>be me
>get along quite well with a qt, similar interests, complementary personalities, etc
>oddly enough just as much we understood eachother just as well we were awkward, or maybe just me haha
>I got kinda desperate for us to get to know eachother better, I just wanted to see if any bond would bloom
>asked her to keep in touch with me, even asked her just to talk with me more
>instead things somehow degraded over time, we talked less and were even more awkwrad towards eachother, I kept asking her what's wrong, and apologising for anything I could have done wrong, or anything I did do when I was ought to
>she just says she tought I didn't want to talk with her
>I kept trying to light up conversations, to get closer or anything, waited for her to get on skype but she never did
>some evening as I play with a newly made acquaintance and his friend I get a phone message
>it's her asking me to get on skype
>I apologise to the gents' I played with and try to get the grip of what's happening
>her writing is just as awful as mine when I cry, oh no..
>at first she claimed she just wanted to talk, then turns out she's drunk, presumeably drowning sorrows
>I try to comfort her, keep company, anything to help, cause that was one of the things I strived towards, our similarities included troubles
>I try to reach out to her ans comprehend what's wrong, beside overall everything, heh
>thing is something she said earlier kinda complicated things
>the thing being she told me, and I kinda realised later on that she's really closed in herself, reserved, distrustful
>at one point she said that she really needed to let it out of herself and I seemed as the only person she trusted enough, yet when I said I'll do everything it takes to earn her trust she says she doesn't know if anyone will ever manage that
>just as confused I am right now, so I was back then, not even knowing what is the problem or what she's trying to confess, cry out, tell, I dunno
>she just seemed torn apart
...
>>24878517
>at some point she ceased to write back
>presumeably ate something and went to sleep as said
>and then something cracked in me and I went on writing just a ton of how I want to help her, make her life happier and paint it beautiful, reassuring that things will get better, that what I care about is her good, that I wish to do what it takes to make her life happy, carefree, pleasnt and fulfilling, at last doing something I never do, being that I promise her all this.
>at last thanked for everything, said that Im grateful for herself, and at last apologising for everything I've done wrong and for any mistakes I might make
>then I go t a nearby store, by her some exclusive sweets and spend half the writing a similar note to her with a drawing that I would hide in the gift
>at school I realise I basically wrote something that seems like a love letter
>not to mention I already confessed that I was kinda charmed by her
>while this time my intention was just to comfort her, yet I wrote the opposite
>I wrote how I want her to know I open my heart towards her, hoping she will too one day, that what's more important is for her to be happy, free of worries and troubles, at last fulfilled, also mentoning that I only hope I will be able to nurute a bond between us, if one would bloom, even by this I did not mean for it to be as if I asked her to be my significant other, but too last I realised I fucked up
>at school I wanted to ask if she feels any better and live up to what I said
>instead we sat next to eachother awkwardly in silence
...
>>24878653
>and then it hit me what I wrote and was doing
>I decided not to back out, I did however additionally write at the back of the note that Im sorry, that I don't know what Im doing and that I neither have clue what Im going to do later
>my hands were all shaking the whole day, legs weak, head light, even breathing was troublesome
>then the moment for me to slip the gift into her bag appeared
>and there I was, sitting nervously, shivering slightly, looking around discretly
>I was worried someone will see, and/or that someone would think Im stealing something of her, despite knowing how ridiculous my toughts are, but I was too terrified by the sole act and my conscious was looking for and excuse
>I finally gather the sparse courage I have and quickly slip the gift
>both the relief and the guilt I felt, now hell if I didn't feel torn apart
>then someone threw something in my head, the hit was bad
>when the bell rang I stormed out of the class not looking back and hid in a corridor she would not pass thtough on the way to the next class
>I notice the horrifying state I'm in, both the mental and physical considering how psychotic I shivered and how faint I felt
>then I avoided her the whole day, actaully everyone cause I know how fucked up I looked and acted
>last lesson, she's already on her way home, and I fortell she'll see the block of text I wrote the evening
>sitting next to a wall and a friend I grab my phone and install skype, wanted to delete all these messages
>my friend notices and asks what Im doing, I realise that I won't be able to delete them all cause skype is kind broken
>I cancel the donwload, and reply "Nothing"
>he and his friend giggle on how retarded this looked, I giggle a bit in irony too
>get back home, immidietly write one last message
>Urh, Im truly sorry, I hove no idea what the hell was wrong with me.
>but she wasn't online, as usual really
>then I spend three days pretty much in bed with the after effects of I dunno... stress?
..
wow OP you should write a young adult novel
>>24878847
And so today Im trying to get my shit together.
One thing bothers me though, just what the fuck happened and what was all this about.
At last what should I do, if anything.
>>24878862
Guess I'll pass on that.. "opportunity".
Jesus christ you're an awful writer
>>24879165
I know, also apologies for the typos.
>>24878956
What you need to do is to write this out in a .docx and print it out, then rescan it from a copy machine and label it "manifesto1.png"
Then I'd check eBay for deals on weapons.
>Her dad probably bought her a black iphone and she wanted a white one kek
>>24879286
What are the requirements to change one's name to Elliot?
>>24879427
Go to your town hall with your Birth certificate, any IDs, and your SSN and tell them you want to renounce your citizenship. Reap social program benefits and be a super NEET and then you don't need to legally change your name and you can shoot up the streets in peace.
>>24879483
Oh, sounds wonderful.
However I just realised it's almost impossible to acquire firearms in my country.
Therefore I'd have to go out melee.
Crafting own weaponry sounds neat too.
