you: we should hang out sometime.
>her: yeah, sure.
>here you say anything funny regarding your conversation, or anything said before.
>her: hahahahaha
>you: hahahaha, good night
>her: night
BOOM. You have done it, just talk to her on the same basis for two or three more times, ask Mark Dicksucker to set something up so you guys can hang, or go to a show, picknick, anything she is going to.
>Hey, do you memeber me? Robot Anonymous, we talked sometimes.
talk to her on real life, try to be a little flirty, at the end of the day:
>hey, do you want to go out with me sometime?
BOOM, SHE WILL SAY YES. Thank me another day robots, she might even become your girlfriend sometime.
>>24919424
Hey,
Lemme teach you how to write a resume.
For example, you want to be an accountant,
Academics
>Graduated HS 2010
>2012-2015Harvard school of accounting
Experience
>2014 Accounting Internship at Goldman Sachs
Hobbies
>Maths
>Creating Excel Macros
>Accounting magazines
Simple?
Now, what you shouldn't do if you're applying for an accounting / quality control position
Academics
>2008 failed HS
>2010 community college journalism
>2012-2015 Nothing
Professional experience
>summer 2013 - Walmart checkout
>summer 2006 - Babysat my little cousin Johnny
>___Change diapers
>___Count diapers
>___Responsibility and team work
See? This is *exactly* what you shouldn't do. In your CV, *only* mention what is *relevant* to the job you're looking for. Why mention babysitting when you're applying for an accounting position? Don't be stupid. Managers don't care if you worked one summer at Walmart.
>Having a Facebook
Yeah, get the fuck out.
>>24919424
>you: Hey
>her: ?
>you: you go to "insert college here", right?
>her: err why do you ask???
>you: I have a friend who goes there too, "Mark Dicksucker" do you know him?
>her: no
>you: hahaha ok
>>24919424
the secret to gettings dates is to kill yourself so the eternal void can make out with you forever
>>24919906
you never talked to a normal girl or you are really ugly/autistic
>mfw OP gives solid advice on how to be presentable and social
>mfw you it'll go in one ear and out the other for most on this board
Just it end it now tbqh family
And yes I'm only here because I have a sick case of schadenfreude.
The thing is that I don't have a Mark Dicksucker guy. It's hard to get anywhere when you don't know anyone.
>>24920272
if you're too dumb to understand this >>24919841, let me explain,
What OP does is explaining that to get a girl, all you have to do is
- have friends
- have the money to go out
- have the money to go to college
- etc
This is no sound advice that will be ignore. This is stating the obvious.
Same for advice about building a CV.
I've never found advice about how to present the fact that you have no relevant experience, couldn't study relevant things for the field, don't have any hobbies linked to being a garbageman, etc
Stating the obvious is easy : If you want to be an accountant and you graduated Harvard graduating school with an internship at Goldman Sachs, write "graduated Harvard" under "Academia", and "GS internship" under "work experience".
Like, duh.
OP doesn't come here to sacrifice his time.
He comes here to tell us he scored with chicks. Big deal.
>>24920524
Not OP but that is retarded, you could have the money to go out and go to college but if you're an autistic faggot you're not gonna pull anyone, you could be working part time and training outside of college and maybe can only afford to go to a movie or somewhere (save up if necessary idk how poor you are) but if you're nice, smart, kinda funny and have some confidence (fake it till you make it) then you will eventually get a girl
